#Tumblr please stop fkn everything up

[mousydentist]

KPTS fics under 10k that changed my brain chemistry

PART 1: KimChay

Inspired by @the-cookie-of-doom making a fic rec list, cause i was like hey! i like fics too! so here's a bunch of <10k word fics that altered the course of my life. i'm gonna do a few parts, so this first one is just kimchay. i tried to tag all the authors on tumblr but there was a couple i was unsure of so please lmk if they have an account for me to tag! (or if i fucked up any of the links cause you know tumblr was fighting me) <3 without further ado, and in no particular order:

Your last lie by saturnscoded @saturnscode (8182 words)

Not Rated. Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Summary:

In which Porchay's boyfriend cheats on him with Kimhan and he decides to take revenge. Or Things get out of control and Chay doesn't know how to stop.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu- this fic oh my god i love this fic. GO READ THIS FIC RIGHT NOW. yknow when people are like "would you rather have a fic with amazing plot or amazing writing" GUESS WHAT BESTIE THIS ONES BOTH. GO READ IT.

Ringing Endorsements by bisexualbard @bisexualbard-writes (2556 words)

Rated G. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Kim is not impulsive. Kim is a planner, a plotter, a researcher, and generally considers all angles of an action before he makes a move. Chay has always been the exception to his rules though, which is why he’s not even surprised at himself when he walks out of the jewelry shop with an engagement ring barely a month after they’ve reconciled. The only problem is, he doesn't stop at just one.

i have shed so many tears to this fic. it hits the sappy romantic in me right in the fkn feels GOD it just hurts so good ITS NOT EVEN SAD it's just so good it makes me cry 😭😭😭

podfic available by AirgiPodSLV (AirgiodSLV) @airgiodslv!!! welcome to tumblr fdjsjd

heaven is a place (here, on your floor) by booksnchocolate @booksnchocolate (7020 words)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

They're going to have sex. Eventually. They're going to take their clothes off and Chay is going to explore all of Kim's glorious, glorious body with his hands and mouth and – whew, he's going to need a cold shower. There's just one problem. It’s not a big deal, at first.

oh boy. what do i even say about this fic. i think about this fic a lot. like a LOT. it's so incredibly moving and emotional and ugh. just. perfect. no notes. i've cried at this and if i read it again right now i would cry again

Kim's Magic Pussy by imdeadlily @imdeadlily (8096 words)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Kim wakes up and finds his dick is gone. MIA. Vanished. Displaced. Chay has no issues with this.

i'm a die-hard imdeadlily fan. i highly highly recommend everything they've written and this fic, THIS FIC. ITS SOOOO. just. go read it. you have to experience it yourself.

rainbow hanging over your head by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye (4174 words)

Rated T. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Chay is crushing hard on Kim. That's the only reason it takes him awhile to realize kim's brothers are being weird.

this fic is the warm and fuzzy feeling you get when it's winter and you take a big blanket that like 10 times your size and you cuddle with your dog. that's this fic. i love this fic more than at least 90% of all things.

Pillow Talk by Atlas (xx_atlas_xx) @xxatlasxx (1427 words)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Kim finds some time to himself while on tour as Wik, but gets interrupted by a phone call.

FOLLOWING THE TRANS KIM THEME WITH THIS MASTERPIECE. ive screamed all up in atlas' dms ab this fic and there is a REASON it was my most re-read fic of last year. sweet little trans!kim smut that i adore

drape myself with floral light by fern_tdvuh @fern-tdvuh (2080 words)

Rated T. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

"Kim feels like a sunflower – he can't resist basking in Chay's light." How Kim and Chay recognize their love for each other via tattoos, and then share it with the world.

this fiiiIIIIIIIIIIIC GODDDDDDDD. i swoon. i SWOOOOOON over this fic. i simply do not even have the words. this fic hurts my bones, hurts down to my soul. so fucking good. 10/10

Do You Believe in Magic? by disast3rtransp0rt @disast3rtransp0rt (3407 words)

Rated T. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Deadpool continues to breeze past the entire situation, as he usually does when he’s in ‘trouble’. In fact, ‘Pool starts flirting even earlier into their banter than usual. “Did you hear the part where we’re soulmates, Spidey?” “I actively ignored that bit, actually,” Chay outright lies. Like a lying liar whose spandex is on fire. One hand is still on his hip, and he uses the other to gesture between the two of them. “What if we’re platonic soulmates?” “That’s not how the spell works,” Sabrina the Pain in Chay’s Ass speaks up. “We were hoping to summon Death, but–”

THIS FIC EEEEEEEE oh my god this was just so cute my heart simply could not take it. i read this after like, just, such an awful terrible day and it made me smile and god i love it. very special place in my heart for this fic.

i see rain but maybe they're all tears for you by OdeToFics @thestrangeillusion (5459 words)

Rated E. Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Summary:

Chay slumps back down onto the couch, picking up his controller where he'd abandoned it when there was a knock at his door. "Take your clothes off and then come here," he commands with a steady voice without even looking in Kim's direction. When his words are only greeted with silence from where Kim is still standing next to the door he'd just locked, Chay turns around to look at him and raises a challenging eyebrow at him. "W-what?" Kim stutters out and Chay feels a rush of satisfaction in making the always cool and collected Kim Theerapanyakun finally lose his resolve for once. "You said 'anything', did you not?" Chay asks coldly. ~~ Or: Chay wants Kim to be as vulnerable with him as he had always made himself for Kim. He wants to have some control over Kim. He realises too late that he's in way over his head.

OOF this fic hurts so good. post canon kim having emotions, goodness gracious it HITS DIFFERENT. SAD ANGST PORN MY BELOVED. SMANGST IF YOU WILL

The Art of Persuasion by Zoiseaunoir (9226 words)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Porchay really wants to top. Kim needs a little persuasion. ... or does he?

!!!!!! some top tier kimchay communication porn. i read this fic like seven times in the week i first discovered it AND YOU SHOULD TOO

Take Your Time (I Promise Not to Run) by WildelyDawn @wildelydawn (3637 words)

Rated E. Rape/Non-con. Summary:

“Somnophilia,” Kim reads out loud. “A sexual interest in engaging in sexual activity with a sleeping person.” Chay hadn’t said no to any of his desires so far. But this is different. This is taking without asking. It’s wrong. (Or: Kim discovers somnophilia and struggles to keep his desires to himself. Chay's there to guide him through it.)

fOOkin hell this fic, this whole series actually, actually actually everything by dawn but i digress. just like, jaw-dropping plot, beautifully written, and smutty on top of it?? just 10/10 fic overall, absolutely outstanding

podfic available by Princess_Moonlight!!!

paying the price by IsleofSolitude @emberfaye (4133 words, ongoing)

Rated M. Creator chose not to use archive warnings. Summary:

Secure with the knowledge that Kim won’t leave him again, Chay unblocked Kim and pressed the call button. (Alternatively, Chay fucks around and finds out. All magic comes with a price.)

:*) bro. this fic took my emotions and put them in a blender. the first chapter was jaw dropping and had me hooked, and the second chapter picked my jaw off the ground and stapled it back on with no novocain. my heart huuuuurts thinking about this fic /pos

I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All by Sweet_William @sweet-william-writes (3108 words)

Rated E. Graphic Violence, Rape/Non-con. Summary:

Chay starts having graphic dreams where Kim attacks him. When he is faced with a real-life volatile Kim killing men in Hum Bar to protect him, he realises they were never nightmares. They were wet dreams. And now he's going to make those dreams a reality, whether Kim wants it or not.

yOWza bonowza this fic is a doozy /pos. author's note says "Because we need more awful kimchay fics <3" and sir you delivered!!!!!! spectacular and gasp-worthy, i couldn't stop thinking about it for like four days after reading it

Technicality by TheCookieOfDoom @the-cookie-of-doom (9136 words, ongoing)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

Kim is an OnlyFans model. Despite taking (literal) monster dildos up his ass on the regular, he is still, technically, a virgin.

now this one is just technically (ha) less than 10k, its 9k and ongoing but goddamnit im counting it because loooOORDD. this has almost all of my favorite tropes wrapped up in 9k of excellent writing and GOD it makes me feral like actually fr feral

K's Puppy Boy by Maenecoon @maenecoon (9944 words, ongoing)

Rated E. No Archive Warnings. Summary:

To be in K’s position, to garner the attention of people who'd pay to see him do more and go further into the depths of depravity. To feel wanted and needed and pleasured all while earning a bit of pocket money. It sounds like a dream. And so Chay's here now, attempting a stream of his own. ー Or, Chay stumbles upon the prettiest camboy. Things go downhill from there.

OK THIS ONES ALSO JUST BARELY 10K BUT LISTEN. holy F LISTEN TO ME. go read this right now. this shit has me blushing and kicking my feet and chewing my arm off and SCREAMING OUT LOUD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT god GOD ITS SO. ok yeah go read it.

[daengtokki]

Your story is like the first one I’ve been so deeply captivated by when it comes to serial killer shit, like I can’t explain it. Sure I’ve read yandares and silly ghost face skz story’s, but this one made me feel…disgusted? Like I’ve never had a fictional story about skz make me feel so grossed out. I don’t want you to take it as a negative thing, and if you do i apologize 🩷

I’ve read sooooo many fics through three years and I was a little bit skeptical when I first read the “serial killer! Seungmin” but I’m glad I kept reading cause I’m so excited for the next part.

What I meant by the “it grossed me out” part, is the scene where he killed the man? I don’t know why but I dead ass almost threw up, might be cause I’m sick and the only thing I’ve been consuming are medications. But holy fuck dude, I had to step away😭

Also!! I got so, frustrated? And confused? When she DIDNT LEAVE THE COUNTRY!? A MAN JUST KILLED YOU FOR LIKE TWO MINUTES AND YOURE OVER HERE KISSING HIS LIPS AND WHAT NOT.

But I think that’s what makes a story good! The minute a fic I’m reading is making me feel some kind of emotions, better bet I’m reading until the fkn end.

Anyway, pardon my rant, and again I really hope you don’t take it as offensive, but if you do I’d totally get it tbh.

Stay safe and healthy! Lots of love🩷🌺

Sorry I took so long responding, but I really had to gather my thoughts for this one. Apologies for it being so long and for me basically taking an opportunity to unload.

All of the "negative" parts popped out because I was so tired and out of it. And I was like “oh no please don’t hate please don’t hate the story” 😭 ㅋㅋ ㅋ I'm out of it today, too, so hopefully I type this up properly.

But I don’t take your comments negatively! My job as a writer is to make you feel all of the emotions my characters are dealing with.

So thank you for taking the time to write all of this out! Seriously. I'm a little floored anyone (this goes for everyone who has sent a message or left a long comment about the fic) has been reading thoughtfully enough to catch everything l've been putting into the story. We’ll be getting more into readers fucked up head very soon, since you mentioned that!

I’m glad these not so pretty parts have gotten a reaction out of you, because I’ll take that as me writing the scenes well! That’s very important to me as a writer, and as someone who has always taken writing seriously. I love writing simple fanfic that you guys can lose yourself in, because that’s why I picked up ff again after stopping for many years. And because of Seungmin, ofc. But this is also why I was very nervous about posting DEITY even though I’ve been wanting to do serial killer!Seungmin for months now. I knew it couldn’t be simple, but I had no idea it would already be this long halfway through (almost 50k words). After writing the intro and getting into the first part, I decided to just write an entire novel. I already had the plot in my head.

I don’t see many stories like this on tumblr, but I also don’t read much (I’m not exaggerating when I say all of my free time is spent writing) so putting something darker out there that wasn’t just oneshot smut was a little scary. I’m aware that’s what get most of the attention on here (short stuff, ott smut, ~imagines, etc) and why even though I have readers like you, I don’t have much in the way of likes and reblogs. It does get discouraging, but I’m pushed forward when I think about all of you reading each part.

So ANYWAY. Sorry this got so long. Thank you so much for your reblogs and your comments on those reblogs. It’s so important to me and the other writers on tumblr.

And thank you Seungmin for being my muse. I wouldn’t be writing every day again without you making me so delusional.

Again, sorry if this is too much and none of it makes sense. I took too much of one of my meds today and I’m very dizzy and lethargic from it.

[lundenloves]

i have no clue what your flavour of music is but i present you with mY mix of music, good luck lunden, i love u no matter what

pussy pop:

Chappell Roan's pink pony club, good luck babe, naked in manhattan... all bops, all FUCKING BOPS. anything by her. BOP. she is the definition of girly pop slay queen ok i am SORRY

When I Rule The World by Liz saw it on a bimbo playlist that's it, sold. slap it on the fridge. frame it. telling my mother about it.

Please Please Please by Sabrina Carptenderein in honour of u meeting Sabrinas bf. smash.

Fuck it, Celine Dion. take it OR LEAVE IT.

i like the way you kiss me by artemas

I am depressed today:

WILDFLOWER by Billie Eyelash

Picture You by Chappell Roan (i am actively writing ghost wanking it during sad boy hours to this song, its great... for me not him)

tolerate it by taylor swift, i am not a swiftie but this song slaps so hard it got me crying in the club on numerous occasions

i want to be a middle aged father who wears leather studded vests:

literally only made this section so i could tell u to listen to Sabaton. Preferably their song The Last Stand. Its metal. Its gothic. Itssssssss i am edgy but would like to understand the lyrics and would not like to die from screamo music.

i want to live in rural america and stare into the mountainside as my partner drives me through winding roads while i feel a glimpse of nostalgia even though i grew up in the city:

Noah Kahan. Dial Drunk.

man, i just cant stop being despressed:

ur so pretty by wasia project

two by sleeping at last

MITSKI AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Nothing's new by rio romeo

pussy popped 2 hard and now i am just in a fucking musical phase, ok JUST LET ME BE!:

No Longer You by EPIC. Similiar vein all of it. its poppy, its up and coming. it was all i listened to for a week straight.

Vioila by Barbara Pravi (i love eurovision)

World by Zeph (its only like a minute long ok, but it s'cute)

Je te laisserai des mots. fkn french. FUCK.

#holy fuck im drunk #anyway # enjoy #or dont # but if you dont #i will #CRY #thanks # THANKS.

how do i sign this off.

FUCKING FUCK love L! <3

dude. i severely love my anons so much, you people actually bring me through the deeeeeeepest bouts of depression sometimes and make me laugh everyday 🫂

in honour of music sharing under this format you have sent me (which is 100999% interesting i fucking LOVE seeing what other people listen to) i will share my own thoughts on music 141 style.

for reference i am a midwest emo, folk punk, screamo, metal, country music, grime rap, 60’s floorfillers and beatles vs stones, tøp hello tumblr, oasis v blur and britpop, green day mosh pits and everything else other than opera enjoyer ALAS i have my favourites.

ahem.

- i’m making a different post about this 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥😭😭😭😭

i’ll link it here once i’m done

[tillysretentionracket]

.

[padfootastic]

I’m sorry for spamming you, but that whole scene in POA is objectively hilarious and insane, so. Not only do Sirius and Remus plan on killing Peter, pretty sure Harry is the only one who objects to this. Peter is begging everyone there not to let this happen, Remus and Sirius are not reconsidering, Ron is completely disgusted with Peter, and Hermione is having the worst time imaginable, but I think that neither Ron nor Hermione tell them not to do this once Sirius and Remus commit to the decision. Harry’s sole objection is that James wouldn’t want this, which is actually what stops them; James’s approval has magical properties and even from beyond the grave, he’s the main influence on Sirius. However, Ron and Hermione refusing to do Jack to help Peter is easily one of the best parts, because it’s got the vibe of “we too would kill someone for betraying our best friend, this is understandable.”

gosh no, please don’t apologise. it’s been the best thing waking up the past couple days to all these asks in my inbox, and they’re making me thing in a different way too. plus, they’re actually getting me to use tumblr again which i’ve wanted to for weeks now but haven’t been able to so i should thank you!! and apologise for being so all over the place with this lol i feel like i’ve just messed up the entire order 💀

but okay, yeah, unhinged marauders are so superior it’s a wonder we don’t have more of it? like, the way i’m thinking is a characterisation where they don’t take themselves too seriously, go about life fucking shit up & not giving a shit, and just take each day as it comes, really. also, the way you described this scene makes it even more hilarious plsss now i really want a video edit with the wii (mii?) music in the background, and emojis + cartoon effects added because the whole thing is just ridiculous. also!!! how can we forget snape!!! his comedic timing + kind sacrifice as sirius’ lab rat was the icing on top of the cake tbh. the way sirius did not even take his eyes off peter until snape’s name was mentioned, how he momentarily ignored his whole plan just to taunt the man (just read the scene and apparently that’s a movie addition but ykno what. i’ll take it) and also. harry, god. what a dude. he literally calls snape pathetic and a fool 😭😭😭 i love this boy so much. u just know sirius would’ve looked back at that scene later, once everything had died down, and been so fkn proud of his godson.

(also the last line is making me imagine a ‘potter support group’ where all the cult members (best) friends of a potter come together to talk about their respective idiots & the magical charisma they have. once again, dark lord potter ftw)

also, hermione really is having the worst time, isn’t she? she’s tired, overstressed, keeping secrets, on the outs w one of her bffs, unable to keep up w her schoolwork, in a foreign place and that’s just the base. then, she finds out she covering for a prof who might want her best friend dead, there’s another dude who’s extremely unhinged who cannot be trusted, there’s the fkn far she loathes right there, ron has a broken leg, snape is right there and they had to stun him and now she’s worried about that, and finally harry has zero sense of self preservation. i feel like in that moment she just really wants to turn her time turner back until none of this happens. she deserves it too.

[shravanya]

Okay, so this is history. My first ever movie of yours.

Sravani di is the only person cuz of whom I could have watched it. So all my love goes to her first, for giving me a unique experience. The movie has been a roller-coaster ride where I experienced a lot of emotions, which might not be related to the exact meaning of the lyrics, but then we have the freedom to interpret it in any which way we want to! That's the beauty of your songs, and you give us that freedom! I cried a lot in the first half of the movie bcz most of the songs sung in the first half are my favourite.

To begin with The 1 is a song which tbh didn't stir any emotion, it just began and ended.

Next up was Cardigan, and I suddenly sat serious, concentrating on the melody and I increased the volume and got emotional with tears rolling down, and proud because it's the first song you released and the videography, lyrics and everything about is just so perfect! Leaving like a father for me is literal, and I love the entire Verse 3 the most - But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss... I mean I could play this verse just forever.

Illicit Affairs gave me goosebumps! Your high notes for certain words at the end of each line sounds extremely melodious and renders bliss!

I cried when August played. It's one of my favourites and is also my birthday month so I sort of feel special whenever I listen to it. You told about naming the girl Augusta or Augustin and I wish you did! All the while I had the exact opposite perception about the storyline until you spoke that she's the one James cheats on Betty with. The bridge, oh my god. Again that gives me chills! I can play just the bridge on loop forever! You were so happy while singing it, and when I got to know you composed it I was like there goes my Taylor!

Seven is the song in which I cried inconsolably, not just because of the melody, but the lyrics. I identify myself as the girl with the braided hair, rough childhood, and a mad dad. I also relate with Please picture me in the weeds before I learn civility which implies that I don't want to live in a city where there's rat race. You mention my country India and that also makes this song special. Also I remember you saying how children create nuisance while at store, "throw cereal at my mom" made me laugh so bad.

Okay now here comes my favourite Mirrorball! It's my all time favourite and I relate to the lyrics in a completely different way. I shed tears when you talked about how we all are sort of hypocrites and behave in different ways in front of different people. I was told once that it's like I wear a mask, and it broke me, to think of myself as double faced. But you negated that and now I feel myself. So I read the lyrics of the song before it became the 'song on repeat' and I could identify myself as the girl who's ready to do anything to make the love of her life notice her. I again absolutely fell for the bridge, that's something I sing with intense emotions.

This Is Me Trying is a song where you talk about mental health, and it made me super proud, being a psychology student.

Invisible Strings - I love it. I just fkn love it! I mean this is the only song which is the most positive of all, both by melody and lyrics! And whenever it's played, I feel overly cheerful! The strings render an innocent feeling in the bosom, and the lyrics are super cute! I love every single line, and the waitress line is so funny! And you mention the colour Teal, which is again my favourite!

In The Last Great American Dynasty, you told about how country music begins by telling a story and the central character turns out to be the singer himself/herself! That's an interesting fact! You said that you wanted this song to fit in some album that's relevant to telling stories, and that's such a carefully devised plan! I was just imagining how excited you would have felt when you would have figured that the album is folklore!

While singing Mad Woman, the way you said - fuck you, I totally felt you, and could empathise when you explained about the prevalent male mistreatment. You were just so savage there! I have always respected you for speaking up against Patriarchy, you go Taylor!

My Tears Ricochet is again a powerful and bold song, and I love how it sort of brings out the woman in me! It too feels like a Feminist song, and the ooh ooh part gives me creeps! It sounds ghostly tbh, and it's like sort of a revengeful song so it totally emits those vibes!

You made an entire song - Epiphany - for your grandpa, and that just makes me hug you! They usually compose songs about lovers, friends, family which mainly consists of parents and siblings, but you focused on your grandpa, that itself brought tears to my eyes and then you also said that it's not just about him but also the doctors with shifts, etc. It's the only song that sort of makes me feel it's the closest to describe the covid situation.

When you asserted that James in Betty is a fool, no he's a fool, I laughed. Betty is a name that I find relatable cuz back when I used to read Archie comics in childhood, Betty was my favourite.

Peace and Hoax again are not the songs I would listen to, but I noticed you cutely you said that you just like the word with the 'x'

My god, what can I say about Exile. Taylor, do you know you made me fkn cry with the ending - Aa Aa, which isn't there in the original song of the album. Tbh, it wouldn't have been on my Playlist if Sravani di wouldn't have told me that it's her favourite. My god, I even pinned a post about it on Twitter and Tumblr! That few seconds part has been on loop since days, and makes me cry and sink in. It's the only song that I prefer listening to than the original, from the Long Pond Studio album.

The Lakes, oh my god Taylor. You just went so poetic there! I mean it legit sounded like a song made in the 18th century! I have always loved the British Victorian era and stuff, and that song exactly delivers that feeling! It's been on repeat since I heard it in the movie. And it's sounds like the last puzzle piece or something and it's so explicitly mysterious, and you talking about running away so casually, that gave me chills tbh. Whatever you do, wherever you wanna run away to, just don't stop being a queen and never leave us.

P.S.- Thank you for being my unofficial therapist Taylor, I love you.

[thrufiyah]

Midnight Sept 28 2021 12:30am

Midnight thoughts

Finally got babygirl to go to sleep hopefully she’ll stay asleep. Homeboy over here dont even know I got up or that I’m sitting up typing rn ha smh. Anyway... honestly... lately been feeling lonely but with support if that makes sense...

Lots of paperwork here to fill out reg benefits, insurance, etc but it’s working out gradually. might be able to get a cabin soon for my own lil fam so we’ll see how that works out and we plan to move next year so we’ll see how that works out too... 

kinda leaning towards going our own way bc its a lotta hands involved and the left doesn’t always know what the right is doing or diff views on everything kinda confusing rn but itll work out

def an adjustment period. but just kinda feel lonely bc not rly anyone to talk to about honest thoughts? honestly? sometimes doubting... but excited in planning? now that were officially getting our own room to fill up w our own stuff is kinda sorta cool but not sure how it will go when the weather is bad

just gonna just keep typing as i go until i get rudely interrupted. lol

kinda bummed that i won’t be able to do this once lo arrives bc thatll be two bebes to constantly watch and never have time for myself

i always told myself not to have kids until i was financially stable and i broke the one promise to myself...... the one thing i didn’t want for my life..... but GOD you make a way when there’s no way

what else... worried about bebe growing if she’s ok normal all parts eating enough growing enough just idk.. always gonna be wondering... 

ill even be wondering when both kids grow up and things will come up like disabilities along the way and that scares me. not in the fact that i can’t handle it but how their life will be as they grow up

just hoping they have everything that they need and grow up happy and feel loved all the time and able to express themselves....

my patience does run thin these days but maybe its my hormones? but again maybe not lol haha

wow everytime i come back here i feel different and im always at a different stage in my life. 

missing my family in the way of how they remind me of who i am and where i came from they say ive grown up and that im independent but idk how much of that is really true

what else... dont rly talk to anyone much either... if anything it’s hb’s mom and then hb and even that isn’t much

daylight savings time is diff - sun didn’t go down until 7pm-8pm and it felt different. finally found my favorite grocery store that gives me a little piece of home and got to see a new side of town with the shops near the mall.. that was exciting lol

it’s really such a trip how much of a stop life is at the moment rn but i guess its a way to tell me we got to slow down hashtag cashaley haha

teddyswims and allenstone were dope on that yt video though lol

i oughta listen to more music to mellow out! haha. DEF need my own headphones or earpods... which HB didn’t give away my freakin mpower flames... lol. but headphones be hurting my ears but also i be needing them sometimes to chill or watch a movie

idk what the future holds but im holding on jesus lol im holding on....

hmm what else. lately ive been WAY TOO addicted to chocolate... and hmm what else... i need a journal just for notes like shopping lists, to do lists... etc.

glad im back in the tumblr and pinterest world lol. but pinterest to me seem like fleeting dreams and a whole lotta money mama does NOT have haha

hoping my work visa comes in soon so that i can apply for the residency one in december as soon as baby is born lol. 

i can’t believe i dont remember if i bled a lot or not after giving birth last year... but last year was such a year of turmoil trials and tribulations... so to me i get it.. but yeah anyway

it’s weird... i feelike im here and not here.. maybe bc of lockdown and now in level 3 but a lot of empty dreams happening! but goals are def being met and worked on and completed so i can’t complain about that

i get worried everyday if bebe in there is still kicking so many horrifying and sad stories around the world its just no way to protect your kids idek

as far as self care... i was kind of doing it but at least im cleaning more and helping around the house more? i just hope im not slacking where it’s most important

what else.... hm.... what else is on my mind tonight. body be SORE LIKE A MF. from having to be a 25/8 366 day arm pillow, having huge ass legs to lay on my side, damn i miss my side lmao, to having to share a freakin blanket lmao.

idk just a lot going on and not rly any outlet to do. this mf still aint notice im sitting here lol anyway

what else is on my mind.... for some reason i really wanna find more haircare stuff lol. i need pa’us lol and rubberbands, scrunchies, bins, what else... idek but i need it alll please and thank you lol

babygirl is kod rn so cute but baby just dont move sleep peacefully by yourself for now haha

anyway we’ll find out this week if we’re gonna move to the next chapter and hopefully nana approves of our new plan idek

what else... i swear i clean up and two seconds later its a mess again in here

trying not to be too paranoid about stuff in here but it gets to me when they all start to puss ugh yuck fkn gross man but well get by maybe the nzbugs aint used to american fat skin haha

fitness is something im def looking forward to out here... kinda need to go for walks more often whether its just down the street or the small park nearby which here is called the bush lol

dont even get me startttttted on vocabulary... lets see what ive learned so far here...

bush / wop wops - foresty tree area, gumboots - rainboots, jumper - jacket or longsleeve? dairy/superette - small convenience store not connected to a gas station, what else... rubbish - trash... idek cant think of anything else... oh chocolate is specifically chocolate and lollies are gummies and others i guess... newspaper rolling for all food leftover or compost i guess... idk thats all i can think of for now

what else..... that was GROSS bruh. haha tay said don’t lose your venacular... lol. maybe if i keep listening to throwbacks that remind me of home...

ok i feel better i guess now that i wrote down some thoughts gonna try to put these clothes away and then get some rest for tomorrow

kbye!

[calix-daesyn]

Thank You All So Much

Calix Daesyn: 400 Followers

Lotus-of-Noxus: 460 Followers

I remember when I first came to the tumblr rp community a little over two years ago. I had no idea how to get started. However, I had been reading a lot of stuff by @prodigal-ezreal and their RP partners and I missed roleplaying so badly that I knew I wanted to jump in. I couldn’t decide who to play though: I had never played canon characters in any rp - and while I thought about trying my hand at Ezreal I just wasn’t sure. So, I made Calix. And he has evolved a HELL of a lot since then. 

It has been a bit rough getting into rp, I’ll admit. When I first made Calix I decided to try and take the advice of a lot of people and just start sending things out. About 80% of those were never answered or I received a ‘sorry I don’t rp with OC’s’ or jus t ‘no’. But some people answered and we soon started having a great time.

A lot of people I started RPing with just aren’t really around any more. Like @cutthroat-diplomacy who was my first SERIOUS ship (with poly allowances of course) for Calix and a great RP partner. @axesrevolution has always been wonderful and a great friend for Calix @timeforatruedisplayofskill helped me get into RP so much, welcoming me readily. @soulreaverdraven did the same and answered my asks and helped boost my confidence early. @spirit-of-an-exile I’ve seen more recently, but not as much - but still her riven mama was the guidance Calix needed and often ignored and got in trouble anyway but she would still sigh and call him bambi and pat his head. Someone who I’ve seen around more recently, but still not much: @the-malevolent-rose I loooove all your interactions with poor Calix. He may have danger kink and monster boyfriends but even he stays ten feet away from Rose when he can. Like I said, they aren’t really around any more, but I’m still so grateful. And there are a ton more I haven’t mentioned. I don’t want this to become a huge wall, just everyone know how much I appreciate everything. 

Now on to some people I interact with today all the time:

@uncle-touchy-lich You are such an amazing writer, artist, rp partner, and friend. I can’t express how happy I am that we clicked. I started following you and was so amazed by your Karthus and wanted so badly to RP with you that I reached out cautiously expecting kind refusal and instead I found someone who was excited to rp with me. I couldn’t believe someone with such a great muse and such great ideas thought my writing and my character were compelling. I’m so happy we started RPing and even happier we started to talk as friends. I adore you and your lich and all your work and characters and I hope we can continue being buddehs for a long time.

@thelanternwretch You are so fkn awesome bruh. Starting with your character and your RP - I LOVE EVERY BIT OF IT. Every dark twisted thing, every vodka thresh moment, every truly horrible villainous thing Thresh says, all of your history and your writing - I just love it. And you the mun are an amazing, sweet, beautifully twisted humor-having person. I really do consider you a friend and I am amazed that you like writing with and talking with me and I thank you so much for the interactions and for just talking to me.

@thecrimsonexecutioner Bab I know you feel insecure about some stuff some times but let me be the tell you that you are AMAZING. Your art is SO GOOD. Your characters are SO GOOD. I love writing with you and talking with you. You are awesome and your muses are fantastic. <3

@cervantestheferryman Dude bro bruh friendo you are a cool ass muthamuffin and I’m glad to see you back and active again. You’re great to rp with, great to build characters and AU’s with, and great for a fun time. Thanks for taking an interest in my bb’s and giving them good bruises.

@thefallenstarchild We don’t really RP, but I just want to note how much I love your Soraka and your art and just how sweet you are. Every time you answer something from Calix it makes me smile so much. <3

@definitely-not-altair You are one cool dude!!! I love watching your streams and reading what you do with Talon. Thank you for ever answering anything I send you from my Kat you are an angel. I really adore your writing and your art and we don’t talk or RP much, but I really appreciate that you put up with me at all lol.

@ace-of-spades-ezreal OOOAH YOUR BOY IS SO GOOD KAT WANTS DAT - ahem. Anyhow. I love your art, your writing, your character and I love every interaction between Ace and Kat - just so so so very good. And I love reading your interactions, your character building, just so much. You are one shiny muffin, acey.

@hook-and-chains Bab you are lovely!! <3 We don’t talk as much but I love your Threshie and adore seeing you on my dash!! <3

@morose-deserter You are such a sweetie and so is your Seryn bab and I loooove talking with you - in RP, in messenger, just everywhere. You are so great <3

@cup-cait Thank you so much for all the entertainment and for trying to keep Kat in line keep trying I believe in you bab. <3

Anyhow I should probably stop there before I take up everyone’s dashes completely. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to everyone I want to thank, but please know that I appreciate you all so much and I just love that anyone follows me at all. When I started Calix I couldn’t believe I had twenty followers - and now I have twenty times that. 

Thank you - so very much.