#We've realized why I've been feeling so weird about my family being pentecostal
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^ Bearer of the curse (Had to be the one to tell my therapist that some southern christians say "Daddy god" unironically)
#We've realized why I've been feeling so weird about my family being pentecostal#essentially I always joked about my family being a cult/part of a cult#it's my fun fact about myself! I escaped a cult!#makes people curious cause holy shit a cult but also wow! ur so cool! you escaped!#but it's a lot easier to make that joke when it's 'haha my family is quirky'#versus 'my family openly identifies with a group considered an extremist cult by mainstream standards'#its not a bit anymore#it's not a fun fact its like#A Real Recognized Cult#that preys on vulnerable people like my family and makes them think they're nothing without it#they get that high during the praise breaks and give a bunch of their already limited income#then go back to being miserable but saying they're joyful because the lord loves a cheerful giver#its fucked up#and it's not a bit anymore#I make it a bit with jokes like that but it's just Not#My therapist said he never met someone who grew up in that#but had seen it a couple times and thought it was Weird#So I make the same old joke about speaking in tongues sounding like gibberish#and it hits different because he doesn't get it#I made that joke with other family members who experienced it#but it's different sitting in a therapist's office walking back and forth back and forth#doing the little [ba dum ba dum badum HA] rhythm they all speak with#before the piano kicks up and people are crying screaming falling on the floor#stomping and shouting and singing#the emotional tension suffocated you and you don't know why you're crying but you are#and here I am#in my therapist's office#as he stares at me in horror and it all falls together#ex christian#religious trauma
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