#Thx Snow I'm dying now

[kotofvi]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo      Age: 27       Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory.   Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for: ��Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it.  My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.)  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.)  Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.  How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.) 

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here! 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it!  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar! 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft! 

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it!  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!  

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.  

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all!   - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don’t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything! 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse. 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?:  The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke.  - What do they value in a person?:  Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?:  Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time.  - Which themes bore them?:  Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general. 

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar​  [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!! 

[whaleofatjme1920]

hii! so great to see the creepypasta fandom alive still!! i'd like to req a romantic nsfw matchup! :) i hope this is enough info

-firstly, i'm 22, she/her and bisexual but preference for men. around 5'2-5'3 and pretty pale. kinda sick looking ngl (thx anemia) and currently my hair is dyed like a silvery blonde kind of color? was more lavender ish before. my hairs pretty long (and annoying, gets tangled easily bec heat dmg), maybe bottom of rib length w sidepart/curtain bangs, and big gray eyes. i'm pretty into wearing a full face of makeup too! so eyeliner, lipstick, falsies, the whole thing. body wise, dcup committee, hip dips n thick thighs (i have a thigh tattoo as well, its a cat:))

-style wise i fluctuate constantly, but mostly i wear sweaters and neutral colors constantly. my style does tend to lean towards dark academia the most i think but i do have a softspot for more grunge inspired fashion and also pastels. you'd most likely either see me in a longsleeve and skirt or a sweater and jeans tbh

-personality type wise, i'm an intx 6w5 ! my astro stuff is aries sun, taurus moon, leo rising and gemini venus !! i was in college for library science major w classics (history) minor but dropped it and now i'm working on getting a certification for floral design.

i'm extremely opinionated and outspoken when its something i need to be vocal about, but i am first and foremost an introvert. i get extremely anxious in social situations, but sadly also have a slight temper. this leads to a bit of a confrontational attitude because letting bad situations sit just upsets me more LOL. but i do like to joke around with those close to me and i tend to ramble a lot about my special interests/new things i've learned about quite often if allowed. i can be blunt and very sarcastic usually, and to people who don't know me it comes off a bit rude? idk ALSO i am always tired, no matter how much i sleep.

-relationship wise, i am a bit clingy but not physically. i do love physical affection (preferably more so in private) but my love language is definitely quality time. even if it's just sitting together and doing a task like reading/writing or watching something. being around them makes me happy. i am pretty big on communicating thought so if theres an issue or insecurity, i will bring it up. i'm a bit of the jealous type, and vocal about boundaries in my relationship, and mutual respect is very important to me.

LIKES: i love slasher films go figure, but i'm also the biggest sucker for rom coms and historical movies (like jane austen type, not war ofc.) my music taste is anywhere from rock 2 indie n pop. (my favorite artists though are mitski, hozier, twst, and the nbhd.) baking is one of my favorite activities, and i also love comfy games (animal crossing, minecraft etc.) fall is my favorite season + i'm addicted to iced coffee and the white monster (only flavor i've ever had but extremely caffeine dependent) i love reading and writing n also photography. the sound of rain and the look of snow falling make me really happy. my comfort drink is either earlgrey tea with milk and sugar (maybe honey too) or a big cup of hot chocolate with lots of whipped cream.

(halfway through + i feel like this is TOO MUCH WRITING ALR IM SORRY)

-i dislike the ocean/lakes etc,, i'm just not fond of being in them but they're nice 2 look at. i hate bugs too LOL

AAA hope i have enough of the regular stuff but heres nsfw:

-very much a sub. i've tried to dom before and it's not for me. rough stuff is definitely up my alley!! i'm v into being choked. i love size diff to an extent (height wise) but considering my height its not that hard to be pretty much taller. breeding 4 sure. degrading is really nice but also love praise. possesive!!partners!!own my heart. i just rlly like to put my partners in a position of power also w titles bec i like having smth to call them ( uncomfortable w mommy title to a fem partner though, but daddy is open for male p ) and uHHHH yeah i think thats it. maybe marks too?? also rlly like nice hands LMFAO

thank you sososo much if you decide to answer mine whenever you're able to get around to it <3

Your matchup is… Eyeless Jack!

Read more because of NSFW :}

In general:

Everything about you seemed to match up with EJ but it’s always the kinks that solidify it lmfao. SO, let’s elaborate on why.

What he likes about you:

Physically speaking, EJ adores your eyes and your hair. They’re both so captivating and beautiful to him and he can just get lost looking at you. Your height is alo really cute to him because the dude is fucking tall, probably like 7 ft lmfao. He appreciates the aesthetics of makeup even though he doesn’t understand much about it, so your full face of makeup also lowkey fascinates him. I’ll get,,,, I’ll get into the other stuff about your body in the NSFW section. EJ just adores your sense of style as well, even when it changes around. Grunge and pastels are weak spots for him ngl. He loves your personality as well and wants to know all about floral design. He likes that you’re opinionated as well. EJ is really big on spending time together as well and he’s also pretty physically affectionate in private. I can also see EJ being into communication, because he’s just y’know, trying his best and wants you to see his best as well. All of your likes match up so well with him!! I would be here all day listing them, but just know that you and EJ match up so well in terms of your likes.

General cute things:

ALRIGHT SO, going off your likes, i don’t think EJ actually really likess war movies? He’s secretly a softie to Jane Austen stuff ngl. He likes your music choice and will y’know, listen to it with you. Is he into baking? Not really but he will absolutely eat whatever tf you make. Sometimes EJ has a bit of a sweet tooth. He’ll also cuddle with you on the couch as you play your comfy games, he’s not too big on games himself though. Just wants to spend time with you, y’know? EJ loves fall too and will go on leafy walks with you and enjoy the scents of nature. He’s such a sucker for fall too. Pumpkins, spooky stuff, all of that atmospheric stuff makes him lose his mind. He likes hot coffee but will get you iced coffees and monster. He will read with you! Just those quiet little dates y’know?? He will also teach you calligraphy, because I really do think EJ has beautiful penmanship. He will make your comfort drink for you on snowy days, and cuddle with you when the rain is falling. Just WHOLESOME stuff.

You two as a couple & NSFW:

EJ is a BIG protector. Like, huge. I have no other way of saying that. Like, the man is a bit possessive, he’s actually a lot possessive, but he’s a protector through and through. He will give you his hoodies and sweaters for you to wear if you’re ever cold! He also likes you being bathed in his scent so like,,,,,,, He understands that you’re a bit of the jealous type but lowkey so is he. So please talk with him about that. It seems like you prioritize that stuff though so like it works lmfao. He will do whatever he can to calm you down and keep you steady in social situations that might make you uncomfortable. Just wants to keep you safe. He’s also a tad confrontational? But, he’s really respectful about it. He loves to listen to you ramble and he loves to hear you talk about things you are passionate about. EJ doesn’t mind you being blunt and sarcastic either tbh. He’s exactly like that as well.

So here’s what did it. It’s literally always the kinks that do it. He adores your body. Your breasts are a favorite, your hips are a favorite, your thighs are a favorite, literally everything about you is a favorite. He likes your thigh tattoo and will trace it with his clawed fingers. Lucky for you, you cannot pay EJ to sub, he’s 1000% a dom! He will choke you with his big, clawed hands, and is very, very rough in general. He will cover you in bites and claw marks, love bites dripping down your thighs and neck. He will mark you!! EJ is 7ft tall so like, you got the size difference thing down really good here. He’s also big into breeding too lmfao like I hate bringing up the knotted dick thing again but it’s making a comeback here, he will push that thing in and just CUM. Won’t stop unless he’s filled you to your absolute brim, towering over you, growling and hissing as he ruts into you still connected. You can call him whatever, daddy, master, it’ll all make him hot and bothered. He’s good at praise and degrading, honestly degrading over praise though. EJ also has really nice hands. Overall, it’s the kinks that do it time and time again.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, thank you so much for sending in this ask! The creepypasta fandom is still very much alive, I just like to think a lot of us grew up alongside it. You gave me a wonderful amount of info! Sometimes, people send me like a sentence and I have no idea wtf to do. The more detailed, the better, and you really came through! Furthermore, you sound really, really pretty omg? Like, I adore makeup and just don’t wear it for myself besides eyeliner (RIP my monolids) and mascara but people who wear full faces have ALL MY LOVE. It’s so beautiful. Also your tattoo sounds super cute as well! Everything about you is cute as all hell, and that’s coming from both me and EJ. EJ absolutely adores everything about you and will just LOVE YOU endlessly, and in more ways than one. ;) As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!

[lovespelt]

SIENTJKRV OK SO—

BKDK HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON AU

BUT INSTEAD OF HICCUP AND ASTRID AS IZUKU AND KATSUKI.

KATSUKI IS STOICK AND IZUKU IS VALKA.

I JUST IMAGINE THAT ONE SCENE FROM THE MOVIE—

Katsuki cupped Izuku's cheeks, looking at him with a soft, fond, awe-loving stare that Izuku wasn't familiar with— and whispered. "You are still as beautiful as the day that I've lost you.."

AND THE PLOT WOULD BE ALL LIKE, IZUKU GOT TAKEN BY THE DRAGONS SINCE HE WAS A LITTLE BOY WHILE PLAYING WITH KATSUKI.

AND KATSUKI SWORN TO AVENGE HIS (first Love's) CHILDHOOD FRIEND'S LIFE AND TRAINED TO BE NEXT IN BEING THE CHIEF BCZ IZUKU "DIED".

INKO AND YAGI MADE HIM THE NEXT CHIEF BCZ THEY KNEW THAT WAS WHAT IZUKU WOULD'VE WANTED.

AND THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT IZUKU WAS ALIVE AND WAS LIVING AND LEARNING ABOUT DRAGONS.

He was 13 when he was taken, Katsuki and Izuku would still be friends while growing up bcz they don't have quirks here, even tho Izuku is weak, Katsuki still tries to protect him, Katsuki is still friends with Izuku bcz he didn't get much praise from his peers like the canon.

But it really messed up his head when Izuku got taken and that was the start of his hot headedness.

Idekrnrkkdk ERI AS HICCUP??? KOUTA AS ASTRID!!!

Eri was born with a horn shaped lump on her head after Katsuki became Chief (he's like,, 22 now)

But she wasn't his biological child, she was actually at another island, her father—chisaki, didn't like her appearance and he tried dropping her on a cliff.

But at this time, Izuku finally bulked up a bit and is living and familiar with dragons after 9 years and he learned everything about them and learned how to fly with them too and when he saw this man dropping a child from a cliff, he swooped in and saved Eri from the fall, the bottom was foggy so Chisaki couldn't see but he thought Eri was already dead so he walked off, not realizing there was a big ass dragon opening it's mouth to shoot fire into his whole body lmao

After that, Izuku tried raising Eri for a year with the dragons and realized that this isn't a suitable place to raise a child well and he was heartbroken by this realization and decided to maybe, give her near a village.

Perfect timing that Katsuki was out hunting in a nearby woods when Izuku was flying his dragon to go to the nearest village but then he saw this tall strong blond male hunting, he seemed to target a big deer but then he stopped when he saw two baby calves nearby and cursed out loud, making the deers run away.

And Izuku thought he was a perfect parent and all that without realizing that it was Katsuki.

So he left Eri (he hugged her tight one last time— his little snow) within Katsuki's sight and looked behind a tree. Ofc Katsuki saw the child and was like "it's parent's must've left it here to die bcz of the strange looking bump on it's forhead." And angrily took her back to his village, Izuku sighed in relief, knowing that the person that took her was a nice morale one.

And he left.

And Katsuki is all like, I'm just keeping you around till I find you a good enough family and one day Eri is all like Papa to Katsuki and Katsuki is all like Fuck shit looks like I'm a father now. And adopts Eri officially. And Katsuki mellows out again.

Eri didn't know why she had a fascination for dragons and wanting to learn about them and decided to use a journal and Katsuki was anxious (scared—) bcz his little girl acted just like Izuku, he still had Izuku's journals somewhere safe bcz he's a secret sentimental bastard and all that.

People loved Eri and shit but they were worried that there was gonna be another Izuku incident bcz of it and yada yada yada.

Gobber is Kirishima.

Tuffnut and Tuffnut as Katsuma and Mahoro.

Fishlegs as one of Tsu's little brother.

And Snotlout as that spoiled kid from the "I wanna see your cute face. Ft. Todoroki and bakugou" Episode.

Kouta is definitely Astrid.

And Eri kissed his cheeks Instead and bla bla bla.

So after most of the movie plot and Katsuki just accepted that Kouta is gonna be part of their weekend dinners from now on and the dragons when his daughter had almost died bcz of him.

They met Izuku again.

Eri learned how to do the flaming sword, she's like, 16 now. (And Izuku is like, 39 at this point but let's just make him look like he's in his mid twenties)

And Izuku revealed his face to her and was all like, "Eri..?" And Eri was all like "How did you know my name???" (And Izuku low-key blushed coz that was the name he wanted for his child to have when kacchan asked. He still didn't know that it WAS Katsuki is her dad tho.) He slowly removed his mask and kneeled to cup Eri's face and was all like "I could never forget you my little snow."

And it all clicked from there. Where she got her fondness for dragons, her little drawings of green bunnies (bcz of Izuku's mask HAHA) , her crybabyness, and her Notebooks.

She kind of adapted his traits shen she was 2 and she kind of connected some dots after she remembered her dad saying that she acted like her first love alot.

And she asked him. "...Are you Deku?"

Ofc this surprised Izuku and he was like "how did you know that name??" And she was all like "My dad talks about his first love to me because the way I acted reminded him, my dad is Chief Bakugou Katsuki from birth." And Izuku's eyes widen and he was all like "Kacchan is the Chief now?!"

Ofc they reunited at last after Katsuki tracked down where her daughter was and tried attacking Izuku coz he was wearing a mask and he did not recognize him until he was pinned to the ground (damn this guy is strong wtf?!) And Eri is like NO! STOP DEKU! THAT'S MY DAD.

And Katsuki froze and the person above him whispered "Kacchan..?"

And that ladies and gentlemen, was the third time in his 40 years of living, crying.

(first when Izuku was taken and second when he thought Eri died)

So yeah, (first Love's) Childhood friend reunion!!!

They talked alot and it was the first time Eri saw his dad smiling and laughing alot with someone that isn't her. And she just casually mentioned about how Izuku is her dad's first love and all and both became a blushing mess and stutters.

(wow never in a million years did she thought her dad would act like this,)

So they went back to Berk on their dragons (Eri did not loose a leg, and her Dragon is a Light fury instead!!!)

And Watch everyone doing a reunion for Izuku and bla bla bla and all that (we aren't gonna make the whole Stoick dying part, no fricken way,)

And both now reunited childhood friends tried to flirt with each other and being oblivious to both of their antics and the whole village find this amusing and just kept quiet while Eri thinks Kouta would have a permanent hand shape mark on his face for facepalming too many times because of both of her parental figures that act like fucking teenagers hahahaha.

Like that's their whole plot lmao, hope you enjoy!!????

(this is unedited and rushed coz it's really late where I live and I'm sorry for any possible spelling errors, it just struck me in the middle of the night and I'm too tired to reread and edit it lmao, I'm sorry,thx for reading!!)

this is rly rly cuteeeeeee. i’ve never actually seen httyd 2 or 3, but i loved this- the bits w eri and jouta were adorable too 🥺🥺🥺 i would so totally read this fic!

[a-hundred-jewels]

ch 2: The Pear Tree

Words: 5000 ish

Summary:

Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make. - Dracula

notes and fic under the cut

heyyyyyyyy guys im not dead uwu

speaking of dead, lets post another chapter of my vampire fic

BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, THIS FANFICTION IS SPONSERED BY SQUARESPACE

wait no, wrong button.

THIS FANFICTION WOULD BE INCOMPLETE WITHOUT A HUMAN RIGHTS-THEMED PETITION (or two....), so you can read about vampires AND help make the world a better place! For reasons that will make sense if you exist in the world, today's petiton (from MoveOn.org, one of my favourite petition websites) is focused on supporting the people of Ukraine. Sign here to urge the US to join with allied countries and defend Ukraine. Already signed that one? Click here to stand against violence towards peaceful protesters in Ukraine. For more information on the crisis in Ukraine, check out this list of resources made by the Boston Globe. In this corner of the internet, we stand with our Ukrainian siblings and demand justice for them.

And now, back to the author's notes.

On a purely technical, story-telling level, I want to mention that I have changed Batty's cause of death. I apparently wrote in chapter one that she was Turned after nearly dying of influenza, but had forgotten about that when writing chapter two, where her Turning is actually kind of relevant. Oops. Edited that bit out of chapter one.

This chapter makes mild use of a couple Penderwicks headcanons made up by other people. Sources and credits will be linked in the end notes.

Please, for the love of god, leave me a comment. With the notable exception of my Draco Malfoy x Elmo smut fic, the only comments I really get these days are from my beta reader, and, no matter how much I love them and value their support (shout out to waterbottle_stickers), it feels like i'm screeching into a blank void sometimes. so do me a solid and make that void screech back today, yeah? thx.

Oh yeah, also Jane's using they/them in this chapter. planning to fuck around with what pronouns jane uses throughout this fic, as I see them as an "all pronouns" user. the joys of writing self indulgent therapy fanfics :D

This chapter is dedicated to mortifyingideal, a good omens fanfic writer who co-writes what is probably my favourite fanfiction to grace this earth (aside from The University-Life Fairies of course, because nothing will ever top that), Loosely Ballroom and who responded to a comment I left on it (even tho that fic hasn't updated since halloween 2020) and made my fucking day. Do yourself a favour and check out their fics! Especially Loosely Ballroom and time for you and joy to get acquainted, which I read during my crackfic phase. So yeah, thank you mortifyingideal for makng me smile numerous times with your writing and for bringing me and my beta reader even closer (they are also into good omens and we've had many a conversation around loosely ballroom). if you see this for some reason, then i hope you have a wonderful day.

Disclaimer: meh you know the drill by now. at this point, jane is basically mine, anyways. but, yeah, thanks jeanne birdsall for creating her.

enjoy whatever this has turned into!

It was snowing again. For the second time that week, Gardam street was covered in a layer of snow several inches thick, and the branches of trees were laden thick. Rosalind was in her room, wrapped in a warm shawl and sitting by her open window. Through the still-falling snow and dim evening air, she was watching Tommy Geiger, whose own window was open as well. The Geiger house, where a family of immortal (1) werewolves lived, including Tommy and his older brother Nick, looked quite different from the Penderwicks’, with green-painted stucco that contrasted the Penderwicks’ red wooden siding, and a weird circular window that just kind of showed up one day(2) and stood alongside a balcony with an iron railing on the Penderwicks’ house. Nevertheless, the houses undoubtedly belonged together, just as Tommy and Rosalind felt they did with each other.

[Footnote #1: Don't ask why.]

[Footnote#2: It was almost definitely Nick's fault.]

The two of them had been sitting and talking to each other, as they did many starry nights, when something strange had flown into his room. Rosalind could see him holding it now in his lap, and frowning.

“I’m really not sure what it is,” he said, absentmindedly worrying his bottom lip between the his sharp canine teeth. “I thought it was a bird who’d flown in by mistake at first, but it’s so covered in mud and leaves I can’t tell. It must have crashed into one of the old squirrel nests in the gutter.”

Rosalind leaned out of the window as far as she could, trying to see. “Is it breathing?”

Just as Tommy held the thing up to his ear, it shivered and let out a piercing scream, in turn making Tommy scream, and then Rosalind. The door to Rosalind’s room burst open, and Jeffrey and Jane rushed in. “What? What happened?” Jane put their hands on Rosalind’s shoulders, and Jeffrey passed through the wall to go over to Tommy. Just as he arrived, the thing in Tommy’s hands stopped screaming and, with another shiver, transformed into Skye. Tommy jumped back, with a loud “What the fuck ?” and Jeffrey breathed an audible sigh of relief.

“Oh, it’s just you,” he said as Skye levitated off the windowsill, looking amusedly at Tommy and Rosalind’s terrified faces. “I thought something was wrong!” He turned to look at Rosalind. “Why must you two scream?”

Rosalind gave him a look. “I wasn’t screaming, ” she said, at the same time Tommy cried, pointing at Skye, “They started it!”

Skye nodded. “Oh, that. Sorry. I fell into your window without being invited in, and was sort of burned upon entry. I would have avoided it but it turns out it’s kind of hard to control your muscles in a body you’re not used to.” They shrugged, inspecting themself for damage. “No harm! I’ll just put some Aloe Vera on my arms later. Not nearly as bad as the Denny’s incident. Jane, how long did I fly before I fell?”

Jane held up an old pocketwatch that Skye had been given before they were Turned. “About four minutes!” they said excitedly. “You’re getting better!” With that, Jane dove out the window, joining Skye and Jeffrey, and the three of them floated off into the night. Rosalind and Tommy looked at each other.

“Should we be surprised?” Tommy grinned, looking across at her with raised eyebrows. Rosalind sighed and floated over to his window, putting her elbows on the sill. His hair was getting long again, and thicker in the way that meant the full moon was coming soon. “Probably not,” she sighed, settling down beside him and leaning her head on his shoulder. “Skye’s been eating a lot of flies lately, like Batty does when she spends time as a bat.” (3)

[Footnote #3: A few decades after her Turning, Batty started to use bat transformation as a coping mechanism for what she called her "too-much days." This astonished the rest of her family greatly, having not realized vampires could actually do that.]

Tommy gave her a fond smile. “Your family is so weird,” he said, playing with the ends of her hair.

She smiled back. “I know. It’s kind of beautiful.” She gave him a small pleading look, and he invited her to come in through his window.

Meanwhile, Skye, Jane, and Jeffrey had made their way to the end of the street, where old Massachusetts houses melted into Quigley Woods, a private haven. It had been a long, long time since the Penderwicks, and the Geigers for that matter, had been teenagers, but in the woods they felt like children once more. They felt human.

“This tree here,” Jane said, as they did everytime the three of them came into the woods, “when I lean against the trunk and watch the branches sway against the sky, it looks just like a tree I loved as a child in France, before I was Turned.” Skye and Jeffrey watched them, as they always did, and felt the sweet melancholy of longing for a past that was once theirs.

“It’s not so much that I want it back,” Jane said, meaning the old tree, or their old self, or perhaps both. Something about this night was dipping them into nostalgia like a beeswax candle. They’d learned to go with the flow, sometimes. “I miss the way the soil smelled and the funny things I overheard when I worked at that inn, and how Pietro the sheep looked at me with such love…” They trailed off, remembering. Skye, sitting on the ground, was watching them, waiting and ready for when Jane came back. Jane blinked, still staring off into the distance. “But I wasn’t happy then, they said, “and I am now.” It was a complicated feeling snaking through Jane’s heart. Longing for something they didn’t want. “I suppose, in a way, that I’m thankful for that horrid old Cardinal Richelou for Turning me.” They laughed drily and looked down at their bare feet on the dry soil. Massachusetts wasn’t France, but they did love it. And that, they thought, as they looked up into Skye’s soft blue eyes and Jeffrey’s messy, translucent hair, was more than enough.

“This seems like a bad idea,” Jeffrey said from where he floated up near the light fixture. A few days had passed since the bat incident, and everyone had gone out for the night except Skye, Jane, and Jeffrey. “Like, I never thought I’d say this, but there’s this new thing called the Interweb–”

“Shut up Jeffrey, this a great idea,” Skye said confidently, their hand gloved and halfway down the toilet drain.

“Yeah, we have plenty of bathrooms!” Jane chimed in. “Besides, this one smells weird, so we never use it. Now, it will have a purpose!” Jane beamed at Jeffrey and he sighed. It wasn’t that this wasn’t fun, but the worrier in him was really starting to wonder how he wound up agreeing to help Skye and Jane Penderwick, two of his favourite people in the world, plant a stolen pear tree in the second floor family toilet.

“Yes! I got it!” Skye have them a triumphant grin. It had been their job to install the blockage at the bottom of the toilet so that the roots of the tree wouldn’t just grow down into the pipes. They’d been sure to give the roots plenty of room, though, and so the long-armed Skye had been chosen for the job. Thanks to their dad’s interest in botany, Skye and Jane were even able to consult some books about the needs of pear trees. According to their research, the tree would probably live. “Ready with that dirt, Jane?”

Nodding, Jane levitated downward, holding the giant bag of dirt they’d pilfered from the unused garden shed behind the house. (In the 1970s, Iantha had gone on a gardening kick. It did not go well). “Do you think it’ll still work? It’s kind of old,” they said while carefully pouring some dirt into the toilet. The trio had already removed the lid, but had decided to keep the seat on. “For the aesthetic,” Jane had said. Now, they looked through it at the dirt. “It’s dirt,” Jeffrey said. “I don’t think it matters how old it is.” He was starting to get more on board with this idea. The pear tree in the corner just looked so pretty, with its white blossoms and delicately gnarled branches. He glanced next to it at that small pit of compost he’d procured from the Penderwick kitchen with a surge of pride. (4)

[Footnote #4: Batty had been teaching him telekinesis, and this project had been his first time officially putting the newly acquired skill to use. He'd only dropped the compost twice!]

Yeah, okay, this was a great idea.

Skye took stock of their activities so far, checking things off a list they’d written on their arm. “Okay, so we blocked the drain, and put some of the dirt in, and remembered to leave the rest to put around the tree once it goes in.”

“Don’t forget the compost!” Jeffrey crossed his arms petulantly. “Trees need nutrients, Skye.”

Skye nodded, chewing their lip. “Right, yeah. We’ve got the compost and the rest of the dirt ready to pour in around the tree--oh shit, did we poke small holes in the block for drainage?” They looked up at the other two with a slightly panicked expression. “Shit, shit, I already stuck it in and everything-- ” Jane sighed and planted their hands firmly on Skye’s shoulders.

“I poked the holes. Stop panicking. This was a fantastic idea, and we’re going to pull it off.”

Skye nodded, and their breathing slowed down. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

A few minutes later, the three of them were wrangling the tree in and pouring compost. It was a state of cooperation and harmony that they rarely got to experience, being as stubborn as they are, but which they loved.

“It’s beautiful,” Jane said at last. Indeed it was. The tree rose proudly out of the toilet like it had always been there. It was small, very small. The corrupt CEO from a nearby town that Skye had stolen it from hadn’t been taking care of it correctly, which was the reason Skye had originally taken it. Its size made the large old toilet a perfect fit, and, if it got too big, it could always be moved to the bathtub.

Jane breathed another sigh. “So lovely.”

The siblings has been under the impression that they had at least another hour to plan how to reveal their project to the rest of the family before anyone came home. Rosalind had gone over to the Geigers to play mahjong with Tommy and his parents and to help the family prepare for their monthly werewolf transformation, which was coming up. Batty had tagged along to do witch things with Nick’s wife Laura, who was a werewolf born into a line of witches (5), and Keiko, Laura’s apprentice. The parents, in turn, were seeing an obscenely long opera, and Ben and Lydia were seeing the midnight showing of Cats (2019) so that Ben could submit a scathing review Cameron’s newspaper. (6)

[Footnote #5: These witches also happened to have a strong connection to leeches. As such, Laura had inherited the Family Leech, whose name was Mark and was apparently quite foulmouthed--that is, if you spoke leech.]

[Footnote #6: Since Lydia's discovery of The Pun several decades ago, she'd been an integral part of Ben's reviewing career.]

It should’ve been an empty house.

But, just as Skye started enthusiastically sweeping dirt (they liked to clean) and Jane halfheartedly picked up the soil bag, looked at it, then put it down in a new spot (they did not like to clean), Jeffrey hissed from where he floated near the door. “Shhhhhhh. I hear footsteps!” Skye and Jane stopped and listened. Downstairs, in the front hallway, they heard the distinct sound off Batty’s canvas sneakers kicking the door open like she always did when she was carrying something big.

“Why’s she coming home early?” Skye whispered.

“Do you think she’ll notice…you know?” Jeffrey gestured wildly at the dirt littering the hallway outside the bathroom. They could close the door to hide the tree, but that dirt was going to take much longer to deal with.

Just then, there was a second set of footsteps then a third.

Jane, recognizing the sound of Laura’s heeled boots and Keiko’s weird Doc Marten Mary Janes, looked at the other two frantically. What do we do? they mouthed, desperately shoving the bag of soil under the sink. Skye and Jeffrey merely shrugged.

“–can’t believe you have so many spellbooks!” Keiko was saying downstairs. “I haven’t even heart of Agnes Nutter, but she sounds wonderful!”

“She is!” Two baking tins clattered onto a table and Jane felt their stomach growl as the smell of Nick’s banana bread wafted up the stairs. There was the sound of Batty and Keiko tumbling up the stairs together, with Laura following at a more reasonable pace.

“It’s said that she gave a cruel man the flu just by looking at him! And he totally deserved it.”

Skye and Jane gave each other a look and Jeffrey pretended to swoon, making the other two smother laughter behind their hand while they all hid behind the bathroom door.

Luckily, Batty and Keiko were too caught up in each other’s conversation to notice the trail of dirt leading away from the closed bathroom door, instead continuing to chatter all the way up to the third floor, where Batty’s room was. Laura, on the other hand, stopped. The three outlaws froze. (7) Laura looked again at the first, the mysteriously closed door, the even more mysteriously quiet bathroom, then rolled her eyes, chuckling to herself, and kept walking up the stairs.

[Footnote#7: Just like your author, who is currently freezing their tits of in a bloody snowstorm.]

In Batty’s room, the girls were met with two rabbits and a ferret excitedly nuzzling their hands when they opened the door. The dogs that usually accompanied them were still over at the Geiger’s–though he’d deny it heavily, Mr. Geiger was exceptionally fond of Batty’s dogs and kept dried chicken strips for whenever they visited. Naturally, Hound, Feldspar, Sonata loved him. Batty gently lay Queen Latifah around her shoulders and sat on the bed while Keiko softly stroked behind the bunnies’ ears.

“Batty, they’re so soft! How do you not just spend all your time holding them?”

Batty giggled, feeling the childish joy she always did around her furry children. “You should have seen me when I first got them. It was a really cold and rainy day, so Ben and I put on these awful trench coats and big hats–just in case the sun decided to show its face–and went to experience Cameron during the day. We went to the animal shelter and I locked eyes with Yaz and Carla and just knew I was meant to be their mother.” She laughed. “I think I stayed in my room with them for over a week.”

Keiko looked up at her with soft eyes. “Well, they clearly love you. Can I give them a treat or something?”

Batty fished some parsley in herpocket. “Sure.” She handed it to Keiko, expertly ignoring how soft the pads of her fingers were and the little freckle on her pinky, and looked her over. She seemed young–twenty, maybe, or twenty-one–but, then again, so did Batty, and she’d been born in the late 1800s. They didn’t know each other all that well, but liked each others company and talked whenever they saw each other at Laura’s witch meetings.

“Are you…” Batty gestured to herself just as Laura came sauntering into the room. (She’d been to visit Cagney The Growth and give him some red shoes she’d recently acquired). “…you know?” Batty let out her fangs.

Keiko opened her mouth to respond, but Laura cut her off, giving Batty a look of mock disappointment. “ Elizabeth Jasmine Penderwick , are you truly telling me that you only just began to wonder if this girl is a lesbian?”

Batty buried her face in her hands. “Laura, that’s clearly not what I meant.”

Keiko laughed and pulled Yaz onto her lap. “Yes, I’m a lesbian. No, I’m not a vampire. Older than I look though.” She grinned at Batty, whose face had become quite pink. (8)

[Footnote #8: She was deeply regretting last night's extra-large Leg Of A CEO. Why couldn't she have fed just a day earlier?]

Laura snorted. “Keiko, don’t be so modest!” She turned to Batty. “She’s better at immortality potions than anone I know! Even better, she make a killer Bagel Lasagna.”

Batty looked at Keiko admiringly. “You never told me that! How old are you? And to think I’ve been regaling you with all my little tales of forest and music magic when you know how to live forever!”

Keiko propped her chin up on her hand, using the other to pull down Batty (and Queen Latifah) so their knees were touching. “But I like your stories!” she said, squeezing Batty’s hand (who, in response, reddened even further. All that damned blood). “And, to answer your question, I’m 112.”

Batty played it cool and leaned back, stroking Queen Latifah’s little head. “Ha! I’m still older.”

“No you’re not! I bet you aren’t even fifty,” Keiko teased her happily.

“I am! 136, to be exact. I was Turned in May, two days before my birthday.”

Keiko held Yaz to her chest. “How?”

“I was trying to help this snake escae from a zoo, since, you know, zoos were much crueler back then. This guy had said he would help me if I could just get the snake to a back storage room. Naturally, it was a set-up and I was bit–by the guy, not the snake. I only escaaped because Rosalind happened to be out at that same zoo and she found me. Still has the snake, too. She named it Fimbriatta after the rose and now he lives in her room.” She pointed at the wall behind her headboard. “Right next door to mine.”

Incredulously, Keiko looked up at Laura, who was poking through Batty’s woefully unorganized book collection. Laura nodded, leafing through the dog-eared pages of Howl’s Moving Castle. “It’s true. Tommy was there and he told me all about it.”

“Well, zounds, I’m jealous now.” Keiko leaned forwards to see the small puncture woulds on Batty’s neck. “That’s a lot more interesting than my story. Laura’s leech clan came by my town and my dad had just died, so I joined the caravan. When I found out they were witches who could communicate with giant leeches, I figured it was more interesting than anything I’d done and if she could do it,” here Keiko gestured to Laura, “so could I.”

Laura rolled her eyes good naturedly. “And just like that, I got stuck with a fifteen year old apprentice who stole potion ingredients to make scones.

This time, it was Batty who laughed, and Queen Latifah who made a chattering noise in her imitation. Keiko crossed her arms. “Laura, I asked you to be my wingwoman. ” Keiko blanched, suddenly, and she lost her easy-going smile. “I mean–”

Batty’s laughter died on a self-conscious diminuendo. She froze and looked at Keiko, who wasn’t meeting her eyes. “Your–your wingwoman?”

Laura, meanwhile, sighed, and shook her head. “Goddamn lesbians,” she whispered to nobody in particular. “Yes, yes, I’ve done my job. Keiko likes Batty, Batty likes Keiko. My, who could’ve guessed?” There was a beat of silence in which both Batty and Keiko flushed and became very interested in the inchworm-green carpet. Finally, Laura cleared her throat. “Right, well, I’ll be taking my leave,” she announced.

The wooden door opened and Laura left the two girls to have their moment. She padded down the spiral stairs, still shaking her head and trying to remember if she and Nick had ever been that bad. Probably not, she reasoned, seeing as Laura couldn’t keep her own secrets to save her life and Mark, the rude leech, was always telling her things he’d gleaned from other people’s facial expressions. If the two hadn’t been so upfront about their feelings, Mark would have quickly run out of patience. Then again, Batty and Keiko were so young, not even two-hundred years old! No wonder it took–

All thoughts of whirlwind romance and sparkling youth abruptly curtsied and faded from Laura’s head as she stifled a yelp at the scene in front of her. Skye and Jane were halfway out the, now open, door, carrying a massive bag of soil between them. Jeffrey was there too, levitating fallen dirt from the floor into the toilet, where, and this was when Laura really started to sigh, a tree had apparently sprouted.

Just as she locked eyes with the gardeners three, the front door was once again flung open, and three dogs rocketted up the stairs in seach of Batty. Rosaind had brought them (and Tommy) home, and, reght behind her, were the parents, who’d come home early from the opera after a performer was arrested for tax evasion mid-ballad.

“Well, goodness, that was quite the performance,” Laura could hear Mr. Penderwick saying as he pulled off his coat.

“Shame they cut her off before that high note,” Elizabeth agreed. She helped Iantha out of her cloak and the sound of comially large sunglasses hitting the overturned cauldron by the door reverberated throughout the hallway. Within seconds, Jane and Skye were trying to lug the massive bag of soil back into the bathroom, but the decades-old bag finally gave out and dirt spilled everywhere.

Laura shook her head and started toward the second floor to help (Jeffrey, too nervous to become corporeal, was trying to levitate the mess into the bathroom, which was as good a sign as any that things weren’t going well), but had to stop again when a very excited Tommy and Rosalind flew past her, saying something about “getting Batty to help” and “seeing how the walls lined up.”

“Batty has all sorts of books on this thing–oh, greetings Laura, forgot you were here!–it was actually her idea in an odd sort of way,” Rosalind chatttered away, all but floating up the stairs (a feat that, technically, she could’ve accomplished if she’d felt like it). At least they, like Batty and Keiko before the, were too wrapped up in each other to notce the bathroom situation.

Belatedly, Laura realized as Rosalind and Tommy reached Batty’s door and Rosalind turned the brass handly, now was maybe not the best time for an interruption. If Rosalind had been thinking clearly and Tommy hadn’t been grinngin so wide his canines were showing, she’d have remembered the look on Batty’s face as she left the Geigers’ at Keiko’s side and maybe would’ve thought about why the door was closed, or about the general lack of Keiko in any other part of the house.

But Rosalind wasn’t and Tommy was, and Laura was too late to stop either of them, so she watched with a sinking heart, impromtu toilet gardens temporarily forgotten, as the door was flung open…

…and crashed into a floating, entangled, and kissing Batty and Keiko.

Whoops.

Rosalind jumped backwards with a surprised yelp and Tommy lost his goofy smile. On the other side of the door, twin blushes bloomed on the girls’ cheeks, before, catching Rosalind’s eye, Batty straightened, and shouted something at her.

No noise was made. Various articles of what Keiko liked to call “witch stuff” (unlit candles, spellbooks, a deck of possum-themed tarot cards that had been a 120th birthday present from Skye) tumbled off their shelves and, soundlessly hit the rug on Batty’s floor. She jumped, looking upset, when they did and said something again to Rosalind, who could not hear her. Keiko, who, unlike Batty, seemed to be coming around to the point of finding all this sort of funny, held Batty’s hand and pulled her aside for a silent conference.

So, Laura thought to herself, the two of them were smart enough to put up a sound barrier, but not smart enough to lock the door?

That sounded about right.

Just as Batty and Keiko waved their hands, dispersing the sound barrier, there was a cry from downstairs. Laura sighed. This was really starting to get old.

She turned to look, and saw that Elizabeth had finally discovered the bathroom tree.

The Penderwick house dissolved into chaos. There was Elizabeth, “trying to figure out what the flying fuck they’d been thinking,” planting a tree in the toilet, Skye and Jane railing back that they were “thinking about contributing to a greener future and also nobody uses this bathroom anyway, and we consulted one of Dad’s books, thank you very much.”

Rosalind and Batty fared slightly better, being that they were naturally calmer people and that it took a very short time for Keiko and Tommy to catch each other’s eyes, Keiko to laugh at Tommy’s sheepish expression, and Tommy to start laughing at Keiko laughing.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK ON THE DAMNED DOOR?”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU LOCK THE DAMNED DOOR? ALSO, AGAIN, I’M VERY SORRY.”

“I. WAS. DISTRACTED.”

Laura sighed and turned around, deciding to maybe let them all sort things out themselves. Behind her, the arguments continued.

Rosalind shouted back, “SO WAS I, BUT FOR SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT REASONS.”

“AND WHAT WERE THOSE REASONS?”

“TOMMY AND I ARE MOVING IN TOGETHER.”

“THAT’S FUCKING AWESOME, CONGRATULATIONS.”

“THANKS, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.”

In the kitchen on the first floor, Martin and Iantha were calmly eating buttered slices of Nick’s banana bread and chatting about the snowstorm that was progressively worsening outside. They waved to Laura as she came down the stairs.

“We’re going to give them a few minutes before we go sort things out,” Martin said with a smile, pointing upwards. Laura smiled back and shoved her boots on.

Lydia and Ben were in for an interesting welcome party when they came home.

In the end, it was all fine. It always was. The Penderwicks, as everyone around them had long ago learned, was a family that thrived on its own chaos and chaotic love. It took, per usual, all of four minutes for Elizabeth and Skye to tire of shouting at each other (Jane had dropped out after one) and for Elizabeth to concede that Skye, Jane, and Jeffrey were adults, and if they chose to convert their floor’s only bathroom into “whatever this is,” then so be it, but that they should’ve consulted with Ben and Lydia, who also had their bedrooms on that floor.

Skye, Jane, and Jeffrey, in turn, decided not to mention that Ben and Lydia were both intimately aware of the tree’s presence and that, if it weren’t for Jeffrey’s persuasive skills, they might have ended up with a weeping willow, or perhaps an oak tree. (9)

[Footnote #9: "See, cause this part already juts out from the house a touch, we can cut a hole in the ceiling when the tree needs more space!" Lydia had said. "It'll be a piece of cake, I swear on Mom's life--well, on her afterlife. You know my friend Alice--the blonde girl with all the chickens--she's real handy with an electric saw, now let me tell you..."]

Before long, the spilled dirt was collected into a spare cauldron to be given to Fimbriatta the snake, who liked to burrow. (10) Tommy was enlisted from upstairs to help Jane lug it into Rosalind’s bedroom. Skye’s excellent cleaning skills and Jeffrey’s limited telekinesis abilities were then put to work cleaning up with remaining mess, which they did enthusiastically.

[Footnote#10: "He's like a big worm!" Batty said fondly, standing at Rosalind's side. "Is he not a worm?" Rosalind's brow's furrowed in confusion, trying to remember all the new advancements that had been made in biology since she'd been Turned. "I thought snakes were worms." Batty took Rosalind's hands in her own. "I think this family needs a set of encyclopedias."]

On Batty and Rosalind’s end of things, they opted to stare each other down with flailing arms and exclamations that became less and less angry.

“IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE YOU DON’T RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES WHEN YOU DON’T KNOCK.”

“YOU’RE RIGHT. I’M SORRY I LET MY EXCITEMENT GET THE BETTER OF ME.”

“THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU.”

“AND I YOU, SWEETHEART."

By the time Iantha brought up banana bread and Keiko had given into the urge to flip through one of Batty’s fallen witch books, (11) the two were comfortably in each other’s arms.

[Footnote #11: Upon closer inspection, it proved to be Wendy Xu and Suzanne Walker's Mooncakes. It didn't have spells like Keiko had been expecting, but was a book so magical that, to a watch,, holding it was akin to drinking a very large, centering cup of tea, or getting a power up in one of those Video-Games Nick and Laura had found out about recently.]

An hour later, Batty and Keiko were sat down in the living room with Ben and Lydia while they tried to form comprehensive sentences and recover from Cats (2019) enough to write a passable review. The rest of the family was similarly occupied, sitting with them and watching Jane make notes on their siblings’ states of distress in case they ever needed it for a book.

[Footnote #12: "I can see it now," Skye said later, when they and Jane were alone in their room. "Sabrina Starr Rescues the Rum Tum Tugger." They gestured grandly, like an over-confident interior designer, before Jane tackled them to the floor for slander against the heroine of their earliest works.]

Once Lydia had taken enough deep, soothing breaths that she could look Azimov (Iantha’s cat and Sonata-the-dog’s best friend) in the eye without needing to blink a lot, Rosalind and Tommy stole away upstairs. Dawn was fast approaching, and the blackout curtains would have to be closed soon. But, for now, they could still enjoy the view of snow falling outside while they tumbled up to Rosalind’s room.

“Our room,” Rosalind said, half to herself, half to Tommy, “once they’re joined together.”

Tommy pushed the door open and twirled Rosalind around. “It’s kind of already our room,” he said, looking at his and Rosalind’s matching trench coats draped over the desk chair and a couple of his mystery novels on the nightstand. Likewise, several of Rosalind’s long gloves, her basketball, and the special red dress she’d bought in 1834 were all somewhere in Tommy’s room. Rosalind followed his gaze and gave him a soft smile, knocking her head against his shoulder.

“It really is.”

They lay on the bed, side by side, and stared out the window, through the falling snow, into their future.

Together.

In terms of writing Batty, I took inspiration both from my own anxiety disorder and also this post by the wonderful @bisexualcharmanderenergy proposing that Batty might have Autism. Neither of these things were suuuuper relevant in this chapter (it was mostly just her and Keiko being gay) but I plan on doing more research for upcoming chapters. Let me know if you have any suggestions (for writing Batty or for this fic in general) in the comments--I'm always open to new ideas, and I've been really enjoying taking this closer look at Batty.

In another case of "this isn't really relevant now but it will be in upcoming chapters," I've been inspired by ramblemadlyon/@hanchewie and her lovely Jewish Geigers headcanon, and plan to encorporate that in some way in upcoming chapters. If you want a more solid example of this headcanon in fic, read hamotzi by ramblemadlyon. Same thing applies here: let me know if you have any suggestions! I'll be doing more research. For the sharp-eyed who also happen to know a bit about mahjong, you may have guessed this already.

Also, to my massive surprise, possum tarot is actually sort of a thing. not really sure what to say about that but I sure was surprised.

Massive thanks to The Nice and Accurate Guide to Footnotes by Vigs for helping me with the footnotes on this chapter, which were a BITCH to do. seriously i don't know what I was thinking, putting TWELVE footnotes into this chapter alone oh my god. never again.

Tales of the Vampiric, Ghostly, or Otherwise Unholy Residents of the Penderwick House - ch 1: Sleepless Nights

Ao3

Words: 1630

Summary: "What if the Penderwicks were a bunch of trans ace vampires who lived together in a big strange house a la What We Do In The Shadows?" said me at 2am.

Tags: Rosalind Penderwick/Tommy Geiger, Martin Penderwick/Elizabeth Penderwick Sr./Iantha Penderwick, Skye Penderwick, Jane Penderwick, Jeffrey Tifton, Rosalind Penderwick, Elizabeth "Batty" Penderwick, Lydia Penderwick, Ben Aaronson-Penderwick, Iantha Aaronson-Penderwick, Elizabeth Penderwick Sr., Martin Penderwick, Tommy Geiger, Hound Penderwick, Feldspar (Penderwicks), Sonata (Penderwicks), Yaz (Penderwicks), Carla (Penderwicks), Original Snake Character, Original Ferret Character, Cagney Pelletier, Mrs. Tifton (Penderwicks), Non-Binary Skye Penderwick, Non-Binary Jane Penderwick, Trans Penderwicks, Trans Rosalind Penderwick, ok theyre all trans im just leaving it at that bc that would be a lot of tags, Trans Characters, Miscillaneous Townspeople, Vampires, What We Do In The Shadows AU, Sort Of, like it could very much be considered that, The Penderwicks Are Vampires, Mrs. Tifton is Cisgender, Mrs. Tifton is a Ghost, Mrs. Tifton is a Cat, Jeffrey is a Ghost, Cagney is a Mysterious Growth, They/Them Pronouns For Skye Penderwick, She/Her Pronouns For Jane Penderwick

notes and fic under the cut

Welcome to my self-indulgent therapy fic! Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. Chapters will probably come out within the vague month of october. If not, then whoops. Anyway.

This first chapter is dedicated to me, without whom this fic would not have been possible.

Disclaimer: Clearly, these are not my characters. However I like to think that Jeanne Birdsall is an all knowing immortal being who can see what I am writing and knows in her heart that it's all canon. Thanks, Jeanne.

Enjoy!

There was something special about that house on Gardam street. “Vampires live there,” a teenager said, not looking up from his copy of Breaking Dawn. “Like the Cullens, except they’re all trans.”

“That’s why the house is painted red!” his friend added. “The vampire thing, I mean. One of the people who lives there--you know, the young one with pretty hair who danced at the community center last winter--said it’s symbolic of the blood they’ve spilled and a reminder of who they are.”

Most of these statements were, in fact, incorrect. The bright red exterior of the house was because it had been Elizabeth Penderwick’s favourite color at the time they repainted, and because the paint store was having an oddly specific sale. (Footnote: Let's just say a new hire had made some mistakes with the monthly supply order. End of footnote). And not all of them were trans. One of the cats was cis.

However, it was true that vampires resided at the Penderwick House on Gardam street. Nine of them, to be exact. There was Elizabeth, who’d changed her name at least three times and was originally some early century English noble; her husband Martin, who would be a lot better at botany if he acknowledged that technology had indeed progressed in the past fifty years; and her wife Iantha, who could name any star visible from Earth from memory, but needed a cookbook to make rice without burning it.

Rosalind had been with them the longest, (though they’d only been able to legally adopt her some time in the twentieth century) and she was the only one of the children to be originally from England, as after she got Turned and joined up with Penderwicks, the family had begun to travel. Skye and Jane were the next to join, from Scandinavia and France respectively. They looked nothing alike and bickered constantly, but were secretly each other’s favourite people on the planet. (Footnote: Jane called it nonbinary solidarity. Skye called chance and proximity. Either way they were Siblings. End of footnote). Batty was next, as well as her ever growing litter of carefully Turned animal children. Then Ben, who thought movies were the greatest thing ever invented, and finally, Lydia, Turned at the ager of fifteen while being an overworked Vaudeville performer who’d run away from home. (She was also “the one with the pretty hair who danced at the community center” mentioned earlier). (Footnote: And these are just the vampires. There were also three dogs, two rabbits, a ferret (all Batty's), a cat (Iantha's), a snake (Rosalind's), two ghosts, and a mysterious growth named Cagney with 702 genders who'd lived in a room on the third floor since before any of them had been born, and only ate red shoes. Needless to say, it was a full house. End of footnote).

The family was big and strange and had been living in Cameron for longer than the collective memories of the townspeople could recall. They’d been friendly neighbors, reclusive weirdos (whatever suited them best at the time), had gone to school, gone to work, ate people, for hundreds of years. Now, though, it was daytime and they were all in their rooms.

At one pm, Skye felt a rustle on their bed. They stirred, slightly, then fell straight back to sleep. The alarm wouldn’t go off for hours and they would need to be well rested for the night’s hunt.

There was another rustle. Skye could have sworn someone poked their foot. They kicked in the general direction of the affront, grinning into the black silk pillow when they heard a yelp and someone mutter “little shit.”

“Go haunt someone else. I need sleep,” Skye mumbled. As they said it, though, they slid over to one side of the bed and pulled back the covers, letting Jeffrey crawl in beside them. He was trying hard to be corporeal right now, and not fall right through the bed or accidentally inhabit Skye’s body. Even after being a ghost for hundreds of years, though, it was difficult for him. Before the Penderwicks had moved into the ancient Penderwick House (previously known as “Arundel”), Jeffrey had floated aimlessly around the grounds, with only a highly judgemental cat for company. It had taken him a while to warm up to the family and to see the point of things like being visible and occasionally even tangible. They hadn’t pushed him, but it was nice to have a friend

“Mmph,” Jeffrey said, burrowing closer to Skye.

“Not fair, you’re melding partially with the mattress!”

He flicked Skye on the nose, semi-successful in keeping his fingers separate from their flesh. “I do what I like, you blood-sucking fiend. Also, it’f more comfy this way.”

Skye rolled their eyes behind closed eyelids. “Spoiled. You didn’t wake Jane when you came in, did you?” They inclined their head slightly to see Jane’s bed across the room, which was outfitted with eggplant colored sheets and matching canopy that she’d made herself.

Jeffrey snorted. “The French Revolution couldn’t wake Jane.”

At that moment, Jane began to rise from her sheets in the creepy stiff-as-a-board way she preferred, speaking in her low, resonant, “drama” voice that was usually reserved for victims, or royalty, or both.

“To the surprise of all but herself, the vampiress reveals that she has been awake for three and a quarter hours, using the guise of sleep to avoid socializing.”

Skye sighed. “Of course you did. Now come over here.” The rest of the house was still asleep and neither Skye nor Jane had ever succeeded at Sound Barrier charms, so it was best to not be shouting across their shared bedroom.

Jane wrapped herself in her purple quilt and levitated across the room in a tangled mess of limbs, plopping dowm beside Skye. For a moment, the three lay in comfortable silence. Then, Jane reached cross her sibling and mussed Jeffrey’s hair (or rather, she would have, had Jeffrey made his head a consistency other than “slightly condensed cloud,” but Jane decided not to mention that.)

“I had been deep in imagining I was dining with Oscar Wilde when you came in, Jeffrey. For a moment, I thought it was that horrid cat--back to bite off another of my toes! Imagine my relief to find it was just a ghost!”

Jeffrey laughed, grinning up at the ceiling. “From what I could tell, Mrs. Tifton seemed to heartily dislike the toe of yours she did eat, so I wouldn’t worry too much.”

“She may be a monster, but she’s not a self-destructive monster,” Skye chimed in, frowning when they saw Jeffrey wince. “Sorry, too far?”

“A little,” Jeffrey replied.

“Noted. Won’t happen again.”

Jeffrey smiled, his usual self again, and they resumed their conversation.

Now, while Skye and Jane were atrocious at casting sound barriers (and, if we’re being honest, pretty much every other form of magic), Batty Penderwick was the best in the house. She had to be, for her room was shared with three dogs, two rabbits, and a ferret--all of them immortal--who she’d acquired over decades of her life. At the moment, in a room on the third floor of the house, Batty was hovering in the darkness. On one side of the room, Hound, Sonata, and Feldspar (the dogs) were sleeping in a den of pillows, while Yaz and Carla (the rabbits) munched on dandelions in their crate. Queen Latifah (the ferret, and a new family member as well) reclined around Batty’s neck, utterly undisturbed by her mother’s floating.

On a table in the corner, Batty’s record player was set up, the needle carefully situated on a groove of The White Album, softly playing “Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey.”

Batty was meditating. As one of the younger vampires--not even 200 years old!--and one who’d had sensory issues even before she was Turned, Batty still found her highly tuned immortal senses annoying from time to time, when they would crowd and overwhelm her brain. Thus, she and her animal children had become accustomed to having a peaceful float in the dark several times a week, while the record player softly serenaded them with whatever Batty was currently obsessed with, even when the music was, objectively, not even remotely relaxing.

The song ended and the record went on to the opening chords of “Sexy Sadie.” Batty sighed (she didn’t like this song), and opened her eyes, floating over to stop the music. She should get some sleep. Her head was mostly soothed, at least enough so that she felt content to turn on her fairy lights (one oof humanity’s greatest inventions as far as Batty was concerned), and crawl under her covers, settling Queen Latifah in her own bed under the nightstand.

But, just as Batty was drifting off, there was a soft knock on the door.

Batty waved her hand to dispel the sound barrier, and called out “come in.” The door clicked open, and her oldest sister padded in on bare feet.

Rosalind’s room was right next to Batty’s and, when the latter had first been Turned (after nearly dying of influenza in 1870), she’d spent many a sleepless day curled up next to Rosalind, being regaled with tales of 14th century England, where Rosalind had grown up. Now, Rosalind crawled into Batty’s bed.

“Why’s your room always warmer than mine?” she muttered by way of explanation, then promptly fell asleep. One or the other of them did this at least once a week. It was nice.

Batty smiled, her head now full warm and happy without the buzz of extra noise or sensation or too-bright colors, and curled up beside her sister, asleep at last.

[americasferrera]

1-100? Pls and thank you so I'm so annoying. I love you 💗💗

you’re definitely superrr annoying. i love you too 💗

The meaning behind my url: im in love w laura hollis and i want to give her all the hugs

A picture of me: im ugly so no

How many tattoos i have and what they are: im 10 pls

Last time i cried and why: bc i hate myself lmao

Piercings i have: regular ear piercing only 

Favorite band: red hot chili peppers!!!

Biggest turn offs: how bout i dont answer this 

Top 5 (insert subject): you didnt insert anything so i’m gonna make my own rules and say top 5 ships. 1. Karmy 2. Vauseman 3. Hollstein 4. Rilaya 5. Bechloe 

Tattoos i want: i want one similar to katie stevens’

Biggest turn ons: im not answering this here but literally ask me in private and ill tell u if u actually wanna know smh

Age: almost 15

Ideas of a perfect date: idk man ive never been on one

Life goal: make as many people happy as possible

Piercings i want: a cartilage one

Relationship status: taken by a nerd

Favorite movie: i have a lot. the princess diares or phantom of the opera ig. 

A fact about my life: i was on the local news once in second grade so im basically rlly famous

Phobia: so many. crossing the street, heights, failure.

Middle name: mckenzie !!

Height: 5′1″

Are you a virgin? ummm im not even 15 so yeah lol i am

What’s your shoe size? like 10/11

What’s your sexual orientation? your neighboorhood bisexual ;)

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? no, only perscriptions

Someone you miss: my cat shes in the living room ):

What’s one thing you regret? this one thing.

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: laura prepon my looooord

Favorite ice cream? vanilla or chocolate im a basic bitch

One insecurity: my personality as a whole

What my last text message says: it’s a meme 

Have you ever taken a picture naked? look,,,,

Have you ever painted your room? mhm

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? yesss

Have you ever slept naked? tmi but yes 

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? maybe,,,

Have you ever had a crush? yes 

Have you ever been dumped? no 

Have you ever stole money from a friend? no wtf 

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? um no

Have you ever been in a fist fight? i would get beaten up no

Have you ever snuck out of your house? yeah only once 

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? like real, true feelings? no

Have you ever been arrested? obviously tons of times ofc

Have you ever made out with a stranger? nope

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? no

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? yeah, like i said only once.

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? fuck you…yes

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? yes lol i hate school so fucking much

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? i mean when i was little with a friend lol

Have you ever seen someone die? no

Have you ever been on a plane? nah im too poor for that lmao

Have you ever kissed a picture? i dont think so

Have you ever slept in until 3? honey ive slept until like 6pm

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now? what

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? mhmmm i luv it sm

Have you ever made a snow angel? i live in fucking south texas no

Have you ever played dress up? all the time!!

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? umm….

Have you ever been lonely? yes ??

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? i think school like one or two times

Have you ever been to a club? oh yeah totally i love clubbing

Have you ever felt an earthquake? no

Have you ever touched a snake? like once i luv snakes!!!

Have you ever ran a red light? this implies me driving, which i never wanna fucking do. but even if i did i wouldnt break the rules so.

Have you ever been suspended from school? no !!!

Have you ever had detention? no i would kms if i did

Have you ever been in a car accident? no thank goodness

Have you ever hated the way you look? all the time!!

Have you ever witnessed a crime? this one time when a certain s o m e o n e told me they didnt like cheetah girls…i was so appalled.

Have you ever pole danced? nah 

Have you ever been lost? in all senses of the word, yes

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? ive ever been outside of my state smh 

Have you ever felt like dying? aka my life??

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? l o l yeah

Have you ever sang karaoke? ummm heck yeah?? obvi

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? yeah :/

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? no god blesssss but i totally would be the person to do that.

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? im a child of god pls

Have you ever kissed in the rain? no i hate the rain ):

Have you ever sang in the shower? lmao yes do u know who ur talking to

Have you ever made out in a park? no

Have you ever dream that you married someone? i think so yeah

Have you ever glued your hand to something? i remember in like 7th grade i glued me and my friends fingers together it was hell

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? no

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked? ummm like what does “partially naked” mean

Have you ever been a cheerleader? no 

Have you ever sat on a roof top? uhhh no im not ab to die

Have you ever brush your teeth? ?????? yes ??????

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? my life lmao im a baby plus i honestly just dont like scary movies

Have you ever played chicken? we had a game in choir called chicken? is that it? or is this like some other game idk

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? no and if i was i would probably cry lmao i cant swim

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? ummm no lol have you seen me my face be lookin like cassandra from dw

Have you ever broken a bone? surprisingly no but im v clumsy

Have you ever been easily amused? 25/8

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? yeah like literally every day mainly im awful and laugh at like everything

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? noooooooo

Have you ever cheated on a test? ummmmm

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? yes ):

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? yes

Have you ever give us one thing about you that no one knows. okay a lot of my friends know this bc i told them but here’s a random fact: one time i was on my teacher’s personal laptop bc i needed find some poems for competition, and i typed in “p o” and the first fucking thing that pops up in the google reccomendations is pornhub like that means he gets on it frequently fuck my life it was in the middle of class and i wanted to kms

k thx 4 the ask bye