#WASNT EVEN REALLY A NEGATIVE COMMENT SHE JUST IMPLIED IT WASNT INTERESTING TO LOOK AT

[vamprefaggot]

*

[gevejsbvdj]

Pt. 2

the continuation of what inspired my leave beneath the cut

I have a friend, who I got along with really well because we are both Afro Latinas (only she can speak Spanish. I don’t, not really) and we are black kids who had an interest in unconventional topics. I messaged her before disappearing about the ending of the server. I was keeping her updated all throughout, but after telling her the ending, I left her on read

I won’t disclose what I got up to during my absence. But again, don’t think that I had a breakdown because of the server ONLY. It was the final straw. I had so much going on in my life and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

Anyways, she took it upon herself to send hateful messages to Ley’s account and thought it was something to be proud of and told me. I...wasn’t impressed. But I still didn’t respond to our chats. Then she (her name is Rex. I’m gonna call her that) dmed Ley and was actually pretty aggressive towards her in an attempt to get answers. Again, not impressed but it was enough for me to actually come online. I feel like that’s why she acted out, to get me online. I don’t think she cared about me and used my pain to hurt others.

I had extremely brief, passing conversations with people who weren’t involved with the situation at all right before I messaged Rex. 

Ley was special to me before her message. I was always very defensive and protective of her like I was everyone else, but her especially because I thought she was nice. And I remembered when people were being mean to me, she reached out. And I still appreciate her for doing that. 

Which was why it was so confusing when Rex told me that they were all mad at me because I ACCUSED JOANE OF GROOMING PEOPLE. They wanted a reason to make me the villain so badly that they made shit up.

Notice how here, she says that I called Joane a FUCKING PEDO. Not even just a groomer but an outright PEDOPHILE. 

I’ve been raped. I’ve been sexually assaulted, groomed, all of that. I don’t say shit. I never say anything. I’ve even been accused- yes, ACTUALLY ACCUSED unlike Joane- to being a paedophile. I’m 19. Not even just that but I’m freshly 19. I got accused when I was 17. But I would never just- ughhhh moving on I don’t wanna get into it. 

When Rex asked for proof, this is way Ley sent her:

In this screenshot, I’m literally discussing how Joane’s childish behaviour could get her killed. I was concerned. Again, where’s the bullying?

Rex told me that Ley said she was wrong for not having proof, and I understand. Ley wasn’t present when it all went down

But really Ley? 

I heard a quote from someone that said something like “if someone believed a lie about you without checking up on you first to see if there was proof, then they were already looking for something to destroy you with to begin with” or SOMETHING like that. So I thought back to that quote and felt awful. I always suspected that they didn’t really like me, but always marked it up to my depression talking nonsense. But after all of this...maybe it was true. Why did I come out the most damage? Why were they making up lies about me? Me, out of all of them. Why was I consistently being seen as the bad guy overall? No really tell me. 

Anyways, this was Ley’s justification to believe that I would say such an awful thing:

Okay. Let’s just say that- Joane WAS a groomer. That she actually is a paedophile and I commented on it. She’s obviously not but I’m pulling a Ben Shapiro here. Everything else is the same only Joane is a paedophile. 

That motherfucking “it’s weird that he only spoke up when they were arguing” argument, and other arguments like that are so fucking toxic. As well as “well it wasn’t a problem that never came up before” so??? That’s what the fucking #metoo movement was all about. Timing means NOTHING when it comes to that. It doesn’t matter if it’s Joane or fucking Bill Cosby. The fact that thought came to Ley’s head is so fucking upsetting and DISGUSTING.THAT mentality is why people never want to believe victims of assault. Same goes for “they could have said that privately” guys she’s talking about that user who said they were uncomfortable with Joane coming onto him. Privately? It was private to him. In that server, we’ve made it known that it’s a very homey and comfortable environment. And who the fuck are you to tell someone where and when they can speak up about something like that???

Also, she accused me of calling her a pedo again. Good for me right? I’m a bully and I’m someone who just blindly calls people paedophiles. Good for me, damn. 

No, you shouldn’t believe someone right away when they call someone a groomer. God don’t I know that. But you definitely don’t say THAT what the fucking fuck. 

Jesus. Okay, moving on. 

Rex aggressively messaged Mel who had something similar to say:

uggh, you WERE the toxic environment i wanted to flee from,.

It hurts. It hurts a lot to see another friend you looked up to call you a bully. And that they just say that you called someone a groomer when you didn’t. 

Mel couldn’t provide proof either. 

Mel also tagged her post with someone kinda ignorant. 

Imagine if (thinking of someone I and others don’t always agree with) someone like James Charles made a post broadcasting all the homophobia he dealt with during his career, and I or some other asshole said something “while I don’t always agree with James…” like now isn’t the time. Now isn’t the time to let people you know you disagree with me ESPECIALLY on a post where you agree with me 100%??? What is the point then? You agreed with me, so agree with me. There. No one is saying that you have to agree with everything I say lord fucking knows I don’t always agree with you guys. fucking DUH. It makes me think you just wanted to put that in to lesson me and my words, even only slightly. Why? That hurts a lot, Mel. It really fucking does bruh.

When Rex called her out on it, she deleted the reblog. Not just the meagre little tag but the whole post. If she couldn’t be slick with me, then she wasn’t going to support me at all. It isn’t worth it if she can’t be shady. That’s the message I got from that. Tells me a lot. 

I am not friends with Rex anymore. She’s always been really aggressive and drama craving and I can’t take it. It’s impacting me negatively as well. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat happy with the screenshots she gave me. Told me a lot about these people I was still willing to talk to. 

Now? I won’t even waste their time.

After all of that. I made the post. The big announcement post. It was too much. I can’t escape the racism in my hometown or in the country in general, but I can leave and distance myself from the fandom. 

I was talking to someone today, and she, as a white woman, admitted that white people act so shitty when it’s implied that they’re racist. Which is so true. 

As I said, people make mistakes. No white person EVER is 0% racist or biased. I’m sorry but it’s not true unless you’re a baby or something. Same goes for other races, but mainly white people who have always had the upper hand, the privilege, the money, the chances, the power, all of that. 

Listen to me. 

When a person of color tells you that you are being microaggressive, biased, ignorant, or prejudice, or straight up RACIST, YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. Why do you guys get so AGGRESSIVE AND MAD?? That is so fucking WEIRD. 

And yes. I’m talking to you Vulture. 

I really had no ill feelings towards you prior to your comments.

Or your posts. 

peep that clumsily used aave. never fucking talked like that to anyone but me. either way, you sound dumb.

Why?

Why so...mad?

You felt guilty? Why did you feel guilty? 

...I’m gonna let you answer that. 

Moving on. I know that not everything has to be about race. I hate making things about my race. I do, even when I should! But you can be racist unintentionally. Does that mean you’re racist? No! I have yet to receive a genuine apology from any of you, meanwhile, I’ve been over here grovelling and hoping that you like me again. God. Why is it so hard for you to apologize and move on??

No, in that same fucking server, someone sent a racist meme after joking about slavery all day:

And yes, the people in the chat at the time laughed at it... 

I told them that WASNT funny and they freaked out all “WHY CANT I TALK TO PEOPLE IM SO FUCKING STUPID I SUCK” like oh...my god. You guys make it so awkward being black oh my GOD. I- like it makes me never want to say ANYTHING but I know I have to but god what the hell guys???

I wouldn’t really think that the members of the server chat were racially biased if they just accepted the fact that they were micro aggressive and didn’t flip out about it. Not really, at least. That reaction is so- well it’s sus as fuck. People who aren’t prejudiced will apologize, correct themselves and move on. Not dismiss me constantly and DEFINITELY not freak the fuck out. 

I also wouldn’t assume they were racially biased if this SAME EXACT SITUATION DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BEFORE. 

Yep! On the Beatles Amino, I was called a bully and was reported by the LEADERS. Why? Because I told a curator she was inconsistent with her rules… that’s it. And that was back when I was sugary sweet all the time and was deemed to be a cinnamon roll. Nah. They knew I was black and I got told that people were scared of me and that I was bullying people. Yeah okay. Messaging ONE curator about her rules is the same thing as bullying people. Chile I can’t. And it only happens in the Beatles fandom. But no when someone calls John Lennon a racist it’s all “Zach! Zach! Tell them they’re wrong.” Ugh...

So that’s that on that. I have nothing else to say. Don’t message me about this post if you didn’t read all of this. I’m an idiot and I’m honestly still willing you hear you all out but don’t expect me to ever want to have anything to do with you. Out of the what- 50 people from that server, only two stood up for me? And two separate people APOLOGIZED TO ME. AND THEY HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. That’s a shame. Thank you Johnny, Lenny, Laurie, and Remy. All of your names rhyme and you didn’t make me feel like I was CRAZY, unlike those I mentioned. There’s so much shit going on in the world rn, especially to do with racism. I know that you guys know. But some posts really....really tried me. oh well. I’m black. I like The Beatles. And I’m a victim of microaggressions, false accusations, gas lighting. I’m also out. bye.

black lives matter resources

[ilikelookingatthings]

Akatsuki no yona chapter 195: youtube comment I’m proud of: Part 4

though have you though about how yona actually soothed soo-won's attack when she showed up in her bed looking for min-soo?

seems you forgot that kaashi said very deliberately that she CAN''T read her own future. she can read everyone elses but not her own. though the question is...was yona not along in the carriage...or was she brought along but kaashi saw the attack in how it would affect yona so hid her outside the carriage to protect her. it was implied in previous mentions of that attack that yona had been with her but hadn't been killed so I don't think yona was just at the castle at home.

i love you just over thinking her future vision XD

its definitly understandable that since Il was never popular it makes sense some rebels might have attacked the carriage...it might be people who support yoo-hon that yoo-hon didn't know about. like we know kyek-sook says later that il stole yu-hon's rightful place as emperor even though it was the past emperor's choice. yon-hi assuming that for il to be chosen it HAS to be about yona or the priests stuff...not even considering maybe Il was chosen for other reasons.

I think the real tragedy is that Il lost his dad, his wife and then his brother. Il hadnt been properly trained for the thrown as yu-hon had been. thinking of how great Il's reign had been if the brother had lived is interesting. if yu-hon had the time to rally the tribes around the brother. Il would have the closest thing to a priest by his side if the mom had lived but we know Il isnt war hungry so he would be able to negotiate. but if his brother ha d been there king Il might have listened and understood some fighting at times were nessacary because he would have his bro by his side. they might actually be able to bond then especially since Il admitted he had been unfair to yon-hi. all he had was mundeok. his bro didnt have enough time to properly rally people around his brother yet so it seems no one really noticed that yu-hon really did want to help his bro other than soo-won. even kye-sook was more focused on being upset about yu-on not becoming emperior and made a plan to kill that brother than yu-hon loved so much and just wanted to support. the irony of knowing yu-hon wanted to support his bro but people who supported yu-hon in the long run killed his precious little brother....ouch.

what I find more fascinating is Yu-hon didnt really take seriously yon-hi's blood. he only made the promise to keep the secert because it bothered her family and it was what he needed to do to get permission to marry yon-hi. he didn't actually care or think her being a decendant was a big deal. just knew it was something that all of them would assume would be a negative or put her in danger. maybe because thir family tried to take over and fail before. or thought it was some sneak attack or something. people were so worried about it hey decided not to move to the capital. yu-hon didnt like the head priests and having to bow to him when yu-hon saw it as unnesacary and mocking his family. but he said if yo want to connect to god you dont need to bow or be inside fancy buildings or bow to the priests.

but now we find out that more neutral toward hirryu yu-hon now actually hates and admitted to really hating king hiiryu and resenting that first king who he blames for the illness and the gods who let yon-hi get affected. yu-hon is used to being a bad ass and attacking in war to protect and strengthen his country..but every time king hirryu is involved its more difficult. yu-hon's first instinct was to get rid of te priests who knew yon-hi's secert. killing all of them would insure the safety since some of them recognized yon-hi on site. theres a practical factor to being that cruel and yu-hon never liked them or thought them neccasary anyway. but because of his action yon-hi's mom killed herself. his relationship with his brother got really strained and his he upset his dad. the people not getting made would just make yu-hon think it wasnt that big of a deal. enabling that tendancy of his. we don't exactly see yon-hi scold him to try to help him communicate with his brther by tellig yu-hon that he isnt getting what he wants across before or even after her mom died.

but especially with what the maid said yu-hon might feel like yona, and kaashi the priest took his role away even if it seems he got over it. theres also the fact that yon-hi ad been brought to the head priest by kaashi that first time. yon-hi's sickness got triggered from the stress when kaashi told her about yona being the reincarnation the first time and yon-hi collaspsed in the presences of kaashi and yona. yu-hon who tends to pick fights....he resents the sickness that is going to kill his wife and the helplessness because there is nothing that yu-hon can do to stop this.

he can't protect his wife from this sickness. he can't fight it off for her. the dude doesnt really pray and he resents the gods who gave her this disease since its connected to her connection to the first king. and there will be a risk his son might get that disease too someday. theres a helplessness.

which might increase the chances tha yu-hon might project those feelings of hatred on kaashi and yona. he doesn't really know kaashi that well after all. she was there telling yon-hi the stuff that stressed her out and caused her to collapse and he might think kaashi resents yu-hon and yon-hi. yu-hon might know he hurt il my killing the priests but sees il would have more connection to yu-hon in the end. kaashi on the other had her job, livly hood, the only person who understood what she went through die. along with all the other priests, didnt know if isoo the little priest was okay. Kaashi herself was almost burned alive. only saved by his brother.

like kaashi would have every reason to fear and hate yu-hon and even yon-hi after what happened. he could think that she only wanted to marry Il o get close to yu-hon and yon-hi for revenge or something. yu-hon is a tactition and most would assume revenge or resenment. the fact that kaashi actually wanted to connect with yon-hi more even as il had still been more cautious. outing her identity to yon-hi first. she could have easily have hidden it but kaashi outed herself when they first met again by bringing up the simularity to their own real first meeting.

and yu-hon doesnt know what ttype of person kaashi is and he has alot of resentment toward hirryu and his own helplessness that has no where to go. and he brings up hating king hirryu on his own.

thats increasing the idea he might have done something to kaashi.

[jynandor]

SOLO stuff:

 SPOILERS AHEAD

- han and chewie’s relationship was the best part of it

- alden was alright, he did his own version of the character. didn’t love it but didn’t hate it either. i still think they could’ve cast someone with more physical resemblance to han or at least someone who has similar voice. sometimes it was hard to connect to him and think that’s han but slightly younger

- chewie stole the movie for me. the most emotional moment was when he bonded with some of the wookiees :’) (yeah the moment was brief but extremely adorable). he was just soooooo great <3 i love him so much

- i like some of the locations, new creatures and droids. however, i wish they mentioned some planet names in the movie? like, it would’ve been helpful.

- it’s an enjoyable flick, packed with action. humor was just okay for the most of it

- donald as lando was fine. however, i felt like his presence was minimal and didn’t really make that much of an impression on me? 

- first, didn’t like L3′s design. second, i understand that droid rights is a very important issue but i really didn’t need that mentioned every. few. minutes. of her screen time tbh (many of you will disagree but i found it really annoying)

- i had zero interest in new characters (especially qi’ra, dryden and tobias) (i keep calling him “matias” for some reason)

- generally speaking it had a lot of scenes connecting to prequels and also OT. but then again, i wouldn’t count this as criticism because, lbr, every new SW movie has done this (always connecting or paralleling scenes to older movies). they know fans love that. they like profiting on nostalgia, but also shitting on fans by telling us LeT The PasT Die, SW needs to become something else, stop living in the past! but they also like to earn money off of old characters, rebellion era, prequel references, etc lol. 

- romance was generally so damn underwhelming, han and qi’ra have no chemistry and i wish it wasnt pushed as hard. not even gonna comment hints @ lando/L3 having s*x, YIKES. val/tobias (that’s his name?) was also just thrown in because... of course she died few minutes later and it was mostly used just to show him grieve (about 2 minutes). thandie was criminally underused and it made me mad (this was like paige all over again). cant wait for new episode of westworld so i can fully enjoy her talent <3. 

- speaking of gross relationships dryden/qi’ra is another EVEN BIGGER YIKES. it was kind of only implied but anyway :/

- dryden looked like the most typical villain they could’ve thought of. like, if there was a manual on how to write your average but boring villain - they ticked all the boxes. 

- maul cameo was a bit random, but i get that they wanted to re-introduce him because of obi-wan movie (lmao if  they’re even doing this movie). but i dont care about his character so it made me feel mostly indifferent. some nitpicking ahead but i dont get the point of igniting the lightsaber in that scene? maybe it was all “hey guys, remember the prequels? the first movie we all like to forget sometimes? remember this guy was the sith, “killed” by obi-wan? see, he still has his lightsaber. and no he didnt die btw, you just need to watch two spin off shows to find out or buy novels, comics, etc”. or maybe just to intimidate qi’ra? dunno, it looked weird either way

- never understood why qi’ra went for han first during the fight scene when she clearly could’ve attacked dryden, without the whole drama and trying to make it look like kylo/rey/snoke throne room volume 2.

anyway,

final verdict: 6.5/10, it’s pretty much in the ranks of TFA for me, but certainly better than TLJ... which isn’t a great achievement. it was decent and enjoyable to some extent (even though i spent most of this post um... being kinda negative), but it didnt make any emotional impact on me PERSONALLY, except like one scene or two. BUT if you guys completely enjoyed this movie - it’s totally fine and i get it.