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saltedpeppermintmocha · 2 months ago

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MONSTERS DON'T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS - 1/?

-UFSans x Reader

Summary: Moving across the country and starting your life anew on the basis of a rumour may not be the smartest thing you've ever done...but, well, you're here.

If only you could stop running into that asshole skeleton, life would be pretty good.

Tags: underfell au, bara Sans, afab reader, enemies to lovers, fluff, eventual romance, eventual smut, slow burn, swearing, alcohol, smoking, past abuse, plot

Notes: I figured I might as well play around with sharing this one on tumblr too! Don't know if it'll get any interest here (I've never posted a fic on tumblr) but thats okay either way. This is currently on Ao3 with 10 chapters and 75k words, so its a long one folks.

Chapter 1: Monster Don't Do Background Checks

The building looms above you, and you wonder (not for the first time) if you are making a mistake.

Okay. You take in a deep breath and count to ten. One shot at this. I got this.

Fake it till you make it, right?

Pushing open the surprisingly heavy glass door, you walk in. It takes you a few moments to adjust to the sudden LED-lighted lobby. The first thing that catches your eye -and how could it not - is the giant fountain in the middle of the room. It’s huge, with water spraying out in all directions. A robotic statue stands tall in the middle, water spraying from each of its four arms. An attention-grabber, for sure.

Despite its opulence, the lobby itself is quiet. A few monsters litter about, and it takes you a concentrated effort not to stare. Shit. They are huge . Instead, you focus your eyes on the reception desk in the far left corner and start towards it, ignoring the feeling of multiple pairs of eyes watching your every moment.

There is nobody behind the desk, which feels a bit odd. You check your phone, confirming the time. It’s correct. Maybe you’re a little early, but that's a good thing…right? Shit. Maybe it’s not for monsters. Who knows. Standing on your tiptoes, you lean slightly against the counter in an attempt to see around it. Nothing. Huh.

For a moment you can’t help but flounder, feeling awkward as more monsters in the lobby turn to face you. Then your eyes catch on something shiny further down the counter. A reception bell. Oh. Do you need to ring it?

You slam your hand down on it, only after the chime starts considering that maybe you should have paused a second before just going forward. In some places, ringing the bell could be considered rude, right? Definitely not the impression you’re trying to give. But just waiting here seems dumb too. You’d risk losing your nerve.

And well, that’s just not an option. This is your option. This is your fresh start.

“Welcome to MTT Resort! Ebott’s biggest apartment-building-turned hotel!”

Fuck! You startle harshly at the voice, turning on your heel to find the speaker. It comes in the form of a short…almost star-shaped monster suddenly appearing beside you. Where the hell did you come from?! The monster is red and blue colour-blocked, and has a diamond shaped head. You don’t really know what to think of it, though…you’re pretty sure that each point on its body is sharp enough to cause real damage. It puts you on edge, despite its smiling face.

“Oh. A human guest…” Its head spins completely around. Woah. Weird. “Nice! MTT resort prides itself on catering to all kinds of guests!”

“Oh, uh, thanks.” You smile awkwardly. “I’m not a guest though. I’m here for the…interview?”

The monster’s head spins around again. “Oh! Well, isn’t that unexpected!” A pause. “But MTT resort prides itself on its ability to handle the unexpected!”

Uh… Unsure as to how to respond to that, you just smile.

The star-shaped monster points its arm(?) at a door not far from the reception desk. “Go through that door! The supervisor will see you in her office.”

“Thanks!” Your smile becomes a bit more sincere. The monster cartwheels away, starting up a conversation with a new monster walking into the lobby. It’s the same spiel it started with you. You only pay the amusing scene a moment of attention, before turning away and heading towards the door.

The door opens directly to an office. A high-pitched voice rings out immediately. “What do you want?”

Oh. That’s…that’s a hand. An actual hand. Giant and blue, with very sharp red nails. The monster currently sits behind a large desk, the giant fingers folded into a fist.

“H-hi!” You stammer. Shit. Pull yourself together. You plaster on a smile and introduce yourself. “I’m here for the job interview.”

The giant hand moves into a ‘three’ position. “Oh. You’re a human.” How is it even speaking? There’s no mouth??

Once its words register over your internal dialogue, a feeling of dread starts to bubble in your stomach. “Is that…a problem?”

The hand moves to a ‘one’ position. For a long moment, there is no response. You feel your nerves and stress grow, clawing up your throat. Your chest feels weird, a tugging motion you can’t fully place.

Then, an answer. “No. Just unexpected. We don’t get many humans here.” A pause. “You can call me Chandace.”

Oh. Alright then. You expected that. “It’s nice to meet you, Chandace.”

A snort (how?!) “Well, you’re already more polite than the shit employeesI have already. Sit down. Let's get this going.”

With that, the interview starts immediately. It’s short, with mostly questions you had expected and prepared to be asked. A few are…oddly specific, but nothing you can’t handle. You can tell that Chandace is near the end of the questions -and are feeling confident- when she hits you with the big one.

“Do you have any experience working with monsters?”

“No.” You admit. “I just moved here, but I’m very open-minded and ready to learn!”

“Well, you’re definitely crazy enough to even try.” Chandace hums, moving again into a ‘three’ position.“We require all staff to live on-site. Is that a problem?”

“Live…on site?”

“Yes, at the resort.” She says, words slow. “Part of your pay will go directly towards your room, of course. But employees get a discount.”

That seems…highly problematic. Definitely something that wouldn’t fly outside of Ebott. Red flags pop up in your mind from all directions. But…well…that does actually solve your other big problem of living out of your car.

“That works for me.” You say. “I do have a car. Do you have parking?”

“Yes.“ Chandace says. “Most monsters don't have cars, so I can sell you a spot. Full-price.” Fucking hell. How much of your pay is going to go towards just living at the resort?! It's frustrating in principle, but not like you have many other options.

Wait. Most monsters don't have cars? But…

“What about those cars in the parking lot?” You can’t help but ask. The parking lot outside the resort was practically full.

“Mettatons, mostly.” She says. “Status symbols.”

Huh? You think back on the cars you walked by. Sure, they were pretty nice…but not exactly something you’d consider a ‘status symbol’. Still, you nod. “Okay.”

A long silence, then. “I’ll get started on the paperwork.”

You straighten up, eyes widening. “Does that mean…I got the job?!”

“Don’t be stupid.” Chandace stands up. “Arrive on time, do your job, don’t pull any human shit, and we’ll have no problem.” She starts towards the door. “I’ll be back with the forms.”

The door closes behind you as Chandace walks out. Alone in the office, it takes you a moment for your mind to truly click.

…I got the job.

…

I did it…holy shit. I actually did it! A triumphant grin forms on your face, and you lean back into the chair. Relief quickly overwhelms any sense of victory you feel. You have a job, and -surprisingly- a place to sleep.

So, that’s how you became the first human employee at a monster-owned business.

Fucking cool.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The elevator makes a freaky sound as you go up, enough to make you question if it might be best to take the stares from now on. At least you’re only on the third floor, so the ride isn’t too long.

The doors open to a rather lackluster hallway. Sure, there may be nothing overtly wrong with the hallway, but it looks like any other hotel hallway you’ve ever been in. It contrasts so heavily with the glitz and glam of the outside of the building and the lobby that it gives you pause.

Walking down the hall, you quickly find your room. Sliding the keycard into the slot, the door unlocks. You push it open with your hip, pulling your suitcase behind you. Once inside, you lock the door and turn on the lights.

Your room itself is much like the hallway, upsettingly normal; though, you are not sure exactly what you expected. Maybe something more ‘monster-like’? Whatever that might mean. Still, the room has pretty much anything you could need: a bed (large), a television (old and boxy), a bathroom (no tub, damn), a table and chair and storage. The only thing missing is a kitchen, but Chandace had already explained earlier that the employees use a full communal kitchen.

It feels sort of like being in a dorm. Hm. Again, you can’t exactly complain.

After haphazardly putting away your personal items and checking out your view (literally just the side of the building next door), you decide to find this communal kitchen. Double checking that you have your keycard with you, you walk out of your room and down the hall.

It doesn’t take long to find what you’re sure is it, a large open door at the end of the hall. You turn into the room…

…and immediately crash into someone.

“Shit!” You grumble, stepping backwards and rubbing your hurt nose. Whatever you walked into was soft, but didn’t move an inch.

“Watch your fucking step.” A male voice. You look up. Oh. It’s…a cat? Well, a cat monster. Huh. This is actually the first monster that I can somewhat recognize. The cat narrows his eyes at you. “You’re new.” He says, ears folding back onto his head. “Where are you working?”

You introduce yourself, feeling a bit on edge as his stare only grows in intensity. “I’m the new receptionist.”

At your words, his shoulders drop. “Hm. Fine then.” A pause. “Just don’t take from my tips.”

“Uh, of course not?” You respond quickly, confused. “I guess…you work here too, then?”

“Everyone on this floor works at this shithole.” The cat deadpans. You open your mouth to ask another question, but a paw on your shoulder gently pushes you aside. Before you can say anything, the cat monster walks past you.

Well, fuck me then.

You roll your eyes, and head into the kitchen. It’s empty now, but clean at least. That’s good. There’s also a small seating area with two couches, and a large window. Walking over, you check out the view. It’s a bit better, showing the park across the street. It’s kind of interesting to people-watch. Uh. Monster-watch?

Bzzt

Your phone vibrates in your pocket. Not a call, a text. Probably Chandace with your schedule. Shit. You can’t believe you are actually going to work at MTT resort! A monster hotel. What the fuck is your life?

Pulling out your phone, you open the message and read it. Uh. You re-read it. And again. That…can’t be right….right?

[Chandace]: Your first shift is tomorrow. Be downstairs at 4:30 a.m.

Four thirty?! You groan at the text, immediately turning around to head back. If you have to be up that early, you have no choice but to start winding down now.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Winding-down’ turns out to be completely impossible. You try, oh how you try, but everything in you thrums in excitement and anticipation. How the hell can you ‘wind down’ when you’re actually here? Living in MTT Resort? When everything you’ve been working towards for the last few months has actually happened…and worked?

I’m here.

I’m actually here.

A mantra you don’t think you’ll stop repeating for a while. Grabbing a pillow, you place it over your face to muffle the excited sound that escapes you. It had been a long, terrifying process, but it actually fucking worked! You think of your day, of how terrified and anxious you had been, of how you spent at least an hour in the MTT Resort parking lot before being able to calm yourself enough to walk in.

A bit ridiculous, sure, but it’s not like you’re normally like this. God, if you were, you don’t think any of this would have been possible. It was pretty much your life on the line after all. You think you can give yourself a bit of a break.

Monsters don’t do background checks; the rumor that had you uproot your entire life and move to a completely foreign environment. There hadn’t been a way to corroborate the rumor -nothing online about the subject at all- so the risk had been huge. I guess I was just desperate enough to try anything. At least it turned out to be true. You’re not entirely sure what you would have done if things hadn’t panned out. There was no backup plan.

When you first heard the rumor, you had assumed you would have to move to Ebott itself. That…was overwhelming. The thought of that monster metropolis at the foot of the mountain felt so alien to you. Apparently it had been a small farming town before the Emergence, but the humans that previously lived there left quickly after the monsters showed up. Now, ruled by the monster monarchy, it had exploded into the bustling place it is now.

The main problem with moving to Ebott was the tension between monsters and humans in the area. It’s a bit better now…but not long ago there were many incidents in the news. Humans would go to the city and cause trouble; sometimes smaller things like vandalism or robbery, and other times actively looking to hurt someone. A dumb idea, really. It never really worked out well for the humans that tried. Not only are monsters normally much stronger than us, but they actually are legally allowed a wide-range of self-defense for themselves and their territory.

The law had to catch up quickly after the Emergence. Many people were not happy at the monster's existence, and would travel to the town to demand them ‘return to the mountain’. The first time a human was seriously hurt, it was huge. The man had gone to Ebott and attacked what they thought was a weak monster, only to get their ass handed to them. It went to court, and the entire world watched as it was self-defense. It was the first time in a while that you actually felt a bit proud of your species. The precedent continues to stand, dissuading many would-be attackers and vandals. Unfortunately, despite the win, things remain tense between the two species, especially in Ebott.

So, no, the idea of moving there seemed impossible. Not with your limitations. But in your research, you found another possibility. A city, two hours or so away from Ebott, where enough monsters had branched out to that they formed their own area colloquially called ‘Monstertown. Monster owned businesses were popping up quickly, including a new branch of the famous MTT Resort. From what you read, the big migration of monsters had been a joint decision between the government and the monarchy to improve Monster-Human relations. Unfortunately, it had ended up mostly just dividing the city. Like Ebott -now, anyways- there are rarely any incidents, but only a few brave humans ever enter Monstertown.

Knowing that, the looks you got all day are neither surprising or insulting. Monsters look at you in surprise and confusion more than anything. It’s what you can expect when you move specifically to the monster side of the city. Sure, maybe you’d have an easier time blending in on the human side of town but…well…there’s a reason you applied specifically to a monster-owned business.

It’s worked out for you though. A place like this, where monsters are separate but still receptive to humans, is perfect for you.

Your phone vibrates on the bed, pulling you from your thoughts. You pull the pillow from your face and grab your phone. A new text is up on the screen.

[Mark]: Where r u?

Frowning, you swipe to clear your screen and turn it face down. You push away the new thoughts trying to crawl up your mind, anxieties you thought you left miles ago. No, now is not the time to reflect on the past.

You are here. This is your future.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t get much sleep at all, anticipation for your first day thrumming heavily in your veins. Eventually you do pass out, but it feels like you only sleep for maybe twenty minutes before your alarm starts going off.

Peeling yourself out of bed, you get ready and head on down to the main floor. Chandace hadn’t mentioned a uniform -luckily- so you were dressed in your best ‘business casual’ type outfit. You take advantage of the large elevator mirror to ensure you look good and put-together from all angles before the doors open to the lobby.

It’s pretty much empty, which you could expect at this hour. The only two occupants are the hand monster and the star-monster, chatting at the reception desk.

“Good morning!” You smile, walking over.

Chandace turns towards you, fingers in a ‘four’ position. “You look presentable. Good.”

“Uh, thanks.” You respond. The silence grows a bit too long. “So…how can I start?”

“I will train you today.” Chandace says. “Tomorrow you will be on your own, so listen well.”

“You will do fine.” The star monster says. “MTT resort prides itself on a robust training program!”

…

‘Robust’ my ass.

If there is an actual training program, Chandace doesn’t follow it. All she does is show you the absolute basics of working the reception desk. The customer service part of it comes easily, but the software is almost alien to you. It takes you a bit to understand how to navigate it. Still, you feel like you’re catching on pretty well by the time the first guest arrives.

You look up, catching eyes with a dog monster. “Good morning!” You give your customer service smile. “Are you checking in?”

The dog looks completely surprised. “You smell like…a human.”

You blink. “Well, good. I am a human.”

The silence goes long.

“Can I help you check in?” You repeat. Your voice seems to shake the dog monster out of it.

“Okay.”

The rest of your interactions go similarly. No matter their size or personality, they all have the same reaction to seeing you: complete shock. It’s kinda funny, but you have a feeling it will get old fast. There’s only so many times you can be told your own species before it gets too repetitive.

Chandace leaves you on your own after the first guest, telling you to only bug her if it's urgent. It feels a bit like a compliment, that she thinks you’re good enough to be left alone. But also…it's kinda worrying to be the only one here on your first day.

It’s just after noon when your stomach moves from a light rumble to an intense need, and the lack of caffeine -you now know you’ll have to bring your own- and food starts to negatively affect your attitude. When you finally get a chance, you head towards the supervisor's room.

“Hi Chandace!” You peek in. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

“What do you want?” She responds, fingers in a ‘one’ position. You have a feeling she isn’t actually looking up at you.

“Just, uh, wondering when I should go on break.” You say. “It’s pretty quiet, I think now might be a good time?”

“A break?” That gets her to look up. “What are you talking about?”

…

“Uh…” You start, not really sure how you’re going to handle this. Why is she confused? “My break. You know…the time I get to myself…that I don’t have to work?”

“You don’t get a ‘break’.”

That's…not possible. Your shift is over eight hours. Do monsters not get breaks?! For a moment you panic, wondering how you’re going to manage this. Shit, you need this job. But can you work that long without a single break?! “But..I’m legally entitled to it.”

“What?!” Chandace’s fingers go down into a fist. “Is this a human thing??”

“Yeah.” You nod.“It’s thirty minutes for anything over eight hours.”

“Are you serious?!” She grumbles. “That’s ridiculous! I don’t know how you humans manage to get shit done like this.” A pause. “Anything else you’re ‘entitled’ to?”

Well, yes, actually. But it doesn’t feel like a good time to bring any of that up. Not on your first day. Not when she already seems so annoyed. “Just a thirty for today.”

“I’m not paying you to not work.”

You respond quickly. “It’s unpaid!”

“Hm.” She looks down. “I’m going to look into this. You better not be lying.”

“I’m not!” You insist.

“Fine. Take it. I’ll do your job too.” Her fingers move dismissively. “Just be back on time.”

“Okay. Uh, thanks.” You leave it there, not wanting to upset her any more, and leave the office.

After giving the reception and lobby area a quick check -no potential guests- you head out into the lobby with a destination in mind : MTT Burger Emporium. The glittery gold sign has been tantalizing you all morning. You figure that soon, the idea of staying inside the resort for your break and eating resort food will sound awful, but for now it’s all you need.

You walk into the emporium and look around. It looks just like any other fast-food restaurant, with a bit of extra pizzazz. The walls are decorated with various scenes from Mettaton’s movies and tv shows. Not that you’ve seen more than a few minutes of any. Hm. You look away and make your way to the counter.

Oh.

The cat monster from before stands behind the counter. You smile. “Hi again!” Squinting at the small nametag on his apron, you finally have a name to put with the face: BP.

BP’s eyebrows raise. “Quitting already?” He asks.

“What? No.” Your smile fades. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought you were working this morning.” He says. “I saw you on my way in.”

“I am.” You say, your voice taking on a confused tone as well. “I started at 4:30 this morning.”

That only confuses him more. “So…why are you here if you’re not quitting?”

Suddenly the pieces connect. Ah, I see. “Oh, I’m on break.”

“On…break?” His head tilts to the side a bit.

You explain again what a break is, going into a bit more detail this time. The confusion on the monsters face lessens as you talk. When you finish, he chuckles. “Really? Shit. Chandace is probably pissed.”

“Seemed it.” You sigh. “Do you guys really work the entire shift without a break?”

BP shrugs. “Normal to us, I guess.”

“They’re so long though…I don’t know how you do it.” You respond, glancing up towards the clock. Shit. You’re running out of time. “Anyways, what’s good here?”

The break feels too short, and you only finish half of your burger by the time you have to go back to the reception area. A bit early, but it pays off as Chandace comes out at exactly thirty minutes. She’s a bit hard to read…but you think she’s surprised that you are back on time.

“MTT Resort will comply with your human laws.” She says. “You’ll get a thirty minute break, unpaid.”

“Sounds good to me.” You smile.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Weeks Later

Walking out of MTT Resort, you throw your hands in the air for a full-body stretch. Your bones pop, and you let out a relieved sigh. Shit, that feels amazing. The air also feels great after that long-ass shift. You started long before the sun came up, and it’s already sunset. The end of your two weeks of ‘nonstop orientation’ hell is done. Fuck. Finally, tomorrow, you have a day off. You’re completely exhausted and want nothing more than to pass out in bed. But…you have things to do.

Looking down at your phone, you program the MonsterMart into your GPS and let it lead the way. Walking down the street, you can’t help but feel a bit like an animal in the zoo. Humans don’t normally come to this side of town, so you get a lot of looks. It doesn’t normally bother you much, but today it's getting under your skin quite a bit.

Instead of paying attention to the stares and allowing your annoyance to grow, you spend your walk double checking the grocery list on your phone. It’s not long, just a few items so that you’re no longer spending money at the MTT Burger Emporium. As much as you actually enjoy talking to the snarky cat monster there, the food is heavy and your wallet is really starting to hurt. The resort pays weekly, but with a good portion of your paycheck going towards your room and parking…there isn’t much left over. Definitely not enough to be paying for food each day.

So, grocery shopping it is. You had briefly considered going to the human side of town, but your car is low on gas, and really, getting the lay of the land is probably the best bet. It feels like you haven’t left the resort at all in the past month. If you really plan to live here for a while, you’ll need to know more than one building. Sure, maybe it would be better to explore Monstertown in a better mood, but you don’t really have any other options. Your last paycheck is already almost gone, you can’t afford another Burger Emporium meal and groceries. As it is, you can almost feel the exhaustion radiating out from you. You don’t want to do this at all. If you had any choice, you wouldn’t be.

The MonsterMart turns out to be a small store, with shelves a bit more bare than you would have liked. Still, you manage to find most of what you’re looking for. The last thing you’re having trouble finding is mustard.

It’s frustrating, you just want to go home. You don’t want to be searching down every fucking isle for condiments. Eventually you do find them, in the back of a seemingly unrelated section. Finally! There’s only one bottle of mustard left, sitting amongst an abundance of other condiments. Weird.

With a small frown, you grab it. It’s a monster brand, you can tell by the overly simple ‘Mustard’ label that human brands don’t do. Interested, you turn it over to see the ingredients. What kind of mustard is this? You are in the middle of trying to determine what one of the ingredients is when the bottle just disappears from your hand.

…

What?!

You look around, eyes immediately locking on a very large monster standing only a foot or so away. How you didn’t notice his approach is a terrifying mystery. You should have noticed something that big approach you. The monster himself is…well, also kinda terrifying. A skeleton stands before you, tall and broad. His heavy-set form is covered by a black, fur-lined jacket over a dark red top.

Yeah, he’s pretty freaky. You should be scared, right? Even if this was a human, it's not a good situation. Cornered at the end of an isle, alone with a being as big, obviously strong and stealthy as this monster is. Every instinct should be screaming. Right?

But fear never comes. No, as your eyes zero in on the bottle of mustard in those huge hands, it’s not fear that overcomes you, but annoyance.

“Did you just…?” You ask.

Crimson eye lights turn to look at you. “did I just what?” He says, voice deep and gravelly.

“You-you took that from me.” You say, surprise making you stammer. “I was literally just holding that!”

He snorts. “ya snooze ya lose.”

…What?

You blink slowly at the rude response, feeling that annoyance quickly escalating in your body to full-on anger. Really? Is this monster really going to try to steal your fucking mustard?!

Maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't been at the end of a long and stressful two weeks, you’d just let it go. It’s just mustard. Maybe he doesn’t understand basic social etiquette. Maybe he doesn’t realize he’s being rude. Maybe he needs it more than you.

As it is, none of that matters. You don’t have a bone of patience left in your body.

“What the fuck?!” You turn to face him fully, holding out a hand. “Give it back!”

The skeleton’s eye sockets widen slightly, before narrowing. He grins, showing off sharp teeth. “or what? ya gonna take it from me?”

You try. Fuck, do you try. Without thinking, you lunge forward at the monster, hands open and ready to claw the bottle back from him.

The skeleton lets out a surprised sound, lifts the hand holding the mustard higher, and that’s it. You just can’t reach that. Condiment fully out of reach, you collide painfully with his body. The force is apparently not enough to move him. You practically bounce off hard bones and onto your ass on the tiled ground.

“Ow, fuck.” You grumble, any physical pain you might have felt being vastly outweighed by the sheer embarrassment that quickly fills your body. What the hell did I just do?! You can already feel the heat growing in your face. It definitely doesn’t help that the monster just stares down at you, a look of pure amusement on his face. Shit.

As quick as possible, you scramble back into a standing position and try to fix him with the strongest glare you still have in you. Getting knocked down like that definitely puts a hose to your fire, but you can still try to hold onto as much of your dignity as possible. The glare doesn’t seem to do anything but amuse the skeleton further, if the widening grin on his face says anything.

“yer not gonna win, sweetcheeks.” He says, bringing his arm back down. As you watch, he starts tossing and catching the bottle in his hand. Taunting you. Asshole.

The demeaning nickname fulfills its purpose of another dagger into your tattered pride. “Fuck you.” You spit out, the only response you can even think of.

Those red eyes look you up and down, intense in a familiar way that immediately puts you back on guard. You’ve seen that look before. Not on a monster, but still. Suddenly, you have a strong feeling that you know the type of thing he’s going to respond with. You practically handed the opportunity to that smug face monster. As said monster opens his mouth, you brace yourself for whatever rude innuendo he’s about to say.

Bzzt. Bzzt.

A phone vibrates, loud enough that you can hear it. The skeleton immediately freezes, free hand going to his pocket. He brings out a phone and holds it to…well…where an ear would be on a human.

“sup.” He says casually. A loud voice comes through the phone that you can’t understand.

The skeleton rolls his eyes. “patrollin’”

The voice on the other end gets louder, somehow. The skeleton winces, pulling the phone slightly away from his skull. “fine.”

Those intense eyes don’t leave you as he speaks into the phone. Unfortunate, as you definitely would have taken the opportunity to try for the mustard again if he got distracted. Anything to restore your dignity even a little bit.

“Didn’t anyone teach you not to steal?” You ask, the moment the skeleton ends his call.

“didn’t anyone teach ya not to mess with someone stronger than ya?” He responds, but he seems a bit distracted now. “well, this has been fun.” He continues. “but I gotta go.” With that, the skeleton turns and walks away. He casually tosses your mustard in the air a bit higher, definitely taunting you.

Unable to do anything else, you flip him off behind his back, glaring at him until he’s out of sight.

Grumbling to yourself, you finally admit defeat. Turning to the other condiments, you try to figure out any sort of substitute for your groceries. It takes you a bit, but you manage to figure it out. The whole skeleton situation puts you in an even worse mood, but the monster cashier doesn’t seem to even notice. The entire interaction is done with as little words as possible, and soon you’re headed back to the resort.

You keep to yourself, quickly heading towards the elevator and up to your room. You stuff what you can in the minifridge in your room and collapse angrily on your bed.

“Fucking skeleton asshole.” You whisper into your pillow.

I hope I never see that fucking smug face again.

[Next Chapter]

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