#Why can't they be as romantic as Thane or as cool as Miranda??

[sol-consort]

All human men suck except one (Kaidan)

[irikahkrios]

Kasumi, for the character ask game!

First impression - equal parts "hell yeah cool thief who can turn invisible" and confusion as to why her being dlc meant i couldn't actually Talk to her on the normandy like most of the other squadmates.

Impression now - one of the most likeable squadmates in me2, also super useful from a gameplay standpoint (especially early in the game; she's a fucking lifesaver in the obnoxious "close the shutters" part of garrus' recruitment mission).

Favorite moment - i really enjoy the ending of her loyalty mission, with her using keiji's graybox and getting to "see" him again and be reminded of how much he loved her, because i'm a sucker for tragic romantic stuff like that. also her popping up at opportune moments during the citadel party was great and fun overall, though i could have done without some of the uncomfortable sexual jokes the writers seemed to think were so funny (the whole jack and miranda conversation comes to mind)

Idea for a story - she should have gotten a mission in me3 that was actually Hers instead of being shoehorned into something that wasn't at all relevant to her as a character. i actually get to do this in my canon since i repurpose the "indoctrinated hanar diplomat" plot for one of my drell rebellion missions on kahje, so kasumi gets a different mission that's all her own. i like the concept of this mission being about helping her steal from rich assholes who are hoarding wealth and resources in this time of crisis, and giving these resources to people who desperately need them. i mean hell, she already is shown doing essentially this in the citadel dlc, i think it'd be really cool if the idea was expanded into a full mission and shepard actually got to help her do it.

Unpopular opinion - i don't know if i really have one about her as a character, other than the me3 stuff i just talked about? but re: her loyalty mission i wish you could have brought a second squadmate. i want to see my squadmates in fancy clothes, and also the combat on that mission is kinda hard and it would be a lot less hard with two squadmates.

Favorite relationship - kasumi/jacob is an underrated ship. i like the idea of it progressing into more than just her lusting over him from afar (or, more accurately i guess, lusting over him from pretty close up but cloaked so he can't see her lmao). i'm into the concept of them getting to know each other better and being brought together by the war; like, what if in my canon where kasumi gets her own mission, jacob's group of ex-cerberus refugees is one of the groups she's giving that stolen food and supplies to? and they bond over that? i dunno, there's definitely potential to grow this pairing beyond "she watches him do a thousand pushups and thinks he's really hot." i also wish we'd gotten more snippets of her relationship with keiji (but no i'm probably not gonna read the comic about them because i'm sure it's as bad as the thane/irikah comic and will just frustrate me)

Favorite headcanon - i've seen several people post headcanons about her and thane striking up a little friendship, and i think it makes sense. their rooms are right next to each other, they're both the "shadowy sneaky criminal with a heart of gold" type, and in bioware's version of canon they both are mourning their respective romantic partners. i definitely enjoy the idea of them as friends.

[sol-consort]

Okay, so you get to have an orgy in mass effect, but you only get to invite 7 people. Who are you inviting and why?

Also, what songs would be on the playlist for the event?

can i fuck one person 7 times instead? no? ok cool.

man i don't like orgies; I'm an attention whore, if I'm not at the centre of your world during sex then I don't even wanna be there

but if you put a gun to my head then hmm, I can't pick my favourites (Thane) bc I would get jealous over them despite us literally being in the same orgy. Oh you glanced at someone else? While giving me head? Death penalty.

I guess Garrus can come...and cum. Just not in me, shoo. Go finish on someone else birdie. Miranda unironically seems fun in orgies, def want her there, maybe I can pop a tit in my mouth or something.

I would invite Tali, but I'm worried for her health & safety. Likewise, I would invite Mordin, but I'm worried for my own health & safety.

oh, Javik, definitely! get some prothean protien in the diet. He'd make things interesting too, maybe treat it as his own personal harem rather than a communal orgy which is fine in my book, I don't wanna be the leader in this group project.

Jaal because I'm 90% sure angara and orgies go hand in hand. Plus it would be absolutely hilarious to see him interact with Javik.

It's never a complete orgy without an asari... but I fear Javik might antagonise her. No bullying allowed in my christian minecraft server orgy!

Feron bc there is no way I'm getting through this sober, at least one drell in the mix.

Drack.

this is quickly turning into a sausage feast, and I'm trying to think of women, but none of them would realistically agree to an orgy. Ashley? no way. Jack? Ha, not anymore. Samara? maybe in a cuck chair. Otherwise, her code says no. Vetra? Aria? Nyreen? Absolutely not. Any and all krogan women deserve a 1 on 1 heartfelt night.

Liara might agree...but I want to take her to dinner and have a romantic night alone instead :( She's my asari you can't have her! go away! get your own asari.

But PB? Yeah, she'd be 100% down. plus her dad is an elcor and yk how freaky down dirty they can get.

So

Garrus

Miranda

Javik

Jaal

Feron

Drack

PB

I think one person might die.

I could also just have an orgy with 7 different geth, Legion being part of them is very preferable but never mandatory. Have you seen how hot and tall the huge red ones are?

Or more preferably

Samara

Matriarch Aethyta

Matriarch Benezia

Consort Sha'ira

Aria

PB

Lexi

Because i am no better than a dog

I would also jump at the opportunity for a threesome with Admiral Hackett and Captian Anderson. You didn't ask, but I needed you to know this vital information. Thane & his wife seem kinda fun. Kaidan & James. Ashley & Liara.

As for a playlist, we're listening to Gangbang by Ayesha Erotica on repeat. Maybe the brat album if it gets stale?