#When she was with her ex gf she once said to me 'its so crazy that you know that. My girlfriend doesn't even know that' | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

megastarstriker · 4 years ago

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✰𝙃𝙄𝘿𝙀 𝘼𝙒𝘼𝙔✰

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{ℕ𝕀𝕂𝕂𝕀 𝕊𝕀𝕏𝕏 x ℝ𝔼𝔸𝔻𝔼ℝ}

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𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: Cussing and Drugs

Contains: FLUFF AND ANGST

𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Nikki Sixx x Female Reader

𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝘾𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩:

𝙍𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙙: by @metalheartofgold {Hey sweetie, I was so happy when I saw your request were open because I love your writing so much 🥺 So I wanted to request a Nikki Sixx one shot (Mötley Crüe) where he is protective off reader during a party in the Motley house. He knows reader's body has negative reactions to drugs, due to a condition reader had since she was a child, so when someone tried to force reader to take drugs, Nikki stood up for reader. (reader is his gf). Can you make it fluff and angsty? Please don't rush yourself,take your time and publish it whenever you want. I know us writers still have a life outside writing.thank you so much 🖤}

𝙏𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @metalheartofgold, @ginny-rose-sixx, @xxqueencolourxx, @littlemisscare-all,

💕 LOVE YOU GUYS AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANNA GET TAGGED 💕

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★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★ ──⭒─⭑─⭒── ★

MÖTLEY HOUSE , 1981

“Wow.....”

I whispered lowly as I looked at the whole crazy and wild chaos that was going on around me.

Sitting in the sofa I couldn’t help but feel a bit uncomfortable and out of place as I watched everyone having fun, as I held a drink of whiskey in my hand that was not entirely full as I wasn’t planning to get wasted unlike the others who were at the moment shitfaced from the booze they had. People from one side drinking or entering the apartment by the shattered window next to the door that gave anyone entrance to join the party inside and that was still left unfixed from prior incidents and on the other there was people making out or sniffing drugs that were neatly formed into lines with a straw or just doing a bountiful amount of outrageous and animalistic things altogether in a crowd.

I slumped even deeper into the sofa as I saw someone puke right near me on the floor causing me to cringe a bit in disgust and worrying concern for the person that did. Scooting away I held the drink that had a bit tighter, obviously uneasy about what could go wrong right about now. Don’t get me wrong I was used to this kind of thing mainly because my boyfriend was the one that held these types of parties along with his bandmates, Vince and Tommy. For Mick though not so much as he was no were to be seen along with the other two who were both probably doing there ‘normal crazy stuff’ as usual....

There was a bunch of girls who were doing drugs along with some guy that was currently staring at me, obviously interested in me. I simply of course shrugged it off and decided to pay attention to something else. I then saw my boyfriend, in the middle of the room, Jet black dyed hair, gorgeous green hues, a perfect yet devilish and sexy smile that adorned his handsome features that any woman or groupie would fall for, a well defined and muscular body that accompanied with his various sexy looking tattoos, that man was Nikki...

‘Nikki and I have been dating for quite awhile, after his previous bands that went to waste. He has also dated a few other girls before me and when we were still just friends. It surprised me how we were even a couple to begin with, even more when he asked me out.

We had things in common, like our love for rock’ n’ roll and other likes and dislikes as well, but different in our own ways. I was there to support him in every way I could of course when he told me about wanting to become a rock star...

I knew Nikki was into drugs and was overall a wild rock star when it came to the parties and such, but he could also be his loving self when we were both alone and told me everything because he trusted me and loved me in his own way when he tried his hardest to show it.......

But I on the other hand couldn’t because of my condition I had since at a very young age....

On our first date, I had let him known about my condition and the fact I couldn’t take drugs, which took me awhile to even talk about as I felt very insecure if he would actually judge and leave me because of my negative reactions to them if I took any drugs that weren’t good for me (those reactions could result dangerous for my body system and mind if I did happen to have them) considering many of my previous ex’s did when I brought it up to them, causing them to abandon me without any remorse for it....

He shockingly of course didn’t and respected me when I told him about it, quietly listening to me. But even now as he kept telling me that it didn’t matter if I had a condition or not that he still loved me, I couldn’t help but feel doubt and insecure about myself...and what he said to me....really didn’t help with the anxiety I had as negative thoughts started to flood my mind leaving me a bit depressed...even hating myself for the way I turned out to be.....as I watched him.’

Nikki was currently drinking a bottle of whiskey while also checking in on me every once in a while to see how I was doing, I never understood why he would considering I new how to take care of myself against anyone that tried to harm me or offer me drugs, but he was damn well stubborn and protective off me enough to not take my answer and leave, but he also respected my space and that I really appreciated from him.

He gave me a warm smile as his gorgeous green eyes met mine, I smiled in return to let him know I was fine, as he kept talking to the guy in front of him. Smiling and feeling a warm feeling in my chest as I did, I felt the weight of the sofa shift as someone sat right next to me and damn right- It was the guy who was doing drugs from earlier, currently eyeing me up and down, holding a small tray of drugs with two straws.

“Hey there babes wanna do a bump with me?”, He flirted as he held the small tray towards me. “Um, No thanks. I’m good.”, I said as I hesitated the offer ,my smile turning smaller each second I would stare at this guy next to me, but kept myself firm and cautious of the situation.

“C’mon, hun. Don’t be such a party shitter come have a little taste of this.”, The man said obviously very insistent as much as I declined. I d-don’t want any can you please stop bothering!”, I confidently said as I put up a brave front telling the guy to go fuck off, but then I was interrupted as he gripped at my hand tightly catching me by surprise and wince in pain at the tight hold he had on it. “Let me go you asshole!”, I said as I stepped on his feet with force only for him to slap me across the face, my cheek burning red and stinging from the impact it gave me.

“ You bitch, if you’re not gonna take any of this. Then why even bother be here. You’re just another goddamn lame ass whor-”, He said as he spat those words at me like dripping venom, I couldn’t help but cry my cheeks staining as my mascara also mixed with the salty tears that flew and traveled down my chin and unto the dirty stained floor on the ground.

‘What if he is right?’ If I’m just another fling to Nikki. Another one-night stand that luckily got to be with him longer than the other chicks he had banged. ‘What if he is just using me? And he actually thinks I’m a useless, miserable, pathetic girl.’ I thought with a heartbreak as I sobbed silently the tears and sadness increasing more with each thought, as I choked on my cries. ‘No I can’t think like that. I know Nikki. He is an asshole but he wouldn’t hurt me like that or in any way. Right?’

I then saw Nikki walk towards us both as he punched the guy square in the jaw ,at the same time he said those hurtful words, with full force as his face was contorted in rage and anger,” Hey! Get your hands off my girl, Asshole. If she said she doesn’t want any then get your ass up and leave.”

The guy of course wasn’t a coward but stupid enough to pick a fight with someone like Nikki,” What did you say to me, jackass-” The guy then got pushed onto the wall.

“Listen to me, dickhead. You either leave her the fuck alone and show some respect or get the fuck out.”, He said as he looked at him dead in the eye his green eyes cutting through his entire soul, as he gripped his shirt like claws prying at his neck with a dead glare. “Fuck you guys! I’m out of your lame ass game-”, He yelled at him pushing Nikki off of him, as he stumbled his way out of the scene, everyone around us was quiet, either whispering stuff, or looking at us in shock at what just happened right in front of them. ”That’s it.” Nikki then shove him away forcefully as he kneed him on his groin causing him to crouch in pain, only for then to grip him by the shoulders and push him towards the door and outside of the house, causing him to fall.” And I better not see your ass here ever again, motherfucker!”, He then closed the broken door as he said that not caring at all whether it fell apart or not.

I, of course propped myself up from the floor still crying from earlier, as Nikki looked at me his eyes turning soft with concern as he heavily breathed. Not wanting to say anything and feeling humiliated, embarrassed, even ashamed I quickly got up and left the living room, wanting to be alone and away from everyone’s judgmental view. I then went into mine and Nikki’s shared bedroom, seeing that it was unoccupied and that the bathrooms were being used at the moment for private reasons. I then made sure to close it as I sunk to the bed crying as I let every teardrop out of my eyes that I have been holding in for so long. ‘Why?’ I thought as I broke into sobs gripping at the bed with anger ‘Why me?’ ‘Why did Nikki pick me?’.

As these thoughts flooded into my I couldn’t help but look down at myself for being this way, for letting my sad emotions get the better of me and not fighting them off. For not being strong, but weak.

All I wanted to do was just curl in a ball, and hide away from everyone....

From the band....

Vince, Tommy, Mick...

From the world....

And From Nikki....

I then heard a strong knock at the door only for then to hear a voice,” (Y/N) its me, open the door.”, Nikki said as he knocked his voice reaching my ears. “Go away, I wanna be alone.”, I said in between breaths as I cried. “I’m not leaving you, Damnit!”, He responded only for him to re-correct his speech knowing it wasn’t going to help if he acted that way as he muttered a little ‘shit’ at his choice of words before talking again this time in a much softer tone as he leaned against the door,” Please....just let me in.”

It took me a few moments before I could muster the courage to open the door, as I opened it I saw Nikki standing at the doorway only for him to wrap his two strong arms around me, in a strong and comforting embrace. Startled, I then relaxed as it was only Nikki and not the asshole from earlier. I then cried into his chest letting every tear fall.

“Shit...I’m sorry, babe.” Nikki muttered into my hair softly as he rubbed soft circles around my back, trying to ease my breathing,” Don’t worry that crazy fucker isn’t coming back any time soon and I’ll sure as hell make sure of it.” Hearing this from him made me relax a bit but not entirely as I still had that thought in my mind.

“Nikki...”, I whispered quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“Yes, baby?”, He responded as he gave me his full attention and held me and separated me away from his chest but close enough so that he could still have me in his arms.

“Why me?”, I asked him sniffing a bit at my stuffed nose that was red and a bit stuffy at the moment from all of the crying I did.

“Hmm?”, He asked obviously confused as to what I meant by that.

“Why did you pick me?”, I said again in frustration as tears flooded into my eyes yet again, “You could’ve picked any other girl to love or use and leave me behind. You didn’t have to deal with a girl like me. You could’ve dated someone who was good enough to have the same life as you do. So why-”

I then was cut off as Nikki’s soft and rose colored lips met and connected with mine softly in a passionate kiss, not filled with lust but with love. I closed my eyes as I tasted the Whiskey on his lips A few seconds, later he let his lips disconnect from mine gently, as he then looked at me right in the eyes.

“Because I fucking care... about you, I don’t give a damn or a single fuck about what people think or say about you, me, or us. If any asshole has a problem with that they can either suck someone’s dick and kiss my ass for all I care. I know I’m not one to say corny and lovey-dovey shit like this, but...If you really wanna know why you instead of some other groupie or whore then.. fine.”

“You are ....someone important to me, and I ....don’t care whether you can do drugs and bumps or not. No person in this ...entire world can compare to you. Because you are someone that actually cared for me and for once has supported me when no asshole could for all my fucking life. Whatever that guy said to you was complete bullshit. You aren’t some one time thing for me and you will never be....”

He said as he gripped my face softly as he let his forehead gently touch mine as his eyes gazed lovingly in mine, letting out a few curses every one in awhile when he tried to tell me what he truly felt about me, knowing it was pretty difficult and torturing at him to even say as he broke his hard walls and cold front. This was the real Nikki.....

the man behind the stage.... the guy without the harsh exterior.... This was him....

My Nikki....

I smiled at him as my tears turn to happy ones, knowing what he said was truly genuine. I was shocked the first time he showed me his true soft and loving side, but seeing it now it didn’t really faze, rather make me want to love him more and further.

I pulled his face down for another kiss, his warm and tender lips meeting mine as we both lingered in the moment. We then let our lips depart as he hugged me tighter. He then pulled me to the bed, taking of his shirt to reveal and expose his muscular and toned, body along with his attractive tattoos that grazed and covered his skin and body. His long and strong arms pulled me to his chest as he peppered my forehead with small yet feathery kisses. Sniffing, I felt a warm feeling in my chest as I looked up at Nikki smiling a bit and having a funny idea a bit as the silence in the spacious room started to grow....

“Hey Nik.?”,

“Yeah?”, He asked softly as he propped his arm to rest and lean his head next to mine and face me as I saw his bright hues met mine, despite the darkness in the room and his messed up, soft and poofy crazed hair that was sprawled around a bit at his eyes, covering them slightly.

Laying down still looking at the ceiling in deep thought I felt a smile creep as I decided to tease him and whether or not he would get pissed off for it...

“Can you say that whole thing one more time for me?”, I asked him as I looked at him trying to hide the smirk in my face.

“Don’t fucking push it.”, He muttered with a bored tone his expression changing from serious to happy as he gazed at me, laughing....

“Sorry....”, I said as I scooted closer to him on the bed my laughs calming down as I reached for his warmth letting my arms fall on his warm chest and skin,” I appreciate what my nice and handsome boyfriend had to say.”

“Whatever..”, He answered simply with a sarcastic laugh only turning into a real one with a big smile on his face as he rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair kissing me in the forehead tenderly as he did.

Still smiling, I couldn’t help but say the loving words to him as I melted into his arms....

“I love you.”

I said in a hushed whisper but loud enough for him to hear as I cuddled with him, feeling each other’s warmth as we basked in the silence surrounding us in the room away from the loud and ruckus outside of it.

Relaxing into his embrace and feeling very comfortable in it I couldn’t help but feel sleepy as all my energy was left and drained out of me.

Whether it was the whiskey, his calming scent, or him right next to me, I hadn’t had a clue nor time to figure out as I dozed of into my slumber.

I then felt a tingle next in my ear as I swore I could’ve heard this last part as he softly breathed it into my ear in a whispering voice as he noticed me sleeping. With a small smile, he said...

as his rosy and slightly chapped lips parted and forming those words he never thought he’d said to anyone or to himself before nor he ever believed to ever hear them coming from himself or anyone... almost feeling like an illusion if he did say it.. almost like he wasn’t the one speaking it....as he said those ‘three damn forbidden words’ as he would like to call them, next to my soft ear in a hushed tone......

“I love you, too”

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{AUTHOR’S NOTE}: This was one of the requests I got from @metalheartofgold which was such an honor to write and receive from. Absolutely loved the idea and able to write it down here for you, sweets. I hope you enjoyed it, and that it was to your satisfaction, really. Love you💕

🖤I HOPE ANYONE THAT’S READING LIKED IT AS WEll AND LOVE YOU.🖤

IF ANY ONE WANTS TO ASK ME FOR SOMETHING TO WRITE WITH THE MEMBERS OF MOTLEY CRUE OR THE DIRT VERSION OF IT. HERE’S THE LIST FOR ANYONE THAT WANTS TO REQUEST SOMETHING FROM ME.

REQUEST LIST

💗{LIKE OR REBLOG TO SAVE}💗

#nikki sixx x reader #nikki #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x reader oneshot #motley crue #motley crue x reader #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx fanfic #tommy lee #vince neil #mick mars

166 notes · View notes

twiddlebirdlet · 4 years ago

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Inbox Collective Part II

hagarsays said: I don’t believe that cause if Chris liked something we would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans likes....... also people and photoshop shit

Anonymous said: well one thing's for sure this pr seems to be hitting, it has been posted everywhere and all comments are positive from what I reading , people like him obv and they love lily and no one is suspicious , the only criticism I'm finding is with fans because of the Corona thing (rightfully so), the general public doesn't seem to notice it, i think it's because the picture seem cozy and don't not flashy unlike sebastian

Anonymous said: I also don’t understand how ppl can’t hold their fave accountable like that doesn’t make you or your fav a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes, calling them out helps them realize they were in the wrong and hopefully allows them to grow to be a better person

Anonymous said: The like and unlike of the tweet coupled with these new pics of him looking at the camera is just so shady to me. Its not as if he’s had any bad press at the minute or really has anything to sell, so what does he actually have to gain from pulling a stunt like this at almost 40 years old? Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

Anonymous said: Is he still in London to be practicing lines with her

Anonymous said: I find it hard to believe he liked that tweet cause people can fake something like that all the time and you would have gotten a notification saying Chris Evans like something I didn’t get anything I just got a RT notification

Anonymous said: Don't know if I'm reaching here but Jenn Streicher sometimes used to do lily's make up but the last time I can find is 2016 so I don't know if she could of introduced them

Anonymous said: Chris’s Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Oh, Twid, you kill me!

Anonymous said: Seb took the pressure off of Chris cause he been seen with his GF without a mask and they are out in the open😂

Anonymous said: I’ve been seeing some people say he did this for a personal trip and they are dating. The paps were there coming out. What do you think about this?

Anonymous said: I know you won't agree with me but I think they are serious and talked before. I am not saying she's is soulmate but it's gonna last.

Anonymous said: So pretty much every article is running with the hot new couple?? take. And no denial from either side. I guess they're playing this game through? Just curious what you think, if the goal was to get buzz around their names, but they're not actually doing the dating thing, when would you think a denial would come?

Anonymous said: So idk who situation is way worse Seb or Chris cause Seb is out and about with his GF and they aren’t wearing a mask while Chris was with lily and no mask but it was at night so what you think

Anonymous said: Okay out there theory. Maybe CDAN was right it could of just been dinner and explains the very little romantic information we're receiving. I know in previous interviews the avengers cast has gone to dinner together out and about with little pictures. I think he's even just gone with Scarlett we just never got any photos. Thank God. And as sketchy as it seems I've been at friends house way later than 1 am and literally played games/talked. This could possibly be a set up or exactly what it looks

hagarsays submitted: I’m other news SEBASTIAN WHERE IS YOUR MASK 😷 https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fthesebnews%2Fstatus%2F1280541447570194432%3Fs%3D21&t=OWNjN2E2OTY3ZWNmODBhNDI3ZGJmODQ3MDRmY2YwYzM2Y2QxMWY1NSxjMmVmNzY5YmZjNWMzODIyNDY1ZDVmNDYyY2M2ZjcwMmE3YTNhYTAw Twitter

Anonymous said: Hello. I'm new to Chris Evan's blogs or fansite so this question might sound ridiculous. But why am I seeing so many people suggesting he or his team have staged things, especially with women, for the paps? I guess he never seemed like the type to me so it's all surprising. Also, in the photos with Lily he didn't seem aware of the cameras. However, she seemed very aware as she was looking dead at the photographer. She didn't seem to be trying to avoid it Thanks in advance for any answers

hagarsays said: Some people who where fans are leaving the fandom over what happen like that a really stupid reason they are acting like he did some bad that he can get arrested😂😂 like clam down people it’s not that crazy

Anonymous said: I personally think this was a hookup or a PR stunt. Even if they did get together in the hotel, I don’t think Chris would intentionally be this careless to let the paps see. Either way, good for them. If it’s an actual relationship, I’m happy for him. I just don’t see how it would work rn under these circumstances and them living in two different countries. Also, people are still going on about the condom. Like, who cares. At least he’s being safe if it was 🙄

Anonymous said: lily is so smart, first she calls the paparazzi to photograph her going to a hotel where she is staying and then the paparazzi catches her with chris, she is very committed to disconnecting from her ex

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in London or back in MA?

Anonymous said: Just Jared posted another article mentioning an old interview where Chris talks about dating actresses because of life shared experience. Considering that JJ is really celeb friendly, I wonder if this has to do with his team or if it's just a slow news day.

Anonymous said: ASP launch reschedules in 3..2..1

Anonymous said: It's funny how many people now are desperately trying to prove that Lily and Chris didn't sleep together because they believe he's with a certain engaged actress instead. Like Chris voluntarily left the event with Lily, got into a cab with her, and they went to the same hotel, but gosh, he had no idea this was going to happen and he is just shocked! They're trying to make it seem like Chris was utterly clueless and Lily was the bad guy in all this so they can still believe he's true to the tree.

Anonymous said: Chris just tweeted and deleted again. That is twice in 24 hours. I really need that gif where he says I am not angry just disappointed to be inserted here.

Anonymous said: Hopefully these "mask manips" will make their way back to "The Maskless Boy Blunder" like Scott & Yvette Nicole Brown was so eager to bring those acylics & bonnets manips to his attn…😒

Anonymous said: You are killing it, Mod. Case in point: “The Great Maskless Papwalk Stunt Adventure” moniker and the reminder of Chris’ penchant for overly melodramatic 90’s films. You are the best. Please insert appropriate self-congratulatory gif here.

Anonymous said: Someone left a comment under asp instagram post that Chris didn’t wear a mask and now that post gone.

Anonymous said: Did you read Lainey Gossip's article? She actually thinks Chris self quarantined for 2 weeks after arriving in the UK. Oh lord 🤦🏽‍♀️. He literally got there last week, and is probably out of there by now.

Anonymous said: What he tweeted and deleted?

Anonymous said: Ya what’s a little weird. I went on US weekly to look at that article and it was not on a top headline where news from yesterday was still on there. And it’s hard to find. Even US Weekly was like ya we aren’t getting paid for this nonsense. Haha.

Anonymous said: A starting point just deleted tweet and ig post. Yesterday Chris deleted his retweet. Very interesting 🤔

Anonymous said: ASP instagram just deleted post. WTF happening. Too much bad comments?

Anonymous said: Bets on Chris retweet new ASP tweet or not?

hagarsays submitted: ASP was 3 years in the making didn’t he just started interviewing politicians in 2019? https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fasp%2Fstatus%2F1280502252319449089%3Fs%3D21&t=YmEyZmYxMzMzYTkxMDNkMzdlNTdkMjFlZWQwZWNkOWFlM2Q3NDZjYixmM2VmZGE1NzhhNGYzZThmNjI1ZWNhYmYzOWEzODRlMWU0ZGRkZTI2 Twitter

Anonymous said: Her hotel is closer to the club they were in and nicer too. Why did she go to his and walk through the back while he took the closer door like i love lily she can do better. I read he did the same thing to Jenny even after they went public like i wonder how he even brings it up

Anonymous said: Do you really think he was there for work? Idk why I find that so hard to believe. Apart of me thinks he literally flew to meet her and had it papped. What are your thoughts? The flight isn’t that long from Boston.

Anonymous said: Is this definitely a pr stunt? Could it not be the start of a new relationship between him and Lilly whilst acknowledging it’s crap timing without a mask etc

Anonymous said: people know say that him was holding a condom he must be embarrassed now

Anonymous said: Flying across the sea during a pandemic, not wearing a mask, was wrong. But Chris is in love, again. He's been following her IG for quite a while now and their mutual friends (Powley and Cooper) probably introduced them via Skype, Zoom, whatever. It's been 2 years now, so he's more than ready for another affair. This will get really interesting once they start flying back and forth to be together. Should be fun watching this one - Chris finally has himself a Disney princess!

hagarsays said: Also I just realize this if they wanted to milk this PR stunt even more they would have made another plan where they meet up somewhere and look like they are having fun. I honestly think and I could be wrong this was a one time PR stunt cause as of now I haven’t see any fan pictures of Chris and fans from London know where he staying so that’s why I think he back home or maybe yet hiding 😂

Anonymous said: I'm the anon who mentioned that some relatives got sick during a barbecue. I wanted to thank you for your answer and say that today, my cousin told us that my aunt will be released from the hospital. The staff was sweet and sent pics and a video for my cousin.She stayed there almost 2 months.I couldn't recognize her. She is really weak and could barely speak at the video. She has a long road to fully recovery.Take this virus seriously guys.My aunt is young and had no health problems before this.

Anonymous said: Lmao if the anon is talking about those actors not doing pap walks, a lot of them have, esp when there was some controversy. And Tom Hanks had a whole affair with Rita Wilson. Like, some of ya'll are projecting.

Anonymous said: Literally in a crowded park? The group looks like they socially distanced and kept to themselves so let's not overstate things. People have been spending time at parks and not wearing masks since it's outside. Making assumptions on any "candids" doesn't work since you just see a fraction of what happened. Especially if we're assuming PR.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we will get a Dodger pic or a pap walk wearing a mask. Does anyone know how twitter reacted? I don't have an acct there, so I don't know.

Anonymous said: Do you think that Chris and Lily’s PR stunt really increases his chances of getting the Emmy nod? Cause although it might get his name in the media, idk if it’s a good look for his image or ASP. Plus, if he wants to be taken seriously as an actor and not be seen as just Captain America, idk if engaging in a fake relationship and traveling abroad to club without a mask will get the Emmy voters on his side.

Anonymous said: Not going to lie this whole situation has made me lose a little bit of respect for Chris. Also just seen pictures Johnny Depp in London and he is wearing a mask and think he came from US.

Anonymous said: I am Dumbfounded! Why is everyone still Surprised at Chris Evans Behavior? It is expected that he will do more stupid things than good. One step forward, two steps back. Oh! Make it three!! LoL and what is the basis of Emmy's for a nomination? By Being more popular and who have more exposure in press and media? Isn't supposed to be who have a better acting and who is a more talended actor? Which Chris Evans is Lacking? Sorry not sorry but he is mediocre at best. He needs Acting Workshops badly.

Anonymous said: I’m assuming Chris is back in MA about his deleted retweet. But that would mean he was in the UK for 3-4 days. He was also styled for an event (he never dresses that nice). I don’t buy into lily breaking up with her BF and then quarantining with him for 3 months. I think they are still together but it’s a bad look for her to just get back with him if he cheated. So her team makes her look desirable and having fun and then her and Matt will “rekindle” their romance (1/2) With her not even being papped in the hotel that makes me think nothing happened and it was a setup. Usually Chris’ team puts out an article for relationships. Which didn’t happen with (this) lily. I bet their will be announcement about her being in a project with him soon (maybe LSOH). And she will be papped with Matt. Chris is so private that i doubt that he would start doing this now. There’s too many places he could have been papped in the UK but wasn’t. Just my take🤷‍♀️. (2/2)

Anonymous said: “Sometimes what Chris says doesn’t always line up with what he does. Today is another example.” What do you mean?

Anonymous said: The club checks your temperatures at the door and it was reopening night. They have rules for people who can come there because of this pandemic. Why and who he was with? I don’t care but I hate that people are making it seem like he was in some nasty club with glow-sticks dancing to old rap music & ringing in the New Years then took a girl back just to fuck her. How ridiculous and presumptuous of people. Chris has his faults but he’s not a complete idiot.

Anonymous said: Did you see the IG post from justheretoruinlives literally it zooms in on what they portray as a condom. Lololol

Anonymous said: girl i think like you !! I see many say they already had sex just for being at the hotel at 1am? but we only know that she supposedly entered the hotel through another door? but in the photos she is not inside !! Also, don't we really know if it was that hour or not? DM is never as reliable as the medium! I also think PR but I want to think that this was more of her! We can only hope what Chris's team says about this!!!

Anonymous said: Chris is just blegh the past couple of months. ASP for starters. He’s going to get torn to shreds for it and rightfully so. No doubt he’ll slowly stop acknowledging its existence and cut the partnership in a few months. His quarantine interviews.. dude get some new one liners. Saying the same thing always. Trying to use big words so he sounds smart. He sounds pretentious and annoying. Then ignoring Rudd to scroll on his phone and constantly cutting him off.. BOO!!! I’m over his hypocritical bs!

Anonymous said: I’m trying to figure out why Chris would partake in this kind of PR stunt right now, though. It’s SUCH a bad time for that... what would be the purpose for it?? Not trying to be combative, I’m just truly baffled by it. Like, why??

Anonymous said: I didn't even watch his last interview I'm disgusted he's acting even younger than me and I'm mid twenties. This took attention away from all the semi-good things he's doing. I don't think most people are paying attention anymore. Megan is going to have to sadly clean this up if she didn't have a hand in this.

Anonymous said: Nobody has memory of anything serious he's doing anymore lol. Defending Ryan right? Sorry never heard of her. He reduced himself to tabloid fodder and it's disgusting.

Anonymous said: He’s been working PR for the past 8 months. He mad his insta in December, made it public in April (around the time of DJ a similar strategy they did for Jen A.), had a single but dating article in Jan. Has been doing nonstop press since April/May. Mentions LSOH in the last couple interviews. Follows Lily (June) and is now papped with her. Well played Chris, well played

Anonymous said: So does the timing of his tweet indicate he is back stateside? I noticed he followed someone last night (DJ costume designer) when it would have been the middle of the night or very early in the UK. He's probably back home.

Anonymous said: Sounds like she playing cat and mouse with her ex. Buying decorations one month then getting papped the next with someone new. Not saying it isn't possible to move that fast. But....if ex came a knocking she would probably ditch this pr blunder.

Anonymous said: As much as we tried to deny it, we knew Chris could be messy. I’m REALLY disappointed that Gemma Chan was with Lily on her maskless park romp the other day. I’m a big fan of hers and thought she was smarter than that, especially since she’s said a lot supporting frontline healthcare workers through this whole time. Really over this selfish behavior from everyone, both celebs and normal people. It’s just making this longer and harder for all of us.

Anonymous said: The thing is: Chris says he wants sth, but I doubt that even Chris knows what he truly wants. That's okay! A lot of people don't know what they want. What really bothers me is that he keeps selling the same narrative over and over again (cuz he knows we will buy them) and then do sth that suggest the opposite of what he states. C'mon man, be yourself and don't give a damn to people's opinions. It's better than contradicting yourself. Sorry if that doesn't make sense

Anonymous said: Mark Ruffalo is a national treasure. Take notes, Chris. You could learn a thing or two.

Anonymous said: Must be nice for him that he’s in a position where he COULD get a Covid test on demand if he wanted one (and I’m SURE he could). Even in my state, which is doing worlds better than other states, we have a testing bottleneck and also concern about supplies. People who are sick are having to wait. Healthcare pros and teachers and essential workers are having trouble me getting tested. I know I shouldn’t get so upset about him but it’s just really disappointing.

Anonymous said: Also if he knew he was gonna be papped why didn't he wear a mask. I think a case might be made for that as well. When he moved Scott no mask. Assuming most people wouldn't even notice probably and only one did. LA protest his most likely chance of being photographed, he had a mask. Even posted on his story. I'm just grasping at straws🤔

Anonymous said: She have an article on DailyMail every single week. So angry about this dumb decision to play a pr couple. I had a better opinion about Chris.

Anonymous said: Well if the artwork thing is true I can definitely see this being pr and her having no actual interest in him. But no pr can explain away why he endangered himself and others. I hope scott tore into him.

Anonymous said: I thought it was PR 101 to like not be in a PR relationship with a girl who calls the paps, and was rumored to be doing drugs in a park a few days ago. I feel like he has a better pool to choose from to be taken seriously

Anonymous said: Change of subject/pace: I wonder why Halle Berry thought she was going to do what they VERY PUBLICLY shut down Johansson from attempting not to long ago: play a transgender in a movie. If Berry wasn't paying attn then, surely her team was?? And now with JKRowling v Everybody... Maybe Berry thought her "historic" Oscar-win would protect/excuse her…???

Anonymous said: cya Chris! > I’ve watched all his interviews and imo he doesn’t come off as cocky but that’s just how I see him. I still think he’s a good person that needs to get his shit together. I hope everyone is staying safe

Anonymous said: I don’t watch his interviews. Can the other anon elaborate on how he came across as self-absorbed, cocky, hypocritical and dumb? I believe you, I just don’t want to do the work myself

Anonymous said: I had a weird feeling when him and Scott starting following her as well. Maybe it was because she was weirdly being papped a lot at the time where I would be like why is this girl getting papped

Anonymous said: The girl that was with Sebastian posted a pic of then two togheter on jet sky one day before the pap pics

Anonymous said: The thing that those pictures from Saturday but posted on Monday morning US time speaking it self. But I think this was planned from both sides. Lily could approved way earlier. I can’t wait for their next walk of shame pictures.

hagarsays said: Also his fans even said they have no problem with lily James and him being seen together it that he didn’t wear a mask is the problem but also they all moved on cause it’s so unnecessary to go back and for with pictures that’s where taken on Saturday

Anonymous said: Not to be that person...but lily was seen in a park with Gemma Chan, Billie piper, Dominic cooper - All not wearing masks. Her and Chris were at mark club which is a private members only place with a dress code and social distancing rules - no mask reg (check the site). The doorman wasn’t wearing a mask either. The UK seems weird with rules and while I don’t like it - I am not surprised. They DRESSED up but didn’t need masks. What’s wrong with this picture?

hagarsays said: I agree can we all move on cause we are all going on circles at this point and it’s making us all go crazy for no reason. So if there another major information between them you would know also if there a statement we would know too but as of now there isn’t

Anonymous said: Entertainment tonight, people and us weekly have reached out to there team for a comment do you think they will get an answer

hagarsays said: If I’m right he started following once he got his insta cause I had to look at something and her name was part of the 70 total following but now he follow 3 more people

Anonymous said: Chris does not even follow the director or any producers of LSOH on Instagram so I would not assume his following Lily is automatically related to the movie.

Anonymous said: Have you seen the knives out page? They blocked the ana de armas update page. Hilarious break if you need one.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work !! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so NOPE, no excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: And if he "forgot" his mask, I'm prettttty sure the luxury hotel or exclusive restaurant would've arranged to get/lend him one. Buuuuuut then we wouldn't have 50+ "candids" at different locales, angles, and postions, now would we...? 📷📷📷

Anonymous said: Asian Tree gal pal is Scarlett. She didn't have on her unique engagement ring in one of the grocery store pap sets (she's had it on in subsequent sightings) that might've given her away, and when dressed down with her hair pulled back she's no "Black Widow," and still managed to get ID'ed, so now excuse for Evans to not have on a mask or one in view.

Anonymous said: My opinion is she called the Pap but the plan went to the left with the back door. This is not coming from Chris he wouldn’t leave anyone sees him with out a mask in this pandemic. Even if it was just for the Pap walk

Anonymous said: I live in the UK, we don't have to wear mask, we do have to social distance though, u are allowed to be in a bubble, i wouldn't say a 4th of July fuck is social distancing or being in a bubble. I work with some very sick people who have had life saving treatment cancelled. Then u get people like Chris who do as they please for a weekend fuck😡

Anonymous said: Getting back to the Michael and Alicia thing, did they start as PR and end in marriage? Or is the marriage also PR? I know that sounds ridiculous, but I’ve heard it happens

Anonymous said: I wonder if Megan is like “sooo that backfired” LMAO I haven’t really seen a lot of positives hahah

Anonymous said:

I would like to know what's on Cris's mind now what is he feeling, if him regrets this “drama”

Anonymous said: I hope he does get dragged for not wearing a mask and I don’t feel sorry for him that he can’t retweet something without crazy comments. For someone who pretends to be smart using big words he sure is stupid sometimes. Also-did you see the Tom Hanks PSA...lol “I have no respect for people who don’t wear masks) I could care less about A Starting Point. Covid has hit so close to home with friends and family I’m just floored about this.

Anonymous said: If they use the “having fun” “seeing where things are going” language in the next article about them it’s a publicity stunt. Because those phrases are not only what Chris’ team has used in the past but it’s also what many other celeb PR stunts use.

Anonymous said: Maybe Chris deleted the retweet because he knows most of his fans aren’t happy with him right now so he’s rather lay low

Anonymous said: Sorry but does that anon have more information on Minka and Trevor? How do they know they’re dating????

Anonymous said: Surley if they were dating they would be staying in the hotel together the past week or so or however long he's been there, it's clear from the pics she hadn't been there with him before and had to wait to be let in, they would know who she was surley……

Anonymous said: Some of his fans moved on cause they know this whole situation is BULLSHIT and it’s all PR shit for the movie while other are demanding Chris to say something

Anonymous said: I just want to comment and laugh at you explaining to the other Anon what the ‘Dark Ages’ where. That’s the most appropriate and best description I’ve ever heard over that wretched and gross time lol

Anonymous said: The ASP launch is literally one week away. He should be promoting that instead of doing this. He's sabotaging himself. I don't really think it will affect the success or failure of the website itself, but it's taking away from what should be his promotional narrative. That's why I have a hard time accepting he'd play this game this way right now.

hagarsays said: Also if Chris is back home we would never know not if he was seen somewhere in Boston

hagarsays said: I really just want to know why do this like what’s was the reason was it because lily might be taking Scarlett role so they want to make a name for her so they picked Chris cause they know how his fans will react like I need to know😂

Anonymous said: Meanwhile Scott is on IG advocating for trans safety and rights. I think he’s a great advocate and ally and I appreciate the awareness he brings way more than something like ASP.

Anonymous said: lmao people are making assumptions though. Did you physically see him walk through the front without a mask? Did you also see the doorman without a mask? All of these assumptions are ridiculous at this point. People say it's pr so they get the pics then what? You literally don't see it.

Anonymous said: Those screenshot are from a gossip site. Also in the UK we call it snogging🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: Do you believe the DM that said they where making out in that person post you posted

Anonymous said: Just wanted to say thank you for being logical and realistic about all of this. I see a lot of people trying to make excuses for Chris and say this isn’t PR

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure lilly still lives with her ex. And was probably partying so hard to get over said ex. Then gets papped again with a new guy. It feels like maybe revenge more than her actually being interested in casanova over here.

Anonymous said: I think like you. I think mainly chris is there for work!! Maybe it's already gone or is it still there? in my opinion I think it was more PR of her than chris !! when chris has done a type of PR that involves that he spent the night with a girl? why many think that already !! maybe the hotel part was part of it? why is chris seen entering the hotel quickly?

Anonymous said: Considering how vastly worse Black people have been impacted by covid, anyone who tweeted about BLM but isn’t taking the pandemic seriously is a fucking hypocrite in my opinion

Anonymous said: Why would this trip's purpose be LSOH? It's not like Chris is involved in the making of it, i.e., producer, etc. Why would he be going to London to meet with Lily? I believe they've been in touch in the past month or so (email, DM, text, etc.) and he wanted to personally meet with her. Wait and see what happens after the launch of ASP to see if he goes back there or if she comes over here.

Anonymous said: God I hope Megan wasn’t... he would need a new PR team immediately.

Anonymous said: I don't see him settle down. I never felt this vibe coming from him even with all what he says in interview. I think I like the idea to be a husband and a dad but if he did it he couldn't hook up with women he meets in nightclub, ask their number to girls, go to strip club with all the freedom he has right now. I read often it's because he doesn't meet again the one but he doesn't invests energy, make compromises for a serious relationship for me.

Anonymous said: If I were the PR person arranging this, I would have booked Chris at the same hotel lily was papped at a few days and sold it as “they hit it off at the party and were staying at the same place, what they did when they got inside is anyone’s guess” leaves fans speculating enough without the embarrassment or messiness of her going waiting around a back door for no real reason

Anonymous said: Also wasn’t it teased that lily and producers wanted to do mamma Mia 3🤔

Anonymous said: I think settling down with a wife and kids sounds nice to Chris in a “maybe one day...” kind of way but it’s not something he’s eagerly looking for or trying to make happen.

Anonymous said: Being papped during a hookup seems way off from settling down to me….

Anonymous said: I’ve always said his settle down wife and kids thing was PR😂😂 either way this is messy and I don’t think they knew it would backfire. Also the US weekly and People article mentioned it could be for work after hours of the dailymail article and fans roasting him for not wearing a mask and traveling

Anonymous said: maybe him is having a midlife crisis

Anonymous said: I think that’s the big takeaway here. If it’s real it will never work. Mr. Boston ain’t leavin Massachusetts for anyone anytime soon and she is firmly rooted in the UK. I don’t dislike her at all, the opposite, I actually like her better than most of his exes, but as a fan of both, this just isn’t rooted in reality long term. I’d be all for the man having some fun if the rest of the world wasn’t on fire right now.

Anonymous said: Umm shouldn’t we not idk jump to conclusions until we officially know what happen between them

Anonymous said: Thanks you guys for making this MORE about these dated, sloppy (PR?) moves and his reckless UNMASKED/NON-QUARENTINED behavior. I'm glad this didn't turn into outright bashing her or needlessly excusing him as *certain* parts of his fandom does with EVERY tenuously linked female in his orbit. Business or pleasure, HE has more to lose in just goodwill. Our climate is MUCH diff than in '15-'17. He & this better be "handled" in keeping with our changing world/times, cuz it's short-sighted and tacky.

Anonymous said: HAHAH! He is not settling down. He is literally hooking up or creating a narrative he is hooking up at 1am in a pandemic. Clearly Dad Chris Evans I want to get married and carve pumpkins reputation and brand has flown out the window.

Anonymous said: She was with a man for 5+ years and might have been cheated on. In the last 7 months she’s been papped a lot and with different guys and looking like she’s having fun. Now with an A list actor. This is her team making her look desirable and her making her ex jealous. For Chris it’s getting his name out there more and pushing the bachelor image. He followed her months ago and I would be surprised if this was planned but I think it backfired and makes them both look tacky😬

Anonymous said: Get a grip! Nobody here knows Chris at all, none of us do. You can't say things like 'I don't think Chris would like this' or 'Chris wouldn't do that' because we don't know. All we know is the very carefully cultivated image presented to us by him and his team. We have no idea who the real Chris Evans is.

Anonymous said: This is all so messy and quite frankly embarrassing because it’s so transparently PR. I think they both made bad choices here - Chris especially since his penchant for privacy made me expect more from him. How long do you thing this circus will last? I was around for the last PR stunt so I’m not sure how these things go.

Anonymous said: I don’t think she’s any messier than he has been in the past. I’d like to think he’s changed but the reality is we have no idea. His last major relationship had its own set of bright red flags. There’s plenty of judgement to be had about the pandemic situation but directing anything else towards just her isn’t really fair. I know a certain faction likes to always blame the woman but they’re in this together, whatever this is. I see people already turning on her and it’s kind of obnoxious.

Anonymous said: more to that anon's point about her being super messy. WHY would he want to be associated with that messiness when he has seemingly worked hard to get rid of or at least hide his partying image? I'm not sure I'm phrasing that right. But my point stands. He wants to be taken super seriously for the whole ASP thing and I don't think this helps him. The only real 'winner' here is her.

Anonymous said: I really and I mean REALLY hope this was just a work event and they went for one night stand. But if he will do pr dating with her or he’s really into this young drug addict with messy relationship history Im out of this fandom. He says how he wants a family and trying to look smart using all those fancy words but in reality he’s a huge disappointment.

Anonymous said: To everybody who is disappointed at Chris cuz he seems to be acting different from the image he's been projecting over the last years: Mr. Mercurial has always stated his appetite changes a lot. Maybe this is just an example of it (yes, I'm being sarcastic) 🤷‍♀️😂

Anonymous said: Why are people making a big deal about separate entrances to the hotel? Most hotels right now will only let you in the main lobby if you're currently staying with them. I think you even have to make a reservation before you get there. Lily isn't a guest at the hotel so they aren't going to let randos walk through the main lobby.

Anonymous said: None of this makes sense. I can only see 3 possible explanations: 1. They met for work, but where so smitten, they hooked up (but how would the paps have had advance notice?) 2. They met on SM and planned a date (but he’s never invited paps to his first dates before. 3. They really are hooking up and he’s so insecure about everyone knowing he was single in lockdown that he wanted to broadcast getting laid to the world (maybe he’s more of a bro than we thought?). But why so cheap and tacky?

Anonymous said: “Do you think he may have taken her back to the US given that she has been living in a hotel?”>>>>>I think some of you might be getting a little bit ahead yourselves over this one set of photos.

Anonymous said: “after one date/hookup” No one knows the real reason they were there or together. It’s just speculation at this point.

Anonymous said: I think it’s his old suit.

Anonymous said: I don't blame you for not noticing, Chris follows a few random women. People were just focused on the wrong one. Nothing even indicated they had contact until the pics. Even though I wouldn't be suprised if most of the contact was through their pr agencies. Once again who is buying this random relationship/hookup.

Anonymous said: I don’t know anything about lily. What’s her reputation?

Anonymous said: You think him & Lily are a thing now bc he followed her months ago on ig? He’s not dating every female he follows tho. Maybe it’s bc of LSOH.

Anonymous said: Yeah those were the words I was looking for to describe this whole thing. Cheap and tacky. The right way to reveal something to the public is them going out and getting papped at dinner, something more romantic that can at least give the illusion of a potential serious relationship, not a party and back entrance of a hotel. It just looks so messy and dare I say gross. Don’t reveal a potential hookup even if it’s just for the sake of publicity.

Anonymous said: Cheap, tacky and irresponsible considering the current situation at the world. He doesn't have Marvel anymore. I was curious if he would take the path of the actors and actresses in HW. IMO, this answer it all. I know he used PR before but it used to be subtle. This is ridiculous and entitled, principally, because of the current situation, as I said before.

hagarsays said: The only people who follow Lily is a scott and Chris but Chris been following her since he got insta. But idk about Lisa and his sisters cause there page is private

Anonymous said: The funny thing is this pr date is getting alot of positive feedback. So I could see then dragging this out for a couple of months. The only people that see through this are fans🤦🏾‍♀️. I bet that if they reported this on the gossip news tonight while dragging them for not wearing masks, he would stay his butt inside until filming and stop the shenanigans. Which I doubt they will, but it seems tone deaf to report on Nick Codero. Then report on two idiots w/o masks on gallivanting around London

Anonymous said: I'm staying away from Chris's tag on Twitter because it a mess. Some are excited about the prospect of Chris and Lily, some are pissed about the international travel and being maskless, some are confused by the randomness of the whole thing. I'm just not sure this is the kind of press he needs before the launch of his political website and the Emmy noms. I hope his team puts a pin in it soon. Also, it's difficult to take ASP seriously after seeing his irresponsible behaviour.

Anonymous said: Something I find interesting is that in the people article they mentioned Chris and her both quarantining separately. I have no idea why they would believe anybody would buy this relationship. Even as a hookup it's sketchy. Honestly they should let it die. They couldn't even get the dates right on some of the articles.

Anonymous said: No one knew Chris was even in London so that sounds like PR to me. Makes no sense for it to be unknown he’s there & then pap pics get posted from this site who is known to stage pap pics. What else would it be?

Anonymous said: I don't think they were at a party though. The article says they were at the private club, and that's it. No mention of a party anywhere.

Anonymous said: Wasn't she at the front door of the hotel at first then went round to the back/side, how would she know all the doors to the hotel, I doubt this was their first encounter at this hotel

Anonymous said: Lily and her group of friends are known to partake in shall I say powdered sugar. That’s nothing new that’s been the talk of the town for years here in London. That group of friends are known on the party scene which is their right but I don’t find druggies to be cool.

Anonymous said: I’ll never understand how these things translate into award nominations….

Anonymous said: A bunch of outlets said they were making out but like I don’t buy it. This might come back to bite me in the ass but like idk

Anonymous said: Trying to think logical and the timing of pandemic and them both being in different continents, information and pictures in May that she’s back with her ex, before Covid Chris traveling between DC and Canada... How these two could be dating?... even starting as online would be a nightmare because of time in both countries. This ether a PR stunt or she called paps when he asked her to his room.

Anonymous said: I've had a real fun day today thanks to Chris. Like many of you, I've been at home now for over 3 months. I'm really enjoying this. I'm hopeful this will continue to give me some laughs over the next few months. I'm looking forward to her arriving in Boston, that will really kill the fandom :):)

Anonymous said: Am I the only one who thinks they banged? I’m not denying they were there for work but how realistic is she left after the phots

Anonymous said: maybe we'll see the “new couple” at the Emmys

Anonymous said: What’s happening in the Seb fandom? Do people think that’s a PR stunt, as well? And, you’re awesome, Mod. You keep things in perspective.

Anonymous said: I feel like all this nonstop discussion about are they, aren't they plays right into their hands and gives them the attention they wanted. Granted it's a small section of his fandom here, but I hate playing these games. In an effort to change the subject, I for one would love to hear your thoughts about ASP (whenever you're up for it of course). As a fellow Texan, I almost canceled Chris on the spot after he met with ted cruz. Gross.

Anonymous said: If you go on her twitter (Minka) she didn’t take her geo tag off she has been back and forth in nyc since Jan. Also spotted in NYC in March. And follows Trevors Manager’s wife on IG. I know that is a random follow but she wouldn’t just randomly follow his managers wife if she didn’t know her. Either way she has been in NYC back and forth with the geo tag and obvi not working and you wouldn’t stay with a girlfriend back and forth.

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s a hookup gone wrong or PR?

Anonymous said: Speaking of LILY 1.0: Biel pulled the same stunt yrs ago w the then "King of F-Boys," I MEAN Sparta! Broken up w Timberlake (over Olivia Munn?), well after filmimg wraps, managed to get pap'd cozy on a motorcycle w recent costar Gerard Butler, despite both wearing shades & helmets, being in traffic on PCH. Everybody denied everything, but Biel was reunited & ENGAGED soon after. IF thats what this is, Evans should be weary of possible "rebound n release" relationships by now, but we're here!🍿

Anonymous said: I hope he doesn't post about masks and protecting yourself and others because that will be even more hipocritical.

Anonymous said: Ok, I have to voice my opinion since it seems everyone else has -- he has been following her on IG for quite a while now, perhaps they have been dm'ing and decided to give it a try. We'll have to see if she shows up in Concord MA. It's just really bad timing though - a pandemic and ASP starting up. Is he really this stupid?????

Anonymous said: I can’t take ASP seriously from a guy who went to London to hook up and not even wear a mask, or a guy who did all of that for PR. He is a joke.

Anonymous said: If it’s PR I give to 3 - 6 months

Anonymous said: If he's back in the USA then that's even crazier to me. Why would he go to the UK for just a few days, whether for work or not? That would be a bit weird even if there wasn't a pandemic going on.

Anonymous said: This is almost as entertaining as Ben and Ana.

Anonymous said: With JS and MK it was organic and there were things leading out to them being together. This is out of the blue and with no previous indication of it happening. Also London is a long way for causal sex or even a first date. The fact that Chris is most used news sources say he’s there for work. It just seems like a very sloppy and thrown together PR stunt.

Anonymous said: Looking at lily's Instagram following list Chris is second on the recent list, do you think its possible they were both at the bar separately and met then they hooked up then she followed him?

Anonymous said: Valerie is crying in LA right now hahahahah

Anonymous said: There was rumors about Lily and her sniffing habits. People can google them self. Chris could find someone with a better image if he really serious about asp website and his own image. Remember back in the days there was rumors about him and drugs too. People who hates him and his politics views will use this info.

Anonymous said: Do you think with this Deadline interview is his team trying to change the focus

Anonymous said: Even looking at JS and Minka there was some level of affection and SOME discretion. This was lily Collins, Lucy Pinder-esque. I think if he would have been papped at the airport and then later at a grocery store with him it would have been different. Ben and Ana are believable because it was months in the making this is out of nowhere

Anonymous said: The only other movie besides LSOH that Chris is rumored to be involved with is Bermuda, and that seems to have gotten a lot less traction than LSOH. Would it be likely that he's already starting work on a movie that no one's even heard of yet?

Anonymous said: Someone on LSA pointed out that he follows Bel Powley this weekend and she was in the park with that group. She was in lobby hero and in the party with Pete Davidson last year with Chris. So he is friends with her and is maybe the link.

Anonymous said: Feels like bad timing with ASP launching next week

Anonymous said: This screams PR but for what I’m not sure but I’ll bet money that she’ll be announced as Audrey in LSOH.

Anonymous said: Honestly I hope this is real because why have you risking your life and being photographed doing it. I'm sick of celebs and pr. Even though Ben and Ana are hilarious and entertaining. I thought he would be past this at this point. It's disappointing and he knows it's nothing but drama. Are more people really gonna see the movie/visit his website/hype him for Emmy's cause he's dating/boinking lilly? I'm truly done with him

Anonymous said: It's sad with the number of years Chris is in this industry, with his pass with Minka and Jenny he didn't learn his lessons or is doing it for have his name in the media for a nom. I didn't see Ruffalo do it. He lives his life with his wife and kids and shared pictures from the set. If it's a pr romance or just for speculation Chris uses the bad way if he wants to be take as a serious actor. Very disappointing if it's that bc I don't see a rs between us when he was in Usa and her UK.

Anonymous said: Do you remember that girl that was papped holding hands with Chris and we never seen then togheter again maybe this will happen again

Anonymous said: I would like to point out that the taxi could have stopped closer to the hotel. Not only Lily did her "walk" in front of the hotel but Chris did his too. And if he went there for work, he could and should have restricted his stay only for work, which obvioulsy wasn't what happened.

hagarsays said: Wait I though lily is still rumored to be In LSOH it’s been confirmed now?

Anonymous said: if they be together and both on LSZH is just gonna add more rumors about Chris and his co stars and I don’t think is good to his career to be rumored with costar in all his jobs

Anonymous said: This trip might be work related (with a hook up on the side), but this very well could be the start of a relationship between them. The long distance works for John Krasinski and Emily Blunt. Maybe Lily will like living in Concord MA. They could have been having a long distance get to know you via email or DM and now are ready to go public with it.

Anonymous said: Wasn't Matt seen out with Claire during the time he was supposedly back together with Lily? I don't think their "on again" was ever confirmed.

Anonymous said: Tbh she doesn’t seem like the type to be going to Boston to hang out with him and dodger she just doesn’t fit that vibe imo. And he doesn’t seem the type to be going to London every few weeks to see her?

hagarsays said: Just putting out there regardless relationship or not it won’t changed how I feel about him I will always be his fan😂 BUT Chris your on time out for leaving dodger

Anonymous said: I’m glad he’s getting called out about the mask thing. That and the travel are really the only things here that bother me. I’m in a hotspot. I know people who have gotten sick. A friend of mine was forced back to work with the public and now she and her family are awaiting their results. I was heartbroken to hear about Nick Cordero yesterday. This pandemic isn’t over. I’m disappointed to see him blatantly flout the rules. I feel for the driver and hotel staff.

Anonymous said: I wonder if the hotel Chris is staying at only lets guests staying at the hotel entry through the lobby. I had to stay at a hotel for work and received a pdf that only guests can go through the lobby. If I was meeting up with someone they would have to wait for me outside. I also had to get my temperature taken each time. They wouldn't be able to keep track of all non-guests not staying at the hotel.

Anonymous said: Also these pics were on Friday and bars/pubs and restaurants were closed in the UK until 4th July they were allowed to open from 6am on the 4th. But hey one rule for the rich and famous and one for everyone else

Anonymous said: If they were together, and he flew down to London just to be with her (like some people are saying), wouldn't he at least have checked into the same hotel as her? This smells like a PR game or one night stand or something.

Anonymous said: Actually Tom cruise is the only person who doesn’t have to do the 14 days quarantine idk why but there an article about it

Anonymous said: She was pictured in different hotel couple days ago not the same they pictured Chris with her. So no they did not live in same hotel and was pictured together by accident. Also if she was staying there she wouldn’t go from the back doors.

Anonymous said: I think Chris has been in London at least since late June. I follow his twitter and he’s randomly for weeks posted at oddly early (EST time) - 6-7 am. Too early for PST, kinda early for EST quarantine. I wondered if he was overseas and saw on IG last week he started following Gemma Chan and other brit actors. I think he’s been in London (lowkey) until those pics since late June. I think he flew private and he’s been incognito until those photos. Basically - I don’t think he JUST flew in

hagarsays said: I feel like the more his team stays quiet the more it get worse cause so mine think Chris is the reason Matt and lily broke up so if I was megan I would put out a statement so everyone can move on already cause drying quite make shit way worse

Anonymous said: The funny thing is I actually like Lily James. I’d actually like them together. I just don’t like these circumstances or this timing. The quarantine rules are rules for a reason, I don’t care who you are. This is some BS I’d expect from a Kardashian or Trump kid. It’s selfish.

Anonymous said: My guess is that it’s PR with a lie pleasure mixed in….

Anonymous said: as much as people or US did not confirm that they are dating? and they are the font that chris uses !! I think Chris is in London for work and people say something with that !! I think it was an exit maybe as friends or just for PR for both of them !! dailyM is so exaggerated already by little it says that chris had sex with her in its headlines !! In addition, if CN is correct, maybe it was she who originated all this to generate people to talk about dating with Chris?

Anonymous said: To be fair on the coke thing it’s no secret Chris has imbibed in partying in the past. I don’t care what he or she do to party. I care that whatever they’re doing now is during the Covid crisis. I’m sure the masked attendant in the background would love to not have unmasked people gallivanting around.

Anonymous said: Agree that this has all the hallmarks of PR. Even if it’s real, she’s not as objectionable as some of his exes and she is age appropriate. It’s just the timing of things. For someone who tried to appear “woke” and has spoken of the seriousness of the pandemic, this isn’t a good look. I’d love to be able to go on my now cancelled London trip this summer with my friends. But I’m not a celebrity so the rules actually apply to me. That’s really the only problem I have with this.

Anonymous said: Considering the article were put online with such a small difference, maybe his team sent the same e-mail to everyone? Lol

Anonymous said: confirmation about their relationship > Media articles don’t know shit tbh half the time they’re labeling a relationship even when there’s nothing to be labeled

hagarsays said: His team need to say something cause right now people are going crazy also one fan was being rude and making fun of lily tweet is not there but this whole thing is just a hot mess

Anonymous said: If this all just PR it was a dumb move on his part. I see most of his fans calling him out or their at least not happy with him. And this could get him some bad press right before ASP goes up (which might also get a lot of backlash)

Anonymous said: Shit... it’s really happening... It’s gonna be a long summer guys.

Anonymous said: The US weekly article seems to suggest he is just dating around still. Do you think? The People article says it can’t contact his agent

Anonymous said: If they are dating they look like a cute couple I have to say

Anonymous said: Relationship? I don't think any article confirmed it. This sounds more like pr for Lily in regards to Matt. They even bring up their "tense" lunch/dinner or whatever it is.

Anonymous said: There are rumors SJ could be pregnant (though that rumor seems to be around a lot since she's not super-skinny), maybe that's why she's been replaced if in fact Lily will be Audrey? I remember Billy Porter basically confirmed SJ and Chris would be in LSOH, maybe back in April or May?

Anonymous said: From what I’ve seen Chris makes an extra effort to get to know his cast and crew so I wouldn’t put it past him if he went to London to meet up with the cast or just see things that are happening for LSOH. He just doesn’t seem like the guy to fly out to a different country for a girl he’s a real homebody imo

Anonymous said: It's still so strange that mere days ago Chris was all "Yeah, LSOH is on the backburner right now" and then like practically the next day he's in London, seemingly for work. And if this turns out to have nothing to do with LSOH then it's doubly strange. And what's going to happen with ASP? He's either going to have to do it from the UK or he'll have taken these big risks just to be in London for like a week. If he wanted to do PR for an Emmy, I'm sure he could have found an actress in LA or NYC.

Anonymous said: What pisses me off the most about this Chris nonsense it that I’m a nurse and we have so many patients new coming in and we unfortunately see them die. I really wished he wore a mask even if the UK said it was fine to be without a mask. Chris miss rona ain’t a joke she don’t care if you’re hot rich and young. I love him but my god it breaks my heart seeing people die from this.

Anonymous said: There was another daily mail exclusive about Matt and her quarantining together and back together. Close Friends was the source talking about their connection. Than they were papped biking together

Anonymous said: I agree with the anon that said the narrative from us weekly or people will depend on the reaction to this. Time will tell I guess.

Anonymous said: This has nothing to do with Scarjo, she is clearly out of the games. Lily James will be in LSOH, that' s why he started following her weeks ago. But I agree this is all a big staged mess. Who knows if it will turn into a real fling though. Drugs and alcohol, she is definitely his type.

Anonymous said: I agree with everything you said this screams pr also i did a quick search of Lily and she has been in the press so much the last couple of weeks with so many exclusives by the daily mail! She also checked into a central london hotel on the 2nd july and guess what its only 7 minutes away from Chris's, so perfect for paps to get there shot of her outside his hotel and her to go in and hide in the lobby for 10 mins then get a cab back to her hotel 👀

Anonymous said: “Chris never travels outside of the US unless it’s work related. In all my years of following him, I’ve never once seen him travel abroad for recreational reasons. It’s always for work.” THIS THIS X1000! Chris never leaves the US (or Boston really) unless it’s for work. I really don’t think this was a coincidence, there’s so many think that various anons have pointed out but this is probably the most important one.

Anonymous said: When did he done his live interview? He’s definitely less than 14 days in London so he really didn’t followed the rules.

Anonymous said: I feel like this is PR only time will tell tho. They may end up being thing but rn I’m leaning towards PR

Anonymous said: Hi! Sorry if this is a stupid question, but how does a PR "relationship" would help with the Emmy noms? Is it the fact that he is out there more, so there are better chances of voters checking out his work? That's the only way I can make sense of this. Thank you!

Anonymous said: If it’s just PR that’s worse than if they were dating/hooking up. He thinks an Emmy is worth risking his health and the health of others?

Anonymous said: "And Chris wants that Emmy nod to finally feel like he’s taken seriously as an actor. They both would greatly benefit from this being a thing. " Sorry but how you find an actor serious after he flew in a middle of global pandemic to go to a private party with an actress who have not the best image lately. It's definitely good for her but for Chris it's a different picture.

Anonymous said: It may be less irresponsible than it appears. Rich people have access to tests, fast-acting (hours) & reasonably accurate. Films are a business. Insurance is a huge factor. An actor’s carelessness during pre-pro would alarm the $$$ guys, I would think. Haven’t read much on how insurance is now structured during CV19 but if LSOH is going forward, then someone weighed the PR opportunity against possible severe illness that would cost $$$. And decided they were safe enuff to pap stroll.

Anonymous said: I’m the anon who asked about PR romance. So basically his PR people have him seem shady to get attention since bad publicity is still publicity? I mean to say, is this his PR persons ideas for him to do these things or his and they cover for him?

Anonymous said: about emmys Mark is amazing in his role he deserve win the show is amazing

hagarsays said: Honestly at this point his team needs to put on some type of statement cause it’s not going away anytime soon until they set the record straight on why he there and was seen with lily

Anonymous said: It’s just disturbing to me since Amanda Kloots husband died of Covid 19 last night and then this morning Chris is maskless traveling, staging pap pics. Like we are in a pandemic. If this was from his team, they need to be morally better.

Anonymous said: But now it's a bad image for Chris... Going to UK, partying, hook up with his costar... oh boy it's feels like early 2000.

Anonymous said: I was hoping he learnt from his past relationships with MK and JS but no. I am disapointed but more by the fact he didn't wear a mask. We've got lots of people who are sick in Europe

Anonymous said: Not saying it’s not possible but I don’t think Chris into online dating, so this looks like pr for me. They didn’t see each other for months before last night. I hope Megan will think something smart and we didn’t see new couple alert.

Anonymous said: I feel like we only get paparazzi photos of Chris when it PR and have been called. You have never of known that he was in London other wise.

Anonymous said: This club (Marks) is not a nightclub. It’s basically like any media members club. People have meetings, sociales, eat and drink. It quite formal. You can hire it, or part of it out for meetings and events. So this is definitely work based. The hotel? I don’t know. Would CE hook up with an actress he may be working with straight away maybe? But it think not.

Anonymous said: i feel like this isn't the right time for them to do promo, it makes them both look like assholes

Anonymous said: The place they went to isn't a night club. It's a private club with very strict covid-19 rules. It's members and invite only. They have private rooms and limited staff during the pandemic. They have a thermal imaging thingy to check temperatures as well. So he wasn't around the general public or strangers. Read up on Mark's Club.

Anonymous said: It’s funny how some fans give him and Lily a pass because she’s pretty. Just wait while they found pictures of her wasted from last week. This is not a good look for a “politician” Chris.

Anonymous said: I hope he stays at quarentene when he comes back. The right thing to do was to not travel at all but since he was irresponsible enough for that, I can only hope he be responsible when he comes back, for his family.

Anonymous said: Take a step back and look how Chris is dress. He is usually casual for parties and hookups (Jenny, Minka) this instance he has been styled. He’s is currently on a Emmy campaign and has been in the us since forever. He followed lily months ago. Then these pics were specifically released to the dailymail (a UK based gossip site). And the paps just so happen to there at the right place and right time. Yeah they could be doing it but Chris is WAY more sneaky that this.

Anonymous said: LMAO. His staged pap walk got foiled by getting locked out of the hotel. How embarrassing. 😂😂 Chris Chris Chris don’t you know these stunts backfire?

Anonymous said: Seeing the pic of Stan at the yatch with the staff wearing masks and then seeing the pics of Chris with the employee of the hotel wearing a mask is practically a deja vú. I don't think this is good PR but of course people will run to defend him and ship them.

Anonymous said: Lily still share the house with her ex

Anonymous said: If this is PR it’s stupid and lazy. Another (British) Lily in an on again/off again relationship who will probably rekindle her romance with her ex in a few weeks. And, who runs his PR? Partying and implied hotel sex during a pandemic is not a good look. At least in Seb’s case, it looked like he was dating his girl. This looks like a hookup with a potential co-star. What, did they get tested just so they could sleep together (if that’s the narrative)?

Anonymous said: The photos where taken on Saturday night but are only been posted Monday afternoon.

Anonymous said: So can we wait for a pic of Dogder? If people calls out him on twitter, chances are there will be a new pic.

Anonymous said: I don't care if it's real or it's PR. It's stupid and reckless. He is travelling and walking maskless in the country in Europe with more deaths by covid and during a pandemic that killed more than 100.000 americans and thousands of people around the world. And yes, I am calling out Chris, as I am calling out people around me. Just because governments are putting less restrictions because of money and economy, doesn't mean we all should act as if nothig is happening.

Anonymous said: now I think that chris definelly follow women that he is interested and maybe slide in her dms

Anonymous said: Some people think they called the paps to put out an an official announcement about their relationship soon. Also, did Scott go with Chris to London? Or did he start following her after he saw the pap pics?

Anonymous said: **THANOS SNAP!** and the fandom's in a tailspin cuz he's done everything all at once! Travelled into a RECENTLY former pandemic "hotspot," "caught" with a "usual suspect (wht female, 30s, brunette, relationship status: complicated 😏)," pics framed like a pre-walk-of-shame (also that shitty site's M.O. - which had pics Fri but waited til Mon to release 😉), DAMN plebeian rules! = no mask or courtesy 2wk self-quarantine. So sensational...& stupid. Now: ASP who? But let's sit n sip together. 🕵🍿☕

Anonymous said: Guess ASP and serious smart guy image not his priority anymore. Rumors about dating his costars like in his twenties more interesting to his team. Sorry Megan but it’s not the right time for this bullshit.

Anonymous said: Also with it being a PR thing, surely this is not the Image he wants out there. Travelling to the UK, going to a party and hooking up all during a pandemic. I live in the UK and things are a mess here at the moment. I would not be heading out like that

Anonymous said: No masks, she was in DA with Michelle. He’s not normally one to get caught with a woman when he’s out with one (cause we know he’s no monk). Time will tell

Anonymous said: Gemma who?

Anonymous said: I mean considering in May she got back together with Matt Smith idk what to think. Also hook up fine but I don’t think this girl is moving to Boston having 4 kids and being his wife at home...I’m not taking this seriously.

Anonymous said: I just need to vent. So I apologize in advance but Chris is an idiot. I just saw the photos of him & Lily James that were allegedly taken friday on the Daily Mail site. And I am angry. Not because he is doing whatever with whoever but because he decides to go London & walk around without a mask, the day that all the pubs and clubs reopened. Like I said. He is an idiot. I truly thought he had more brains due to the fact that he was wearing one while he was in LA. Again, I'm sorry for the vent.

8 notes · View notes

hellreads · 5 years ago

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Hi! Can you suggest some good immersive fics that will make me feel all the feels? Even better if they're series! Thank you I love your blog!!

hi there sweetie, thank you for loving this blog, lemme love you too!💕💖✨ hmm this is tricky, to ask me of all people for immersive fic recommendations because I always immerse (to me reading something I enjoy and immersing in it makes me feel like I’m an actress playing the part so whatever genre it is watch me get into it 100%) but I’ll try and make a list of fics one per member, where I immersed myself through and through (shit this is harder than I thought, btw WII stands for why I immersed lol ~ list under the cut) 😅 | 🍒

➴ Kim Namjoon❥ Let the Villain Win by @lemonjoonah➴ Author/Yandere!AU | Author!Namjoon x Agent!Reader | One-Shot➴ Kim Namjoon, famous author and your childhood friend has been keeping a secret from you. His new book treads on such dark themes that he’s finding it difficult to write. Excited by the prospect of a sinister plot you offer him a piece of advice, “Let the villain win…”➴ WII: I love Misery by Stephen King plus its movie adaption and LTVW gave me reverse Misery vibes, I know most people wouldn’t want to put themselves or immerse into stories like this but the adrenaline rush of being in MC’s shoes? delicious, I felt like as soon as Namjoon’s plan came to fruition my body astral projected to see him in all his yandere glory.

➴ Kim Seokjin❥ In the Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Prostitution!AU | Idol!Seokjin x CEO!Reader x Idol!Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.So what happens when you mix fire and ice?You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.➴ WII: tbh starting this fic I never really knew what I was getting into, all I saw was Kim Seokjin and I was sold, I was never a Park Chanyeol stan before reading this but I ended up being one, there’s a lot going on in this series but to immerse and be in a love triangle between the two men and feel the push and pull plus intense passionate emotions they’re willing to shower you with will tear you apart, but don’t worry there are two doors at the end of the story you get to choose between Jin or Chanyeol.

➴ Min Yoongi❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective/Infidelity!AU | Detective Inspector!Yoongi x Homicide Detective!Reader x Teacher!Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.➴ WII: I have always had a thing for working in forensics, profiling people, investigating crime scenes, and basically any investigator/detective/analyst work and this story right here helped me get that feel because there are actual cases they work on here with vivid descriptions to help that wild imagination of yours *wink* + the whole infidelity affair is a mystery you’ll have to use your deduction skills.

➴ Jung Hoseok❥ Bad Guy by @sweetbunnykook➴ Mob/Infidelity!AU | Mob Boss!Jin x Wife!Reader x Mob!Yoongi x Mob!Hoseok | Series➴ After a brutal attack in Hong Kong, your marriage with Kim Seokjin cracks as secrets begin to surface and a series of betrayals find their way into the veins of the Hidden Tigers. Although Jin’s devotion endures, in his own definition, the reality of being a mob wife may be too much for you to bear.➴ WII: this will put you in a rollercoaster ride of emotions there are actually three members here that will make things quite hard for you, but I have to say BG Hoseok is definitely one of my favorite characterizations of him, though there will be a push and pull of emotions once you get further into the story.. also, you’ll have to go through so much because immersing in this one will hurt a lot to the point where your heart is almost numbed.

➴ Park Jimin❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbor/Stalker!AU | Stalker!Jimin x Neighbor!Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.➴ WII: hey it’s ya girl danger lover (my tag line lol), seriously immersing in this one will kinda make you wonder about MC and her choices as if Jimin cast a spell on her, there is this psychological manipulation he uses on her and it will drive you to madness because you will still bend to him and find him irresistible + the kinks here = wildt.

➴ Kim Taehyung❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Assassin!Taehyung x Assassin!Kinsoo x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know➴ WII: now I know you’re probably wondering if it’s possible to immerse in fics with named OC? as I said I’m an actress who plays the part when reading and to immerse into the enigma that is Kinsoo is a wonderful experience, this belongs to the list of the intense fics I immersed into and if you’re the type to go all out when immersing no matter what genre or theme (taboo) the story contains you’ll enjoy the intensity of this one because you get everyone’s POV as you go through making you understand each character better and there is actual assassin work here if you enjoy the stealth way, you’ll appreciate Taehyung and Kinsoo’s work and the people that work for them.

➴ Jeon Jungkook (I’ll list five why not? I have read way too many JJK fics lol)❥ Right of Way by fringesofsanity➴ Infidelity!AU | Cheater!Jungkook x Cheater/GF!Reader x BF!Jimin | Series➴ In theory, things were simple: your best friend was Jungkook’s girlfriend while your boyfriend, Jimin, was Jungkook’s best friend. In reality, things weren’t always that simple. And mutually exclusive.➴ WII: if there’s one story I will never shut up about? it’s this one, I always recommend this to friends, this is the perfect depiction of having a taste of your own medicine in fic form, immersing in this one will make you fall for Jungkook and hope for your own ending, but this won’t sugarcoat anything for you and that’s what I love about this story, but tbh I still think of my own ending every single night. sighhhhh.

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L!AU | BFF!Taehyung x BFF/GF!Reader x BF!Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.➴ WII: okay, me putting this under the list for Jungkook must expose which side I’m on but that’s not the reason why this is under his name, it’s here because I love his WYLEI characterization so much and if you’ve been reading this series too, you’re probably head over heels in love with the boy too? and immersing in this, feeling all the ways he changed MC’s life and the way he loves her? stop it i’m crying right now. T_T

❥ Only You by @sweetbunnykook➴ Stalker/Lovers!AU | Stalker/BF!Jungkook x Noona/GF!Reader x Ex-Fiance!Namjoon x BFF!Seokjin | Series➴ Jeon Jungkook, your wedding photographer, helps you escape on your big day upon learning about a secret your groom-to-be kept hidden. You soon fall for this young, passionate photographer. However, you underestimated just how much he was willing to reciprocate that love. Maybe, you think, he’s loving you just a little too much.➴ WII: ahhhh to be Jungkook’s Noona, I love immersing in this because there’s so much intense passion here, and if you allow yourself to fall into the role you will understand the statement that Love is Blind that people will overlook anything their lover is involved in because so what if they did this or that? they only have hearts in their eyes, the manipulation here might get to you irl, like wow, seriously this was so brilliantly written, how can you not love Jungkook and give him everything right?

❥ DNA by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Dystopian/Breeding!AU | Stud!Jungkook x Cow!Reader | Series➴ Jungkook’s career is in jeopardy when he begins falling for a woman he’s supposed to impregnate.➴ WII: the futuristic feels? amazing description and details? unique universe? if you’re up for those things this is one amazing read you should be immersing yourself into, I’m so in love with the way this was written, Bee and her galaxy mind will challenge you into painting all of her words in your head and you’ll have an advanced futuristic universe where babies are manufactured and modified to your liking but if you mix feelings into the process and what do you get? ugh, this is just brilliant!

❥ The Fitting by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Idol!Jungkook x Stylist/Noona!Reader | Series➴ The younger Jungkook has a workplace crush on you, but you let the flattery get to you and make a proposition you can’t take back.➴ WII: who can ever say no to idol!jungkook? prepare to immerse into this tension-filled romance with Jungkook, laced with complications of keeping a secret “relationship“, so this is what happens when fire meets ice at work, and this being an idol!au will give you a glimpse of how they probably keep their affairs hidden from everyone and it can be stressful, full of jealousy, and fights.

➴ OT7 ❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | Space Crew!OT7 x Space Crew!Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.➴ WII: BEST.OT7.FIC.EVER. so why not immerse yourself and be the only girl in their universe right? this has so much sexual tension since they only have you sis, but it’s fun to get all the attention tho there will be stressful and trying times, the boys will compensate *wink*wink*

❥ A Hundred Percent Human by wrienne➴ Hybrid/Host-Club!AU | Hybrid!OT7 x Human/Owner!Reader | Series➴ In which you (reader) are forced to take care of seven hybrids in a twist of fate.After your estranged mother passes away, you’re left with an unwanted will and the heavy burden of responsibility. Although you’re desperate not to stray from the familiar path you thought was laid out in front of you with a fully human boyfriend who loves you more than anything, your life is thrown upside down once more after another unfortunate incident (that may or may not have to do with said boyfriend) occurs.Drunk and down on life, you finally decide to deal with the house and the unsavory business your mother left behind. However, to your shock, you find that seven very different hybrids are included with both the house - and the business. Seven hybrids you never even met before - even less agreed to take care of.Set in the not too distant future where infertility has become mankind’s greatest issue. Will contain sexual content.➴ WII: what’s an ot7 fic without tension? majority of the boys are dog hybrids with certain classes and MC has no fucking clue how to deal with hybrids let alone seven of them with two of them being special classes/cases, this will be a little slow-paced as the story starts more on their background/history as hybrids and they’re still getting comfy with one another, which I think is a great way to pull readers in and grow attached to the hybrids.

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | Vampire!OT7 x Human!Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.➴ WII: how can we pass up on vampire!ot7? this is a brilliant story that will have the same haze effect on you as the reader, I immersed hardcore on this one and I’m like who am I? it’s weird when you get affected and get all the phantom feels from reading alone you know? and this will affect you so much I swear to god it’s you literally transported and astral projected into this universe and it’s so pleasing but also frightening to be in the middle of two covens.

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Dystopian/Sex Worker!AU | Idol!OT7 x Physical Companion!Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.➴ WII: this has an interesting take on being Bangtan’s “companion” and to immerse into this one and watching everyone catch feelings and defy the rules for a chance at romance will overwhelm you, you a mere “companion” now the object of their affection and they’re willing to do anything and everything for you even if it means risking it all.

p.s. I suggest you go through my FICSHELF to view all of the stories I ever read so you get to choose the exact story you want to read, the shelf contains story links (Tumblr and ao3 if any) with summary, warnings, and more info about the fic (character role, genre, au, word count).

#answered #tete-a-tete #anon #recs from hell #rfh:ot7 #rfh:knj #rfh:ksj #rfh:myg #rfh:jhs #rfh:pjm #rfh:kth #rfh:jjk #this was hard because if i could add everything i read here i would #but that's why i have a ficshelf lol :3 #anyway the jungkook list i ~ hear me out i had to add at least five because i have a page filled with JJK fics also 3/5 have other members #I hope you'll find this list helpful love!

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hellbabyfromhell · 5 years ago

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why (if you don’t mind me asking) is your house taking such a large toll on your mental health? Im sure you’ve explained it already but... I’m out of the loop

i havent explained it, and tbh i didnt explain it to my friends fr a long time because i felt guilty AND embarrassed even though i should have just been madif you happen to know these people irl, i respectfully ask you dont share this with them. i need to speak to them at my own time in my own way. its long

basically my (then gf, now ex’s) fmaily “took me in” right after my dad traumatically died right in front of me and ruined my brain. i was all fucked up and they “took me in”. i felt very safe with them. but the way it ended up was with them bleeding me dry with money because ive been paying my ex’s rent since my dad died, and if you know me you know thats a long, long time. now, i felt that i owed it to them because they took care of me when my dad died, and that kept me from changing things despite everyone’s warnings, saying they were using and taking advantage of me. but they called me their daughter, they cared about me, i thought. but it really went downhill abruptly......it started with small disrespects. first off, i’m paying half the rent of this townhome for an uninsulated attic with no central air or heat on the third floor. it is alternatingly freezing and fucking makes-you-nauseous hot. this family tried to convince me that i had vents and they were just covered by my trash lol and thats why my attic is worth [REDACTED] (its too much). when i literally showed them the floor plans and there was no vent they basically just went Oh.

Then, they changed my name on the neflix account to my ex’s mom’s mom’s name, because there were too many people on the netflix to make a new profile, so they changed MY name, rather than rowan’s boyfriend or their random ass friend, ME, who pays HALF THE RENT AT THIS HOUSE. that seems petty but its like, im really the least important out of everyone?then came the thing that made me really start reviewing my situation:my ex asked to come over, and they said yes. THEY said yes. not me. this was like maybe a week or two max after we broke up. ex’s mom texted me to say “okay, he’s coming over” and i was like “:0( okay thats fine but i wish you’d told me before cementing down stuff because thats a little inconsiderate” and she was like “Well it would have been inconsiderate of me not to tell you at all.” I thought that was really disrespectful bcause like, they REALLY didnt know our situation at all, and i live on the third floor so if i needed something from the kitchen or something id have to walk past my ex because my ex and my ex’s mom wanted to be fucking friends. it was weird and rude and she would NOT budge on the idea of INVITING MY EX INTO MY HOME WITHOUT CONFIRMING WITH ME being rude!!!!!and then i started looking back, and likethis is one of the worst things, like a couple months after my dad died, i was like catatonic, barely present, sick with grief and majorly traumatized. and these people had me sel my father’s car, with everything in it, so that my ex could get a new car “to drive me around safer : )”...... now i have to BEG to get a ride down the street to baskin robbins unless someone themself needs something. i gave up my father’s car and everything inside of it for this, and they let me. at the time it hurt too much to look at but i wish with everything i could have what i left in that car. i will never forgive them for that. i have so little of him and some of out favorite things were in that car and i know they knew that.ive mentioned moving out a couple times and they always say “well give 2 months notice!” done. i have. but they kept saying i needed to stay longer or convincing me it was bad to leave until the ex’s mom’s bf needed surgery and then now i cant leave till after january. i wasnt happy about this at all but i was like Okay well i guessbut then the other night, the ex’s mom’s bf (who has his own medical card) had the audacity to get mad at me for not wanting to get him a bunch vape carts from the dispensary i JUST got hired at even though id just bought a lot, AND HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE SMOKING!!!. he asked me a favor and i said i was uncomfy with it and he went fucking off on me.

this is a little snippet. i know you dont know everything just from what im telling you, but what i can say i have done a TON for this family, and this is NOT the only thing he has asked me for, and i don’t know if the doctor prescribed him crack rock because all he does is sit in the living room and watch kill la kill. i was so disappointed in him because i thought he was least complicit and it turns out he hd some issue with me. i’ve done a lot for this family. it was really hurtful.since this i never leave my room, they rarely address me if i do or look right through me. the ex’s mom’s bf asked to speak once in a way that implied that he expected a sorry from me too. you ma believe this to be once sided, but i believe with my whole heart i have done not a thing wrong. i don’t want to apologize. it’s been about 5 weeks now i feel like and they have barely spoken to me. they laugh wildly downstairs and don’t feel even a bit bad that i never come downstairs. that i have to rush around to get packages. that i never use the kitchen or am anywhere near it (not that id want to be because its always stacked high with dirty dishes). my ex’s mom lost her job staying home too much from an illness that shouldnt affect her working since she works a desk job an all she does at home is sit on the couch, do nails, ply overwatch, watch safiya nyagaard and hang out with their friends. i never go downstairs because i feel like its not my home. also my ex’s mom’s bf walks around all hours of the night now so i never feel safe to go downstairs EVER so i ration water and food and when i go to te bathroom people jiggle the doorknob and i say IM IN HERE :0( and also my ex’s mom’s bf walks around puking with the door open and blowing his nose (he did this pre surgery too) and i just am going crazy here i have to get out. they dont give a shit about me . i dont know if i sound entitled, but it really does suck but i feel so trapped. this isnt my house. OH , and when i sked about moving out ex’s mom said well if we all paid the same amoun it’d be [200 less] . theyre using me and dont care and i hate being here and it’s making me really want to die. thank you, it kinda felt good to let that out

#broverload #old roommates

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sailormurkury · 5 years ago

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History3: MODC review I guess?

Word Count: around 2,080

Warning: Potential Spoiler for POSE Season 2. I’m not sure if it’s been streaming globally yet, but I mention the death of a character.

I fell in love with the BL drama HIStory this past August. It was after coming across a video on twitter of two men embracing, kissing and both breaking down in tears on the floor of a lavish, minimalistic, bedroom. After a bit of digging in the replies, I learned the name of the show, History3: Trapped. One google later, I’m on VIKI and I find the entire first half-season which had just wrapped up two months prior. The rest of that month was spent binging it and the first 2 seasons (and The Untamed). This week the second half of the beloved drama’s third season which has been hailed the best BL drama of 2019, possibly all-time, ended with a thud on the 18th. Prior to this week it had a solid score of 9.5 on MyDramaLive where it now sits at 8.5. (Rating seems to be falling slightly every 2-3 days, now sits at 8.4.) This season’s love story focused on the story between Yu Xi Gu, an orphan, loner, and presumptive valedictorian of Zenren High and Xiang Hao Ting, the carefree Mr. popular of the school. The show also follows a side couple, HaoTing’s best friend Sun Bo Xiang and Xi Gu’s boss, Lu Zhi Gang. This season focused on the blossoming of these two couples’ relationships in such a way that most of us thought “Oh wow they’re going for full on happy go lucky in love” and while they met challenges like HaoTing’s homophobic parents and entrance exams they managed to fight for each other with their relationship getting stronger every time. That was until this week’s finale when we were served with a plate of Deadly Distant Finale with a side of Bury Your Gays and a glass Gay for You.

I initially thought that I was okay with the finale in a similar way to how I was with the finale of HIStory3: Trapped. That was bittersweet yet common sense. Shao Fei was a cop, Tang Yi a mob boss who shot an officer, he “had” to go to jail. Yet the more I thought about it I felt grieved, insulted rather by MODCs finale. So, like everyone else is doing on social media, I’m going to nitpick the hell out of it as part of my “healing process.” Also, while all of us are upset, unfortunately as in the summer, some fans are attacking the cast and crew. In the words of the master heart crusher, Shonda Rhimes, “Don’t tweet them your crazy,” or...whatever the weibo equivalent is. So, before the nitpicking, a caveat. My beef is with the lazy writing of episode 10, this entire cast was outstanding from Wayne and ChuanChih to the ZENREN homies to The Xiang Family just outstanding. Possibly the best History ensemble since H2:Crossing The Line. Thankfully, this season was not written the same writer of H3: Trapped that would have been way too much for me. (Although, word in the fandom is that MODCs screenwriter wasn’t fond of Trapped’s screenwriter, or rather her treatment for the finale? Alexa, Play Ironic by Alanis Morrisette.) Also in this review, I’m going to be using the VIKI episode count when referring to episodes so just 1-9. *wink*

On to the picking apart, if you watched all of episode 9 last week, you probably had the same horrified realization as I that our first intimate moment in episode 2 where HT saves XG from getting run over by a moped was foreshadowing for the finale. I don’t want to dissuade anyone from watching the series again, I will, but with the ending we got? It’s going to be difficult to revisit that scene again without resentment. It’s bad enough that XiGu, the main character up to this point, dies off screen in a way that nearly renders him worthless. Especially in the way that this story said “meet this soft, pitiful, malnourished and overworked boy; fall in love with him as he allows himself to fall in love and watch as that love makes him bloom.” I haven’t been this upset over a needless character death since, well, I can’t even say that I have made peace with Candy’s death in season 2 of POSE and that was 5 months ago.

I don’t know why the writer chose this ending that says “fighting tooth and nail for love is meaningless, yet the memories make it worthwhile?” I’m being petty, we know for HaoTing this love was not meaningless, XiGu’s death is not meaningless. If XiGu’s death was meaningless he wouldn’t have thrown himself into his undergrad studies and gotten into Stanford grad to continue XiGu’s dre…hold the hell on. Wait a damn minute, isn’t that…the dead love interest trope? So, in the POV of this finale, XiGu’s existence was to get HaoTing to mature and become a physicist? Remember, high school HaoTing didn’t really have a dream outside of being with XG 24/7. He became a better student and chose to become a Physics major solely to be with XG. During the show, this particular plot point had some fans noting, while sweet in theory, pinning your hopes and dreams on teenage love can be costly in real life.

Six years on, it seems the only people that have been affected by XiGu’s death are HaoTing and Lin Cai Chu, his ex-girlfriend? I understand in real life we tend to be moved on after this much time. Yet, there was no mention of Xi Gu from the crew or the family, even when he was visibly upset around them. You could count Mrs. Xiang when she spoke to Hao Ting while he was packing, but she never names him, only implies, and, I feel we had to dive for that meaning. Also, there was no significant interaction from Sun Bo or his sister Yong Ching, who were the closest with HT during this whole relationship. Yong Ching listens to her brother cry after their father tears XiGu and HaoTing apart and she plays messenger between them during their parting. However, in episode 10 she’s enamored with Phoebe’s style? Sun Bo is HaoTing’s brother in the battle for love they share everything about how their hearts feel about their guys. But when HT drunkenly pours out his grief after six years, and he kinda gives a “damn bro, that sucks” vibe for a good part of the talk? (Sidenote: Wayne acted his whole ass off in this episode, do you hear me?) In Trapped, ShaoFei knew everything about TangYi. When Chen Wen Hao and Sister Lizhen were revealed as TangYi’s parents he grieves with and comforts him back at home. (Bonus: if you watch that scene again you can see Jake break down with Chris when they pull apart.)

I’m not touching that damn doppleganger moment, why even do it? These decisions have been made, yet the way both XiGu’s death and HaoTing’s potential girlfriend Phoebe are hinted and implied at, yet never really engaged with or seen. Which, to me, signals fear on part of the writer. These are the decisions you felt comfortable making so why not go ahead and give it to us full out. Show us XiGu dying in HaoTing’s arms, HaoTing visiting his grave a la Trapped episode 10, or show us the moment when Phoebe meets the family. We could have gotten more thought or effort put into these plot twists on the part of the writer. We see the way HaoTing weeps over XiGu and how he just shrugs off the mention of Phoebe from his family. XiGu and HaoTing lined and called each other daily, Phoebe can’t even email to let him know where she is? Worse yet, HaoTing does not even attempt checking up on her? Is on a 13-hour flight or about to get on one? Don’t really know, damn sure don’t care.

I “got” that he doesn’t think the love of his life can ever be replaced, but we also know through his actions that he doesn’t love her either. Even though he’s introducing her to his family, I ask, does he even like her? Where’d they meet? How old is she? Why bring her up if you aren’t going to flesh the concept of Phoebe out? If you really wanted to give a love story closure “well” you should have done all of this several episodes ago by breaking them up or even condensing the love story and killing XG earlier on rather than handing us this death/new gf cocktail in ONE EPISODE. So many HIStorians thought that the boys would split because of HaoTing lying about the rent, and this makes perfect sense as it’s a clear violation of XiGu’s desire to be as self-reliant as possible, even in a relationship. That could have given rise to the first big argument and potential breakup.

At first, I thought that the most insulting thing about this finale was that we didn’t get a happy ever after, or at least a happy for now like Trapped. Happy endings are an unofficial mission statement of the series. However, the most insulting thing about this finale, for me, was that death became final. Three years in a series, where death has NEVER been final, or even an option for its leads at least since season 1. (Which HIStorians like, but don’t really talk about for good reason.) Now, you could argue about Trapped because Shao Fei does get shot twice and if any storyline was primed for death it was theirs. However, even with the action element, the Brooklyn Nine-Nine type comedy never gave it the gravity that MODC unknowingly had. We were presented the stakes, the murders of Old Tang/LiZhen, and knew the threat, Chen WenHao. In MODC, there was a quiet unease I had for most of my watch along the lines of, “this is perfect. I love it, but it’s too perfect.” The “challenges” XG/HT faced they pretty much steamrolled every time so I assumed they were in the clear until the last 5 minutes of episode 9.

H1: My Hero and H1: Obsessed both had plots that dealt with the boundary of death, making it impermanent “because love.” While we’re at it, let’s talk about Obsessed shall we. Even abusive ass, stalker ass Jiang Jing Teng, a man who by logic and common sense shouldn’t have, got a chance to love again. He got to say goodbye to, spread the ashes of, and reunite with Shao Yi Chen. After his beard, who it just so happened was also a witch/sorceress, brought back SYC from the dead, not once BUT TWICE?!? (First, from rebirth. Second, it was all a dream.) Yet YXG/SHT, the most loved couple since CTL, can’t get a similar twist of fate? Make it make sense, especially given that this is likely the final season for HIStory.

That hurt to type, but, it looks like History3 is going to be the final season for the series. Since we haven’t had any official announcement from CHOCO. And with 2 major backlashes, the first based on misunderstanding with Trapped and the second due to MODC lazy finale, it’s looking like a done deal until the CTL movie comes out at the end of 2020. In which case, everyone involved is going to have to be on their very best behavior from now on. In the hearts of some HIStorians, this finale has done irreparable damage to MODC itself and the HIStory franchise. Which is sad, considering that up to this point HIStory was getting better and better with each season only to decimate that growth in one episode.

*cue Mariah* I still believe that MODC is the best BL drama of 2019. It’s the best to come out of Taiwan since CTL. Most of that is due to the phenomenal work of the cast, and… yes, the initial episodes written by our screenwriter. Even with my frustrations with the finale, I was conflicted as I said on Wednesday night. I was very disappointed, but the performances I did get, specifically from Wayne, kept me engaged to the point that I still enjoyed it. Does it make up for the cruelty to Yu Xi Gu not at all, but the previous 9 episodes pretty much put it in my top 5 all-time early on. What now? I’m waiting for the dvd drop next year and reliving every blissful moment. Oh, and I’m rewatching episodes 5/6 for Christmas.

If you made it this far, thank you HIStorians, you all have made this surprise journey most certainly worth it.

Merry Christmas and Best Wishes to all of you in 2020,

PS: word from Mandarin speaking fans is that the novelization of this series has 2 endings. One happy and the one we saw on Wednesday which…*sigh* at least there’s a universe where the boys are happy. I also have some notes on issues I had with HaoTing’s family in episode 10 that I’ll likely touch on after Christmas.

PPS: I can’t believe we got blessed with multiple Duke Wu appearances!!!

#History series #history 3: 圈套 #History3: MODC #history3: make our days count #MODC #make our days count #History BL #History: Obsessed #History: Stay Away From Me #history the series #history 3: 那一天 #history 3: trapped #Wayne Song #Duke Wu

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bob-dude · 5 years ago

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Some Orange Jerk’s Hazbin thoughts, the longer version.

As I mentioned in a prior post, I thought the pilot was so-so. Don't hate it with a capital H but find everyone's love for this show to be... odd. Though considering the late 2000s Devinart vibe I get from the show’s art style, probably not too odd now that I think about it. So here’s my longer, more rambly, thoughts on Hazbin Hotel by some rando Orange Jerk on Tumblr. And as always, more power to ya if you do love it, obviously.

Art direction wise, I’m just not crazy about Viv’s color choice. The red and black and pinks give a Valintine’s day meets Wonderland Queen of Hearts vibe that just doesn't personally work for me on a visual level.

As for hell itself, I thought the background stuff like ‘Radio Hack’ and the main city being named Pentagram to be... eh? Like, that’s the kind of world-building we’re going with here? It felt less like Hell and more like a city with the trapings of Hell, at least for me.

So, main cast, the trio as it were. Eh. Meh. Like, Charlie is a Disney Princess of Hell... even though no one treats her as one respect wise which just strikes me as odd from a background perspective. And Charlie has that standard Disney nativity going on... even though she was born and raised in Hell? Like, why bother to make your most optimistic and native character a denizen of hell if she’s not going to look or act the part personality wise?

The reason the personality thing confuses me I guess, is that take Charlie out of Hell and we’ve seen her character a thousand times before: The bubbly sweet optimistic girl that’s been done so many times before. Is the ‘But in Hell!’ aspect really that much of a grabber for people? Guess it is and more power to em but it just strikes me as a strange creative choice where once again a character's personality doesn’t logically flow from their background.

Design-wise Charile is fine, red tux reminds me of the God from the 1977 Oh God movie so that gets a thumbs up in my book. Still a bit weird that a princess is wearing it but it makes sense with the Hotel set up and all so her outfit has a logic to it.

Then we have Vaggie. So, legit question here people: If you went into the pilot blind and Angle Dust didn’t make his ‘taco’ comment would you have ANY idea that Vaggie is supposed to be Latina? Because I legitimately had no idea that was what her design was supposed to say about her as a charchter. Also didn’t really get a moth vibe from her, either if I’m honest. As for her personality, she’s the standard ‘loving supportive’ GF but with an angry side protective side for Charile... and she’s a Latinia/Latinix. Does... Does no one else think that’s just a bit... off? Making the one clearly marked Latinia character the ‘angry girlfriend’ archetype?

Also, that weird pink X eye patch bugged the hell out of me when I was watching. Totally petty as shit nitpick, but I had to vent on that bit. Honestly, though Vaggie is also Meh? Like, she’s in a relationship with Charlie, cool and all but she just doesn’t strike me as a terribly interesting character if I’m honest. Gives me a sort of Lisa Simpson ‘stick-in-the-mud’ vibe.

And then we have Angle Dust. You know, in the words of Netflix’s Big Mouth, “Sassy and Gay” isn’t a personality. Angle Dust basically has that sort of ‘2000s Yaoi OC’ vibe and considering Vive once had a DA character sheet where she literally listed his personality is ‘Bitch’... Yeah.

Also, as I’ve said elsewhere, Viv and crew are doing too much with this guy. So he’s an ex mobster killed by his homophobic father in the 1920s (not mentioned in the pilot but it is a pilot in all fairness so you can’t throw all your cards on the table). And he’s a Spider Demon... even though per Word of Viv how everyone’s designed in hell doesn’t have anything to do with how they died on Earth (then why deign them that way?). And he’s a porn star (being ex Mob shouldn’t he be the one paying for porn stars as a power domination sort of thing?). AND he’s going for a Beetlejuice meets CJ from Regular Show sort of design.

It just seems a bit much, imo. Like, you could make him just a gay ex mob who mostly uses a Tommy Gun and design him to fit that and leave the Spider-Demon stuff out and it becomes a lot more manageable. Something like a simplified Zoot Suit, or the like. You could keep the sexual humor but throw it a bit more 1920s slang and pop culture references for characterization/comedy purposes (Vaggie, for example, has no idea what he’s talking about most of the time). Granted, I’d personally rather they ditch the ‘animal bits slapped on’ aspects of the designs as a whole but that, as always is just me.

For the record, I’m not ‘offended’ by Angle Dust as a character concept, I’m just not wowed or impressed, ultimately.

And then we have Alastor. Now, I LOVE Alastor as a character. He’s got that classic ‘reality warper’ vibe ala Bill Cipher or Discord but with a 1920s radio show host twist that I just think is amazing and the sound distortion they added to his voice was a really cool touch on top of it all. The problem, as always, comes more with the color choice. One one of your own characters can’t take someone seriously because they look like a ‘strawberry pimp’ that might be the time to maybe go with a different color pallet? Like, idk, maybe throw in some warm browns and brass golds to involve the 1920s radio vibe stronger? Radios of the 20s and 30s weren’t famous for being red, is what I’m getting at.

The other problem with Alastor is that he’s too strong a personality, ironically. He comes in at the tail end of the pilot and basically steals whatever interest a potential audience member (or at least fat orange jerks like me) might have had in Charlie's plight. It's like introducing Bill Cipher in the first episode of Gravity Falls. At that point whatever interest you might have had in the MC goes out the window and you think ‘what’s this dudes deal and can the show be about them instead please?’ Sure, Alastor in all of his pesudo deer (Those don’t look like horns in my opinion but whatever you say Viv) is fun to watch but he drowns out Charile through sheer force of charisma and showmen ship. Maybe the series itself will fix this but for the pilot at least I think it’s an issue.

Also, Nifty is Nifty and she needs her own spin-off ASAP. That is all.

Husk is literally Avocato from Final Space with wings and some gambling bits thrown in design-wise. That’s literally all I think of Husk, sorry Husk fans :(

The animation is good, but I do find it ironic that as much as people like the bitch about SU being off model, Hazbin I thought suffered from so many different animators tackling different scenes that it just felt jarring going from one scene to the next due to the difference in style and the shifts in animation pacing. Now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of it looks great but that switch in animators kinda just took me out of the experience in places. Well, that and the lack of proper scene transitions. Those are what also made the pilot feel like whiplash for me.

And now comes to Bob’s thoughts on the plot of the pilot and this is where the logical holes of the series start to get to me just a bit.

So. Charlie wants to reform the demons of hell of their sins so they can get to heaven and Hell can lower its population and angles down come down and deliver some righteous furry smiting on their asses. Okay. Stupid question but what the hell is Charlie basing this off of? I mean, was AD really THAT good an actor that Charlie thought going full steam ahead on the Hotel idea was the next reasonable step up?

Like, the Hotel was clearly a mess and her staff is literally just her and Vaggie and MAYBe Angel Dust. Even if the episode had ended with a horde of demons lining up to get into heaven by way of cleaning up their acts there’s no way two, three people could handle that (Or, you know, six if we throw in Nifty and Husk in fairness now that I think about it).

And that’s ultimately the thing with the pilot, the demons are assholes as you’d expect the citizens of hell to be but if they are assholes... why should we care if they get redeemed or not when not one of them is clearly interested in the idea? As cheesy as it would have been, the pilot ending with a horde of demons wanting to give this ‘become better’ thing a shot would have at least left the pilot on a better note to end on. As it is it just seems like Charlie is doomed to fail because no one but her gives a shit or belives about her idea for the Hotel and we have no proof that her idea will even work. Which just makes me wonder: Why should I care if no one else does?

Ultimately, the show has potential but the art style and aspects of the writing just don’t click for me. The show doesn’t say ‘adult’ to me so much as it does 'Hot Topic Teen trying to be adult' which works for a lot of people but for me I think Hellevua Boss as more potential concept-wise. And has scenes on Earth which do the red and black and pink and white colors of the demons a lot better visual justice contrast wise but that’s just me.

#hazbin hotel #sorry hazbin fans #your show is flawed and has room for improvement

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cartoonfangirl1218 · 6 years ago

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Love Potion Extravaganza Ch. 10

Once again, a big kiss and thanks to @pizzansunshine for her help in editing and finishing this fic of monstrous proportions. Thank you @shasta627 for helping me pick out songs even though we had to exclude Math of Love Triangles and the Sireneas for the sake of the story. Maybe next time. Also thanks to @missnobodynobodius for her enthusiasm and love for all these Crazy Ex Gf songs and inspiring me to finally write a fic to combine these two loves. Lastly, thanks to @lostbutterflyutau for her continued comments and enthusiasm for the story even though I kept stabbing her heart.

The last three songs are “One Indescribable Instant Reprise” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XlEqPHOADMc

“The Magic Within You” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_3Kp8y02Abg

“A Real Life Happily Ever After” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uEiD2kpx5AA

Epilogue

Mateo paced uneasily outside his workshop. He knew he should have gone in and just do his usual magic practice and studying and probably clean it up. Naomi and Olivia admitted to leaving it a terrible mess when they had been making their own potion, but Mateo was just too distracted.

His head was still stuck on the magical hours he spent with Elena, in love with her and she feeling the same way. He knew now they had been under a love potion. That her actions while under its effect probably meant nothing to her. Like how she had suggested that they should be in a triple wedding with Manuel, Valentina, Gabe and Naomi. But to him, her actions still meant so much.

He got to bask in the glow of her smile. He knew now, what it was like to feel Elena love him. Her sweetness and affection directed only toward him. He knew how it felt to have her curled up in his arms. The feeling of elation at the thought of becoming her husband and spending the rest of his life with her. Now he knew it was it like.... His crush on her had become unbearable. He had taste of what it was like to be Elena’s boyfriend and he couldn’t let it go. Before he had no idea, he only had his imagination and at least that helped him keep some of his feelings under control.

But he now knew how wonderful it was. When they walked back to the palace, every time he looked at her, he felt tingles spread across his skin where her soft hands had touched him and hugged him and cuddled him. Her laugh sounded even more musical if possible. He wanted to return to the position of being right next to her. He couldn’t handle all these feelings. He had to admit to her that he had an actual crush on her. One that had started long before today. He knew it would be risky, laying out all his emotions out there for her to reject him. Kindly of course, since Elena was far too sweet to say he would never make a good boyfriend for her. But still...

He might even have to go back to living with his mother. Elena would undoubtedly feel uncomfortable to have him in the palace after he admitted his crush. It was just as well, it would be too painful to see her at all hours of the day. Like right now, his heart constricting painfully against the confines of his chest as he imagined breakfast mornings not at the palace table. Not seeing Elena’s sleepy look as she tried to wake up. She looked so adorable when she...

“Hey Mateo, are you going to go in or..?” Naomi broke into his thoughts. She and Gabe were staring questioningly at him and his frozen feet.

“Uh” Mateo froze and managed to stutter, “No-no. I can’t concentrate I’ll just join you.”

“Okay,” Gabe shrugged as the three of them walked down the hall. Mateo remained silent, his mind still wandering onto the subject of Elena. Gabe and Naomi, however, were at their easy joking banter, talking about everyone’s hilarious actions during the day. At the moment, Mateo envied how they could easily go back to their lives. Write this off as one weird, madcap adventure. They didn’t have any feelings to contend with.

Once everyone had been released from the potion, Gabe had immediately apologized to Elena for his proposal to date, explaining that his feelings were very much gone. This had been somewhat of a relief to Mateo, to know he was right that Gabe was not after Elena. Naomi had no issues to deal with since she had remained one of the only sane ones. She reveled in telling everyone the gory details of what other people had done and mocked them too. Her favorite target was Alonso after he recalled his very inappropriate overtures to her.

Alonso, for his part, didn’t seem too embarrassed. He claimed that not only did the spell make him fall in love but that it made him revert to his old ways. But he had no real answer for when Naomi questioned that did his old ways include falling in love with malvagos, instead he turned his head away muttering, “I thought she was a sexy stranger.”

Valentina and Manuel, whose time under the spell seemed to have sparked some genuine feelings, were also pretty happy in the aftermath. They had decided to go on a few dates to see how it goes and then they would deal with Valentina’s parents.

It was all a real happily ever after it looked like, for everyone but for him.

He was brought out of his gloomy spiel by Luisa coming over to take his hands, apologizing profusely, “I’m sorry, my dear boy for being so rude during breakfast. Love potion or not, I had no right to be so consumed with my husband to be rude to others and neglect your requests for help.”

“Even with a husband as handsome as me.” Francisco came up behind her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Even with a husband as handsome as you.” Luisa smiled up at him.

“Thanks, Luisa. You don’t have to apologize but thanks.” Mateo replied and they continued on down the opposite direction of the hall.

“Was the whole family under the love potion?” Gabe asked Naomi.

Naomi laughed, “Oh yes. Esteban with Doña, Isabel with..” She gasped and put a hand over her mouth like she said too much.

Gabe nudged her, “Isa and who?” “I wasn’t supposed to say she was under the potion.” Naomi winced at her own big mouth.

“It’s too late now, tell.” Mateo urged, getting a little curious as to who Isabel could have a crush on. Probably one of her school friends like Quique.

Naomi looked down at the ground, silent for a long while but she whispered guiltily, “Gabe.”

“Me?” Gabe asked then he seemed to consider it, “She had a crush on me?”

“Please don’t act like you know! I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.” Naomi begged.

“No, I won’t. It was probably a silly crush.” Gabe shrugged it off, but Mateo noticed that his eyes still seemed to be thinking it all over.

The trio arrived outside of the Grand Council room where Manuel was standing guard with Rico. They was an awkward minute or two of silence as they all waited for their friends to come out, but it was thankfully broken when Valentina swung open the door with her usual exuberance.

“Thank you so much for hosting this Elena. This alliance will benefit our kingdoms for years to come!” She waved as Manuel linked arms with her. With a softer tone she turned to her guard, “Let’s go home, Manuel.”

The two walked off, whispering about how the meeting went and of other future things to come.

Alonso gave a half-hearted bow to Naomi, Gabe and Mateo before kissing Elena’s hand which she yanked away with a roll of her eyes at his wannabe casanova attitude, “Till we meet again.”

Before he sauntered off, he turned and pointed a finger-gun to Naomi, “Maybe we can have intercourse next time, blondie.”

“In your dreams!” Naomi yelled at his retreating back, accompanied with a choice finger.

“Elena, can I talk to you in private?” “Mateo, can I talk to you in private?”

They flushed and looked at the ground after they asked the exact same question in unison.

Gabe looked between the two, grabbed Naomi’s arm, and smoothly exited, “Come on, Nomes. Let’s go to my mom’s to get some nice freshly baked treats. See you guys tomorrow.”

Alone, Elena and Mateo walked silently down the hall that led to courtyard and the palace gardens, both lost in their own worlds.

Elena found that the trade alliance that she had been so eager to host, had been torture to sit through. It had occurred right after the love potion was lifted and all Elena wanted to do was sit down with Mateo and asked if being together felt as right to him as it did to her.

When they had been together under the love potion, it was almost like a piece that Elena hadn’t even knew that was missing from her life fell right into place. That piece was Mateo. Being with him made her feel, if she had to take a line from Valentina’s song, “totes invincible.” She felt that as long as she was secure in the knowledge that Mateo loved her and cared for her, that she could win over whatever came her way. At least she knew he would be there behind her with some nice cuddles and sweet words of comfort filled with the trust that she could do her duty.

Even without the potion she still felt that. On the carriage ride back to the palace she had decided that she had to tell him her feelings and what he meant to her. She knew it was unlikely he would feel the same way for her. He agreed to just impulsively marry her while he was under the spell. A sure sign that he was not acting his usual, more cautious self. But even though he could not offer romantic love, she still wanted assurance that he would always be there. Always be with a compassionate look, his warm arms that were just perfect hugging, always be a person that she could confide in. Always be one of her best friends.

“I KNOW YOU DON’T HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME!” An exasperated voice shouted from behind Esteban’s room, “It’s still impossible that you would feel absolutely nothing from what happened today! I am amazing! Women have fainted in my arms and asked me to be the father of their children after I merely kissed them. You had to enjoyed it. You cannot walk away without enjoying it on some level. I know you have a heart of ice but still no frozen heart can’t not be melted by Esteban Flores!”

Elena and Mateo curiously peaked behind the door. Esteban and Doña were once again nose to nose in an insult match, their eyes flashing with their usual blazing fury. Thankfully, both were fully dressed in their regular clothes.

“I told you. I. Felt. Nothing. You may have been a good kisser when you were young, but now you need a love potion to boost your skills..” Doña snapped back with a sneer.

“That wasn’t my fault. Besides, we both know you liked it.” Esteban growled.

“And so did you.” Doña glared.

“I was not the one who begged for more.” His voice took on a sing-song tone of superiority, “If I remember correctly that when we were in the kitchen you had some expletive statements about how you wanted more of me.” Esteban smirked.

The smirk soon faded from his lips when Doña’s taunted, “Not only have your kissing skills faded with age, but you’re- ”

Esteban interrupted her by pressing her against the wall in a passionate kiss, “Now?”

“Read my lips. Nothing!” Doña spat and he responded by kissing her again.

“Liar! I’m fantastic! Admit it!”

Mateo and Elena closed the door firmly behind them. Elena broke the silence, “I thought Naomi gave them the antidote?”

Mateo shrugged, “They are fighting again so..that’s a good sign, I guess?”

Elena chewed her lips before inching herself away from the door, “The-they can resolve their issues. We really don’t need to get involved.”

“Yeah that’s-that’s a great idea.” Mateo agreed. They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Whether it was from the nervousness for the conversation about to come or just the ridiculous scene they just witnessed it at least served to break the ice between them. They instinctively locked arms when they entered the garden. Elena led him to a small bench that Mateo had never seen before because it had been blocked by rose bushes.

They sat and lapsed into silence again, unsure of who should start the conversation. Mateo was thinking of how exactly he showed open when Elena blurted, “I like you!” Then with the same shocked gasp as Naomi, she covered her mouth, looking down at it as if it talked without consulting her brain.

Meanwhile Mateo’s brain seemed to have stopped because as he turned the phrase, “I like you” in his head, he couldn’t quite comprehend it. Did she meant as a friend? Was she trying to apologize for today? She had to be, the only other option was..

“I like you more than as a friend. I like you.. A lot. I know you don’t feel the same way but let me explain.” Elena said her voice trembling as she forced herself to look into Mateo’s eyes as she spoke. Mateo’s heart jumped up to his throat than to his stomach. It was doing the jumping he longed to do. She liked him! She liked him back! Never in his wildest dreams that Elena liked him. A part of him worried maybe this was the love potion talking but another part urged him to kiss her before she changed her mind. Yet when he looked at her, how vulnerable she seemed as she admitted her feelings, he knew the right thing to do was to give her the space she needed to talk.

“I don’t know when it started. Sometime after we first went to Vallestrella I think.” Elena was so absorbed in what she was trying to put in words she missed the smile that spread across Mateo’s face.

“You’re- you.” Elena took a deep inhale then exhaled, “You make me feel so many things, Mateo. I guess it would be love in an overall sense. But all these other emotions are built in too. I feel safe with you. I feel like you’re the only one I can trust with some of my worst fears and insecurities. But even better, you’re understanding. I know I can be sad and you will not see me as less of a queen. But but I also feel so happy when I’m with you too. We’ve had so many adventures together like when we transformed into jaquins together. That was so much fun. I love how you go with my crazy schemes even though they’re not always thought out. And that you give me really good advice. And I don’t only love how you make me feel but just you. I love you! You’re so compassionate and sweet and adorable. And the way you’re so passionate about magic, it’s admirable. You’re so brave but modest and you’re a really good teacher to Olivia and to me. And,” Elena took another deep breath. Her mind was spinning out of control, there were so many traits of Mateo she wanted to praise, but she knew if she continued rambling on it might scare him. She was here to tell him that she was still willing to be his friend even if he didn’t like her.

“I love you, Mateo. I know you may not love me back. But that is how you make me feel. I wanted to tell you that even though you don’t want to be my boyfriend, I still hope..if you are willing... Will you still be someone I can confide in? Can I still come to you when I need comfort? I know it might be awkward now but I still need you in my life as one of my best friends.”

Mateo looked into Elena’s eyes. Their large brown irises shined with an irrepressible emotions, emphasized by the spontaneous tears starting to pool at the corners. That passion that Elena put into everything she did, how she put her feelings into her every action. They were all directed at him...because of her love for him.

He put a finger under her chin and guided her toward him. They eyes connected for the briefest of seconds but it was enough for Elena to see his own eyes fill with love. He kissed her. Their lips fit together perfectly, soft and warm and sending a thousand small sparks up and down their bodies. When he pulled away, he swore his curls must have been standing straight up from the electricity between them.

“I love you too, Elena.” He admitted breathlessly, an inappropriate nervous laugh burbled up his throat, but he swallowed it down.

“I’ve loved you before this day. Before Vallestrella even but I don’t think I even really knew it at the time. What I did know was that I wanted to always make you the happiest girl in Avalor and to help you as you grow to be queen and a master wielding your scepter. I don’t know when my feelings really came but that doesn’t matter. I still want to make you happy. You make me happy all the time. You gave me confidence and courage to do things I never thought I could do. But you don’t only do that for me but to everyone you meet. You are a shining light to the kingdom. But that’s not the only reason I love you. Your endless enthusiasm is contagious, your laugh is as musical as your voice. I feel like they’re aren’t enough adjectives to describe how I feel. I.. I love you. I feel so..honored honestly that you love me too.”

Elena threw her arms around him, “You don’t have to be honored. I’m honored that you love me, my brave, handsome wizard.” Mateo blushed at her “handsome” comment which made Elena smile. He was so cute!

“I guess we’ve been hiding our feelings for each other this whole time.” Mateo said, relaxing as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Well to be fair, we can’t pinpoint when we first realized we had feelings much less when we first had feelings.” Elena pointed out.

Mateo laughed, “It’s like that song we sang. “In one indescribable instant, the whole world falls away. In one indescribable instant, you’ll know just what to say.”

Elena joined, her nightingale-like voice blending melodiously with his strong alto, “In one indescribable instant, your heart will speak the truth! For in that one indescribable, magical, mystical, endless, incredible instant..”

“The only words you need are “I love you.” Mateo finished softly and kissed her again.

In his opinion this kiss was almost as good as their first one. The smell of roses filled the air and left Mateo feeling breathless. His heart still clenched in excitement, he still felt like he was floating on air, he still felt the comforting embrace of Elena and he could hear the beating of their hearts as one.

But it was better because this was genuine. This was going to last.

“Should we tell everyone the good news? Elena asked, making no move to get up from her comfortable position snuggled against Mateo’s chest.

“Tomorrow.” Mateo suggested as the sun started it’s daily dip toward the ocean. “I’m done with dealing with excitement for today.”

“Me too.” Elena rubbed her head in the crook of her neck prompting Mateo to kiss her temple like he had seen Francisco do to Luisa this morning.

They stayed like that for a while, watching the sunset when Elena jumped up and gave a playful bow, “Shall we dance?”

“I’d be delighted.” Mateo answered and spun her around into his arms. Elena gave him a knowing smile as she hummed familiar tune for them to dance to.

She gave him a wink when she saw the look of recognition on his face. “Remember your first royal wizard coronation?”

“Yes, that’s when I first really believed in myself. Because of you.” Mateo answered and Elena began to sing the song that inspired him to fight Fiero for Avalor and for Elena.

He would like to think of it as “their” song.

“The first time that I met you I could see

You were meant to be a hero to us all

Taking on the forces of the dark with your magic spark

And always standing tall.”

Mateo joined in, the words coming to him as if that moment had been yesterday instead of three years ago. “You're starting down a path to find your destiny

So now is not the time to hide.

You have to raise your scepter and do your best for me

Because I need you by my side.”

Mateo and Elena swayed side by side. Every little touch raised goosebumps but the warm contact prevented them feeling the cold night air. “'Cuz there's a lesson you will not find in a book. Inside yourself is where you have to look.

Find your courage and your pride, inner strength can be your guide

And it will always see you through

If you believe the magic within you.”

Mateo absentmindedly stroked her back as they danced which made Elena want to pull Mateo into another kiss. She felt like she was in a dream. A fairytale dream with a real-life amazing boy that she loved with her whole heart.

“But! If! No wait! I can't! These words will hold you down

Instead just say I can! Those words will turn things around

Cast all your doubts away tell all your fears goodbye

Do what you're meant to do and let your magic fly!”

They stopped dancing, taking a pause to have a sweet kiss that made Elena’s toes curl and Mateo shudder with anticipation when Elena peppered kissing on his nose, chin and cheeks before settling on his lips again. “'Cuz there's a lesson you will not find in a book

Inside yourself is where you have to look.

Find your courage and your pride inner strength will be your guide

And it will always see you through

If you believe the magic within you.”

They did one final spin as Elena’s beautiful notes faded in the night, “You must believe in the magic within you.”

Without a word, they retraced their steps back to the palace, giving each other sly smiles all the while. They took the long way back to the library in order to avoid any family members or servants that had decided to stay up late.

“You know. I feel like a cliche princess.” Elena commented when they walked back inside the palace. “I have a handsome lover, my kingdom, Shuriki’s gone. The Delgados are defeated for now. Everything at peace.”

“Do you not like it? Do you want some more adventure? Because I think we can get into some trouble tomorrow.” Mateo teased, bravely taking her hand once they entered the empty library with the secret passage to his workshop.

Elena shook her head and played with his fingers as he opened the entrance, singing softly as to not attract any attention, “I’ve been riding toward—

A real-life happily ever after.

I’m done with all the intrigue.

Sick of kicking ass.

As far as seeking vengeance

Frankly, I can pass.

I’m ready now for something

Of a diff ’rent class—

A real-life happily ever after.”

Mateo turned to look into her eyes once more as they sang so the only people who would know their lovely secret were them, “Screw the potions and malvagos and jaquins

All the magic I need is you.

Journey done, we’re home

As epic endings go,

It’s rather small...

But it’s a real-life happily ever after

After all.”

Mateo cupped her cheeks and Elena placed her hands over his, “I love you, ‘Lena.” “I love you, Mateo.”

And they kissed once more, hearts filled with love and joy in their mutual affection.

As they pulled away, Mateo opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something and abruptly closed it then opened it again.

Elena giggled, “What is it, mí querido”

Mateo sighed, feeling his sudden nervousness fall away at the sound of Elena’s new nickname for him, “I don’t really feel that tired so I’m going to whip up some potions. I was wondering, uh, want to join me?

Elena leaned close so they were touching nose to nose, “I’d love to.”

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clumsyclifford · 3 years ago

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hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

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hisgrudge · 4 years ago

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25 March 2021

I decided to give a try on dating someone I didn’t love, but hopeful. He started to go after me around my 29th birthday (year 2020). Just within a month, we were already dating. He is my current colleague at work, we met in October 2019.

I told him about my baggage. My secrets and my illness. He said nothing has changed, he has loved me since 28uild. He said he will always be there for me, let him accompany me for my routine check up. I told him the reasons I broke up with my ex, one of them is that he was reluctant to know my family. So I was surprised when he came to my hometown to pick me so we can travel back to Jakarta together after a month of dating. Bear in mind that was during the pandemic time, so travelling was more troublesome.

He was true to his words, he always accompanied me to my regular check-up, even to the dentist. He travelled 40km a day to meet me at home, take me out for meals, movies, cheese tea and buy me things. Sometimes during the wet season, he would get caught in the rain or storm. Never once he complaint to me. He said he is willing to do all these for me, because he loves me. He said I’m the one for him and always pray to God about us.

I know I never feel nervous, butterflies in the stomach or electricity with him. He makes me feel like home, like I make him feel too. We have many same perception of life such as view of marriage where a child is not the center of it, we want to have a small private wedding, we should communicate well because its fundamental for relationship and etc.

He is a capable man, he finished his job well and have a good time management. He doesn’t earn much working in NGO, that’s why he accepts side jobs too as a free-lancer. He admits that his side jobs pay him better. He originally planned to quit this NGO after serving for one year but decided to stay because of me.

Is a man like him truly exist? Or is he acting? I found him lying so many times, even for a small thing such as where he really lives.

I first caught him lying about buying lunch for his ex girlfriend. He swore to God that he didn’t do it and I took his word. But I was determine to check the truth myself, so I checked his phone GrabFood history and found that he did send lunch for her. His reason was he was scared I would get angry because every time we argue, would be because of his ex. I forgave him and told him not to lie about such thing. I am not the crazy jealous gf if he tells me honestly the reason he bought her lunch and asked for my permission. I will be most likely to agree.

Second lies was about where he lives. He lives next to the apartment he told me. He said that’s because he lives with his dad and his dad is very sensitive to noise (he would get angry at him). He admitted after I confronted him 2x having difficulty delivering food to him. I forgave him.

Third time was about his ex again. He promised he wouldn’t contact his ex behind me but he did it again. He even asked his cousin to meet them at MOI although it didn’t happen (I read the chat). He told me he needed to talk to his ex about her unpaid credit card balance because the bank contacted him and demand for payment as he is her guarantor if she cannot pay her credit card balance. Apparently his ex was still mad because he was dating me so she told him off and asked him to get help from his current girlfriend (me). Hearing that I was so annoyed with his ex. Ungrateful bit**. Four months later, he confessed to me it wasn’t about his ex’s unpaid credit card balance but his, that he has used to pay for her living and expenses when they moved back to Indonesia. He was asking for her suggestion on how to deal with his problem when she told him off. He promised he won’t lie to me again.

Fourth was about his debt. He told me that he has not been paying taxes for 5 years when he lived in Europe and now the penalty is about 300%. It’s because he didn’t know he had to pay GST/VAT. The amount is huge and I was dumbfounded. He didn’t ask for my help, he said he can pay them off but he had to sell his car. I took his word. He also planned to go to Europe in mid-year 2021 to apply for leniency and wanted me to keep him accompany. I agreed to it. A month later, I found out that the money he paid was not purely about his unpaid tax, but also his loan. He lost control of the interest on his loan and it started to get to him. He promised there is nothing else he kept from me and will never lie.

Fifth lies is connected to the fourth, he said he hired a lawyer to take care of his matter in Europe but he actually just asked his friends about what to do in his situation. He never paid anyone to do his stuff. He was caught when I asked him to forward his convo with his lawyer and emails from the Bank. He forwarded edited email to me, I confronted him but he didn’t admit until the next day. At this stage, I got anxious and suspicious. Again, he promised he didn’t keep anything from me and will never lie.

The sixth lies was about me. On Sunday afternoon, I noticed that someone withdrew money from my bank account yesterday. I was so shock that I told him about it. He came to my house and helped me canceled that transaction. After checking again, my money was withdrawn last week too. I told him I gave my debit card photo to my insurance adviser because she asked but I covered the cvv code. He was nagging me about that matter and I felt so uneasy. We discussed about changing my debit card tomorrow but he told me be careful of what I said to the Bank because he cancelled a transaction, he could be in trouble. I understand what he meant, by reporting this case to the Bank or Police, I would have to expose what he did for me in the beginning too. I went online and do some case study. On Monday morning, I recheck my account history again for the past one month. I can’t believe I have been stolen 4x! since Feb 21 to March 20, one withdrawal per week. I would have lost a month salary if the last transaction didn’t get cancelled. I wanted to visit the Bank quick amid working hour, and my boyfriend insists to go with me. In the car, again, he asked me to be careful of what I said to the Bank.

My mind was floating when the bank staff called my queue number. All that my bf warned me before, gone off the window. I said I need to replace my debit card because it’s been compromised. Someone took my money thrice (I purposely left out the fourth one). The staff was not surprised and asked me if I have given my PIN number to anyone. I said no one knows (actually my bf knows). I was then given the location and time of the withdrawal and I can’t believe what I heard. All of it pointed to my bf. I requested cctv recording and it’s being processed but will take up to 10 days. After we left the Bank and sat in my car, I was so out of energy but still told him about it. He said you mean I took your money?? I denied and said of course you won’t do that to me. He said yeah he won’t do that to me. That night, I kept on checking our conversation on whatsapp and my head was prickling. On Tuesday, I called him and he said he wanted to talk to me in person. I told him to meet me at the mall, I can’t trust him to come to my home at that moment. We met at Central Park and he admitted that it was all his doing. I can’t feel anything. He confessed he needed money to pay his credit card’s interest. He was only able to pay all the capital but still left with interest that is still growing each time he is not paying. He planned to return the money in the future. Well, now it’s not about the money.. it’s his attitude, dishonesty and disrespect towards me that kill me. I broke up with him immediately. He was sorry but I can’t feel his sincerity anymore. Since then, I have been unable to sleep at night. I think about how he put on a show in front of me, being kind and all gentleman but steal from my back. We even had sex afterwards! I’m screaming in my heart. He bought me food and clothes using my money that I thought his. He still stole from me after he admitted to his sins above and after telling so many fake promises. I remember he told me twice he wouldn’t mind if I haven’t taken my shower at the weekend because he wanted to smell my body odor. Now that I think about it, he might be using the time I was in the shower up stair to try steal from me because I would have to leave him alone down stair. I remember his excuse to go out to buy drinks for us. I remember when I left my card holder and phone with him when I go to the toilet at the mall. I remember sometimes my brother left his wallet on the table. And this hit me. I need to check my brother’s account without him knowing. If he steals from my brother as well, it’s really too much. I don’t plan to report him to the authority. But if he steal from my bro as well, I will reconsider.

I think back about Europe trip, my sisters were right to warn me. I can’t tell what is the real him.. My parents might end up paying for his debt so that I could return home. It’s chilling and scary whenever I think about this. God bless his soul. As a devoted Christian himself, he has used Jesus’s name many times to swear in front of me. I hope he is really not a bad person. Just a situation that makes him that way. I can’t see having a faithful future with him.

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shoottomiss · 7 years ago

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Why Pacifica has more character than Wendy (And why that’s one of GF’s biggest issues)

I’ve technically already talked about this. Made a small little post about it way back when that pretty much covered it in one paragraph. But sometimes you feel like expanding on things like that, you know? Besides, It doesn’t really hurt to think about it a little more deeply.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen gravity falls? There will be spoilers here. So, enter if you dare.

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It’s no secret to those who know me that Gravity Falls is my favorite show of all time. It’s impact was what “saved” me from the “all new cartoons are bad” mindset, a thought process that plagued many during the cartoon channel dark age at the turn of the decade.

I’d say the only thing I’d actually hate about it is that terrible 3DS game, and even then I don’t dwell on that. However, it does serve as a reminder that like all shows, Gravity Falls doesn’t have a perfect track record. A show can minimize its mistakes, but at the end of the day, it will still end up making them from time to time. Gravity Falls in particular had a few problems of its own, from Dipper’s crush that just kept coming back, to Mabel’s difficult to digest at times childish antics.

But while both of these aspects can be justified, Gravity Falls’ biggest mistake is one that was never addressed or fixed. Which can be a big problem when it’s one of the main characters on your show.

It’s hard not to like the colorful band of characters Gravity Falls brings to the table. Whether it’s Dipper and his nerdy awkwardness, Mabel and her crazy antics, Soos the eccentric handyman, or Con-artist Grunkle Stan, it’s very likely you’ll come to enjoy at least one of them.

But one other character sticks out like a sore thumb, one that manages to share a bit of the spotlight with the other four, even though it feels like she doesn’t really deserve it.

Enter Wendy, the teenage cashier of the mystery shack. Wendy is the “Fonzie” of Gravity Falls, constantly doing awesome actions and saying cool stuff because she’s, well, cool and awesome. She often has sage teenage advice for Mabel or Dipper, handles dangerous situations like a pro, and is the main love interest for Dipper. On the surface, these traits make it seem like Wendy might be an interesting character. The reality however, is the exact opposite.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, Wendy is perhaps the most boring character on the show. Wendy may be cool and collected, but since it ain’t broke, there’s nothing to fix. There’s no emotional conflicts with her, no stories that center around her, and no flaws in her character to make her more interesting. She has little to offer towards anything in the story other than pushing it towards its next destination. Now sure, all characters are technically pushing the story forward at all times. But creators usually make it feel more natural, by having the characters be just the slightest bit complex, thereby making them seem less of an obvious tool.

Had she been a minor character, this wouldn’t have been as much of an issue. But Wendy is a major character, one that appears in the theme song and has been on adventures with the twins more than a few times. Yet constantly the most complex intricacies she displays are that of a wooden board (in fact, the board might have more to offer). She never changes, from the very beginning of the series to the very end. So why even put her up front at all? If she was going to act as more of a minor character, why have her anywhere near the spotlight the main characters have? There’s almost nothing to work with.

It doesn’t help that her only character traits can end up hurting her too. Especially the damn crush. The fact that the biggest things Wendy is involved in also involve Dipper’s crush on her 95% of the time can be extremely frustrating to deal with, way more than it is for Dipper’s character. These cases once make her feel like nothing more than a tool that moves others forward instead of herself.

Though it seems like that wasn’t always meant to be the case. There are inklings here and there, in certain episodes, where it seems like some sort of actual character is trying to explode out of Wendy, like some sort of literary chest-burster. Wendy’s emotions during Boyz Crazy, her feelings of being manipulated by Robbie and being hurt by Dipper’s naive disregard for how she felt, is a episodic-conflict that writes itself. But by the time we reach her in the next episode, it’s brushed off as nothing more than a passing feeling, that needed no follow up. Another two great possibilities to look into Wendy’s character happen within the same episode, Society of the Blind Eye.

Firstly, Wendy talks about to Mabel about her love troubles, where she decides to tell Mabel to forget about guys. Though it is her usual “teenage wisdom”, it presents us with a possible consequence of the numerous ex-boyfriends Wendy has had (as she lists off in Hand that Rocks the Mabel). Has she become disillusioned by dating, or love? Is she far more similar to Mabel than we realized, dreaming of having someone to hold and also reaching a dead end? Hell, is she discovering something about her sexuality?

The second opportunity is perhaps the biggest one, the one everyone remembers. Fearing their minds will be erased, Wendy admits that she’s actually extremely stressed all the time, and that it’s mainly a result of her family. Could it be because she’s the only woman in the house, especially with her mother gone? In fact, what happened to her mother? Could it be the way her father raised her, seeing as how he substituted Christmas with apocalypse survival training? Maybe it’s that she has to look after her brothers while her father is doing god knows what? It would certainly be nice to confirm why she’s always so calm and collected.

All of these possibilities would have worked, and would have helped Wendy’s character immensely. But instead, they too are abandoned, and Wendy is doomed to be as complex as a piece of string until the series ends.

I would also like to mention the rumor I’ve heard on the grapevine- that Wendy was indeed supposed to have an episode based around her, but it was dropped (if I recall correctly, it was because they decided to finish a different episode instead). Though I can’t confirm it, I will say that the “stressed all the time” point is definitely evidence for it.

Things get even worse when actual minor characters end up looking more interesting than Wendy, to the point where characters like Grenda and Robbie, fucking Robbie, are characters who have managed to receive better development within the bits and pieces of a single episode. But none stole Wendy’s potential quite more than Pacifica Northwest.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love Pacifica and what Alex gave her. In fact I admit I support the relationship between the llama and a certain pine tree. But if we are to once again be honest with ourselves, as a two-dimensional mean girl bully character meant only to be an obstacle for Mabel’s goals, Pacifica had far more development than she ever deserved to have.

It’s strange to think that people would latch onto Pacifica, despite her having so little to work with. Perhaps it was the slight lampshade hanging over her, or that her version of the character archetype was so amusing, but people loved her. How much, you ask? Enough to catch Alex by surprise and convince him to make an episode centered around her. It was a strange occurrence, to say the least.

Season 2 began, and by the third episode, we already began getting a taste of Pacifica’s new development, seeing the pressure put on her by her father. But it wasn’t until Northwest Mansion Mystery where Pacifica was fully expanded upon, showing us new twists in her character. She could be rather nice when not obsessed with “looking rich”, she began showing remorse for her foul behavior, and the one thing that stuck with everyone the most- that her parents were very likely abusive. Pacifica’s popularity in the fandom skyrocketed, and she’s been a favorite ever since. People even went so far as to get angry when her character seemingly regressed in the finale, and for some, it’s the only thing in said finale they consider bad.

But Pacifica’s increasing popularity also increased the problem on Wendy’s side. While people were waiting for Pacifica to show up in episodes after, Wendy’s appearances would be received with a more “come and go” attitude. How Wendy would impact the story from here wasn’t anyone’s biggest concern, and any action or appearance she made would be acknowledged, then brushed aside. Meanwhile there were theories a plenty about how Pacifica would become involved later on. It isn’t hard to see why.

It created what I’d like to call the “character paradox”, where Pacifica seemed far more viable as a major character despite being a minor character, while Wendy looked more fit to be a minor character instead of a major one.

However, this also created another problem on Pacifica’s side. A problem similar, but different to Wendy’s. When the series ended, and Pacifica’s only other appearances were cameos and and small bits in the finale, fans became upset that Pacifica didn’t have more time given to her. Things that they wanted Alex to expand upon, like how Pacifica would deal with the bell, her relationship with one or both of the Pines twins, and so on. Alex gave them a bone, not realizing they would be swarming for more. Now admittedly, it is partially the fans’ fault for assuming we would get more out of such a small time character, but that other part has to go somewhere. And unfortunately, Alex and his crew are that somewhere, starving one girl character so much that the fans scrambled for the next best thing.

And why wouldn’t they? There were paths you could explore with Wendy or Pacifica that you just couldn’t do with Mabel. Yes, obvious things like possible romance, but also other aspects, like their families (which would be much different from Mabel, since many of her family problem’s are also Dipper’s), or hell, their possible interactions other characters, or with each other.

But we were cut off on both ends. After everything was said and done, and the series was over, neither character felt complete. We were left with two underdeveloped characters instead of one or two fully developed characters.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the show is bad now, far from it. It’s a big problem, yes, but not enough to make Gravity Falls anything short of amazing. But when it came to this aspect of the show, it certainly does feel like Alex’s priorities were a bit skewed. I think fans would have preferred an episode about either of these two rather than an episode where Dipper learns to not be a womanizing jerk (don’t think we need an entire episode for that).

And hell, it’s not as bad as how much Rebecca keeps Connie from doing after four fucking seasons.

#gravity falls #wendy corduroy #pacifica northwest #dipper pines #alex hirsch #mabel pines #soos ramirez #boyz crazy #hand that rocks the mabel #golf war #northwest mansion mystery #weirdmageddon #march of the sterling jester #connie maheswaran #steven universe #rebecca sugar

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jojokillah · 4 years ago

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Arranging my thoughts

My main focus would be to be calm and not having really bad vibes.

I have bad vibes because i moved in with my gf after i was away for more than a year, and weeks later we broke up. Now i'm spending time writing this post, because she invited me to watch Big Bang Theory out of the blue. There's an episode i already saw like 3 times.

I moved to this city because i had a job offer and she said i can live with her. That was a job i liked, it was my favourite job ever. My plan went like this: I work, i will earn enough to buy the neccessary stuff i need to stay alive, i work 4 hours then i continue building my web application,learn new stuff along the way and will have some decent project to put in my portfolio.

The plan didn't work. At all. I was dirt poor since the beginning of the story. I got the job, borrowed some money from my gf (now ex) and my parents to buy the neccessary stuff to stay alive (meds that changed my life for the better but very expensive since it' not available in my country at all).

I took the most amazing pill ive ever took for work and after some time, reality knocked me out cold. It didn't work. I got scammed. By the vendor who always delivered perfect stuff.

Then i had to rely on a green plant to function as a human being so i had to borrow more money.And more.It wouldn't be a problem, i had the job, i pay it back.

I recovered from the last punch and a month later BAM! Another punch, perfect connection. I lost my job. Due to corona, all universities got closed and i was working at an art university.

From the payment i got (half of what it would be if i dont lose my job), i payed my debts to everyone and had to find another job, fast. Because if i don't, its game over for me.

I knew i couldn't work as a cashier since i hate people and got fired after two days when i was a cashier back then. I couldn't work anything that i could endure and earn as much as i need, but the clock is ticking in every minute. My ex did let me live in a room till i work and do what she asks for, but i lost my income to get the plant and the pills are fake...I still couldn't recover from this..i did not took them for more than one and a half year, so it's not a tolerance problem, and no meds helped me with my depression and non-existent energy that any psychiatrist ever prescribed.Nootropics are the meds i need, but in my country, forget about it. You either get shitty ssris, snris, antipsychotics and tranquilizers. (xanax, kpins etc.).

Once a psychiatrist prescribed me a med, the brand does not matter, it was Vinpocetine, only once, and i had to beg to my regular doctor to prescribe this for me every month, and it was expensive as hell. It sure was a nootropic but i needed crazy amounts to feel slightly better, so i dropped it.

Without any working substance due to no income, i'm failing to do the tasks my ex asked me to do, because im a living dead. I'm diagnosed with MADD (Mixed anxiety–depressive disorder) and SPD (Schizoid personality disorder).

I was desperate and still had some green plant (kratom), so i jumped into job hunting.I found a job that pays well and i can do it, i applied and thought: "Whatever, no way they even care".

I was wrong.I got a call from some guy, who said he liked my introduction on the application form, after a little talk he said he will mention me to the leader as a potential employee, and i still felt like whatever, pretty low change the leader will call me.

I was wrong again, after like 45 minutes the guy invited me to an interview a day after. I got dressed as fly as i could, almost stepped out the door and saw the leader is calling me. I thought: "Yeah, here comes the we found someone better bs, as usual.", but actually he said he is ill so do a Zoom meeting.

I was nervous as hell, since i knew i have a change and i must nail the interview. We spoke for approx. 45 minutes then he invited me to the company to meet with the other tech guys there.

I went there, the technical stuff i have to do just blasted my brain out of my skull like a shotgun. I was as focused as a motherfuckin sniper and still didnt get what the fuck the guy is doing..two guys were there who started this just like me and told so many things and details i asked:

Could i record you guys?

Then a convo started.

-Why?

-To listen it again and again to comprehend what i need to know.

-No, i don't like the idea. Write notes.

(I was pissed tho, cmon, hes talking about software and nothing illegal or anything i could use against him. Why would i do that anyway? I wanna work here. Fuck me, notepad)

-Okay...

(He was talking a lot and i couldnt even keep up, and the best thing: I forglt to save ( i use VSCode a lot and autosave is turned on for me, so by reflex i didn't save manually.)

I went home, they guys said they will put me in a group, this didnt happen, and i messaged one of them, he saw it and didnt reply.

The leader called me the next day.He said there was nothing wrong with me, but im not ready yet, so he will call me in a few days to tell me when should i go in again to learn.

And i'm like...whatever. I highly doubt he will. Or he will call me with the "sry we found someone better" bs.

I just wait, and every second feels like an hour, but in reality, im running out of time, and if i don't get this job, i....

I'm scared to think about it.

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turtlechoxolate · 7 years ago

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Im so tired of seeing people post shit like this, talking about "its not trust issues, its called not wanting to look stupid again."

Like bro. So what if you looked stupid when the last chick cheated on you or whatever? Who the fuck cares? Aint nobody gonna come up to you and be like "bro, she cheated on you? You hella dumb bro. How'd you let that happen?" If they do then theyre an asshole and you need better friends. Fuck all this shit about love being hard and we need to build walls to see who cares enough to break em down. Fuck all this shit saying im afraid to fall in love. Bitch no the fuck youre not. Youre afraid of what other people will think of you if you fall in love and WHO THE FUCK CARES? Nobody cares about your new gf. Nobody cares if she cheated on you and youre heartbroken and "never again." Im so fucking tired of seeing that shit. Cross oceans for people even if they dont wanna cross puddles for you. Sometimes we have to give 80% to someone only giving you 20% cause it aint always sunshine and rainbows. Youre gonna argue. Frankly, if you dont argue even a little bit. That relationship aint real. Gey your head out of your ass and see that life aint about getting hurt once or twice or every time you date and then saying fuck men or fuck women or i aint never dating again or "im crazy cause the last dhde cheated on me be prepared for random phone checks cause i aint tryna to look stupid anymore." NO BITCH WTF. Trust issues man. They kill relationships and drink its blood bro. You gotta trust a person even if theyre last gf said she cheated on her. You gotta trust that not everyone is the same and that people do change. Bro. Dont hold the new guy or girl accountable for the shit your ex did. Theyre not your ex. They didnt cheat on you and just cause a bro liked some other chick's instagram pic dont mean hes gonna cheat. Like lord. People are attractive, let a man look. Let a lady look. Just cause they looking dont mean theyre touching bro wtf. Stop being so stuck up about relationships. Stop thinking that your relationships owe you something because the last dude or chick hurt you. Also, crazy isnt cute ladies. Shut the fuck up you arent bipolar. You arent gonna stab a dude cause he liked some shit online. Be a better human being than the person that cheated on you or hurt you. Be a better person and love whoever comes next despite the last dude's words or dick not staying in his pants. We are human and we make mistakes and its OKAY. do i gotta repeat myself? Ill say it loudly. For those in the back. ITS OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES.

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stennnn06 · 7 years ago

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(1) I remember reading your answer on jealousy, loving the fact that someone shares my belief on that issue. My gf is currently on a vacation in Spain with her dance friends, sharing a bed with another girl, wearing bikinis here and there, surrounded by beautiful people and I keep telling her, "have fun, babe. I love you." And my friend is all like, "dude you gotta give her some boundaries." And I'm like, "she's a fucking adult, she makes her own boundaries. And she loves me. I trust in that."

(2) Don't expect me to be one of those obnoxious possessive crazy fuckboys who'd give their gf lists of things they're not allowed to do while going out or on vacation. I've read some of them and seriously, "no eye contact with boys", "don't show any skin", "don't take drugs, I'll give you a test once you get home" etc, why would anyone stay with people like that? It's not a relationship. It's practically ownership, you're not their partner, you're a slave.

yeah that’s not love, that’s insecurity manifesting in horrific ways. people mistake that as being cared for when truly it is something else - a desire to control. i was in a relationship before where my ex made me feel like i wasn’t loving her properly or enough if i had the audacity to have a life, basically. she had to come before all things, including family, and sorry, that’s not realistic, nor is it sustainable. its abusive. on the flip side, you’ll notice those same people doing whatever they want without regard for your feelings...disregarding your own boundaries, and your own personal comfort just to make you ‘prove’ yourself. none of that is healthy. in a true supportive healthy relationship, you don’t feel burdened or stressed - there is a place for all of you, and all the things you need to be a healthy person- family, friends, hobbies, alone time, etc. and just as you said... like, she’s an adult. your girlfriend can make her own choices. you aren’t her parent or her slave owner. people need freedom to thrive, or they will feel trapped and shackled. and once they feel like that - i can almost guarantee they’ll leave. so good for you mate! glad your girl has you, you’re lovely.

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ahmyhotdog · 7 years ago

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Hyperion

RP w/ @milessomnia }{ Part 4 / ? }{ 1, 2, 3

The ex-Knight slept on for a while. He was groggy when first waking up Sleeping outside like this was never easy, but it wasn’t as if they hadn’t been used to doing this before. It was when he reached for Zell that things started to go all wrong. He wasn’t there. “Zell? …Zell?!”

Zell was slow on his leg, but even still with as long Seifer was out he had limped most of the way back toward the docks.

His body still sore Seifer could only think of one place Zell would have gone. If he ran he could probably catch him before he did something stupid.

Being hurt Zell was trying to stay hidden. When he got closer to the warehouses he tried to walk along one. His knee throbbed. He was sure all the limping he did nothing but agitated the injury.

There was laughter inside. Though it was all mixed. Some angry that the Knight had gotten away and others bragging about everything they’d been able to do. But the one thing they were all quite proud of was getting their hands on his weapon. Now most of them were quite drunk. All too occupied with drink and conversation to notice anything else.

Making his way to the door Zell would slowly nudge it open before peeking in. Zell would watch for a few minutes eyes looking around for Seifer’s beloved gunblade.

Seifer’s gun blade was perched up on display like some kind of trophy. It was easy to spot, just behind the laughing group.

Still wearing his gloves he was about as ready for combat as he was going to be. Slipping inside Zell pressed himself against the wall and started to use whatever he could find to duck behind or just risk walking along the wall.

A fight broke out among a couple of the more drunk and rowdy people. Bumping around and throwing each other into the nearby netting and stacks of crates.

Seeing the drunks start to fight an idea hit Zell. Ducking behind some crates he would clench his fists again and focusing on the Brothers. If he couldn’t fight, then he would settle in trying to scare the drunks off with the GF.

Well….That did the trick. Especially for most who didn’t even know what a GF was. Which was pretty much all of them. Drunk and scared shitless by the sudden appearance they scattered. Scrambling over each other to try and get out.

While he had his distraction Zell tried to force himself to limp fast to reach the gunblade.

It worked fine. Until a few figured out what was going on upon seeing Zell. “Hey!!!”

“Shit..!” Grabbing the gunblade he tried to make hurry away before the GF had faded away completely.

The group started coming back together. Angry and shouting as they grabbed whatever was nearest that they could use as weapons in pursuit of Zell.

“Get back!” He yelled. “I don’t want to hurt any of you!” His leg continued to throb to the point where Zell was finding it hard to keep limping as he was.

He wouldn’t have to limp for long. Seifer came around a corner. Finally having caught up. He was slightly out of breath, but obviously upset. “Zell!”

Holding the gunblade in one hand Zell stopped and turned to the drunks. Pointing his free hand at the ground his hand gave a faint icy glow. He was going to make the floor slick, but he still needed to gather energy to cast.

“Idiot…,” Seifer hurried over he grabbed his blade from the blonde. “Don’t bother just run! I’ll take care of this.”

Zell frowned as the blade was snatched from him. Resting his hand on his leg Zell started to limp.

The ex-Knight faced the crowed. “….Stay the fuck away from us!” He hated doing this, but the situation called for it. Raising his hand, a blast of fire spread out catching all the nearby netting, and wood. Quickly it started spreading making its way to the docks. The mob had a tough decision. Pursue them, or save their livelihoods. Didn’t take long for them all to turn and start calling for water. Seifer put Hyperion away and went to catch up with Zell.

Zell hadn’t gotten far. He was leaning against the wall while holding his leg in pain.

“C'mon,” Seifer moved up beside Zell and picked him up. “We can’t hang around…”

Being picked up Zell would quickly wrap an arm around his shoulders.

Once clear of the FH and back on the old tracks Seifer put the brawler down. “The hell were you thinking?!”

Put back down Zell sat on the half-wall. His eyes were glued to the ground. “I think it’s obvious what I was thinking.”

“This?!” He pulled out Hyperion and then slammed the blade down so it became embedded in the tracks. “This means nothing compared to you!”

Zell shrunk a bit at the sound of the blade stinking in the ground. “I wasn’t.. I, I..” He couldn’t lift his gaze to look up at Seifer. “I just wanted to make you smile.”

He fell down on his knees in front of Zell. Reaching forward he made to hold the other’s head between his hands. “…I can live without it…But I can’t live without you. You’re what makes me smile.”

His eyes watered and very quickly Zell started to cry. Staring down at the other he felt more upset with himself over anything. “I’m sorry. I thought they would flee when I summoned the Brothers only to scare them. And it’s your gunblade. You don’t have that many things you cherish…”

“I could lose everything I own and I’d be fine…. So long as I still had you.” Leaning forward he closed what little distance there was and kissed him.

“I… Feel stupid. Idiot. I’m so dumb.” Rubbing his face Zell wrapped his arms around Seifer to pull him closer.

“…You’re not an idiot…You’re not dumb and you are not stupid.” He held him tight. “I love you. Had you been one hundred percent I wouldn’t be this upset.”

“I’m sorry… I really didn’t mean to worry you.”

He let out a breath and rested his head on Zell’s shoulder. “It’s alright…You’re alright. ”

“We’re both alright. You and me.” He rested a hand on Seifer’s head.

“Yeah.” He sat back and looked at his leg. “Saw you limping pretty bad. ”

“Yeah, it’s hurting like crazy…” Zell looked down at his leg. It was swollen around his knee.

“You shouldn’t have been up on it. Here.” Seifer put his hands over the brawler’s knee. When it came to people he knew he was a bit warmer than most. Hopefully the heat would help some.

Zell sat still as Seifer laid his hands on his knee. He took a sharp breath, but once he relaxed the heat at least felt good. “Yeah well, that’s what happens when I have silly ideas.”

“Need to get a doctor to check this out.” He let out a breath.

“Fat chance we’ll find one in FH…” Zell tilted his head.

“Which is why I’m taking you to Esthar.”

He sighed, “My ma is going to kill me when she finds out what happened.”

“Kill you? Hah….I’m the one she made promise to watch after you.”

“What, seriously?” He couldn’t help but give a light chuckle and shook his head. He held a hand up as he gave a sympathetic look. “How about we don’t tell her I might have broken my leg and set a warehouse caught fire.”

“Might have?” He gave Zell a look. “Your knee was completely busted and you went and used magic on it. Probably healed wrong.”

“Well–it was either leaving it busted or chance that mob chasing us and not being able to run.” Zell frowned. The idea that his leg would have to be rebroken to set right made his stomach uneasy.

“The quicker we get to Esthar the quicker this can get fixed before anything permanent sets in. Don’t worry. They’ll knock you out if they have to break and reset it.”

“Haha… don’t remind me. The thought of being knocked out in general sucks.” Then he groaned. “Not to mention I wonder if I can walk after that.”

“Might be a while but you’ll be okay.”

“Mhn, if I remember it takes about all night to walk from here to the Salt Lake.”

He sighed and then moved so that he was kneeling in front of Zell with his back at him again. “Then we better get going. C'mon.”

Zell reached out to climb back on Seifer’s back. “I’ll make this up to you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” As before he got up with Zell on his back and started walking.

Zell kept his arms wrapped around Seifer, but not too tightly. “Let me at least do something… I feel bad.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know… Something. What would you want?”

“I’m not really thinking about later chicky. More concerned with just getting us out of here.”

“Huh… I just thought of something. Crap.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“We left everything. That means our supplies and food.” He thumped is head between Seifer’s shoulders.

“Ow, watch it…I’m still sore damn it.”

“….sorry.”

“We’ll be fine. We’re trained for situations like this.”

“True, guess I won’t be very useful hunting.”

“Just leave it to me.” He had to adjust himself a bit but kept on going.

“If you’re hunting then I’ll cook.”

“Heh… Alright..” He had to let Zell do something.

Zell smiled happily before giving Seifer a kiss on the neck.

“Going to be a long walk…”

“Could tell you a story to pass the time,” he hummed only partly joking.

“Nah… Rest up. I’m going to try and get us as far as I can.”

“Don’t push yourself too much. Not good if we’re both tired.”

“Stop worrying. I’m made of tougher stuff.”

“I can’t help it…? You’d worry if it were the other way around.” He leaned his head against his shoulder.

“The other way around you’d have a hell of a time trying to help me anywhere….”

“Heeey, I’m pretty strong. I could lift you easy.”

“I know, but considering your height versus mine it’d be ridiculous.”

“Mm, don’t know. Maybe I’d have to carry you across my shoulders. You know, one leg, one arm sort of thing. Not like how you like to carry me.”

“Hyne….I hope to hell and back that you never do…”

“I can’t help it you know,” he said softly.

“I know. Just try to rest up or something, I mean it this time.”

He shook his head lightly against the shoulder. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what?”

“With you. I can’t stop myself. You know how I am with people. How I have to help. With you…its like a compulsion. I have to help you. If there’s something wrong I can’t just sit aside and watch you be unhappy. It hurts.”

“That’s what happen when you love someone Zell….You’ll do anything for them. Throw the whole damn world away just to see them smile. Face the things that frighten you most just to give them what they deserve. Bleed for them. Now down to someone else in order to keep them safe. When you love someone that much it’s to hell with the consequences so long as that person can live.”

He clenched his eyes as a hand moved to rest just over Seifer’s heart. “It feels more than that… Like, this job, I put my life on the line for complete strangers. I might not come home one day–and… I don’t know. I don’t know if I can put it into words. I know the thing with your gunblade was stupid, and maybe we could have found a new but… You just were not happy. It hurt a lot. Like in the pit of my chest, and all I could think about was how to make you smile again. Because you’re worth far more to me than a stranger.”

“Well I certainly hope I’d be more important than some random stranger. Zell…Sure, the gunblade has a lot of sentimental value. When I use it, it feels like an extension of myself. The thing is, like losing a limb, you can learn and adapt to live without it. But when you lose someone you love, someone who becomes something like your other half. A part of you even deeper than your soul….” He swallowed hard. He hardly ever let his talking open up this much into how he felt. And it scared him. “When you lose that there is no recovering. No way to adapt to a life without them.”

Zell would shift a bit as his arms would tighten around Seifer’s in a tight hug. “I’m trying. I don’t always think before I run. Once I get an idea of something that I think will make you smile I can’t get it out of my head.” Opening his eyes Zell would turn his head so he could look out at the ocean. “I don’t ever want to lose you. You are my other half,” Zell said as he had no qualms about speaking freely. “I know what losing someone does. I saw it with my ma and pa.”

“That’s fine. I don’t want you changing who you are Zell. I expect those crazy ideas to come along. Most of the time they aren’t half bad. Sometimes you just need someone to hold you back. Just like I need you to push me forward. We can’t predict where we’ll end up. But hey, so far it hasn’t been all that bad. A lot worse could be happening. So…I think we’re doing alright.”

“So… you don’t regret agreeing to this trip then..?” He asked with some hesitation.

“No, why would I? Zell, I never expect things go easy. Sometimes they do and I get surprised. But I’d rather be prepared and expect the worse and nothing happen than the other way around. Besides….I’m with you.”

He couldn’t help but smile. “Maybe that’s why we work so well together. You always expect the worst and I only see the best.” When they were a bit further away from FH Zell had taken his gloves off and shoved them into his pants pockets. The toll of all of the excitement from the day was catching up to Zell. It didn’t help watching the water was rhythmic and trance inducing when paired with the sounds. The air smelled sort of like Balamb. Easing Zell to relax and drift off into sleep.

“Urgh,” Zell mumbled as he pressed his forehead against Seifer’s back. “My leg feels like it’s on fire… It’s hurting pretty crazy.”

Seifer looked back over his shoulder at Zell. He’d been walking for what felt like hours now. The previous strain on his body and now this starting to catch up with him. “It’ll be alright chicky.”

“Can we stop? Even if it’s just for a little bit.?” Zell was trying to reach around Seifer’s arm to touch his leg.

He was a little worried about stopping. If he did he wondered if he’d be able to keep going with the same momentum. Seifer gave a sigh and nodded his head. “Alright, careful.” Stopping, he knelt in order to let Zell off his back.

Zell was careful to get off. At that point, he didn’t even try to put any weight on his left leg and stood nearly hopping on the good one. Holding his hands out Zell would manage to lean against the half wall. “Hyne… Does it look any worse than earlier?”

He frowned as he took a look. The swelling hadn’t gotten any better. The skin discolored slightly. “…Zell…I might have to be the one to try and fix this.”

Zell held his breath at the sound of that. His hands would grip the wall a bit more tightly.

He looked at his boyfriend, “Do you trust me?”

He bit his lip and nodded. “I.. shouldn’t be standing up though.”

“I’ll help you down.” He offered him a hand.

“If we’re breaking my leg we’re going to at least tie a splint to it.”

“I know the drill Zell.” He rolled his eyes and then let out a breath. “Rebreak it, splint, I’ve got some cure on me. No walking on it at all though once I’m done.”

He shook his head. “Well, sorry I feel nervous alright? I know we’re trained.. But it’s still my leg.”

Seifer looked up and took Zell’s head between his hands. “I know. And I’m going to take care of it, and you. You’ll be running around and doing flips like normal in no time.”

He took a shaky breath and nodded. “Alright. Yeah…” Looking at Seifer he tried to smile through his nervousness. “Maybe we can break a pipe off somewhere and tie my jacket to my leg…?” Without bandages Zell wasn’t sure what they could use.

“We lost your jacket back in FH, but my coat is already shredded up pretty bad. We can use it.”

He wasn’t going to argue and nodded. “Okay… Help me lay down,” Zell said before holding his arms out to Seifer.

He did his best to carefully help Zell down. Once he was on the ground Seifer took a step back, removing his belt and then handing it to Zell. “Bite down on it. Don’t want you biting your tongue on accident.”

There was a feeling a dread washing over Zell as he laid there. Taking the offered belt, he would bend it in half before sticking it into his mouth. Looking at his leg Zell would look away and up at Seifer. It was clear how worried he looked.

Before he did anything else the ex-Knight found a few things that he could use to help act a brace for making the splint. It was easy to tear off fabric from his coat. That out of the way he knelt back down next to Zell’s leg. “Alright. On the count of three.”

The longer he had to wait the more nervous he felt as he watched Seifer rip his coat. Once he was next to his leg Zell would stay completely flat on his back. Still with the belt in his mouth Zell would cover his head with his hands and nodded.

“One, two-” He didn’t even wait for three in order to rebreak the brawler’s leg. He worked fast so he could splint and cast a cure, albeit uncomfortably, over it.

With the leg broken again and pain shot through his body, Zell screamed, though muffled only by the belt as he bit harshly on it. As much as Zell wanted to roll about in pain he managed to stay still long enough for Seifer to tie the split to his leg. He was panting by the time he could feel the soothing touch of the cure spell. There were tears in his eyes as Zell took the belt out of his mouth.

When he was finished Seifer moved so he could kiss Zell’s forehead and hold him. “S'all done….”

Accepting the comfort Zell would soak it up. The pain wasn’t nearly as great after the spell. Looking up once more at Seifer, Zell would reach up and touch the side of his face.

Seifer looked tired. More so than usual. The stress of having gone through the earlier mess with the people in Fisherman’s Horizon and until this point had really taken its toll. “Alright?”

“Yeah. I need to rest before we move again, okay?” There was some worry still in his eyes, but it was more for Seifer. He could see the exhaustion in his face. And while Zell wasn’t as tired because he wasn’t walking, he couldn’t bring himself to make Seifer continue just yet.

“Alright, just a bit longer.”

Zell smiled and nuzzled into the other a bit. Closing his eyes Zell started to hum softly.

Seifer was doing all he could to stay awake. He wasn’t doing all that good of a job though. He soon found himself closing his eyes and starting to fall asleep.

Using his hands Zell would push himself a bit closer so he could sit up a little and lean against Seifer. It was cold out on the water and Seifer did generate a lot of heat. Once finding a way to sit without bothering his leg Zell too would closer his eyes and let himself fall asleep the best he could.

He wasn’t sure how long he had been asleep, But Zell surely felt stiff upon waking up. There was a small groan as he tried to stretch his arms.

He woke when he felt Zell moving around next to him. A frown on his face as he realized how long they’d spent in that spot. “Damn…”

“Heh,” Zell couldn’t help but give a dumb smile as he looked up at Seifer. “At least you got to rest.”

“Still feel like I’ve been run over by a truck…”

“That’s, kind of understandable. They beat the crap out of you. And then when that one dude smashed my knee you got all scary looking.” He would fidget by playing with the hem of his tank top. "You had this look in your eyes… and then the air around you got really hot…”

“I don’t know…What I do know is that they hurt you. And they’re damn lucky I only had that bat.”

Zell leaned his head against the other. “I know. I still can’t believe any of that really happened. Like I’m going to wake up and we’ll be in Balamb again.”

“Yeah…But we’re a long ways Balamb right now.” He put his arm around the other.

“Mm…” he perked up at little as an idea came to him. “The first thing we do when we get to Esthar is look for ser Laguna.”

“Squall’s old man? What the hell is he going to do?”

“Get a hold of B-Garden? Tell them where we are. Figure out what the hell to do next. Somehow I doubt you want to sit in a strange city while my leg heals for however long.”

“We might have to…” He let out a breath. “If Garden is busy with some shit and we’re in a place that is ‘safe’ they probably won’t bother with us.”

Zell frowned and looked away. “I still feel angry,” he admitted calmly.

“…Me too.”

“At them?” Zell looked up at Seifer.

“Yeah…and myself too. I really don’t want to get into that conversation though. Too damn tired.”

“I think I’m too tired to either.” He closed his eyes. “We can rest a bit longer if you like.”

He thought it over for a moment, "A bit longer. Then we get moving.”

Zell gave a tired smile as he again nuzzled into Seifer for warmth. “Just a little.”

After a few minutes Seifer gave a sigh and started to move, “Let’s get going.”

Sitting up Zell rubbed his neck. “Yeah sure.” Looking at his leg Zell tried to get up without having to use it. He pressed his back and arms against the wall before planting his right foot on the ground. Little by little he would push himself up a bit before hopping on his right leg to propel him further.

“…Next time let me help you, alright? I know you want to be able to do these things. But I’d rather you be able to actually use that leg later.”

“What do you mean? I didn’t stand on the bad one.” Once he was standing Zell would use the wall to lean on and keep him standing.

“You don’t have the normal balance like you would usually.” He let out a breath. “I just want to make sure you don’t use it by accident. Humor me alright?”

Zell smiled. “Alright, if it’ll make you feel better. I kind of figured you still wanted to carry me anyway.”

“As if I’m going to let you hobble around. You’ve got options, back or bridal.”

“….Whatever you find easier. I’m just the sack of potatoes.”

He reached out and flicked his forehead. “Don’t say that again.” Soon as he was done talking he knelt down with his back to Zell. “C'mon”

“Ow… It was just a joke, geez.” Rubbing his forehead Zell leaned forward before climbing onto Seifer’s back. “On the plus side, we’ll know we’re getting toward the end of the bridge when we see the abandon train station at the end. Then it’s the Great Salt Lake from there.”

“Shouldn’t be much further then.”

“Nope. At the end of the of the lake is the OCS. It’s hard to find the ladder from the camouflage. But there’s a blinking light in the air to show where the button is.”

“A ladder huh?” He adjusted himself a bit as he walked. “That’ll be fun getting you up.”

“Heeey, with you carrying me I’ll just hop up the rungs on my right leg.” Smiling Zell would lift his hands and start to comb his fingers through Seifer’s hair. “Just remember who you’re with. I know a lot of things. Plus, we hand to travel through here before.”

“I just…I want you to be careful. I know better than most how important your legs and your hands are to you.”

“I know…” He would continue touching Seifer’s hair in hopefully to release some of his stress. “Or wait, idea. You can climb up ahead. And I’ll hop up on the ladder. But you can reach down and pull me up?”

“..And how high does the ladder go?”

“Uh…” He tried to remember but couldn’t quite remember. “Taller than you easily. I remember when the hatch opened it looked like it was floating in the air.”

He gave a sigh, “Well we’ll find out when we get there. Then we will problem solve.”

“Mm… Trying to think if there’s anything important to tell you before we get there. Since you like being prepared and all. Oh! Fiends–That would be important to know. I mean, unless you already know about the area.”

“I’ve been there…But it’s kind of fuzzy. I was really stuck in my head by then.”

“Mm…” He slid his hands down to Seifer’s shoulders and rubbed. “Let’s see… There’s Bite Bugs and Caterchipillar like at home–Oh! And Glacial Eyes. I think the worst things you can run into are Malboro, but they’re so big it would be hard for one to sneak up on us. Just trying to remember… After the Lunar Cry, there were a lot more nastier things roaming about.”

“We’ll make do. You can work on being an extra set of eyes for me.”

“Yes sir!” He smiled. “I’ll be the best look out ever.”

At least that gave Zell something to do. “I think I can make something out ahead.”

“Is it a hotdog?” He joked.

“The old station you mentioned.”

“Great! We can rest there if you need it. Or we can keep going. But at least we’ll be away from the water. In spite of the Great Salt Lake being called a lake it’s quite dead there, and there’s no water–I remember reading about in in a Timber mag some time ago. I forget who wrote it.”

“…By the way, you doing alright after using those GFs?”

His hands stopped as Zell lowered his gaze. “Just a little fuzzy… –I’ll be fine, I promise! I only used it because I had no other choice.” Fine like forgetting his lack of jacket when suggesting to use it for the splint.

“The brothers aren’t an easy one to use. That’s pretty much two GFs at once. Be careful alright?”

“I-I know. They’re just, really excitable and friendly…” Zell couldn’t help but smile. “Whenever I got bored they would tell jokes in my head. Eh… Sorry. I know they’re a touchy subject. Aside from the memory loss they weren’t that bad. At least the ones I got along with more.”

“S'fine. Not a subject we can really get away from all that easy.”

“I guess it’s a good thing Ifrit didn’t take as much a liking to me as the Brothers did.”

“You’re lucky, even with the junction off I can’t seem to get Ifrit to leave me alone.”

“I’m not trying to make you worry, but that sounds really weird. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of GF’s talking when not junctioned.”

Seifer finally stopped and helped Zell get down so they both could rest a bit. “Surprised Squall never told you seeing as how he and Shiva like to have nice lil conversations with each other.”

Helped down Zell would sit not wanting to worry Seifer. “Wait, are you serious? He never–” He frowned. “Why wouldn’t he tell anyone?”

“Think really hard about it. If you told someone you were having conversations with an unjunctioned GF what would happen?”

“Yeah, but he could have told one of us. I mean you told me about it and I didn’t wig out.”

“That’s because you know what they are capable of…Anyone else would flip out. Besides it isn’t exactly something that’s easy to talk about.”

“I guess…” He glanced down at the ground. “I mean I grew up around them like we all did. So, it’s just normal to talk about GFs and the weird things they do.” Looking up again Zell cupped a hand over his eyes to help him see in the distance. “I think I see some of those Glacial Eye. You know those things you can draw a lot of Cure magic form.”

“Not everyone was in the GF program…” He sighed and stood up. “Stay here. I’ll see about stocking up.”

“Like I have much of a choice.” He shrugged. “If I see anything I’ll holler.”

Seifer bent down and gave Zell a kiss before taking out Hyperion and heading out.

Kissing Seifer back Zell couldn’t help but sigh a little. He was sure this was just as frustrating for him as it was for Seifer.

Seifer was out for a while. Though tough he’d gone up against worse than the Glacial Eyes. Still it left him on the tired side by the time he got back.

Zell wasn’t where Seifer had left him. But it was easy to see the trail in the dirt of him scooting across the dirt to a column he was leaning against. Looking up at Seifer, Zell offered a smile. “Hey there good lookin’ come here often?”

He raised a brow at the other. Apart from looking a bit tired he seemed fine. “Oh I bet just all the girls and boys fall for you…”

“Nah, just this one incredible guy that everyone seems to think is an asshole.”

“Not many that would argue he isn’t.” Walking over he ruffled Zell’s hair.

Zell smiled a bit brighter when his hair was ruffled. “You look like you need a break.”

“Tch,“ He sat down next to Zell. "Going to need a vacation from this 'vacation’ of ours…”

“Pff… Could always hang around Esthar instead of the old orphanage if you want. 'Sides, it’s not like all of this made you afraid of going outside.”

“…S'not the monsters that bother me.”

“Hey… It’s okay. We’re okay. We don’t have to go back there again.”

He let out a breath as he leaned back and closed his eyes.

Zell reached to take one of Seifer’s hands and start to rub it.

“Sorry, not exactly at my best, am I?”

“You’re where you should be. At lot happened in the past twenty-four hours.” Zell would keep at it. Kneading his thumbs into Seifer’s palm.

Normally he had his gloves on. Somewhere along the line though he’d lost them. “How’s the leg?”

“Better than it was before. It doesn’t ache as bad. Not walking on it, so I’m not bothering it.”

“Think you’re ready to head out?”

“If you’re not tired. At least it’s just a lake we have to cross.”

“I’m about as ready as I can be right now chicky.”

He nodded. “Alright. I’ll be your eyes then.”

After Seifer got Zell on his back he took them into the lake.

The actual area was nice to look at. What once was a lake had been long destroyed. All that was left were larger than life animal bones, salt deposits, and the fiends roaming the area.

“…Damn…There’s a lot more fiends around here than I thought there would be.”

“Not a lot of people here to keep the numbers down…” Zell sat up looking around.

“…Yeah.” He took a deep breath. “Alright I’m going to get through here as quick as I can. Keep your eyes on look out.”

“I’ll do my best.” Zell was looking around on the left and then the right.

With Zell keeping watch it made it easier for Seifer to focus more on getting them through this mess.

“Just remember, we won’t be able to see the ladder or hatch. There’s a glowing blinking light in the air that shows where it is.”

“Right, got it.”

Zell frowned and point. “Mesmerize over there.” Around one of the salt deposits was the equine-like creature digging in the ground with a hoof.

“I think I can get around it.”

“That’s good, because I don’t think it’s noticed us yet.”

Seifer picked up his pace. Not the easiest thing to do with someone on his back.

Zell kept his eyes on the horse as Seifer picked up pace. It seemed alright until Zell started to pat Seifer on the shoulder quickly. “S-sei…!” He said quickly. While the Mesmerize was minding its own business a Hexadragon came around the bend and swatted the smaller creature with a massive scaly claw.

“Shit…” Seifer hoped it hadn’t seen them and tried to move faster.

Zell tensed as he held onto Seifer’s shoulders. His eyes were now glued on the dragon. It didn’t take much for the Hexadragon to overpower the horse and begin to chomp down on it. This would make Zell cringe.

“Zell you still watching out?”

“What?” He pulled his eyes away finally to start looking around again. “I am.”

“Good….” Because he did not want to get caught unawares out here.

Zell started to tap on Seifer’s shoulder again before pointing off to the left. There was a Torama crouched behind some rocks and staring intently at the two.

“…Shit.” He didn’t think they’d get away from this one. He quickly knelt. “Get down. I’ll take care of it.”

Zell started to climb down and flopped on his butt. The large cat raised its long tentacle whiskers in a more threatening manner as it gave a deep growl.

“Stay out of sight!” He drew his gunblade and made his move.

“I’m trying!” This prompted Zell to try and climb back up on his right leg and at least hop to some cover. The Torama on the other hand started to move its tentacles in a more rhythmic motion before a bolt a lightning was casted.

Seifer held up Hyperion and stood his ground hoping to deflect most of it. “Damn cat…”

“Watch out they like to attack with magic first!” Zell called out as he ducked behind some rocks.

The Torama gave another growl as tentacles flailed they were starting to become more rhythmic again before a harsh gust of wind blew at the pair. Zell was knocked off his feet and hit the ground with a grunt.

Seifer slid back some. He already got the idea about the magic part. Those damn tentacles looked like they were what channeled it. He just needed to get close enough and take them off with his gunblade.

Seeing Seifer be blown back the Torama sat up. The tentacles were held high as if it didn’t know what to throw at them next.

That looked like an opening if there ever was one. Seifer ran in, bringing his blade against the long appendages.

Springing to its feet the fiend tried to run to the side. Luckily for them Seifer managed to slice a good bit of one of the appendages off. The cat howled in pain as the tendril twitched on the ground.

“One down…Let’s see you try those fancy spells now.”

Giving a threatening growl the large beast turned to try and lunge at Seifer with its claws bared.

It was still fast. He’d give it that much. He tried to move out of the way and felt the claws catch in his already tattered coat.

“Seifer!” Zell couldn’t help but call out to him. This caught the Torama’s attention. While it tried to cast Confuse on the two the spell wasn’t as obnoxiously strong with one of its tenticals missing.

The confusion hit him like a wave a nausea. The ground moving and leaving his movements feeling off. “D-Damn it.”

Zell was still climbing to his feet when he was hit. For the moment, he covered his mouth as if he were going to vomit right at that moment. Trying to shake the feeling off Zell turned his head to look toward Seifer. Seeing how well the spell worked the Torama would crouch low toward the ground before lunging at Seifer again for a bite.

Distracted by the spinning world around him and trying to get back his composure Seifer didn’t notice the Torama lunging at him. Not until he felt the teeth grab his arm.

Sharp teeth came down on the arm. Zell watching with horror and did just about the only thing he could do. Clenching his fists, he started to focus on his GF again.

With it so close Seifer turned his gunblade around and brought it down across it’s back. The auto-trigger going off and releasing a fiery blast of energy.

The creature howled in pain by the damage it was dealt. Releasing Seifer from its jaws it tried to quickly back away. Its eyes started glow, indicating that it was preparing a Blaster attack, but before it could, the pair of Brothers dumped a boulder on the damn thing with a crunch.

Seifer raised his arm to cover his face and avoid the dust and debris kicked up by the crushing boulder. As it cleared he looked back at Zell. Right arm useless at his side he made his way back to the blonde.

With the threat gone Zell would let go of the GF’s and they faded. Still feeling a little dizzy he leaned against the rocks. “You, oh…” He stopped mid question when he caught sight of the arm.

“Zell…You’ve got to stop using those things…” Seifer had yet to manage to put his gunblade away. Some of the feeling in his arm was gone, but enough of it was that that the ex-knight was more than aware of the blood running down.

“It was biting your arm! What the hell was I supposed to do?”

“I’m more than capable of taking down something like that!” At least…if he was better prepared and not so tired after the last couple days he was. Seifer braced himself against the rocks near Zell. “…I know what you were doing. But I don’t want to see you start forgetting things.”

“I’d rather forget things then seeing you dead!” Zell yelled louder than he meant. He held a hand to his mouth before talking more quietly again. “Just look at your damn arm…”

“I know! Hyne, Zell it’s kind of hard not to notice when your arm is getting torn up by a giant ass angry cat!”

“Then stop yelling at me okay!?” He was starting to get upset and it clearly showed. “We’re both tired and fucking stuck out here! And you don’t want me to die–and I don’t want you to die either just to make sure I’m alright! So yes, I am going to use the damn GF’s if it means making sure the both of us live tomorrow!”

“….,” Seifer slumped to the side. “I get it. Alright?” He didn’t even have the energy to argue with Zell.

Zell looked away before looking down at his feet. “…I’m sorry.” Finally lifting his gaze without saying anything Zell tried to hold his hands out to Seifer’s injured arm. “At least let me try and heal it.”

“…Yeah, seeing as how I can’t really feel it.”

Biting his lip Zell held his hands over Seifer’s arm and spent another cure spell. “I don’t have a lot of these left. Just whatever you gathered earlier.”

“I’ve got enough. Not the most ideal thing but you can always draw them off me.” The cure allowed him to move his arm a bit more, giving it some feeling once more.

“If we need to. I just want to get the hell out of this place.”

“We need to move.” Seifer finally got his gunblade sheathed and moved in front of Zell. “That fight is going to attract bigger things.”

Without another word Zell climbed back onto Seifer’s back. “I swear when we get out of here I’m going to sleep for a week.”

“You and me both…” It was quite a bit more difficult to get going this time around but he managed.

Zell seemed more attentive with keeping watch for anymore fiends.

“Hey, is that the hatch up there?”

Zell would cup a hand above his eyes as he strained to see. “I think so. At least it looks the same.”

“Thank Hyne…”

“Let’s just hurry up. I can’t remember the last time we ate anything.”

“Yeah, just keep thinking about food.” It least it would keep his mind busy.

“They’re weird in Esthar, but the food is really good. I think you’d like it.”

“All I care about is a bed…”

When they got close enough to the blinking light Zell would touch it. A moment later and a batch opened as if out of thin air and then a ladder below it.

“Alright…Zell, think you can pull yourself up? I want to make sure nothing comes at us from behind.”

“I think so. Even if I can’t use my legs I’ve got pretty strong arms.”

“You’ve got one good leg still.” He moved as close to the ladder as he could. “Start heading up.”

“Alright, but you better be right behind me.” Twisting his torso, a bit Zell would grab onto the ladder before putting his good leg down. Making sure to hold his injured leg away, Zell would grab the next rung up before hopping his foot up, and repeated.

“I will…” Seifer turned around to keep an eye on their backs.

Zell would keep going until he reached the hatch. “Um… I can’t bend my leg.”

Seifer grabbed hold of the ladder and started his way up. “I’m coming up. When I get to you I want you to turn around get up so you can sit and then scoot back with your leg at an angle.”

“Riiight..” Holding onto the edge of the open hatch Zell slowly started to turn so his was facing outward. “Now to just…” Leaning back Zell sat back in the hatch and breathed out a sigh.

“Keep going Chicky…”

“I’m going, just being careful.” With himself seated Zell kept scooting back through the hatch.

“Good. You’re doing goo-” Seifer felt something grab him. Losing his grip, he caught himself with his bad arm and tried to hold on. “Shit!” Looking back, he saw the gaping drooling maw of a Malbaro.

“Sei–?” He bit his lip hearing Seifer curse. Cursing himself he was caught between what to do. “Seifer what is it!?”

“Fuck!!!” Seifer cried out in pain as he was being pulled down with a hard yank. He was barely holding on. “Zell back away from the hatch!” He didn’t want to…But Hyne if he didn’t he was afraid of what Zell would try to do.

“Seifer–!!” Panic started to eat at Zell. He was sitting too awkwardly to even scoot back out quick enough if he wanted. Lowering his head, he pressed his hands to his face. If he couldn’t use his GF what else was there that he could do!?

“Damn it…” Ifrit Then there was a growling in his head. He’d blocked it out for so long he’d forgotten what it was like to feel the strong presence. How intimidating and comforting the heat was. Suddenly there was fire everywhere. Ifrit didn’t appear down with Seifer. The Guardian appeared behind Zell and pulled him out of the way in order to send his Hell Fire down the hatch. Seifer felt his grip give away just as the fire washed over him and the Malboro.

Everything had happened too quickly for Zell to realize just what happened. One moment he was about to break down in tears over Seifer the next he was being pulled out of the way by two very large hands. It was only until he looked up did Zell catch sight of the mighty GF and the fire that was pouring out of it. And while it wasn’t attacking him it was still intimidating to witness.

The fire consumed and incinerated the malboro. Seifer though hit the ground hard. Above the GF gave a chuckling growl. It served his host right for ignoring him for so long.

Zell stared up at Ifrit. “The heck…? Seifer!” He squeaked. “Is he okay!?”

A voice growled out. Silence Little Bird…Your mate is fine. Maybe a few broken bones but nothing he doesn’t deserve.

“Don’t call me a little bird!” Zell yelled clenching his fists. “You know how hard we’re trying NOT to die!? You’re standing there laughing about a few broken bones!” He slammed a fist into the floor. “What if it punctured his lung!? Then you wouldn’t have anyone to try to talk to all of the time!”

Ifrit stood at his full height, towering over the brawler. Do not dare to talk back to me friend of the Brothers! My champion is well deserving of his injuries after having ignored my presence as long as he has. Stubborn fool…Now sit there like a good child and I’ll return in but a moment with him.

What else could Zell do but shiver as the hell cat loomed over him. His hands were clenched tightly but it didn’t help him shake any less even when Ifrit declared he would get Seifer.

What sounded liked grumbling muttering was all that echoed behind Ifrit as he fetched his host. He returned setting the battered and bruised ex-Knight on the ground beside Zell.

“Sei!” Excitedly Zell reached out to rest his hands on his chest. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Seifer gave a groan. His head hurt like hell and the rest of him was sore. At the moment, he couldn’t tell the extent of his injuries but at least he was still breathing. “Am I hurt…? Really?”

Zell frowned. He really wanted to yell. Or scream. Probably both. Before putting his foot further down his throat his hands would give a faint glow for a moment as he used a cure spell.

Ifrit was exchanging a glare with Seifer. Finally, he the GF gave a huff of hot air and phased away. Seifer sat up feeling slightly dizzy. “Damn GF….You alright Zell?”

He quickly clung to Seifer and held onto him tightly.

“Careful! Careful!” He hissed. This time it wasn’t playing around he seriously was hurting and Zell squeezing him did not help.

He was quick to let go and looked down at the floor.

“Hey…” Seifer touched his hand to Zell’s face. “…I’m alright. Feel like I fell off a three-story building, but other than that I’m alright.”

He lifted his head to look back at Seifer and smiled a bit. "We made it…”

“Yeah, we did. Can’t relax yet though.” He winced as he stood. The world spinning as he moved.

“You, okay? You look a little wobbly.” Zell frowned with worry.

“Cracked my head on the ground pretty good.”

“Shit…The hell with the inn, you need your head checked.” With that Zell started to try and climb to his feet.

“I’ll be fine after I get some rest…”

“Not if you have a concussion… Don’t make me drag you.”

“As if you can do anything right now…” Seifer knelt down, “On my back.”

Zell frowned and sat there with a glare and clenched hands. “I did everything you told me to do in spite me wanting to help. So can we please just find a damn doctor…”

He sighed. “…Fine…Will you get on now?”

Zell relaxed and then climbed onto Seifer’s back.

He fought with all he had not to stumble. “….I’ll buy you a hotdog after this is done.”

“I don’t even want the hotdog, I just want us to be safe.”

“We will be…” He hoped. He had no idea what Esthar’s opinion of him would be.

Letting out a sigh Zell rested his head again Seifer’s shoulder.

Thankfully it wasn’t a long walk from where they were to finally get to a populated area. It was a lot easier getting help here than Seifer had imagined it would be.

Zell kept quiet. He was tired, but not as tired as Seifer is. “I keep thinking of food…”

“We’ll get you something soon enough. I don’t know this place but it looks like there is a clinic just ahead.”

“Mm, this whole place looks like it’s way too clean. Eh… if they give us any grief for some reason I’ll give them my SeeD ID.”

“Right…” He was too tired to care. Thankfully as soon as he stepped inside it didn’t look like they were busy. In fact, the staff seemed to notice them first and rushed to come help the two.

#milessomnia #zell dincht #seifer almasy #final fantasy viii #v. Walking in Circles

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