#This isn't like. /neg on my art im REALLY proud of it

[ranvwoop]

I'm not going to lie the art i posted earlier, tho roughly following tips on how to make anime inspired stuff, looks particularly like a canadian-produced flash cartoon imo and I am unsure exactly why

[elviraaxen]

Im a self taught artist who hoped to get into the industry. Im getting old so I might have blown it by now, and this is really my biggest challenge. As much as 'you dont need school' is being repeated, I feel like it is a complete lie.

I hardly ( like almost never) see any job listing for juniors/entry level jobs (while senior job listings are all over the place) and feel that's because all the entrylevel jobs are reserved for the school kids or family/friends of the people who already work there. I feel like I have been tricked into thinking I ever had a chance.

(I don't live in the US)

Am I being too negative?

Oh dude you nailed it! I don't like when people who went to art school say that, because having a diploma and getting first dibs on entry level jobs is a massive privilege over those who didn't go to art school. Not to mention that you need contacts to stay in the industry and the fact that said contacts are essentially only accessible behind a paywall isn't really considered by those who went to school.

With that being said though, many schools are like.. actual garbage and don't deliver on what is promised. I don't wanna talk down on any specific art schools bc i don't know the statistics but I just wanted to mention that school isn't always a one-way-ticket to the industry, because they can be really poorly established or too far removed from the industry, and you really shouldn't feel bad for not going. It's so expensive and if you don't live in a country where there's any big schools you may as well just teach yourself, like you've already done!

But as for more practical advice, if what you need to get in to the industry are contacts (bc let's be real who is hired from regular job applications nowadays), what can you do to achieve that?

Are there conventions near you? Do you promote yourself online? Are you in any group projects currently? Are there smaller studios where you live that you can contact directly? Are there meetups or anything like that for animators? I think this is what you should focus on as best as you can, and then hope something picks up!

Hopefully (I can't promise it will, but hopefully) you get in contact with someone who knows someone who knows someone that works for a studio and they just happen to need a new recruit. Because that's usually how it works it seems, especially in smaller studio circles.

But as to answer your last question, i really don't think you're being negative and I totally agree, it's a very realistic depiction of what the landscape looks like and basically always has looked like. But please don't give up!!

Do your best and love your art and be proud of the fact that you have taught yourself a very difficult craft. Even if it doesn't lead to a job in the near future, that doesn't mean never, and it doesn't mean you can't make art anyway 💪

If you have any more further questions don't be afraid to ask!

[sangre]

OOP IM SAUR SORRY tags did not load for me with my prev ask - 47, 51, 59 for satine, the loveliest rose satine 🥺🌹🎭

sixty-nine more questions for your ttrpg characters! / ask.

weuben!!!!!! (picks you up and spins you) TY TY!!!

47. what could they talk about for hours on end?

presentation! the presentation of something, especially wrt creative projects. the way an artist painted something, the way a musician composed something, the way a stage director asked for things to be done, like... because of his theater background both in the last life and in this one, he is really obsessed with the deliberate composition of things. not necessarily the way something looks per se, but just like. the way someone decided to put something together and show someone else, it's like casting your soul into light.

so like, especially with artists, satine can listen to (and talk about) why he chose to do something for a long time. reasoning, justification, meaning, you know? but this applies to things that aren't art-related too... like, talking about gender! he could probably talk about the fun about gender and what it means to him and how he presents, too. theater!!!! the self! presentation. what we present to the world and what it means to show something that we want to be seen (or better yet, recognized).

51. what element of their backstory are you proudest of?

AHH maybe the doppelganger element... it's been a couple years now that i've wanted to play the second version of someone, whether someone who died or someone who was artificially made (to be in the shape of someone). in 2015 i wrote smth with a friend that was like "guy comes back from the dead and feels like something other than himself, wants so badly to be seen as himself still, knows and is continuously traumatized by the fact that he both is and isn't"

and that's a narrative i've been exploring in characters for a while now, from a ton of different angles. but i don't think i've had a character who actively is the second-following incarnation of someone yet, so i'm excited to have finally followed through on the desire to play someone like that! especially since satine doesn't really have a complex of "please see me as the self i was" and is rather earnestly like, "i am in some ways that person, truly, but please see me as someone with my own life to live" and stuff.

it's a lot of like, navigating the urge to let go of people pleasing in/of making sure she doesn't drive herself crazy trying to perfectly be what everybody wants from her - letting go of trying to be a self that people knew, too, so it's an arc i really love and find personal for many reasons and i'm proud of its execution so far!!! so happy to be playing it in out a longform campaign.

59. what’s an element of their philosophy that you disagree with?

ohhh! well let's see. satine is .. really forgiving. and i don't think i would agree with some of the things she can forgive with enough context. this is super thought-provoking because satine has a gentler perspective of the world than i do, he's more like... lenient about rolling with the punches. i'm more indignant

i guess the obvious answer is "satine can forgive pretty lightly depending on the person, he could even forgive murder if it was explained well enough emotionally" and you look at me and the characters i like and we both laugh but you know, in real life, in practice. G:LSJDKGLSDKSDG:L maybe it's just that satine doesn't hold grudges when people hurt him but i do.

satine also probably doesn't see the point of revenge for any reason and holds no pettiness. there is like negative twelve pettiness in satine's body, he doesn't see the sense in revenge at all. i, revenge arc enjoyer, do. i definitely think it's fun to have a really forgiving character who is learning what is more forgivable, and forming stronger opinions about what to forgive and what not to the longer he lives in the real world. mind you, satine has only been conscious in this life for 3ish years. ;LGJKSHLDGL;F Oh she's got planny of time.

[ethanharli]

Requested: Nah.

Pairing(s): Asra x Top Male Reader

Warning(s): Some Angst, Flashbacks, Mentions of heartbreak, Sudden confession, Cliffhanger, Long, Sister Nadia.

A/n- I brought this over from my Wattpad, and I edited it a bit but this is the longest One-Shot I've ever made, just fifty words away from three thousand :")).

_______________

A frustrated groan slipped past my lips as I fumbled with the sleeves of my costume, it may sound silly but its true. I refuse to wear anything that could reveal my torso, besides my face of course but that's only because its not covered in ink. Now don't get me wrong, the art adoring my body is nothing but beautiful, yet some of its a bit much for the public eye, and I hate attention. Guess Muriel and I are the same in that regard. After adjusting the sleeves I slipped on my rings and emerald necklace that clung tightly around my throat, which didn't bother me in the slightest bit as I drag my pierced tongue over my bottom lip. Finishing up with a few things I quickly locked up my house and headed on my way to the palace, Nadia had invited me over for the Masquerade this year since the last one ended with Lucio and the Devil trying to take over.

I really have to admire that apprentice, their magic is quiet fascinating. With a small smirk I slipped on my wolfs mask, nothing original but the black and vibrant neon of purple and green helping it stand out, even if only by the slightest. The journey to the palace was quite fun, watching people light up fireworks and drink to their hearts content without a worry in the world. Yet it was a whole new world once I entered the palace gates, making my way towards the ball room in hopes to run into my sister, but Nadia is nowhere to be found. "Should've expected as much, she is the Countess after all" I muttered with a proud smile, if only my familiar where here to keep me company but sadly having a grey wolf in this crowd isn't such a good idea, poor thing would be trampled despite her large size.

Taking a glass of wine I sipped it slowly, enjoying the bubbly feeling of it going down my throat. Yet a slither around my ankle caught my attention, and I froze at the sight of a familiar snake, looking up at me with their cute tilted head. "Friend!" Faust cheered, happily slithering up my body to rest on my shoulders, "Yes Faust, it's good to see you again" A pained smile forced at my lips, scratching softly under Faust's chin. If Faust's here then Asra and his apprentice must be close by, I should've expected as much. "Miss you" My heart tightened at the words, forcing the breath out my lungs painfully, and here I thought I could enjoy the Masquerade without running into anyone else, but I guess even an over packed Masquerade can't hide me from them. "I missed you too Faust-" My words were cut off by a familiar voice, merely a couple feet behind me, yelling for the beautiful creature wrapped around my shoulders.

"Im sorry Faust but I really should be leaving, please don't tell Asra I was here alright?" I asked as worry started to pool in the pit of my stomach, however Faust simply tilted her head, watching me curiously. Nevertheless I made a slow pace to the exit, not wanting to rise any sort of suspicion as Asra yells a bit louder. And there he is, my savior. Putting on a small smile I took a drink from a waiters tray, walking up to Julian without seeming any bit out of place, then once the right moment hit I brushed my shoulder against his and shrugged Faust onto him, not once turning back to look at them. However I knew I wasn't out in the clear just yet since a pair of eyes followed me as I left the room.

Being out in the hall felt a lot better then being so close to him. Especially when I'm not ready to face him just yet, hell I don't even think I have the power to look at him without freezing up, how stupid of me to think I could come back here. "[Y/n]?" The sound of Nadia's voice finally got me to relax a bit, letting the tension in my shoulders drop, "Hey Sis, it's been a while" I smiled down at her, watching as her eyes soften before pulling me into a tight embrace that I gladly returned. "Where'd you go? You told me that you were going to talk to Asra after what happened with Lucio and the Devil but it was only him that came back, he said he didn't know where you ran off to and when I tried to ask what happened he'd never answer!" Her crimson eyes glare up at me as they slowly fill with tears that I quickly brushed away.

"Its okay Nadi, Im back now and I plan to stay, I missed my little sister way to much to be gone for so long" I chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood even only for a second, before she looks at my costume with not very well hidden disgust. "You've really never had an eye for fashion have you?" She sighs, taking my hand and dragging me down the hall where Portia was standing. Once her eyes met mine her face lit up in realization, "[Y/n]! You're back!" She jumped up to hug me, which I returned with a ruffle of her long hair.

"Portia could you please get my dear brother to one of the guest rooms so he can change?" Nadi smiled and Portia couldn't have answered any happier, "Yes milady! Now c'mon [Y/n] lets get you a new costume!" She cheered, dragging me away by the sleeve of my shirt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew this wasn't going to end well, and by the time I was pushed in the room with a new set of clothing I knew I was right. The clothing was way to revealing for my liking, even though the color and fabric made me look elegant and right at home. The top exposed my arms and most of my chest, the 'V' stopping right above my waist which the pants hugged tightly, yet the rest of it was baggy except the bottom of it, which also hugged my ankles nicely.

But my tattoos and scars were out in the open. The skulls, flowers, and chains that decorate my body glowed a faint blue color, as if cheering that they were finally free from my always concealed clothing.

I didn't want to wear it, every part of my mind was screaming to tear it off but I couldn't. My sister picked this out for me and this is her party, I'll do it for her if not for myself. Sliding my mask back on I headed out the room, looking down at Portia with a nervous smile as she stared at the art in wonder, "I never knew you had these!" She pouted, looking as If I had betrayed her somehow. I could only reached out and pat her head, trying to ignore the eyes that locked onto me, "Im not very fond of them, so I always hid them, Im sorry for not telling you sooner." She merely rolled her eyes and smiled at me before realization yet again broke on her face, "I need to go tell the rest you're here! Stay put!" My eyes widened as I tried to stop her, but she was already out of reach before I could, and the slithery presence was back at my feet.

"Friend!"

Fucking hell.

At that moment I felt the fight to run away slowly drain from me, I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, no matter how hard I tried. Even so, with what resistance was left in me I headed towards the garden with Faust resting peacefully on my shoulders, and stayed put by the fountain, letting my eyes flutter shut for a mere moment.

_____

My palms started to sweat as I looked down into those mesmerizing lavender eyes that watched me with an amused glint, "Asra I-" The words got caught in my throat for the millionth time now, and even I was getting impatient with myself. But can you blame me? Asra looked so majestic under the moonlight, with the stars that practically glowed in his eye's, I don't think I've ever thought it was possible to feel so relaxed and intimidated at the same time.

"[Y/n], are you okay?" He asked, his voice barley above a whisper as he slowly reached up, softly brushing his fingers against my cheek. A flutter in my chest caused the chains on my body to recoil slightly, and thankfully he didn't notice the change, "No, I just can't hold it in anymore Asra" My hand clenched tightly on my sleeves, nearly causing them to rip while Asra brushed a lock of hair of of my face. "Hold in what?" He smiled, but my eyes drifted to his chest, looking where the mark on his heart is hiding, causing me to reluctantly pull away from his touch.

It was a simple friendly gesture he's always done to calm me down, to bring me back from whatever clouded my thoughts. So when I pulled away he reached out again, slower this time, as if any rushed movement would send me away. "Asra stop" He looked a bit shocked when I grabbed his wrist, but my grip was gentle, cause I'm more afraid of hurting him than anyone else. However the negative thoughts practically swallowed my mind whole as I rejected his magic from flowing into me. The mark on his chest was the only thing I could look at, cause it reminds me everyday that he gave up some of his heart for his apprentice, to bring them back. Jealousy truly is a cruel thing.

"Nevermind, it was foolish of me to think I even had a chance" I whispered with a bitter chuckle, taking a step back I crossed my arms, turning my broken gaze towards the sky. "Forget it, just go back to your apprentice, they need you more than I do" I don't know why my words came out laced in such malice and sorrow, but they did, and that seemed to earn a glare back from him. "What's wrong with you? Ever since you found out about my deal its like all you want to do is run away from me and push me away, if you have something to say to me then go ahead and say it, but do not drag them into this."

The chain around my neck tightened, slowly crushing at my windpipe as I clenched my fists and smiled softly to myself. I knew I'd regret what I did next, I knew it would weigh on me forever, I knew it would cause me much more pain then it did right then, but I did it anyway. Ill have to thank Ilya if this works, putting on my best face I turned towards Asra and scoffed, tilting my head a bit, like I usually do when pissed off, even though this is just a lovely facade. "Don't even bother, its not like you'd care anyways, would you? All you care about is that apprentice of yours, you even gave up part of your heart for them" I let the words flow, nearly letting the tears pool in my eyes when I spat them out.

"Is that really what you think?" He hissed, knuckles turning white from how tightly he was grasping his sleeves, but I didn't let myself falter under his gaze. "Asra I don't have to think it when I know its true, we've known each other since we were kids, you can't fool me" I scoffed, glaring back into his lavender eyes, keeping that gaze was a lot harder then I thought it would be. Before he could speak up I made sure to cut him off, "You love 'em, that's the only reason you'd do it right? Because you love them? Let me guess, you couldn't live without them could you?" I rolled my eyes, looking off to my left, practically feeling his breath hitch for a moment, confirming what I needed to know.

Im sorry Asra.

You don't have to forgive me.

Because I highly doubt these chains will go anywhere, I can never be free. Even with you by my side, the one person that keeps me together, the one person that I'd risk everything for.

Im so sorry.

"Just leave already, its not like you want to be here anyways right? So just leave me alone, I don't want you here."

_____

I don't remember much after that, but I do know he left, and I was left alone to wallow in my own despair. The chains got tighter over the year, so tight that the only thing keeping me breathing is all the techniques I've learned, and the fact I learned how to hold my breath for a long while. A few tears slip past my [E/c] eyes, that Faust happily wipes away with her tail, rubbing her face against my cheek, "Friend!" She smiles, curling against me, it felt so good to have her around again. Even if this'll be the last time.

The chains tighten a slight fraction, forcing me to hold my breath. "[Y/n]?" My body tensed at how my name rolled off his lips, it felt like a distant dream, like this isn't actually happening, but one look at him and I know its real. My god has he always looked so gorgeous? Or am I going crazy? Probably both. Once [E/c] met Lavender I knew I was done, his hairs pushed back like last year though the mask kinda looks the same, with only a few added touches, and his costume definitely gets him to stand out above the rest, just a beautiful array of bright colors clashing against his mixed skin, it hugs his figure perfectly. He looks like a god amongst the light of the fountain.

"Its me" I sighed out, reluctantly turning my gaze back to my feet. I couldn't help the surprise when he moved in front of me, placing both hands on my cheeks, looking into my eyes with such relief that I could hardly believe it. His touch sent shivers down my spine, slowly I started to breathe again as the chains retract a bit, I had clearly forgotten how revealing my clothes are, cause once the chains pulled back Asra's eyes shifted to them.  "How long have you had these?" He asked, trailing his hands down to trace the marking with a soft touch, "Asra wait-" Yet the mark appears, the same one he has, just mine glowed a faint blue in the center of my chest.

His eyes widened seeing the mark, keeping his eyes on it as if it were to attack at any moment, "You've never had chains, its always been your skulls and flowers, is it because of this? Why didn't you tell me about this?" He looked hurt, the same hurt in his eyes that he had a year ago when we last talked.

"What was your deal?"

Oh how I wanted to tell him, but the chains tightened at the thought, yet I pushed through it, Im tired of lying, I'm tired of keeping everything in, Im tired of it all, "That I couldn't be open anymore, that I wouldn't be able to speak my mind freely like I once did." A small cough ripped out my throat as a blue glow tried to burn past the chains, failing miserably. "What? Why?" He looked stunned, I don't blame him, I've always been one to speak my mind and tell everyone how I'm feeling, to be honest to myself and them without a care about what others thought.

But..

"I was scared, there's something I've always wanted to say, but I never could because I've always been so afraid about what would happen after, what if it went wrong? What if I messed up? What if I said something wrong? What if you-" My mouth snapped shut as quickly as it could, now I certainly can't avoid this, cause those lavender eyes stare at me with such intensity I might just burn away. His hands slowly moved up to my neck, letting his magic aid in pulling the chain away from my neck, allowing me to breath freely. "What about me?" He asked softly, keeping his gaze fixed on mine as my hands unconsciously travel to his hips.

I guess it's now or never..

Building what up whatever courage I had left, I pulled Asra against my chest, using one hand to push his mask out the way, before claiming his lips with mine.