#Trying to get out of art block by drawing the two things that really motivate me:

[artist-heart83]

What a crazy year, I’m a right?

Unlike the previous year, when I didn't feel I did that much, this year was a lot different than I expected.

So let's do a little recap about this year, shall we?

My main purpose for this year was making oc's content! Focusing on doing some new designs and giving a fresh look to some of them, buuuut... I have this Minecraft project that I was waiting to do too, then trying to bring my Mario fankids, etc, etc.

Internally, it was a fight between all my creations, and someone needed to win, unfortunately... it wasn't either of them, but an unexpected challenger appeared in the "ring", and ended up winning without fighting lmaoo.

Little comic to visualize the events:

Like I said, this was meant to be temporary, I didn't have plans to do so much stuff for the fandom... right?

I wanna say, in terms of art, this year was very productive! Experiment with concepts and designs for characters, being in the smg4 fandom really pushed me out of my comfort zone, I had fun drawing some characters, they're so fun to draw <3

Also, important mention that currently nobody of you guys knows, I was in charge of designing a silly guide for my university, such pain, but I ended up loving how it looked. Vouch to my teacher to let me do that work.

Also, an important highlight about the experience of a digital artist (me) suffering from power outages since FUCKING SEPTEMBER, which decide to join an October challenge :D

Another good thing, apart from getting back to drawing, was getting back to writing fan fiction!

Been 2 sweet years of writer's block and I got the motivation to write about gay people, still a bit ashamed it was smut, but take it or leave it.

I have more fics that I can't wait to show! Not only about New Gen, but a bit of some rarepairs that I love deeply, and Marware of course.

Entering a completely new fandom, after so many years of not doing that... was strange. But you know what? I never felt so welcome in a fandom before.

A lot of the people here have a big place in my heart for being so nice to me and loving my artwork and my fanfics. Also, I started interacting a bit more, not only here but on Discord too! Which have been fun, I have met so many people and the nicest (shout out to @briandraws for that)

But one thing for sure I wasn't expecting, was people loving my fankids.

Listen, my main thing in fandoms is doing fankids, and after seeing that it was allowed, and I wouldn't be attacked for that, I ended up doing it.

18 FANKIDS AND I REALLY HOPE IT ENDED THERE.

Also, shout out to @blu193 for being the number 1 fan of them, have to open a special folder for fanart because she did a few of some of them which I really appreciate

This year, really surprised me, in all the ways possible. Like, if you tell me at the beginning of the year, that I would fixate on SMG4 when I decided to focus on oc’s, I would laugh.

And if you tell me: “You finally find a fandom place where you feel welcomed and loved”, I wouldn’t believe you either.

And I still can't believe it, I didn’t expect to feel so comfortable, find new friends, and be able to do tons of fanarts and fics.

I'm already nervous for tagging two people, so unfortunately no tag list, but... huge thanks to everyone in the smg34 and smg4 grounds servers, and a lot of my moots from here, you made this year amazing to me <3

Happy New Year everyone!

[pokituu]

I’m so impressed with how many styles you have and that you use them regularly (realistic, semi realistic, 2d, and 2d, 3d & pixel animation)! How did you learn to balance this many and get so good in all of them?

THANK YOUUUU this compliment means so much to me because so often i feel so worried I will stagnate since I basically like to draw the same subject matter over and over again 😳 but I do like to periodically try new things that I'll become invested in for chunks of time.

i guess advice more than just 'practice' is to be willing to try out new things that you have an interest in, even if it doesn't work out at first and is frustrating. you gotta be persistent to learn something new BUT if you get bored then just move on! if it sucks hit da bricks.... I really like this bjork quote abt creativity

idk throughout my life in art i just try to learn about stuff i'm interested in and practice what i wanna practice. like i wanted to get good at pixeling when i was like 14 so i kept practicing and trying new ways to go about it until i started to figure it out. same with digital painting when i was 15 and i just kept trying again and again until it clicked, even though i was frustrated a lot, i never actually lost the interest when i saw people's pretty paintings and that feeling of 'man i wish i could do that!'.... so i literally couldn't stop myself from trying over and over at painting. it goes beyond just drawing too. planet earth is fun because ANYTHING u are interested in you can try........ i make fursuit heads and other crafts to see if i can! this year i started making my own songs and also learned leather-working because i saw a cool craft and wanted to try :3

part of it is letting yourself age too because as you get older you will grow interested in new things. i am 27!! i've been drawing since i could hold a pencil. that's a long time to encounter a lot of stuff to get obsessed about and wanna try out for myself. SUCCESS TIP!: i typically pursue things that are adjacent to other skills i already have invested in, like drawing to 3d sculpture to digital modeling, or start blending them like sculpture + coding skills = 3d animation rigging. The reason is because a lot of these skills are transferable and make it easier to pick up. like a skill tree in a video game... and you'll end up in weird places like sculpture to sewing to leathercraft. It's nice to have creative hobbies you can be sorta be mediocre at without attaching your self worth to it, but other people still often find it impressive anyways because it's stuff they've never tried to do. It's really healing and easier to like what you create And yourself by extension when you're just having fun and learning without having to worry about the end product being "good". Anything you try is not a waste because you are learning new skills and more often than not, something you've learned is transferable to some other area of your life!!!!!!!!! nothing is ever a waste of time.

this is also the secret cure to art block btw well actually there are two secret cures. a) is you have to embrace the art block and go get obsessed with some other creative thing for a bit. either that or b) go absorb other people's creativity to a bit and watch some shows and read books or talk to people. c) is a mix of both. eventually you'll return to art again feeling fresh and motivated if you're willing to give it a few months. I think art block really just means you're bored and need a change of scenery one way or another 🤔 that's just my onion though

TL;DR have fun pursuing things just because you like them. as you keep doing it you'll just get better at it through practice whether you really intend to or not.

[stardustedseas]

artsy rafayel nsfw ideas

(afab genitals for reader in the first two but no specific pronouns used so its otherwise gender neutral)

instead of finishing in you, raf likes to have you spread yourself open so he can jerk off and cum all over you before making you hold that position so he can draw it. you just look so pretty with his cum dripping down your pussy and ass he cant help but be inspired </3 hes already painted on you so he needs to draw you as well

dw he will make sure to lick you clean and let you finish too after hes done sketching, he'll try not to take tooo long

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if you follow or know me ignore this i am very ashamed but must share my thoughts

along with that, rafayel is a real man and is NOT afraid of period sex, infact he has even said he really likes it because he loves the pretty pink your blood and his cum make and will often recreate the exact shade in his art afterwards

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rafayel lovvvesssss to have you cockwarm him while he works, especially if its a piece he has been having shit inspo for or just dreading doing. he says it helps keep him motivated but you both know he will just use the excuse of you moving around too much on his lap (you have been sitting perfectly still) to 'take a break' and fuck you, he ofc doesn't get back to work after because hes 'too worn out' and thinks you both need a nice long soak in the bathtub. you dont give in often because you know what hes doing but lord he always makes it well worth your while so you cant help but play along sometimes

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raf has made art on and with many things, if you can think of it hes probs used it, but hands down his fave canvase will always be you. in the way he never feels as much pride for his work as he does after he has covered you head to toe in hickies and his cum, painting your skin such pretty shades of red purple and white he almost wishes he could show you off(he would rather die than let anyone else see you like this). but also in the way he loves to actually paint (with skin safe stuff ofc) on you, having you lay out naked on a sheet while he kneels over you and creates the most beautiful scenery all over your body. he adores when you cant help but let out a giggle when the soft brush gets to a particularly ticklish spot or how your thighs clench as he swirls the cold paint over your nipples.

its a shame such gorgeous work never lasts long, always ending up halfway transferred onto him and smeared everwhere when neither of you can take the foreplay anymore and just get down to actually fucking. he does try to take pictures before it eventually gets ruined tho. honestly the showers afterward are some of his favorites as well

(he lets you paint on him as well if you like but he usually doesnt have as much patience when hes the canvas and you hardly ever get to actually finish your piece before hes tugging you down into a heated kiss)

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to rafayel, none of his art could ever compare to how genuinely ethereal you look to him. as cheesy and over the top as that sounds, its honestly how he feels. dont get him wrong, he is very proud of his work and knows he is extremely talented, but none of it will ever take his breath away the same way you do. you can be all sprawled out on the couch in the most ragged clothes, hair a wild mess with no makeup and still be the most gorgeous scene hes ever laid eyes on.

he often likes to have you pose naked (or sometimes wearing lingerie he got you) in different positions to help him with art block. while yes its partially just him being a horny perv, seeing you in unique poses really does help get the inspiration flowing. even if he doesn't actually draw you every time, you always inspire everything he makes. he will use the color of your skin and texture of the lacy underwear you have on to make the most beautiful sunset, capturing the way your hair sits in the strokes of flowing waves, or the plushness of your body for rolling hills

along with that, raf also likes to have you touch yourself while he watches and paints/draws, he will set up a chair and easel at the end of your bed and let the inspo take over. he often just has you do whatever and will let that dictate what he makes, but other times he enjoys telling you what to do. where to touch yourself, what toys to use, how fast or slow, what position ect. sometimes he will have you do one thing until you are jussttt about to cum before he tells you to stop and start doing something else. for example, he has you stradle a vibrator and grind on it however youd like but the second youre about to finish, he makes you lay on your back and slowly fuck yourself with the dildo molded exactly like his cock instead.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~☆

i love him sm yall

[coralpolyp]

I'm not dead!

Hey look here's a redraw of the really terrible bit of digital art I did for last year's Mar13 day as proof! Apparently I didn't even finish the first one on time! Yikes!

I'm well aware that it's been a minute or two since I last posted anything on here or on AO3 - to be more precise, it's been since Splatoon 1 died and I wrote that 8000 word depressing thing - I don't know why 8000 words always seems to be my sweet spot, but it's good to know that I have one. That being said, and with Side Order: Dark Side Mix currently MIA, I thought it'd be a good idea to to have what it is that I'm doing right now on-record in some capacity, for the one or two people who were wondering.

The next few weeks are exam season, so I don't think it's going to be smooth sailing per se, but Dark Side Mix will be completed. After running into a snag with the opening act - namely with the fact that it sucks - I started reworking the entire fic from top to bottom under a new name...and then I lost motivation to do that because perfectionism set in, and I haven't really touched it in a little while.

In the time that I've been away from it, I feel like I've become increasingly aware of how that perfectionism negatively effects me and my work - namely the fact that very little of it actually exists. I mean, sure, people seem to like the stuff that does exist, but there isn't much, and a lot of things are unfinished - usually because I placed too much value on the potential of "the idea", and spent so long labouring over the start of it that by the 10,000 word mark I had realised the flaws of the idea and lost interest in it.

I can't help thinking that's a bit lame. Every other writer has 100s and thousands of words of terrible amateur works they can go back to and laugh at, before they created the masterpieces they're known for now, and my story is that I just kinda show up every once in a while.

I think there's a real beauty to that - creating for the sake of creation, with no fucks given. Maybe this isn't the finest example, but I finally started listening to My Dad Wrote a Porno recently and...I mean... the sheer lack of fucks given is well and truly a gift that keeps on giving. Same goes for Philosophy of the World. Or SMG4 back in like 2014. Or old Eddsworld stuff. There's just a certain carefree joy (or existential dread in the case of the Shaggs) to it all that you never get anywhere else. It's like the difference between a 30 second gesture drawing and 6 hours of carefully-deliberated-over anatomy.

All that is to say - Dark Side Mix is a fundamentally flawed story. It is not high art, it never will be. I should probably just get it out there in it's entirety for the world to see in the time I have available to write, and then move on to the next "brilliant-idea"-that's-actually-just-ok. Nobody likes an "idea guy" - what good is it to spend one's entire life going around saying "I never finished this story, but it was great in my head, and the bit that you can actually read was alright too,"? Creativity should be about getting in there, making a mess, and having fun - let fanfiction be fanfiction, with that being addressed to nobody but myself, because nobody else needed to hear it.

Oh, also, another reason for my absence besides creative block and exams - I'm getting into comics! That, and practising my art fundamentals a whole bunch - I don't think my drawabox is particularly interesting to look at, so I haven't exactly been posting it. I've decided that I want to try giving an idea I had for what would've been another depressing Squid Sister 8000-worder the comic treatment, although you shouldn't expect to see that anytime soon, considering how long it's gonna take, and the fact that I would want to release something like that in no more than two parts.

[chimkin-samich]

Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

[untoldsoup]

Hi! I was curious about how you organise work with your comics, including the writing parts :)

Idk if my process is how it's supposed to be done, but I'll share what's been working for me so far!

So for the btb comic, I got it written last year before the 'change' comic was done being drawn. I learned alot about how I wanted to do storytelling with that comic and it influenced how I organized the sequel.

One thing I learned from the 'change' comic is I absolutely loathed drawing the same location too much. Most of that comic is the wedding and by the end of the wedding I was so sick of drawing the wedding scenes (it almost caused me to quit a few times lol).

So when writing the script for the sequel I told myself every chapter would indicate a scene change. This would help me get through drawing a chapter knowing a new scene location would be drawn for the next chapter.

A scene change can be as small as a different room or as big as a new location, as long as *something* changed about the background I would have to draw.

Each chapter is its own word document (well google docs now, i switch over)

I write my stories in movie script format. When researching how to write comics I found the most helpful advice was screenwriting advice. I highly encourage people to watch youtube videos on screenwriting. I also watched a ton of videos aimed at screenwriters that talk about plot, how to write interesting characters, and the three act structure.

I made sure i could answer questions such as "why is my character doing this?" And "what motivates them?" And "how does their wants and desires change throughout the story?" I made sure that each character's motives and personality could answer these questions with a few simple words. I needed to make sure I have a clear understanding of what they wanted.

I go through a TON of edits in my chapters. I even edit alot when I finally start drawing, if I think some dialogue would work better rephrased once I see it next to my art. Editing is huge. Your first draft really is just getting the "dumbest" version down. Once you get over that hurdle, you can mold the script into what you need.

I remove a lot of dialogue during edits. Comics are a visual story telling device, so i try and make sure the words and art work together, and that the words don't feel like they could exist without the art.

There is nothing I hate more than when a comic page is a giant block of text. I find large scary blocks of text uninteresting, So I will often go out of my way to draw more panels if it means breaking up the dialogue.

I also try my best to write realistic dialogue. Would this character say this? Why are they saying this?

If you notice with my stories alot of characters are not direct in how they speak. In real life no one tells you directly "i am mad". They deflect, lash out, say things because they are jealous or hurt ect ect. I wanted to do my best to have my dialogue reflect how each character would realistically handle the pain they are dealt.

When I start drawing, I have the script for the chapter I'm working on open on one computer screen, and my art tablet with my program open on the other. This way as I'm drawing I can easily reference my script.

If I'm drawing an action heavy scene, I will often start paneling out on paper some crude sketches just so I can keep track of where everything should be. It's easy for things to get lost in the action so I try my best to make sure I am aware of where every character is in busy scenes.

These drawings are extremely crude but really really helpful. I don't mind sharing these as they are so abstract they don't really give anything away lol. But they do help me organize.

I use clip Studio to draw and from there start drawing my pages. Each page takes about 2-3 days to finish depending on complexity. I think I get about two pages done a week, more if I have vacation days or something from work.

I have a full time Quality Analyst job, so I'm only able to work on my comic between the hours of midnight and 5am lol. It's why you always see me updating and posting at horrible hours lol.

Anyway I hope that helps? Hopefully I answered your questions!

[cleverthylacine]

Okay. Wow. (also feel free to circulate this post to people even if they don't like me)

I didn't want to make a post like this but things have gone too far. I am still not mentioning names. If you know you know, if you don't know, ignore this post and be happy that you don't know.

Yesterday I went on a blitz of blocking people I was told had been sharing my private DMs and talking shit about me behind my back with an artist who is freaked out that I told them I wouldn't take down a reblog, and then explained that they are popular with RavWave shippers, and that I didn't know who they were until other shippers sent me their stuff, because their art does look shippy to us.

It seems that a lot of the people who are really mad about this (and you're welcome to share this one post of mine with those people, though I do not appreciate that their friends have been stalking my blog in general) think that I was trying to ARGUE with that person.

Much as their motivation in drawing the art was not to depict my OTP, my motivation in telling them that they accidentally did was not to argue with them about how they should view the relationship. It was information about why people get what is apparently the wrong idea about their art.

If I were writing or drawing something that was being misinterpreted all over creation, I would want to know why.

Then I would be armed with the knowledge to decide whether or not I wanted to do things differently in the future.

"I don't care what those people think" is a valid decision. So is "hmm, maybe she has a point." Whichever decision I made, I'd want to make it as an informed decision.

I feel a little sorry about this giant misunderstanding, but I'm absolutely disinclined to apologise because:

Their first message to me was insulting. Many people believe that it was a "polite request". But polite words can be used in a thoroughly rude and nasty way. There is no nice way to tell someone that you think they're so nasty you don't want your public posts appearing on their blog.

Saying no to requests is a thing that people are allowed to do.

Their second message to me, which evaded my block because it was sent to another account, was blatantly offensive and went into the quality of my family and relationships. I didn't respond to that because I'd have gone off.

They have their friends stalking my blog and have admitted to doing so, and have responded to venting on my part by vagueblogging in my own blogs by telling everyone that they're the person I am annoyed with and here are the receipts. Seriously, wtf?

I only know this because I'm trying to block all the assholes who are reposting my personal conversations with them, a thing i only know because a friend of mine told me so after receiving a demand they unfriend me.

This person and their friends are sending anon asks to my friends, or in one case, publicly demanding in an RP community, that people who want to interact with them unfollow me, because they will not interact with anyone who interacts with me. Go the fuck back to high school, Regina.

Don't put icing and sprinkles on a pile of shit and tell yourself you gave someone a chocolate cake. This person has never been "nice" to me.

Under the cut: why IDW Ravage would never allow herself to be handled like a pet cat, and why RavWave shippers feel the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes, even though we know that's probably not what the showrunners meant us to think.

I have come to the conclusion that's it's just another case of antis thinking that if you can see two people in a non-platonic relationship that they think of as family, you're just nasty. Especially if the feline shaped character is being handled like a pet cat.

But the person who said "I look disrespectfully on anyone who ships this, that's just a goof and his cat" has missed the entire point of these characters' relationship. Soundwave would never treat or handle Ravage like she was a pet cat.

Anyone else who says RavWave shippers are nasty because "it's NoRMaL to handle your cat that way" is fundamentally not getting who Ravage is and how she feels about being touched.

Ravage is a sapient adult mech with a full range of sapient adult feelings, and touching her like she's an animal is a microaggression or a macroaggression, depending upon where and how you touch her. The oppression of beastformers is a big fucking thing in IDW 2005. Other beastformers also complain about constantly having to deal with unwanted and disrespectful touching. (Fortress Maximus is a known offender.)

IDW Ravage is sleeping in Megatron's bed throughout MTMTE (when she's under it, she's guarding him). She only allows him to touch her neck in front of others...because behaving like a pet cat increases the chances that people will treat her like one.

(She almost cut Nautica several times. That's another character I ship her with, because what would be funnier than her realising that this actually is a whole ass person and if she can't stop touching her, she might actually be attracted to her?)

(Note: Canonically, Ravage in IDW uses he/him, and I do know that. However, about half the fandom writes Ravage as female. I'm in that half.)

BTW, I feel exactly the same way about the Earthspark deleted scenes. Every RavWave shipper on the planet does. We've talked about it. We realise that the artists and showrunners probably intended it to be innocent on the grounds that she is a cat. But we are also people who like to write her as an adult Decepticon officer with agency and self-respect who wouldn't behave like that in front of other people unless they knew he has privileges they don't.

I am aware that half the fandom draws Ravage art that's basically cat memes. (I hate that so much. But as a proshipper, I recognise people have the right to depict characters any way they want. That doesn't mean I haven't had to vent to people like @bitegore and @miner16 to keep myself from saying something.)

Also, I strongly suggest that people who get this worked up about misinterpretations of their art or writing do not become professional creators. As a member of fandom since the 1970s, I'm kind of super extremely aware that most of what fandom does is counter to what the creator intended, and frequently that's the point.

I'm also kind of super extremely aware that if you don't have loads of people reinterpreting and remixing your work and your characters, that actually means nobody cares about your work enough to have blorbo feels about your characters.

(The side poll, which came from another blog and mentioned no names, was an irritated attempt to find out whether people really do think it's normal to cuddle your mom that way, because the second message insinuated that my mother and I must have a terrible relationship because we don't touch each other like that. I kinda wanted to know what people who were not predisposed to take my side and did not know what was going on would think of that idea, because I really do not think most people touch their mothers like that; their mothers aren't nonsapient animals and would thus consider it weird and inappropriate.)

[astrid-gallivan]

I'm sorry

Well, things seemed they were going great but now, everything changed again.

I’m going to be honest with everyone. Things were going really well at the end of last year and I was very hopeful for this coming year. But instead of things coming together, I feel like the opposite is happening and my life is just falling apart. Everything I had planned is not happening. Everything I wanted to do got blocked once more by this thing called life and everything that is out of my control. I feel tired. I feel burnt out. I’m tired of fighting. As a Millennial, I’m really fucking tired of fighting to just be happy. Every single time we dream and actually try to go for them, we get fucking Republicans in office who take those dreams away from us and then blame us for it. 

I was getting set up in a position so I could quit my job and fully focus on my career dreams of being an artist and a storyteller. I was going to make an Ed Edd n Eddy comic of them as adults. The dream seems like it’s not happening now. And you can blame the Trump administration for it. 

Because now I HAVE to keep my full time job that I loathe so I can ensure I have a paycheck. I HAVE to ensure that I can support my family while this economy starts crashing and entering the Great Depression 2. That alone has killed a lot within me. And then I’ve meet too many people who support this fascist regime and think he’s amazing. I’ve tried to follow this dream many times in my life, and this kind of shit ALWAYS happens. I’ve had no real motivation to do art this past month. Nothing. I haven’t even thought of the comic or anything related to it. I haven’t watched EEnE. I’ve been more focused on internal things and wondering what my next move is thanks to this fascist regime we’ve put into office. Because no vote was a complicit vote. I keep thinking “I need to fight for my country”. If I want to draw, it’s only images of Popeye crying because his country betrayed him. Or comfort characters because I'm so damn depressed.

On top of that, I have no idea what is happening with Nostalgia Con in April. My friends and family have tickets to come. I was waiting because I was going to volunteer with the agency that works with the VAs of EEnE. And I haven’t heard anything from them still. Ive reached out at various times through different methods and have gotten no response. PLUS Nostalgia Con seems like it’s no longer selling tickets to the event. Their web site says “tickets back on sale soon!” It’s been over two weeks now. So I might not even be able to go and enjoy the convention with my family next month. I won’t be able to talk to the VAs again and try to get insight from them and make connections so I can step into the industry like they are. Or anyone at the convention for that matter. 

And then there’s all my personal at home stuff going on that’s adding another 10 things to my plate. Everything is just fucking falling apart. And I’m just a depressed mess. And it’s all because of fucking Trump. What the hell am I supposed to do when these fucks keep putting me into a cage and telling me to eat shit and be happy about it? I’m fucking tired guys. Life seems to be giving me the final kick to just shut me down forever. Because I’m sick of fighting to just be fucking happy and do the things I want to do. I’m sick of getting told that I’m selfish for wanting to just do something I enjoy doing. And I’m sick of people acting like it’s my fault.

So, I guess my hiatus is going to be longer. I’m sorry everyone. I really am. I promised a comic and it seems it died before it even began. I’ll try to get the motivation back. It’s killing me inside to just not do it at all. But you probably won’t see me for a bit. I really am sorry. I talked a big talk and didn’t deliver. I hope that I can deliver in the future, but it’s not happening on the schedule that I originally envisioned. I need to just do things for myself right now without the pressures of 20 other things. If you do see art, it might be political. Because I almost can’t focus on anything anymore other than “I have to fight for my country, however I can.” I don’t know anymore what’s happening for me. 

I’m sorry everyone.

[aversiteespabilas]

Do you know how I can get out of an artistic block? I've been like this for two months

Oh boy, I've been there too, I get you. I don't have a definitive solution for this, but I think the nature of art block can be very different for different people at different times, so a good first step would be to try and do some introspection on what exactly you're feeling whenever you think of doing art. However, here are some things that tend to work for me:

Take this time of inactivity to really look at and enjoy other people's art. Sometimes your artistic journey will just include breaks, and that's okay. It doesn't mean you aren't learning, though. If you really enjoy someone else's work, take this time to study it, make sense of it, try to discover what exactly you enjoy so much about it and why. Maybe think of ways you could emulate that yourself. I often find that the coolest looking art starts with the simplest shapes. Try to imagine which tiny little steps the artist could have taken to achieve that look. This gets my art cogs turning every time.

When I'm feeling frustrated about my own ability, feeling like I'm not good enough, sometimes I'll just make a point of drawing something that's complete garbage. Like the ugliest scribbles ever. Go "I'm gonna draw something SO HIDEOUS". I do that until I start to just have fun with the act of scribbling itself, not the result. If you feel comfortable and happy holding your pen, you're on the right track. You don't need to do anything else. You don't need to show it to anyone, you don't need to post it, you don't even need to keep it. It's just your time of Hold Pen, and you've been doing art. Congratulations!

Sometimes I get this feeling that there's a particular piece I'm scared of doing, normally because I feel it's too difficult or I don't have the "required skill level" to do it, even though the ideas are overflowing and my mind's eye is working full speed and my fingers are itching to create; the worst part of it is when this fear gets me to freeze up, like I just can't do anything. Well, I've recently found the secret for this one, and it's not pretty. You just gotta do it. Seriously, if you think it's fear or insecurity holding yourself back, then you just really need to grab yourself by the collar, slam yourself on the desk and get yourself working. It's gonna feel awful at first, it's gonna feel like a task, maybe even boring, and like what you're doing is pointless, but by then you'll be doing it. That's the truth of self care, most of the time it involves doing things you reeeeaaally don't feel like doing. If the alternative to doing art is just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, then remember: the time will pass anyways, might as well just do it.

This one may not always work, but if it's a broad motivation/excitement issue, I often find that making art gifts for my friends/loved ones helps a lot. First, it's a gift, it's free and unprompted, so there's no real pressure for it to be a masterpiece or anything. Second, you're setting a clear objective for yourself that you can get excited about, and third, you're sure to get a validation boost from it! In my experience, collaborating with a friend on a larger art project has kept my motivation cycle going strong. Run from the lonely artist archetype, it's your biggest enemy. Art likes friends!

Otherwise, there are various ways you could try and hype yourself up. I am a very calculating person so I get really motivated when things are planned and organized in lists. Since I started noting down my ideas in a To Draw list, I always have something to do, I'm never out of exciting ideas and art block very rarely rears its ugly head. For some people it may be the opposite tho! I know for a fact many people find lists and schedules to be draining for their creativity, so find out what would make you most excited! Maybe trying new brushes or materials is your jam! Maybe your current hyperfixation or fandom can offer motivation. You need your art process to work for you, not against you, but in order to do that, you need to understand what exactly is it that makes your brain most excited. It's self-discovery baybee!

I hope some of these work for you! At the very least, it can't hurt to try. Good luck, soldier!

[driedupeyeballs]

Hi gang, bit of a vent post (?) but also bit of an explanation

So, why did I randomly disappear from ao3? All of my fics were very well received and still get comments and kudos to this day, and I really enjoyed writing them, at the time. They were all written within a couple months in late 23/early 24, and I suddenly stopped posting fics whenever my latest fic came out in January.

I had only planned to break until March, this was due to some stuff going on in my life at the time. But I just kept putting it off more and more, and writing and outlining and planning fics started to feel like a chore.

I had no clear ideas, every time I sat down to write I was left with a blank page. Even the fic ideas that were clear fell flat when I planned them.

Writing wasn’t fun anymore. I had absolutely no motivation to write, or work on my fics in any way.

Then, the same thing started happening with art a few months ago. It was taking me longer to draw with a lower quality final product, it was more frustrating despite nothing about my creative process changing.

I thought it was just art block, but it’s been 4 months at this point. Art block for me has never lasted that long, and I’ve just gotten worse about writing.

And I genuinely don’t know why this is happening, writing is my passion and has been since I was a kid, and it’s never been like this until now- sure it’s frustrated me but I’ve never lost motivation for such a long period of time.

I’ve tried to write at least 5 different twst fic ideas I had, and a few of my OCs backstories, and it’s like a chore to finish them. Even starting them is stressful. I can’t glide through a story like I could last year, 20k words don’t just appear in my brain in a two or three hour sitting like they did. I’ve tried everything I know to try, and it’s upsetting as hell becuase I have stories I want to tell, I have ideas I want to share, I have fics I want to write, but I just… cant, at the moment.

I don’t know how long this will last, I really hope not much longer.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you @sunset-a-story for ALSO tagging me way back in August. I AM SO SORRY

1. What motivates you to write?

It itchy, itchy urge to create something. I NEED it OUT. I MUST make sense of it ALL. The thoughts need ordering and putting together to maximize the happy chemicals. I see something I like that someone else made and I get jealous so I must do something like that, but MY way, and BETTER. It all makes me very itchy (restless).

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I skimmed my entire 3rd draft (so far) to pick a line. There are a lot of good ones but none I liked more than the rest - I couldn't choose. So... I know I've already shared this one but dammit. It is a kickass line. It's also the first line of WIPVII - and you do not know what devils I sold my soul to to escape THAT writer's block.

I will live, I tell myself through the salt water in my eyes and the sting of the south wind on my face. This will make for a good story one day.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Banter and wit. Which is funny because I always thought that was the thing I would struggle most with - I was the academic overachiever who took herself too seriously in school. But when I reread my drafts there is something that makes me laugh in nearly every scene. Most of my highlighted lines are banter or retorts.

6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

I love seeing writeblr content on my dash and I looooove getting interactions when I liveblog my writing. It is so nice to be able to share this with people who love it too (rather than inflicting it on my poor irl friends who are not writers). I just love all you Writeblr friends so much!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

A 2x3.5' and a 3x5.5' whiteboard with a rainbow's worth of whiteboard markers in different thicknesses for brainstorming, family trees, timelines. My sketchbook, a mechanical pencil, and YouTube drawing tutorials for my maps and concept art. MS Word, dark mode, Times New Roman pt 11, with comments enabled for my manuscripts, outlines (bullet points), and worldbuilding notes. Subfolders within subfolders stored on my PC to organize all my Word docs. Two separate USBs which my completed manuscripts are saved to (in case something happens to my computer AND one of the USBs).

I have yet to find any worldbuilding or map making software (and it hasn't been for lack of looking) that gives me enough flexibility. I have yet to find any writing software that has features Word doesn't but that would actually help my process rather than overwhelm me.

I do want to write out a draft of WIPVII by hand at some point (though with my penchant for writing hand cramps this might be doomed). I also want to try an electric typewriter.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

WIPVII doesn't have very complex worldbuilding (there is no magic and most of it is ripped from real world history) but I do always love it when authors tell us what way the wind is coming, what smells it carries, what the view is in the distance, whose lands those are... that kind of stuff. Really creates a sense of place. I spent a lot of time mapping all this out in my own novel and I am very happy with it! The description feels so rich!

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Learn more about the craft. Writing is problem solving. If you aren't happy with something figure out why - the mechanics and technique behind writing. If you're still stuck learn even more. There are so many great, free resources on tumblr, youtube, blogs, pinterest (though it is most stolen from tumblr) even twitter and tiktok.

Also, learn how to filter out what advice is helpful now versus what should wait for later so you don't get overwhelmed. If you haven't even written a first draft yet don't bother with pacing, exposition, line editing, or let alone how to query. Just focus on the macro-stuff like plot and character arcs.

Tagging with the lightest brush on the shoulder these nine alleged humans: @cheeto-flavoured-pasta, @alnaperera, @bluberimufim, @daisywords, @boundedsea, @full-on-sam, @writernopal, @ashen-crest, @surroundedbypearls

[maddiebiscuits]

i don't know how to phrase this any other way so i hope you don't find this rude or anything: you are (imo) a very skilled, very prolific art toaster. it's great quality artwork obviously, but your turnaround is wicked crazy fast to me. what does burnout look like for you? how do you manage to toast so many arts? what dark magics must you employ??

The hard truth is I worked in journalism for two years between 2010-2012 and customer service/hospitality starting at 16 years old in 2007 all throughout my life until 2022 and I don't want to go back to any of it now that I'm almost 33 - that's the main motivator to keep my freelance gig career doing art commissions going as long as possible. Fear and loathing of going back to that work environment keeps me focused.

In action...I'm not quite sure if I ever experience 'burn out'? I do experience art 'block' in that I can't think of anything to draw on my own or feel really unsatisfied with my work...so I just goof off with my canvas or do studies, but this doesn't interfere with doing commissions where I am told what to draw.

I just enjoy the physical act of drawing. Sometimes when I'm bored and restless and going for a walk doesn't help, I just draw more. When I was a kid I would just come home from school and draw crap between playing Gameboy/N64/Gamecube or browsing Elfwood/Newgrounds/DeviantART/Gaia Online, so it's literally just a habit now. If I don't draw for a long time I feel anxious and unwell. Somehow I just programmed my brain to think that art = leisure fun time, even if it's for work. I also tend to get into a "zone" sometimes and just put on video essays or music and a few hours later I'll have worked through some commission stuff.

I have three 'task lists' for my workflow:

A public trello board organized by work order types (N/SFW link)

A personal trello board organized by type/date in chronological order

A coloured tagging and folder system in my emails where I can just see the actual dates/timestamps of my last correspondence with a client so I know exactly who in my taskboard needs to be prioritized for their next WIP update

I hold myself to a standard of sending a client a WIP in stages:

rough draft (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

line art (1-14 business days)

revisions (1-5 business days)

final render (1-14 business days)

tweaks (1-2 business days)

So ideally, the client gets a finished commission in 3-6 weeks, so about 1-2 months. For larger projects I send more WIPs and the process is obviously longer. For simpler stuff like chibis, it's rarely a full six weeks. Over holidays I add an extra two weeks to my noted turn-around to account for IRL time off. On all my terms of service I have a maximum four months turn-around, essentially doubling the time I know my work flow is just in case there's some sort of medical or equipment emergency in my life that I need to account for that gives me a buffer (I also notify all clients)

Monday to Friday I wake up usually...late morning/early afternoon? I do anywhere from four to eight hours of artwork, broken up by walks, stretching, eating, cleaning, cooking, hanging out with my partner, etc. I look at my personal trello taskboard and emails to see what must be done and what can wait. I try to get at least 1-2 things done in a day though, be that sketches/line art/renders/revisions.

Right now I am looking at my email and task board, and the client with the highest wait time chronologically is someone who is waiting for their final render (sketch and line art already revised and done for them). Last email correspondence with them on the email says 9 days ago (so 7 business days, I'm supposed to take Sat-Sun off). Their order was paid in full and confirmed by me on November 9 and it is currently December 13, so I'm at about the 5 week mark (not accounting for delays in clients getting back to me of course) and I am very much On Course for my work load, no one has been without contact from me for 14 days or more so I'm pretty ahead of my game right now! I could take tomorrow off if I wanted, or only do 3-4 hours of work if I feel like it.

However the more work you finish and post, the more you show prospective clients your ability to finish orders and show your audience more art for engagement, so ideally I always like posting stuff when I can, it just creates a cycle of positive production and income.

[deep-space-lines]

Have you ever wanted to draw something but you fought due to your skill level at the time you decide not to do it

Honestly I don't think there's been a time in my life where I haven't experienced this. There's a file on my ipad I've had on the backburner for like probably over 4 years now; there's a really clear image in my head of a poster showing the detailed anatomy of an astronaut from the perspective of aliens who believe the spacesuit to be part of its body, and every time I come back to it, I keep saying I'll do it later because I just can't pull it off yet :') so yeah the struggle is real

That being said, I've personally found that apart from just 'don't draw it and let it haunt you for years until your confidence improves', there's two solutions that work for me

1: Just draw it the best you're able now, with the knowledge that it might suck (in your eyes) but there's no rule that says you can't come back and re-draw it a few months or years down the line once you've learned more, if you still want to. It can be super frustrating if you have a really concrete awesome image in your head that you know you can't execute the way you'd like, but treating it more like a rough draft than something that has to be perfect the first time around can help get around this. Genuinely I think about this post all the time now, I think it rewired my brain chemistry as an artist. Just accept it'll look bad, who give a shit!!!! If you draw the rough draft now, it'll either turn out better than you expected, or you'll figure out what you struggled with for next time. Either way you'll at least temporarily get The Image out of your head and satiate the Art Beast.

Which leads into...

2: Figure out if there's a specific aspect of the Thing that intimidates you the most and put some time into low-stakes practice with the skill that's blocking you. Usually it's gonna be something like perspective, anatomy, rendering/painting, struggling with dynamic poses, etc.

Starting a completely new skill from scratch sounds intimidating, but you're not starting from scratch, and if you sit yourself down and give it some dedicated practice, you WILL see improvement within the same day. Keep it up for a week or a month and you'll have learned a lot. If it's dynamic perspective, tell yourself "ok I am GOING to learn how to draw with perspective" and mess around with references, look up tutorials, draw other art pieces with perspective until you feel like you have a somewhat decent grasp of it. If it's anatomy or dynamic poses: (once again, cannot stress enough) use references. Trace and then copy references until you get a feel for the shapes (AdorkaStock is really good), practice figure drawing (Quickposes, Line of Action), watch Proko because they have really good videos on these things (1) (2) (3).

'Practice makes perfect' is simultaneously very correct and very unhelpful advice, but if you've got a good grasp of the fundamentals of art, picking up specific, individual skills to a 'good enough' level is not nearly as time-consuming and frustrating as trying to just get better at 'art' as a whole. It can be really good motivation tbh (at least for me), to have an image of something I want to create and telling myself "I am going to intentionally practice [indoor environments]/[perspective]/[faces]/[painting with unrealistic colors]/[insert specific skill] for a few weeks until I feel confident enough to draw this thing".

anyway sorry that was so long. idk if this is any help, just my personal experience

[sapphire-weapon]

I used to draw for other small/rare ships (apparently I'm drawn to those kind of ships lol), only one of them got huge enough after they were given some time alone in the manga which got the ship more talented and known creators and amazing fan art.

Unfortunately it also got more hate on since it was a ship that "got in the way" of other huge popular ships and going through the tag got annoying bc the haters tagged every post shitting on the previously rare pairing, plus if you reblogged or made content for it they would harass you. I just blocked everyone sending me hate lmao.

Lots of people now hate Leon/Ashley but I think this increased hatred also shows how the haters can see that it is a thing now unlike before. They see it as a real threat. You can see the insecurity in some of those antis, it's too obvious and also just sad imo. I don't get why antis take shipping too seriously like they're not even having fun anymore and that's supposed to be the point, no?

Truth is I've seen so many Leon/Ashley fans online and even irl, Reddit for example loves it and Remake Ashley is a fan favorite now. A lot of them are more casual fans that maybe don't engage that deeply with fanon (which tbh is the smart thing to do).

Finally I have to say your blog and the amazing fic writers have inspired me to go back to drawing fan art and just creating content for Ashley/Leon or EagleOne. :)

Since this is my new otp and the only thing I love shipping rn I'm also just creating a new blog for that purpose. I'm not an amazing artist I'm just an amateur but I'll try to do something soon when I'm less busy. I'll absolutely tag it as EagleOne. Hopefully I can motivate others to do the same.

anon what the fuCK i got all emotional reading this wyd 😭

i know that the antis are coming from a place of insecurity, which is why their arguments are so disingenuous (i finally found the "the devs went out of their way to make sure that leon and ashley weren't seen as romantic" tweet and hoo boy the desperation is stinky) -- and that's also why i don't engage with them. as easy and perhaps fun as it would be to just QRT it and be like "oh it makes sense now, you're all using text to speech because you don't actually know how to read" there's no point in doing that.

i said it a while ago, but i want to say it again for good measure -- i don't want us to become them. my humble goal for eagleone fandom is to be a haven for ppl. we've been the black sheep of this fandom for so long, and aeons are still accusing us of being predators or someshit (idk i'm only semi-fluent in delusional) that i feel like we all have an obligation to stay humble now that capcom's given us a fairy tale version of RE4 where our ship is the front-and-center romance and people are finally actually being drawn to the ship. no one knows how bad this fandom can get better than eagleone folk, so it's on us to not do unto others what has been done unto us.

idk maybe that's just my whole jewish "because you were slaves in egypt..." mindset coming out but

i want us to be a place where people can just come and hang out and make friends over our shared love for resident evil. i know that i have serennedy and cleon and chreon and metaltango people all following me, and i love all of them dearly and i'm happy that we've all found each other. i feel like that's what fandom should be.

that's why i don't fight with aeons out in the open. i don't want to become them. i'll swing back if they ever come here (though i hope valuable lessons were learned the last time someone tried to come in here swinging and i took them out in exactly two responses LMAO), but i don't want to go out picking fights and i don't want any of y'all to do it either.

so it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy and happy to hear that i've inspired you in some way. i know that our little corner of the fandom over here on tumblr is small, and i know that i don't exactly have the kind of welcoming personality that will give me any sort of real platform in this fandom (at least, not like the one i had back in the day when i was a fake ass bitch LMAO), but to know that i've made at least a little difference is everything for me.

[rttnpnkpmpkn]

good day/evening OP! got a question if you don’t mind! how long have you been drawing art? and what keeps you motivated to draw? do you also do commissions? and do you ever feel tired or exhausted staying in one fandom?

thanks for answering! take your time and you don’t have to answer these if you’re not comfortable ☺️

((btw anon here is in early 20’s just to be clear ^^))

Good evening/day, Anon! And thanks for clarifying your age, as it really does mean a lot 🙏💖

No problem at all to answer these! For drawing, traditionally, it’s ever since I got my hands on my first set of crayons as a babby.

1) If it’s digitally, I started doing more of that when I bought my first surface pro tablet with the remaining art scholarship money at 18-19 years old back in 2015, I believe! Medibang was a game changer because I felt it was a good starter drawing software when I couldn’t afford Paint Tool Sai at the time (I eventually bought a license for Clip Studio instead because of a friend’s recommendation lol).

2) What motivates me to draw? I have many reasons. First one to spite a kindergarten classmate who said my drawing of a Pokémon wasn’t good xD (don’t remember which). Second, to tell stories because I couldn’t write a cohesive plotline. Third, it’s the cheapest entertainment I got lol.

I remember I tried to adapt excepts from the novels I read into comic form and they were pretty fun. Especially when I was inspired by the 39 Clues fanart in the wiki page at the time.

I think if people online made them look fun, it makes me wanna join in too, and that makes me forget that my skills suck~ Which is very important in having the motivation to draw. When focusing on quality, or perfectionism , I tend to be very harsh towards myself, which what leads to my occasional art blocks.

3) Ay I do commissions, but currently closed atm! I still have two more to go and thus, I promise myself not to reopen until I get them done!

You can find the list in my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/rttnpnkpmpkn/commissions

I may have to increase the prices a bit to account for inflation, which is disappointing but every penny counts in this trying times sorry! qwq

4) It depends! While I can enjoy a content for as long as I can before I move on to the next, the main deciding factor is whether to be involved in a community.

Every fandom I came across as a lurker always seem to follow a pattern, so I’m very reserved in joining new communities socially.

I came for the experience, so I gotta make the most out of it before I do leave to find my next hyper fixation. I’m drawing until I can find my “finale” if that makes sense ^^;

Peeps can come and go in a fandom, but inspo strikes when no one asks!

For the particular fandom I’m in, It’s definitely a mixed bag, but I’ll focus on the positives!

I have many things to be grateful for as they’re the ones who got me out of an art rut for the past year and so. I learn so many new skills and life lessons from them, where I couldn’t imagine it being any different if I didn’t meet them otherwise. I met the nicest peeps who made me forget I’m not too fond of group chats, and were very nice and supportive in their own way!

I’m returning the favor for the inspo they brought me as it’s the least I can do ^^

Also, I never truly leave a fandom, I just wander around as a lurker until I find a reason to come back again. I don’t really make an account dedicated to a specific fandom, because they don’t usually last long, so I tend to sample from other places to make the candle last longer. It wasn’t obvious mostly because I was more of a lurker then and an OC artist xD

I began drawing lots of fanarts mainly because peeps made drawing pr0n for a stickman fun 🤣

Hope that answers your question, and thank you for your time! 🙇💖

[gordonengineswifenirmal]

A lot of times, Yeah. Not everything is inherently bad about them, but u learn real fast where u stand. A lot of folks swim with the fishes, jump off the bridge together into wtf insanity eejit land. Then, some of us go do our own things. Often, we’re the hated ones. The bridge jumpers will try to run after u n set fire to u because u do something that triggers them. Often, u don’t even know what ACTUALLY triggered them, n sometimes u didn’t voluntarily do something.

Honestly, there r a lot of ppl here that have great art talent, but draw some really wtf shite. Supper cringe. I was nice. I didn’t go up to their blogs n pick fights saying wtf r u doing? wtf is in ur mind? They even would ask stuff on the confessions blog (sometimes nsfw). A few of the folks didn’t like that I censored a word or two. No fights tho, until one day I got random message to the main blog (this one) filled with insults because I don’t support spammers. No one gave me a chance to explain meself. Everything was being taken out of context. They stalked me for stuff, used an image or two without permission to harass me. It just kept getting worse n worse.

N yet, I have friends here, and on discord who are wonderful people. We have great conversations. I can b friends with all ages, n I’m perfectly appropriate. I have a few minors in me discord who I protected when they harassed. I was harassed before because I protected them.

Some of the well known blogs here are supporting ppl who befriended actual paedophiles. Some of these blogs have extremely disturbing content on their blogs. I’ve had ppl who block me, or slandered me n then blocked me so I couldn’t have a rebuttal just because of lies they believe. It’s insane. They claim ‘oh she’s older and sexualises a kids show so she’s a paedo. - they’re doing the same thing they accuse me of. The only differences are that they’re younger, and dont care what bullshit they support, as long as they think it makes them look good. Newsflash - it doesn’t.

I’m not the least bit interested in people inappropriately. The one claimed I was inappropriate at museums and fan events because I joked about stuff with trains. I’ve never been kicked out of anything. This same person was at the unlikely fandom thing with me, met me in person. She knows full well I didn’t do anything wrong, but is making up shite to satisfy something. I’m not even sure what the exact motive is tbh.

We had stupid ppl in fandoms before, but eventually they’d go away. They’d b all know it alls n they’d go away. This is new. This is terrifying. Some folks I know actually witness the real disturbing stuff in other discords n report it to me. I’m glad that as toxic as the Thomas fandom is as a whole, there are still some good bits. That’s what I enjoy. Nice conversations, we can joke about stuff. That’s it. I dunnae if ppl r secretly hoping id want to do more inappropriate stuff, n thats why they r trying to egg me on or silence me ? I hope not. The very idea sickens me. I know they perceive me as a threat, not because I really am one, but because something about me strikes a nerve deep down. N they don’t want to confront that truth. This is what seems to drive a lot of drama in the fandom, n not only for me.