#While I'm used to cemeteries built for the grieving

[perplexingly]

Montjuic cemetery in Barcelona

[matan4il]

a cultural question for you because I’m curious: here in the US, people dress up for funerals, usually in formal black for mourning. of course a lot of that is a holdover thing shared with England, and most Americans’ concept of a funeral would be people in somber, modest but nice attire in pews in a church. it’s true at Jewish funerals too, though. I noticed the funerals in Israel are much more informal, is there a reason for that? or is is just the norm? asking this totally respectfully, there’s nothing wrong with it at all!, but it interested me.

I’m sorry it’s a question brought up because of such unbearable heartbreak.

Hi Nonnie!

You know, I never realized this, but then I've only seen American funerals in movies and TV shows, so I couldn't know how much it reflects reality, or the fact that American characters even wake up in the morning, after a night of casual sex, with perfect hair and make up...

I would think the tendency to wear informal clothes comes from certain Jewish traditions, like how our dead must be buried as quickly as possible, so see sometimes get the news about a funeral being held on the day it's about to take place, which means not a lot of time for dressing up. Another thing is that our funerals are not held in our houses of worship. The living must be separated from the dead in Judaism, so our cemeteries are usually outside our cities and towns, while our synagogues are built within them. Another thing is that a rabbi doesn't have to be there for a funeral. A representative of chevra kadisha is enough. That means that while a funeral is important, it is not exactly a sacred thing. Judaism sanctifies life, not death, so even though death is treated with respect, it's not treated as holy, if that makes sense? It's a very fine difference, but it's there. Also, our shiva is different from a wake, in the sense that people come to comfort the grieving family all week long, so dressing up for it when you come by after work is not required. On American shows and movies, wakes are presented as an event, it's hosted, and the host must provide food to the guests and the right kind of space to gather in, while a shiva is a part of the Jewish muorning customs, where we grieve together, but it's the community that supports the grieving family, bringing them food, checking in on them if they need anything else, and the location is the home of the deceased, so there's something a lot more casual about it. All these things should affect Jewish funerals in the US as well. If it didn't, that might be an influence of non-Jewish customs, I'm not sure. I never attended a Jewish American funeral either.

Then again, the answer might also be way simpler than all of this: Isreal is a very hot country, and funerals are held in cemeteries, not in air conditioned houses of worship. It's hot, which makes formal dress a nightmare, especially for a funeral held in the noon and afternoon hours, as many Jewish funerals are. It's just practical to not come in formal clothes.

As you can see, these are my educated guesses based on what I'm familiar with. Thank you for giving me a moment to reflect on this, it was interesting to consider... I hope my answer sort of helps. If anyone feels like they can shed more light on this, please do! Have a good day. xoxox

[btelvin]

So...

So, since it's been a while, I thought I'd better put together something to explain my "disappearance".

A few of you may know that my only grandparent left, my father's mother, was in ill health and it's basically been up-and-down, then very quickly progressed downward. I worried about it so much I couldn't stomach looking at my dashboard or feed of any kind.

Grandma unfortunately passed away January 12th at 9:20am Central. I did my best to grieve when I could, and was able to work as normal while I awaited word about the funeral date. The funeral was held on January 19th.

She was buried in a cemetery basically just around the corner from the church, and arrangements were made to put her late husband's ashes in there with her, so now they're in the ground together. She lived to be 86.

I will miss her dearly. This woman was my hero, a pillar of our family, and a bright shining light for all of us and in her community. She was kind, she was generous, and the most welcoming woman I have ever known. She started a linedancing class when I was in my early teens, literally inspired by watching Oprah one day. Other people's lives were enriched by it as her class grew and gained regular members. It created all sorts of connections and friendships. I reunited with my old ballet teacher because she joined that class. (Yes I took ballet, but it wasn't for long, and I was 5 lol) She created her own linedances, too. It's the whole reason I know the song "Amos Moses" exists, because she made a linedance to it. It's a very simple four-wall dance that's very easy to do to the beat of the guitar in the song. We'd of course practice already well-known and established linedances, too. And you bet she learned how to do the Cupid Shuffle when it was hot!

After the funeral, we all had dinner at her house. The next day there was an evening bonfire complete with hot dogs, bratwursts, marshmallows, and all the trimmings for those plus smores.

We used to have bonfires out there when I was a kid. Big, huge, bonfires where we'd hang around, talk, roast marshmallows, and look at the stars. It's such a shame the city's so built-up in that area now that you really can't see any stars anymore. I barely recognized the way to the church.

It was great to see most of my relatives from that side there. A couple couldn't come. My sister couldn't. A few of my cousins couldn't. I did get to see some family I haven't seen in years, so that was nice.

It's still a shock to know that Grandma's not here anymore. I won't hear her voice anymore, or her laughter, or see what puzzle she decided to challenge herself with (she loved working puzzles, the complicated thousand-piece ones no less), or play cards with her again. I can only imagine the holes she left in my father and uncles.

I'm still not in a good headspace to be online like normal, but my friends here deserve to know what went down. If y'all want, dm me here. For those of you who have my cell, text me whenever <3

[thethief1996]

Israel has built a wall around Gaza. The wall encompasses the entirety of Gaza, built under and above ground, blocking access to sea, with movement sensors that detect whenever anybody tries to leave. The walls to Gaza are heavily patrolled and the entire territory suffers under a 40 year old blockade that doesn't allow food, inputs and construction materials inside. Gaza has become a gigantic concentration camp, built with the intention to trap Palestinians in a land where they will starve without water or food or be killed by constant bombings, without being able to even escape by sea.

Israel is not only a settler apartheid state, it's a genocidal state. They coat themselves in legal terms but not even the international community recognizes their constant invasions and annexations (this link is very useful and maps the annexation of Palestine since before 1948).

In their attempt to turn Jerusalem into an entirely Israeli city, settlers have vandalized the El Kurd home again, painting over resistance graffiti, and complaints resulted in Muna El Kurd being arrested again (she and her twin, Mohammed, were arrested in June with no charges and Muna was taken to the doors of Moscobiyeh, a prison well known for using torture, before being released). Settlers stoned a car with a resident inside and marched through the neighborhood carrying Israeli flags.

Besides that, Silwan residents are being kicked out of their homes with no previous warning by settlers, under a series of excuses, including owed debts and the building of an archeological site of the City of David. It's worth remembering Israel only grants 30% of Palestinian building permits. These people are homeless, children are sleeping in their cars as Israelis come with bulldozers and illegally destroy their homes.

In Masafer Yatta, they're building farms to expel Palestinians and annexate their land, with no justification whatsoever. Settlers have uprooted olive trees, during harvest time, and set free sheep.

They're digging up graves on Al Yusufiyah, one of the oldest muslim cemeteries in the world, to build a biblical park. The IOF soldiers have killed a teenager and withheld his body, a common practic that amounts to collective punishment to the grieving families, only to give back another deceased teenager.

These are all news from last month. I'm not saying this so you'll lose hope, but just so you're aware that there's a genocide being carried out. It's hard to imagine the suffering of these people because the media frames the natural state of Palestinians' lives as war, but picture yourself and your neighbors in the place of Palestinians in these news. Be loud about it, let as many people know about this because the status quo is to stand by Israel, unquestioning.

While all this happens, Miss Universe is being held, the contestants wearing thobes and singing palestinian folk songs, saying they're living a day in the life of a Bedouin, under the claim of experiencing "Israeli" culture. It's so insidious that Israel is promoting an event on besieged land and acting like Palestinians never existed, like their culture was invented by them.

Here are some resources on how to organize and keep yourself updated on Palestine:

Eye on Palestine on twitter and Instagram

Mohammed El Kurd on twitter and Instagram

Muna El Kurd on Instagram

Grassroots Al Quds on twitter and instagram

IMEU on twitter and instagram

In Brasil: Juventude Palestina Sanaúd on instagram

In Ireland: Irish Palestinian Solidarity Campaign

Follow BDS all over the world

A constantly updating link to protests around the world - if you know one that's not on the list, you can email them and they'll add it

A link to resources by Samidoun Network on instagram

Once again, don't look away from Palestine. Decolonization has happened before, with Argelia and Ghana and so many other countries, and within our lifetime, Palestine will be free.