#WHOOOOOOOO it's been a while since i've talked about csi like this

[ilkkawhat]

Nigel embodied similar traits to Nick’s dark side, so that’s funny you pointed it out too. His need for acceptance but distaste for humanity and what people are capable of doing to each other is reflected in Nick’s overactive emotions on the job, and the way he follows Grissom and even Warrick around like a puppy. He knows if he wasn’t attractive he would have suffered the same fate as Nigel and I hc that’s why he freaked out so much about Greg’s newsletter. Reminded him of himself

oh absolutely!!! It’s something I kinda want to hammer in during this post-stalker fic I’m writing, how nigel is basically that dark side of nick--and I have another ask about that with a longer answer lol

but yeah with the newsletter thing I think it was that he didn’t like the attention, hell he even tells greg that himself, “I don’t need the extra attention” which can we talk about that, how he says “extra attention” indicating that he probably already gets enough attention--which maybe whatever he did to get that letter of commendation was such a big deal that it did garner him a lot of attention already, even before public affairs made the letter (cause he also says that he didn’t have anything to do with that, it wasn’t an actual interview it seems, and those personal tidbits about making models is perhaps something he tried to use to connect with a victim or their family or something and of course he would get a letter of commendation for being, well, nick, because he is just that great of a guy) -- and more than that, maybe he was just upset that it was attention from the wrong people. attention from his friends who made fun of him for it (though I do think Greg didn’t do it in any sort of mean spirited jest, I think he was legit proud of Nick and wanted to share it with everyone) instead of getting attention from the people like Grissom who he seeks validation from.

I would argue that Nick is a little bit insecure about his looks (see season six’s post-trauma hair crisis) but I do get what you mean about him not being as attractive and how that probably saved him from becoming another Nigel, and also I think his saving grace is that while yeah, sure, Nick doesn’t necessarily despite humanity to the point where Nigel does and looks down on them like “ants” (which LOVED that bit of unintentional foreshadowing, honestly this whole episode parallels grave danger so nicely) but because Nick can still function ya know, as a normal human being who conforms to societal norms (though he does break his jock stereotype that I feel they make you think he is at first when really he’s a big ol’ softie and a nerd, too) but like you said, he has that strong need for acceptance which I 100% agree with cause he’s always sought it, always sought to be his own person away from the shadow of his family and if we really wanna get angsty, wants to prove to himself that he is worth it after a lifetime of wondering, why him, why his life was ruined when he was just a kid, and what kind of person that made him. Is he a person people can trust, even if he can’t trust them himself--and he does still seem to place a lot of trust in people very close to him, even if it takes a while to build (like kristy, she had to basically woo nick over half a season before he slept with her lol) so he can only hope he can be seen as trustworthy too, just as you would trust a cable guy to install your cable and not do anything freaky in the process like infiltrate your attic and your whole life too. Is he a person who can get the job done, be a CSI that Gil Grissom--one of the best, if not, the best CSI in Nick’s eyes--will think is good, will think that Nick can sort of become once he leaves (cause lbr Nick does kinda become a bit like Grissom later on, with the bugs and the more like, laid back non-paperwork dealing but still harworking in the field attitude, his little quirks that people don’t get like his love of birds and his general idk giddyness he almost seems to have later on like he really stops giving a shit and while he does turn it off when he needs to he still goofs around though never as much as he did with warrick, and even superfically...he grows a beard like grissom lmao) JUST LIKE NIGEL WANTED TO BECOME NICK!?