#Venom 2 online

[bridoesotherjunk]

Venom: Eddie, would you peel an orange for me?

Eddie: ... is this another internet thing?

Venom: Answer the question, Eddie. Would you peel an orange if I asked you?

Eddie: You need a screen time limit, babe.

[rookflower]

i don't manually clear out my followers on this account so just a note that if you are a self proclaimed proshipper i don't want you here and will most likely just immediately block you if i see you

[anyarose011]

Et tu, Brute?

Pairing: Emperor Geta x Reader x Lucius

Summary: You went by many different names: "Rome's Delight", "The Woman with the Golden Mouth", "Geta's Favorite Whore", and "Julia". None of these were your true name; all used just to dehumanize you as nothing more than a slave. When the General Acacius returns from conquering Numidia, and you meet one of the slaves that was brought from the bloodshed, you hope to reclaim not just your freedom...but power along with it.

Part 1 of 2 (Masterlist)

Warning(s): Depictions of rape and SA [not shown], slavery, cannon typical violence, minor Stockholm Syndrome, major character deaths, historical inacuracy [but I tried my best to make it somewhat accurate] and Spoilers for Gladiator II

I saw this movie once, watched Game of Thrones at the same time, and cranked out a story where you, the reader, know how to play "The Game" (but also not because let's keep it kinda realistic) I'm gonna be honest, this might be a hot mess, and I used a script I found online (but Idk how accurate it is). Also, this first part is just mainly story based with the events of the film the SECOND part will focus on reader and Lucius' relationship (including smut, you sluts {I am also slut, don't worry}.

I do want to say though that the depictions of SA are in no attempt to romanticize them. I also decided not to write out the specific scenes because I myself am a survivor, and wanted to focus more on the protagonist's growth. The trauma still affects her story, but I do not want to write rape scenes merely for shock purposes.

Also, if you name is actually "Julia"...no it's not :)

Word Count: 16.1k

It was your own fault, that was what they tried to make you believe.

How dare you not wish to participate in the public baths, how dare you desire to bathe in the place you felt most safe.

Foolish, foolish girl. You were not even safe on your own porch in the house you grew up in.

Your father hadn’t been the wealthiest of merchants, but before he passed into the Elysian Fields after his death that year, he had made a fortune; so much as to buy a bathtub for your house.

If anything, you had bathed at night when you believed no one could see you not for your own modesty, but to prevent anyone from stealing it.

Yet, one particular night, a man had spotted you.

The Emperor Geta of Rome had watched your naked form glisten in the moonlight as you washed the most intimate areas of your body; sighing at the feeling of being clean after the day, only for your soul to feel tainted once morning broken.

Guards had nearly broken the hinges off the front door to your house, and dragged you to the palace. You had lived in that house for your entire life, the same neighbors beside you, yet as you kicked and screamed…none helped.

You had grown tired once in the palace, and the eldest of the twin emperors stood before you. He cupped your chin.

“What is your name, girl?”

You answered him, attempting to speak with venom, but the quaking of your voice betrayed anxiety.

He hummed, repeating your name. “Why are you all alone?”

You huffed. “My mother died in the battle that is childbirth, and my father was lost to an ailment in his loins.”

“You have no brothers?” Geta questioned, his eyes running down your form. “No husband?”

“They called my father strange for leaving me his possessions.”

“He mustn’t have passed on so long ago.”

“Why does the death of my father concern you if you only seek my body?” You questioned.

A smile twisted upon his lips. “Perhaps I like to know my fruit before I devour it.”

And he kissed you.

You had been kissed before, but this was the first time you hadn’t wanted to be. You hadn't expected him to be serious about devouring you. His teeth sank into your chin, then your cheeks, until they were finally upon your lips.

It was the first time, in all your life, you felt your body grow cold and freeze despite his hands wandering over you, pulling at the thin fabric of clothing that covered you.

You fell to the floor, clinging to it desperately as he tried to lead you to his chambers. You had expected him to order one of his men to kill you, or have them carry you…

Instead, he took you right there. He simply lifted his own robes then yours and stole what wasn’t his to take.

All you remembered of that was counting how many pillars were in the room.

You were one of his several concubines. Yet, despite being the newest, you were his favorite.

“Julia,” he whispered to you in the night a month after he had made you his. A month after he had decided to call you by his mother’s name instead of your own. “are you awake?”

You mewled, sitting up. “I am now, my love. What is it?”

Geta smiled, holding out a stack of parchment. “Look at what some of the men found in Carthago.”

You rubbed your eyes as the lamps in his room brightened before looking down at the crudely written words. Geta looked at you in earnest.

“Can you read them?”

A few days prior at him and his brother Caracalla’s birthday festivities, it was revealed that you spoke five languages: Latin, Phoenician, Aramaic, Hebrew, and Greek. Your father had taught you every single one of them to fend for yourself amongst all kind of people.

Now, it was nothing more than a shameless trick Geta used to his amusement.

“Rome’s Cleopatra,” he deemed you in front of the crowd. “the Woman with a Golden Mouth”.

Everyone in that room and all of Rome knew that your ability to speak so many dialects was not the only reason he gave you that title.

Still, as you lay in his bed with crumbling parchment in hands, you forced a tender smile. “Yes, I know what it says. Would you like to know?”

He laid his head in your lap without another word.

Months passed, and he had grown kinder…only when it was night, and even so, that was only when the moon was full.

There wasn’t a day where your body hadn’t ached from the turmoil he put you through. It was hard to discern when he would want you to be small and subservient to him, or confident and commanding in matters of the bed.

The handmaids that were blessed to not be in bed with him would bathe and coddle you as best as they could, for even through your suffering, you tried your best to treat them with kindness.

You didn’t even know who you were after the fourth month of being Geta’s slave.

Gone was the girl who had a peaceful life; there was now the Emperor’s Pet.

General Marcus Acacius returned to Rome after overtaking the kingdom Numidia in the emperors’ names, and it was the first time you were in his presence. It was certainly a surprise that Geta would string you alongside him on personal matters that had nothing to do with sex.

The general would glance at you every so often, and his look of pity felt more violating that any of the times Geta, or his brother, or anyone else in all of Rome had looked at you.

Upon the general’s return, a series of games at the Colosseum were to be hosted, among parties that would last for the remaining week.

The first was at Senator Thraex's home.

“My little Julia,” Geta caressed your cheek as you sat upon his lap in the makeshift throne. “might you fetch me another cup of wine?”

You nodded, taking his cup and kissing his hair. “I shall, my love.”

He ran his fingers down your neck as you got off of him and made your way to the barrels. Yet, as you passed an open door, something caught your eye. Peeking around the somewhat crack in the door, you saw a few men sat in the room, chains around their ankles and their wrists.

One of them, more muscular than the others with brown curls, held his head low. His skin wasn’t as dark as other men from Africa Propria, but not as pale as the Germanic lands.

When his eyes met yours, you saw a pale blueness only seen in the sky on a summer’s day.

Gasping, you hid behind the door for only a moment before looking again. His gaze was still on you. Deciding to end the strangeness of the situation, you spoke.

“I’m sorry.” You apologized.

He said nothing; you tried again.

“I’m sorry.” You said in Greek.

The look in his eyes changed to confusion, but he said nothing.

“Hebrew?” You questioned. “Aramaic? Phoenician?”

“You speak Phoenician?” He asked as if he hadn’t heard it in forever.

You nodded. “I speak five languages.”

“Ah,” he answered in your native tongue to your surprise. “Rome’s Cleopatra.”

Your nose scrunched as if you smelt something rotten. “You understood me the first time?”

“I did.”

“So why not say anything?”

“What am I to say to your pity?”

You hummed. “I do not pity you, I was showing respect.”

He scoffed. “Respect? Am I a man that looks as if I deserve respect?”

“I believe every man deserves respect so as long he is kind.” You glared at him.

The man shook his head, sighing. “You are a foolish child if you believe that men can be kind.”

“I haven’t for quite a while.” you stated. “I pray that it is the hope that kills me.”

He questioned. “And not one of the emperors?”

“What is your name, slave?” You crossed your arms.

He huffed, drawing his eyes away from you and clenching his fists before relaxing them. “Hanno.”

You nodded. “They call me ‘Julia’.”

“But that is not your name.”

It was blistering hot that particular day, but you felt your body run cold; the same cold you felt when Geta…when he first…

“Who says it is not my name?” You challenged.

“You are merely a concubine,” he said. “you are not a part of his lineage, and therefore, your name is not ‘Julia’.”

You do not know why you seethed with so much rage from his words. You did not even spit on him; you merely stomped away from that door, filled up the emperor’s cup, and went back to Geta.

“It took you nearly a millennium to come back, my sweet.” He scoffed yet kissed your bare shoulder. “I was beginning to worry.”

You shook your head, leaning against him as you sat on the arm of the throne. “You mustn’t over me, my love.”

“You seem distressed.” Caracalla teased beside you. “This is a festivity; you should be merry!”

All you did was smile and nod. It was a pleasant change from the parties you were forced to attend in the past; you weren’t the center of attention, and this was the first time Geta dressed you in the bright colors everyone else wore instead of white.

You could pretend you were royalty for a day.

Not so long after you came back, both Thraex and Macrinus, a stable master who traveled far and wide for new gladiators, approached with their own champions to fight.

You were not even at the Colosseum, and yet, violence still had to be played for everyone’s amusement.

Hanno entered from the door you had previously been at, and another man entered from the opposite side of the room. Both were given swords.

“Brother,” Hanno began. “let us not kill each other for their amusement-.”

The other man struck him without hesitation. You had seen fights before, but none like this. It was ruthless, quick yet drawn out. Hanno lost his sword in the middle of it all, leading to him smashing a flowerpot over his opponent’s head.

The fight was still not done, he rose up on his feet and took his sword from the ground, raising it high above him. Hanno, against all odds, knocked him back onto the ground and took the sword just as they both sood, stabbing his opponent in the chest.

A chorus of cheers and groans echoed in the room. Geta arose from his seat, laughing and applauding as you sat there, eyes as wide as they could be at the bloodied sight before you.

“Remarkable! Gladiator, which part of the Empire do you hail from?” He questioned Hanno. Hanno stood stoically, glaring at the emperors before him. Geta tutted, turning to you. “Julia, open your golden mouth and-.”

“-The gates of hell are open night and day.” Hanno interrupted in the common language. “Smooth the descent, and easy is the way: But to return, and view the cheerful skies, in this the task and mighty labor lies.”

Geta smiled. “Ah…a poet!”

The rest of the world fell away as you could not tear your gaze away from the man laying on the floor. If he hadn’t died from his wounds, he would’ve from choking on his own blood.

“-You understand, don’t you?” Geta asked.

You sat in your own personal chambers that night for the first time in a while. You were never overjoyed to be in his bed, but being sent to your own perplexed you.

Then, he simply told you that you were to be General Acacius’ for the night.

“He’s sacrificed so much, my little Julia.” Geta combed his fingers through your hair to soothe you. “I refused him once already; I cannot do so again. Do you understand?”

The emperor had never shared you with anyone. He wasn’t delicate with you, but at least you knew what to expect.

He clenched your jaw. “I do not care to ask you a third time, girl.”

“Yes,” you squeaked. “I understand, Geta.”

Nodding, he softened his hold, leaning his head against yours. “You are still mine alone; I promise, it will only be us after tonight.”

You swallowed thickly. “Okay.”

“There she is.” He kissed your lips before pulling away and standing. “He will be in right away. Do not fret, I told him to be gentle with you.”

Geta left through your chamber doors without another word. There you were, sitting on your bed, draped in silks you should have known were given to you out of lust and not out of kindness. Your eyes trailed to the empty vase on a table beside your bed.

You didn’t know what possessed you that night, but you yanked it off the table, and smashed it on your bed. The handle of the door began to rattle. Quickly pushing the shattered pieces under your bed, you hid a shard behind your back and sat at the head of the bed.

In came General Marcus Acacius, wearing only a thin overshirt that went down to his knees. You’d done this game of seduction many times with Geta, how different could it be for him? Grabbing the bottom of your night dress, you raised it until it bunched up your thighs, revealing your bare center to him.

He took a hitched breath. “My lady-.”

“-What troubles you, general?” You asked then smiled with gritted teeth. You felt your hand begin to ache as you squeezed the vase shard.

Marcus furrowed his brow, and as if he already knew, he said. “Cover yourself and show me what is behind your back.”

Your eyes dropped along with your heart. Still, as his face turned into a scowl, you cooperated. Handing him the shard and quickly pulling your dress back down, you spoke with intensity.

“If you will not stab me before you rape my corpse, then I shall throw myself from the nearest window and allow the people of Rome to defile me. I will not lie on my back and take it anymore.”

He took a deep breath, holding the sorry excuse for a weapon in his hand. “It is unwise to tell the enemy your plans.”

…What?

“It would serve you greatly to control the faces you make before harming a man as well. Yet, above all,” He held the shard out to you. “your enemy is not afraid to kill you; you should feel the same.”

“Why do you tell me this?” You asked, still not believing it.

Marcus sat up. “I believe we can help each other, my little dove.”

“How?”

He lowered his voice. “You have heard of the gladiator Maximus, his dream of a free Rome, yes?”

“Yes.”

“A dream that cannot be obtained from the rule of two emperors.” He lamented. “My wife and I, along with several others, plan…to fulfill our shared dream.”

They were going to overthrow Geta and Caracalla.

“What gives you reason to believe I won’t say a word of this to them?” You asked.

He smiled for the first time since you’d seen him. “That freedom belongs to you.”

“I…I’m still lost. How will I be of any use?”

“Emperor Geta favors you considerably. He is a man, and not a cunning one at that. There are ways to wear foolish men down.”

You nodded, beginning to understand. “There’s always a woman.”

“There’s always a woman.” He solidified. “Gain the trust of the public; make them love you, and they will not see the emperor’s whore but a woman of the people.”

“And how will that dethrone them?

He smiled. “My wife and I will meet with the counsel tomorrow night. I will send for you.”

You scoffed. “Geta said that after tonight I am just his alone.”

“Then I’ll refuse to give him Persia and India.”

“He’ll have your head.” You berated. “Besides, I don’t think he’d believe my cunt would be worth two countries.”

Marcus shrugged. “Considering he only wants you to himself, I have no doubt that it is worth that much. But I am unable to confirm it.”

You sighed. “Even if he’ll allow it, he’ll send a guard with me.”

“I am not one to invite a third into the bedroom.”

“Then where shall-?”

“-Little dove,” he interrupted. “the city was not built in a day, therefore it cannot be emancipated in one.”

Gods help and forgive you for being impatient on wanting to be free. Still, you composed yourself. “Alright.”

He nodded, standing up. “I will be seeing you on the morrow, one way or another.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“For what, child?”

You swallowed thickly, avoiding his gaze. “Not forcing yourself upon me.”

Marcus’ face softened, and he lowered himself to your height as you sat on the bed. He took your face into his hands, and you immediately tensed when his face drew closer to yours.

“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered. “it’s not that kind of a kiss.”

With a tenderness that reminded you of your father, he placed his lips on your forehead and pulled away. Giving you one last knowing nod, he promptly left your chambers.

You wanted to do nothing more than shed tears of happiness, yet for no reason at all, you could not cry.

Your father had only taken you to the Colosseum to watch mock animal hunting. Even when your friends invited you to watch gladiator fights or other public executions, he had found ways of making you stay far away from them.

There was a strange humor in sitting in the best chair for your very first gladiator duel. That being in the front as Emperor Geta ran his hand up and down your back.

In utter honestly, you tried to stray your attention away from the fights, speaking more with Caracalla of all people. He was more erratic than Geta by far, and it was more difficult to tell when he would be kind one moment, then out for blood the next.

Yet at least he was open about being cruel, unlike his brother.

When you would watch the fights…a familiar face seemed to catch both you and the general’s wife’s, Lucilla, eye.

The man with light skin yet hailed from Numidia…Hanno.

You hadn’t recognized him at first, for it wasn’t his mere presence that drew you to finally look at the event before you. No, it was the way he fought.

Most men previously had attacked with brute force; just stabbing the beast and hoping it would die. Hanno fought with wit. Simply using the sand beneath his feet as an advantage, blinding and tricking the rhinoceros to run directly into the wall.

He was cunning…he commanded the men beside him as if it weren’t the first time he’d done so in his life.

Then, when it came to deciding his fate when all seemed lost…Geta turned to you.

“My love,” he played with a strand of your hair. “shall I show the poet mercy, or bloodshed for your entertainment?”

Even if it weren’t Hanno, your answer would have been the same. “Mercy.”

As a hush fell over the crow, Geta rose his thumb up, sparing him. As cheers erupted, Hanno shook his head.

“No, no mercy.”

Geta furrowed his brow. “Gladiator, we have spared your life. No one refuses-.”

“-I would sooner face your blade than accept Roman mercy!”

Thus, the fight continued. An act of defiance…Peculiar…Quite peculiar.

Both you and Marcus were correct about the night; Geta did indeed allow you to go to the general’s house, but only if you were escorted by a trusted guard. When you arrived, Marcus immediately draped you in a cloak, practically covering your face and had excused as not wanting the staff to tell his wife of who he was bringing into their house.

Marcus led you into his chambers, and there you saw two people. Apparently, they weren’t even apart of the counsel; simply paid to pretend to be both you and the general as the guard would listen outside, assume it was the two of you fucking.

He had certainly thought through every little detail.

Marcus pushed on a stone in his chambers, revealing a hidden door. You had only heard of these within stories, and as he led you down the darkened passage with only a torch in one hand, and the other holding yours, you had never felt more alive since your past life had been stolen.

You were welcomed to a room filled with dozens of the senate you had passed by in the palace. How strange it was to see them all huddled into a dimly lit room, plotting the demise of the men they initially swore to serve.

An arm looped through yours, and it was Lucilla. She whispered into your ear.

“Whatever you have to say, speak it to me, and I shall speak to them.”

You turned. “Why must I not speak for myself?”

“I only allowed you to be here if Marcus agreed to not let your voice be heard.”

“What?”

“I will explain more to you soon after, I vow it.”

Thus the meeting began. In all truthfulness, you were only able to understand the bare minimum: In a few days’ time, Marcus would lead five-thousand men into Rome to overtake the thrones of the empire, and thus destroy them, restoring the Roman Republic.

When the conversation turned to you, you were merely referred to as an informant who had the closest relationship to the emperor.

It still perplexed you as to why you needed to remain anonymous; there was an excellent chance they would know you as ‘Geta’s Favorite Whore’.

Yet, you did your best to inform the counsel of a plan you had simply created on the spot (they did not need to know the latter part of it).

You would gain more favor from the public, while at the same time, putting Geta’s worries to rest about any uprising or dislike from the majority of the empire.

How you would do that…it was fortunate that they didn’t ask you to give specifics.

Once the meeting ended, you were taken back up from the secret passage, yet instead of going back to the chambers, you felt Lucilla take your hand and lead you down another path.

You couldn’t even get a sound out before she said. “It is alright; he knows I want to speak with you in private. We will not take long.”

She led you up into the bath area of the house. It was quite beautiful; the tub wasn’t made of porphyry, but that did not make it any less exquisite. There was something about it being lesser of the baths you’ve had in the palace. It wasn’t entirely reminiscent of the one you had at home…

But you felt safer.

Lucilla had been gentle in pulling off your robes, and never once did it feel wrong. You were a woman and so was she. She never pulled or scratched your skin, and you knew that she only felt sorrow when she gazed upon the bruises and wounds you had received from Geta.

“How long have you been at the palace?” She questioned as she carded herbs through your hair.

You glanced at her, sighing. “I’ve stopped counting…months, I know.”

“Were you forced to leave any family? Brothers, sisters, children?”

“No. My mother died birthing me, and my father was taken half a year ago to an ailment emperor Caracalla also suffers from.”

She hummed. “Have you ever been in love?”

You laughed the most genuine laugh ever since you became a slave. “Why on earth would you ask that?!”

“I am merely curious!” She teased. “You are truly beautiful, and there is no doubt that men would throw themselves off cliffs for you; but it matters most of who you would choose.”

Her question scraped your mind. There had been times you were fond of, even lusted over, men both your age and older…but love? The only one you experienced would be storge; perhaps philia…but eros? Agape?

“I don’t think I have been.” You answered. “Have you?”

She nodded, a forlorn look in her eyes, but smile upon her mouth. “Twice.”

“Twice?” You couldn’t help the nervous giggle that left your throat. “It can happen twice?”

“It’s possible, yes.”

“And who have you willingly fell captive to?”

“Marcus is the most recent, though there are days I do not understand what he sees in me. Then…the father of my child.”

Lucilla poured water upon your head to wash out the soap in your hair, and a silence fell over both of you. One that was broken when you spoke a name.

“Lucius…”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“He-he had gone missing all those years ago, hadn’t he?”

“He had.” She ran the bar of soap over the top half of your body. “I believe he must’ve been around your age when he ran away.”

“And there hasn’t been any sign of him since?”

“No.” She answered right away.

You curled into yourself. “I apologize if I upset you my lady-.”

“-No. I…I love talking about him.”

You managed a gentle smile to soothe her. “What was he like?”

“Headstrong.” She chuckled. “Wanted to become a gladiator more than anything in the world. Yet, he was gentle, and kind as well. He…I believe he would’ve adored you.”

You shook your head. “Maybe when we were children, but I don’t think so now.”

“It’s hard to judge.”

Whilst the air between you turned into more intimate topics, the question that had weighed on your mind was brought to light. “Why did you not allow me to speak or show my face tonight?”

Lucilla stopped her ministrations. You looked up at her, and the look she wore bore an exhaustion that you had felt recently.

“I know too well the cruelties of men.” She began softly. “My brother had done everything to keep me from ever resisting him…he had done everything. I had only wished for someone to be there with me at every moment when I faced his abuse.”

Words; simple words that meant everything to you was what made you weep.

There was no warning at all. Once she was finished, tears sprang to your eyes, and you felt your sinus clog up. Even as you tried to tear yourself away from her comfort, she merely wrapped her arms around you in an embrace from a mother you had never felt.

“I don’t want to go back.” You begged. “Please don’t let me.”

She kissed your hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“No!” You sobbed. “I-I don’t want to! Please, please, you can’t make me. I-I-I-!”

Lucilla shushed you, rocking you back and forth. “Do not weep. You will be free beside all of Rome, and the past months of your life will be nothing more than a distant, horrible dream.”

You pulled away just enough to look at her. “You-you must promise me something.”

“My child-.”

“-Promise me and I shall help you overthrow them until my last dying breath!”

She stared for a moment before nodding. “Yes. What is it?”

Your lip quivered. “When I die, you must bind my legs with chains or ropes when you bury me. I have,” you whimpered. “I have been told of men who dig up the bodies of girls and…”

Lucilla kissed your forehead before holding you once more. “I vow I will honor your wishes.”

All you could do was believe her.

There were more times than not the Emperor Geta would talk about filling you with his seed as he bedded you. You never were able to discern if he was serious about wanting to give you a child (they would be his, not yours).

It all became too real when you didn’t bleed that month.

Yet, you also did not feel sick in the morning, and your breasts hadn’t swelled. You still had urinated on wheat seeds for several weeks, but they had not sprouted.

You weren’t with child…yet there was nothing stopping you from convincing Rome you were. It would certainly be a risk; for there was no telling how Geta would react. But that was a risk you were willing to take.

Once a week, you were allowed to go outside the palace during the day, and you had chosen then to venture out into the numerous markets. It was nice to speak with the merchants you knew from your childhood. Some were elders who would watch over you when your father was busy, others were friends who had grown up with you.

“Now what would a little empress want with commoner’s food?” A man’s low timbre voice asked behind you.

Turning your head, you saw Macrinus standing before you with a curious grin. You mirrored it. “That’s not an appropriate title for me.”

“Ah, you are correct.” He nodded. “My apologies, ‘Lady with The Golden Mouth’. Or do you prefer ‘Rome’s Delight?’.”

“You may call me whatever you wish if you’d like.” You forced a laugh and turned back to the merchant you had known since you were a babe. “I’ll take a sack of wheat and small bag of garlic, Gaius.”

“Of course, lady Julia.”

Not even a childhood friend could say your real name. A tight smile formed upon your lips when he turned to sack the wheat before you. Macrinus spoke again.

“You still didn’t answer me about why you’re exactly here.”

“I am not an empress.” You turned to him. “I am not a queen from another realm, I am not even a lady. I am a lowly whore that was fortunate enough to be chosen by the emperor. I like to keep my own schedule from before, so I am aloud to bake my own bread.”

He hummed. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

Gaius handed you the sack of wheat and garlic, and you held out three silver coins. He shook his head. “No, just a copper-.”

“-Please.” Was all you said.

He hesitated, then took them from you, smiling. “May Fortuna rain a thousand blessings upon your head.”

“And unto you as well.” You curtsied and turned on your heel to leave.

Macrinus walked beside you. “How generous you are.”

“I try to be.” You decided to change the topic. “You are in charge of Hanno, are you not?”

“I certainly am, why do you ask?”

“Just out of interest.” You shrugged. “There is talk of him being similar to the one Maximus from years ago. Many admire him already and it has only been a day.”

Macrinus laughed. “It is my duty to entertain the people. I noticed though that you are more prudish of the games.”

“I must admit, I am not used to the violence.”

“A sheltered girl?”

“Ashamedly so.”

“There is no shame at all. So, it is the Numidian that has captured your affection?” He teased. “How scandalous for the young empress to fall for a slave.”

You chuckled. “Nothing of the sort, I just find him amusing.”

“Oh, I am more than happy to let you see him alone if you ever so desire. You don’t need to wander upon him at another party.”

Your carefree air fell once he asked that. “I don’t know what you-.”

“-It’s alright.” He interrupted. “There’s nothing wrong with being curious, I am only concerned for your own safety.”

You stood taller, a shy smile upon your lips. “I am capable of taking care of myself, sir.”

“Of course my lady, why else would you be out here in the streets of commoners without a chaperone?”

Purposefully, you turned onto one of the crowded piazzas where the music and laughter was the loudest. You grinned from ear to ear.

“Oh please, don’t tell me you volunteered yourself to keep me safe.”

He laughed. “No, just wanted to say hello.”

You didn’t have time to respond, as one of the performers had recognized you. Ah, a girl that lived in the house across from yours when you were children! You still remembered her name, and after you passed your belongings to Macrinus, she pulled you into the circle of performers, dancing with you.

You laughed the most you had that year; in fact, you swore your bruised your ribs just from the sheer joy you felt. You don’t know how long you danced and sang with those who were your neighbors and friends, but just as you felt your feet begin to give out, Macrinus put his hand on your shoulder.

“I believe you should go back to the palace and rest.”

Nodding, you said farewell to your companions and took the bag of wheat and garlic back from him. “You are right, thank you so much.”

He grinned. “Let me escort you back.”

“No,” you walked ahead of him. “I wish not to bother you anymore. Good day, Macrinus!”

You lost yourself in the crowd, purposefully making it harder for him to follow. Once you were in the palace, you rushed into the kitchen, holding the sack of wheat behind your back, you greeted the cooks and snuck into the small pantry. You set the sack down on a shelf and pocketed two single reeds, along with an onion.

That night, Geta had called you into his chambers. Before going, you had cut the onion and brought it to hover around your eyes. You were crying by the time you were at his door. Immediately, he took notice of your reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

“What is it, what’s wrong?”

You shook your head, only crying more. It was less because of the onion now, and just everything coming down crashing onto your shoulders once more. Geta pulled you into his chambers by your shoulders, sitting you on the bed.

“Tell me now what is bothering you.” He commanded.

You shook your head. “I-I can’t-.”

“-Now, Julia!”

Taking a deep breath, you reached into the pocket of your breast, taking out the two reeds and setting it in his hand. He furrowed his brows.

“I do not understand.”

You took a deep breath. “The handmaids have given me wheat and barley seeds ever since I have arrived. If they grow, then that means…that means I am with child.”

The look on his face spoke it all. You were certain you were dead.

“I-I didn’t know how you would feel, and-and so I-.”

He crushed you in an embrace, attaching his lips to your jaw. “Jupiter has blessed me.”

It was the first time you felt happiness in his presence. Of course, not because of him, but still joy. You returned his embrace, sighing in relief. “You are happy?”

“Happy?” He pulled away, holding your face in his hands. “There is nothing in this world that could sadden me right now. I will have an heir.”

As long as it was a boy (if it were real at all).

You feigned your smile and leaned into his touch. “I am fortunate to give you one.”

“And I am most fortunate to have you.” He laid down and brought you with him.

Perhaps, in another life, he was kind to you and didn’t only value you until you gave him a child. Perhaps you would be in love with him, and he would make you empress

But you weren’t fortunate to be born into that fantasy.

You wished nothing more than to sit with Marcus and Lucilla as you made your way into the emperor’s booth of the Colosseum. The three of you had managed to speak to one another, but only about meaningless things. Still, you just enjoyed their company.

 It would be more exciting that day. A naval battle, the Naumachia. The arena was filled with water and sea creatures you could never even possibly imagine. It was a wonder in and of itself how all the ships managed to fit themselves in the arena.

“Caracalla,” you said to the brother beside you as you were about to take your seat. He looked up upon hearing his name. You handed him the bag filled with garlic. “I finally found some for you.”

He grinned from ear to ear. “And you say that if I mix this with myrrh, I shall be cured?”

“It should treat the lesions on your skin.” You corrected. “This is what I did for my father.”

He died of the same ailment, but Caracalla didn’t ask; simply smiled. “Thank you, dear sister.”

You nodded, sitting down on the arm of Geta’s throne that would have put you in the middle of him and his brother. He wrapped his arm around you.

“You’ve been far kinder these days.” Geta pointed out.

“Perhaps that means I’ll be the most agreeable mother.” You jested, kissing his cheek.

He smirked, and as the man on the far end of the Colosseum began to announce the games, Geta stood up and rose his grail.

“I would like to propose a toast!” He yelled. The crowd fell silent, and you felt your skin crawl away from you. Geta continued. “To the health of wives and to mothers. Especially to my lover, Julia, who carries my son the moment as we speak!"

An eruption of applause and cheers filled the stadium. You blushed upon the praise, and genuinely wanted to hide yourself from the gaze of everyone; especially the ones closest to you. You could feel both Marcus and Lucilla’s eyes on you, attempting to hide their shock and perhaps horror. The worst was that of Macrinus.

He knew. Just from the look of him (or perhaps it was your own paranoia), but he had to have known from the moment you bought the wheat.

Still, they all applauded, and ones the excitement of your supposed pregnancy died down, the enthusiasm for the battle was born.

It was perhaps the one event you could stomach. While you could still clearly see men dying, it wasn’t as horribly bloody as the prior. Were you becoming numb to the cruelty of these games because you were pretending…or were you letting the game invade your head?

As several ships collided within the growing chaos, men would either die from their fellow man or would simply fall into the water and be devoured by beasts you had never seen until then. Your eyes had been following Hanno the whole time, whether purposefully or not.

Words could not describe the terror that had been brought upon you as you saw him aim his crossbow at the booth you sat in.

You did not think the arrow would pierce you, but it did. It longed into your right shoulder, and a cry you had no idea you were capable of making tore through your throat.

Tears blinded your vision, but the screams from the whole arena deafened your ears you could not even hear what Geta was saying to you.

You could barely make out Marcus’ in front of you as he snapped the body of the arrow and then hoisted you into his arms. You’d never been carried like this as a woman; only as a child by your father.

The heat of Rome felt hotter that day as the pain in your shoulder only grew tighter and tighter as if your skin was going to stretch away from you. The next thing you knew, you were laid upon a cold, solid surface, and sound returned to your ears.

“It’s alright, you’re alright.” Geta shushed, brushing your hair. “You’ll be okay.”

Someone stuck their fingers into your wounded shoulder, and you could only scream. A tender hand laid itself on your cheek, and just from touch alone, you knew it was Lucilla.

“Do not touch her!” Geta hissed, swatting her away.

“No, no!” You whined, reaching out and holding onto her.

Lucilla dropped to her knees, kissing every part of skin that was available, mumbling. “I know, I know. This too shall pass, you are stronger than you believe, my dear.”

Then, just like that, you felt the arrowhead leave your body. The pain was still excruciating beyond belief, but all that was left was for your arm to be wrapped in cloth, and to rest.

One of the guards in charge of the gladiators approached you when you were finally able to sit up.

“My lady,” he began. “did you happen to get a look at the man who shot you?”

“She’s only starting to recover!” Geta snapped. “How dare you. She carries my child, and-!”

“-It’s alright, Geta.” You soothed.

You could’ve done it. Told him with full confidence that it was Hanno. There would have been your chance of power; to kill the man who had nearly killed you.

Yet…you were vindictive and wanted to do it yourself.

“I have no memory.” You told him. “It happened so fast.”

How horrible it is that Geta would stop forcing you to pleasure him only when you were supposedly with his child and injured. You assumed that if you were suffering from only one of those ailments, than he still would’ve held you down and used you.

You thought nothing else would happen that night. You would simply speak to one another, pretending to be completely enamored by his existence, and then lie down to sleep.

Of course, that would be too peaceful.

You were awoken gently, to your surprise, by Geta shaking you. Humming, you rubbed your eyes. “What is it?”

“The general and his whore wife.” He gritted his teeth. “They planned to kill us.”

You shot right up, forgetting about your injured shoulder, and let out a cry. Geta helped you stand, and that was when you saw Caracalla standing before you, his monkey companion Dundus perching upon his shoulder.

“How-how do we know?” You stammered, not having to feign your terror.

Neither of them answered, and the three of you were led out into the throne room. There before you in their night clothes just as you were, Lucilla and Marcus.

Geta approached them first, seething. “The honor, the dignitas that Rome has bestowed upon you. All this you have forfeited by your treachery. Thanks to the civic virtue of men like Macrinus and Thraex your insurrection has been revealed-.”

 “-Torture me if you want,” Marcus shook his head. “but please, don’t lecture me.”

Geta’s face turned almost as red as his hair. “Your name and deeds will be forgotten, lost to history! You are damned to oblivion!”

“You damn me?” He laughed. “I don’t care. Everything is forgotten in time. Empires fall… and so do Emperors.”

Caracalla rose from his seat, reaching for his brother’s sword. “Why wait? I'll gut him right now!”

Geta grabbed onto him. “Brother! Brother! His death must be public.”

“Public, yes. Hang his entrails from the city gates!” He pointed at Lucilla. “Crucify her!”

“No!”

All eyes fell on you after your outburst. Even you froze in place, feeling bile begin to rise up within you. Geta let go of Caracalla. “‘No?’ You say? What would you have me do then?”

Swallowing thickly, it was hard to speak as tears began to fall. You held your stomach. “Crucifixion is…it’s…”

His face dropped into a scowl. “You aren’t saying I should let them live, are you?”

“No-!”

“-Then which is it?!”

Your voice fell silent as your chest constricted, and you could barely breathe. Your mouth would move, but nothing came out; not even strangled noises of desperation.

“If I may, your grace,” Macrinus stepped forward. “I believe she means to bring equal punishments to the crimes committed.”

Geta furrowed his brow. “I do not know what you speak of.”

“Please, let the rest of them out of the room so I might explain more clearly.’

He considered his words, then turned to his guards. “The criminals to the dungeons, my brother to his chambers, and my love-.”

“-I wish to be alone tonight.” You stated.

The emperor scoffed. “What?”

“The babe.” You began. “I-I have helped many women deliver their children, and what has always caused an early birth is stress. I-I cannot take any-anymore of it, or I fear…”

Finally, he took in the sight of your fearful face. Sighing heavily, he said. “Put my lady in her chambers for tonight.”

“Thank you.” You kissed his hand.

You were led into your own chambers, and once the door was shut, you threw yourself onto your bed and wept. You wept until you were wailing into the night, you wept until your eyes were as red as the sun in the morning, you wept until it hurt to continue to do so…

It was unknown how long you had cried, but the opening of your bedroom door is what alarmed you. Snapping your head over in the direction, you were shocked to see Macrinus.

“The general and his wife’s fate has been decided.” He stated.

You held a pillow to your chest, rubbing your reddened nose. “And what is it?”

“The emperor has chosen to let the gods decide, and Acacius will fight against Hanno tomorrow in the arena.”

“You mean you convinced him to.” You glared.

Macrinus approached you. “May I try some of the bread you have baked, my lady?”

You held no confusion when he asked you that. Surprise, yes; but you knew what he asked. You took a deep breath. “I believe I don’t understand.”

“The wheat you bought only days ago.” He reminded. “You said you would bake your own bread. Surely, you didn’t use it as false proof of you carrying the emperor’s heir?”

You didn’t dare look at him. Even when he laid his hand on our back, rubbing circles over your nightdress. “I wish to help you, my child. You must be willing to help me first.”

That was why he also didn’t alert Geta of your betrayal…unless, he had no idea of your alliance with Marcus and Lucilla.

“What is it that you want?” You asked.

“All in time.” He soothed. “I wish to give you the privilege to speak to someone.”

You finally looked at him, your eyes wide. “General Acacius?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I am unable to escort you to the dungeons below the palace. Yet, I can take you to the pit of gladiators.”

“It is easier for you to take me out of the palace than below it?”

“Take you to the man who nearly overthrew the emperors?” He chuckled bitterly. “Not possible. I cannot grant you the gift to say goodbye, but I can allow you to bargain for his life.”

You blinked. “Hanno?”

“Correct.”

“How can I leave the palace at this hour, after what has just happened?”

“You underestimate the silence men will take when it is weighed in gold.” He tutted. “I can only give you ten minutes with him. Will you go or not?”

You were forced to decide quickly…This could be your chance. He had nearly took your life the other day, and the pain in your shoulder was just a growing reminder of that. If he were dead…there was no way you could overtake him.

Yet, you learned that, in a world of men, you didn’t have to be stronger than them: Only smarter, and faster.

“I will go.”

You had hidden a kitchen knife under your bed the moment you had your own chambers. Geta had gifted you several colorful ribbons he loved to see you wear in your hair. He perhaps did not expect you to tie one around your waist under your gown, securing the knife.

Macrinus led you swiftly from the palace to the gladiator pit, which was thankfully not a long walk. You ignored the stares and intrigued calls from the other men as you treaded the halls. You were stopped by a door. Macrinus didn’t even warn Hanno who stood shirtless in his cell, only opened the door and let you enter.

“I’ll rattle the door when it’s time.” That was all he said and left.

Hanno didn’t even seem alarmed. “And what is Rome’s Delight doing here?”

Your blood boiled upon seeing him, yet you remained calm. “I have come to make a bargain; a plea.”

That was when the puzzlement appeared on his face. “And what is that?”

“The man you will fight tomorrow, you must spare him.”

“Why should I?”

Your grief and despair had made itself known to everyone around you for the past few days; yet, in that cell, only with Hanno as your witness, did he see your rage.

“He is the one who saved my life when you meant to steal it!”

The only change you saw in him was his jaw clenching. Other than that, nothing. “The general?”

You only nodded.

He sighed, brushing past you and shaking the door. “Macrinus!”

“What are you doing?” You hissed.

“I will not have you waste your breath on that man.”

“I will give you anything you desire.”

Hanno faced you. “Then you can deliver his head on a platter for me.”

You gawked as he walked away.  “What have I ever done to you?”

“What?”

“Do you truly hate me that much?!” You turned back to him, getting closer. “Kill the man that is the reason I am still here?”

The last thing you thought you would hear left his lips: A laugh. No, not a genuine one. One that you yourself have released on multiple occasions when you have been in disbelief.

“You truly believe everything that happens is because of you?” He taunted. “Has the emperor been filling your mind with so many delusions of grandeur, you can no longer conceive a world where you are not the center of it?”

“Is it so difficult for you to answer my question because you are a fool, or because you wish to not admit it?” You hardened your tone.

“What is your question, my empress?”

“Why did you shoot me?!”

“The arrow was not meant for you!”

You felt your shoulders drop upon the confession. Your aggression ceased only because of your bewilderment.

“Then who?” You asked.

He backed away. “The general you so wish to defend.”

“Whatever it is that he has done, it can be solved with-.”

“-He murdered my wife.”

Hanno said it so easily. No pain, no rage, nothing. It was a fact, and that was what he wanted you to know.

And how stupid you had been. No one in all of Rome was pure of heart; including Marcus. He was a war general; how could you think he wouldn’t have committed sins against the innocent?

“Why so silent, my lady?” He asked. “Are you in disbelief that he has enemies?”

“I didn’t know that.” You admitted.

“That the general is too a monster, or that he killed the only thing in my life worth living for?”

“And that is your desire?” You prodded. “Take his life so that he may die knowing his wife will be ravaged by wolves?”

When he charged at you, you barely had enough time to reach in your dress and unsheathe your knife. Hanno stopped himself just in time for the tip to kiss his chest. Nothing to cause any more harm than a scratch.

Even though you were not the one hurt, you breathed as if you were. He stared down at you as you shrunk under his gaze, and the two of you remained frozen. That is, until he grabbed both your wrists, and rose them above your head.

“I am only merciful because the general still breathes.” He spoke so only you could hear. “If your bastard of a lover had put him to the sword this night you chose to visit me, you would be dead before you could scream.”

Your nose was an inch from his, that was how close he stood to you. His breath caressed your skin, and you turned away in disgust. He let go of your empty wrist, yet still held the one with the dagger.

“Did you believe you could kill me tonight?” He asked, yet you said nothing. Hanno then brought the dagger to his breastbone, angling it upward. “Do not stab head on; stab up.”

Silence and an iron gaze was your reply.

He then hovered it to the pulse point of his neck. “If you want a quick death, right here; with a thinner blade, preferably.”

Then, he placed the tip just above his brow. “If you need information out of a rat, and you have the stomach to do so, drag it across. It will make the mightiest of men cry like a child in the night.”

“You are clever and a skilled warrior,” you finally said. “what is it you want me to tell you?”

“That you will leave it up to the gods and to me if your general lives or not.”

“But I cannot.” You dared to dig the blade just a little into his skin, and his breath hitched. “My desire for him to live is stronger than for you to die.”

Hanno finally let go of your wrist, and you immediately retracted the knife from his brow. “So do you wish to try again to kill me?”

“I wish for you to show mercy.”

“Mercy?” He questioned. “Mercy upon the man who pillaged my home and killed my wife? Mercy for the one who has made me a slave?”

“I too am a slave and-.”

“-And?!” He cried. “And there is nothing! You are draped in silks whilst I in chains and are bathed in clear waters while I in blood, yet you say we are the same?!”

You swallowed your anger, knowing it would bring you nowhere. “You entertain the horrid creatures of Rome; I am forced to pleasure the emperor. We perform differently, but we are still slaves.”

“You are with child.” He stated. “Will that child also be a slave though the emperor is quick to claim it is his heir?”

The crackling of the torches in the room only added to the fire th in your soul. If not contained correctly, you would surely burn and take him with you.

 “A child…yes.” You relaxed, folding your hands. “A child that I could command to be Geta’s. Perhaps, if I wanted to have the brothers slaughter one another, I could say it belongs to Caracalla. Or, if I despised you anymore than I do at this moment…I could say that it is yours.”

Hanno’s eyes dropped in recognition, saying softly. “You carry an empty womb.”

You nodded. “It is the same as your honor.”

Moments later, the door behind you rattled, and Macrinus spoke even when you didn’t. “The time is up, my little empress.”

You bowed your head to Hanno, curtsying. “Sleep well.”

He said nothing in reply, and you turned on our heel, leaving the cell. You pulled your hood back over your head as Macrinus led you through the darkened streets of the city.

“Did you get what you came for?” He asked.

“No.” Was your immediate reply. “And I do not know truly what I wanted.”

The day was as blistering hot as the others, yet the stare Lucilla gave you as she was being led into the emperor’s viewing box made your blood turn to ice. There was not a hint of wrath upon her face; there was nothing at all.

She already looked as if her soul had been stolen.

“How does your shoulder fair, dear sister?” Caracalla brushed his fingers over your arm.

A watery smile was upon your lips like second nature. “It still aches, but it heals, thank the gods. And your overall health?”

He sighed. “I do not know how much longer I have upon this earth.”

“Do not say such things.” You squeeze his hands. “If the gods will it, you shall live for another hundred years.”

He kissed your hands that held his. “I hope so, my love.”

Your grin fell upon the title, and Geta immediately sat you down on the chair behind him that was beside Lucilla’s. He gave an apologetic look.

“He only grows more confused by the day.” He caressed your cheek. “You are well?”

You were far from it, but you could not say that. “Your son feels better now.”

Geta smiled, lowering his head down to kiss your womb. “He will need all his strength.”

The announcer on the other side of the arena yelled to gain everyone’s attention. “From the vanquished city of Numidia, the victor of three contests in the Colosseum, the barbarian Hanno!”

You watched as he ran up from the pit, sword in hand. On the other side, you watched at they brought in Marcus. You could barely look at his already beaten figure. The announcer continued. “Will challenge General Marcus Acacius for his treason against the lives of the Emperors and the enemy of the State!”

The two approached one another on the sandy field. Even from where you sat, so close to them, you could barely make out the look in their eyes. You assumed their was hatred, but your own eyes must have deceived you, because you swore you saw a hint of regret within Marcus’ own gaze.

You blinked and the battle between the two had begun. It was a different level of insanity at how they fought. Marcus was decades older than Hanno, and yet, there were moments where the Numidian had to keep up with him.

Than, the roles would be reversed.

Blood stained the floor of the Colosseum as they fought. Then, when all feel silent between them, and Marcus could barely stand, his lips moved as he spoke to Hanno, then raised his hand.

He yielded.

The patrons of the arena began to mumble amongst themselves, growing louder and louder. Geta rose to his feet. “Romans! What say you?”

In an instant, choruses begging him to be spared overpowered the few that wanted him to be killed. Geta shut his eyes, raising his hand, and they were silenced.

“The gods have rendered their judgement.”

His thumb pointed downward, and the crowd erupted in dissent. Your heart was forcing itself to beat out of your chest as you could only stare at the sight of Hanno glaring down at the general before him.

He tossed his sword to the side.

You hadn’t even noticed Caracalla stood until you heard him yell. “Kill him, kill him!” Like an angered child.

“Is this how Rome treats its heroes?!” Hanno shouted, staring at the audience all around him and pointing his sword. “If his life has no value, what are yours worth?”

Geta stepped up onto the barrier, balancing between the viewing box and a fifteen-foot drop into the arena. He held his arms out to his side, his sleeves dropping to the ground, and his pale face was red. “The gods have spoken! Kill him!”

From all sides of the stadium, hundreds of archers aimed their bows at the center of the battleground. Yet, none fired. Caracalla jeered.

“In the name of Jupiter, kill him!”

The arrows were released, and they screamed like none other as they fired into the center. As they pierced Marcus’ body, you did not know you had been wailing in fright until Geta had slapped you.

“You mewling cunt!” He cursed. “You wish to weep over the man who nearly had you killed?”

Blood fell upon your tongue from your bruised lip, and you did not dare to look at him nor Lucilla.

“Death will be too good for you!” She cried with all of her heart.

The noise from the crowd died as if the people themselves had done so. Then, just like the confused murmurs when Marcus yielded, the same began to grow and grow into a call of rebellion.

It was all in your ears. Lucilla’s weeping, the curses from the crowd, the panic of the emperors…but you stood absolutely still.

With hooded eyes, they drifted up to see that Geta stood just on the edge of the barrier, his back turned to you. Your gaze fell to the ground below you, and it was only then you realized how high up you truly were.

You do not know who or what willed you to, but you then looked at Hanno still the center, covered in blood. As if he knew what you would do, he shook his head.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Macrinus grabbed your arm roughly when you took one step towards Geta.

The emperors turned to him upon his appearance, and Macrinus loosened his grip on you before saying. “For our safety’s sake, we should leave.”

“Yes.” Geta stepped down, wrapping his arms around you. “We should.”

You never knew there was a safe house in Rome until you were forced into it. Perhaps that was the reason for it being a safe house, so that no one knew of it. Yet, apparently, almost all of the roman citizens found it that night. Or, they were simply rioting wherever a free patch of land was.

The cries played in your ears despite them being behind heavy walls of the safe house, and you dared not to peek out the windows as the several fires would temporarily blind you. In the house was you, Macrinus, Dondus (Caracalla’s pet monkey, although he’d call him his other half), and the twin emperors.

“How is the babe?” Geta asked as you sat with your head hanging low.

Of course he would ask that. You didn’t look at him. “He is in fear for his life.”

“I understand,” he sighed. “but there-.”

“-But what?” You finally looked at him, hissing. “Chaos has fallen upon the city because of your actions.”

“There was nothing else to do.” Geta glared at you. “He and his bitch were plotting to kill us! If I’d let him live-.”

“-Don’t you hear them?” Caracalla cried out from his seat, holding Dondus. “They’re calling for our heads! She is right, you brought this upon us!”

Geta placed his hands on him. “Calm yourself, brother. The Praetorians will put down this crowd like they have others-.” The money upon Caracalla’s shoulder chirped out in anxiousness from the people outside. “Keep the ape still!”

“Beware of how you speak to Dondus!” His brother berated.

“Perhaps,” Macrinus finally intervened. “you should take Dondus and Julia elsewhere. The noise outside is too much for them; you should comfort one another someplace quieter.”

Caracalla nodded, gathering up Dondus and moving to help you stand, but Macrinus reached his hand out first. You took it, and as you stood, he said into your ear.

“I will find you on the right side of the hall.”

This was not the time nor place for riddles, but you could not react in any sort of way. You looped our arm through Caracalla’s and walked out of the room, hoping to find somewhere quieter.

“I’m afraid,” you confided in him, truthfully.

“I am as well.” Was all he could say.

You stopped in the middle of the hall once he found an open door. “I…I need time with my own thoughts. Please.”

He nodded, cradling Dondus closer to his chest before entering the room, shutting the door tightly. Within the minute, you watched as Macrinus approached you from the other side of the hall.

You spat. “What do you want?”

“I know I stole your moment of vengeance, and for that, I apologize.” He stood before you. “But let me make it up to you.”

“How could you possibly?”

From his cloak, he brandished a knife, holding the handle out to you. You took it without hesitation, yet question was still upon your face. “I do it myself?”

“You could,” he shrugged. “or, you could have his own brother do so.”

“Caracalla? He is senile.”

“Then I have a proposition for you.” Macrinus pointed to the door Caracalla was behind. “Convince him that Geta will destroy all of you if he is not disposed of. Convince him that, as the new emperor of Rome, he will need more trusting subjects. I shall be his second in command, and you shall be free.”

You furrowed your brow. “Who shall be first?”

“The monkey.” He smirked. “Do you believe he would put me above him?”

It sounded so simple; too simple. Yet, as the crowd began to die down, and you could no longer hear their protests from outside, the quietness brought to you what you had always known: You would never be your own person again so long as Geta breathed.

You held the dagger to your heart, saluting him. “I shall do my duty.”

He nodded. “May the gods be with you when you do, Brutus.”

An insult to most, and while it shocked you, you took it in stride as you stood outside the door. You made yourself look smaller, more afraid, and hid the dagger within your cloak as you entered the room.

There, sitting upon the floor, was Caracalla and Dondus. Like a scared child, he held the monkey close to him, grooming one another as if it was the only thing to bring comfort.

“Caracalla?” You whispered.

He stared up at you, and you noticed he had been crying. Immediately, you sat before him, bringing him into your arms.

“Nothing was ever mine.” He cried, embracing you. “Everything was ‘ours’, always. Even in the womb, he gripped the umbilicus in his tiny fist to deprive me of air.”

“He did?”

“Certainly, one cannot forget.”

You pulled away only to hold his face tenderly in your hands. “You must listen to me, for what I tell you is dire. Your brother wishes to blame you before the Senate; for what happened, for the chaos in the streets-.”

“-That is a lie!” He tore himself from you. “I didn’t do it!”

“I know that, but they don’t. No testimony is more damning than that of a brother against another.”

“He lies! He always lies!” He sobbed.

“He’s very persuasive.”

“What will they do to me?”

“I don’t dare imagine, but…gods above, I don’t wish to know what they will do to Dondus.”

His jaw quivered with the rest of his body. “What-what shall we do?"

You sighed. “I…I have a proposition, but it is most outrageous and-.”

“-Julia,” he begged, grabbing your hands. “dear, sweet sister, please tell me.”

Breath shuttering, you reached into your cloak and held the blade out to him. “Slay your brother tonight. You shall be crowned the sole emperor of Rome when morning comes, and Dondus, the child I carry, and I will be safe.'

He took it, yet still had that look of terror. “This…It has always been he who led everything. I do not know who to trust or-or who to command.”

“Then let me-.” You stopped yourself, eyeing the monkey that lay at his legs. You held your hand out to him, and Dondus climbed into your arms. “Let us help you. Claim Dondus as your first in command, and I your second.”

You wished the same as Lucilla and Marcus; to have Rome be a free empire. Yet, you would have to free Lucilla yourself before that happened.

Caracalla nodded yet said. “You-you are with child. You will become delirious as time progresses.”

And he was the epitome of having a clear mind.

“I will need a third.” He settled.

You shook your head. “That has never been done before-.”

“-I will be emperor!” He screamed. “If it is to be done, it shall be done!”

Raising your hands in surrender, you pleaded. “It shall, it shall! For a third…Macrinus. He has been loyal and informed us of the general’s betrayal.”

“Yes, yes Macrinus will do.” He grabbed your face and pressed his lips against yours. It didn’t even truly feel like a kiss, yet it shocked you nonetheless. “You are the wisest woman I have ever met, dear sister.”

You nodded, forcing a smile. With that, he stood on his feet and left the room. IT would have been easy to stay in there and wait for his return…

Yet, you wanted to be the last thing Emperor Geta saw.

No fear toiled within your body as you approached the throne room, not even when you hear the cries that you knew belonged to Geta. You walked through the doors, watching as Geta held his hands up in fear, begging his brother to spare his life as he was forced onto his knees, trying to stop the knife in Caracalla’s hand.

“I love you!” Geta squealed, staring up at him through tears “You are my brother, I love you!”

You moved to stand behind the younger twin, glaring at the man before you. Geta’s eyes dropped in relief.

“My love, my love, please help me!”

There was nothing uncertain about how you grabbed Caracalla’s hand that held the dagger. With eyes unblinking, you guided the blade into Geta’s throat, pushing it further and further as blood drained from his mouth.

The emperor was dead, and you would sleep like a child once more that night.

There was something inside of you when you awoke that morning. Not the child you had lied to all of Rome about; it felt like a parasite. You threw up an hour after you woke up, but when you checked with the healers, they said that there was nothing ailing you.

Was it…guilt? No, no it could not be.

Was it possible to feel guilt for the act of killing someone, but not feeling it for who was killed?

You had no time to debate these issues as if you were a philosopher.

Dressed in your finest silks, you made way into the room where the hundreds of senators met, carrying a hefty sack beside you. You sat in a chair next to Macrinus.

“You have done well.” He said softly.

You smiled. “Only because of you.”

Your gaze turned to Caracalla, who sat in one of the two thrones that were there for him and Geta. He looked like the worst you had ever seen him be. A blood rag had been placed at his feet.

“Now I am the only one.” He began, voice low. “I was the true us, and he was the false me. We were always ‘we,’ all our lives, but now I am only I, me, alone.”

The senators look at one another in silent terror. The only ones to not feel fear were you and Macrinus.

Caracalla continued. “My hand held the blade, but my father’s hand guided mine. I was the puppet, dancing on his string. As Emperor, I have convened the Senate to appoint my First Consul and bestow upon him the power to administer the military and civic functions of the Empire.”

He tossed his hand to the second thrown, revealing his fury companion. “I name Citizen Dondus!”

Where the senators were beyond terrified, they were now confused. Macrinus was the first to rise, applauding. “Hail Dondus!”

You repeated his sentiment, clapping with vigor. Caracalla and the rest of the mortified senators applauded all repeating ‘Hail Dondus!’.

Once the excitement died down, Caracalla resumed. “As is custom, I am naming a Second Consul to advise the First and to assure his integrity. Though you will find that Dondus is incorruptible! As Second Consul, I name…”

Macrinus took one step forward.

“The mother of the future heir to the throne, Julia!”

All eyes fell upon you, standing taller than you ever had done in your life. How strange it was though, that the same reaction to a monkey being assigned first in command, was to you, a woman.

Utter silence, until Caracalla applauded enthusiastically. Like sheep, the senators followed; all but Macrinus.

“Yet, as mother to the heir,” the emperor said after finishing. “it is apparent she shall be incompetent for majority of her advising. So, for the first time in the history of Rome, I name Citizen Macrinus as my third!”

Even with this third twist in a counsel, the senators seemed more so relieved at the decision. Macrinus did not smile or even acknowledge the honor, simply stared ahead. Caracalla gathered Dondus in his arms.

“There will be a triumphal parade to celebrate. There will be games and mass executions! Long live the Empire!”

“Long live the Emperor!” You and the senators all yelled.

The Emperor Caracalla carried the First Consul Dondus sweepingly out of the hall, to the Senate’s terrified silence. You picked up the sack that had been beside you this whole time, then making your way to the center of the room.

You opened the sack, and out fell Geta’s decapitated head. The Senate gasped and gagged at the sight of the former emperor’s head. You almost felt sorry for the horror they felt that whole time. Yet, there horror is what would bring you fortune.

“This is what befell your emperor.” You pointed to the head at your feet. “He was slaughtered by the one who shared a womb with him. Tell me, senators, is this who we must trust to maintain the greatness of the Roman Empire?”

They did not glance at one another in uncertainty; no, no they were listening to you.

You continued, your heart stammering. “I am not the one who will stand with you for the rest of my days, it is the son I carry within me. And if it is my son who will become emperor, then there must still be an empire for him once he is born. Hysteria has poisoned the streets for decades now, it is time to put an end to it!”

Murmurs and nods of approval began to echo amongst the counsel.

“Every single one of Rome’s children matters; from the beggars to the emperor himself. If one falls, so shall the rest of the Empire. I have walked beside the lay people of the city, and they feel betrayed by the former emperor for the murder of their beloved general. To right this wrong, I call for the release of Lucilla, daughter of Marcus Aurelias.”

Not one of the hundreds of senators made a sound. Deep within you, you knew that there wouldn’t be much rejoicing over Lucilla’s freedom, but you still had to try.

“The people adored her for far longer than they adored the general!” You pleaded. “If we kill her only for the amusement of the elites, then the children of Rome-!”

 “-Shall live.”

You turned to Macrinus, who finally stepped all the way forward.

“Forgive me,” He bowed mockingly. “my lady, but for a woman complimented to have a golden mouth, you have no idea what you are saying.”

A few of the senators chuckled.

“You wish to free the woman who mean to have you, and the emperors killed?” He questioned.

You refuted. “I wish to show the world that Rome is capable of forgiveness.”

“A desire so foolish, only the emperor’s favorite whore could have it.”

“Another word of slander out of your mouth, and I will have your tongue removed!” You stood toe-to-toe with him.

He grinned like the devil, and just from your outburst alone, no matter how warranted it had been, he had you. Macrinus stepped away, looking around at the senators.

“Me thinks the little girl believes she is Marcus Aurelius himself born again.” He straightened his tone. “What say you, senators? All in favor of releasing a traitor to the Empire, speak.”

Not one of them said ‘aye’. If you weren’t under a sheer amount of duress, you would’ve seen perhaps a few faces of inner turmoil, debating on calling for Lucilla’s release.

Yet, no one said a word because they shared the one thing that will contribute to the death of humanity: Cowardice.

Macrinus tutted. “Now, dear Julia and I happen to have, through good fortune and not a little skill, the remaining emperor’s ear. We can speak reason in it and tame the madness in the street. Yet, I will leave the domestic work of calming the emperor to his second in command. As for myself, to restore order to Rome, I will need power over the affairs of the state. Including command of the Praetorian Guard. The decision is in your hands. Ballot or hand?”

One hand rose immediately. Another followed, then ten, then thirty, and then, all of them. He provided no evidence for his cause…yet there was a unanimous decision.

Macrinus held his hand out to you, and you could only stare up at him in question.

“I believe we shall take the seats that are rightfully ours.” He said lowly.

Carefully, you slipped your hand into his, and he led you up the stairs to sit upon the chair that belonged to Geta, while he took Caracalla’s.

This would be the first and the last time a woman ever sat upon the emperor’s throne.

After being embarrassed that morning, you paced around your chambers. Perhaps you could have found Caracalla and gave him the same reasonings the senate did not listen to. Perhaps he could somehow see to the logic that would be in setting Lucilla free.

No, of course he wouldn’t. Even if his mind was sound, he still knew she was apart of the coup to try and have him dethroned; killed in his mind’s eye.

As your mind grew heavy with existential possibilities towards the future, the door to your chambers opened. Stopping where you stood, you watched as Macrinus entered.

“Now, try to make me understand this," he shook his head. "I let you have your vengeance on the man who used you as a slave, I promised you freedom, and yet you wasted it.”

You clenched your jaw. "How dare you-."

“-How dare I?” He tensed his voice. “How dare I keep silent about your lie? How dare I give you the privilege to take your revenge? I have saved you more than you believe I have harmed you, lady Julia."

The name had always bothered you, but with one emperor dead and the other incapacitated, you assumed it would stop.

Now, it only enraged you more; or perhaps that was just because it was Macrinus saying it.

You glared. “It was your own mistake to believe you were the only one who desired power.”

He took a deep breath, then moving to sit on your bed. “Sit beside me, Rome’s Delight; I have a story to tell you.”

“I am not a child, you may tell me in short.”

“You are not the only slave wishing to be free.” He pulled back the collar of his clothing, revealing a branded ‘M.A’ “You are lucky enough to not carry your master’s mark, but were a slave nonetheless. Marcus Aurelius spoke of peace while still using violence against those who served him.”

Swallowing your pride thickly, you said. “I’m sorry.”

“You have learned now, that is all that matters.”

“But Lucilla will still be dead.” You tried to keep your voice steady. “She wanted the emperors to be gone as much as you, but she will-."

“-Her father enslaved me.”

“Her father is dead; and if taking his empire wasn’t enough, than killing his last child will satisfy you?"

Macrinus clutched your arm, fingers tightening with every word. “I would be careful with how you speak to me. I wish to offer you one last ounce of kindness before I regret it. Now tell me, Brutus, will you accept me as Rome’s new emperor?”

You had all the right to say it was Caracalla, but you thought better of it. So, with the softening of your entire person, you nodded. “I accept you.”

He dropped your arm. “I’ll let you say goodbye this time.”

Macrinus led you down into the dungeons of the palace, and he was right; somehow it was more heavily guarded than the gladiator pit. Even when the worst of the worst prisoners sneered or jeered at you, your sorrow and anger could not stir your fear.

The door to one of the cells was open, and you ran in just as Lucilla turned to see you.

“Five minutes.” Was all Macrinus said before locking the door and leaving.

You embraced one another when he left. Neither of you said anything, just clung to each other as if the world itself would tear you apart.

“Forgive me, mother Lucilla.” You choked up.

Lucilla pulled away, taking your face into her hands. “Sweet child, there is nothing to forgive.”

“I failed you.” The tears finally came. “I was right there in the senate’s room, I-I told them the chaos that would befell Rome if-.”

“-You were in the senate’s room?” She sounded as if her breath had been stolen.

You nodded. “Yes, but they wouldn’t listen!”

“My dear girl,” she smiled. “if you were able to even get half a sentence in, than they listened! My father but sixteen years ago said that it was a shame I had been born a women, for I would have been a magnificent emperor. Yet, here you stand; you who had been once a slave, rose above into having a sear in the senate council.”

Still, no matter how much pride she held, your own shame outweighed it. “I still have failed you.”

“I have already accepted my fate.” She whispered. “I must take care of those who matter to me before I leave this earth.”

“Do not say such things!” You cried. “I’ll still find a way to save you.”

“Hanno is my son.”

You expected her to deny your attempts at rescuing her, you even expected her to coddle you, curse you…but this?

“What?” You uttered.

“He is Lucius Verus Aurulius,” she said gently. “second of his name, but the first son of Maximus Decimus Meridius.”

“The-the gladiator?” Was somehow the first question you asked.

“Yes.” She nodded. “Lucius didn’t run away, I sent him. With him as heir to the empire, I know many would not rest until he was dead. How was he to fight for a claim he knew nothing about? Now, he is here; and I am no longer frightened of dying.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to!”

She shushed you, combing her fingers through your hair. “I can speak to you until the earth is burnt by the sun of how I have made peace, but I know that will not work. So, I have two final requests for you.”

“Anything.”

Lucilla walked to the small desk she had in her cell, then picking up a scroll loosely wrapped in twine. She handed it to you. “My first is to give this to my son before tomorrow. It…explains a great deal of things I do not have the time to say to him.”

You took it, holding it to your heart. “And the second?”

She smiled, wrapping her arms around you and kissing the side of your head. “To take care of him as I intend him to take care of you.”

It was not the first time that day your eyes had grown. “He despises me.”

“If the gods are merciful, then I truly believe you will both come to see eye to eye as the only two who remain.”

“I nearly killed him.” You admitted. “The night before his duel with Acacius, I brought a knife with me and stabbed him; well…not enough to harm him.”

Lucilla shook her head, giggling. “He will need someone who disagrees with him.”

You found yourself laughing along with her, even through your sobs. She pulled away from you, wiping your tears. “He is a good man. He may deny it but believe me when I tell you.”

“I trust you.” You nodded.

She took a deep breath. “I will be with you, even when I’m gone.”

“I…I know.”

“Now go before I beg you to stay.”

You forced yourself away from her before you could change your mind. You could not even look at her as you left her cell and went up the hall. Just in time, you remembered to hide the scroll as Macrinus approached you.

“Leaving so soon?” He asked.

Sighing, you said. “She’s…inconsolable. I couldn’t bear another moment with her.”

Macrinus nodded. “You should rest for the remainder of the day. It has been quite exhausting.”

“Yes,” you agreed. “it certainly has.”

It was the first time that night you were forced to sneak out of the palace on your own. Fortunately, you remembered the route you took to the Gladiator pit and managed to dodge any of the guards on patrol that night.

The pit proved to be more difficult as the overseers of it had less space to watch over, yet you still somehow managed to maneuver them.

Perhaps the gods were on your side.

“Hanno.” You whispered once you found his cell.

The man turned over his shoulder once he heard your voice and approached with a scowl. “What are you doing here?”

You wasted no time, holding out the scroll. “Your mother told me to give you this.”

He paused for only half a beat. “My mother died when-.”

“-Your mother is Lucilla, daughter of Marcus Aurelias.” You whispered fiercely. “And you are Lucius, the lost son.”

His eyes didn’t leave yours as he reached down to the latch of the door, and cracked it opened. “Get inside.”

Though you wished to, you didn’t question how he had unlocked it and only walked in. He shut the door tightly, then took the scroll from you. You stood there as he unraveled it to read. His face changed every few seconds, ranging from distress to downright confusion. When he was finished, he looked at you.

“She gave this to you?” You nodded. “Why?”

“I was allowed to say goodbye to her.”

“From Macrinus?” He tested. “Was this before or after you attempted to steal his power?”

“I was cruel to you.” You admitted. “Even after discovering Acacius had pillaged your home and murdered your wife, I expected you to show mercy. I am astounded you did, but as I look back, I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t. My desire for the general to live extends to your mother; if not more. She did not give up my name at any moment despite the fact I too was apart of the coup to try and overthrow the emperors. I cannot simply let her die.”

Lucius stared at you, his gaze intimidating yet at ease. He approached you. “You wish to save her life?”

“More than anything.”

“It is a rumor that Macrinus was the one to puppeteer Caracalla in slaying his brother. But…it wasn’t him, was it?”

Breathing deeply, you looked at the floor. “It was I.”

“Look at me.” He commanded softly, and you did. “Would you kill again if it meant protecting her?”

Your mind said ‘yes’ without a moment’s hesitation, but your heart only sunk into your stomach at the thought. It must have been apparent on your face, for he said.

“There is no shame if you are unable to.”

“I will be with him in the emperor’s box.” You said, determination in your eyes. “I will simply need you to buy me time in the arena. It shall be done.”

Lucius nodded, and released along breath before saying. "I treated you harshly. I...I don't believe I would have survived what you have been put through."

You picked at your fingers. "I think you would have."

"No." He solidified. "I wouldn't."

A silence fell between the two of you. There wasn't a hint of discomfort; as if, for the first time, you felt seen.

“You never told me your name.” Lucius uttered.

You pressed your lips together, shrugging. “It was never important.”

“It has been,” he said. “and it is now. You know my true name, if I am to understand you as how my mother wishes I do, then I must know yours.”

Your mouth parted to speak the first syllable, but even that had felt foreign. You instead lied. “I do not remember it.”

As he looked at you, the steely gaze you always knew began to disappear. “You must remember how it sounded from your mother’s mouth.”

“She died before she could hold me.”

“Then your father.” He walked closer to you, yet you felt no fear. “It does not matter if he was wretched or kind, he spoke your name and your name alone. What did it sound like?”

Like he loved you. Even when he was cross, he never raised his voice. You hated more than ever how tears started to build within your eyes.

“Geta had beaten me until I could no longer use it.” you confessed. “It will feel like poison upon my lips.”

“Then whisper it to me so you will scarcely have to move them.”

You had been lain down on a bed and had every bit of a man touch and invade your body. Even before the emperor, you had lain with people in the past of your choosing…

But none of that amounted to the intimacy you felt in that cell as Lucius stood nearly chest-to-chest with you, hovering his ear over your mouth as you finally (finally) spoke your name aloud.

If the heat of his body lingering over yours did not set your entire being aflame, it was the breath he released once he said.

“It’s a kind name.”

It was all too much for you, so you pulled away from him, drying your eyes. “I…I will pray for your safety.”

He outheld his hand to you. “Strength and honor.”

A saying you had overheard people use as they entered the stadium. You shook his hand. “Strength and honor.”

You didn’t expect to be in the parade Caracalla raved about the day prior. Yet, there you were, draped in the finest and most colorful silks with jewelry in your hair. Inside your sleeve, you’d hidden the same kitchen knife you attempted to stab Lucius with.

You were sat beside Caracalla, who had Dundus upon his shoulder, and who had only grown more delusional since the day prior.

“Where is my brother?” He pulled on your sleeve like a child as you were escorted from the float and into the Colosseum.

A watery smiled pulled upon your lips, and you soothed him. “He feels most unwell today.”

“He should be here.” He sulked as you walked. “He would be happy for me.”

“And he is.” You lied. “You will see him again shortly.”

That managed to ease him, and you both were seated in the emperor’s box with Macrinus. It didn’t escape your vision how hundreds of Praetorians also circled the entire arena. As the time to the match grew closer, you did your best to calm your own nerves. This would be for the good of Rome. Once it was done, you would be able to rest easily again.

It was then you watched as, on one side of the Colosseum, a wagon was rolled out into the center of it. Tied to a pole, dressed up as if she were Venus herself, was Lucilla. All that attempt at soothing yourself was gone once you saw her eyes.

“Must we kill Lucilla?” Caracalla questioned.

You couldn’t even snidely repeat his question to Macrinus you were in such a state of anxiety. Macrinus responded.

“Until she is dead, you will never know peace.”

Thus, the event commenced. The announcer himself even sounded guilt-ridden as he spoke of the crimes Lucilla was being charged with. Treason, betrayal, all of it only anguished the spectators even more to see her being prepared for execution.

“Let it not be said that the Emperor is not merciful!” He yelled. “The queen will be granted a champion to defend her!”

Out from the other side of the arena came Lucius. Half of the Praetorians held their weapons to the man, while the other half faced the civilians as if expecting them to riot. Once again, at the sight of the scene before them, it would not surprise you.

You had been taught one a many myths by your father, mainly belonging to the Greeks. You were Cassandra; blessed by Apollo to speak of prophecies but cursed to not be believed.

When it seemed that hope was gone…Lucius rose his sword, and hundreds of gladiators sprinted from all sides.

The crowd and Caracalla were in an uproar at the excitement. Pandemonium ensued as the gladiators began to climb the barriers and civilians were attempting to enter the arena. The sound of arrows screaming entered your ears; so much so you could not hear what Macrinus was saying to another man, and why Caracalla was screaming.

You simply blinked, and once your eyes were open, you watched as Macrinus dove a needle into the side of Caracalla’s neck, killing him.

Only a gasp tore through your throat, having no ability to scream. Your body soon found reason to move, and you rose to your feet, remembering your duty. Macrinus had acquired a crossbow, aiming it towards Lucilla and Lucius now at the center of the arena.

You rose the knife from your sleeve, charging towards the man. The arrow was fired, and you leapt upon his shoulders.

He moved wildly, trying to force you off of him. You made attempt to slash his throat, but it made contact with his eye instead.

Still…he overpowered you. Flipping you over him, you dropped down into the arena, your head colliding with the ground.

The sky was orange above you when you opened your eyes. Your head had never felt so awful before, and you were surprised you could even sit up. All around you, bodies littered the Colosseum floor. If there was not blood laid before you, there were swords and shields.

Your eyes drifted to the center, and now sunken to the floor, was Lucilla on her wagon. You forced yourself to stand and walk towards her.

When you could see the arrow sticking in her chest, you began to run.

Climbing atop the wagon, you untied the ropes around her hurriedly.

“Mother,” you begged. “mother, can you hear me?”

“I am still here, sweet child.” She whispered weakly.

“Save your energy now.” You managed to free her, and then pulled her to your lap.

“I will be seeing my beloveds now.” She smiled.

“No,” you hissed. “you are going to live.”

She reassured. “It is alright. I have fulfilled everything that was asked of me, and what I wished for.”

“Mother-!”

“-You will look after him, won’t you?”

You wanted to cry; you wished that sadness was the first thing you felt. But no, it was anger. Still, you nodded. “I will, but you will be there to make sure he takes care of me too!”

“He shall.” Was all she said.

“You will live, just please stop talking.”

“I love you.”

“Lucilla…” Your voice broke.

“Tell Lucius I would do this all again for him.”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. Lucilla rose her hand to your cheek, brushing it tenderly one last time.

Her eyes were held open as she went limp in your arms. You closed her eyelids, knowing her gaze would haunt you.

You did not move for the first hour, nor did you cry out in despair. It was when the sun was completely gone, and you tore yourself away from her corpse did you collapse into a fit of sobs.

The ugliest sounds were released from your mouth as you could barely stand. You do not know how long you cried, but when you could finally move again, you crawled to the nearest sword, and trailed it behind you before climbing back up onto the wagon.

You tied the rope from her body around her legs, and brought her back into your lap, sword in hand.

There was no rest for you that night. You would nearly drift off into sleep, but you couldn’t bring yourself to give in until you could bury her properly. You also couldn’t bring yourself to bury her at the same time.

When you had lost time altogether, and the sky was purple as twilight broke, a gentle hand shook you.

Raising the sword in surprise, you felt your body relax once you saw Lucius. You should have asked how he survived, what happened to Macrinus, anything else…but all you said was.

“I wouldn’t let anyone touch her.”

He nodded, tears threatening to fall as he gazed upon his dead mother. He took a deep breath. “May I take her?”

You handed her to him, and he took her into his arms. You scooted off the wagon, your eyes reddened and exhausted.

“Where,” you cleared your throat. “Where should she be buried?”

“I…” He heaved. “I know where my father’s grave is.”

“Okay.” Was all you managed.

And you walked by his side, neither of you knowing what your fate would befall in Rome.

Yet…once both slaves, you were now free.

[kinichval]

loml: im going online, let's play together?

your phone rings up, the screen brightening the dimly lit room. a curse escapes your lips as you once again forgot to turn do-not-disturb mode on since you're down again in the rabbit hole of cramming your studies for tomorrow's examination. then again, a smile creeps up on those same lips when you read the contact name. it's kinich.

pursing your lips, you contemplate whether or not to take on his offer. 1) you love playing games with your dearest boyfriend; 2) your concentration was long broken by some sort of distraction in your head; and 3) you miss kinich. however, it's clear that your to-do list still has 3 empty boxes begging to be marked done.

you: studying for exams :( we can play tomorrow

a sigh leaves your lips, your shoulders dropping down as you push yourself back to reality. you have to study, you have to pass, and most certainly you have to make sure that you won't beat yourself up for not working harder just because there's the venomous 'you could've done better.'

loml: do you wanna watch me play?

again, your screen lights up and you quickly swipe it off the desk. a smile tugs the corner of your lips, heart fluttering.

kinich loves streaming his games exclusively for you. especially on days when you can not play for whatever reason, he'd ask to video call with you and he'd share his screen so you'd feel like you're with him.

so what if the gunshot noises aren't conventional for a locked in study session? kinich playing his games—fps, sandbox, or rpg—is a common background music of yours. the two of you doing your own thing in the company of the other despite only being in a call.

you love kinich, even if sometimes you linger a tad bit longer on his shared screen than you planned.

you: yes please baby :)

[suhkusa]

BLAH BLAH BLAH - A HAIKYUU SMAU

PAIRING. Rintaro Suna x f!Reader

CW. college au, same universe as a secret alliance, enemies to lovers, forced proximity trope, angst and fluff, they’re both stubborn assholes (romantic?), language, some written content, fighting and arguments, suggestive/mature humor, lowkey some sexual tension, most likely ooc

STATUS. COMPLETED!

SUMMARY. Rintaro finally decides to hops on the MysMatch* train. When he and his match finally meet up, it’s his luck when the person is none other than his sworn enemy— Y/N. You would think after that unlucky meeting you wouldn’t have to deal with him again, but it seems fate has other plans for you.

* MysMatch - an app where you can match anonymously with strangers online and chat

INTRO.

1. IN THE FLESH

2. OPPOSITION

3. BANNED FROM TINDER

4. LIE AND DECEIVE

5. MAN PUSSY

6. FUCK BIGDICKR

7. VENOMOUS MOTHS

8. WEIRD BY CONNECTION

9. SHIT DRINK

10. BOX BREATHING

11. PARTY POOPER

12. ON THE GROUND

13. YOU

14. MY DIGNITY

15. CALVIN KLEIN

16. PSYCHOANALYZING

17. GHOSTED

18. CAUGHT UP

19. ACTUALLY PSYCHOPATHIC

20. LIE ABOUT IT

21. NOTHING

22. I FUCKING HATE HIM

23. SUCK DICK ON ACCIDENT

END.

• taglist open

• updates daily

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[seungfl0wer]

I need some angst pleeez I love ur writing and would love to see more angst pleez break my heart

So I wanna request something like them calling you clingy or just bothersum? Take ur time tysvm <33

~Sunny ☀️

*Felix Calling You Clingy*

Hello there dear, so I started this and realized I’m probably just gonna have to make this into a small series. So you’ll be getting them all just spread out I hope that’s ok! Also thank you so much for the kind words i greatly appreciate it so much. I hope you like this. I started with Felix first for some reason his just kinda came out so here the first out of 8🩵

Includes: Texts messages, mentions of depression, arguing (of course has a happy ending they all may not though)

Small edit to put one of the messages is a small messed up I forgot to delete a line and I really don’t wanna go back through all of it and redo it😅 I’m sorry

Others here:

Bangchan , Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

-🩵

Lix seemed to be avoiding you lately. You knew he was always pretty busy due to him being an idol however even when he had time off he just never wanted to spend time anymore. It’s been a good 3 weeks with no seeing him. With how he’s been acting and how life’s just been in general it made you depressed. You just kinda felt like you were doing everything wrong and weren’t good enough for him anymore.

It was 4AM, You were tossing and turning just feeling all the weight of everything on you. Your mind was just thinking of everything and anything. You wanted so badly just to message Lix, you really needed him right now. You kept going back and forth on whether you should or not, not wanting to bother him so late with your cry babiness. Before you knew it though you were already typing to him. You knew he was awake by the little green mark that showed he was playing a game you both use to play together. So he was up and online.

You couldn’t respond anymore. Your heart was breaking, you started bawling. All you could do is reply with a “k” which he hated. Which you also hated and only used when you were upset. You grabbed your pillows and all the blankets you could find and made a nest on your bed. Curling up into a ball. The blankets soft against your skin as you buried your face into them. They were the only comfort you could feel right now. You eventually ended up crying yourself to sleep.

How could the man you love say such things to you? How could he just spit so much hateful venom at you. Why not just dump you, just get it over with if he was so unhappy.

The next morning you had woken up to more texts:

Your chest tightened you reread the messages about a million times. Your mind started to spiral a bit. You wanted to cry wanted to yell wanted to beg him but you didn’t. With all the emotions and all the stress lately you went almost numb. The next couple days went by and you started to try and do things to help yourself. You went out with some friends, kept yourself busy with you hobbies and even met some new people online to play games with. One of the best things you decided though was you erased all of Felix’s messages. You couldn’t sit and reread all the stuff that was said. You couldn’t keep making yourself feel the hurt.

You knew lix well, you guys have been dating for almost 2 years now. Did he go about everything in a horrible way? Of fucking course. Are you just gonna forgive him for what he said easily? No, fuck no. However, you knew lix well enough to know what he said is probably eating him alive. Because he does love you and you know that. But he’s a human and sometimes we are just prone to being really fucking stupid sometimes.

After about a week and a half of radio silence on both ends. He messaged you.

After that you two texted a little here and there. He even FaceTimed you a few times just to show you the scenery. When he eventually came home you two sat down at your house to talk.

Felix kept apologizing, both of you were crying by the end of the conversation. Felix told you it wasn’t about you being “clingy” per-say he said he loved being around you but he wanted to make a day when he was off to just do something by himself. Even if it was just a few hours. He said how he felt like he just never gets alone time. How it’s either go go go with schedule, doing stuff with the members, coming to your place. He feels so stretched thin and that’s why he blew up.

He know he did wrong by doing so but you get it. Man could be taking a shit and someone would be trying to talk to him about his job and something. He doesn’t ever get time for himself. You both agreed that you’ll give him space. And the days he’s doing his own thing you won’t text him until he texts you.

He also wanted to assure you he doesn’t think you’re clingy, he loves how you are and wouldn’t change you for anything. He said what he said out of sleepless rage. But he knows he fucked up.

You both needed that night in a pillow fort he built for you, eating snacks, talking about other things and just cuddled up together. You missed him. You missed him so fucking much. Missed the sweet smell of his cologne, his beautiful bright smile decorated with little Hershey kiss freckles, and the most warm comforting laugh in the world. You laid in his arms through the night, it filled with such deep conversations, crying, laughing and more crying but out of happiness this time. You thought to yourself “we are gonna be ok, everyone has arguments but our bond is strong.”

💙 if you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[angel-of-the-moons]

Chocolates vs Aliens Pt. 2

Symbrock x Pregnant!Reader

TW/CW: NSFW, SMUT, PiV sex, unprotected sex, fluff, pregnancy, childbirth, anxiety, mentioned somnophilia (consented), lactation kink(?), oral sex (f! receiving)

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

Taglist: @yoink-a-doink @jayfall93 @being-worthy @theflamingraven

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Every day passed meant it was another day your baby girl grew, another kick, another day closer to being able to hold her in your arms and see her tiny face.

Of course, Eddie and Venom were excited, too. You guys moved fast, but everything came in stride, as if you were together for years. Despite the strange circumstances surrounding the three of you, you were content. Eddie and Venom treated the baby as if they fathered it, and you couldn't be happier. Even if you and Venom were in a constant battle for dominance when it came to chocolate. (Spoiler: you almost always won.)

You especially loved it when Venom cradled your belly. He did it at every available opportunity he could snag. Eddie meanwhile took care of a few more mundane things, splitting with Venom the duties of helping your changing body as your due date closed in on you.

Eddie would massage your feet and swollen ankles, while Venom's inky body would surround your midsection, taking the weight of the baby up off your hips, easing the strain on your back...

But your favorite day so far has to be today.

Because right now, you were currently watching Eddie and Venom snap at each other as they struggled to assemble the crib you ordered online.

No written directions were included, merely pictures of most of the crib already assembled; and the two already had to take it apart three times to start over.

"No, that part goes to that part and that one goes there!" Eddie snapped as the symbiote held a screwdriver and a piece of the railing in a long inky tendril.

Venom growled deeply, "WE ARE NEVER BUYING ANYTHING FROM IKEA EVER AGAIN!"

"No the fuck we are not." Eddie huffed. "We're better off buying furniture at a goddamn yard sale!"

You giggled from where you rocked on your reclining chair, your belly heavy and rounded out; effectively making you look like you swallowed a melon whole.

Eddie and Venom snap their heads to pout at you.

"What're you laughing at?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, we'd like to see you try to put something like this together!" Venom snorted.

"Nah, I already have my hands full putting together something waaaay more intricate." You snort back, looking through the cozy baby clothes you'd bought yesterday.

New Years was approaching, and you knew full well you would be due around then, and your poor tiny baby would be absolutely freezing! So you took the preemptive and bought little newborn winter clothes for your girl, including a cute little fluffy teddy onesie with a hood that had cute little ears on it.

"Oh, yeah?" Venom asked, narrowing his eyes skeptically.

"Yep." You pat your tummy, and the skin shifts as a tiny foot kicks from within.

"...Okay yeah fair point." Eddie chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yeahhh, mommy wins again!" You grin, patting your belly once more, earning yet another eager kick as you imagine it to be a high-five.

"What, are you keeping score now?" Eddie sighs, pointing the screwdriver at you.

"Damn right I am." You grin. "Mommy points for the win!"

"And how many points do we have?" Venom inquired, tilting his head.

"Not enough to beat meeeee~"

Both of them snorted and shook their heads, before turning back to the task of assembling the frustrating crib that would soon, very soon, cradle your newborn daughter.

If Eddie or Venom ever put her down, that is.

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Christmas came and went in what felt like the blink of an eye. Your little celebration was small, and you even invited Mrs Chen over to join in on your festivities.

Which mostly consisted of pizza, a sandwich board, and chicken wings, plus a few homemade goodies that Ms Chen brought with her. Not the best meal idea, but it was a party, and damn those wings were good.

You and Venom even gifted Sonny and Cher a nice little seed treat you baked for them as a Christmas present for being "such good birdies".

Baking for chickens, now that was a first. But hearing their happy little clucks as Venom petted them and talked baby to them was absolutely adorable and worth the trouble. As were the large eggs afterwards!

Your mood swings had petered out about two or three months ago (you weren't sure, but Eddie insisted when you didn't break into tears watching a documentary about penguins) and unfortunately, well...

There are other symptoms of a pregnancy that you really thought you could stave off. You tried, you really did, but Venom having such heightened senses and being able to pick up on your scent and hormones? Oh, yeah. You were screwed.

Literally. In several different ways. You'd only had sex once or twice in a previous relationship, and with how disappointing that was, you definitely preferred to handle your urges yourself.

Where your ex-partner previously failed, Venom and Eddie were overachievers.

Taking great care with your belly and baby, they did whatever they could to ensure you were comfortable before making you so strung out your brain could barely form a coherent thought. Between Venom's tongue and Eddie's hands, you were a whimpering, trembling mess when the two would take you to bed.

Venom was especially ravenous in his sexual appetite. After learning more about sex and the pleasure it brought since bonding with Eddie... Where his host was a meal, you were a full-course desert that he would lose himself in.

Some nights, when he would climb through your window, he would immediately seek you out, drawn in by the lingering adrenaline from the hunt and the smell of you.

When you weren't moving about your apartment, Venom could find you in bed, sleeping fitfully. That was when he would crawl up under the blankets and find his way between your legs, not letting up until you woke up a panting mess.

Yeah, definitely the best way to be woken up, in your opinion. There were worse ways. Waaaay worse. Especially because your pregnancy-libido certainly wasn't complaining, the rush of endorphins afterwards would help outweigh the growing anxiety as the days passed.

Every day meant you were closer to your due date. Every day meant you were closer to experiencing possibly the worst pain you will ever feel in your life.

And there was the chance something could go wrong, that your baby could get stuck, or the umbilical cord could wrap around her, or she could be in a breech position...

You feel Eddie's hands gently encircle you, lazily draped over your shoulders as you sat in the shower chair, the warm water pattering over you two. It was New Year's Eve, and you two decided a calm, relaxing shower was a nice way to unwind before you poked your head out of your window to watch the fireworks people would inevitably launch to usher in the new year.

"Hey, sweets." He said to you softly, his thumbs brushing your collarbone softly. "We can feel your pulse jumping like crazy. You okay?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I just..." You sigh.

"Liar." Eddie chuckled, bringing his large hands to your shoulders to press his thumbs into your weak spots, making you shiver and drag out a soft noise from you.

"C'mon." He urged gently as he massaged you, sending delightful shivers down your back and to your toes and all the way back up again.

"You can tell us, sweets. You thinking about the delivery again?"

You deflate a little, the bliss of his skilled hands drifting away from your grasp as the weight of your baby's birth came back to your mind.

"...Yeah. I'm just... I'm so, so worried, Eddie." You say, feeling your lip begin to wobble.

"I've read so many horrible things online of how it could go wrong, and..."

Venom's head suddenly slinks around you until his strange body is stretched so he could look you in the eyes.

"But there's also good things." He rumbled. "You might have a quick birth, not having to go through it for hours or even days..."

"And hey, you might even be one of those ladies who sneezes and pop! The baby's out!" Eddie added in, making Venom groan.

You can help but chuckle at how absurd it sounded, and you knew Venom was inwardly cringing at such a naive suggestion.

"I doubt I'll be that lucky." You sigh, a smile finally gracing your soft lips.

"Hey! You never know!"

"Idiot." Venom huffed.

"Shithead." Eddie smirked.

You feel your anxieties settle a bit, at least for now.

Your hands trail over your belly, over the thin purple lines crossing your skin, your fingers gently caressing the rising and falling bumps as your baby shifted and rolled around inside your womb.

"...Willow." Venom suddenly said.

You and Eddie blinked and stared at him, brows raised and eyes large, a long silence filling the shower as the water ran over you.

"What?" You ask him.

"For a name. You're gonna be due any day now." He purred, leaning his face closer to your belly.

"Still haven't settled on one."

"Where did you hear that name, Vee?" Eddie asked, shock evident in his tone.

"In some TV show I flicked through when you two were asleep. I like it." He replied simply, pressing his muzzle to your belly, feeling the tiny feet and hands thrash out from within.

"Okay, as far as names go that's... actually a good one." Eddie murmured.

"...Willow." You repeat softly.

It was a beautiful name. And honestly... You liked it. You had yet to pick a name for yourself, indecision being your worst enemy your entire life made the process that much harder.

Picking a name was one of your fears, too. You wanted your daughter to have a wonderful one; one she could carry with pride, and the pressure you placed on yourself to pick the perfect one was what screwed you up on that.

But this name, the one Venom suggested felt... right.

"Yeah." You smile once again. "Yeah. Her name can be Willow."

Venom grinned a shark-like grin and nuzzled his face into your belly like a happy affectionate cat, purring like one, too.

"Well, I'm glad that's a weight off of you." Eddie chuckled, resuming his earlier massage into your shoulders, earning another blissful sigh from you.

Yeah... Things will work out. After all, as long as you had these two with you, you felt like you could handle anything.

You relaxed and leaned into Eddie's touch, a little whimper escaping you as his thumbs knead into a knot in your shoulders.

Venom grinned up at you, and you knew fell the glint in his eyes meant you were in trouble.

And you knew that Eddie had the same smirk.

"No point in hiding it, sweet thing." Venom growled lowly, his tongue laving out to taste the skin on your hip, tracing the stretch marks etched into your skin.

"We know what gets you going." Eddie said quietly, leaning in to whisper in your ear.

You shivered when Venom's tongue slithered lower, past the swell of your midsection and down to your twitching clit.

"It's n-not my fault..." You whined, your voice cut off by a breathy moan as you felt Venom's tongue squirm past your entrance and into your tight, gummy walls.

"Of course not." Eddie hummed, massaging your shoulders as you arched your spine as little as you could; Venom's inky body slinked around you, enveloping you and keeping you from slipping off the shower chair in the process while he proceeded to eat you out with voracious hunger.

Eddie hissed suddenly, his fingers halting in their ministrations to squeeze you softly.

"Eddie, what--" You panted.

But that's when you felt it. The water was getting cold.

"Maybe we should move this to the bed, hm?" Venom cackled.

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"Eddie, fuck..." You whimpered fingers gripping tight into your bedsheets as Eddie rutted his nose against your clit, his lips and tongue dancing through your soaked folds as his hands pawed at your hips, bringing you down closer every time you squirmed away.

As Eddie devoured you, part of Venom's mass was completely surrounding his cock, sucking and stroking in time with his tongue as it pushed and pulled against your weeping cunt.

It was too much, and not enough at the same time. As much as you wanted more, you also wanted to push him away because the sensations were beginning to become too much for you to handle.

Your eyes were rolled back into your head as you felt that blissful feeling begin roll into a roaring crescendo, threatening to overtake you and make your heart patter out of your lungs.

God, you wished your belly wasn't in the way so you could see what he looked like between your legs. One day, soon.

Or, well... At least once you were fully recovered after the birth. Which would probably be a while.

You were so lost in Eddie's mouth working you over that you didn't notice Venom leering at you, saliva dripping around his fangs as his eyes narrowed to barely-there slits, focused intently on your heaving breasts; both long since swollen and sensitive as your milk came in.

You certainly didn't notice the small beads of hazy white liquid beading up and threatening to roll down the soft mounds of flesh as your orgasm approached.

"Oh, fuck--" You gasped, weakly rolling your hips to meet Eddie's eager mouth.

For a split second, you hear Venom snarl softly, before all of a sudden his mouth was on you, latching onto your pebbled nipple, his tongue rolling and squeezing your breast to get out every drop of that sweet liquid he could.

"Fuck." Eddie groaned, pulling back to breathe heavily.

Venom made sure Eddie could taste your milk as he drank from you readily, the flavor coating his tongue and flooding his taste buds to combine with the sweet taste of your nectar that coated his face and chin.

It was an intoxicating combination.

Eddie's eyes rolled a bit as he dove back in, aggressively sucking and nipping at your clit, gently prodding your entrance with his fingers as Venom proceeded to try and drain your breasts of all their milk.

All at once, the combined feelings had your mind blacking out, every muscle tensing as you came; your teeth snagging your bottom lip between them and you made a loud moan, barely able to string their names out of your mouth as they helped you ride out your orgasm.

Eddie pulls his mouth away from you and rises to his knees while Venom pulls himself free (albeit reluctantly) of your breast, licking the stray rivulets of milk that had begun to run down the sides of your tits.

"So sweet, love." He purred, licking his chops. "But we need more."

Venom's head merged back into Eddie's body, his inky mass slinking down his arms until it was comfortably arching your hips and back off the bed while Eddie rutted his sensitive cock against your sensitive cunt, still fluttering and clenching around nothing as the remnants of your orgasm waned.

But every lazy stroke of his hips sent little bolts of lightning arcing through your nerves, stretching out the little aftershocks just a bit farther as he carefully slid his cock into your hungry cunt.

"Fucking tight." Eddie hissed through clenched teeth, his eyes pinching shut.

"Not gonna last long, sweets." He rasped.

Between Venom working his cock over and edging him while he ate you out, and how your silky wet heat enveloped him so wonderfully tight, he could already feel himself getting lost in your body.

"Eddie, please..." You keened, your fingers going to grip at his wrists, your nails digging into his skin with each plunge of his cock into your needy hole.

He was careful with you, trying not to jostle you (and the baby) too much as he fucked you.

You felt the pressure build up low in your belly once more, squeezing down and sending another tight feeling down your spine as you became hyper-aware of every vein in his cock as he glided in and out of your hole.

"Almost, baby, almost..." Eddie breathed, wriggling one of his wrists free so he could brace it in the pillow by your head to give himself a bit of leverage as he rocked his hips into yours.

He could feel his orgasm climbing fast; sweat dripping down his brow as your delicate hands slid over his shoulders. The way you bit your lip and locked eyes with him only drove him further into no man's land.

"Fuck." He moaned weakly, his pace stuttering and dragging out as he felt the first volley of cum shoot out of his sensitive tip.

He had enough control to pull out, rutting his hips over your belly as the rest of his cum shot over your swollen belly and twitching pussy, his cock once more rutting against you as he came hard.

Your teeth grit and your nails dug in as Eddie buried his face in the crook of your neck, panting hard into your damp skin as you feel a sensation you were almost familiar with burst low, a fresh burst of wetness gushing from you are the pressure on your lower spine builds and tingles.

"Oh, fuck." You swallow. "Eddie."

"Yeah?" He asks, pulling back to look down at you with an almost cocky smile on his face.

"I think my water broke."

He and Venom both immediately began to panic.

"WHAT?!"

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The scrambling to get to the hospital moved by you in a blur. One minute Eddie was hastily dressing you in one of your sundresses, slippers, and a pair of panties, the next you were carried like some sort of fairytale princess down to the car park.

Good luck getting an ambulance out to your place tonight...

Eddie and Venom bickered the whole time to your car, your hospital bag prepped and slung over Eddie's shoulder as he guided you down to your car.

They sat you in the passenger seat and helped you buckle in as the first set of contractions ripple through you. As the pain flashed, you couldn't help but be reminded by your earlier concerns.

You read that some women felt pain for days, or hours before their water broke. Why were you only feeling it now? Was that a bad thing? Was something wrong?

Fuck, you knew it would hurt, but... you weren't prepared for the sudden sharp stabbing. You expected it to start as a throb and build from there, not immediately start out like someone was hacking away at your lower half.

When you arrived at the hospital, Eddie had actually slipped and busted his ass on the freshly mopped floor in his haste to fetch you a wheelchair.

You would have laughed, if you hadn't been gripping the safety handle in the car, screaming as another sharp jolt stabbed through you.

A few nurses even chased him out, harping about how he could have a concussion from falling, but quieted when they saw what had him in such a frantic rush.

Your baby girl was coming, whether you were ready or not.

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It had been close to four hours, and you were almost ready to deliver; nearly fully dilated, as your obstetrician cheerfully announced, a smile so cheerful and calm you almost kicked her in the face.

She was less impressed with Eddie, however, as she pulled him out of the delivery room to talk.

"We'll be right back, luv." She assured you sweetly.

"Uh... Is--is everything okay? You were saying they were okay, and--" He blurted out nervously.

"No, no, she's fine." She assured him, pushing her glasses up her nose once more.

"Then what..."

"I couldn't help but notice how hesitant she was to tell me how she went into labor. But I have to know, did she fall? Injure her belly in any way?" She questions.

"No! No, god no." Eddie said, waving his hands and shaking his head. "Nothing like that!"

She crossed her arms and tapped her finger on her bicep, a thick brow quirking upwards on her freckled brow.

"...Were the two of you having sex?"

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck fuck fuck.

FUCK.

"Uh... I, er..." Eddie put a hand on his hip and scratched the back of his head, casting a look into the room where you were read-faced and sweaty while the nurses wiped your face with a towel while your hands gripped the handles in the birthing chair you were seated in.

He blew a puff of air out of his cheeks.

God, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die. The embarrassment of the situation was too much for him, having this teeny tiny Irish woman stare him down.

"I'm not judging you." She says flatly, not letting him escape her microscopic gaze. "But I have to tell you that there is a reason we tell pregnant patients to avoid penetrative sex, or excessive sex this late into their third trimester. It can make them go into labor."

She clicked her tongue and sighed. "You're lucky that she was so close to her due date that the baby isn't in any real danger. But it was still reckless. Regardless if she consented or not, this sort of thing can be dangerous, you hear me?"

Eddie wilted, feeling very much like a puppy who got caught wee'ing on the carpet, shame and mortification filling every inch of his body. Even Venom felt this way, cringing internally at the truths the doctor spat at them as she gave her lecture.

Her rant was cut short when you made a sharp yelp, jerking and clutching at your belly and one of the nurses came rushing to the doorway.

"Doctor O'Halloran, she's ready. We can already feel the baby's head. Looks like this baby wants out now!" She said, absolutely calm and no concern in her voice. If anything, she sounded excited!

Eddie meanwhile was frantic as O'Halloran clicked her tongue again, checking her watch with an almost bored glance. "Huh. Look't that. Well! Let's get this baby out of her! Adjust the chair so she's a bit more comfortable."

She grinned at Eddie, "Well? C'mon, Papa! You better be in here to see your baby girl!"

He felt his heart surge and flop in his chest when she said that. It was finally settling in.

Papa.

Their baby. Their baby girl.

Eddie had scrambled to behind the chair, leaning forward to wrap his arms around you.

He was glad he had Venom to strengthen his body, because god, could he swear you had suddenly gained incredible super strength as you began to push, crying and screaming as your lungs were squeezed of air, the pain so blinding you had actually fainted for a few seconds, all while not losing your inhumanly tight grip on his hand.

You had shouted more obscenities than Eddie and Venom had ever heard you swear, in between crying and apologizing for saying them and fainting like a messed up cycle.

Doctor O'Halloran assured Eddie this was normal rather calmly as you came to yet again, just to cry and scream again as your body struggled to push the baby free of your birth canal.

The smell of blood immediately had Venom wanting to surge forth, despite knowing there was nothing he could do for you currently except support you from inside of Eddie as you endured the most painful struggle of your life and he bore witness to something he'd never seen with his own eyes.

The bringing of a life into the world.

It hurt the both of them, to see you hurting so badly as you strained to bring Willow out for the world to see. Thankfully, as Venom had hoped earlier in the night, your birth was going quickly.

Not painlessly, of course, oh no. Definitely not painless.

"The moment we get home, I'm bonding with her. I know I can do it." Venom whined within Eddie as you sobbed in pain. "I want to fix her. I don't want her to hurt anymore after this."

Eddie silently agreed, hoping you would consent to melding with the symbiote to heal the damages your body was going through to birth your baby.

They just wished that you didn't have--

All at once, your body went slack and your eyes shut, but before the boys could panic any further, a tiny, ear-piercing wail filled the room.

"A girl! A nice set of lungs on her!" O'Halloran laughed as she scooped up and handed the newborn off to the nurse. She knew that Eddie (and Venom of course) were too preoccupied between staring in awe at the squirming purple body the nurse held to focus on cutting the cord.

All they could think about was her.

She was here. In front of them. Finally.

Those tiny feet that kicked out at them all this time, the little head they could feel shift around in your belly...

The nurses adjusted the chair enough to allow you to lean back, and Eddie covered your face in kisses, waking you up again with a mad grin.

And, heaven fucking bless you; amazing, gorgeous, powerful you, you smiled back. A tired, watery smile as you cried in victory.

Giving birth and being birthed was the closest thing that someone could come to dying and still come out of it. Many were not so lucky, but they were glad you were among the majority that emerged from this bloody struggle with a smile on your face and mirth in your bloodshot eyes.

The nurses wiped your baby down a bit before pulling your gown down to place her squirming, hiccuping body onto your bare chest.

Your hands weakly went to cradle her warm body, kissing the top of her head where a patch of fuzzy hair was.

"Hey, sweetheart." You sniffled, whispering against the wet fuzz.

You could barely get words out as emotions surged out of you all at once, overwhelming your body and mind as you cradled your precious child.

Almost immediately as your voice washed over her, it was as if the angry baby instantly calmed. It was like your soft, happy sobs were a soothing balm to her squirming body.

Neither could tell who moved it first, but Eddie's hand went to cover yours, Willow looking positively teeny beneath his large hand, watching in awe as her tiny, fat little fingers clawed and groped at your chest.

The sounds of loud booms from outside filled your ears, making her jump and wail once more as you coo'd and murmured to your baby.

"Hey, Eddie?" You sniffled, looking up at him.

"Y... Yeah?" Eddie asked, his throat tight as tears began to build at the corners of his eyes.

You tipped your head and kissed his jaw, weak and tired.

"Happy new year."

You were only faintly aware of the nurses cheering; both the healthy baby you birthed and in celebration of the new year ahead of you.

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They kept you at the hospital for another two days after you gave birth. After passing the placenta and remaining viscera of the birth, your body felt like literal tons of strain had been lifted from you.

And of course you, at the same time, felt like you had been tackled unprotected by a professional linebacker.

So, of course as soon as Venom offered to ease your comfort and repair the damage you agreed. It would certainly save on the recovery time. Sure, it would be hard to explain during your next checkup, but you'd cross that bridge when you got to it.

Ms Chen had gone to the hospital, as she was practically the closest thing either of you had to a mother and she wanted to see the baby. She carried an armload of supplies with her, too. Including some kinda balm that frankly stunk of something akin to menthol, but whatever it did, it certainly eased the pain on your poor nethers.

And of course, she gave a shit-eating grin when you named her honorary grandma.

Even Eddie's ex, Anne, came with her fiancee to congratulate him and coo over the adorable little bundle he so proudly cradled in his strong arms.

He certainly had nurses swooning, but you knew their eyes were only for you. Especially after he cried some more when you wanted his name on her birth certificate.

Right now, you watched as Willow suckled on her cute pink pacifier that Anne had slipped down to the gift shop to buy while they were at the hospital.

She was dressed in a soft two-piece to ensure the remnants of the umbilical cord weren't too aggravated, her cute little face pinched as she grunted in her sleep, exhausted from feeding and content as you carefully swaddled her.

Eddie came up behind you as Venom's head emerged from his body, all three of you looking down as your newborn dreamt whatever dreams babies had. Probably about her next feeding time.

"She's so fucking cute." Eddie sighed dreamily.

"I know! And she's so chunky." You giggle. "I had a real meatball of a baby. No wonder I was so big."

"Nah, you're beautiful." Eddie chuckled, kissing the skin of your shoulder that had been exposed by your oversized T-shirt. One of his, for sure, but he didn't mind.

Venom purred in a near-silent content, before turning to look at Eddie with a shark-like grin, sending a thought telepathically for only him to hear.

The thought made Eddie choke and start to laugh as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

"What? What's so funny, you ginormous dorks?" You snicker.

"Ah. Eh..." Eddie said, grinning widely. "...Vee says he calls dibs on the next one."

"Next one..?" You say, your brows furrowing.

"Yeah... the next one. He wants to be the one to knock you up next time."

"Oh, my god!" You gasped, spinning around to slap at Eddie's shoulder while he and Venom laughed. "You two are horrible! Have mercy on my poor body!"

Venom leaned in, nuzzling the pulse in your neck.

"We didn't hear a no..."

[lua-magic]

Intresting Astrology facts (Vedic Astrology) Part 2.

Venus in fifth house natives will get money when they are into learning, teaching, counseling.

Venus in sixth house actually is debilitated, and gives problems in relationship, but here you can make money from service and charity, good for people who are into job.

Venus seventh house should go buisness in partnership.

Vedic astrology States that men who has their Venus in seventh house shoul not give importance to beauty in their partners because they will spoil their Venus instead focus on compatibility because seventh house is opposite to first house, so your partner should be of your energy match, hence Mars in seventh house should go partners with exalted Mars.

Venus ninth House, Venus with Jupiter, natives should always keep their morality and values on pedestal. Such natives can do work regarding religion and spirituality, and counseling.

Venus tenth House. Tenth house is your job and career and Venus is beauty, luxury, clothes, cosmetics, hence any Venus related work or job would be good as well, but as Venus in the house of Saturn, best remedy for Venus tenth house is take good care of shoes, or wear only branded shoes, as shoes are Saturn.

Venus eleventh House - Work related to social media, networking, even photography and videography would be good.

Venus twelfth house- Twelfth house is of foreign travels and foreign lands, so work related to import export, MNCs, or go to foreign land and work there

Venus is also healing, hence good Venus natives are great in healing others.

Venus with Moon, or Saturn Moon conjunction or in trine should choose work where they can travel alot, as moon is change of place.

Venus Mars Rahu conjunction or in trine should choose place where they get entirely different culture, like culture shock, but this culture shock is gonna be extremely beneficial for their money.

Venus Mars Ketu in conjunction or trine should go to place where people are connected to their roots, as ketu is roots.

Venus Mars, in conjunction or in trine if facing problems in work life, then change your place shift near hill station or mountains, as in vedic astrology Mars is Mountain.

Venus is money and Rahu is cheating, native who has Venus Rahu in conjunction or in trine could get cheated.

Venus moon Rahu - online cheating of Money.

Venus Sun Rahu, cheating by boss or higher authority, or father can get cheated.

Venus Sun Rahu native family will rise once they shift to foreign land, as rahu is foreign land and sun is family.

Venus Mercury Rahu- Cheating in documents or in business or by friends.

Venus Mars Rahu -Cheating in land or by brother, or brother can get cheated.

Venus Saturn Rahu Cheating by employees or people working under you or by elder member

Venus Jupiter Rahu Cheating by guru or teacher or by highly knowledgeable person.

If women has harmonal issues then Venus is afflicted.

If man has fertility problems then Venus is afflicted.

If your Venus is under the influence of malefics then you would fall sick often and has low immunity..

Natives with Saturn retro are obsessed with shoes and cleaning their foot

Natives with Mars Rahu often see or can come in contact with venomous insects, like bees, snakes, spider..

Ketu is Traingle and number of ketu is three, so Mercury ketu Native will always have three best friend.

Ketu is enemy of all planets except Jupiter.

If your ketu is debilitated then pray to your ancestors as ketu is roots

Natives with strong ketu are attached to their roots

Saturn ketu will pull you towards your roots, what work your ancestors were into, same work you will get into..

Whichever planets ketu is sitting or which ever house it is in you have to be spiritual regarding to it,

Venus ketu- spiritual regarding Money

Saturn ketu -spiritual regarding work

Jupiter ketu -spiritual knowledge.

Mercury Ketu -spiritual books or reading.

Mars ketu -spiritual regarding your land and property, and body, you need to treat your body and home as temple.

Moon ketu - Spiritual mindset.

Sun Ketu - Spiritual regarding family, respect every one in the family and think people around you are just big family of yours.

[pixelsandpins]

Let's say you see the new Venom movie this weekend. Then you want to read the comics. Reading guides can be very overwhelming. So as a Venomaniac, let me give a broader approach discussing main storylines, what's worth your time, and where I think you should/could start.

80s-90s: Origin, First Villain Run, Transition to Hero

The Alien Suit Saga begins in Amazing Spider-Man #252 (1984) after Peter finds the goo in Secret Wars #8. Then more specific Eddie/Venom shenanigans start in 298-300. Venom's whole origin story can be found in a trade paperback (aka a TPB) called Spiderman: Birth of Venom which also includes issues from other series to fill out the story. Venom continues to be a villain in Spider-Man for awhile, so most of his story up through 1993 is found across Amazing Spider-Man and Web of Spider-Man. There're couple of collections that cover parts of this, but the most complete is Spider-Man Vs Venom. From this era you can also get the trade paperback called Carnage: Born in Blood which covers the arrival and birth of Carnage. A more in depth reading guide will give you these individual issues, and you can find them all in Marvel Unlimited or other online source.

(I'm having a hard time finding what I feel is the optimal link, but these have the information, at least).

Birth of Venom individual issues.

Birth of Carnage individual issues.

These are all very 80s and 90s comics, however, so they require a little bit of fortitude if you've never read comics before. This theme will continue up through Venom's solo work through the 90s.

Venom's solo stuff begins with Venom: Lethal Protector in 1993 (available as a TPB). This is the arc where Eddie moves from villain to hero. It also introduces the first symbiote spawn and a few other major lore elements.

Up through the rest of the decade there are A LOT of 3-4 issue mini-runs starting with Venom: Funeral Pyre. You can knock each of them out in an evening, and they provide some details about character and story. You absolutely don't have to read most. There are some key ones, though, where the lore carries through:

Venom: The Madness brings value not in lore, but in narrative. It shows the way Eddie and the other physiologically affect each other. It's also just really good.

Venom: Separation Anxiety separates Eddie and the symbiote, exploring the changes in their relationship and deals with more spawn. This one is a major influence on the first movie.

Carnage: Unleashed gives more development to Carnage and sets a story beat up for later.

Go back to Spider-Man for Planet of the Symbiotes. This expands on symbiote lore and is a key element of Eddie and the others relationship. You can read it as individual issues or as a TPB. This one has a major influence on Venom 1 and 3.

Venom: Sinner Takes All introduces She-Venom, traumatizes Anne, and sets some later lore hooks for story.

Venom: The Hunger expands on the brain eating/addiction and introduces the chocolate substitute. They also hold hands at the movies, and I think that's super important, personally.

Venom: Seed of Darkness is one of the lesser priority ones but does provide some interesting Eddie backstory.

Spider-Man: The Venom Agenda sets up some new story and lore beats for the Venom/Spider-Man relationship.

Venom: Finale the symbiote temporarily dies, and it sets up narrative for future comics.

If you've never read comics before, this whole era might be a difficult starting place. Mostly because the ethos of comics have changed, and it can be harder to connect with material from the 80s and 90s. It's not bad, it's just different. It's kind of essential narrative and lore establishment, however. So either accept the challenge or come back to it later and accept you'll have gaps in the lore. If you've read pre-2000s comics before, you'll be fine. Read from the beginning. It's a riot.

Venomnibus 1 and 2 covers this era. The first bout of Epic Collections also end here.

1999-2010

There's a bit of a tricky transition here over the change in millennia as Venom goes back to being a villain for a bit, joining the Sinister Six. Because of this most of the story moves back to Spider-Man. The problem is: there's major story shit introduced, and there isn't a collected edition that covers this era properly. You'll require a reading guide or accept the lore gap.

Peter Parker: Spider-Man #9-10 covers the return of the symbiote to Eddie.

Amazing Spider-Man #19 features the death of Anne Weying, Eddie's ex-wife and, at one time, temporary host.

In 2003 they start expanding the Venom story again, in earnest, but he's still an antagonist. The first solo run here is Venom Vol 1 by Daniel Way. This is collected into 4-5 trades, also appears in Venomnibus 3, and consists of 4 arcs. This one never got narratively resolved, but Wolverine is there. So that's something. This is probably the most skippable of the "big series" however you could use this as a starting place. It's early enough that you won't be missing the second phase of lore, and it's a more "modern" story. However, it's not the strongest of the runs, so it might set the wrong expectations.

Spectacular Spider-Man: The Hunger adds an element of maliciousness to Venom's motivations. It's moderately essential narrative but very divisive.

Venom/Carnage is pretty good, introduces Toxin, and transitions us into the next narrative beat.

The Symbiote and Eddie Part Company, Scorpion!Venom Begins

Here is where Venom becomes a proper villain again, only...he's a protagonist? A PROTAGONIST VILLAIN, YOU SAY?

Marvel Knights: Spider-Man #5-12 are often left off reading guides, but they transition the symbiote from Eddie to Angelo Fortunato to Mac Gargan.

Gargan, as Venom, then joins the Thunderbolts for a while. This is in Thunderbolts #110-127 and continues in Dark Avengers

Dark Reign: Sinister Spider-Man is the story of Mac Gargan fuckin' around as Venom/Dark Spider-Man.

I'm of the opinion you can pretty much skip the entire Gargan era, and you won't lose much going forward. But it's also...kind of a fun read? And it does expand on what the influence the symbiote has on their host looks like.

Venomnibus 3 also collects much of this, but not all. Marvel Knights, Thunderbolts, Dark Avengers, and Dark Reign are all available as TPS/Omnis

Also skip Venom: Dark Origin, for now. It sort of rewrites Eddie in a way that didn't really stick going forward.

Right at the end here, Carnage gets a few more series and Eddie as Anti-Venom is first introduced in Spider-Man. Anti-Venom barely shows up, at first, but he persists going forward. There's no dedicated collection to the era, but the primary comics are collected in Spider-Man: New Ways to Die, and Anti-Venom: New Ways to Live.

2010->today

Flash Thompson/Agent Venom Begins

Here, the government strips the other from Mac and gives it to military vet Flash Thompson

If you start here you're coming in right at the start of the next major phase of lore for Venom that covers all the Cool Space Shit. It's a fan favorite and an objectively well-written run, but it's also thematically and narratively a bit of a turn from all the others. It will also be a really really long time before you see Eddie as Venom. So just keep that in mind going forward.

After a bit of Spider-Man prologue, this kicks off properly in 2011 with Venom Vol 2 by Remender and Bunn. The Spider Island crossover as part of this run goes in tandem with Amazing Spider-Man. You can use a guide to sort these issues or get the TPB or Epic Collection that covers them.

Right in the middle of Venom Vol 2, Flash joins the Secret Avengers in issue #23. This is the sort of "official" intro of the Agent Venom iteration specifically. You'll also see this era tie in to the Minimum Carnage crossover. It's an okay read, but doesn't leave a lot of lasting impact on the story. You can skip it, for now.

Agent Venom also joins the Thunderbolts from issue #1-23 (Way and Soule). This is skippable.

Superior Spider-Man #22-25 is the pretty darn Superior Venom story and coves the gap between the end of the Agent Venom run and the beginning of the upcoming space-based stories. It's an an odd comic, though, in that very quickly changes the shape of Flash's relationship with the symbiote, but that relationship holds going forward.

Flash Goes to Space

His story continues in the Guardians of the Galaxy run from 2014, joining in issue #14. The most important part of his tenure with Guardians, however is issue #21-23. This is where we see the symbiote/Klyntar homeworld.

He rejoins the Guardians for 20 issues in the next run starting in 2015, but it's skippable.

These are both available as their own omnis or TPB collections.

Venom: Space Knight is sick as fuck and my favorite with Flash. A lot of good, juicy alien lore.

Eddie Becomes Venom, Again

Before Eddie goes back to his boyfriend, he spends some time as Toxin. The bulk of this is covered in the 2015 Carnage run by Conway.

Venom Vol 3 by Costa begins in 2016, and we see the transition from Flash to Lee Price briefly then finally back to Eddie. This is my personal favorite major run. It currently comes in 4 TPB. Starting here gives you street level Venom again but does drop you deep shit into the lore. You can one-hundred percent start here, though, extremely easily because they treat it as a soft reboot.

Within this run you'll see crossovers for Venom Inc. and Poison X. These expand on the overall story by introducing Mania and the Poisons, the latter of which are lead-ins for the first Venomverse comics. You can skip the Venomverse storylines, for now, but they are a lot of fun.

First Host is a really great mini-run in 2018 that talks about the true first host of the symbiote and introduces Sleeper. It's available as a TPB.

The Cates run (vol 4) (also has Bunn on it) begins in 2018, and it's very very good. It's where the character of Knull comes from, as featured in the new movie. A lot of people start here and have a good time. The way it's narratively constructed, it's beginner friendly, but you're sort of coming in at the end of Eddie's arc.

This also involves the Absolute Carnage and King in Black crossover events which are collected in a TPB/Omni.

This is also all collected in the recent Cates and Stegman Venomnibus.

The current Ewing run (vol 5) ends in November (cries), but you CANNOT START HERE. Without the previous Cates run, at minimum, the current run is missing vital story and lore information. You will be so lost, at first, that it simply won't be fun.

You'll note I've skipped a number of side runs including a few Carnage runs and Toxin. Slot them in if you want additional lore and story, but you can get by without them if it all becomes too much.

The lore drops that appear in Spider-Man in between solo runs might seize you up for a moment, but when necessary, the solo comics will catch you up as needed.

The past five years have also seen a handful of retro-runs that go back in time to tell stories from Eddie's early time with Venom. You could slot them in with the other 90s mini-runs, but I think they're more fun after you've been reading for awhile.

A new run is starting in December called All New Venom where Eddie will no longer be the host. Who will? We don't know! The way it's being advertised, I'm going to make a guess it ends up being a passable starting point for new readers. I'll know when I get my issue #1.

[mykoreanlove]

Fake date me please?

How Felix and you ended up fake-dating

Ever since you uploaded a new picture to your socials, your phone wouldn’t stop ringing. Every notification made your stomach turn, each one was more venomous than the next.

Y/N is such an ugly bitch!!!! How many filters did you put on this? No wonder no guy wants to date her – look at her.

You didn’t mind the insults about your looks or how you chose to express yourself but the point about you being unloved stung badly. It was true – you had a shitty record when it came to love. No guy you had ever truly liked, wanted to be with you. You were always the odd one, the one no one considered as girlfriend material.

Sadly, the bullying didn’t stop online. A couple of girls you had classes with appeared next to you, pointing their fingers at you, whispering, and laughing.

“Jesus, look at that disgusting cow. I wouldn’t touch her if you paid me to!”

They all broke into laughter, feeling their best while you felt your worst. You focused on the hot cup of coffee in your hands, trying your best not to break down in front of everyone as you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Sorry lovebug, did you wait long for me?”

You looked into the most beautiful brown eyes you had ever seen. Blonde curls framed his face while heart-shaped lips smiled at you sweetly.

Felix, one of the most beloved guys on campus, stood right in front of you, calling you lovebug.

Or did you hear that wrong?

“Classes ran late but I’m here now. You look so beautiful today, baby.”

Nope, you heard that right.

“What is that bitch doing with Felix?”, the girls whispered in agony. “Did he call her baby? Seriously?”

Jealousy was written all over their faces, that at least made you feel better.

Felix sat down next to you, as the bullies left the café. You exhaled deeply, trying to let go of the stress you felt in your body.

“I hope I didn’t cross a line, but I couldn’t stand seeing them doing this to you.”

Your eyes started to tear up – no one had shown you this much kindness in ages.

“No, no, no. Thank you, Felix. I really appreciate it”, you hastily replied.

He frowned in amusement. “You know who I am?”

Was he joking? Everybody knew who he was. Girls on campus would murder to be with him. But you couldn’t be one of them, you wouldn’t dare to be one of them.

“Yeah, we have English lit together.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “We do? Shit, I should start paying attention more.”

You stuck your hand out laughing. “Y/N. Nice to meet you, Felix.”

You chatted for a while about this and that, but Felix needed to know more about your life.

“Does this happen often?��

You looked down embarrassed, explaining your misery to him. “I see”, he nodded understandingly.

“Hey, I got an idea. Why don’t I be your boyfriend?”

You choked on your drink.

“What?”

He smiled reassuringly.

“Yeah, let’s teach those brats a lesson. They bully you for being single? Fine, date me then!”

He saw the bewilderment in your eyes and tried to explain himself more.

“It’s like a fake relationship, y/n. This way, they let you live your life peacefully and I can teach them a lesson on kindness.”

“Are you… are you serious?”

Felix packed both of your stuff into his brown leather bag while flashing you his most charming smile.

“Come on. Let’s go on a date!”

___________

part 2 part 3

[entenoi]

So, as of now, we know 2/3 of Tobimune's abilities, the first being Crow and the second being Owl. If we follow that logic and the third ability is another bird, as well as referring to Buddhist lore about birds, I'm gonna guess that Peacock or Vulture will be the third ability of Tobimune. Also, sorry in advance for my ignorance about Buddhism, I just did some research online and tried my best to be accurate as possible, but I'm sure I might have messed up somewhere.

Peacock: it's the embodiment of the Boddhisattva, which can take ignorance and transform it into enlightenment, as it has the ability to take the venom from snakes and plants and covert it into nectar, a metaphor for creating positive energy from negative energy

Vulture: a bird of prey and a scavenger, one that eats the decaying flesh of dead animals and humans. They're an important part of the Tibetan Buddhist practice of "sky burials" as a means to humanely discard dead bodies in an act of compassion/generosity (Jhator). The belief is that when someone dies, their spirit leaves their body, so the dead body becomes an empty vessel, which can be used as food for the earth and animals, and the departed soul can then have a chance at rebirth.

And a wild card guess could be Garuda. In Hinduism, Garuda is a eagle-human hybrid known as the king of all birds, the vehicle for Vishnu, and is often depicted grasping a snake (naga), its enemy. In Buddhism, it's a bird-like creature that can create powerful storms and shake the earth just by flapping its wings.

I also considered Rooster because it represents attachment, one of the three poisons that one must free themselves from to end suffering, but I'm not as confident in this option compared to the others. (can I get half credit if it ends up being Rooster?)

Generally, in Buddhism, birds are symbols of attachment, enlightenment, and an escape/freedom from cycles/rebirth (samsara), which is the cause of suffering. Birds, specifically the rooster, are at the center of the wheel of life (bhavacakra), along with snakes and pigs, representing the three poisons: attachment (passion/greed/lust), aversion (aggression/hatred/anger), and delusion (ignorance/confusion). When you can eliminate those desires (poisons) that defile your mind, you can break free of the cycle of rebirth and end suffering.

As we know, Samura tried to detach himself of his "worldly desires" by becoming a Buddhist and blinding himself. The guilt of his war crimes ate him up and made him want to eliminate the other enchanted blade wielders because he believes they are all complicit in the horrors they created and need to be punished, himself included.

Blind is this world; there are few here who can see. Those who go to heaven are as few as birds who escape from a net. –Dhammapada 174

[image-thot]

All For What? Pt.1 - ES Shockwave x Cybertronian Reader

So this was technically only going to be a one-part thing but now... Well, now it's two. Anyway finally got some more mean Es Shockwave out here, I hope you all enjoy part 1 :D Summary: Onlining next to Shockwave is one of the most fighting things to happen to you until Shockwave reveals that he hasn't entirely moved on. Still thinking the Terrans are abominations and still despising Autobots. Thankfully he does admit that the answer to the war is new cybertronians, obviously only created from him. Notes: Reader is written gender neutral Warnings: None For this part however that changes in part 2

Word Count: 796

Your processor was cloudy as you came to, barely remembering what had happened before Mandriod had drained your energon.

You remembered helping the Terrans escape Ghost, trying to stop Shockwave from killing them and subsequently helping free him from the mind control chip. Then Ghost soldiers… no… droids… had attacked. Fighting erupted and then everything went dark.

You had felt cold and a sense of impending doom spread over your frame.

Then a bright light engulfed your processors, and warmth spread through your frame as your systems returned online.

"I'm… I'm alive." Your venting is shaking as your optics scan the farm, taking in the damage from the battle and the noticeable lack of your Terrans and the humans.

When you spot Shockwave you visually flinch. Not seeming to notice you, he watched curiously as Fluffy Ears licked at his astromag cannon. You were ready to defend her if Shockwave made a move to hurt the small calf. Attempting to stand, you are overwhelmed by the vertigo your systems face. You almost crash back to the ground, your servos catching you before you fully come tumbling down.

"The aftermath of any form of stasis isn't pleasant is it?" Shockwave's snide voice snaps your optics up, looking over at him once again.

He's staring at you, antenna pulled slightly back as his optic glows in what you assume is amusement. Slowly pushing yourself to your knees you glare at him.

"You could have warned me.." Huffing out as your optics leave him to scan the nearby debris. "The children… are they...?"

Your voice trails off as you look, you don't spot them nor any remnants of them. Shockwaves scoff brings your attention back to him, watching as he shoos Fluffy Ears away before shakily standing to his peds.

"Dead? No, those abominations live to fight another day it would seem." His words fill you with both relief and anger. The Terrans were alive somewhere and they were hopefully safe. Your anger rose from Shockwave's bigotry. Even after they had helped him he still views them in such low regard.

Watching as he moves towards the barn you growl, digits digging into the dirt you slowly push yourself up and stand on shaky peds. Giving yourself several moments before slowly following after the mad Con.

"Why do you deem them abominations when they are far from it?! Because you didn't create them and therefore you deem them so?!" Shouting as you attempt to follow him down, your pace much slower but not quieting your voice. "No! They are our future! They are-"

As you round the corner into the dugout your chassis collides with Shockwaves astromag cannon. Optics narrowing, you quieten yourself. Listening to the humming of his weapon as he stares you down, antenna twitching as he seems to decide on what to do with you. 

"Our Future?" The words are said with venom and the pressure on your chassis grows firmer pushing you back until you hit a wall. You grunt in discomfort and your servos shoot up to stop its advance less it pierces through to your spark.

"Earth’s perhaps, but not mine… Not Cybertron’s. No. Our Future won't be decided by a new species, one not even created by Cybertronians." Shoving your servos off his cannon as he moves it across your neck, his helm tilting to the side makes him seem amused but the tone in his words are anything but.

"They were created by the Emberstone. It makes them as Cybertronian as either of us." Choking back a pained cry as he pushes harder into your neck cabling, his other servo digs into your abdominal plating helm moving closer to yours as you fight back any signs of weakness.

"Stupid Autobot. The ember stone aided in their creation with the help of those flesh bags. Nothing more than failed experiments" He's playing with you now, perhaps his processor has finally succumbed to the damage taken over the years. 

Perhaps he really is just mad.

"You’d know all about failed experiments, so many Cybertronians that you’ve twisted into monsters." Your words spat out as you try and twist in his grasp, servos dropping to his trying to pull it off your abdominal plating.

“You’ve never created a real new life.”

Only drawing more pain from your abdomen as you struggle against the larger mechs hold. This was how you're gonna die, after the war ended to a Decepticon still living in the past.

“Of course, an Autobot would think that.” Scoffing as he softens his hold on your neck cabling, his helm drawing back from you as he studies you.

"Perhaps it's time for a new creation.." 

The words confuse you, has he actually changed his mind? No… that would be too simple.

[blackknightgargiemoviephile]

Venom: The Last Dance

This movie.

Has.

Broken me.

WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

I know I have a lot more backlogged movies to review in my drafts section, but I watched this movie last weekend and I am still recovering from the depression I feel from watching this movie.

The story itself and the in-between pacing, to be fair, is a little bit mellow and a little bit dragged out. I mean, I get it, we're looking at the perspective where it has only been a year (a year? Really? Only that long? I thought it felt longer) in this movie universe timeline since Eddie and Venom's relationship began, so not much extra development can be said other than the fact that they have to be on the run and the plot sorta takes place almost straight after the events of Venom 2, but come on. I thought it would've been a little bit more of an exciting adventure than just running around getting drunk, getting over hangovers, losing and acquiring shoes (which is a pretty funny gag, ngl) and just traveling and hitchhiking in the middle of the desert.

The part where Venom hitchhiked on a plane to get to NY was pretty hilarious though, and the part where Venom infects a horse to give Eddie a faster ride kinda reminds me of their bike scene in the first movie, and that was pretty epic. Them having to get away from Strickland's men and wrestling with them in the water was also pretty exciting, and I was like screaming internally for Venom to quickly reach Eddie before he drowns or dies or get caught, got my heart pumping there.

When they added Martin Moon and his hippie family into the mix, tbh, they were technically kinda an unnecessary plot device. I mean, I guess they were sorta just there to give the human element? To fill the gap that was supposed to Eddie's ex-fiance's spot that she had been occupying for the first 2 movies? Yeah, totally unnecessary. They could've just have a very short scene of him hitchhiking with Martin (or any other person for that matter) without needing to delve into their character development or building any sort of bond, and just leave it at that and not get them involved in any part of the alien battle, that would've been fine.

Also, there can be no Venom without Mrs Chen LOL Their little dance scene was maybe a little cringe, but at the same time it was just hilarious and cute at the same time

The other symbiotes were interesting and got me guessing which symbiote is which based on the colour and my limited knowledge of other symbiote characters (thanks to Wiki and Tumblr), though I couldn't remember when exactly was the part where Mulligan got infected by a symbiote, but then the story had him infused with another symbiote to save his life, which felt a little odd since I've never seen this version of a symbiote anywhere in the comics or online, and that symbiote kinda reminds me a little bit of that fish man character in The Shape of Water LOL

The Xenophage alien was pretty cool and brutal at the same time, and the symbiotes, after they merged with the humans (which included Christmas and Teddy), look really really cool. It's a shame the fight scene on that one was a little short. Could've worked in a bit more fight scenes with the other symbiotes, and Teddy/Agony moment was also kinda short, but Christmas' symbiote was pretty awesome. I have a feeling her and Mulligan's symbiote were sorta an OC of sorts coz they defo did not seem to exist in any research I've seen of the symbiote characters.

And don't tell me I didn't see the attraction between Teddy and Christmas. My gaydar for men maybe a little weak, but my gaydar for women seems pretty spot on between them.

The climax. OMG the climax. The part where Eddie and Venom agreed that as long as they're both alive, Knull would just keep sending in more Xenophages, and Venom sacrificed himself and tossed Eddie out so he can die along with the Xenophage army, and when he said "Goodbye for now" instead of "Goodbye" like in the first movie... and then this scene...

I just cried. I cried and I died and my heart was just ripped to pieces as I watch Venom just melt before my eyes. The sacrifice he made for his Eddie. The way he said "I'll never forget you" and "Don't forget me either". I cannot. I just cannot...

And the ending scene where Eddie wakes up in the military hospital and realized Venom is no longer in his head for reals, the way he said "I need him", and the way he walks through the city alone with flashbacks of him and Venom from all three movies while Maroon 5's "Memories" was playing in the background? Oh god, it just broke me into more pieces and I cried even more. I've never cried harder than I've ever cried for a ship. The last time I cried this hard is when Dreamworks killed my Toothcup ship, and now this? I'm crying even harder. I'm still crying now as I'm typing this. I will never hear this song or feel about it the same way ever again.

The only other beef/nitpick I have for this movie is that the villain Knull was kinda weak. He hardly had any role in the movie, and it was just wasted cameo by Andy Serkis in there. All he basically did was just sit there in one spot and just sent the Xenophages to do the dirty work, which any Tom-Dick-Harry villain can do. I know now that's they're sorta setting him up as an intro character like they tried to do with Kraven, so hopefully? Maybe? Knull would end up in more of the SSU verse and also maybe MCU's upcoming new Spiderman film that'll be in 2026? Hope so.

Also, why did they need to end this amazing franchise?? They have so much more potential. When they put the end credit scene in which Eddie/Venom woke up in the MCU verse, I was hoping that it would spark a nice crossover movie or two about Peter "Tom Holland" Parker would have to deal with Venom and have an adventure or two (or three, or four, I'm not complaining). Let Spidey and Venom have their hero-villain rivalry moment before Venom slowly becomes established as an anti-hero or something.

Remember one of the end credit scenes in Spiderman where Eddie and Venom gets sent back to their universe thanks to Dr Strange's spell and a small piece of Venom was left behind? I've heard rumours about maybe that would be the tie in for SSU and MCU and for Venom to return and shine, but I also know it may be that MCU wants to have their take on a Venom for Tom Holland's Spidey, but to go through all that all over again with another new backstory for Venom and another character playing Venom? No. No way. There is no one else that can be a better Venom. Tom Hardy's Venom or bust.

Anyone who stayed all the way to the end to see the end credits for Venom 3 (seriously, the credit role was way too long though), there is a hint that the tiny piece of Venom that Strickland had captured when Venom also left behind at the bar in his universe maybe free, and that there is hope that this Venom would make his way back to Eddie and they can become whole again but still, they said that this was the final installment of the SSU Venom franchise, so...

Fuck you, Sony.

You and Dreamworks have officially killed another ship of mine.

I love and hate this movie at the same time and I. AM. BAWLING.

[talkativeanxiousturtle]

⚠️ WARNING⚠️: VENOM TLD SPOILERS!!!

OK so, can we all agree those two scientists are gonna make wonderful lesbians in the obvious online released TV show they're setting up?

Like first of all, I came into the cinema expecting my loveable goofs to be amalgamated into the MCU. That's Disappointment Avoided #1. Then, I expected this to be the last of the Venom franchise, maybe see some of them in other MCU movies, but I was ready to grieve. However, those POST CREDIT SCENES??! "And you will WATCH"?!? A movie has never made it more obvious that it is setting up something else. So that's Disappointment Avoided #2. Now, my question is, how are they bringing back Christmas Venom, cause she was extremely cool and feels like something they're gonna want to bring back.

As for the NOT avoided disappointments, these guys deserve a happy ending. Similar to that of the first movie, if need be. But if the cockroach DOES mean Venom is alive, then I have my hopes. Plus, the sentence "goodbye for now" was used by a character I honestly didn't think was gonna see Eddie again, but then did at the best possible moment. So, VENOM, you better deliver on that promise, my guy, or I'll stick your slimy ass in a boombox!!

Now all that's left is to wait for the release of "Symbiote: Legion" or whatever they're gonna call it.

[ysmtttty]

Red Ferrari

Chapter 2

Azris AU, where Azriel is a mechanic and has his own service station. One day, Eris comes there because something is wrong with his car.

AO3 Chapter 1 Chapter 3

"Go on a date with me," Eris said, completely throwing Azriel off balance. Did he really say that?

"Excuse me?"

"I said go on a date with me, Azriel," Eris repeated, his voice calm and composed as if he hadn’t just asked him on a date.

"No," Azriel refused.

"Why not?" Eris asked, raising an eyebrow. He sounded genuinely puzzled, which made sense for a person who was used to getting everything he wanted with a snap of his fingers. However, Azriel reminded himself that it was better not to get involved with people like Eris, no matter how hot they were.

"Just no. The checkup would take three hours, you could wait inside or pick up the car later," he quickly changed the subject, looking at the Porsche. Eris shrugged and ordered a taxi, completely unbothered.

Azriel was a little surprised at how quickly Eris gave up. Not that he wanted Vanserra to chase him, persuade him, and so on. No. It was just that Eris seemed like the kind of person who always got what he wanted. After all, he was an attorney. But maybe, it was beneath his dignity to persuade someone to go on a date with him.

And yet, it was good that Eris did not insist. Azriel thought that he might have agreed. In another universe. In other circumstances. In a situation where he did not know that Eris was a spoiled rich boy who looked down on people like Azriel. It was quite possible that if they had met in some bar, Azriel would have made the first move himself. But definitely not here.

Since Vanserra had already left, Azriel returned to his Porsche only in the evening, after finishing with the other cars that were waiting for him in the garage. Cassian was walking around for some reason, inspecting the car and commenting on the design, as if they were millionaires and about to buy one.

Despite his preference for working in silence, Azriel did not chase him away. On the contrary, he nodded and answered with meaningful "mhms" when Cassian made another comment. Obviously, he really liked the Porsche.

"You’ve been lucky with clients these days," Cassian said, sitting on the nearest bench while Azriel looked under the hood of the car. "With such expensive cars, you'll soon be able to open your own workshop."

"And burden myself with problems like hiring people like you? No, thank you," Azriel replied sarcastically, without any real venom.

"Hey! I thought we were best friends!" Cassian dramatically raised his hands and then pressed one hand to his chest. "I feel betrayed. How quickly friends are forgotten in the pursuit of money."

While Cassian continued to rant about how Azriel had already become arrogant with all this money, he continued to inspect Eris's car. The Porsche really didn’t need a checkup, but just to be sure, Azriel conducted a full inspection.

Later that evening, they sat in a bar together – he, Cassian, and Rhysand, who was distracted by phone calls every five minutes. At first, it was unnoticeable, just a couple of calls on the phone. Cassian even joked that he and Feyre couldn’t spend more than five minutes without each other.

However, after the third or fourth call, it started to become annoying.

"Excuse me," Rhysand said, as he once again picked up the phone and walked away to avoid the noise of the bar interfering with the conversation. When he returned, both Cassian and Azriel looked at him questioningly.

"Either your number was posted online with a 'husband for an hour' ad, or I don’t know how else to explain this," Cassian said. Rhysand rolled his eyes and snorted in response to this comment.

"It's a lawyer," he said.

"Is something wrong with the workshop?" Azriel asked, a little tense. Once, they already had problems with bureaucratic issues, and back then Rhysand had also used all his connections and called all possible lawyers to save the workshop and avoid a huge fine.

"No, it’s not related to work," Rhysand shook his head, but something in his expression betrayed tension. Azriel couldn’t help but notice how tense his shoulders were or how he tried not to frown.

"Then what is it?" Cassian asked impatiently. "Come on, tell us what’s wrong. We’re almost like brothers. It’s not nice to keep secrets like this."

"It’s Mor..." Rhysand began, but another call interrupted him. "Speak of the devil," he said jokingly and once again went away to answer it.

When he returned, Cassian was already in the middle of an emotional story about how Nesta Archeron’s heart was starting to melt. About how she almost agreed to have dinner with him. The whole story could have been summed up in a few sentences, but Cassian stretched it out for half an hour.

By the time he finished, no one remembered Mor and any personal matter with Rhysand. The family drama could remain within his family.

"By the way, Azriel already got himself a new regular client," Cassian said. Rhysand raised an eyebrow with interest.

"Really?" he smirked, hearing a certain hint in Cassian's tone. "Male? Female?"

"Male. And don’t get any ideas, it’s not what you’re thinking about," Azriel rolled his eyes, realizing where the conversation was heading. "Yes, he asked me on a date, but I said no. I have no interest."

"Come on, man. Dude literally drives a Porsche and a Ferrari!" Cassian exclaimed.

"Even if he drove a Tesla, I’m not interested," Azriel snorted. He was interested. But people like Eris were always bad news. "Besides, why should I be interested in a relationship at all?"

Not that he was going to spend the rest of his life alone, surrounded only by cars. No. Finding a partner had never been a problem for Azriel, whether it was girls or guys, they always approached him first. And even if he made the first move, most often he was met halfway.

However, after several failed relationships, plus the disaster with Mor, Azriel was not a fan of serious relationships. Lately, all he had were one-night stands and other no-strings-attached arrangements. No feelings, just mutual pleasure.

"I don’t know, I think you could try dating again," Rhysand said with a somewhat thoughtful expression.

"Why? To be a love-struck fool like you two?" Azriel snorted.

"Hey!" Cassian exclaimed. "We’re not fools."

"Right, it’s not you who serenades almost every night."

"It’s a romantic gesture!"

The rest of the evening passed with drinks, similar arguments, and other things. Azriel definitely did not think about changing his mind and agreeing to a date with Eris. And Azriel definitely did not think about Eris at all.

The next morning, an Aston Martin arrived at the workshop. For a second, Azriel thought that maybe Eris had recommended the place to some of his rich friends, but within seconds, Eris himself got out of the car. Damn.

"Good morning," he smiled, waving and leaning against the car. Azriel rolled his eyes, adjusted the ever-falling strap of his overalls, and reluctantly waved back.

"Hey," he said, "your Porsche is in perfect condition."

He looked towards the car, thinking that someone must be inside so that Eris could sit in his Porsche and take it, while the second person would leave in the Aston Martin. But the car was empty. Just Vanserra. Great.

"Let me guess, this beauty needs a checkup too?" Azriel tried not to sound grumpy. It was unlikely anyone else would grumble about new expensive orders, especially when there was little to do considering the cars were new.

"Absolutely right," Eris nodded, keeping that annoying smirk on his face. "How much for the Porsche?"

Azriel named the sum, this time not a penny more, just the exact price.

"So, have you thought about it?" Eris asked while transferring the money. This time, too, exactly the amount Azriel had said.

"About what?"

"The date."

Azriel looked at him like an idiot. It turned out that Eris had not given up on the idea yesterday, he just decided to continue insisting today.

"Still no," Azriel answered. Before Eris could open his mouth to respond, he turned to the Aston Martin, opening the car’s hood.

Eris returned the next day. And the day after that. And overall, he appeared in the workshop every day, which drove Azriel crazy. As it turned out, Vanserra had a ton of cars. And by a ton, it meant a really, really lot. Throughout the week, he arrived in a new car every day, and Azriel swore that if this continued, his eye would start twitching.

Every day they had a short conversation, exchanged barbs, then Eris asked him on a date, and Azriel refused. Routine, what can you say.

Today, Eris arrived in a Bentley, looking like he hadn’t slept in the last 24 hours. But even that did not erase his signature smirk when he looked at Azriel, once again repeating the same phrase about the date.

"Seriously, what’s the problem?" Eris asked, hiding his hands in the pockets of his coat.

What’s the problem? Honestly, Azriel himself couldn’t understand why he kept refusing. Nor could he understand why Eris was so persistent. It seemed that for a simple fling of a day or two, no one would bother so much. Maybe it was about the challenge, the feeling that he needed to come out victorious in this situation. A matter of honor and all that, with Eris’s inflated ego, Azriel wouldn’t be surprised if that were true.

Partly, this was the reason why Azriel couldn’t agree himself. A feeling of some kind of defeat? But more than anything, the social difference between him and Vanserra scared him. Even though it was the 21st century, Eris still seemed too out of his league. With those rich jerk manners. He arrived in a new car every day like clockwork just to ask him on a date, what else could be added?

"Just no," he shrugged.

"Got it," Eris nodded, looking like he definitely had some plan in his head. And Azriel couldn’t yet guess what it was, but still tensed a bit. "So, I guess the Mercedes checkup will cost the same as the other cars?"

Azriel nodded and within a couple of minutes, the money came through. Three times more than needed. Fuck.

"Is this your plan?" he asked, not hiding the irritation in his voice. Vanserra had remembered from the first time how much sending extra money pissed him off, and actively used it. Damn rich lawyers. "Throwing money at me, thinking you can buy my agreement?"

"I’m not buying your agreement," Eris shrugged. "I’m offering a deal. You can return the extra money if you go on a date with me."

The bastard had the audacity to smirk, looking like a cat that ate the canary. Azriel rolled his eyes again.

"Ten out of ten, top-notch strategy," he commented sarcastically. Eris just shrugged, the gesture saying all’s fair in war. "And of course, you’re sure I’m interested in returning the money enough to agree to a date."

"Oh, I’m sure," the smirk became even more smug if that was possible. "You know, I have a lot of cars, and I think it’s time to check each one. If you refuse to go on a date with me, I’ll transfer more than necessary for each checkup. And each time, the amount will double."

Azriel looked at him, not understanding how he was supposed to react to this. He just threatened him with money transfers? A mentally unstable person couldn’t be such a successful lawyer, right?

However, the worst part was that this threat worked on Azriel because if there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was handouts.

"This is unique blackmail," he said.

"The most unique blackmail in my life, believe me," Eris chuckled, "usually people pay me to not do something, not the other way around. But it’s quite engaging."

"Very funny."

"I’m not joking," Eris smiled boyishly, "I have a lot of patience and a lot of money to keep my word. And you have too much pride to stand it."

Azriel wanted to tell him to go to hell, but Eris was right. He wouldn’t be able to simply accept this money if Vanserra kept his word and paid several times more for repairs. He could always just refuse to service his cars, but Eris would likely continue sending money without any reason.

"One date," Azriel frowned, speaking after a while. "Just one."

"Deal," Eris smiled.

Damn, what had he gotten himself into?

*       *       *

"You agreed to a date?" Rhysand asked, raising an eyebrow, obviously surprised by what he heard. Azriel already regretted telling them based on Rhysand and Cassian's reactions. "Who are you and what have you done with our friend?"

"Very funny," Azriel answered dryly, rolling his eyes. "It’s just one date. We’ll probably get laid afterward, and he’ll stop bothering me with his idiotic threats."

"Which means we both lose a stable source of a good income," Rhysand said, not hiding his disappointment. As the owner of the workshop, he obviously got a share of the profits Azriel made. And Eris had brought them more in the past week than all other clients did in a few months.

"Which means I’ll restore my nervous system," Azriel countered.

"At least let me shake hands with this saint," Rhysand joked. "I need to see the person who’s that into you at least once."

Azriel rolled his eyes, not wanting to repeat again that Eris wasn’t into him. But Cassian laughed, and Rhysand smirked. Two bastards.

"And where are you going?" Cassian asked curiously. "After all that showing off, he’s probably taking you to a fancy restaurant or something."

"No idea," Azriel shook his head. "The idiot isn’t answering my messages, and I’m not going to look desperate over some date he himself pushed me into."

"And yet you agreed," Cassian said. Azriel silenced him with a look.

Maybe that was his problem. Pretending he didn’t like the current circumstances at all. That he was forced. That it wasn’t by his own will. When in reality, Azriel was scared.

Scared that he’d like it.

That he'd liked Eris Vanserra, who, Azriel had no doubt, would disappear as soon as he got what he wanted. You didn’t need to be a genius to know people like Eris. For him, it was just another amusement, a new challenge, as if he didn’t have enough.

"I think you’re dramatizing," Rhysand said calmly. "It’s just a date. If you don’t like it, you’ll part ways. But maybe you will like it."

"You’re not helping," Azriel shook his head.

At that moment, he received a message.

"Tomorrow at seven. Are you free?"

On one hand, Azriel respected Eris’s no-bullshit way of communicating, but on the other, a simple "hi" was somehow missing. Nonetheless, he replied with a short "yes," ignoring how Rhysand and Cassian looked at him, thinking he didn’t notice.

"Great. I’ll pick you up. Send me the address," the next message read.

And that was it. No instructions, no valuable hints like "look decent, not like you just crawled out from under a car" or anything like that.

"Is that your friend?" Rhysand smirked.

"Yeah," Azriel nodded, sounding a bit irritated. "He just wrote 'I’ll pick you up at seven.'"

"And you expected something else?" Cassian asked in surprise, "Like some conversation in the spirit of 'How was your day, my favorite mechanic?'"

"No, of course not. But at least specifying where we’re going would’ve been enough," Azriel grumbled, still trying to maintain his irritated nature about the whole situation. His friends only nodded with a meaningful "aha," making him want to throw them both out of his apartment.

"At least we can bet on which car he’ll pick you up in," Cassian joked. "I’m betting on the Porsche."

"You just really like that Porsche," Azriel chuckled. "I’m betting on the Ferrari."

They both looked at Rhysand, who shrugged and said Bentley.

Eris arrived in a Ferrari, and Azriel couldn’t help but think he had expected it. He didn’t know why, it just felt right to think this was his favorite car. Vanserra himself looked perfect – a black shirt with a dark red tie, and a jacket thrown over his shoulders. Though he always dressed well. Azriel didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was checking him out. No doubt, it flattered Eris’s ego, who smirked slyly but didn’t comment, and for that, Azriel was grateful.

“Exactly at seven,” Azriel said, his hands in his pants pockets. Damn, yesterday he had to ask Rhysand for some decent clothes because, as it turned out, his wardrobe only had the suit from his graduation, and everything else was either too casual – and Azriel was sure Eris would drag him to some fancy place – or all the clothes had at least once been worn in the workshop and now had stains of motor oil and soot.

“I love punctuality,” Eris shrugged. He wouldn’t say that he had been hanging around Azriel’s apartment complex for the past fifteen minutes. Instead, he looked Azriel over. “You look great.”

Azriel wanted to find a hint of sarcasm or mockery in his voice, to remind himself that he didn’t like Eris. But he found none. Damn Vanserra.

“Yeah, I’ve already heard that I look better in clean clothes,” he shrugged, recalling his words. Petty? Very. Deserved? Probably.

Eris rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “That really bothered you?” he snorted. “If so, I’m sorry. I was tired and not watching what I was saying.”

Wow, the great Eris Vanserra could apologize. Azriel restrained himself from another sarcastic comment, waving it off and muttering, “Forget it.”

When he approached the car, Eris pointed to the driver’s side for some reason.

“Am I your personal chauffeur?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow, pretending that the chance to drive a Ferrari for the second time didn’t excite him at all.

“No, I just don’t like driving, but you clearly enjoy it,” Eris shrugged.

“Observant,” Azriel said, but he got into the driver’s seat without further questions. To hell with Eris’s lawyerly habit of noticing all the details and then stating them outright; today he was driving the damn Ferrari.

While Azriel drove out of his apartment complex parking lot, Eris set up the built-in navigator, indicating the destination.

“So where are we going?” Azriel asked.

“Surprise,” Eris smirked, leaning his head back on the seat. “But I think you’ll like it.”

“You don’t know what I like,” Azriel said, mentally scolding himself. He had already agreed to this date, so why take everything he said so defensively?

“Yeah, that’s why I said ‘think,’” Eris snorted.

Azriel looked at the navigator; for now, the route led out of the city. Not missing the opportunity, he sped up, avoiding all the traffic on the more or less empty roads. Eris didn’t comment when he exceeded the speed limit, and either he didn’t care, or he would later send those fines directly to Azriel’s address, but right now, it didn’t matter because Azriel was enjoying the ride.

The trip passed in a kind of silence, broken only by the radio. Honestly, Azriel had no idea what to talk about with Eris. Mechanisms? Internal combustion engines? Idiot clients, since they both dealt with people daily? And why should he think about conversation topics when he was the one invited on the date?

Eris didn’t seem bothered by the silence at all; he occasionally got distracted by his phone, responding to some messages, making Azriel feel like his personal driver.

“Can you say something?” he said, trying not to sound too irritated.

Eris looked up at him, muttering something under his breath as he put his phone into his jacket’s inner pocket.

“Yeah, sorry, no work today, I’m all yours,” he said in his easy manner. A pause, as if thinking about what to talk about, before he added, “Do you like cars?”

Azriel couldn’t help but smirk. They both laughed at the question.

“Do you like courts?” Azriel countered.

“Not really,” Eris shook his head. “But I like winning in them if that says anything.”

“How unexpected.”

Eris smirked, and Azriel glanced at him as they stopped at a red light. He looked relaxed. Not that different from the arrogant jerk who had barged into his workshop a week ago, but something was different about Eris now. Some tangible lightness that was hard to ignore. Maybe...

No. No way, Azriel mentally forbade himself and his thoughts from going down that path. He didn’t need extra thoughts about Eris Vanserra, who already was present enough in his life in person, to also bother him mentally.

“Turn left here,” Eris reminded, apparently sensing that Azriel had drifted into thoughts. Cursing, he turned the wheel and took the necessary turn. “Almost there.”

Another two minutes and they indeed arrived. Azriel raised his eyebrows and then looked at Eris with an unspoken question, ‘Are you serious?’

“A car showroom,” he said dryly.

“Does that surprise you so much?” Eris smirked, getting out of the car. Azriel followed suit.

“Yeah, because first, the official opening is only the day after tomorrow. And second, it’s not a trivial place for a date.”

Eris shrugged, heading towards the massive building with a glass roof. Azriel walked with him, expecting some sarcastic comment in response.

"I invited you on a date in a non-trivial way too," Eris said, and Azriel wanted to roll his eyes. "However, this place is open. They're preparing for the motor show, closed previews, and other thematic stuff."

He sounded like someone who couldn’t be bothered with such details. And that was no surprise. If Azriel were a wealthy lawyer with his own firm and millions in his pocket, he wouldn’t delve into the specifics either. However, there was something about how Eris had chosen the place for their date.

"And here I thought we’d just go to some Michelin restaurant," Azriel joked. Eris chuckled.

"I don’t think you’d like it," he said. And damn, could he not sound like he genuinely thought about this and Azriel’s feelings? "Besides, I wasn’t sure you had a suitable suit to get us inside per the dress code. Though, I miscalculated the latter."

There he was. The bastard from last week in his workshop.

"Thanks, I was starting to doubt you had a kind twin brother who isn’t a complete jerk," Azriel said, trying not to think about the grin spreading across Eris’s annoyingly attractive face after his words.

"Didn’t want to disappoint you."

With that, they walked inside. The showroom wasn’t crowded, mostly young guys and girls with badges bustling around. A few people in suits who were inspecting the expensive cars with an air of importance.

All around the perimeter of the building stood, moved into position, and roared with their engines, sleek, stylish supercars. Well, not just supercars, of course: there were plenty of regular models too, but a lot of attention was given to flashy sports roadsters and speedsters.

Eris greeted an acquaintance who looked like a local worker. Azriel didn’t really pay attention to the conversation, instead saying a quick “I’ll take a look around,” as he wandered off to check out the cars.

Okay, maybe Eris did know where to take him. Maybe he liked it here. Maybe this date wasn’t as disastrous as Azriel had feared. But he wouldn’t say that out loud.

He felt Eris’s eyes on his back as he walked along the rows of cars. Nevertheless, for now, Azriel was more interested in examining the metal works of art before him.

When he turned back, he saw a young woman in a dark green dress that left little to the imagination, talking to Eris. She was pretty, smiling, clearly trying to engage him in conversation. Well, it wasn’t surprising – Eris was objectively attractive, and his presence at a closed preview was a clear sign of wealth. However, something inside irked Azriel because the girl was talking to what seemed like his date.

Azriel approached Eris from behind, catching himself almost putting his hand on his waist. What was wrong with him today?

“Hey,” he said in a dry tone to the girl, who seemed to get the hint but wasn’t quite ready to back off.

“Hey,” she replied, looking at Eris as if he should decide who would stay with him. “Actually, we were talking…”

“About how I’m with someone else,” Eris finished for her, hiding his indifference behind a polite smile. “Have a good evening.”

The girl quickly retreated, but Azriel noticed out of the corner of his eye that she had already found another visitor to flirt with.

“Good conversation?” he asked.

“Jealous?” Eris smirked, teasing. He turned to him so they were now standing face to face. And in Eris’s russet eyes, Azriel seemed to see a flicker of fire.

“No,” Azriel shook his head, mirroring the smirk. “But I remember someone promised they’d be mine tonight.”

“And I intend to keep my word.”

The same worker Eris had greeted earlier approached them. They exchanged pleasantries with Azriel, after which the guy gave them something like a tour of the place because, as Eris himself said, “I don’t understand anything here.”

By the end of the tour, they were given a chance to ride in a concept Subaru “performance” car in an open area, and after that, Azriel surrendered and admitted he hadn’t expected anything like this from Eris.

Of course, it was nothing like a regular date, or even just a date – but he had more fun from this kind of outing than if they had spent these hours in some stuffy restaurant over dinner, nervously trying to find a topic of conversation.

Damn, he was having fun. He genuinely enjoyed spending time here, at the car show, riding in the latest sports cars, while Eris grumbled that he didn’t feel any difference, which only forced Azriel to start explaining to him the conceptual differences between Japanese and Chinese sports cars, as if Eris would understand and grasp any of it. But even so, Eris listened to him, kept grumbling, but listened.

After Eris’s acquaintance left, saying he had shown them everything, and seemingly got the hint that it was time to go – Azriel wasn’t sure, but it seemed that almost subtle nod of Eris’s head was indeed a sign for that – they headed to the bar on the second floor of the building. The place looked like a typical hangout spot for millionaires who went for drinks after playing golf or playing billiards, but it was almost empty. Just a few people at the tables and the bartender.

“How do you rate my date planning skills?” Eris asked with a smug smile, taking a seat at the bar and ordering two glasses of whiskey. Azriel rolled his eyes, sitting next to him but couldn’t help but smile.

“So far, a solid eight,” he said.

“Just an eight? I’m offended,” Eris replied dramatically, sighing in exaggerated disappointment.

Azriel chuckled, taking a sip of the whiskey placed in front of him. He didn’t doubt that Eris had already ordered a personal driver who would come and take them home, so he didn’t have to worry about the issue of drunk driving.

He also had no doubt about how seamlessly Eris fit into the bar’s atmosphere. Not just because he was wearing a suit worth several thousand dollars, no, Eris looked natural in this setting. Natural among the rich and wealthy, he was one of them.

“Everything okay?” Eris asked.

“Yeah,” Azriel nodded, snapping out of his thoughts. And why did everything always come back to money and social status? “It’s just not often I drink whiskey that costs as much as my car.”

Eris snorted, saying something like “fair enough.”

“This is a good date,” Azriel decided to say, thinking it would be rude to brush it off with just a joke after all the positive emotions he had experienced this evening.

“Did you just give me a compliment?” Eris looked at him with mock surprise.

“Oh, shut up.”

“Oh, but I want to hear more nice words from you,” Eris continued. “This is a huge progress from ‘you jerk, Eris’ or ‘go to hell, Eris,’ which I’ve been hearing all week.”

“Do you have a kink for praise?” Azriel asked, raising an eyebrow.

“More like politeness, but who knows. I thought you tested everything in practice.”

Azriel snorted, Eris smirked and drank his whiskey. It was easy to talk to him. Azriel found himself thinking that he genuinely liked talking and even flirting with Eris. And that yes, he wasn’t a complete jerk, and he could be social.

And they talked. Quite a lot, as they managed to finish an entire bottle of whiskey, after which they debated whether they should order another one.

The evening ended with Eris’s driver taking them home. Azriel thought it was a good date. So good that for a second he thought that he would go on a second date too. tag list: @sizzlingstarlightsky @isnotwhatyourethinking @molcat07 @chairofchaos

[jesusinstilettos]

I honestly am not really sure why I’m on this app anymore. I joined to find some community in deconstructing religion and cPTSD. But people on here are so angry, don’t allow any nuance, and purposely misread everything you say in the worst possible way. Reading comprehension is truly trash. (as a deliberate choice. People just want reasons to be venomous to one another. So they purposely misread what you put and interpret it in the worst tone possible.) and it’s honestly just… weird behavior. Please talk to people irl more. This isn’t how communication works. I share a skill I learned in therapy that would help a lot of people and get responses like “idiot you think capitalism is the root of every issue ever” “wow condescending baby talk” “So you’re invalidating people who need medication to fix mental health problems” literally no???? What the fuck are yall talking about???????? This app is just “I like apples” “so you think everyone who likes oranges should die?” I know that’s the price you pay for posting online, you WILL get people disagreeing or being hateful and I’m okay with that. I’ve had 2 TikTok accounts with over 100k and 300k followers, I get it. But the behavior here in particular is so strange, toxic, and unproductive. And clearly a symptom of being so insanely online that you’ve forgotten how people talk irl.

I’m done ranting now. I just think tumblr is another example of what the internet does to your brain. So I’ll probably leave here too because it’s not good for me. It’s so hard going through religious deconstruction in the Bible Belt where there’s ZERO community to talk about it with. But I’ll just find it somewhere else that’s productive. You only get a little bit of time. Spend it on things that fill your cup :) and remember none of this actually matters