#UGHH IT'D BE SO ANGSTYY

[writermask-0807]

this is a personal speculation/headcannon of mine (it’s probably extremely ooc so i apologize in advance); but i feel like king baldwin iv would never approach his beloved or confess his love willingly. though he views this illness as a blessing from God, i feel like there’s some part of him that will not allow himself to love his s/o like any other *normal* lover. because there’s still that part of him that views himself as nothing but a battered body- carried only by weak tired bones and ruined skin and polluted blood, and you are far too precious to be burdened with his suffering. he loves you too much for that. so he loves you from afar, and contents himself at the sight of your smile, bright and laughing and innocent, his blue, blue eyes cloudy with longing. and he aches, oh, he aches. (and the worst part of this is maybe the fact that he knows it has nothing to do with his sickness this time.)