#Wade will fall in love forever when he's already in love with The Butt

[dyns33]

Spiderman : "I made my first costume and than Mister Stark gave a a new one."

Deadpool : "Same ! Almost. I asked a random dude on the Internet do redo my awesome suit with better materials. Matty ?"

Daredevil : "Oh. Well, Melvin made my suit, I was just wearing a pant, top and a blindfold, I was hurt all the time."

Deadpool : "… Red pant, top and blindfold, right ?"

Daredevil : "Hm ? No, black."

Deadpool : "… I want to be mad, but my first suit was white. We were destined to meet when we all had our final handsome red costumes, complimenting our perfect butt."

Spiderman : "I heard Miss Karen saying that the black suit was complimenting Matt's ass better."

Daredevil : "I will have a talk with Karen."

Daredevil : "… And we can be a wonderful Multicolor Team. We added Frank and Marc. I want to see the black suit, now !"

[handy-dandy-monster-candy]

Wade, part Two

Rating: SFW Length: 966 Pairing: Male Gillman/Fishman x GN Reader

Part two of my gift for @momolady​

xxx

Living near the coast makes it easy to visit Wade after you get through the grounding period your parents enforce for scaring the shit out of them that day. You ride your bike down to the beach and guide it over the rocks on foot, picking your way to the cove where you’d first met time and time again. Each day that you go down, you try to show Wade something new, and he devours the knowledge of whatever you bring like a starving man. In exchange, Wade teaches you about his people and some of the languages that you can learn, which include a language signed with the hands and another that can be read through the different patterns and textures woven into fabrics and kelp.

Years pass this way, but they’re not uneventful. You and Wade often butt heads when you’re younger, both either too stubborn or too amused to be the first to give in. Only rarely does Wade’s angler fish grin falter, and it’s during those times that your fights escalate into shouting matches and avoidance that sometimes spans days or weeks. Still, every time you decide to seek him out again, Wade is already there at the cove waiting for you, and you always wonder how long it had been since he had forgiven you.

Both of you mellow and change as the years go by until your heated arguments turn into exasperated bickering, and you start looking forward to each others’ company instead of just the exchange of cultural information. When you’re in high school, you get a part time job and save up to get Wade his own cell phone, which he keeps in a resealable plastic baggie behind a boulder in the cove well above the water line. You spend long nights and early mornings talking in secret about everything and nothing, until either your parents wake up or his studies call him away again.

Wade gets busier as the years go on, his duties as a future dignitary taking him away for days at a time. You realise you’re in love with him during one such business trip when your heart aches at his absence, and you find yourself toying with your phone and typing draft after draft of text messages before you delete them before they get sent. You kick yourself for falling for the one person in the world that you can’t have, and then you resign yourself to a lifetime of pining. It’s almost a relief when you graduate high school and send out applications, snatching up a plane ticket to the university the furthest away from that section of the coast as you can get.

You’ve barely settled in before Under the Sea starts to play from your phone, and you almost drop it into a box in your haste to answer it. “Hey, Wade.”

Wade’s familiar gravel-soft voice warbles from the earpiece. “Where are you?” he asks, impatience in his tone.

“At uni,” you say, sitting down at the edge of your bed and kicking off your shoes.

“That was today?” He curses in his native tongue—a gurgling click that you’ve heard more than once. “Damn it. I lost track of the days. It’s just another school, right? Can you swing by tomorrow afternoon? There’s been a new wreck and it’s close by. The human authorities haven’t found it yet. I could take you if you get ahold of your uncle’s boat.”

You look down at your socks and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Not until summer,” you tell him, and grimace into the sudden silence.

“What?”

“I took two flights to be here,” you say, trying and failing to sound nonchalant. “I’m hours from home now. I’ll have classes almost every day, so I can’t get to you until school lets out.”

“You didn’t tell me any of this,” Wade snarls, temper flaring like the days of your youth.

“You know going to school is important to me,” you say, which isn’t entirely a lie; you have decided on majoring in marine biology and biological oceanography, with a minor in political science. If nothing else, you would be useful to him.

“Important enough to leave me?” he demands, and your stomach twists before your own temper rears its ugly head.

“The world doesn’t revolve around you,” you snap, sitting up straighter and glaring at the wall.

“Don’t twist my words. How could you just leave like this without saying anything?”

“I have to go on with my life! I can’t just stay home forever because it’s convenient for you!”

“‘Convenient’? Convenience? Is that what you think this is about? How dare you reduce me to a child throwing a tantrum because his plaything ran away?”

“I dare because that’s what it sounds like!”

“You lied by omission! I deserved to know! You owed me that much!”

“I don’t owe you anything, Wade!”

“Oh, that’s rich coming from the human who would have been fish food if I hadn’t—”

“Really? You’re going there, after all these years? You’re going to throw that in my face?”

“You should have told me you were leaving,” Wade seethes, voice harsh and more sibilant than usual; he must have been struggling not to grit his rows of sharp teeth. “Do I mean nothing to you?”

“Why do you think I left?!” you shout, then suck in a breath when you realise what you’ve gone and said. “Wait.”

“I see,” Wade grinds out, terse and taut.

“Wade—”

The phone beeps by your ear, a sign of the call disconnecting. You give into the urge to throw it across the room onto your future roommate’s bed with an anguished wail, then bury your face into your pillows and try not to cry.

You don’t succeed.

[nixniivalis]

😍

Kisses!

😍 for a kiss in greeting

|| @teardownheaven ||

The parking laid empty but for a couple cars. A faded sign espoused the name of the national park with an old map beside it. A portly man sat outside the office in a rocking chair. A black dog laid at his feet. The setting sun painted orange and golds over the tree tops. Neraine grabbed the book bag from her passenger seat and clambered out of the car. A heavy humidity laid in the air, the residual of an earlier rain. It was warm enough for shorts and a t-shirt though. The final break in Winter, about time. 

Neraine slung the book bag over her shoulders and headed down a Northern trail. She picked down the wooden steps leading into the holler. Light filtered between the trees, budding in vibrant greens. Twigs and leafs crunched beneath Neraine’s shoes. Neraine jumped over a creek, nimbly picking over the rocks. She walked about a mile down the hill to where the creek fed into a broad river. The water rushed and rolled over stones. She stood on the sand bank and shucked her bag off her shoulders. She glanced over the trees, eyes narrowed, and peering at the shadows. Damnit, he was late. 

“Aeleus,” Neraine called. “I’m not going to wait forever. If you want a ride home you better get your butt over here!”

The water burbled and a few birds chirped in the trees. That was fine, she had a left extra time-- it was good to practice. Neraine removed the bag from her shoulders and dropped it in the sand. She toed off her sneakers and socks. For a moment she looked down into the river, rolling and clear, swift but not deep. Her eyes lifted to the far side where the shallows drapped in shadows. She shook out her hands and legs. Broke the nerves running through her shoulders. Then she stepped-out. 

Crystal formed beneath her foot, cold but buoyant. She didn’t fall through.  Instead Neraine remained atop the water. The opposite side, nothing else mattered, the far bank-- reach there. Neraine pushed off her leading leg, a full stride into the sprint. Ice froze beneath each step, light as a feather, quicker than gravity could pull her down. Her arms swung, heart pumping, legs extended-- she felt the break in her balance seconds before she fell. Fifteen feet from the opposite side she faltered and tripped. Neraine plunged into the shallows. Face first, filling her eyes and ears with river water. She landed on bent elbows and knees in the sand. Choking and spluttering, she sat-up. Water dripped from her hairs and her clothes. She sighed, eyes squeezing shut.

“Didn’t quite make it, did we?” Neraine murmured to herself as she pushed to her feet. The trail of ice and crystal she formed in her sprint already broke away, washed away down stream. Neraine twisted water out of her shirt and hair. Flicked droplets from her finger tips. She turned back towards the shore. 

A twig snapped, and there was movement in the trees. Neraine’s eyes widened, lips parting in strangled gasp. There was no time to react as a blur of red and brown fur rushed from the shadows. It bowled into her and knocked her down. Neraine fell back into the water. Dinner plate sized paws planted on her shoulders. Neraine laid-out on her back, dazed. Then a large, pink tongue lapped-up the side of her face. His entire body wiggled, tail wagging, trapping her beneath him. Aeleus greeted her with eager kisses like he was a puppy and not a near one ton werewolf. 

“Argh, there you are-- I was, Aeleus! Quit! Yes, I’m happy to see you too-- Aeleus!” Neraine choked out between laughter and licks. His tongue just hooked behind her teeth and not in a fun way. She caught him around either side of his muzzle and pushed him back. She kicked at his flank to get him to sit off her and stop squishing her. “C’mon, I wanna go home and get dinner-- turn back. You are not getting in my car smelling like wet dog!”

Bone popped, the strange and sickening noise of joins realigning. Aeleus leaned back off her. His nose and face contorted, shifting from lupin to human. A nose, lips, cheekbones-- shoulders broadening and fingers shortening. Fur receded to reveal pale skin and freckles.  His breathed and panted hot against her collarbone as he fought through the transformation. Neraine reached-up and threaded her fingers in hair. She worked through the soft, red curls to untangle knots and rub soothing circles into his shoulders. A little magic to restore his energy, take the bite off the pain. He blinked, once, twice, blue eyes clearing into a a bright clarity that stole her breath. Aeleus braced his arms around either side of her head. Laid overtop her she could feel his full weight. She glanced over to the far shore where the book bag rested, dry-- his clothes were in that bag. 

She turned back in time as Aeleus, undeterred, leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. Neraine sighed, eyes fluttering closed, a whisper of a smile against his lips. His hands skirted down her ribs, rolled over her shoulders. Warmth radiated from his chest in contrast to the cool water rushing past them. Neraine parted from him and nuzzled at his throat. Then she tapped her finger against the back of his head. Aeleus grunted in acknowledgement as he continued to kiss her. After several days away, she was finding it hard to part too.

“Okay, okay, I missed you too,” Neraine murmured. She turned her head, laughed when he just put his mouth to her cheek, jaw, and throat instead. “Aeleus it’s cold.”

She flushed with the reverberation of his laughter. Aeleus hooked his arm around her waist and lifted her out of the water. The strike of air and wind on her soaked clothes sent a shiver down her spine. Neraine wrapped her arms around Aeleus’ neck. She buried her nose against his throat, soaking in his heat instead. Aeleus waded through the water to where she left the bag. He set her down in the sand to dry as he changed into fresh clothes. Neraine squeezed water out of her hair and updated him on what happened in the week while he was away. Nothing but pack gossip, news from work, an exciting audition she had. They walked back to the car shoulders brushing between strides. 

It was a long drive home. The heat dried them out in no-time flat. He told her about the woods, the deer he hunted, the little things he found. In quick glances from the corner of her eyes she saw the ways he looked lighter, freer, refreshed. She wasn’t sure what it was when Aeleus interlaced his fingers with hers, clutching her hand against her thigh. It was hard to hide her smile about it though. 

“I love you too.”

[rosegold-thorns]

Lifeguard!Calum

issa Cal fic

Word Count: 1,978

Warnings: nah just a makeout sesh lol

Requested: No but please do

I started this last week and I’d just watched Baywatch for the first time lol

***

“It’s so hot out,” your friend groaned, setting her beach towel down and kicking her flip flops off into the heated sand.

“Because I’m here,” you grinned cheekily, putting down your own belongings next to hers, neatly placing your slides next to her strewn flip flops.

She rolled her eyes with a laugh. “How did I know you were going to say that?”

“You must know me so well,” you winked.

In no time at all both of you had stripped out of your denim shorts and muscle tees into your bikinis, and were now tying up your hair.

Looking out to the waves of the ocean that seemed to sparkle, you didn’t want your hair to knot and make impossible to wash, so you threw it up into a bun that rested on the top of your head.

Your friend finished wrapping her elastic too, then eagerly grabbed your hand, “Come on Y/N! The water is beautiful right now, and I’m melting.”

You laughed and tugged her back, “Sunscreen  first!” You said pointedly.

She groaned. “That takes so long.”

“And it’s gonna take so long for you to get rid of that sunburn, now get this on,” you replied, throwing her a bottle of sun screen.

The both of you simultaneously applied the spray, smoothing it over your skin and watched it glisten as it caught the light.

“Y/N,” your friend nudged. She nodded her head in the direction of the tall lifeguard stand.“Isn’t he just drop dead gorgeous?” She said dreamily, presumably talking about the lifeguard sitting on top, leaning back casually.

You eyed the tan boy, looking at his features, and you couldn’t help but agree.

He had a mop of curly black hair on his head, complementing his black sunglasses that rested on his face. You licked your lips as your eyes traced down the rest of his dark body, taking in the muscular arms and the veins that protruded, and the way the white tank top he was wearing just made him look that much more like a sun-kissed god.

He had an arm thrown over the back of the wooden bench-type seat, and his gaze was fixed in the ocean, scanning for any trouble.

You snapped out of your daze with a “Yea, he is,” hopefully trying not to look to awestruck with the god sitting a couple of feet away from you.

You smiled at your friend. “Race you to the water?”

She smiled evilly. “You’re so on.”

In a fit of laughter both of you ran to the shore, kicking up sand like children and jumping into the water, wading in until you were waist deep.

“Y/N, don’t look now, but the hot lifeguard is looking at you.” 

You rolled your eyes. “No he’s not. That’s his job, to look over the beach.” You glanced in his direction, and saw he was indeed looking in your direction. “He’s just looking at this area.”

“Whatever you say, Y/N.”

***

You guys had spent about half an hour in the water, reluctantly deciding to come out so you wouldn’t start to prune.

But of course another 5 minutes wouldn’t hurt.

You threw a curious glance to the lifeguard stand, to see the hot lifeguard coming down and another girl taking his place.

Must be the end of his shift, you thought.

He smiled at passing people in the sand, and saw him make his way to the water, pulling off his tank top in one swift motion, putting it in a small pile with his sunglasses.

He then lunged into the water and came up a moment after, shaking the water off him and his curls, bringing a tattooed hand down his face. It was hard not to watch him, he was so close to you, only about 2 feet or so, and he just looked so good coming out of the water, you could’ve sworn it happened in slow motion.

His eyes then landed on you, and his chocolate brown eyes made contact with your own.

You looked down, embarrassed he caught you staring, but unexpectedly he threw you a boyish smile, making his way over to you.

“Hey,” he said happily, never once losing his toothy grin.

“Hey,” you said shyly, grinning but staring as your hands as they drew small shapes into the water.

“I’m Calum,” he offered.

“I’m Y/N,” you replied, and finally looked back up to him, catching the glint in his eye. “You’re a lifeguard?” You asked innocently, as if you hadn’t been staring at him already.

“Yeah, it’s great,” he beamed. “I get to be at the beach all day, but at this time it just gets so hot out. I’m on my break now, so I decided to jump in quickly.”

You nodded in agreement, keeping the smile on your face. “Me and my friend jumped in as soon as we could.”

“Yeah I saw yo- I mean, I totally get that.” He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck and chuckled softly.

You giggled at him, turns out Y/F/N was right, he was looking at you before. 

“Hey, uh, I still have another hour on my break, do you wanna take a walk with me on the boardwalk?” He asked nervously, lightly taking his bottom lip and chewing it softly in anticipation.

You glanced over at your friend who was not-so-subtly listening in your conversation at the edge of water, and also not-so-subtly made intense eye contact with you, shooing you off with a look at said are you insane? go with him! 

You turned back to Calum with a smile.“I’d love to.”

***

“You didn’t!” You laughed incredulously, looking at Calum to your right as you both walked along the boardwalk.

“I did!” He laughed back, his eyes lingering on your smile as you laughed even harder at his story.

You tucked a fly away hair behind your ear, feeling the bun on top of your head start to weigh you down slightly.

You both fell in a comfortable silence, your eyes trained on the slides on your feet, you had slipped them on quickly while you frantically pulled on your denim shorts and muscle tank, then trailing up Calum’s sculpted body, lingering a little too long on his Lifeguard tank top that he had thrown back on, wondering what it would be like to run your hands under his shirt and over his golden tan skin.

Quickly looking away with a prominent blush cascading over your cheeks, you chastised yourself for thinking thoughts like that, because how far could this go anyways?

“Watch out!” You heard someone in front of you yell, and with a yelp you found yourself pulled into Calum’s side as a rogue rollerblader skated past you out of control.

The speed at which Calum had protectively tucked you into his side had pulled the both of you into the side of one of the game booths on the boardwalk, and to your embarrassment, Calum had braced against the brick wall of the game booth so you both wouldn’t fall.

You gulped at the close proximity of you two: your back against the wall, and his arms braced on the wall on either side of you.

You tried to hold back from hungrily looking at his arms, and the way the veins were very prominently standing on top of his skin, and the way his biceps were flexed, and the way his skin glowed -

You stopped yourself there before you could embarrass yourself any further.

“Y/N,” Calum said lowly, his eyes dark and piercing as you raised your own to meet his.

The way he was looking at you made you go weak in the knees, and you moved your hands from the wall behind you to gripping his shirt.

As soon as his dark brown eyes stared straight into your own, you bit your lip to avoid saying anything ridiculous.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Don’t do that.”

Your hands loosened on the grip of his shirt unsurely. “Do what?”

He hooked his fingers into your belt loops and yanked you forward. “Bite your lip like that. Do you understand that just looking at you drives me absolutely fucking insane?”

Your eyes widened at his statement, and to your embarrassment you let out a small squeak of surprise. 

It seemed like this was all it took to set him off, and suddenly his mouth was on yours.

His hands moved from your belt loops to your hips and he gripped them as his mouth melted against yours. You let go of his shirt, leaving noticeable wrinkles from how tight you had gripped it, and lightly ran your fingers over his chest, feeling the hard ridges of his abs and lifeguard body. Soon your hands trailed up into his hair and held fast to the curls against his neck, and you felt a low groan come from the back of his throat. He rubbed little circles with his thumbs on your waist, and the sensation left your mouth hanging open slightly. He took this as an invitation to slip his tongue in your mouth, and the heat of the kiss soon turned from what felt like a spark to a forest fire.

He moved his hands to the back of your neck to play with your hair, but frowned as he realized it was still in the bun you had thrown on the top of your head earlier. He pulled away quickly, but you already understood what he wanted. You removed the hair tie from your bun and your hair came down in cascading waves, and the sight had Calum already cupping your cheeks and pulling you in again.

The kiss lasted for forever, and you were surprised you didn’t need to come up for air quicker. When you did, however, Calum moved his lips down your cheek to your neck, and left soft whispers of kisses there. You bit your lip to hold back from making any noise at the sensation, especially when one of Calum’s big hands was on your butt, the other tangled in your hair.

“Mommy! Look at what they’re doing!” You distinctly heard a small voice yell. Calum must’ve heard it too, because you both sprung apart quickly, eyes landing on a small child, maybe 7, holding an ice cream cone with a shocked expression, holding the hand of an angry mom. 

You sheepishly smiled at her. “Sorry!” You nervously squeaked.

The mom shook her head and tugged on the arm of the child. “Come on, Timmy, you shouldn’t be seeing that.”

As soon as they walked out of sight, both you and Calum slowly looked at each other with sheepish expressions, but it was no use because as soon as you saw each other you both burst into laughter.

“Poor Timmy!” You laughed, clutching your stomach.

Calum’s happy laugh echoed in your small space, and once you both had sobered up you were left with the same cheeky boy who watched you from his lifeguard bench. He glanced at his watch. “My shift ends in 5 minutes.” He said disappointedly.

You walked up closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso. “Funny, I actually think I found my new favorite beach spot,” you teased, letting wild thoughts cross your mind of you teasing Calum on the beach as he was supposed to be working.

He smirked. “Is that so?”

“Mhm. I heard this really hot guard works there.”

“Actually, Ashton works on the other side of the boardwalk.” He teased back.

“I guess I’ll let Ashton know to call me then.”

He tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. “You keep lookin’ like this and I’ll do way more than call you,” he whispered, resting his forehead on yours.

You placed one last peck on his lips. “Good.”

*** 

yeet

[kotas-dump]

Something different. Part 1

“Do you really think he wants...me?” You look down, thick thighs touching underneath your smooth layered gown. Soft round curves staring you back in the mirror the maid had placed in front of you. Your face was soft, not sharp nor elegant like elves were supposed to have. Even your ears were to long to be ‘elegant’.

“Oh hush! You’re finally getting married dear! AND TO A PRINCE! Let’s be happy~! ” You mother coos from the doorway. The maids don’t even look up as the continue to braid your white hair. It was one of the rare genetic quirks of your people. The ultimate symbol of purity of soul. Usually highly coveted it was a guaranteed rise of class if a child was born with it. Peasants married into nobility, nobles became princesses. As was.. your case.

“We were starting to worry no one would as- ow!” A sharp elbow in his side shut your father up easily.

Sitting in silence you gave up, let them win.

Your mother comes over to rest her slender hands on your shoulders.”Don’t worry so much. We hired the best company of orcs to escort you safely there. You’ll be safe, happy and giving us beautiful grand babies to spoil soon enough.”  Coming to stand in front of you the maid moves away, braid still in one hand.

She grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up. “You’re finally going to be happy. Not shut in here every day and night, hiding from the world.” Her thumb whips a tear from your plump cheek and you sigh. “Promise you will write us?”

“I promise mother.” Forcing a smile for her you watch her face light up and she hugs you tight.

“Oh i’ll miss you my sweet little bread-roll. Finally getting MARRIED~!” pulling away she pinches your cheeks and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “We’ll see you off. I think the maids are getting mad at me hindering their beautiful work.”

You can’t help but smile at her enthusiasm. To be honest you were looking forward to it too. Your parents might have butt heads a little bit but their relationship was beautiful and it was arranged too. You could make it work.”

Looking up you stared your own icy grey-gaze  reflection down and nodded, smiling wide.

“There you are. As beautiful as the first real snow.” Your maid smiled, going back to work and chuckling. “You’re excited arn’t you?”

“Nervous. I’m not like my sisters. I’m not all sharp angles and pretty... They married so quickly. Two of them already have little ones.”  You look over to her but she turns your head back  around.

“You’re beautiful. If he doesn’t see that you just write me and i’ll make sure his chefs serve him dieal root and give him the shits for a week.”  You both burst into laughter.

The last good laugh you’d have for a long time.

Your parents saw you of like they’d said. Your father helping you into your carriage before handing you a small cloth-wrapped package. “Snacks. I don’t trust these orcs to make you good elven food”

“Father!” You hissed. A nearby orc scoffed and crossed her arms. “I’ll be okay. I have my magic if I need to use it.”

He grabbed your hand, kissing the back of it. “I love you. Travel safe my dearest daughter.”

“I will father. Thank you.”  Smiling you sat down and he closed the door.

They stood by the gates and waved until you could no longer see them on the horizon. With that? Your journey to your fiance’s land was officially underway.

--

The first handful days were uneventful. You stayed in the carriage until camp was made and then in your tent.

It wasn’t until a week in that you hit a fallen tree and an overturned cart that you stopped. The orcs outside were debating, damn near shouting over what to do. Popping the door open you peeked out, wincing at the light.

“The red road is a thieves paradise. It’s CALLED the RED road for a reason. You can’t be seriously considering it Vargan?!” The pink-skinned goblin snarled.

“I agree with Tuk. The tree could take days to clear. We might as well head back and help the cart owner clear the road. Would set us a day behind but it’s safer.” The female orc exclaimed.

“Hmm.” Vargan’s green eyes glanced to you and you yelped, closing the door.

You tucked yourself into the far corner of the carriage as heavy steps approached. The door didn’t open.. instead it locked. “We take the Red road. Get in close and we protect the cargo at all costs.”

A sigh left you as your carriage lurched forward.

Their normal upbeat banter died into silence as they got moving. The tense air outside put you on edge and you clutched your small bag of carry-on snacks and journals close.

It seemed all was going well though. Hours passed and you could tell the tension outside was starting to lift.

 That was when they attacked. Human’s in hoards stormed the road and fighting ensued. It seemed to drag on forever as you hid in the carriage. A body slammed into the side, staining the window with a spattering of red as they thumped to the ground.

Suddenly the door flung open and a green and red arm reached in, yanking you by the arm out of the carriage. Your bag’s contents clattered to the floor of the cart but you managed to grab your journal as he pulled you from the cart. Turning forward you recognized the orc as Vargan, the leader of the company.

There were bodies everywhere outside, orc and human alike, but he was pulling you toward the treeline roughly where Tuk crouched, looking around. The female orc stopped the humans from following and you three escaped into the trees.

They broke out into a run, the orc growling at your slow pace before yanking you toward him and over his shoulder.

“LET ME DOWN!” You screamed, your ass high in the air as he ran, the air forced out of your lungs by his shoulder with each leaping bound. 

“ If I do you will die. Shut up.” Vargan snapped. “Where we going Tuk?”

“I know of a place not to far. Keep up.” Tuk glanced back, eyeing your ass for a moment to long. Vargan let a low growl out and the pace picked up.

---

That night you made camp deep in a cave. Tuk had given you his spare bedroll but you hesitated to actually use the thing. Instead you sat against the wall. The light peach gown you’d been dressed in this morning now stained and dirty.

“For you your highness.” Tuk smiled, his pointed teeth flashing in the dim light as he held out a skewer of rat.

Swallowing thickly you took it with a shaking hand and nodded. “I’m not a princess.” You set the skewer aside and sigh.

“Ah but you will be right?” The goblin laughed and scuttled back over to the fire, casting dreamy looks over to you.

Vargan scoffed, earning himself a glare from the scared up goblin.

“What?” Tuk snapped.

“Her people don’t eat meat. Idiot. That’s the forest elves. She’s from the ice mountains.” Snorting he stood, walking over to you and grabbing the skewer you placed down and replacing it with a chunk of dry bread. “We’ll get you real food at the next village. Eat.”

Glaring at his back you huff and take a bite of the dry bread. If you weren’t hungry you wouldn’t eat another bite but you were starving. Tearing into it like they tore into their food.

As they readied to sleep the female orc from before barged in. Drenched in blood she plopped down next to Tuk and smacked his hand when he went to examine the slice on her arm.

“You should get some rest.. all of you. I’ll tend to her.”Tuk said. “I am a healer after all.”

Vargan nodded. “Don’t fall asleep this time. “

Gasping Tuk clapped a hand over his chest. “Why I’d never!”

You laid down on the slightly smelly bed-roll and rolled over, your back to the others.

You didn’t get much rest that night.

The next Morning the female orc threw her uninjured arm around you and smiled. “I’m kidnapping her for an hour or two.”

“Need someone to keep watch?” Tuk answered, the grin on his face leaving you uneasy.

“I got two eyes i’ll be fine... if I catch you following i’ll drown you myself.” She snapped.

“D-drown?” you mutter, confused.

Steering you away she sighs, stretching her sore muscles. “You’re still quiet.”

Looking up you shrug. “Is there something you wanted to hear?”

Her brow furrows in confusion, “I wanted...?”  Laughing she shakes her head. “You’re an odd one.”

“It’s because of the spirit of Oldirian.” You reply simply. The subtle sound of water reaching your ears.

“Spirit of old ruin?” She completely butchers the word and you cringe.

“Oldirian. A spirit of purity and compassion.”

Nodding she shrugs. “Sounds like elven mumbo-jumbo. Elves and their special-ness.”

Looking down you laugh and she joins in, patting your shoulder before marching ahead toward the small river.

She doesn’t even bother to strip. Just crashes into the water with a cheering laugh and motions for you to follow.

Stepping closer you frown.

“What? Don’t you bathe in elf-land?” She snorts, running her hands over her blood soaked clothing. The water down stream turning red.

Taking off your over dress you stay in her chemise, lifting your skirt you dip a toe into the cold water.

It felt nice and refreshing after a night in that smokey cave. Wading into the water you joined her but upstream and away from the blood.

“Here. I’ll wash your hair.” She pulls a bar of soap from her soaked pockets and runs it over you hair, rubbing it in and through your hair. “I can see why your mother hired so many of us.”

“Hm?” You turn to watch her as she pours water over your hair, rinsing it.

“You’re beautiful! I mean look at this!” She holds your hair in her hands. “Straight and whiter than snow, than clouds or cream.. I’m jealous.”

“You want it?” You laugh.

Her face lights up and she holds a length of hair next to her face. “Does it suit me?”

Laughing you nod. “You would surely have many suitors! You would get to pick for sure.”

Her smile wilts at your words and she sighs. “You elves.”

“W-what?” She releases your hair and you take int into your hand, looking at it.

Shrugging the orc dips her head back and runs the soap through her hair. “We marry based on love. If it comes with status then great! But to us-” She ducks below the water, rinsing her hair before poping back up and fliping her hair back. “You’re the barbarians.”

---

'You’re the barbarians.' Those words had been haunting you since that morning. You didn’t understand. 

“Hey Tuk?” You glanced over to him, he’d taken up your side, the two orcs guarding the front and back.

“Yes your highness?” His voice was full of cheer, raw admiration. He looked up, his face slowly shifting to confusion as you remained quiet. “Your highness?”

Shaking your head you waved it off. “Never mind. A foolish question.”

He smiled wide. “No such thing princess.”

“There are when you’re involved.” Vargan barks a laugh from the front.

“Oh that hurts Vargan. You know i’m a sensative soul!”  Tuk cries, running forward the punch the orc on the arm.

“Stay in formation.” Vargan snaps, sending the goblin running back to you.

“I like her better anyways.” He sticks a pink tongue at the leader and huffs.

Smiling you watch their antics, listen to their playful banter and stories. They’d been in a company together for years. Vargan being the great-grandson of the chieftain that lead the forces against their brotherin when the orc rebellion broke out. Their family had stayed loyal to the elves ever since. Now him, and his company, were esteemed guards.

Tuk was a goblin who had been taught by an elven healer how to use his magic to heal after being wounded and left for dead by the orcs who’d enslaved them. He’d stayed with your family and then later Vargan ever since.

The female orc, Kiada, had been the original leader of the company. Eventually handing it over to Vargan. She wasn’t really that open about it so sadly that was all you really knew about her besides the fact she could fight a small army and survive.

In other words, despite them only being three strong, you didn’t feel scared or un-safe in the slightest.

---

That night you rest up in a tavern. Vargan is sharing the room with you, his bed across from yours. He kicks off his boots and catches you staring at him. “What is it? Still hungry?”

Shaking your head you blush. “My head was in the clouds sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.”

“You do it a lot.” His gruff voice sounds angry but from being around him this short time you know it’s just how his voice is.

“Sorry.” You laugh. “I’ve never really seen orcs or goblins up close before.”

His green eyes look up and his head tilts to the side. “You haven’t?”

“No.. I’m a noble type of hermit.” You explain, picking at a frayed hem on your sleeve.

“ Is it ‘cause your fat for an elf?” He asks, not a lick of tact or manners in his words.

Scoffing you yank the blankets back and slide under them. Your back facing him.

A deep laugh rumbles from the other side of the room. “That’s a yes.” He reaches up in a stretch, bones creaking in protest as and lays back on the small bed. “I wouldn’t worry to much. Even if you’re fatter than most elves you’re twice as beautiful.” Yawning he blows the candle out and tucks in for the night.

“You know nothing about Elf culture.” You snap angrily in the dark.

“I know enough.” He grunts, the bed creaking as he rolls to face you. “You believe you’re the superior race with your magic and beauty. Arranged marriages giving you pure-blooded offspring. You breed like dogs for power and beauty to keep the other races suppressed.”

Rolling over you glare at him in the moon-lit darkness. “We don’t believe we’re better than any other race. You really have no manners!”

“Perhaps. But we orcs don’t speak in riddles or hide our meaning. We don’t beat others into submission or sell our daughters for status and dowries.” He claps back.

Scoffing you roll your eyes. “And that makes you better than us?”

His uproarious laughter causes you to jump. “There you go! You don’t even see you’re own hippocricy.”

Huffing you roll onto your back and stare up at the ceiling.” There’s no use trying to talk to a wall.”

“Whatever you say princess.” He chuckles.

---

The next day you’re quiet. Lips all but sewn shut even when Tuk tries to lighten the mood by telling you jokes.

“What gives. Not even a smile? That one slays!” Tuk whines.

“She’s just mad at me. Leave her be Tuk.” Vargan glares at the goblin and frowns.

“No one could be mad at such a barbaric CREATURE.” You snap, rolling your eyes.

Kiada tries to hide a laugh and ends up in snorting laughter. “What did you do Vargan? Spit in her porridge?

“That’s not funny! He did that to me once. Tasted slimy...” Tuk shivers.

“Augh!” You stomp forward, past Vargan and almost in front of him before he grabs your arm. “Unhand me.” You command, glaring him down.

The whole company comes to a stop as you two face off in a silent stare contest. Eventually Vargan leans in, getting right into your face. “Get. Back. In. Formation.”

Tearing away you scoff and go back to your place, crossing your arms and blinking back stubborn tears.

A tense silence falls over the group as they look at you.

“No wonder she’s mad at you Varg. You’re to rough with the lady.” Tuk finally breaks the silence. Pushing your sleeve up and muttering a small spell to rid your pale skin of the bruises that were bound to form.

“We all know our place. Best she knows hers.” Vargan growls.

Kiada shakes her head and sighs.

“I’m not apologizing for keeping her safe! If she wants to act like a child and throw a temper tantrum then she can do it from the safety of the middle of the-” A whizzing sound is heard and Varg turns toward it only to have an arrow plunge deep into his chest.

Gasping you go wide eyed as he breaks the shaft with a grunt. The three of them close in tight around you and the people hiding in the trees attack.

The orcs stand firm, weapons drawn at the ready as Tuk begins muttering a spell and lightening crackles along his hands.

Chaos breaks out in an instant and the sound of fighting starts with a boom as Tuk fires off a crack of lightening.

Clapping your hands over your ears you screw your eyes shut. What do you do? There’s to many of them.. a knock back would send them away from you too. What was the spell you needed?! Panicking you start muttering a spell of your own. There were to many for just the three of them.. you had to do something. You couldn’t let them die like the others.

Tuk blocks a sword from striking you and shoves them back. “Protect the princess!”

“You don’t have to tell us that you piece of stupid pork!” Kiada shouts, her axe coming down on a human’s shoulder and cleaving the meat from the bone. A human behind her strikes in the short time it takes her to yank the heavy axe free. A dagger sinks into her side and she spins, slamming the flat side of the axe into their head and sending them sprawling toward Vargan where he brings his sword down and pierces their skull.

“No! I mean she’s casting a spe-” Tuk’s voice was cut off as the spell you’d been weaving shimmers into life.

The orcs stop as a beam of white glittering light shoots up. There’s a pause as the light fades and Vargan scoffs. “What? That’s it?”

“PROTECT HER!” Tuk shouts grabbing Vargan and Kiada. Varg holds his shield out to the confused humans. Tuk smacks him and pushes the shield up so it’s protecting them from the clear blue sky.

A volley of ice-spears come crashing from the sky, spearing the attackers where they stand. The ice crashes into his shield, again and again. The assault only lasting five seconds but it was long enough to kill the humans caught out in the open.

Tuk grabs hold of you as your legs give out, easing you onto the ground. “Princess? Stay with us!”

The world lurches and slowly darkness creeps in and claims you.

---

When you woke you woke with a jolt and a gasp. There had been blood everywhere! Bodies riddling the road. Putting your head in your hands you rub your face and look around.

Kiada laid beside you, asleep. Tuk sat in front of Vargan, the two of them arguing over the arrow in his chest.

“You’re awake.” Varg pointed to you with his chin and Tuk turned, ripping the arrow out.

A roar split into the night as Vargan glared at the goblin. Tuk only offering a sheepish smile as a dull white glow encompassed his hand.

Kiada groaned, turning over.

Standing up you stumbled and moved toward the fire. Your body drenched in a cold sweat. The memories your dream knitted together haunting you still.

“I’m surprised you cast that spell so quickly! The blessing of Oldirian really is something else.” Tuk praises, looking up for a moment to shoot you a smile.

“Oldirian?” Vargan grunts, his hand clamping over the goblins.

“I’m almost done you big baby. Kiada didn’t complain this much and she had a dagger in the gut!”

“Yeah yeah. Just hurry it up.” Varg snorts. His green eyes settle back on you, warming your hands by the fire. “I didn’t know you knew battle magic.”

Glancing up you saw his shirt and armor was off, his bare chest exposed. Surprisingly he didn’t have many scars at all. No thanks to Tuk’s magic you bet. Scoffing you looked back to the fire. “The better to oppress you with?”

Tuk snorted, laughing until the orc leader clocked him over the head.

“Ouch! Hey you were asking for that one!” Tuk pulled his hand away, grabbing some bandages and started wrapping up the much smaller wound.

“Why don’t you just heal him completely?” You ask walking up to them. You can feel Varg staring at you but you ignore him.

Tuk looks up, a star-struck look in his eyes. “U-uh well. Us g-goblins don’t have quite the magic prowess that you elves do.. besides it’s good that the body remembers how to heal itself.”

Pulling Tuk’s hand away you lean in, blowing gently on the puncture. Placing your palm over it you whisper a small incantation and a strong shimmering white light engulfs your hand. Pulling your hand away you shake your head at the hand print of light left behind. “You can remember how to heal later. Did you say Kiada was hurt too?”

Tuk nods, speechless. He watches you as you kneel next to Kiada, hand on her side. “She’s amazing...”

Varg scoffs, rubbing his chest where the wound had been. “Elves.” 

The goblin glances to the leader as Varg pulls a tunic over his head and curiously stretches. The soreness of his body from the travels gone too.

Tuk smiles knowingly and Varg shoves him back where he gladly runs up to you and pulls you back toward the fire. “Here.”

Holding out a stick with a skewered eggplant on it you slowly take it. Forcing back your laughter you bite your lip. “Thank you.”

“Why didn’t you tell us you could use battle magic?” Varg scoffed, plopping down beside you. His big body inches away.

What could you say that wouldn’t feed into his ‘elves are holier than thou’ image he had of you? A moment of silence passed and you shrugged, biting into the eggplant. The taste was bland but for once... you weren’t hungry.

“You could have saved my men when they attacked the first time.”The orc pressed.

Oh.That’s what he meant. “Watch your tone please.”

“Hey hey! Why don’t we just-” Tuk tried to diffuse the situation.

“Tone? My TONE bothers you but the half-dozen men I lost doesn’t?” His voice is raised, anger seeping into it.

Sighing you hand Tuk the roasted vegetable. “Honestly Vargan.”

“ ‘Honestly Vargan’“ He mimics, voice raised painfully high. “ ‘You expect me to waste my time on a few orc lives I hired to die for me?’ “

You look down taking a deep breath and keeping your emotions in check. “You made up your mind about the person I am. The only thing I can do in your mind is confirm it.”

“BULL SHIT! Their lives are worth more than just a few scraps of a rare metal!” He’s roaring now.

Tuk reaches up, trying to pull Varg away. “Let’s all calm down. It’s not anyone’s fau-”

“SHE HAD A WAY TO SAVE THEM AND DIDN’T EVEN TELL US!” Varg screams.

Kiada turns, sitting up groggily and trying to figure out what the screaming was about.

Your heart is racing, fear freezing you in place like it had back then. If you panicked your magic could kill people indiscriminately. The last attack was proof of that. If it hadn’t been for Tuk you all could have died... but saying that wouldn’t help. Vargan would only point out how that meant even they were ‘expendable’.

  His green eyes bore down on you. There was pain there. Hidden by anger. You look away. “What do you want to hear? That i’m sorry? I didn’t kill your men Vargan.”

“You didn’t save them either!”  Varg snaps back.

“Giliandras!” You curse. He was impossible!

“Fuck you too you damn knife ear!” Varg spits, barely missing your foot.

Your jaw drops and you stand, hands clenched into fists. A white light shimmering over them. No. You had to stay calm. They were you escorts. Not your enemies.

“Awe does the elfie wanna fight?” The orc leader teases.

“Varg..” Kiada warns, grabbing him by the back of his tunic.

Tuk glances back and forth between you two and shifts uncomfortably.

“Nah she should prove she’s better than me!” Vargan growls. “Obviously she thinks she is.”

Your jaw works. “I accept.” You growl through gritted teeth.

Tuk’s jaw drops. “Y-you WHAT?”

“I accept your request for a duel. Winnings are bragging rights. I’ll even throw in an extra 100 gold for each of you if you win.” Crossing your arms you raise a brow.

“Think about this Varg. She’s an elf. It’s magic.” Kiada warns, stepping away from the two. 

“ Bout time someone put you in your damn place.” The orc grumbles, cracking his knuckles.

Standing up you both venture away from the fire to the other side of the clearing.

“Twenty silver on the princess.” Tuk says, nudging Kiada.

“You’re on goblin.” Kiada laughs. “Varg’s got this.”

“Whenever you’re ready then.” Holding your head up you mutter a small barrier spell under your breath.

His charge is loud as he runs...rather fast for an orc. Crossing your arms you wait for him to slam into the shield. Sure enough he does. The magic kicking into effect and lighting up the clearing in that familiar shimmering white light.

“What’s the matter?” You tease, watching him scramble to his feet and look over the light in anger.

Backing up he bashes into it again with his shield. The light sparking back to life.

“Was that your strategy? Just keep hitting it?” You ask as he slams into the barrier again. Sighing you sit down and begin your next spell. Letting him continue to bash against the barrier, eventually bringing it down as the light slowly twinkles back to the ground.

“YES! THAT’S IT VARG!” Kiada cheers. “I knew he could do it!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Tuk breathes.

Sure enough as Varg stalks forward he slams into another barrier. “IS THAT ALL YOU CAN FUCKING DO? Damn barriers?” He roars. “FIGHT ME!”

With a heavy sigh you stand up. “Okay but remember that you asked for this.” Raising your hand you dispersed the barrier in front of him and he charged toward you, sword raised.

Bringing your hand down the light from before surged up from the grass, trapping him in a beam of light with his sword raised to strike you down.

Smiling you waved your hand to the side, readying the spear of ice spell from before. You just had to graze -

“NULLIFY!” Varg screamed. The beam of light that trapped him flickered out of existence and your eyes went wide as his sword came down. You screamed,  staggering back and falling.

“HOW THE FUCK DID YOU LEARN TO NULLIFY MAGIC?!” You scream, running from him.

“STAND STILL!” He roars back.

Screaming you panic. Unable to recall any spells at the moment to help you. You continue to run until your panting and his breathing is far to close for comfort. Screaming again you turn to face him, eyes shut against the magic blast. “GET AWAY FROM ME!”

The blast sends him rolling head over heel backwards and the two watching leap out of the way.

“URGGGG!” Varg jumps to his feet, storming back toward you as you try to catch your breath. “THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?”

Sighing you shake your head. “Can’t you just....stop?” You curse and raise your hand, firing the spell upward before you start running. You needed to get him to stay in one place for it to work.. Suddenly you’re tackled. Sent sprawling into the dirt where he ditches his shield to clap a hand over you mouth.

Well..that kinda worked.

“I win. Now say it. Say i’m better than you!”  He leans back, taking his hand from your mouth as he glares down at your triumphantly.

Kiada nudges Tuk and smirks. “Pay up.”

Tuk fidgets, brows furrowed and lips turned into a frown as his eyes scan the night sky.

“Come on Tuk! Now’s not the time to admire some stars. You owe me 20 silver!” Kiada scoffs.

A single spear of ice comes crashing down from the sky. Piercing Vargan in the calf and pulling a deafening roar from his lips. The orc turns, looking at the thin spear and then back to you. He wasn’t the only one caught in the attack. The ice pierced your thigh too.

You meet his glare with your own pained gaze. The sound of Tuk and Kiada’s footsteps filling the silence.

Looking away you sighed. “I’m sorry Vargan. For everything.”

Tuk slid to their knee’s beside you, examining the ice that pinned you two together.

Reaching down you touched the spear, releasing the magic that had conjured it into existence. Placing your hand on his calf you healed the wound quickly. He rolled away from you once you were done, storming off. Kiada hot on his heels.

Sitting up you placed your hand over your own wound and healing it but remaining there.

“Are you okay?” Tuk asks, tilting his head.

“Hm?” You blink, looking over to the scarred face of the goblin. “I wonder.” Standing up you test your weight on your injured leg and brush yourself off.

Tuk’s still staring at you, confused concern in his eyes. “Why do you look sad? Didn’t you win?”

Looking up to the stars you take a deep breath. “Let’s just hurry up and get this journey over with.”

Even more confused Tuk follows after you. You hide at the edge of the camp, pretending to be asleep until you finally fall asleep.

P.S

I wanted to do ‘something different’ and make a story where YOU yes YOU  choose who you fall in love with.

Buying me a Ko-fi counts as 3 votes!

Who do you want to fall in love with?

Kiada the female orc?

Tuk the scared but sweet goblin?

Vargan the rough and tumble company leader?

Or the elven prince you’re betrothed to?

[shmisolo]

"I've been thinking about doing this all day." 👀👀

this got long so i’m also putting it on ao3 as its own thing

“how much further?” she asks.

“you getting tired?”  she can hear the smirk in his voice.

“not on your life.”

“i don’t know, it sounds like you’re panting a bit.”

she takes that moment to move past him and turn around, walking backwards up the hill.  “i’m not tired,” she tells him.

“rey–” but it’s too late and her head cracks against a low-hanging branch and sends searing heat through her entire body–and not the good kind.  prickles of light dance in her vision and for a moment she wonders if this is what it feels like to get knocked out.

his hand tightens around her wrist as she stumbles, and a moment later she’s resting her head against his chest, his hand rubbing the back of her neck.  “you ok?” he asks quietly.  

“yeah, just stars in my eyes,” she mumbles.  with her face pressed against him like this, the smell of his sweat is filling her completely.  it’s comforting.  she likes the smell of him.  she should like the smell of him after all this time.  

his hand leaves her neck and he begins to rub gently against her skull, right over where the branch had hit her.  she hisses.  “tender?”

“yes.”

he guides her to the ground, helping her get her pack off her back, and removing his as well as he sits down next to her.  then he digs out his water bottle and hands it to her.  “drink.”

she does.  the water is luke warm, but plenty sweet.  she can taste a little of his backwash in it, too, which probably should gross her out but she’s had enough of his saliva in her mouth that she takes it in stride.  he digs out some ibuprofen from his bag as well and she takes three pills.

they sit quietly for a few minutes, his hand running up and down her forearm as she closes her eyes and listens to the birds, the rustling of the leaves.  

it had been ben’s idea to go hiking.  rey had never spent much time in forests, and he’d been born in the pacific northwest and couldn’t imagine a life without trees.  she likes greenery, plants, nature, and so here they are, climbing a mountain his dad had used to take him up when he was a kid.  there’s a spring at the top and a killer view, and rey wants to get back on her feet.

“how do i know if i’m concussed?” she asks.

“i have no idea,” he grimaces.  “open your eyes?”  she does.  “do things seem too bright?” she shakes her head.  he gets to his feet and extends his hand.  rey takes it wordlessly.  “dizzy?”

“no, i think i’m ok.”

“we’ll go more slowly,” he says, bending to grab his pack and sling it over his shoulders.  then he grabs hers and for a moment she thinks that he’s going to help her into it, except that he puts it over his chest.

“no–i can take it,” she protests.

“if you’re really fine, i’ll give it back to you on the way down,” he says.  “i don’t want to tempt fate.  more than we already are, anyway.”

she takes his hand and squeezes it.  “i think i’m fine,” she tells him.

“let’s get up to the top,” he says.  “we probably should turn back, but i can’t overpower you wearing both our backpacks and you’re too stubborn to turn back, aren’t you.”

“got it in one.”

“yeah, i know you too well,” he says dryly.  they start to move again, more slowly than before.  he makes her take the lead, saying he wants to be able to catch her if she falls or something stupid and protective like that.

“you just really want to stare at my ass,” she mutters.  if she jokes, maybe he’ll worry less.

“as a rule.”

“when we get to the top, let’s go swimming,” she suggests.  they don’t have swimsuits and he’ll probably be very overheated if he’s wearing both of their packs now.

“let’s just get there first.”  he’s panting.

“i really can take my pack back if you’re getting tired.”

“i’m not getting tired.”

“you sure?”

“not on your life.”

she snorts.  she wants to turn back around, but she also doesn’t want to get cracked in the head by a low hanging branch again so she keeps her eyes forward.  her head is throbbing a bit.  she is a little tired.  maybe they can take a nap at the top before they make their way back down.  she likes the idea of swimming and then lying naked in the sun, her head on his chest looking out over the mountain range.  all that green, all that life.  she’s very glad she made it out of the southwest.  it wasn’t for her.  not when there are trees and grass and leaves and bushes and everything that’s so soft everywhere else.

“getting there,” he grunts behind her and she can see a clearing through the trees.  “rey–” because she takes off, hurrying along the trail until she’s in the sunlight, and it’s not just the sudden quick movement that takes her breath away. 

the view is, indeed incredible.  the sun is bright, the sky is clear, the greens are deep and stretch out as far as she can see.  she turns to look at ben–he’s shedding the packs and his t-shirt is dark with sweat–and holds out a hand to him.  “this is amazing,” she breathes.  he doesn’t take her hand, but comes to stand behind her, pressing his chest to her back, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his chin on her shoulder.

“it is,” he whispers.  “i’m glad we’re here.”  he pauses. “how are you feeling?”

“my head hurts a little.”  he kisses the spot where the branch hit her.  “want to go swimming?”

“you should probably sit down for a little while.  eat something.  drink water.”

“i’ll do that,” she promises.  “but let’s swim now.  besides–you’re all sweaty and stinky and you’re getting it all over me.”

he snorts and steps away from her and she doesn’t wait for him to agree or not before tugging her shirt up over her head and unhooking her bra.  she has to sit down to take off her hiking boots and shuck off her jeans before she goes to the spring and dips her toes in the water.  it’s freezing, and part of her wants to  go back and put her clothes on again, but she’s already committed to this and she never backs down–especially not in front of ben.  besides, she tells herself as she takes another step, her stomach writhing against the cold, when she actually gets all the way in, the cold will feel good on her head.  right?

“jesus it’s cold,” she hears ben mutter behind her and she looks back at him.  he’s wading in faster than her though with the practiced air of someone who knows it’s better to get it over with and a moment later he’s fully under water, reappearing and swinging his long, dark hair out of his face.  he’s watching her closely.  “come on, i’ll warm you up,” he says, extending his arms.

with a squeal, rey dives towards him.

“it’s freezing.”

“it is.”

“holy shit i did not realize how much the cold would hurt my tits.”

“dick and armpits, every time,” he shudders holding her close.  “how’s your head.”

“you keep asking that.”

“i’m going to most of today and probably part of tomorrow.”

“i’m fine,” she says and she presses her lips to his neck.  “it’s fine.  everything’s distractingly cold.  why didn’t you warn me to bring a wet suit to keep me warm if you’re so interested in taking care of me?”

he brushes his lips along her ear.  “because i’ve been thinking about doing this all day.”  he nips at the cartilege.

“skinny dipping in a spring your dad used to take you swimming in?”

he groans.  “you had to bring up my dad?  really?”

rey sucks on his neck and runs her hand down his spine in a gesture that might have been comforting had she not proceeded past his tailbone and between his butt cheeks and–

“you’re going to be the death of me.  one second i’m worried you’re concussed, the next you’re manhandling me underwater and talking about my dad.”  and before she can even retort properly, his lips are on hers, his tongue in her mouth and she rubs her thumb against his asshole, knowing that there’s no good way to actually push in right now because it’s cold and they definitely didn’t bring the lube for it, but at least she can drive him crazy and maybe he’ll forget about how her head is throbbing for a few minutes.  

sex has always made her headaches better anyway.

“well,” she says into his lips, “you did say you’d warm me up,” and she wraps her legs around his waist, relishing the way that the water holds her up as she holds him as close as she can.  the water seems a little less cold now and ben–ben’s so warm and his lips are so very soft.  they were made for kissing, ben’s lips–thick and red and she wraps her arms around his neck to hold him more firmly to her.

“it’s too cold for this,” he mumbles, breaking the kiss.  “i’m taking us out of the water.”

“it’s not too–”

“i can’t get it up.”

“and you are sure that’s not just because–”

“don’t–”

“i brought up–”

“rey.” 

he pinches her and she yelps, laughing.  he’s still carrying her as he makes his way out of the water and he keeps carrying her back towards where he’d left the backpacks.  he puts her down so that he can grap the picnic blanket out of one of the packs and spread it over the grass.

then she lies down on it, stretching and arching her back towards the sun and closing her eyes contentedly.  the breeze is cool, but not as cold as the water, and a moment later, ben’s spreading himself over her, warm and protective as he kisses her neck, her collar bones, her cheeks, and then her lips again.  one of his fingers slides into her and curls up to find her g-spot and he starts rubbing at it and rey mewls into his mouth.  her arousal is strange–she’s not wet, but her heart is beating and she wants him now but the cold does seem to have done something strange.  it makes that one finger inside her seem like both too much and too little all at once.  “my clit,” she suggests and he thumbs it, and rey kisses her way across his face to his neck, burying her nose there because she wants to smell him forever.  

she loves the way he smells. she loves the way he tastes, the way he feels, the way he makes her feel.  she loves that her body is warming to him, that the wetness between her legs isn’t water anymore, but slicker, thicker, and that when he adds a finger and spreads her a little bit, she is ready to be ready for him.  she pulls her legs up higher underneath him and reaches for his dick–hard now, and hot–and she pulls at his wrist, pulls his hand out of her to rest on her ass so she can pull him into her.

he moans as he fucks her into the ground, and rey pants underneath him, her legs resting up on his shoulders, her hands gripping his ass, inching towards the crack because she knows she can at least press at his asshole without penetrating him dry and he’ll come that much harder.  she wants him to come hard.  he’s so determined to take care of her, had carried her pack up the mountain, is keeping her warm, is keeping her safe, loving her, sharing his world with her like she matters–how nice it is to matter.

she comes apart, her eyes flying open to see the bright sky with whispy white clouds overhead as ben’s hips go more and more erratic against hers as she clenches around him.  she presses herself to him, sucks at his neck, breathes him in, calls to him, and a moment later he’s undone too, with a strangled cry.  

he rolls off her to lie in the sun too.  he turns his head to kiss her cheek and asks, “how’s your head.”

“better,” she tells him.  it’s not wholly a lie either.  it does feel better–less throbbing and more aching, and she turns to cuddle into him, resting her head on his chest as one of his hands drifts to her breast to squeeze it lightly.  she closes her eyes and breathes in time with ben, and lets herself drift off to sleep.

[readygamerone]

Chapter 39 - And Now My Gunt Is Ended

At last, the end is here. I know it's been a very long time since I posted the review of the previous chapter. But don't chalk this up to my listless and procrastinatory nature: I just couldn't bear to say goodbye to all these dear friends that I've made along the way. They're each so richly developed and their dialogue so sharp, it was impossible not to fall in love.

As the previous chapter left off, Wade has won the Egg Hunt, Nathan Sorrento is in captivity and the OASIS is at peace. But that's all secondary to our hero at this point, he's logged out of the digital world in order to claim the real prize. Art3mis is waiting for their destined in-person meetup. Naturally, Wade has to navigate a video game-inspired hedge maze to get there because God forbid this last tiny chapter be allowed to finish with a blank reference count for once.

Wade finds his crush near a fountain, which is also based on a video game. He recognizes her instantly because he had previously taken an invasive peek at her personal information right before he slid into her DMs with a classic "Girl, you're so beautiful."

She looked just as she had in the photo I’d seen. She had the same Rubenesque body. The same pale, freckled skin. The same hazel eyes and raven hair. The same beautiful round face, with the same reddish birthmark. But unlike in that photo, she wasn’t trying to hide the birthmark with a sweep of her hair. She had her hair brushed back, so I could see it.

I waited in silence. But she still wouldn’t look up at me.

“You look just like I always pictured you,” I said. “Beautiful.”

“Really?” she said softly. Slowly, she turned to face me, taking in my appearance a little at a time, starting with my feet and then gradually working her way up to my face. When our eyes fi nally met, she smiled at me nervously. “Well, what do you know? You look just like I always thought you would too,” she said. “Butt ugly.

She's joking but I wouldn't blame her. Only enough time has transpired since Wade was a complete and utter smoothboy that he's, at best, a fuzzy boy now.  He must look like a sentient pear. Once real names are exchanged, Wade states his love for Art3mis aka Samantha. Owing to the couple finally meeting face to face and Wade not recoiling in disgust at her birthmark, this time his declaration is met immediately with joyous tears rather than the angry rejection Art3mis dealt him about 200 pages ago. You've got the girl and you're both rich as hell, Wade. What are you going to do next?

I smiled. “We’re going to use all of the moolah we just won to feed everyone on the planet. We’re going to make the world a better place, right?”

At last, Wade's character arc has concluded for no discernable reason: he no longer detests the wretched poor. Thankfully, these newly-minted billionaires have vague altruistic leanings and plan to dole out some fraction of their vast wealth to feed the poor. However, this is already something we were told the governments of the world provide, as food vouchers were referenced in the very early chapters. Maybe ending the material conditions that allow legal slavery, wasteland marauders and the funneling of the funds collected from all online interactions into the account of an unaccountable corporate megalith would be a better goal. But, true to his actual character, Wade can't even hold to this weak notion of philantropy:

She grinned. “Don’t you want to build a huge interstellar spaceship, load it full of videogames, junk food, and comfy couches, and then get the hell out of here?”

“I’m up for that, too,” I said. “If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with you.

"That thing I said literally right before this sentence? Yeah, that was all bullshit. I just wanna smash. We can do whatever with the money as I long as I can get up in those guts. Naturally, our fucking will be synced to the sex scene in The Terminator." He fooled me good. For just a second, I had accepted that some combination of his recent experiences opened his eyes to the suffering of those around him. Don't I feel stupid now?

The two verbally commit their lives to one another and sit together for a while. They kiss, it owns as hard as all Wade's favorite love songs told him it would. The last line of the book is thus:

It occurred to me then that for the first time in as long as I could remember, I had absolutely no desire to log back into the OASIS.

Yep, the ultimate moral of this story, spelled out here but obviously so evident throughout the overall text, is "Log off." The digital ghost of James Halliday already said it but I'm glad it got underlined here so that we can really grasp it. It's certainly a lot easier on both the reader and the author to just come out and state the lesson at the end rather than build and develop it over time via, like, themes and events and characterization. Obviously, I'm joking and this is goddamn stupid. It feels exactly like the sort of tacked-on moral Cline would write to provide cover for having written the previous 371 pages of VR-fetishizing drivel. I don't believe for a second that Wade won't be logging back into the OASIS within the day to reign as King of Online. After all, giving up The OASIS forever would make it pretty hard to do the world-changing he was just talking. Not to mention that his dead aunt would be pretty pissed at him quitting now since his not-quitting before got her and hundreds of other people blown up.

I guess we'll find out soon what the future holds for Wade, as "Ready Player Two" is already slouching towards the publisher to be born as I write this. Even the misguided fans of this book are less receptive to his second book and wholesale "The Last Starfighter" ripoff, Armada. We'll see how they respond to "Ready Player One Again But Now Wade Probably Has A Daughter." As for me, I still have to watch the damn movie.

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