#Well Law you'll just have to remake your plans without him - he can't fight Kaido this week its date night

[gildedmuse]

Zoro

- If you take your eyes off him in a shop for even five seconds then suddenly he's just up and vanished.

- Has broken your bed multiple times, not through any sort of fun activity, just by careless tossing the car sized, six ton crushers he calls "light weights" onto it without thinking.

- No, seriously, you've looked like everywhere.... There is no where else in the mall for him to logically be.

- It's been three weeks, you're honestly starting to worry. You'd go to the police except what are you gonna do? Hand over his wanted poster and say, "have you seen this boy? You know, the one the government has asked you to actively find? Because this time it's actually important."

- Constantly gets annoyed with all your friends asking if the carpets match the lawn (understandable) and reacting by slicing their cars in three parts (uncool).

- What if this is his way of dumping you? You hate thinking it but come on, it's just one island, there can't be that many places he could have wandered off to! But .. but he wouldn't just do that, would he? I mean, he's not the best with social cues but Zoro has always been up front and direct.... Honestly, sort of TOO direct..... He's an honorable guy, there's no way he'd just run off without a word, right?

- But then where is he!?

- He's probably with that "captain" of his again. The ones he's "going to make pirate king" whatever THAT means. Or that stupid cool girls have stolen him away because "the crew is in danger!" You know, just because he collects swords doesn't make him some kind of skilled fighter. I mean, realistically, you can't even use three swords all at the same time, besides that raven haired girl is super smart and you're like half sure the red head one is a freaking weather witch so it's hard to imagine they can't handle themselves just fine. It must have been that damn blonde cook then, probably came to yell at your boyfriend because he messed up with some girl. Just what is with that whole group of people he hangs out with, it's like....

- .....

- Oh my god... Remember when he had that "training thing" where he went off to that deserted island with that one really hot older rich dude and the cute pink hair girl with kick ass fashion sense!? For TWO years!!?? Did you really believe that!? How could you be so stupid!?

- No, you are not going through this. You are an awesome person who deserves love and attention and, damnit, if he had just talked to you maybe you could understand but - screw this! If he wants to just leave then you'll help him out! First thing first, you're throwing these stupid weights in the trash!

- .... First things first, you're renting a crane, a front loader, and a team of fifty Olympic level power lifters and you're throwing these stupid weights in the -

- What the - No, you can't just stroll back in - Well, what do you MEAN you've been looking for me!? Look, I've been all over the island and - ... WELL WHAT THE HELL WHERE YOU DOING IN SABAODY!? NO, sailing the Grand line is NOT a short cut!! That's not how short cuts work!! What!? The OCEAN must have moved!? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?

- Everyone thinks the kid leash is some kind of fun kinky thing, when actually, it's the only sensible solution to keeping him from stepping away and ending up four islands over with no idea how he got there.

[Should have pointed out originally I reblogged this one specifically since the last Killer line made me laugh too much because elementally, Literature types are weak against Puns, but here is the actual Zoro one and here are the rest of the swordsmen, in case anyone cared.]

The Disadvantages Of Dating One Piece Characters P4

Sabo - Will aggressively tell you about his brothers "Have I told you about the time..." and even if you say yes he'll come up with another. - One of those argumentative little shits that needs to be right in an argument. - As soon as politics are mentioned you wont be able to get a word in edge-ways, no one can. - Often forgets things - Will get so wrapped up in things he loses all track of time. - Has a resting 'I'll murder you in your sleep face' even though he's sweet.

Law - You can never tell if he's joking or not about inappropriate things like stealing organs. - Corrects your spelling, always. - Corrects you if you miss pronounce or use a word incorrectly. - You will always be second to a polar bear. - Most flirting goes over his head. - "Well, actually.." - Lawsplains - Resting bitch face - Does not know how to sugar coat anything

Corazon - Can't drink out of a bottle without making a dramatic mess out of himself. - Smokes loads and never washes his hands after. - When you cry he cries and all your fights are just incoherent sobbing and whining sounds. - Trips over fucking nothing - Falls asleep on the couch and almost burns your house down - Comes with 13 year old whose actually an 80 year old man in a 13 year olds body and who will call you a bitch to your face. - Related to Doffy

Kid - You will never win a fight because he will literally steal your storm off and make it more dramatic then you ever could have. - He'll come back just to slam the door again and louder. - If you slam the door he'll come back and slam the door harder [thanks wife] - Ah just you, your husband Kid and his boyfriend Killer, perfect. - Uses your makeup and never puts the lids back on or replaces it. - Out of spite hides all the spoons so you have to eat rice with a fork, cunt. [rice is easier to eat with a spoon then a fork but I am aware I derped derp]

Killer - Will always have the nicer hair - Sometimes you have no idea if he's even awake when your talking to him, it's silence in there. - I hope you like pasta cus that's all he can or will cook. - Wears your shirts, even better if his tiddies bust out of them, you lose more polka dot shirts that way. - Have to talk him out of wearing the mask to bed. - Comes with a Kid