#To th point that it hurts people!!!! Ppl ask her if she's OK and she basically tells them to fuck off!!!!

[adhdo5]

Godddddd. Wei Wuxian my Wei Wuxian can you let people love you. For your sake and theirs!!!!

[maggieqp]

it’s happening again.

back in October majority of the ppl in my friend group planned a Halloween party, which I was originally invited to. But later was uninvited without any fucking notice, because I’m surrounded by assholes ya know. Claiming “ there was too many people coming already, and you would’ve been late anyway”. But I was fine with that I let it slide, acting like everything was perfectly normal.

Then there was a thanksgiving party, which I was invited to and did attend, still feeling a bit unwelcome by some people but otherwise it was okay. Finally feeling like everything was going good again.

now it’s fucking Christmas time, well they’re hosting a Christmas party which again I am invited too. I thought everything was fine until this morning. Sitting in the holding area at school two of my friends and I have this conversation.

p” did you see they added H to the Xmas thing”

B”yes I saw that”

me”no I didn’t let me check” the group chat was originally on snap so I check there, and there’s nothing.

me”no I don’t see anything, is it on text?”

p”yes”

me”oh well I’m not on it” at this point my chest starts to hurt and it hasn’t stopped all day.

B”I’ll text A (the host) and let her know to add you”

me”okay cool”

after that we all go on with the conversation, then in homeroom me and B have this conversation.

After building up a lot of courage.

me”hey can you text A and ask if I’m supposed to be on that group chat?”

b”of course” and B texts A, I don’t know what B texted her but I trust B a lot so I don’t think it was anything bad.

me”because I’m an over thinker can you also say that if I’m not supposed to be on there that it’s okay”

b”yes I will”

then we all go on with our day, and everything is fine expect my fucking head it spinning and my chest hurts.

later in art class me and B have another conversation.

Me”question, is PP on that gc?”

b”no”

adding some context PP is a bully who is still in our friend group for some reason, and A originally invited her as a joke.

me”oh ok”

b”yes can you imagine if she just showed up”

after this conversation it made me feel like they were treating me like PP, as if I had done something wrong to them. Even though I have never once talking shit about them to anyone but myself I am so fucking nice to them when I shouldn’t be because they are a bunch of shallow bullies who only care about the self’s.

I am so fucking tired of their shit, I just want it all to stop because I am at my fucking breaking point. And nobody fucking cares, I absolute love B with all my heart. But today I was dropping hints to her that I am not okay and she just took them as jokes, which is fine because that’s how I was presenting them. But I am not okay, and I can’t do this anymore. But I know if I say a single bad fucking things about any of them that they will funding crucify me especially one of them names BW. she has admittedly had a bad year but so have I, and all everyone seems to care about is how her year is going. And ya know what she’s always in some type of fucking drama and has attempted to spread shit about me. Saying I was talking bad about her at lunch, even though I wasn’t even present at the lunch she was talking about so I quickly shut her ass down in the nicest way possible.

another bit of context during homecoming there was a huge divede in our friend group and BW was at the center of it, this is where she said I was talking about her. And while the situation has mended it is still not the same at all.

like this whole situation at homecoming really fucked me up because I want to be friends with all of them, but it felt like I had to pick sides every fucking day. To the point I had a fucking anxiety attack in public, but of course no one cares about that. No one cares how stuff affects me because they are too busy thinking about the’ self’s when I have spent my whole fucking life thinking about other people and how to make them happy.

And you know what I’m done messaging people first when I think they’re angry at me, no more damage control, no more letting them walk all over me. I’m fucking done.

but at the end of the day. Although everyone who has seen my previous post, and myself know that I will change nothing, I have written so many posts about how fake my friends are and how I’ll cut them off. But I never fucking do because I’m fucking pathetic as shit.

[8eht]

q - u? :)

 q: how do you feel about collaborations?

i don’t have too much of an opinion on it, to be completely honest. im pretty particular about what i like reading though, so if their writing styles differ too much i won’t be able to enjoy it really.

with that being said, i give lots of props to those who actually collab w others bc im so picky abt my writing and have extremely specific ideas and if details aren’t described exactly how i imagined it in my head it causes me so much anxiety and distaste for it and askfhaskjfhasfkja. so it must really be difficult and i rly respect those are able to achieve that type of teamwork i could never tbh

r: are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

the first writer that comes to mind is tahereh mafi. i know her style is def not for everyone and neither is mine so sajkfhaskjf. feelinggenious on wattpad actually wrote a post about why they don’t like her style and expressed the reason being is that its “written in a chaotic, hallucinating-ish, journal style that’s oozing and overflowing of metaphors” and that ppl may find its a “lump of metaphors and horrid imagery” n binch thats exactly why i aspire to be on her level someday asfjhsfjhasfk. but i love it so much tho!! and thats exactly how i would want mine to be described as tbh

another person that stands out is tabitha suzuma. i’ve only read one book by her, but i remember ppl on goodreads reviewing it and saying its like 418 pages of poetry. she brings out so so so much emotion and all of her characters (even the younger children) are so three dimensional and they honestly felt like real people to me. the story is so so traumatic and hard to read, but i, at least, went thru so so so many strong emotions and sadness and happiness throughout the entire book. not many writers can do that to me and i admire her so so so so much. she took an extremely taboo subject and made it so you actually feel for the characters involved. i wont mention the book due to reasons but if anyone is interested u can message me or w/e!! 

and lastly, i mention her literally every moment of my life and she really is my biggest muse ??? i guess but its nicole dollanganger. she a songwriter which is technically a writer so i think she counts. not many ppl have heard of her bc she basically just came from bandcamp. but she’s been described as being like lana del rey but with way scarier and more horrific lyrics. i listen to a lot of her songs when i write to keep me going tbh. but i wouldnt rec her music to anyone who can be triggered by v*ol*nce and etc!! so keep that in mind

ask me more fanfic q’s!!!

s: any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

i love angsty bffs who are secretly in love with each other but are too much of stubborn and frightened buttholes they never say anything. so they always fight and get jealous and wow … im so weak for this d*mb shit. hmmm also practice kissing tropes and hurt/comfort and ajkdhaskfjasf. im boring ok i know this dont tell me

t: any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

ok so theres not many that i CANT stand, but theres a lot i literally have no interest in. i rly am against anything obviously problematic or gross. so theres that. but in terms of just popular tropes that im not into ??? anything paranormal (which is hilarious bc i love anything else paranormal n that includes books but for some reason in fanfics i just ??? cant do it.) however there have been a few that i love so i wouldnt disregard a fic completely jsut bc it has supernatual elements. i wouldnt disregard a dystopian fic tho maybe. idk wuts wrong with my brain and why it chooses some things and not others aksjfhasfkasf. but anything thats not everyday boring basic ass shit i usually cant get into it rip

so yeah. theres actually way more bc im so so so so picky af to the point where its disgusting brtywgasfjk

u: share three of your favorite fics writers and why you like them so much.

IM CHEATING !!! ok so instead of writers im gonna go w three of my fave fics bc thats easier for me.

1. letters (things unspoken) was the first fic i ever read that i really, really loved. its super heavy and so so sad so be warned if u wanna check it out. listen i didnt just tear up reading this ok. i straight up sobbed like a lil annoying binch and it really really broke my heart and wow. it involves d**th so. and its monsta x fyi

2. when i get weary of the sky is unbelievable. i havent read it in such a long time so i even forget a lot of it but i remember it being so incredible and well-written and asofhasufohas. im not gonna try to get into my reasoning bc as i said its been quite some time since ive read it and i dont want to give it an improper description. but anyway its abt pentagon!

3. desperate inhales;; relaxed exhales is shortish but its so good omg. im surprised it wasnt written by me tbh bc the author has a similar writing style as i do imo. its everything i could ask for in a fic i think. and wow its actually a svt centered fic amazing. which is wild bc 98% of the fics i read are seventeen related but yet 2/3 of the ones i mentioned are writers for different groups oops

idk why but i feel embarrassed if any of these writer have a tumblr and follow me but prob not and idek why i care but im such a shy awkward bean afhjksjkaf

[the-firebird69]

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[prussianvenom]

Ehoge

Alfred walks in on Kiku during her quality alone time, things escalate

Nothing had been happening all day. Absolutely nothing. It was a boring, bullshitty kind of day. Alfred sighed and tossed on his couch some more. All his other friends were busy doing something, too busy to spend any time with their good friend Alfred. The blonde attempted to entertain himself throughout the day but it was pointless.

Movies, comics, porn. It was all just bleh.

So he figured to waste the rest of his day numbing his mind with computer-generated fun times. What should it be today? Mass Effect? World of Warcraft? He was feeling particularly lonesome so he figured an MMO or something should do fine. So the chubby American sits down and boots up some good ol Overwatch.

He was feeling good. Had some good games, good matches, managed to keep his main for most of the matches. But...And there's always a but when it came to this game. It started with someone bagging his main. No big deal, he was pretty alright with Reaper and D.va, he could deal fine. BUT. Then everyone refused to be a healer, causing everyone else to get more aggravated as the match went on. To top it off the person who stole his main couldn't play him worth a shit!

He had enough. He needed his ace in the hole, the Zenyatta master of disaster, Kiku. He did a quick check to see if she was online. She was, of course, and quickly sent her an invite.

‘Hey, Kitty Kik!!! You wanna help me with some OW matches? Ppl are taking 76 and taking the piss, I need to level up ykno???? And I know you need to level up too! Get them loot boxes!! Get that new bitchin Dva skin right??? If you help me out I'll buy it for ya ;))))’

That should do it. He knew Kiku was dying to get all the skins, being the completionist she was. She was itching to get one of those shiny bug ones for Dva, being the last that she needed.

Alfred went back to his game and waited for Kiku to reply. A good half hour passed before he went to check his messages. Maybe she was having computer troubles. It didn't say what she was playing. She could also be working of course. What other reason was there? She would never leave him hanging like this, especially when it came to gaming and the promise of skins.

He should help her out! What kind of friend would he be if he let his best friend and her computer suffer? So he jumped in his super sweet ass and car and sped off to the rescue.

When he got to Kikus apartment flat it was….unusual. There was…an aura surrounding the door. Alfred began to feel nervous. No, no way, we’re talking about the great Al of the amazing US of A. He's not nervous. Just... Increasingly concerned for his friend. He knocked and got no answer. He knocked louder and got no answer again.

Okkkk, he was nervous. This was even less like Kiku. He knew she was home, her bike was out front. What's wrong? Was she in the shower? Did she leave her laptop open? No, someone as meticulous as Kiku wouldn't let her computer on and out like that. What if….What if there was some sort of crazy ax murderer in there right now holding sweet precious Kiku captive?!?!?!

Alfred ready to barge through was about to shoulder through the door, but when he grabbed the handle it was unlocked.

Well

Hmm

An ax murderer would have locked the doors right?

Kiku would too though….

The plot thickens.

Alfred peered in and tiptoed into the small living space. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. He snuck around some more, on the off chance there was some sort of ax murderer just chilling. Shit! What would he do if there was some sort of psycho in here?!

A sound.

A soft groan came from the direction of Kikus room.

Alfred froze. It came again louder this time. It didn't sound like a big ax-wielding murdering man. It was too soft to really discern what it was. It did sound like one of distress. Alfred willed himself, sure that he would be able to take on whatever foe there may be. Alfred sprung into action and busted through the bedroom door like a bat out of hell.

At this moment Alfred realized a couple of things. She could be busy, didn't notice the message, could have been on a walk. Could've been home this entire time and didn't have to answer him. Also, this had to be some form of breaking and entering. It was at this moment Alfred realized why she was not paying attention to his messages.

She was indeed busy with other things… at the… moment….

There, disheveled on the floor, loosely covered in a blanket, pink and sweating in front of her laptop was Kiku. The laptop displaying very...detailed...intimate...actions.

The two froze, mouths gaping and staring blankly at each other with large owlish eyes.

Kiku squeaks and pulls the blanket to cover her body before choking out high pitch explanations and apologies. Alfred listens for a split second before the sounds started buzzing out into white noise.

It was a Kiku he had never seen before. Her black hair was matted to her sweaty red face. The red traveled from her face down her neck to the pale skin of her collarbone that she neglected to hide with her blanket. Als eyes continue to wander to laptop she was previously staring at. On the screen was a sex scene from the perspective of a girl riding a man that looked to be a classmate of hers. The classmate kind of looked like-

Kiku noticed his line of sight and slammed the laptop with such force he was sure Kiku had broken it.

Kiku stopped rambling. Her fingers clutched the blanket tightly while the other stayed shaking on top of the laptop. Her face was drawn tight and she looked like she might self ignite if she was left a second longer. It was almost cute.

Wait, no. Alfred quickly corrected himself.

Kiku was his friend.

One of his only chick friends at that. She was a good friend too. He couldn't ruin that friendship, not with those kinds of thoughts. This was a tricky situation. She was small and vulnerable in front of him. He had to handle this situation with care.

Kikus face was flushed and scrunched, her black eyes looked starry with unshed tears. Alfred could hear her soft breaths coming through her pink, teeth worried lips. He noticed the blanket was small and did not cover up all of her. A pale calf was stretched out from under the blue comforter.

Alfred's eyes unwillingly followed up the patch of skin- There's a pillow. There's a pillow? Why would she have a pillow in between her legs instead o- OH!

OHHHH!

The last of the light bulbs lit up in Al's head. His face flushed darker when he grasped the situation. Oh god. Oh GOD! Al couldn't stop the flood of images and scenarios of the lithe girl in debauched and lewd ways. Damn him, damn his imaginations. It escalated to the point of him imagining himself in place of the pillow.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

Kikus face shifted from quiet panic to astonished embarrassment.

He was hard.

He was fucking hard.

As if this situation could be any worse. Way to go dick. Way to fucking go, you ruin everything.

He wanted to bury himself under a rock, as he imagined she probably did too.

“Umm,” Al floundered, finally breaking the silence. “So uh, you...You weren't answering my messages. So I, uh, I got worried. Th..Thought something happened.”

Alfred felt so stupid. It sounded so dumb when he said it out loud.

Kiku blinks before opening the laptop to check. There on the steam page was a slew of messages from her blonde friend in varying degrees of concern. She chuckles quietly and holds her face in hands.

“I...Was too distracted to notice I guess.” Kiku answers jokingly.

“So..What uh, what were you playing?” Kiku slapped her laptop close in a knee jerk reaction and looked off to the side.

“I'm not going to make fun of ya, if that's what you think.” Alfred fiddled with his fingers. He looked a bit like a kid Kiku thought.

“It...It's a dating sim.” Kiku admitted.

“That didn't look like dating.” Kiku huffed out a breathy laugh.

“That's what people do when they date, don't they?” Al bit his tongue.

“W-were you, um, I mean. Was I…Did I walk in on you, y'know...having a good time?” Alfred was going for nonchalant when he asked. Tried to keep it cool and friendly as they both were trying to avoid the staggering amounts of elephants in the room.

Kiku groaned and pulled the blanket over her face.

“You came to check on me right?! Y-you did, I'm fine! Now you, you can go home!”

Alfred was sure she was trying to sound angry but to Alfred it almost sounded like she was embarrassed and even...pleading?

No. Al needed to stop. He needed to leave now..but...he needed to confirm one thing before he left.

“Ok, ok, but hey...It might be my imagination...but...that uh, character, was it meant to look like me?”

Kikus head shot out of the blanket

“Is it a coincidence? Or?”

“W-what?!” Kiku looked horrified. “N-no, I, I.” Kikus face had millions of emotions breaking across it. Her face somehow managed to get redder.

“Merely a c-coincidence. I assure you.” Kiku meekly answered. She was lying. She never had a good poker face. It only made it harder for her to maintain good face when it came to embarrassing things like this.

“Kiku? Its, ok, yknow if it was.” Alfred offered soothingly. Kiku looked down at her fiddling hands. Guilt was struck in her features. It hurt to see her upset.

Alfred got on his knees to level with the small Japanese woman. Emotions he shoved down, dormant, began to swell again in his chest.

“Were you imagining me? With you?” Alfred felt like he was reaching.

His chest was tight. She was his friend, she would never be interested. That's what he kept telling himself. That was the only reason she was special. That she stood out.

That all went to hell when she looked up at him with honest, glassy black eyes.

He had a crush on her. He probably always did.

He inched a little closer when Kiku said nothing. She leaned forward to reach him.

“Well...You, you are an attractive, outgoing man. Or at least I think so, a lot of women, would, would…”

“Kiku?”

Alfred jumped out of his skin when Kiku gently pushed her lips against his. As soon as the connection was made it ended.

“Kik-?”

“I love you,” Kiku confessed abruptly. A beat passed.

Kikus face showed a spectacle of emotions as her brain caught up with her words. Before she could duck away into the blankets in embarassment Alfred grabbed her excitedly by the shoulders.

“Holy shit Kiku!!!” Alfred exclaimed, face lighting up in pure joy. “Dude! I love you too!” He pulled the now laughing woman into a warm embrace. Kiku was still laughing when he pulled back and kissed her again.

When they pulled back the awkwardness was beginning to worm its way back into the situation.

“I guess that answers my question huh?”

“Oh..” Kiku laughed bashfully and nodded.

“So…” Alfred inched closer, their knees bumping together, “Were you thinking about having sex with me?” Al winked.

Kiku giggled and slots her knee in between his. “Perhaps.”

“Perhaps? I doubt that pillow will say the same.” Al stared pointedly at the abuse pillow still squeezed between Kikus pale thighs.

“I-”

“Kiku~ Do you want to ride me like that?” Al pointed to the laptop.

“I, no, I mean-”

“Kiku, Kiku,” Al stroked her neck gently. She jumped at the touch. He could feel her heartbeat hammering in her veins. “All you have to do is ask.”

Kiku smiled weakly at the others playful attempt to ‘woo’ her. Kiku leaned into the palm at her neck. It was surprisingly cold compared to her heated skin. She moved off the pillow to be slotted at the knees with the other. She mimicked the movements of the other. Moving to caress the blondes cheek and neck.

“You did not give me the impression that I could until now.” Kiku attempted to copy the sly smirk. Alfred in turned blushed. Kiku felt goosebumps rise under her fingers.

“Well, the answer is yes if you are asking.”

“I...I am asking.” Alfred's hand began to quiver against her nape.

“Fuck Kiku.”

Feeling emboldened and dumb from the blood rush, Kiku surged against the man. Their mouths clashed together. Years of repressed feelings and tension between them flooded forth. Al felt light headed. He would never tell the small beauty this, but he imagined this sort of moment so many times in his lonesome.

God, she was so much softer than he imagined. He felt her fingers curl into his t-shirt and christ almighty he was barely able to restrain a moan...Barely. The hands curled and pushed the shirt up incessantly. She pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting him and her wet lips.

“Can I?” Kiku asked quietly while tugging at Al's shirt.

Al nodded dumbly and lifted his arms to allow the girl to pull off the offending article. Kiku sat back for a moment and stared. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. The last time she saw him shirtless he was chubby and well, looked like what you'd expect for someone who gamed and snacked all the time. She wasn't expecting lean muscle and sun-kissed skin.

“When did, I mean,...wow.” Al looked confused before looking at himself in understanding.

“Oh, yeah, I uh, got a little self-conscious towards the end of high school. Wanted to do better for myself, impress the ladies and stuff y'know. Did, did it work?”

Kiku smiled and held the blondes face in her hands . He was a prideful guy. Always was. Boastful and cocksure for as long as she knew him. She never thought that he'd ever take someone's words so serious. Kiku kissed him gently.

“I am indeed impressed...I always was impressed. You changed yourself for your health and that's amazing, but...I've had a crush on you since we were sophomores Alfred. I don't need to be impressed by anything, I'm attracted to you in any form.”

Al looked heart-stuck. He was playing with her but her unbidden praise caught him off track.

“Woah, Kiku, I-” Kiku pressed a finger to his lips.

“I...I've been wanting this for years, Al, please.”

Kiku raised her arms. Al caught on quickly and lifted the crumpled tank top off. Fuck, oh fuccckkk, Al felt like he got the wind knocked out of him. She had nothing underneath the shirt. She was sitting there in all her glory. Pale, glowing and untouched. She was perfect. Soft around the edges. Airbrushed and pink.

“Holy shit.”

Kiku giggled and kind of covered herself awkwardly with her arm. Al frowned and tried to soother her arms down. The did and she pushed out her chest slightly as she did so. Alfred wanted to believe she was doing it on purpose. She leaned back on her hands, back curving forward towards Alfred's hands. Alfred locked eyes with her to get some sort of permission. Kiku smiled . Al tentatively reached out and barely touched the soft swell of her breast. She shuddered slightly but said nothing. Al took it up a notch and cupped both of her breasts. She wasn't bursting at the shirt seams by no means like a lot of the other girls they knew, but it was her. She might've had a smaller cup size, but, Alfred was enjoying himself. Boobs are boobs. And hers, hers were so so soft. They were soft and warm and Kiku began to react so nicely to him. She began to moan softly and move into the hands as they kneaded into her flesh. Playing with her nipples teasingly through his fingers. He pinched and twisted the hard pink nubs between his thumbs and forefingers. Kiku gasped and groaned.

Alfred moaned quietly. He was feeding off all her delicious reactions. Kiku grasped one of Als hands and bucked her hips. Without the pillow she had nothing to find purchase on as he assaulted her chest. Every reaction set him further on fire. Each gasp and cut off whine pushed him farther up the wall. Her pale porcelain skin was worked to a deep blush by his hands.

It wasn't enough

He leaned forward and took one of the dusky pink nipples into his mouth. Kiku squeaked in surprise. He swirled his tongue around the nub, occasionally teasing it in between his teeth. Kiku whined and threaded her long fingers into Alfred's hair, gripping it tightly when he began to really bite. He bit into the plush soft skin of her breast. He bit her collar bones and sucked. He bit her neck, working her into a frenzy. He didn't stop until she was covered in spots and she was limp and spazzing in his arms.

“Al, Alfred.”

“A-Ah? Sorry I got carried away Ki-” Kiku pressed her finger back to his lips. It lingers this time though, tracing his puffy wet lips, and teased the seam of his mouth.

“I, I would be embarrassing for me, if I was done in by just this.” Al looked lost once more before he laughed in realization and crashed down on the woman in a crushing hug.

Kiku squealed and laughed. They held each other in a sweet embrace. Their hands mirroring each other as they traced the segments of each other's spines, feeling every indent and groove. She could feel his heartbeat against her breast, could feel how hot his skin was, could feel his arousal a breath away from her own.

“Kiku, if that wasn't an invite, holy shit, I don't know what is. Did you mean that? Could I make you…? Just by kissing and biting you?”

Kiku nodded and Alfred groaned against her throat.

“Alfred,” Kiku breathed against the shell of his ear. “Aren't there other ‘parts’ you'd rather pay attention to?” Kiku pulled herself away.

She guided the hand from her back around her chest and lead it down her stomach and back up to the inside of her thighs. Stopping inches away from her heat. She looked up at Al from under her eyelashes and let go, hoping Al caught on. A noiseless ‘oh’ passed through Alfred's lips. He bit his bottom lip and continued up the inside of the brunettes warm thigh. Kiku shook gently as she opened her thighs to accommodate Al's body mass as he moved closer. Al choked on a held breath as he brushed his fingers against the lips of Kikus sex. Her hips lurched up toward the fleeting touch.

“Holy shit Kiku. Your-You’re so hot, “ Alfred crawled a little bit closer and pressed his thumb against Kikus clit. Kiku hips bucked up and she choked out a moan. “So, so fucking hot.” Al whispered.

His breath was hot against Kikus ear. Al pressed his thumb down more and moved it in a circular motion. Kiku fell back onto her hands and threw her head back. Alfred had to hold back a groan as he saw one of his best friends rock up against his hand.

Hundreds of emotions gushed to the surface. He wanted to, had to give this woman every bit of pleasure she deserved.

He removed his thumb. Kiku mewled for a moment before Alfred slid a finger inside her. Both moaned at the sensation. His fingers were thicker than hers and she was tight. Tight, soft, and so much hotter than he'd ever imagined.

“Oh, oh fuck, Kiku. You're so tight.”

Alfred pushed his finger deeper and wiggled it slightly. Kiku moaned out a gasp and wrapped her arm vice-like around his shoulder. She used or tried to use, the position to rut down against his hand. Alfred was enthralled, so enthralled in fact that up until this point he had neglected his own arousal. It was brought back to his attention when Kiku bumped his crotch with her knee while she was moving about. Alfred hissed and was now violently aware of his erection, as was Kiku now. Purposely this time she slid her knee against his groin. This position had her straddling his knee while awkwardly trying to keep his fingers inside of her. Alfred found it endearing as well as extremely hot. Even if it was awkward and unsatisfying.

The blonde pushed his index finger along his middle finger. Kiku grunted, voice pitching into a quiet scream when Alfred scissored his fingers apart.

“A-al~.” Kiku moaned breathlessly and clutched helplessly at the blonde's shoulders.

Al's erection was borderline painful as it strained against the clothes he still had on.

Kiku was shuddering and thrusting her hips wildly, keen on fucking herself open on his hand. Her back arched and she gripped Al's wrist in an attempt to ground herself. The action stopped Alfred From moving his anymore and slowed her hips to a near halt.

“What? Did I do something wrong?: Al quickly tried to withdraw his hand. Kiku laughed and smiled.

“No, no, not the case at all Alfred.” Kiku smiled bashfully. Her eyes wandered downwards before shooting to somewhere else.

“Hm?” Al tilted his head, “Ohhhhh,” He laughed and leaned back. “Ready for the beast I see?” He proclaimed in flagrant mock boistery.

Kiku tried and failed to suppress the surge of laughter that bubbled out of her chest. Al laughed along with her. It felt natural. Laughing naked and breaths apart. When the laughter stopped and silence fell over them again a much more comfortable air surrounded them.

Kiku wrapped her arms back around Alfred's neck and pecked the blond's cheek.

“Yes, I am,” Kiku giggled. “I am ready for the ‘beast’.”

Alfred was bursting at the seams with joy. She was perfect. She was perfect in every way. He kissed her. He kissed her with every ounce of passion he had to show. Kiku keened and reciprocated as such. With one hand holding him up he pulled down the last remaining piece of clothes between them. He sighed against Kikus lips as his erection was finally released. The girl returned the pleasant sigh when she felt his sex slide against hers.

“P, Please Al.”

Alfred held his composure the best he could as he breached Kikus insides. Her arms back were drawn taut and her fingers dug into his back like vulture claws. Alfred was a restrained pent up mess. Kiku was purring, her body humming and tight with excitement as he pressed all the way in. Alfred was losing his mind. He had to wait. He had to give her the time to adjust. The heat, the heat and the tightness, almost like a vice, was driving him quickly insane.

Kiku, sweet Kiku was so beautiful and enrapturing. She was barely recognizable. A whole new person unfolding themselves to him. He ran his hands across her back and kissed her throat until he felt her arms fall slack.

“Are, are you-?” Alfred began to ask tentatively, choking on each word that passed his lips.

“Yes!” Kiku shouted, momentarily scaring Al. “Yes, yes,” She repeated, hurried and quietly into the skin of his neck.

Heat rushed to the blondes head. He felt light headed. He, maybe too eagerly, pulled near all the way out before quickly thrusting back in. Kiku squealed and Alfred mumbled apologies under his breath. She felt so good, too good. He paused, fearing he was close to losing his composure and then again pulled back to start a steady and slow pace. Kiku made quiet noises and arched into Alfred's chest like a cat.

He could feel her heartbeat against his chest. Beating wildly like a hummingbird's wings. She moaned softly, quietly, breathlessly into the junction of his neck and shoulder. Her breath was hot and uneven. She was warm putty molding against his body, she fit him like a puzzle piece. He had never felt so complete. He leaned back so she could control the speed and tempo, he couldn't be trusted not to lose himself in her. Also, this way he could focus on touching her without the worry of dropping or misplacing her. Kiku took the freedom immediately and found that the new angle allowed her to take the blonde even deeper than before.

“Fuck! Kiku,” Alfred groaned. Kiku was picking up the pace. Her voice got louder the faster she went. Alfred grabbed handfuls of her ass to help her keep up the pace. “God, Kiku, Kiku, you're so hot. So fucking hot.” Alfred rambled

Kiku threw her head back again and Alfred followed. He bit and licked, in varying degrees to gauge her reactions. Anything that was able to leave a mark drove the brunette crazy.

“So, so fucking beautiful.”

Alfred off balanced Kikus pace with his own. Kiku didn't seem to pay it much mind thought. She was more focused on losing herself in his embrace. He wrapped one arm back around her to pull her back against his chest.

“I always thought so. Ffuucckk.” He cried out. “ you're so tight, so wet,” He paused to hastily and sloppily shove his tongue into Kikus mouth. “I love you Kiku, love you so much.”

Kiku moans and laughs, giddy, between breaths.

“I love you, I l-love you too Alfred,” Kiku attempted a more refined kiss, with fail. “You, y-you feel,” Kiku bit her lip on particularly sharp thrust. “You feel s-so good.” Kiku whimpered breathlessly.

It was said so cutely, almost shyly and full of such pure raw emotion.

Alfred felt his dick throb, positive that Kiku felt it too. Kiku ran her fingers through Alfred's blond hair, pulling softly as she did so. Alfred hisses and bucks up harshly. When she accidentally pulls too hard both moan loudly. They shared a knowing look, asking each other what they already knew. Kiku tested the waters and pulled his hair harder. In return Alfred tilted his head back with her hands, eyes closed an mouth open and agape. She continues pulling, spurred on by the rough moans coming from deep in Alfred's chest. He grapples at Kikus back as his thrust grow progressively wilder.

“I'm, I'm, cl-close Kiku. I, I-” Alfred cried out, frantic.

“O-on me.” it was barely audible.

“W-what?” Alfred slowed in confusion.

“On me, c-come on me.” Kiku repeated louder. She dug her fingers deeper into his scalp and slapped her ass against his hips brutally.

“Fuck!” Alfred nearly screamed.

He pulled the woman up and off him as quickly as his orgasm ripped through his body. The line of white hit Kikus stomach. Kiku didn't have a chance to recuperate as she was toppled by the large body man.

She was about to question what he was doing but when her mouth opened all that came out was a high pitch squeal. Alfred had three fingers immediately insider her, pistoning as fast as he could go. The other hand was spreading cum across her torso lewdly. Kiku gasps and hides her face in her hands. She feels Alfred's breath ghost over her breast before wet warmth envelopes it.

“A-Alfred, slow down.”

“No, I want to see you, want to see you come Kiku. I want to see you come on my hand. Come on Kiku, don't you hear how wet you are? Come, please.”

To emphasize his point he speeds up. The obscene noises coming from her own body made her head swirl. Kiku screams as a jizz covered hand strokes her clit in tempo with the fingers inside her. Her body runs tight as her orgasm brutally overtakes her. Her body is rod straight and jittery when it finally passes.

A moment passes. Nothing but the sound of their panting and deep breathing. Both of them were breathing sporadically, dazed, shuddering and sated. Kiku finally moves her hands and lets her body down to the floor. She caught the blonde gazing down at her pointedly. She became very aware of how she must look and felt very self-conscious about being naked and trashed in front of her crush. Boyfriend? It was hard to say. Things had moved in very rapid succession in the last hour.

“Alfred, you're staring.” Kiku mumbled. Alfred snapped out of his reverie and looked up at the ceiling. His face and neck broke out in a red flush.

“Ah, sorry, you just uh,” Alfred glanced down. “Oh shit, you're just uh,” He runs a hand through his sweat-drenched hair. “You just look, so freaking hot. I'm trying not to uh, to get hard again.” Alfred laughed awkwardly.

Kiku looked down at herself again and kind of laughed. She supposed she did indeed look a little provocative. She crossed her ankles and leaned back on her elbows to gaze up at the blonde.

“I get that same feeling when you look at me like that.” Alfred blushed and covered his face.

He laughed and sat down on the hardwood floor.

“Gosh, how are you a real person.”

Kiku laughed and picked herself up into a sitting position. She grabbed the nearby forgotten comforter and wrapped it around herself.

“Better?”

“Nah, cuz I know what's under there now. Know what all the good stuff looks and feels like and what not.” Alfred joked and winked.

Kiku smiled and pulled the blonde into the cocoon of the comforter.

“We have a lot of time to catch up on these things,” Kiku got up and pulled the other to the bed, laying down and taking the other with her. “But you need a moment yes?” Al smiles.

“Just me?”

“Ah, yes, I could use a minute or two. My legs are still shaking.” Kiku giggled.

The two laid next to each other, wrapped around themselves, silently drinking in each others warmth. It was like that until Kiku couldn't take it any longer. A question pressed to the forefront of her mind, insistent to make itself known.

“What….what are we now?” Alfred's face fell a bit.

“What..do you want us to be.”

“I love you, Alfred, I meant that. I would like to be with you.” Alfred let out a comic sigh

“Oh thank god,” He laughed loudly. “ I thought you were asking that because you might be having second thoughts or something.”

“Of course not.”

“Much better than those 2D guys right?” Kiku busted out in a loud laugh, before turning red and giggling to herself.

“Ahh, yes, of course, by a mile.” She leaned in to kiss him. No longer heated, shy, but filled with docile affection. Alfred's heart swelled. He kissed her forehead and held her tight. A 2nd round didn't happen, didn't need to. The two lulled off to sleep. Content, happy, and peaceful.