#YES im projecting heavily onto them both NO i dont care

[scatterpatter]

this just in i have been ENABLED RAMBLES ABOUT TFA BLITZWING AND PERCEPTOR UNDER THE CUT- warning it's LONG

*iNHALES* LITERALLY EVERYONE IS WRONG ABOUT THESE TWO BUT ME

Okay okay let me explain

BLITZWING

Blitzwing is my husband I love them a lot okay okay. So Blitzwing is described as having "multiple personalities" in canon. It's pretty obvious the creators had "Multiple Personality Disorder" in mind with Blitzwing's identities, an outdated term now replaced with "Dissociative Identity Disorder" (DID). DID was used instead of MPD since 1994, but since DID still has so much stigma and misunderstanding around it, back in 2007 when TFA was being made, I wouldn't be surprised if the showrunners genuinely thought MPD was still the accurate term.

When many people think of DID, the first thing that comes to mind is usually the distinct identities, and many don't know that DID also comes with dissociation (other than just having separate identities), and may come with symptoms of complex PTSD and other mental disorders like anxiety, depression, etc. It's pretty clear that Blitzwing is in this category, as he has three distinct identities, but shows no on-screen symptoms of anything else dissociative or any other mental illnesses.

For the rest of this post I'll refer to Blitzwing's multiple identities as "plurality" instead of as being a DID system- the biggest reason? He technically can't- or at least shouldn't- have DID the way us humans do.

Our current understanding of DID suggests that DID forms from repeated childhood trauma. Blitzwing, however, became plural thanks to experimentation. Blackarachnia rebuilt Blitzwing's frame to support having two alt modes, making him a triple changer, but gained his multiple identities as a result. So right away, he's clearly plural, but has a form of plurality that is simply not possible in humanity (because, you know, we don't have medical procedures that change your body in a way that you grow new faces with their own personalities)

Now here's where everyone's wrong about them except me. In most portrayals of Blitzwing, I see one of three things:

A very canon-accurate portrayal of his DID stereotype. In line with canon, but not accurate to the experiences of many people with DID - especially with how he gets treated as a punchline for "haha look at the crazy bot!"

A more accurate depiction of DID. My personal favorite, but again not QUITE how I see it because of what I said above- he's plural, but not plural in a way that can be equated to human experiences on a 1:1 scale.

Him not actually being plural, and his other personas being more- well, acting personas, and not their own dissociated identities. This one I'm mixed about. I'm all for taking out bad stereotyping of DID, but I don't like erasing his plurality altogether to do so :(

Fun fact! It's implied that Blitzwing's identities' "names" are moreso nicknames than their full preferred names. We see this because all of them self-identify as "Blitzwing" in the Allspark Almanac:

Also they have different writing styles which is so cute I love them so much

Aaaanyways- some people use the "they self identify as Blitzwing" to "prove" they're not separate identities and that's just... not true. Plurality is fluid and complex, especially for Blitzwing who, again, has a type of plurality not seen in humanity. Systems may have headmates who choose to go by the same name- it's not uncommon, especially in OSDD-1a systems (systems that are similar to DID systems, but whose dissociated parts are not distinctly differentiated enough to qualify as alters). Not to mention with the severe stigma around dissociative disorders, choosing to go by the body's name and present as one identity is very common in systems.

They also don't seem to have any dissociative amnesia between them, another argument I've heard against his plurality... but look at OSDD-1 again. OSDD-1b in particular (systems that are similar to DID and have differentiated alters, but don't have amnesia between them). If these can be explained by human plurality, who's to say Blitzwing's plurality can't exist???

His parts argue, some get along with certain bots better than others- they work together many times but they butt heads too- they appear to seamlessly switch, possibly by choice, and other times they appear to get "thrown" into the front, almost like "pushing" the other out of the way. This is very much a thing with systems!!! Systems can work together, they can butt heads! Sometimes systems can switch willingly, sometimes it feels more like a sudden, almost violent "shove" into and out of the front! And honestly??? For being a product of 2007, Blitzwing really isn't that bad of a portrayal of a system.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT, EVERYONE IS FUCKING WRONG ABOUT ICY, HOTHEAD, AND RANDOM. JESUS CHRIST. /lh

No but seriously it's ABSURD how WRONG some of the takes of these headmates are!!!! Usually Blitzwing follows a "comedy" of threes: Icy will make a pretty emotionless comment, Hothead will front and suddenly say something in an aggressive manner, then Random will front before Hothead can finish, say something batshit, then laugh hysterically. Usually the takes are "Icy is the calm one", "Hothead is the violent one", and "Random is the batshit one who just says whatever", or something to a similar extent. Not BAD takes and not TOTALLY off-course, but just. Hear me out.

Icy appears to be the "Host" of the system. the one who fronts the most and is sort of the "face" of the system to interact with the outerworld. He's cold and calculated, yes, but he's not the "polite" one or anything like that. He seems genuinely curious to organic life, and it's super important to note: he's very salty and unafraid to make rude quips at people, which may cause them to react negatively to him in response, which often leads to:

Hothead appears to function as a "Protector" of the system. He usually fronts to be the most "violent" of the three, yes, but it seems to run deeper than that. As soon as someone makes fun of Blitzwing, especially for his plurality, Hothead takes the front to respond in aggression (the fight in "fight or flight", if you will). This is most seen with him responding with "The name's Blitzwing" when Blackarachnia calls him "Three-Face", a term meant to insult and could even be as bad as a slur in TFA's universe for all we know. He also doesn't always respond with yelling or physical violence, he can and does speak calmly and correct people without needing to go full physical. And if that doesn't work:

Random. Everyone is wrong about Random but me. Icy and Hothead are limited to their own elemental weapons, and one alt mode each (ice and the jet for Icy, fire and the tank for Hothead), yet Random seems to be able to wield both weapons AND both alt modes. He's potentially the "strongest" (or at least most versatile) headmate in the system, yet we almost never see him at full strength due to his goofball attitude. Random appears to also be a "Protector" of the system, as well as possibly a "Mediator", or "Gatekeeper" if we want a term used by some to describe system roles. Hear me out. When Icy and Hothead argue over which alt mode to take, it's Random who makes them compromise by choosing both. While Icy and Hothead appear to be able to "push" the other out of the front, it seems like neither can "push" Random out, implying that Random has the most control over switching. And with protecting, HEAR ME OUT. Have you ever known someone who copes with humor? Who laughs off something distressing so that you don't pay too much attention to them? That's exactly what Random does. You see it when Icy makes a rude comment, then Hothead says something aggressive, which may provoke someone else to be aggressive. But then Random will pop in, say something random(hah), and it very much reads to me as a diversion tactic. As a "hehehe don't mind me, I'm just a silly crazy bot, I'm not actually a threat, don't try to hurt us!", OR used to push back at people like "Oh and YOU call ME the crazy one HAH LOOK AT YOU", very self-aware dry humor. Protect via Deflect. Listen. LISTEN. LISTEN. AM I WRONG??? AM I WRONG???

YES this doesn't account for EVERY instance of Blitzwing's onscreen interactions but ONCE YOU SEE IT YOU CAN'T UNSEE IT. It shows up SURPRISINGLY OFTEN.

No one understands Blitzwing like I do. Everyone is wrong about them but me. /J

holy shit that was a lot of words.

Anyways.

PERCEPTOR

OOOUUUUGHHHHH WHERE DO I EVEN FUCKING BEGIN. So the understanding of Percy in much of the fandom is "Perceptor has no emotions, he deleted them, he literally feels nothing and doesn't care about anything other than science." AND OUUUGHHH THEY'RE SO WRONG ABOUT HIM IM BARK BARK BARK HISSS

Ahem excuse me

First off, let's hear where this "deleted emotions" thing came from.

Assuming Shockwave (the one who wrote his entry in the Allspark Almanac) is telling the truth, we can already pick pieces of this apart. First off, "most", not "all". Second, he's claiming Percy deleted most of his "personality subroutines", which is different from "emotions". We don't know exactly what the "personality subroutines" entail, but we already know he isn't 100% lacking in emotional response nor the ability to have empathy and sympathy.

And let's just. Let's just rip the big ol' bandaid off right here and now. You wanna know what this seriously reminds me of? Someone having a dampened emotional response that results in being misinterpreted as being "cold and heartless" and "unable to feel any emotions"??? GUESS WHAT TWO THINGS COME TO MIND.

One way Autism can manifest in people is low empathy. It's not that these people don't feel anything or are unable to sympathize or practice compassion, it's just that they have difficulty making an empathetic connection with others. This can lead to them appearing cold or heartless to others who don't understand, and could very well be what's happening with Perceptor. People with autism may also speak in a more monotone voice, not unlike how Perceptor's text-to-speech voice manifests.

"Something causes someone to significantly dampen their emotional response in order to focus on their work"? Gee, sounds like a potential DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER RIGHT THERE! Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE WITH BLITZWING BUT NAH PERCY COULD SHOW SYMPTOMS OF SUFFERING WITH DISSOCIATION AS WELL. YES I'm biased because I have a headmate who, due to trauma, formed to have a severely dampened emotional response, often speaks more in a monotone voice, and thinks/acts pragmatically in order to survive. But I DON'T CARE I'M PROJECTING. Given the basically War Crimes nature of the experimentation that the Autobots used during the war (AND CONTINUE TO USE! LOOK AT PROJECT SAFEGUARD THAT WAS INCREDIBLY IMMORAL WHAT THEY DID TO THE JETTWINS), is it really that outlandish to think that Perceptor developed a form of dissociation so that he could focus on his work without being emotionally harmed by how overwhelming and potentially traumatic their work is? "Don't think about it too hard, just do the work and we'll get through this", nose-to-the-grindstone mentality. Dissociation could be the only way Perceptor is able to do the questionable experiments they do without losing his sanity.

And listen. Fucking look at me. Not only does Perceptor describe feeling "unsettled" and "not comfortable" in the Allspark Almanac, very explicitly stating that yes he does still experience emotions, but just. Look at the "Rise of Safeguard" comic. The CANON comic that came with the Jetfire and Jetstorm toys. LOOK AT PERCEPTOR HERE.

YOU FUCKING LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THIS MECH CANNOT FEEL EMOTIONS. YOU LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME HE IS PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF CARING.

IN CONCLUSION

Blitzwing has a form a plurality that shares numerous traits with disordered systems (DID/OSDD-1), though that plurality cannot be equated with any human experience on a 1:1 scale. Icy is a host, Hothead is a protector, and Random is a Gatekeeper who also sometimes function as a Protector.

Perceptor is NOT emotionless nor incapable of caring. He supposedly deleted most of his "personality subroutines", but that is not the same as being incapable of experiencing emotions nor caring about others. He may show symptoms of having Autism, having some form of a Dissociative Disorder, or even both.

Everyone is wrong about these blorbos but me. /J

you know you're Normal(*) about a media when you have the "Literally everyone is wrong about this character EXCEPT me" take about not one but TWO blorbos in the same media-

Anyways I like Blitzwing TFA and Perceptor TFA a lot

*Absolutely fucking deranged

[goobie-goo]

im gonna send the character cast rq uhhmm ye

resistance

dallas (you know this guy!!! this dude!!!)

Alibi - The Jester/“Zinnia”. all pronouns. literally,, when i was thinking of the identities to give xym, i just wrote down “whoops! all gender” and i think that says a lot about rot. trans, nonbinary, pangender, pansexual, asexual, panromantic. AuDHD (autism + ADHD).

heavily implied to be in a relationship with dallas during walls arc and up to their death in the wilds arc. its all i think about. however idk how to define it. idk if theyd be in a queer-platonic relationship (which is the only one i’d give bc im projecting onto dallas and dallas is the same flavor of aroace i am). i also feel like they wouldnt use a label. theyd just be like “we are best friends. we would live for each other. we would die for each other.” maybe some kind of alterous attraction but i wouldnt know— im quoiromantic/nebularomantic (aromantic microlabels). so since i cant think of it, its just gonna be like unlabeled but Its There and its FUCKING OBVIOUS LMAO (it gets worse when i imagine the scene of: alibi bleeding out in dallas’ arms as they scream for a medic among the screaming crowd, trying not to get trappled by people scrambling for safety from the royal forces. dallas is applying pressure to the wound like skip told them. why isn’t it working? why is it not working—?!) (dallas just turned 16 two months ago. alibi was only 3 months older.)

they wouldnt actually have their title of The Jester unless i tweak some things bc those titles are from the rebellion arc, which alibi had already died and wouldnt be there for. the flower titles do have meanings though. theyre from my floriography book, i can pull it out and share if you like?

it’s legal name is charlemane, but they actually don’t mind it. dallas would call them charlie in serious moments.

Asmodae - The Shield/“Cypress”. legal name: raelynn marie hellings. she/her. cis, lesbian. autism.

largely inspired by astrid from HTTYD! the badass-ness!! the take no shit!! the snark!!! while still being kind!! aaHHABAHHS! now that i think about it, also a lil bit of natasha vibes.

they are always down to fight and WILL fuck you up. they are the protector. they are the one to confront the bully and be like “what did you say about my sibling?!”

Juno - The Dahlia. legal name: june absidee goldborne. they/she/fae. genderfae. idk their romantic + sexual orientation actually— i didnt think about it. autistic *vine boom* adhd *vine boom* anxiety *3 fast vine booms*. hispanic— one parent is something similar to mexican except mexico doesnt exist in this fictional world. i dont have a world map made. the walled-in city doesnt even have a name 😭 has either/both POTS or EDS (cant decide). uses forearm crutches and sometimes a wheelchair!

hella good sniper. the long range fighter of the group. fae is very sweet and hyper-empathetic. instead of being shy, they’re just awkward (relatable)

she’s also known as The Black Dahlia. can unassemble and reassemble a gun in *really fast time idk i dont touch guns*. mercenaries wish they were as good as them when it came to guns.

Skip - “Clematis”. legal name: silas (no last name made). he/him. cis, bisexual. autistic.

THE OLDER BROTHER YOU WISH YOU HAD. THAT I WISH I HAD. AUGH. (RIP skip actually imagine getting tortured— huh what? did i say something? :3)

he jokes around a lot, hes snarky, hes sassy, hes sarcastic, hes caring, hes protective, hes— *chokes on air*

hes the one that gave dallas the name/title striker. hes the adult that believed in dallas (older by like,, 7 or so years i think)

The Family/The Eyes

dallas!!! wooah!!

Aji (ahgee - ă-jē) - The Apogee. any pronouns. literally agender. panromantic asexual. AuDHD.

it normally takes the form of a human teenager or child. xey are older than one could imagine, as they were created when the first world came to fruition.

many actually have a betting pool on how old she is. none of them are winning.

he is very parental tbh -> “no. no, aji. we can’t take in another kid.” “BUT LOOOOKKKKK! THEY WERE ABANDONED AS A SACRIFICE TO THEIR MORTAL GODS— CMONNNNN PLEASEEEE *puppy dog eyes*” “ugh fineeeee”

seraphina! nicknamed sheriff by dallas (seraph said weird). she/they. panromantic lesbians.

as i mentioned, their backstory is dallas’ OG one— er,, a few details of it.

backstory ->

she was like. an amalgamation tbh. mostly human but has enough elf genes to perform minor spells. but then was kidnapped and was experimented on and grew wings when she was still alive. (they stuck into her death and then her ascension where she grew a total of 6 wings. thats the common wing amount for those in The Syzygy.)

there was a trafficking ring for people who were experimented on. she was one of the only older kids in the ring (that survived) so they were babysitting and im :[[[ aWHg my heart

she was sold to a wealthy rich man. the angel from original poem. the angel that saved them is Apogee? probably. or one of the Five. (these are the details from the poem) (since writing the notes ive decided its most likely aji or dallas)

Memphis. they/she/he/it. agender + pansexual. AUTISMM BRR BRR BRRR where da hoes at (/ref)

no backstory or anything theyre still new but OhhOho My goD tehyre. zjsnsjsnntheyre so pretyt theyr Hot- theyre AHHWHSB /p.

RAHHHHHHHHH

these guys look SOO COOL!!!!!!! i want to befriend tgem ALL……….. im obsessed with aji’s design :000000

i want to give them all a big ol hug

[x1e3ju]

sigh. another shuake rant that literally makes no sense god be with me pls…

title speaks for itself. not in the best mood rn but i feel like transness was in the air today and even if it gloomy as heck, the air is more pretty.. hmmm sounds like transfeminism to me.

i always and i mean always fall for the transgirl characters even transgirl irl i love transness sm i love femininity, not feminine identifying myself but MY GOD feminine presentation is beautiful, all kinds. and yes, i have to make everything about shuake. i feel like one reason i really like them so much is cuz of my own projections onto them, its uhm.. a lot that goes into all that but in the general, i based akechi on someone i heavily care about and met last year (which when once talking to them told me about how they would think about transitioning like mtf when they grew older) and with that, was born my akechi transfemme headcanon. didnt realize it at the time, didnt realize many things but i also ended up learning apparently i have a thing for transfemme characters and just feminine presenting characters in general! like to list some characters i have hyperfixated on in the past esp in the art category goes from maya fey to saki tenma to akechi in that order and when it comes to some of favorite characters i wasnt able to draw more often due to a bunch of other stuff were characters like phoenix wright and mizuki akiyama and further in both lists is a bunch more. and its true i only listed two characters i really like headcanon as transfemme there but i see phoenix more of a feminine guy, still being cis but liking more pink girly “gay” shit lol and obviously the struggles that come with that. i see saki and maya as more femme girls liking pink and struggling with their femininity in a way that goes with sexuality and what it feels to be the femme one in a relationship or a feminine presenting woman which brings me into my bigger topic.

mi nina bella arquita (arca the singer lol) posted on her story a tumblr post about transfeminity and how difficult the experience is for trans women and mind you im not a trans woman myself but just knowing the experience of being a woman or being born female more like it like i cant imagine what that must be like to somebody who is new to that concept, even if it’s scientifically not very different, i can’t imagine learning that so late in life or whenever u learn it to someone treated as a complete outsider if that makes any sense. and again like i stated early and in no little more to my adhd i always think about akechi, its just a necessity atp. but he was somebody who never got the chance to even think about things like that, like i know what that experience feels like, as a trans person myself and mind you my upbringing was very different than his aside being born female and all, i had the time and the support even if very little and not the best to be honest to think on all those things but he didn’t he had nobody else. that even brings me to akira. i dont headcanon akira as transfemme at all i see him as transmasc very heavily to the point i treat it as canon but anywho, its the same sorta contrast. akechi is so closed off to the idea of his transfeminity, even i feel he would already know he’s gay and interact probably with others online who are, very distantly but yea lol i think he would be a stan twitter reveluv but to the idea of being trans and not just trans but transfemme, is a completely different story for him.

while on the other hand, i feel like akira would be so open to the idea. yea maybe he wouldn’t be outwardly telling everyone “HEY IM TRANS!!” yk lmao but thats not really pride, thats not really what it looks like contray to popular belief and also dont even get me started with the fear of the people around you, the first most prominent point. its a whole other fear a whole other level of boundaries that people cross just to know if you have boobs and a pussy or not, from personal experience its disgusting disturbing and just plain out insane. but i feel like with the right people that he trusts its something its more comfortable to share, even sharing with it sojiro despite his age and the fact that most adults don’t care to respect to understand transness. i feel like akechi would be so terrified to even think about it, the fear of even asking someone he knows is trans (little stalker lmao) because it forces him to think. and it makes others question yk you don’t really ask someone “hey what does it feel like to be trans” for a friend lol.

i also think about shuake as a whole too the fact that i think akechi would grow that level of comfortability to even ask at some point, probably right before he’d die but the effort was put you know? the question was asked, the barriers were broken and i think their love is so beautiful because even with anything and everything, akira would still be there for him. not just because akira loves him which to be honest, probably has a much bigger sentiment but in a way, that just sorta feels like an obligation right? akira wants to be there for akechi because he knows what that feels like even if, no he really doesn’t because being a trans woman and being a trans man are very different experiences it all ties back to the same string. men and women really aren’t that different, we’re all human and the literal same species. we all have brains and can think for ourselves and oh does the list go on. the experience is obviously very different societally, which can not be ignored with our current society but again, he wants to be there for him because hey, you’re a transgender person like me too. the support and comfort i never had. pushing that extra level of questioning and testing and support and validation and whatever it may be because yes being a transwomam not have been the same experience akira went through but he is still trans and in that simple word lies some kind of a connection and the type of support he was never given. he had to learn it himself and he’s just passing it onto akechi. like again again, yes he loves him but he knows what he needs and like ugh. that is just so beautiful i love solidarity

its so many things that make their relationship for me that i feel i will never find again. something so beautiful in the complex, no little thanks to my multiple personality disorders as if one wasn’t enough. something so beautiful in the support and love you can offer somebody and i wish wish wish wishh transphobia wasn’t such a PLAGUE in everything! like ugh naoto, the storyline you deserved… honestly fuck atlus with all my heart tbh♥

[standarrow]

abbacchio essay under the cut because he’s so important to me (god this is so long im sorry i have adhd i hope this is readable<3)

tl;dr being on how i think he healed and handled up until part 5 :”) + thoughts on his relationship to the team

tw!!! for all of the usual things that pertain to his backstory including: [death, alcohol abuse, police, ptsd/depression, etc]

i may be projecting<3 its fine

to start:

im not a fan of the way a lot of people handle handle abbas trauma and illness. the "entering a relationship fixes your problems<3" shit. or the romanticization of depression...i see both a lot, along with utilizing his substance issues as like a catalyst. i dont have to say why that shit isnt ok or healthy.

getting into it (because i want it to be this deep):

there is ... a lot of guilt that he shoulders around the death of his partner. someone he was friends with (and relied on him as a literal partner) died because He fucked up. that person wanted to protect him and died selflessly while he'd broken his own morals and he feels like it should have been him to pay for it. 

but he wasnt. and now he suddenly has two mistakes and blood on his hands. getting fired doesnt even Begin to fix that, so he withdraws because he cant trust himself, cant trust the institution he was already disillusioned from, and imo hes angry that he didnt get punished worse for his own crimes (but cops always get off easy)

bruno finds him in the worst place of his life and gives him a chance to put schedule in his life, to protect even if its not in the way he originally thought he would. he still doesnt trust himself, i do not think he takes to working with a partner easily (what if he fucks up again. he'll get bruno/narancia/fugo killed.) and i think that reflects in why moody blues isnt meant for combat. combat = danger. 

obligatory moody blues being an allegory for his trauma and ptsd surrounding the death of his partner.. constantly haunted by his own mistake and reliving that moment. heavily referencing his wish to redo, to know every detail of that prick he let bribe him that killed his partner, to have Control. because abbacchio isnt really about The Moment -- he's making sure the Moment doesnt have a chance to come to fruition. its nipping it in the bud before the weed can kill. he wants to make sure he can figure out whats going on First and protect. to figure out past events and prevent future danger.

starting to heal:

i’ve done a timeline previously: he graduates high school in 1998, six months for the police academy, 6 months before hes out again.. joins passione in december (rainy season) of 1999, and by december of 2000 (~4 months before part 5) hes like.... well. doing better in terms of his alcoholism. we see abbacchio by part 5 occasionally and seemingly comfortably enjoying a glass or two, which speaks that after some time working hes sort gained some..... confidence in his ability to keep his intake low. 

working for bruno means he cant drink as often or binge as much, hes needed and that structure keeps him in check, its not easy and yes he slips but its about and overall upwards climb because any progress is good progress... he builds a rapport with the team, comes to appreciate brunos role in giving him a chance and some peace of mind, sees himself in fugo, treats narancia like a little brother. relationships with others cant Fix your problems but friendship and structure can help, they can be there when you need it.

hes starting to trust himself more. and his relationship to fugo and nara were as crucial as his one with bruno is.

in purple haze feedback we see that he's been teamed up with fugo, and he knows fugos stand ability very well (see mirror man fight)... they Get each other and abbacchio sees a lot of his anger and distrust at himself in fugo, and easily calms fugo down when he gets upset (see mirror man episode in the car) 

fugo helped him trust himself and others more .. that other people arent Fragile and arent going to die on him every time they get into danger and its not His fault. he relies on fugo and vice versa. the kid is powerful but also a smart tactician and extremely capable. they Get each other and it helps abbacchio trust himself in combat situations and helps calm his paranoia about getting someone killed while working ... and nara is just sunshine. hes an annoying little brother but it helps him retain normalcy. some sense of like. not everything is doom and gloom

his depression and general self? depreciation perhaps doesnt leave him because those kinds of thoughts mould your brain a certain way.. they dont just go away without some work. but perhaps time with bruno helps him start to realise his worth, the way the team appreciates him and his ability. his self consciousness can start to fall away a little bit. i think by the time december of 2000 (a year after his recruitment by my timeline) hes like... a lot more comfortable with the schedule of his life, it helps him get out of bed, gives his brain a structure to latch onto. the responsibility of overseeing the younger ones and helping bruno gives him the sort of hope for this original goal of wanting to protect

@ bruno (in a more romantic sense perhaps + why i think he distrusts giorno so much)

his relationship to bruno isnt fucking “godlike savior<3″ because thats.... needless to say Very unhealthy. 

their relationship doesnt reach a point by where i think Either would even want to enter a relationship until about a year in (~4 months before part 5 begins)... theres a certain uncertainty i think bruno has with wanting to help abbacchio, he respects and cares about the other man and canonically sees him as his senior.. and i think theres a certain wall there that bruno isnt sure he wants to try to knock down, meanwhile abbacchio isnt sure when he built those walls but theyre safe (and what happens if you try to reach out?)

i think they sort of fall into it and its not... planned. its a little impulsive but it feels natural and they help each other because bruno is this comfort to abba, is the reason he has this structure and has made this progress himself and hes not....crediting it all to bruno obviously but bruno did play a Large Role. and bruno is all about little white lies, appearances. Yes hes fine. Dont worry, he has things under control. 

and i think to an extent abbacchio knows of brunos softer spots (as does fugo, bc of the reason he and fugo team up as described in phf is to protect him) but abba doesnt realise to the extent that bruno is .... hiding his real fears. brunos a lot about compartmentalization (hi zippers) and being let into brunos internal... thoughts beyond the occasional worries he mightve shared is a big step for them. bruno buries a lot of his internal problems and worries. he has to. hes got to keep moving, keep working; people rely on him... but abbacchio is the person he doesnt feel like he needs to protect because theyre equals and maybe he can let someone in to shoulder his worries and vice versa. theyre partners.

which is why i think abbacchio initially distrusts giorno so much... its not tht he doesnt trust bruno, but bruno doesnt Tell him about this. he realizes he might not know all brunos fears (specifically @ his distate and hate towards the mafia i made the point about in the bruno isnt evil post where its like.. he Couldntve shared that information, otherwise he would endanger abbacchio)

and it scares him. it freaks him the fuck out because he doesnt understand who this kid is or why bruno trusts him so much but he trusts bruno so he goes with it, even if he doesnt Understand.

anyways thts my TEDtalk ty i love you for reading this if you got here<3

[larissaloki]

sharing is caring 3

shoutout to my beta who i wont name incase they dont want me to! 

@schwergaeneuser @msmynx @im-tops-bottom @jacksonfrost24 @seven-oomen @el-rezet @thoughtfulbreadpolice @cwar1864 @starsofyggdrasil you guys all asked to be tagged in future chapters and here you go! sorry for the long ass wait! 

Groaning, Tony opened his dark, whisky brown eyes that look up at a thankfully darkened ceiling. Soothing low lights illuminate the area but aren’t enough to hurt his eyes, allowing him to get awareness slowly and at his own pace. Whoever had the foresight to dim the lights, he will send them a massive fruit basket to show his appreciation.  

Turning his head to the side, Tony takes in more of his surroundings as he tries to figure out what on earth happened, and just where the hell he is. 

To his surprise, Tony can see what looks like a lab beyond the area he is in. While he looks, a Wakandan in a lab coat strolls by, talking to their…wrist? Confused, Tony winces as he slowly sits up, rubbing at his chest and arm as he feels his limbs protest the movement.  

Setting his feet onto the floor, he notes that his clothes from earlier, the ones he recalls wearing on his flight, have been replaced by a dark blue tunic with black, very loose linen trousers. Both are far more comfortable than they should be, and Tony wondered if they would let him keep the clothes if he asked nicely. 

“I see you are finally awake,” 

Jumping (and no he did not scream!) and craning his neck to look over his shoulder, Tony spots Shuri; recongising her from their video calls from before. 

“What happened? Last thing I remember was being on the plane…” 

Playing with the beads on her wrist, Shuri walked around the table to stand in front of the elder Omega, smiling at him, though in her eyes Tony can see a cheeky glint. An easy to miss look that makes Tony think of Peter. 

“How are you feeling? M’Baku found you in a pool of mud and water. Very lucky you were here in Wakanda when the accident occurred. Anywhere else and you would still be bruised and broken.” 

“Whoa wait, how long has it been since you guys found me?” 

Brow furrowing in confusion yet intrigue, Tony tries to stand and is happy to find that he can do so perfectly, even if he is a little groggy still. 

“Oh, about 3 hours? I’ve been improving our healing system lately!” 

Smiling brightly and obviously proud of herself, Shuri helped him move away from the table and slowly led him to a lab chair. She offered him a drink of water which Tony gratefully accepted, downing it as fast as he could without making himself sick. Putting the cup down and breathing heavily, Tony’s eyes widened in shock and no small amount of awe. 

“Three hours?!” 

Damn Wakanda really is superior huh? Tony shook his head and tucked away his questions for another time, though he would love nothing more right now than to take a look at the system Shuri was using and learn how it all works. Tony quickly brought his focus back to the main issue. 

“Does anyone know what exactly happened? What caused the accident?” 

Sitting down near him, Shuri gave him her full attention. 

“I just checked in with T’Challa before you woke up. The are looking through the ruins as we speak and T’Challa said he is cataloguing everything they find and if they spot anything weird, they will let you look over it. I also have scanning equipment to look for any electrical faults or tampering” 

Rubbing his forehead, Tony sighed heavily as he tried to think of anything that could have gone wrong. The aircraft was one that he’d built and put together mostly by himself, anything he hadn’t done himself he had Friday overlook and monitor. However, if its not the actual craft that was compromised, then that leaves the horrible option that someone had snuck something onto the plane without Tony or Friday realizing. And that honestly frightens him far more. 

From the grim look that Shuri is giving him, she knows exactly what he’s thinking. 

“Thank you Shuri, for healing me and to your brother for looking over the plane for me,” 

Waving away his thanks Shuri grins at him, her upbeat personality coming back through. “Don’t thank me, I kinda wanted an excuse to show off something to you” 

Giving her a grin of his own Tony looks back over to the area he had just been laying in. 

“I am thoroughly impressed already and cannot wait to see more inventions from you”  

Bouncing in her seat, her body practically vibrating in excitement, Shuri grabs his arm to pull him up as she stands. “let’s start the tour!” 

Without waiting for Tony to reply, Shuri drags him off to show him around her lab, introducing him to the various scientist that are currently working on one project or another. Tony loved the moving black model pedestal. The black matter moving fluidly to bring up whatever is needed, be it floor plans or models of objects. Essentially a much better version of a hologram.  

When Shuri showed him the bigger version in the middle of the floor that allows her to remotely drive a vehicle from the lab, Tony lost it and insisted on her giving him a demo of it. Like children in a toy shop, they got stuck into their own little world. 

They were so engrossed in what they where doing that they completely missed M’Baku entering with Bucky following behind, carrying a tray of food for Shuri and Tony. The duo had intercepted the original person carrying it and insisted on delivering it themselves. M’Baku brought them to a stop a few feet away, watching the now healed Stark chat away with the younger genius. 

Bucky stood a little bit awkwardly behind M’Baku, as the last time he and Stark had met face to face…bad shit happened. He didn’t want to hurt Stark, the poor omega had been hurt enough as it is; yet his concern had won out and convinced him to keep checking on Stark’s progress as he healed. M’Baku was much bolder than him though. 

They watched for a while longer as the two geniuses spoke at the speed of light, Tony screaming and eagerly testing out each invention. Firing questions and saying words that M’Baku could not keep up with nor hope to understand. Amused, M’Baku makes his way closer calling out in a sudden booming voice to catch their attention. 

“Food! That is if you two can drag yourselves away from the toys long enough to eat it,” Smirking when Tony and Shuri jump, M’Baku helps Bucky put the food on a near by counter for them. 

Rolling her eyes, Shuri gets up and helps tony before deactivating the invention they were playing with. 

“How did you get in? I thought I banned you after the 5 times you guys asking if Tony was better?” 

Looking over the plates, Shuri oohs at the variety of foods that had been prepared for them, many of which would be easier for Tony to eat if he was still feeling a little off. Behind her, Tony catches sight of Barnes and pauses briefly as he takes everything in. 

Barnes looks hopelessly nervous and scared stood behind the larger Wakandan, the red robe like clothing actually looks good on him, the blue sling around the stump where his arm used to be is done in a tasteful manner which doesn’t drag your attention overly to it. Hell, Tony can even admit that Barnes looks healthier overall, his hair looks fluffy and is longer, a small portion pulled back into a bun. Tony is not afraid to admit that Barnes looks handsome. 

Wakanda obviously agrees with him. 

“You look good Barnes” 

Freezing slightly, Bucky looks up at Tony in surprise that Tony is actually acknowledging him. Nodding his head slowly and drawing himself up to stand a bit straighter, Bucky gives Tony a small, soft and shy smile. 

“So do you” 

Huffing in amusement, Tony plucks up from fruit to eat to keep his hands and mouth busy as he feels an uncharacteristic shyness overtake him. 

“Thanks, considering I was a wreck 3 hours ago, I take that as a big compliment” 

Between them, M’Baku looks between them with growing glee at how adorably shy these two are. Yes, he knows that things were not that great between these two not so long ago, but it seems to be fixable judging by what he’s just seen. Deciding to think more on this later; and possibly make a plan to help these two fix the gap between them. M’Baku pulls out a bottle of juice that his tribe had made themselves. 

“I brought this as well, it’s meant to help with any aches. Would you like to try some?” 

Humming in thought, Tony looks the larger Alpha up and down in a considering manner. Growing up rich, Tony had gotten used to expecting many Alphas having a motive behind many of their actions. Some more sinister than others. However, this alpha seems genuine enough.  

“Sure! As they say, when in Rome do as Roman’s do huh?” Tony flashes M’Baku his most harmless yet charming smile. 

Oh, M’Baku thinks, I’m in trouble.