#Wow so many questions :O I've never seen anyone ask this many questions to me before :D

[t0t4lly-n0t-z4hw4]

Me again lmao, here to ask u dumb questions about ur religion lol

1: why cant muslims eat pork?

2: why cant muslims support or be apart of LGBTQ?

3: why do muslims wear hijabs?

4: can muslims wear clothes like a t-shirt and shorts?

5: why do muslims wear clothes that cover (almost) their whole body?

6: ( this is a stupid one) who is allah exactly?

7: are muslims allowed to cuss?

8: can muslims celebrate Halloween, thanksgiving and Valentine's day?

9: are some muslims not religious?

10(last one): can muslims eat other meat that isn't pork? Like beef, chicken duck, lamb etc.

( alr im sorry some of these questions are dumb, im not muslim myself so- XD)

Welcome back, Salty! Don't worry, those questions of your wasn't dumb at all. To be honest, if knew nothing abt muslim even i am a muslim myself, i would ask this many questions-

Why can't muslims eat pork? To be honest, i have no other answers beside the fact that pigs actually eat their own poo. Pigs eat other pigs if they need/want to. And pigs eat their throw-ups. I have no other answers besides that. I asked my parents why can't we eat pork, and that is their answer.

Why can't muslims be apart/support LGBTQIA+? Because, LGBTQIA+ is actually made up by humans. Allah SWT. does not approve nor create LGBTQIA+. And Allah SWT. is against it. Tho, there's actually some sexualities that count as halal! And that is asexual & aromantic. I do not know what other sexualities that counts as halal beside those, so- (I actually asked to my religion teacher if muslims could respect LGBTQIA+ or not. And he said yes muslims can respect them)

Why do muslims wear hijab? Just to let u know : Not ALL muslims wear hijab. Only female muslims wear them. But, if u don't want to wear hijab, then that's ok. U can only wear hijab if u're ready to wear them. I'm not a hijabi muslim tho.

Can muslim wear clothes like a t-shirt or shorts? Yes, they can. But the shirts that they can't wear is any clothes that shows their stomach, or any clothes that are revealing. And they also cannot wear covered clothes that are very tight. That's called "Covered But N4ked". Also; Yes, they could wear shorts. As long as it wasn't too short.

Why do muslims wear clothes that covers (almost) their whole body? I...actually don't really know. But i'l try my best to answer this using all my knowledge! Muslims wear clothes that (almost) covers everything, is because Allah SWT. wanted to protect them. Another reason; Allah SWT. wanted to avoid other ppl looking disrespectfully at them, by telling them to wear coverrd clothes.

Who is Allah SWT. exactly? Allah SWT. is just God. Allah SWT. means God in Arabic.

Are muslims alliwed to cuss? Nope. It's a sin. Tho, if u want to cuss, make sure to replace them, like F!ck into Fudge. Sh!t into Shoot.

Can muslims celebrate halloween, thanksgiving, & valentine's day? No, they can't. Allah SWT. doesn't approve it.

Are some muslims not religious? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ᵐᵃʸᵇᵉ Idk tbh-

Can muslims eat meat that isn't pork? Like beef, chicken, duck, lamb, ets. Yes, they can. They can eat chicken, beef, duck, lamb, etc. as long as it is halal & doesn't have/use pork.

I hope i answered ur questions! I apoligize if u didn't get the answer u wanted/expected.

And Salty, don't ever worry abt thinking that thequestions u asked me is dumb. I'M the one who's suppose to be worried that i spread the wrong answer/explanation-

[the-bau-quinjet]

Three Wishes

Summary: Request! Reader comforts Tony after a nightmare (but also some team shenanigans)

Warnings: some cursing, mentions of nightmares

Word Count: 2455

a/n: This started as a request and then somehow morphed into this weird genie thing. I don't know, it's kinda cute though :)

Masterlist

"If you had three wishes from a genie, what would they be?" You posed the question to the team just after finishing Aladdin. Looking around the room, you could see everyone's faces were scrunched in thought.

"Seriously, none of you have thought about this before?" You gaped at the room, questioning why nobody had an answer yet.

"In my defense, I have enough money to grant my wishes as I see fit." Tony instantly defended himself, earning an eye roll from you.

"That's not the point." You huffed, still waiting for anyone to answer the question.

"What would you wish for?" Steve tilted his head curiously. Despite the many trials and tribulations of his life, he finally felt he was at a good place. He was happy with Nat, Bucky was healthy, and seemingly nobody was threatening to destroy the world.

"Better be good since you gave us so much shit for not having our wishes prepared." Sam grinned, eager to start teasing you.

"Easy." You smirked. "Tacos for everyone in this room, margaritas to go with the tacos, and for this-" Lifting your shirt slightly, you pointed dramatically to the enormous bruise on the side of your ribcage. "Monstrosity to go away."

They stared at you slack-jawed, contemplating the wishes.

"Seriously? That's what you'd wish for?" Bucky spoke first.

"I could literally take care of all of that in two minutes, well, except the bruise." Tony murmured, already ordering tacos because now he was hungry.

"You don't have anything bigger you'd wish for?" Nat eyed you skeptically.

"Nope. Tacos, margs, and no more bruise." You nodded with finality.

"I could go for tacos and margs." Wanda commented, shrugging in agreement.

"Those are your three magic wishes? Emphasis on magic." Sam smirked, ready to tease you. "Wow, Y/N. You could've wished for world peace or something."

"World peace! That's mine." Steve exclaimed loudly, happy with that wish.

You chuckled at Steve's antics before responding. "Firstly, I didn't actually wish for anything, so fuck off with the mightier than thou attitude, Sam." You playfully glared at him.

"Secondly, I've seen enough movies and tv shows about genies to know it never goes as planned when you wish for something big. Why give 'em the opportunity to fuck up the world more. You wish for world peace and as far as you know, the genie wipes out all life." You eyes the team dramatically. "Ask me again tomorrow, I'm sure I'd have different wishes."

"You're saying no matter what, you could come up with three things off the top of your head that you'd wish for?" Sam smirked.

"Yep." You nodded casually, still thinking about tacos.

"I'll keep that in mind." He cackled, slightly maniacally. Steve's grimace and sure-to-come protests were cut off by Tony.

"Tacos and margs just got here. Let's eat!" He gestured to the food being carried down the hall from the elevator.

"God, Tony Stark, I love you." You muttered, rushing toward the tacos. Little did he know how much you actually meant those words.

-

Over the next few weeks, it became a challenge for the other Avengers to catch you without three wishes on your mind and ready to go.

Sam, of course, tried first.

"L/N?" Sam's voice called over the comm's, catching you off guard as you fought your way through three men guarding the intel you needed.

"What? I'm almost there!" You practically yelled back, running high on adrenaline.

"Three wishes!" He called back instantly, smirking to himself.

"Sam," Steve let out a frustrated sigh. "Now really isn't the time-"

"A family size bag of cheeto puffs, a new button for the flannel I ripped this morning, and a pair of cloud slippers." You didn't miss a beat, your reply cutting Steve off before he could fully lecture the two of you on professionalism during missions.

"Damn it." Sam mumbled, dropping the subject- for now.

When you landed back at the compound, all three of your wish items were waiting for you in your room. Despite your attempts at bargaining with Friday, she wouldn't tell you who got them for you.

Of course, that didn't mean you didn't have a guess.

-

A few days later, you were in the middle of sparring with Bucky, when Sam forcibly pushed Steve into the gym.

"Ask her!" He glared at Steve, who rolled his eyes before unwillingly mumbling the two words.

"Three wishes?" It was almost laughable how annoyed Steve was with the entire display.

You dodged a punch, crouching low to the matt. "A blue gatorade..." You kicked your leg out, sweeping it through Bucky's knees to knock him down. "A soft pretzel..." You grabbed his right arm, pulling it back into you at a painful angle until Bucky tapped out. "And an ice pack for Barnes's ass." You threw a playful wink at Bucky, Sam, and Steve before sauntering out of the gym for a shower.

Stepping into the kitchen, you were met with a soft pretzel, a blue gatorade, and a note that said:

Ice pack delivered to Barnes.

-

At approximately 2:37 in the morning, Sam and Nat burst into your room, startling you out of your previously restful sleep.

"Three wishes?" The redhead smirked at your confused, sleepy expression.

"A blanket that will keep me cool in the summer because I can't sleep without a blanket, a sweatshirt three sizes too big, and a bag of gummy melatonin so I can go back to sleep after you admit defeat."

Sam huffed, Nat continued smirking, and you went back to bed.

Unsurprisingly, you woke up to three new items sitting outside your door.

-

"Hey, Y/N." Wanda approached you casually. "What are you watching?"

"A movie." You sing-songed back in an obnoxious voice.

She rolled her eyes, plopping down next to you. "No shit. What movie?" She laughed at your indignant expression.

"Inception. I fell asleep, like twenty minutes ago, and now I have no idea what's going on." You huffed dramatically. This was your third attempt at watching the movie, after all.

"Three wishes?" She smirked mischievously.

"Chapstick, chinese food, and advil." You mumbled, rubbing your head. From around the corner, you heard Sam mumble a quick curse before stomping away.

Not five minutes later, the three wish list items were being delivered to your position on the couch.

"Hey, Friday?" You called after thanking the delivery person.

"Yes?" The familiar Irish lilt responded knowingly.

"Thank Tony for me, would ya?" You smirked.

"What for?"

"My wish list." You held your breath anticipating the response.

"Mr. Stark has no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course not." You laughed to yourself before indulging in the delicious smelling fried rice.

-

You decided, the next time someone asked for your three wishes, you would give exceedingly specific answers. Since Tony wouldn't admit to funding your little wish lists, you figured you'd challenge his dedication.

Luckily for you, it didn't take long for one of the two remaining Avengers who watched Aladdin with you to take his turn at catching you off guard.

You were trying to follow a new recipe for dumplings when Bucky and Sam strolled into the kitchen. It's never a good sign when those two are getting along, but you didn't even notice their entrance. Too engrossed in measuring things correctly, you nearly shrieked when Bucky spoke.

"Three wishes?"

Game on.

"A ring that will change sizes to fit whichever finger I feel like wearing it on, a phone case that actually changes color based on my mood instead of temperature like all those gimmicks out there, and a funnel cake from the fair in my hometown." You smirked, thinking about how Tony would meet those requests.

Sam eyed you suspiciously, but said nothing as he and Bucky regrouped on how to beat you at this ridiculous game.

It wasn't until a few hours after you finished the eating the dumplings and cleaning up the kitchen, when you were finally nearly asleep, that you received your wish list.

A funnel cake with your hometown name on the plate- just like at the fair, a ring that changes sizes, and a mood-based color changing phone case.

Glancing at the clock, you confirmed it was nearly 4 in the morning. You couldn't stop the thoughts from flickering through your head as to why Tony stayed up so late just to finish your ludacris wish list.

Without even stopping to put down your newly acquired gifts, you marched right up to Tony's lab. You were unsurprised to find the lights on, but definitely surprised at the lack of music blaring from the speakers.

"Tony?" You called quietly, noticing the greenish tinge the phone case adopted from your nervous energy.

It wasn't until you made it to the last bench in the lab that you found him, passed out with pliers still in his hand.

You purposefully ignored the phone case, now a vibrant pink, as you watched Tony sleep. After a few moments, you realized it was so captivating because he never lets his guard down. Always prepared with a sarcastic comment or witty quip, you've never seen the man without his defenses in place.

The peaceful mood was shattered by an ear-piercing scream. It was so shocking, in fact, it took a full 60 seconds for you to realize it came from Tony.

"Tony?" You gently called his name, wincing slightly from the volume of his cries. He merely continued shouting in his sleep.

"No. No no no. NO!" He was restless, limbs flying around him.

With more urgency, you called his name again. Then again, louder. It wasn't until you laid a gentle hand on his shoulder that he jolted awake.

Breathing quickly, eyes wide, he frantically looked for any sign of danger.

"Tony, it's okay. You're safe. You're okay." You continued murmuring reassurances until he began to breathe at a normal pace.

It was eerily quiet in the lab, the only sound coming from Tony's deep breathing and your hushed whispers of encouragement. You ran your hands through his hair, trying to find the right words to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You quested lightly, figuring you should at least try even if you expected him to avoid the subject.

"It's pink." His words startled you. Honestly, you didn't expect a response.

"Huh?" You eyed him cautiously, wondering if he might have finally lost his mind.

"The phone case." He clarified, reassuring you of his mental status.

"Oh...kay..., but Tony I meant the nightmare." You clarified your own words, trying to understand why he brought up the phone case.

"Did you read the card about what mood corresponds to which color?" He questioned, again ignoring your attempt to help him.

"I may have glanced at it." You dropped his gaze, choosing instead to focus on the speckled pattern of the tile at your feet.

"Pink is love." He declared simply, as if there were no ramifications to that statement.

You opened your mouth and closed it multiple times in an attempt to form a response.

"Tony, I-"

"You love me." He cut you off, watching with a cocky smirk as your eyes wided.

The range of emotions that you experienced were frustratingly obvious as you both watched the phone case morph into a tie-dye swirl of blue, pink, red, yellow, and green.

"What does that mean?" You questioned him, figuring it would at least give you a minute to postpone admitting your feelings.

"Blue is sad, pink we've already covered, red is fear, yellow is happy, and green is nervous." He easily listed off the colors and the corresponding emotions.

"Oh... yeah, that makes sense." You nervously chewed your bottom lip, trying to refocus the conversation. "But, Tony, really you should talk about-"

"Ah ah." He interrupted you again, earning a frustrated huff. Again, he gestured to the phone case. "Purple means your frustrated."

You let out an involuntary laugh. "Yeah, I could've guessed that one." Glaring at the man in front of you, you tried again to get him to open up. "Please, Tony, just let me help you."

A moment of silence had you questioning your life choices, almost to the point of running and never coming back, when he finally spoke.

"It was you." His voice was quiet. A broken whisper unlike anything you'd ever heard him say.

"Me?" You shook your head, still not following his train of thought.

"In my dream- nightmare. You were... you died and I couldn't stop it." When the two of you finally made eye contact, you were both surprised to see tears forming in the other's eyes.

"Tony, I-"

"Love me." He finished for you again, desperately trying to cling onto his charming personality.

"Yeah, I do." You felt a wave of relief at finally admitting it, but your nerves quickly returned when he didn't reply. "Tony, I can't promise you that I won't die, but I can promise you that it won't be your fault."

"Well, that's shit." He pouted, smiling when a laugh erupted from deep in your stomach.

"Yeah, I guess it is." You agreed. "But, that's life."

"I love you too, you know." He smiled, moving to pull you as close as possible in his seated position with you still standing. You moved a hand to his hair, running your fingers over his scalp again.

Figuring he had likely experienced enough mushy emotions for one night, you replied with his own familiar tone. "Glad to hear it, otherwise this could've been really awkward."

He laughed in surprise, squeezing you tighter in thanks for lifting the mood. When he finally leaned back, he whispered two words that finally stumped you.

"Three wishes?"

Your mouth dropped open, ready to reply, but no words came out.

"You know what? I think everything is actually perfect just the way it is." You lovingly gazed into his eyes as you continued speaking. "But if you mention this to Wilson, I will enact revenge."

"Oh yeah, what's that?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused by your response.

With a casual shrug and a tilt of your head, you reached over the lab bench for your funnel cake. "I haven't planned it yet, but know it'll be devastating for you." You made a face as if to say it was out of your hands.

"I guess my lips are sealed." He grinned, finally rising to press his lips to yours.

"You wanna share my funnel cake?" You questioned as you sat down in his lap, leaning your back against his chest. He smiled, resting his chin on your shoulder and opening his mouth for a piece of powdered-sugar covered dough.

"I thought you'd never ask."

Permanent:

@averyhotchner

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@strawberryspence

@sebastnstn

Marvel:

@leyannrae

@livstilinski

@justreadingficsdontmindme

[rayofsunas]

s/o is half-human, half-cat.

A/n: back to requests for a bit and as of rn requests are closed! they'll be open again when I finish all of them, I currently have 20 to do. ALSO, sorry for this being really late to the anon who requested this, I've been procrastinating + busy. I also hope you don't mind that I did Childe's s/o male and added Scaramouche and Xiao (Fem and Gn respectively). I added a bit of everything so everyone can hopefully read it/feel included (if this doesn't make sense cause I'm dumb, check the pairings lol). I've never written anything like this so I'm so sorry if this makes zero sense ;-; anyways, have a great day everyone! <333

Summary: s/o is half-human, half-cat.

Parings: Childe/Male! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing, nsfw (18+, implied, mating/heat)

Word count: 1.1k

Childe

mannnn, Childe has never seen a boy as attractive as you

EARS, TAIL AND ALL

omg, Childe thinks you're the cutest

like your soft kitty ears are just so cute

and he loves to tease you so he's going to pinch and pull at them a lot

if you're frustrating him and he isn't challenging you to fight (lmao he would) he's going to tug on your ears, because he knows it bothers you, especially if he's doing it roughly

your tail though is a different story

he's so fascinated with all of your cat-like features, but one thing he loves is your tail

it's not too fluffy, but it's fluffy enough that it's still adorable

you have a long tail too, and you wrap it around his

and like a male cat, you're going to mark EVERYTHING

you're still human, yes, but you still have cat-like features and habits

so sometimes, he finds that you'll come up to him and mark him

male cats pee to mark their territory, but you don't do that since you are still human (that's gross ngl), you'll just constantly rub against him, especially up near his neck

your scent is much stronger than a female cats, so it's much more pungent

and guess what? Childe doesn't mind it, he likes the smell. plus, it keeps other hybrids away (not that there's a lot, but you know)

he would mark you too, in his own way

he's not half cat, so he doesn't really leave a scent on you unless it's some type of fragrance he uses

all in all though,

and he has a lot of questions for you too, like how did this happen? are/were your parent's cats too?

tbh, you're going to get a lot of stares, lets be real

and people think you're a freak but he's always there to keep you safe if needed

"Leave my boyfriend alone, asshole, unless you'll face my wrath!" says it teasingly and it comes off sweetly innocent, his usual teasing tone, but he means it deep down

Scaramouche

he thinks you're very weird at first, like wth

why do you have cat ears and is that a tail at your rear end he sees?!?!

he's never seen a girl like you EVER and he's seen so many strange, questionable things

he's never met Diona before, so he just thinks you're odd, but hybrids like yourself these days are more common than he thinks

he also doesn't understand how this was even possible?!?!

like how tf does one even become half-cat, half-human?

nonetheless, he still finds you attractive, like wOw you're hot af

you're still a cat tho, so like I said before you have cat-like traits and such

for example marking your territory and mating

you like to mark him (he says he doesn't like it, but he's a fucking liar and we know this)

when you mark your territory, you lick his face/neck and he genuinely hates this ngl

it's the one thing he can't stand

even during intimate moments

he's like "don't lick me you brat."

but it's only natural, you need to do it

when it comes to mating that's an entirely different story

you're still human, so if you were to fall pregnant, you wouldn't carry a huge litter of kittens like if you were reproducing with a male cat hybrid

so, you would probably only have one baby at a time (the most being two; twins) but the second one is unlikely

you kind of miss the whole multiple children and big litter thing :(

Scaramouche's glad though, because he doesn't like children one bit

he's glad and doesn't hide it, big-mouthed bitch-

also, you go into heat during random seasons which kinda SUCKS for him

like, you wanna pounce him a lot when that happens whew chill

his favorite feature of yours is your ears, never admits it, he's a secret lover but he knows that you like them scratched

If you leave me alone while I do my work, I'll consider scratching your ears, hmm? How does that sound?

you're pestering him, he'll use the "I'll scratch/won't scratch your ears" card, and you will act accordingly

and you know what?

you're his weirdo, but if anyone else calls you that, he's taking it as an insult and disposing killing them immediately

no one gets to call you weird, except him

he's a bully but I love him

Xiao

pretty boy is confused on how you became to be a cat-human mix, but he doesn't mind as much as you'd think

if you're afraid he'd be indifferent towards you, trust me he's not

sure he thinks you're peculiar, but you're unique as well, more unique than any other human he's come across

and it doesn't change his love for you

plus, he thinks you're so cute :)

your ears are an added bonus that contributes to the cuteness

so fluffy, and soft and AAJDDBEHI

he blushes every time he lays his eyes on you, 'cause you're just that cute

he's going to refer to you as his "cute little neko" omg so cuteeee

he doesn't understand your biological nature, but he'll definitely try too

like if you mate, or are in heat, etc. he's trying his best to grasp those concepts

he's already touch starved so good luck (he's trying for the one-hundredth time!)

but if you explain everything to him, he'll get the idea(s) quickly

and he's not going to judge you at all. I feel like this goes against his characteristics because let's be real, he's a small judgy bb boy adepti and I feel like he already has assumptions about people/motives so yeah ANYWAYS

if you love your tail played with he'll often play with your tail lol, there's not much to say or deny about this

he will do it if asked, he'll do it without being asked, he just likes playing with your tail

he's not going to openly admit how cute he thinks you are or be so open about it that everyone knows how he feels about you, but you know and that's fine. that's all that matters to you

he will not tolerate people making fun of you, not at all

"what does their appearance have to do with you, small fry?"

like don't try to make fun of his s/o, he's not having none of it

he'll protect you to the ends of time ALWAYS

3.15.21, rayofsunas

[xiu21chen99]

hxh headcanon/imagine.

again... still about hisoillu but about their engagement instead of illu's influenced fashion choice.

also this is more of... idk it gave reason why they chose to marry instead of uh other ways i guess??

i've seen so many fanarts where illu would break the news to the zoldycks or how killu would react to having hisoka as his brother in law- like srsly it's meme worthy at this point- and lotsa ones that showed how hisoka proposed as a joke or smtg but... I've been overthinking abt it these past few days sO i present to you how i think "the big question aka the proposal" happened... (manga spoilers??)

it's after hisoka resurrected himself obviously, and def after he killed kortopi and shalnark (so he knew there was gonna be empty slots in the spiders' lineup)

i imagine illu went back to the zoldyck estate after the whole fiasco and only heard of hisoka's "death" from rumors while he was on a mission

and then when he was idk maybe contemplating on whether or not he should visit the body(?) to pay respects or something, he gets a text message from the devil himself

their text went like this probably:

hisoka: hey~ where are you right now?♠️ (and no u can't tell me hisoka doesn't text w card suits u just can't-)

illumi: who are you and how did you get the phone you are currently using?

hisoka: ooh~ illu~ i feel betrayed, did you delete my number?♣️

illumi: hisoka is dead

hisoka: *image attached*

illumi: oh

illumi: hello hisoka, how are you still alive?

hisoka: you sound disappointed~♦️

illumi: i kind of am...

hisoka: rude, just tell me where you are♥️

...and that's how they met up?? ngl i think illu has a know-it-all syndrome where he just has to,,, k n o w everything

he's curious so he agrees to the meetup ofc

he's also surprised when he sees hisoka is in good shape when they meet (idk at a bar in an unknown city?)

they drink whiskey on the rocks because... you know...

hisoka explains how he survived and his next plan of action (which is terminate the spiders)

illumi makes a mental note of nen after death bc he's heard and seen it all before but... not to this extent,

this is gonna be,,, bland but i think this is the logic behind why hisoka chose to get married/engaged instead of just paying up front (reference to the ten dons' commission to get chrollo killed and chrollo's commission to get the ten dons killed)--

anyways here's how their conversation goes:

i: "why did you want to talk in person?"

h: "oh y'know, for old times sake."

i: "...right"

hisoka laughs, "okay so maybe i want to ask you for a favor..?"

confused, illumi asks, "why could you not have just texted if you wanted me to kill someone for you?"

h: "no, no- wait, actually, you're not too far off."

i: ~mOrE cOnfUsiOn~ "huh?"

h: "how do contracts for assassination work in your... family business?"

i: "half the promised pay before, the remaining half afterwards. should the target be eliminated by a third party, the assigned zoldyck still gets the pay and should the employer die, then the contract is terminated and the zoldyck will report back immediately."

h: "and has anyone made a contract to have themselves terminated?"

i: "i beg your pardon?"

h: "what complications will arise should your employer's target be... themselves?"

i: "i believe... i have never encountered such circumstance before. the people who hire us are those who have enough money and resource to have their enemies killed quickly. no one's tried to test the zoldyck assassination prowess."

h: "so... how will that work?"

i: "are you implying this is the reason why you have contacted me today?"

h: "yes~ ♥️" (how he said a heart emoji out loud is up to you, reader)

i: "it will be a pointless paradox. logically, the zoldyck will only get the employment bill. and i, myself, do not find pleasure in going for the kill like you lest i get my reward, so you will not get a contract out of me, hisoka."

h: "is there no leeway?"

i: "a zoldyck stands up to their word. so no."

h: "even for a friend?~ ♦️"

i: "we are not friends, hisoka-"

hisoka raises his glass of whiskey along with his eyebrow.

i: "oh..."

h: "didn't you tell dear killua that a zoldyck didn't need friends?"

i: "you... are an associate, someone reliable in the killing world. it's different."

h: "hypocrite"

i: "i ask you for favors and you make me return them. it is not like we spend our time together leisurely like killu with that island boy..."

hisoka clinks their matching glasses of whiskey even though his is already empty, a shit-eating grin on his lips.

i: "you suggested we meet here."

h: "this isn't the first time we went out to drink, right illu?"

i: "regardless!! i will not kill you just for half the money. i do not like wasting efforts on fruitless missions."

h: "as i said, is there no exception, to make sure you get my money if you were to succeed in killing me?"

i: "are you doubting my skill, hisoka?"

h: "that's not the point right now~ ♠️"

i: "wait, why do you want me to get all of your money?"

h: "haven't we just gotten over this subject? because you're my friend, of course."

i: "i... we are not friends, hisoka."

hisoka claps, "that's it! illumi!! ♣️"

i: "eh?"

h: "marry me! that way in our prenup I'll make sure you get all of my money, and even without a prenup you'll still get it since you'll be my only relative! that solves it!"

i: "hisoka, are you sure death did not took a toll on your brain? you did say you used Bungee Gum only on your heart and lungs..."

h: "i'm being serious, illumi!! and doesn't this solve your earlier conflict? we don't have to be friends, we'll be husbands!"

i: "do not use that tactic with me, you manipulative bastard. stop joking."

h: "this is purely beneficial for you, honestly i don't get why you just won't accept it."

i: "then humor me this first, why now?"

h: "dear illu, i've been to literal hell and back. i think it's time to leave my mark in case i fail to escape death again."

i: "was it that bad?"

h: "you'll love it there, illu~ ♥️"

h: "on a more serious note, though, i do plan to marry you. out of everyone i've encountered, you're the most eligible candidate. you're powerful, fully capable and extremely pretty to boot! you're the ideal husband!"

(blushing obviously, illumi downs the remaining whiskey in his glass) i: "death has changed you, hisoka."

h: "so?"

i: "fine."

h: "excellent!"

and in one fell swoop, illumi has a pin against the curve of hisoka's jugular, wrist held tightly by hisoka- a card matching against his own neck.

"not yet, dear husband." hisoka whispered into his ear, "we have to manage the papers first. and i've a request before you do."

they let each other go at the same time, not even breathing an unnecessary breath in the other's personal space (well, they're nearly pressed thigh to thigh anyways, what's the point of personal space anymore-)

"a condition rather than a request, really."

"what?" hisoka orders them refills, and downs his when it arrives.

"join the ryodan first."

glass already pressed on thin lips, illumi's confused hum resonates softly into the concave utensil. "why?"

"so things can get more interesting. i assume you know of the dark continent expedition that's soon to take place?"

"father has advised i take part on it, since kalluto told me the ryodan plans to rob some cliches who'll join the expedition- to look after him. you want me to join them?"

"yes, and i plan to board as well, don't fret."

illumi's eyes turn to slits, "how should i know you would be there? i can't take your word when you might just disappear when we've all boarded."

hisoka grins, wide then wider, "you should know by now illu, i plan to avenge my wounded pride. that damned chrollo didn't even fight me properly."

tilting his head, illumi stared at the man beside him, "is that not contradictory? i thought you did not mind your opponent using whatever means necessary to win?"

"magicians use tricks and misdirection to awe the audience," hisoka says almost thoughtlessly, "chrollo's a narcissistic hypnotist who used the audience as a damned shield because he knew he couldn't handle me face-to-face."

he groans, tinged in regret. "i shouldn't have picked heaven's arena, if i'd chosen a more discreet location then maybe the damage won't be this bad."

"damage?" illumi rests his chin on his palm, facing his husband.

hisoka swipes a hand over his face, and the glamour comes off. the picture he sent illumi now present in front of him. he was missing a nose, his left hand didn't have any finger left and dried blood chipped on his white skin. "oh."

with another swipe, everything's made correct again. hisoka was grinning again. he downs the remaining alcohol and leaves jenny bills under the emptied glass.

"come, lovely husband. we're to elope and legalize our union!"

illumi follows suit after downing his own glass, "i think there might be another loop hole, if you were to join the family. zoldycks do not kill family."

"so if i were to wed you, here and now, you'd think me more of a family than alluka?"

"alluka is not family."

"are those your words, illumi? or silva's?"

"i..."

"wow, you're really just as fucked up as i am."

"where do you plan to take me? i've just said i cannot kill family."

hisoka chuckles, "then you're the one to take my name, of course."

"preposterous!"

"who the hell still uses that word?"

"i am and will always be a zoldyck-"

"exactly. it's just legal papers, if you kill me then you'll just be a widow and even get your name back! see how everything'll work out in the end?"

"hisoka-"

"are you doubting your skill of assassination, my dearest husband?"

"... i better get the most expensive ring in this damned city."

"that's the spirit! now let's go get married!"

"wait, hisoka. what is your last name?"

later that night, when they leave a chapel, something gold glimmers on hisoka's bungee gum/texture surprise ring finger. a matching one around illumi's finger.

unlike hisoka, though, illumi had an extra red glimmer right under that gold, in the dead center of a silver band of intricately designed pattern. hisoka had foregone the traditional diamond in favor of a 16 carat ruby engagement ring, such a curious choice but illumi accepted it all the same...

(much later on, hisoka took both rings as collateral and reminded illumi that he would get them back even if he died bc it was in their damn prenup- and bc it was technically bought under illumis name and that's how hisoka assured illu that he'd be on that black whale,,, bc he had the rings and planned to give them back to him there)

"I thought a red gemstone was better suited for the rather bloody and murderous ending that our relationship will inevitably come to, wouldn't you agree?"

-Hisoka Morow whenever someone mentions his preference of proposal ring...

"I disagree with most of his ideals, our relationship has always had a fragile foundation, and I knew from the start that we'd eventually end up killing each other."

-Illumi Morow, nee Zoldyck when asked about his thoughts on his husband...

[riseofarmy]

02 | SO THERE'S THIS MAGIC BOY

i can do this all day 02 | so there's this magic boy

author : @riseofarmy

pairing : kim seokjin x original character

words : 2343

i can do this all day masterlist

previous chapter

DARLING

What. The. Hell.

Before me stands a man I've never seen before in my life. He's barefoot, loose harem pants hanging low on his hips and an open vest doing nothing to hide his bare chest. The most startling thing about him though is his hair. It's purple, as in I Am The Love Child Of Amethysts And Lilac purple.

I don't get how I could've missed someone as stand-outty as him.

He leans down elegantly to pluck the lamp from the floor and my heart seizes up instantly. I have no idea where he came from, or how he got so close to me without me realising, but one thing I do know - this piece of shit is not getting away with my lamp.

With a swipe of my foot at the stranger's legs, I fell him like a tree. He shrieks, trying to pick himself up, but I pounce on him, sitting on the back of his thighs and twisting his arms behind him so he has to curl backwards to stop his arms from hurting. I pull out the twine I store in one of my pockets, intending to tie up his hands, but then...

He's gone.

As in gone-from-under-me gone, making me fall onto my back since the hands I was pulling have goddamn disappeared. Disappeared! Again: What. The Hell. I stare at the ceiling, trying to orient myself. He was right there and then he was... not.

"I can't believe you just did that to me, like surely you knew how that would make me feel."

The man stands next to my knocked-down body, bending over to look me in the eye. He flicks a lock of purple hair off his face with a lop-sided grin that might have been meant to make me feel at ease but instead makes me growl in irritation. I make a grab at his ankles, but I only touch them for a moment before my hands close around empty air.

That did not just happen.

Except it did. He's out of my arm's reach and fanning his face lazily as I get on my feet, eyes lasered in on the lamp still in his hand. He twirls it carelessly and I totally lose my mind, snapping forward to jump on him again.

This time, I manage to tackle him to the ground again and lock his head into my elbow before-

"Don't bother, you'll just tire yourself out." Suddenly, he's on the other side of the small room, a roguish curl to his lips as he lounges on one of the bigger chests of gold. He notices me twitch in his direction, and with a wave of his fingers, I'm frozen.

It's an awful feeling, like time has stopped, but only for me. There's an emptiness in my chest that takes me a second to place, but then I realise what it is - I can't breathe! Somehow, I know that my lungs have stopped working, my heart has stopped beating, that the only thing working in me right now is my thoughts.

And then he lets go of me. I suck in a grateful breath, flexing my fingers until I'm sure my blood's flowing again.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit literally what the hell.

"Please tell me you've calmed down." I flick my gaze up to find the strange man eyeing me warily. He has a better grip on the lamp now and isn't flinging it around like before, so I force myself to stay on the ground even though I was itching to take it from him.

"Who are you?" My voice cracks, but he didn't seem to notice. Instead, his expression clears up significantly into an overly bright beam.

"You know what, I have a song prepared for exactly that question, gimme a second to change." Before I can consider the ridiculousness of that statement, he snaps his fingers, and suddenly he's wearing...

Actually, what is he wearing?

He has on a startlingly white jacket, with odd, overblown shoulders, and a matching pair of breeches that were fitted to his body and made of a stiff material. The outfit was studded with what looked like diamonds, his hair was slicked back off his forehead, and the whole look completed with a set of short, silver boots.

I can't help it. Before I can slam a palm over my mouth, a snort slips out.

The man looks a little shocked, mouth dropped into a horrified 'O'. "Are you laughing? At me? Why are you laughing?!"

"You look... What are you wearing?"

He splutters, ears reddening so quickly they might just pop. "Do you not have any taste? This is high fashion, the result of a gorgeous marriage between class and art and I look stunning."

This man was serious! His hand was curled into a fist and he looked almost comically furious, but I just couldn't take him as anything but a joke.

Especially not when, a few seconds later, he lets out a scream and jumps onto a chest. It takes me a moment realises that the thing that had him currently shaking like a leaf was none other than... Yoongi.

Yoongi, my little furball cat, who slinks past the terrified man and curls into my bent form.

"Wait. Are you scared of cats?" When he doesn't reply, I have my answer. The man flinches as I stand up and step closer to him, eyes trained on the only-slightly-feisty ball of fluff at my feet. "How does this sound: you give me the lamp back, and I won't tell Yoongi to bite you."

At this, the man looks up. "The lamp is yours anyway! Take it! Just keep that thing away from me! WHY IS IT COMING CLOSER?!"

I stop moving closer to him, eyebrows furrowing - it seems too easy. I pat Yoongi's bum and direct him to the other side of the room before turning to address the man again. "You'll just... give it back to me? Then why did you take it in the first place?"

Now that Yoongi's further away, the man looks at me directly, throwing his hands up in what was probably frustration.

"Are you out of your mind? Seriously, did you get knocked on the head too hard before or something? Why would I take the lamp? It's literally yours? I can't? Do anything with it? Just? Take it?"

It was my turn to splutter. "Well- I- Alright then? I'll just? Take it?" It's strange to be talking in question marks, but everything about this situation is strange and I don't have the time to get hung up on the details.

I rush forward before he can change his mind, swiping the lamp from his hand. I cradle it to my chest, deciding right there that the next person to even glance at it without my permission is getting castrated.

"Can't you keep it away from me?" The stranger jerks his head at Yoongi, who was pawing through a pile of gold, completely unaware that he was the object of the man's derision.

"It isn't even near you and it has a name. Yoongi. He's not gonna hurt you."

"Mmm-hmm, that's what they all say before letting those monsters maul your face off."

"It's a little concerning how oddly specific that was, but Yoongi's not gonna 'maul your face off', he can't even catch rats. Anyway, can't you just save yourself by doing whatever it was you did before?" Before, when my body stopped but my mind didn't. "Um. What did you do before."

"Well, that's exactly what I changed into this incredible outfit to explain!" He gestures at himself, the diamonds throwing light around the room. "I literally told you I have a song prepared. You have a problem with that?" He adds in the question, probably realising that my face was twisted in disgruntlement.

"Can't you just say it?"

The man visibly deflates, and I almost take my words back. Almost, but not really. He clicks his fingers again and he's back in the harem pants and vest, then once more, and two plush armchairs appear. I think I'm already desensitised to things popping into existence.

"Sit," he gestures, plonking into the one opposite. "Since you want to do this the boring way. What do you want to know?"

I sink into the seat, half expecting it to disappear from under me, but it holds. Yoongi jumps into my lap, and I quickly look up at the man for his reaction, but he seems to have calmed down from his initial fear - he just purses his lips and avoids looking at Yoongi.

"I guess I'll start with... Who are you? And how did you get here without me noticing?"

He cocks his head. "Do you even know what the lamp is?"

I look down at my lap where Yoongi was batting at the purple gem in the lamp. I don't want to let on that I knew what the lamp can do, but something gave me the feeling the man already knew. "Yeah, it's a magic lamp. Makes all your wishes come true."

"Wow, it's so interesting that you think that because that's wrong."

Cue round two of me spluttering. This man did not just show up, out of nowhere, and deny what I have known for the last eight years.

"Wrong? What do you mean wrong, I'm supposed to be the only one left who knows about this lamp."

"And who told you about it? Actually, it doesn't matter, because sorry to disappoint you, honey, but whoever it was didn't have their facts straight. The lamp doesn't do anything, it's just a vessel for the real wish granter. That's me."

I blink, waiting for the punchline. It doesn't come, though, and the man cocks his head again, an amused smirk lifting his lips.

"Since you haven't figured it out yet, I'll spell it out for you. I am a djinn, a genie if you will. And since you freed me, you are now my master until I grant you your wishes." He furrows his eyebrows. "No wait, I've missed something. You know, my song was perfected to give all the information you need in the right order and now you've messed me up."

And then he starts humming something under his breath, bobbing his head to the beat in his head. "Oh! You have four wishes. And my name is Seokjin."

"What?!" Oh hell no.

"Yikes, what's with that reaction. Seokjin isn't a weird name or anything so-"

"No, what do you mean four wishes? I'm supposed to be able to make as many as I want!" If I can only have four wishes...

"I mean exactly that. I can grant you four wishes, no more, no less - not that anyone's ever wanted less. And before you even think it, you can't ask for more wishes." He looks at me sternly, as if it's something he's had to say repeatedly.

His words feel like a physical blow to my chest, winding me and making my brain blank. Four wishes. That certainly is less than I had planned for, but I guess it could have been a lot worse. I could have had only one wish, or I could have never found the lamp. Yes, thank goodness I have at least this many - I just have to make sure I make it count.

"Are you okay? You haven't said anything for, like, two minutes. I mean, I'm used to people becoming speechless in my presence, but you look more stressed out than in awe, so."

"Huh?" I shake myself out of my increasingly spiralling thoughts. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just... Wait, the ball!"

Only four wishes? This new stranger I'm apparently stuck with? Both of those I can deal with, I can find a way. But if I miss this ball then it doesn't matter how many wishes I have, I won't even be able to start with my revenge plan.

The ball, as in the prince's twenty-third birthday ball, which is only a week away. It was announced by the king when the prince was only ten: a grand ball open to nobility from all over the world. Even in Paaratham, the announcement sent tremors through towns because the prince was to choose his bride from among all the single noblewomen that attended.

I'm not from a noble family, and I'm definitely not a princess, but I'm determined to be the one the prince chooses.

The lamp was supposed to help me with that, and I had planned to wish myself into the kingdom after getting the lamp, but that's not an option anymore. If I wanted to get there in time, I need to leave now.

Immediately, I snap into action. I start stuffing my pockets with gold, since I don't have much more money on me, and packing into my rucksack the few bolts of fabric that were already tailored into clothes. The man - Seokjin, I tell myself - only stares at me, until I address him.

"Some of us can't magic up stuff whenever we want, so excuse me for snatching what the dead won't use anyway. Is there anything from here you want to take?"

"Me?" He looks shocked, probably thinking I must be dumb to ask a genie if he needs anything.

"No, the creeper behind you. Yes, you, is there anything you need from here? You have two minutes."

I go back to filling my pockets as Seokjin frantically rustles through the room. I don't see what he's getting but he seems satisfied when I call him to me.

Yoongi meows at him, obviously wanting to investigate Seokjin, but I pick him up and lay him on my shoulder. I kinda want to figure out this whole genie thing too, but I don't have the time right now.

Right now, I've got to get to the capital, Mansae. Everything else I can sort out later.

"Alright, magic boy. Let's get outta here."

i can do this all day masterlist

next chapter

[camilliar]

I've just reread ~get the wine pairings~ which is one of the best zimbits fics I've ever read and I was wondering if you're currently working/planning any new omgcp fics? I really love your writing 🙈

Ahhhhhhh wow thank you, there are so many Zimbits fics to choose from, and you chose the one I wrote while my OMGCP AO3 account was still a sock I never planned to link to because it was too many kinks pasted together. I’m very flattered. I’m still weirdly pleased with that fic!

To answer you question -- which I’m also very flattered anyone would ask? -- I've got two OMGCP fics that’ll be going up in the next, like, month:

You may have seen me insanely blogging about this AU where everyone’s getting MFAs at Samwell. In theory, ideally, I guess this would be like a loose collaborative series me and @tomatowrites both write in? (If she wants to/has time to?) I’ve very near done with the first fic in this series, like, one to five paragraphs away from being done and passing it on to a beta. It’s a PBJ sex fic set over Labor Day weekend; Bitty thinks he’s getting into one thing (group sex) but he’s actually getting into something else. It doesn’t get that much into the MFA part of things but I hope it does an okay job introducing the general themes around the Parse + Bitty stories in the AU? Lots of ???? because I’m just so excited about this entire thing. Please send me + Tomato asks about MFA stuff, I’m obsessed with and I want everyone else to be, also.

I’m also doing @omgcpheartbreakfest, and that fic is due on August 5 and should be posting ... a week later? Ish? Because it’s a blind fest I ought not divulge too much about it, but it’s an idea I’ve wanted to write out for a while, so I’m looking forward to finishing this over the next week or two.

and then OH GOD this list continues:

After those two I’ll probably switch gears to finish up this infamous South Park fic. Further afield, I did start an Ollie/Wicks fic that could be conceptually interesting but a) what is the audience? and b) do I really want to expend energy on digging into the tone and keeping the tone on point? More problematic is that these characters do not have personalities or even biographical information to transform into a story, so it’s tough to know what their relationship would even be like? I guess what I’m saying is I’m not sure if I want to follow through on this. Earlier today, actually, I took a look at it convinced I was going to scrap it -- but I also felt like there was something there that made me almost wistful for whatever conviction I had for this story when I started it. We’ll see where that goes.

Two big fics I have wanted to write in this fandom for a long, long time, like nearly as long as I’ve been in the fandom:

An AU where Jack’s OD is fatal, and a few years into the future his mother has established a foundation in his memory, to which she’s recruited Parse to sit on the board, which requires that he help fund the foundation. The foundation creates a scholarship for a hockey player at Samwell, and Parse is asked to advise the selection process, which results in Bitty being offered the inaugural award. The problem, however, is that Bitty is terrified of checking and if he doesn’t make it on this team, there’s a chance SMH might ultimately reject the gift -- and if this pilot program fails, Jack’s mom is gonna, like, have a breakdown. So Parse decides to intervene to make sure Bitty doesn’t get cut? Long story short, endgame Bitty/Parse, with the basic tension coming from what everyone’s lost if Jack isn’t in their lives: the team dynamic is totally different! Bitty thinks Jack is a selfish monster who ruined the lives of everyone around him, but Parse maintains that Bitty didn’t know him. The Bob/Alicia relationship is almost irreparably frayed and Parse finds himself in the middle of it because they both refuse to let him go! In a lot of ways it’s a story about Jack, although Jack is very dead for all of it. If done properly I would love to get into some of the tough politics around, like, money in US higher ed and some politics around wealth generally.

I have mentioned a few times that I want to write a “normal” not-edgelord Zimbits fic, and that would be an AU where Jack gets a PhD in history instead of going into the NHL -- so it’s basically canon-divergent from the start of Y2, where Jack decides that, for his own mental health, he can’t do professional hockey. The fic is set over the summer of 2017, at which point Jack is preparing to take his exams, write a dissertation prospectus, and start teaching in the fall. He’s at an impasse with his advisor, however, who doesn’t want him to write a social history of hockey because that’s a second book project, not a dissertation. While that’s happening, Bitty’s just graduated college and moved back in with his parents while Jack tries to find them an apartment in Boston -- which he’s having some trouble doing since Bitty doesn’t have a job lined up and Jack’s income is like, a graduate stipend. The conflicts in this story come from circumstances external to the Jack/Bitty relationship, and center around Jack’s doubts about his ability and desire to follow through on his stated goals, especially considering he’s deeply uncompromising. I’ve seen so many arguments that Jack would be so great at grad school or being a professional academic and it’s like, yes, in some ways, he would be; I can see him doing good archival research, or moving through the degree requirements in a PhD program, because he’s goal-oriented and willing to put the work in. But! He’s fucking awkward and so much of this field is just ... networking? Collaborating? Taking advice? Listening? Taking social cues? He had this idea about what kind of dissertation he was going to do, and why is he being told no? Can Jack take “no”? Can he adapt? A random woman has been showing up to his beer league games -- maybe this degree wasn’t the right path after all?

Then, all the way down at the bottom here, it’s like, I have sooo many incomplete Greerverse and lady Jack fics, many of them in the 500-3k range, but some of them in the 15k range, which is like, wow, that’s a lot of unfinished fic! The most profitable of these would be Jack and Bitty taking a 15-year anniversary vacation traveling around Europe for six weeks, which Jack unceremoniously kicks off by announcing a desire to transition--and then saying nothing about it for the duration of the trip while Bitty tries to work out how he feels about this, never mind what Jack even wants.

Aaaand last and probably also least, I’ve got like 15k each of an a/b/o fic I tried to write for Tomato and another 15k of a fic where a career- ending injury leads Jack to reassess his entire relationship with his body and therefore he winds up getting a little drag-curious, and it was fun writing about like, Jack moping around the house on crutches feeling sorry for himself, but also the fic has an OC who’s a big part of the story and I just didn’t feel that guy or care to write about him so I quit! Maybe I should scrap those things, along with the rest of this mpreg fic.

So that’s where I’m at ficwise right now! Who knows a) when the things further down this list would see the light of days, and b) which other crazy ideas will crop up that I have to write in the interim?

Thank you so much for asking! I love chatting about my fic, please ask any time.

[thelazyhermits]

Hehe XD I've been pretty free so i've been sending question after question but I'll be sending this question and one last one before I head to bed. This question doesn't relate to the Glitch but what Undertale stories do you like to read on AO3 (AKA your recommendations o(*^▽^*)o)

Oh wow, I wasn’t expecting anyone to ask me my story preferences. This is probably my fault for being lazy and not bookmarking a lot in AO3 lol I actually don’t do a lot of reading nowadays. It kinda just depends on if I’m in the mood to read and if I have free time. However, there are a few stories that I do love that I’d be happy to tell you about ^-^

Skeleton Squatters and the Landlady by @tyranttortoise

I’m sure this one isn’t a surprise to anyone. Who doesn’t know about this legendary fic? haha Ty is a fantastic writer who really knows how to write the skeletons. It’s her writing that made me fall in love with the guys, and she’s the one who inspired me to write The Glitch. After I wrote the first chapter, I was indecisive about whether or not to post it since I wasn’t feeling very confident about my writing. So, I sent her a message asking if she’d be willing to look at it and give me her opinion. She was soooooo nice! She told me I should post it and even beta read the first few chapters for me. So, the fact that the story is where it is today is all thanks to her. Thank you so much, Ty! You’re an inspiration to us all!

Skeleton Sisters Meet the Landlady by @nighttimepixels

Title look familiar? This story takes place in SSLL and has the Landlady meeting the female versions of the skeletons who were created by the lovely Night. Guys, Night’s writing is absolutely phenomenal. I wholly recommend you read everything she’s written. She also has a Mobtale fic called Speakeasy Soul which also super awesome. Literally, everything she writes is amazing. Her and Ty are totally writing goals. I wish to be as cool as them someday (☆▽☆)

Eight Skulls, One Migraine by @cracking-the-mind 

What’s so awesome about this reverse harem fic is the fact that it includes skeletons that we usually don’t get to see like Ink, Error, Dream, Geno, and Beasttale. This story is what inspired me and helped me to write Ink. I’ve seen so many different interpretations of him, but I really liked him in this story. It’s a really good story which amazing writing. I totally recommend it ^^

Postcards and Bad Decisions by @costumebleh

This fic contains several oneshots with many different skeleton/reader pairings. Costume is an awesome writer, so I totally recommend you check this fic out. I especially loved the Gaster Papyrus/Reader oneshot. Of course, I’m sure that doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone ;)

For my one non-harem recommendation, there is one story that I really love.

Befriend The Man Who Speaks In Hands by Spectascopes

This is a story where Frisk is living with Sans and Papyrus. They never left to progress further into the Underground. The three of them are basically a cute little family. Then, one day Frisk finds the door in Waterfall and meets Gaster. Once they meet him, they decide to find a way to save him. It’s a super sweet story that gives me all the family feels I so adore

Sorry this isn’t a very big list. It’s been a while since I started a new fic lol ^^’ Still, I hope you try these fics out if you haven’t already done so. They’re super awesome! XD

[mistake-messenger-trash-blog]

How would the RFA + V + Saeran pamper themselves? I've got the most lovely image of Zen getting a manicure, and 707 would definitely be the 'feel my legs i just shaved and they're soo smooth' person.

 Before anyoneasks.. yes, I did look up what the parody name of each company was in MysticMessenger (Noogle, NouTube, Moonbucks…), and I’m planning to use them since it’stechnically ~their~ world.

 Also, this came out waaaaaay longer than I intended it to, so the rest will be under the cut.

 Feel free to send in asks and requests!

~~~~~

Yoosung

   ● Yoosung is a broke college student, so anythingthat involves him buying himself some nice things is out of the question.

   ● But… he wants to try something different.

  ● From the Christmas DLC, it’s canon that Yoosung enjoysusing face-masks, as he had tried them on after being given them by Zen.

  ● So he asks Zen to give him some recommendations fordifferent cheap face-masks that would relax him.

  ● After buying them, he’ll go home and put anything thatwould stress him out of his sight.

  ● College textbooks? In the closet. Class notes? Wedgedbetween some books in a bookcase.

   ● Dick: out (I’msorry this is an old meme but I couldn’t help myself)

   ● He even hides his phone to make sure Seven won’t tryto call him in the middle of his me-time.

  ● I can just imagine Yoosung with his usual two bobbypins on one side of his hair and then two more on the right side to keep hishair from ruining the face-mask.

  ● After taking the mask off he’ll just stroke his facefor like an hour because of how smooth it is

   ● He’ll also try to pamper himself in smaller ways.

  ● For example, after studying hard for exams/finalshe’ll allow himself to have a day where he sleeps in, has his favorite foodsfor each meal, stays in his pajamas all day, watches movies…

  ● He’s the type of person to go on a Noogle deep-dive andend up findings some sort of NouTube video explaining the basics of yoga.

   ● He’ll attempt to do a few poses, but he has thebalance of a newborn giraffe and the flexibility of a stick, so he just ends uptumbling down to the floor.

 Jaehee

  ● When Jumin decides to finally give Jaehee somedays off, she promises to herself that she will make the most out of them.

  ● I imagine that Jaehee will go back to training Judofor a little bit, to keep the knowledge inside her head and her body fit.

  ● She’ll also go to some sort of tea store, where shebuys some fancy natural teas that will help her relax.

  ● Every day when she comes back from Judo, she’ll take arelaxing bath and then brew a new tea and accompany it with a plate ofbiscuits, before settling in to the sofa with some comfy clothes for the restof the night.

  ● She binge-watches almost all of the musicals that Zenhas been in, along with some of his singing performances that were put up on NouTube.   

   ●  Baeheeis probably the one to get pampered the most.

   ● By this, I mean that as soon as Zen hears that TheTrust Fund Kid™ has let Jaehee some days off, he immediately books a spaappointment for her.

 ● She gets massages, manicures, pedicures, facials…literally everything.

 ● Like she said during the Christmas DLC, she earns alot of money but she never has the time to properly spend it.

 ● So, she’ll go out to the shops and buy herself somenew clothes, shoes, accessories, and even some books that caught her eye.

 ● While she still has time, she plans out some ways inwhich she could take breaks and relax during her workdays.

 ● She’ll make a promise to herself to go out and buysome scented candles, so that when she has to come home to work, she can lightsome up and relax.

 ● In addition to doing all of that, she will go and lookup some recipes that are easy to make, so she can quickly make them for herselfwhen she’s working. 

 ● By the end of her well-deserved break, Jaehee feelslike an entirely new woman.

 Zen

  ● When itcomes to pampering himself, he likes to do it one day at a time and in themiddle of doing something stressful.

  ● It’slike deciding to take everything easy on a Wednesday and then continue workingthe next day.

  ● Likethe anon said, he will 100% go out to get himself a manicure.

  ● He’llprepare some comfy clothes for the day and he’ll put his hair up in a bun. (whata babe)

  ● He’llwalk in to the spa sipping on some sort of natural tea from Moonbucks,sunglasses on and his usual radiant smile.

  ● Eventhe straightest of guys are swooning over him like what??

  ● Whilehe’s getting the manicure and pedicure, he’ll still be sipping on his freakingtea, looking like some sort of Hollywood superstar.

  ● When he’sdone there, he’ll return home and just use like three facemasks and any andevery skincare product imaginable.

  ● At somepoint during the day, Zen will be angrily typing away at his phone with afacemask on while venting about Jumin Han.

  ● Consideringwhat his career is, he decides to rest his voice for that entire day.

  ● He’llonly speak when truly necessary (like when he went to the spa or ordered hisdrink).

  ● Sincehe’s also the mom-type of guy, he’ll look up some drinks/foods that help histhroat so that he can be fully rested.

  ● Duringthat day, he’ll force himself not to have any beer and not to smoke. Albeit henever does it incredibly frequently, today is one of the many days in which hecompletely restrains himself from doing so.

  ● He’llalso watch his own musicals at the end of the day…. It’s Zen that we’re talkingabout, what were you expecting?

 Jumin

  ● Eventhough Jumin has a lot of money, he’s never been the type of person to buy manythings for himself.

  ● He’svery humble when it comes to spending money on personal things.

  ● Though,when his father tells him that he should take a day off since he has beenworking nonstop and suggests that he does some things for himself for once, heagrees.

  ● Becauseof this, he decides to take Elizabeth the 3rd out on her little cagewith wheels so that he can walk her around the stores.

  ● He, of course,chooses to spend more money on Elizabeth the 3rd than on himself.

  ● Hepulls the little cage around with him into pet stores, where he throws treatsupon treats into a cart, as we all many gifts and toys for his dear Elizabeth.

  ● It’squite the sight, really. A six-foot tall man clad in a complete suit, pulling acage with a cat in it behind him, throwing any cat product that seems remotelyinteresting to him into a shopping cart, and a couple of bodyguards trailingbehind him.

  ● He gotmore than one questioning look, to say the least.

  ● When hearrives at his penthouse, he takes every product out of its packaging and letsElizabeth test them.

  ● Thepoor cat has to have her food bowl taken away from her because of how manytreats she ate.

  ● At theend of the night, he’ll simply have a nice meal and he’ll change into somethingmore comfortable.

  ● He’lllounge around for a while before settling down on a small sofa before one ofthe many windows of his penthouse with a book in hand.

  ● He’llhave some classical music playing in the background, preferably some pianoaccompanied by a violin, while taking a sip of wine every now and then.

  ● Otherthan that, he prefers to pamper himself in very simple ways, considering howhis attitude towards himself is.

  ● A walkin the park here, some light exercising there, a couple of minutes of staringinto his aquarium…

 Seven

   ● Afterbeing forced by literally everyone to take a day or two off of work, he agreesto take things smoothly for a couple of days before taking a full day off.

  ● When heactually takes his day off, he decides to actually leave the bunker,considering how he barely ever goes outside, and needs to take vitamin Dsupplements every day to prevent him from having a vitamin D deficiency. (Ihave to take vitamin D3 every day because of the same reason, rip me)

  ● He’llhave his headphones over his ears, listening to his favorite music while takinga stroll around the city.

  ● Thepath that he took “coincidentally” led him to a cat café near lunchtime.

  ● He boughthimself a nice, big lunch since he usually only eats Honey Buddha Chips and PhDPepper for every meal.

  ● Sincehe actually doesn’t want to be kicked out of the café, he treats the catsnicely, and even uses the laser from his phone to get the cats on a wild chasearound his table.

  ● When hegets back home (Seven you were only out for like two hours??), he’ll bein the mood to wear a dress, but his legs are hairy af, so he’ll make it hismission to completely shave his legs.

  ● He’llthrow on so much lotion that everyone is surprised he didn’t die of some sortof chemical poisoning.

  ● But hislegs end up being soooooooo smooth???

  ● He justruns over to Saeran with his pants rolled up and he’ll just scream “TOUCH MYLEGS”

  ● Saeran knowsthat there’s no way that he’s getting out of this, so he’ll just sigh andstroke his brother’s leg once…

  ● ….butomfg they’re so soft??

  ● Saerancan’t bring himself to stop stroking his brother’s leg (as weird as it sounds).

  ● Seven’sjust standing there with the smuggest look to ever be seen.

 V

   ● Thissoft bby will make sure to relax as much as possible.

  ● His carwill be completely full of cameraequipment. He’s more prepared than anyone will ever be to take a photograph.

  ● Itstarts raining? He has a waterproof camera in his car. The scenery is too dark?He has a lens that allows a greater aperture for the photographs. Nothing seemsto be in focus? Your boy has a camera with some lenses and filters that giveyou a greater depth of field. (Wow the photography nerd in me just came outI apologize)

   ● V willhave everything that he’ll be doing completely planned out.

  ● Sincehe’s constantly travelling around the world to take photographs, he decides tostay within the boundaries of his city, in order to ‘catch up with his roots’.

  ● Hevisits many antique stores and shops,as well as local vendors and artisans.

  ● C a n d l e  s to r e s

 ● Thissweet man will spend hours choosing candles to buy. He ends up with morecandles than he’ll ever need in three lifetimes, but the smile on his facewhile picking them out is so bright no one can stop him.

  ● If he’sin the mood to talk, he’ll drop by Jumin’s penthouse and have a long chat thatlasts until the late night.

  ● If Juminproposes that he stays the night because of the time, he won’t refuse, and thenext day he’ll continue catching up with what’s been going on in either of themen’s lives.

  ● He’salso very likely to want to stay inside for a while, so he’ll give himself sometime off of taking photographs and he’ll just stay inside reading some books.

Saeran

  ● Saeran’sused to doing nothing for the entire day ever since he moved in with hisbrother, so his days are overall pretty chill stress-wise.

  ● Wheneverhe wants to give himself a little treat, he’ll go out on a peaceful walk,preferably where there’s little to no people.

  ● He’llgo into an ice cream shop, where he gets the biggest cone they have in hisfavorite flavor.

  ● I alsoenvision him going into a candy store, where he buys lots and lots of sweets tolast him for at least an entire year.

  ● I hcthat Saeran is actually really good at drawing, but just doesn’t like showinghis art to anyone.

  ● So, he’llgo out with a couple of pencils and a sketchbook to some sort of forest orpark, and he’ll sketch out his surroundings.

   ● If he’s feeling extra artistic, he’ll even stay for alittle while longer to fully color the sketches.

  ● He’llprobably look up some sort of animal shelter that allows visitors to play withthe animals, and he’ll end up playing with all the different little animals.

  ● Saeranabsolutely loves looking at the sky, so he’ll drive to some secluded placewhere he has a view of the entire city, and he’ll sit down with a blanket towatch the day turn into night.

  ● Thestars will be his company as he watches them appear across the sky, every oncein a while seeing a shooting star pass by.

  ● Thoughwhen he returns home, Saeyoung keeps insisting that he strokes his legs forsome reason??