#This is the 'nice' version of the fic im dubbing 'another pain' for the discord peeps

[crossroadsfossil]

A promise made

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia| Characters: Wc: 5,421 Prompt: : Dabi thinks he ‘owes’ Hawks for various things Hawks has done for him and the league. Hawks, thankfully, catches on to that. Tags: Dabi has had a hard life, This is entirely due to the discord prompting something angsty, referenced prior prostitution, prostitution reference, Non canon friendship between hawks and miruko

Ao3 link:

Summary: ...is a debt unpaid.

Here’s the thing: Hawks has not had a lot of experience with relationships. It comes with being a ranking hero; you don’t have time for such things. There’s less than a handful of people that he knows of who even try to have relationships. Only one of them is a morph like himself.

Despite his general inexperience, he knows the basics.

At least, he thought he knew the basics.

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Here’s the thing: Hawks has not had a lot of experience with relationships. It comes with being a ranking hero; you don’t have time for such things. There’s less than a handful of people that he knows of who even try to have relationships. Only one of them is a morph like himself.

Despite his general inexperience, he knows the basics.

At least, he thought he knew the basics.

He’s had a few dates here and there, he’s read articles and perused books. He’s spent a significant amount of time picking Rumi’s brain when she comes over for a ‘cheat day’ where they eat an unhealthy amount of fried foods and talk.

He may live vicariously through Rumi and her multitudes of relationships. This is probably why his idea of relationships tends to skew heavily towards over-the-top doting. It may also be due to the weird not-quite-animal instincts that ran close to the surface, the ones that Rumi shared with him.

Looking back on it now, he may not have reigned them in as well as he thought.

He let instincts that he usually squashed down seep through when he was with the league. They were so much louder when around them. It was either loosen his grip on them with the league or accidentally lose control of them somewhere else, like on patrol. His poor sidekicks already dealt with that more than they should.

Expressing them just a little kept them from screaming at him over everything he saw that demanded to be fixed. Last week Toga had made a comment about wanting a heating pad or a heated blanket, he couldn’t remember. Logically, he knew this was a jab at Dabi. He had denied her a hug or something earlier that day and she was doing everything in her power to annoy him. Logically, he knew this, and despite that knowledge, Hawks still got her a heated blanket. It had small penguins and seals on it.

He left it on her bed and waited in the common area, practically vibrating with glee when she found it, her squeals of delight ringing through the base. Dabi gave him a strange look, one that Hawks returned, daring the man to call him on it.

Hawks had gotten Toga the gift solely because some part of his brain listened to her and decided that if the ‘sibling-chick-baby-bird’ wanted a blanket, he could and should provide that for her. He definitely didn’t do it expecting Dabi to break into his apartment the following Monday and do all the laundry in his flat (and wasn’t that a mortifying experience? To arrive home and find out your home had not only been broken into, but the burglar hadn’t stolen anything except a can of coffee and done your laundry. Folded it, too).

Hawks couldn’t look Dabi in the eye for a week. He had touched, no, dealt with all of Hawks’ literal dirty laundry. Hawks didn’t know the last time he did laundry, which meant it was foul and ripe. He really understood the phrase ‘air your dirty laundry’ to the fullest figurative and literal meaning now.

Three days after finally being able to look Dabi in the face without immediately turning on his heel, he overheard Mister Compress bemoan the lack of sushi. He perked up and started talking to the man about food, delighted with the fact that Compress had a palate worth discussing. It didn’t help that he had been having fishing dreams for the past week. The sort of dreams where he would wake up, confused over having human feet and not the talons he had in his dreams and a deep craving for fresh fish.

He returned the following day with sushi for the group, with an emphasis on things Mister Compress mentioned enjoying and lots of raw fish for himself. He may have also brought some non-fish items for Dabi, because it was a nice thing to do and not related to any instincts whatsoever. Neither was the deep satisfaction at seeing Dabi actually finishing his meal.

The next night, he returned from his shift to find his apartment broken into again. None of his canned coffee was missing, and thankfully his laundry hamper wasn’t emptied. What he did find was bento in his fridge. Enough for several days.

They were delicious.

He picked up a game and third controller for Spinner and Shigaraki after hearing about their interest in it. The third controller was entirely for his benefit, as using the ‘when you die, I take over’ only works if the players actually die. Spinner and Shigaraki were good at video games, and he wanted to play for once, dammit. He didn’t have downtime for things like this and he was going to enjoy it when he could.

Dabi showed up at his apartment again. He found out Dabi had broken in again as he and Rumi entered the apartment. Rumi let out a low whistle and started teasing Hawks about acquiring a partner who couldn’t put up with his shit. Or had admitted defeat and hired a maid. Or partner in a sexy maid outfit.

She teased him about how red he had gotten all night, in between marveling how tidy his apartment was for once.

He kept track after that, followed their odd push and pull, the give and take to their not-quite friendship. He and Dabi didn’t quite mesh the same way Hawks was meshing with the rest of the league, so he was puzzled by Dabi’s actions. Hawks would do something nice, usually because it made one of the league happy or because his instincts were piping up again.

Without fail, Dabi would turn around and return a similar gesture. He wasn’t sure if they had an unspoken rule about this or if Dabi was just also trying to be nice? Was this how Hawks knew he was welcomed in the league? Or was it a sign he wasn’t? Dabi didn’t do such blatant favors for the other members of the league. Oh, he saw the small things Dabi did. The way he would sit with Twice, or the protein shakes he’d leave next to Shigaraki after the man finally passed out. The whetstone he dropped off to Spinner after he lost his. The odd vials of blood that he saw Dabi slipping to Toga.

It was different than what he and Dabi had, but he still found it stupidly endearing.

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Things turned strange once Hawks specifically started paying the same sort of attention to Dabi.

By strange, he meant that both his little bird brain was perking up and that Dabi was reacting oddly. His stupid bird brain he understood, even if it annoyed the hell out of him. It didn’t need to preen and figuratively dance around and fluff up nonexistent plumage. He most certainly wasn’t going to start singing. That would be humiliating; he was a hero, not a peacock. He trimmed his tail feathers for a reason, thank you.

He didn’t understand Dabi’s reaction though.

Any attempts to give little presents to the man would have them straight up rejected. Useful gifts would end up back in his bathroom (how Dabi kept breaking in was a mystery he didn’t quite want to investigate just yet, and wasn’t that concerning?)

Non-useful gifts were set afire in front of him. Food would be refused unless he disguised it as a league meal, and even then Dabi would usually break in to neaten his apartment. Hawks couldn’t tell if Dabi was trying to do him a favor or was trying to make a point that while Hawks could feed them poison or a sedative, Dabi knew where the hero lived, and had proven several times that he had no trouble getting into Hawks’ home. Either way, Hawks was not keen on having someone else rummage through his home. He liked his chaos, thank you.

So he decided to try another tack.

He tucked a replacement for Dabi’s old staple gun into his room, and over the next week restocked his stash of staples and other medical supplies. The next time he walked into the common area, Dabi stared at him. Hawks knew he was trying to figure it out.

Hawks usually took credit for the gifts he gave the others, mostly because he did actually enjoy being fawned over and more importantly, the hugs. Twice gave amazing hugs and he was going to milk all the hugs out of the man that he could. The fact that he wasn’t taking credit for Dabi’s new supplies was throwing the fire user for a loop.

Hawks continued with his stealthy gift-giving, from a special conditioner for dyed hair to soba noodles and green-tea mochi in the kitchen. He brought snacks from the Nakano station bakery, leaving them in the middle of the room. Ostensibly because he, Toga and Spinner had a love for their meat buns. Also because during a meeting that wasn’t at the base, Dabi had stared a little too long at their traditional sweets display.

He also stopped bringing food so much as he started bringing ingredients. He wasn’t cooking for them- he had tried once and Dabi had sent him a glare so seething he could almost feel his skin blister. No, he mostly spent his time in the kitchen playing sous chef to Toga, which was more fun than it ought to be, even with Dabi lurking nearby. Looking back on it now, he could see that he might have gone a little overboard with the nice ingredients.

Watching them try to survive on eggs, rice and pickles was just too horrible to tolerate, so he brought fresh vegetables. He brought meat and fish and fruit, keeping a close eye on what everyone preferred. He didn’t think it was too odd at the time. He knew one of his love languages was food. He did the same thing for Rumi and his sidekicks, surprising them with treats or their favorite during rough periods.

Dabi stopped breaking into his apartment, and it both delighted and annoyed him. Delighted, because maybe now he was properly part of the league, but annoyed because some dumb bird reason he wasn’t going to look at. He was not disappointed at all that bentos stopped.

Not at all.

Not even a little.

Buoyed by this change, Hawks decided he could try to do more.

He decided that he was going to tackle the problems at the base. The stairs into the house were rotted through, the rear of the house had a draft problem and there was a hole from one of the bedrooms in the upstairs to the bathroom. The rest of the league didn’t seem inclined to stop him when he started fixing up the house, most watching in amusement or occasionally assisting him.

They asked, of course, and he told a series of half-truths. It scratched that nest-building itch he refused to touch, mostly because he knew how he nested if there was nothing to fix. He would pile everything onto his bed. It was a disaster. He could never find any of his things and having everything buried just wasn’t worth the minor soothing of his instincts. The rest of his apartment could be a disaster. His room, and more importantly, his closet, would not be.

He also pointed out he got to actually use tools for the repairs, which was a novelty. He spent a good chunk of his childhood repairing the shack he lived in with reused nails and a rock.

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It was when he started making sure everyone was kitted out for winter that things started to change. Toga was easy enough; she was more than happy to go with Hawks in disguise and spend a weekend shopping. It also made shopping for the other members so much easier, with her simply winking at him and sipping from one of the small vials she had with her. Spinner got a new coat and stopped shivering and the only blue thing about Shigaraki was his hair, rather than his hands. Compress was given a striking new vest and slacks that weren’t stained with battle. Twice was wrapped in scarves and sweaters. It made something deep in the back of his head preen and coo with delight, seeing everyone warm and comfortable and able to relax in clean clothes.

Dabi’s reaction to his new winter wear was not what Hawks had anticipated. It wasn’t even that much if you compared it to the others. A few new soft cotton shirts to replace the blood-stained and hole-filled ones. A soft sweater in such a dark red it was almost black. It had looked and felt soft and warm and when Toga-as-Dabi tried it on to test the fit, she practically purred. Something had hooked into his brain and he desperately wanted to see the real Dabi do something similar.

It was the boots that caused the issues though. A pair of decent boots that wouldn’t fall apart in a year, that wouldn’t give him blisters. They were waterproof and supportive and edgy enough that even Dabi would like them.

It was the damn boots that got him into this trouble, with Hawks hiding in his bathroom with his back against the door. Staring down the opposite wall like it would open up and give him a convenient route of escape and trying to will a variety of things away, like his red face, surprise boner and a very comfortable looking Dabi reclining in his bed.

There was a thud against the door and the sound of Dabi sliding down it to sit on the other side.

“I know I’m hideous but that’s why the lights were off.”

“Okay, but why?” Hawks asked, although he was pretty sure it sounded more like a croak. There was another thud against the door, probably from Dabi’s head hitting it.

“Mostly to get it over with since you weren’t making a move. I don’t like owing people shit.”

Hawks’ brain functions skidded to a halt. He knew that at the beginning, they were sort of swapping favors. Hawks would do a thing, Dabi would do a thing. Sure, it fucked with the bird-like part of him, especially the meals (Hawks didn’t want to touch that with a four-meter pole), but it was give-and-take. Equal, right?.

“Last I checked, cleaning the disaster that is my kitchen counted as paying me back for things. I’m pretty sure that first time I should have owed you like, half a dozen favors.” Hawks deflected, hoping Dabi would take the out. He didn’t want to have this conversation, didn’t want to contemplate why Dabi had been in his bed, was implying repayment-

He groaned and dropped his face into his knees. This was fucked.

Dabi gave a dry laugh, the sound rough and bitter.

“Shit like what you were pulling isn’t traded for maid service.”

“How about bentos? If you feel like you owe me, can’t you keep doing that? I liked those.”

“Because you’re really going to keep doing stuff for the league for house-wife bentos?”

For some reason, his stupid bird-brain perked up at those words. To his utter mortification, he let out one of those trills he made. The ones that he couldn’t help when someone scratched under his scapulars in just the right spot.

Silence stretched between the two of them and the door.

“Did you just do the ‘Toga-fuck-off’ wing trill?”

Hawks groaned into his kneecaps again. Is that what the league thought that noise was? He was going to thank his lucky stars, spirits, and maybe the local kami. “It’s not a fuck off trill.”

There’s a pause before Dabi speaks again.

“Please tell me it’s not a ‘Toga-made-me-bird-horny’ trill?” Dabi said, sounding a cross between horrified, disgusted, and malevolently gleeful.

“No. Absolutely not.” Hawks protested, “The closest thing I can compare it to is a happy bird noise.”

“So… like when a cat purrs?”

Hawks didn’t reply. Dabi was silent long enough that Hawks rather hoped the man had either fallen asleep or stealthily gotten up and walked away. He was a breath away from uncurling and standing when Dabi let out a soft ‘huh’ from the other side of the door. Hawks froze where he crouched.

“That means… House-wifery gets the bird-purr. Good to know.” Dabi said. Hawks almost believed that Dabi would let this go. Instead, he could almost hear the sneer on Dabi’s face. “So, what. Should I put on a cute little kimono and greet you at the door like a good house-wife? Couldn’t you be a normal freak and be into maids?”

Hawks was done. He was so done with this misunderstanding. If Dabi wanted to talk, cool. They would talk. He stood, snagging his bathrobe off of a nearby hook and opened the door. Dabi hadn’t been expecting the door to open inwards. Hawks looked down only long enough to see Dabi fall onto his back before he dropped the robe and stepped over the fire-user’s body.

“Put the robe on before you join me. I’ll be on the couch when you want to talk.” Hawks headed towards the living room, muttering under his breath about why people kept thinking he’d be into maids. First Rumi, now Dabi. Did he project a weird fetish aura or had he missed a social cue somewhere?

He didn’t have to wait on the couch very long, just long enough for his leg to start bouncing and just long enough for him to focus on where he left his mug that morning. Or where his mug should have been. The only thing that remained was a ring on the table.

For the second time that night, his bird-brain perked up and trilled at this, at the sight that the nest was clean. He wanted to punch that part of his brain because it wasn’t his mate’s responsibility to clean up his nest an-

Oh.

Oh no.

Before Hawks could spiral into a cacophony of repeated variations of the word ‘no’, Dabi sat down on the couch next to him, and he didn’t sit so much as drop heavily into the seat, popping his leg up on the cushions so that it bridged the gap between them. Hawks glanced at Dabi. He was wearing Hawk’s favorite robe, the one Rumi said looked like a pinata had melted onto fluff. He internally trilled at the sight before squashing it down and not looking at the bare leg Dabi had draped over the cushions, nor at the way Dabi’s lithe muscles and sweeping scars drew the eye up the leg.

“What are you, a virgin?” Dabi goaded, poking Hawks’ thigh with his foot. Hawks rolled his eyes.

“No, but I’m also not the creep you apparently think I am.” Dabi nudged him with his foot and Hawks, fed up with everything, swatted at it. Instead of drawing away, Dabi kicked him. Hard.

Hawks yelped and glared at Dabi, scowling as he received a smug grin in reply.

“Fucking finally. What do you want then?”

If Hawks were being honest, he would have told Dabi that what he wanted was for the man sitting on his couch in his robe to be happy. Preferably in his bed, both for sleep and sex and cuddles. Maybe even in the bathtub for the sappy couple things he read about in romance novels and movie love stories. He wanted to be on the same page as the trilling part of himself that delighted in showing off for Dabi and sneaking him gifts and a thousand other things. And every single one of those thousand other things, all of it, was off the table for the foreseeable future.

“I don’t want anything. Go home. You don’t owe me shit and shouldn’t feel like you owe me.”

“People don’t do nice things for nothing.” It was said so easily, so matter of fact. Dabi said it like that was the indisputable rule of the world… and maybe it was where Dabi lived.

Hawks hated it.

Hated whatever it was that led Dabi to believe this. Did the others think that was what this was? That his fussing and doting was solely to… what? Were they just making the best of an assumed bad situation?

“Maybe it’s because I’m selfish.”

“What, you have a sugar daddy kink?” Dabi drawled, his tone dripping with scorn and skepticism and mockery. Mockery over the fact that maybe, just maybe, Hawks liked helping people. That he wasn’t in it for any gain, any debts from another.

“Fuck. No. I don’t have a damn kink. Did you ever consider that maybe I was doing it because I liked to? That I do it because it keeps the voice in my head quiet?” Hawks snarled, delighting in the startled look of surprise on Dabi’s face. It was quickly replaced by one of anger, but even that was better than the business-like smarm of his prior expression.

“Maybe I like having control over the instinctual voice that screams at me to preen and chirp, the one that wants me to sing and court and hunt! I doubt you understand because you’re about as baseline human as they get. I suck at dancing and let me tell you, trying to hunt for fish as my instincts want me to is a little difficult with human feet. Not to mention feathers take forever to dry and did you ever consider that, excluding the morph bullshit, I might just want to take time to be a normal twenty-three-year-old and play video games and give presents to friends? Did it?”

Hawks had gotten to his feet at some point during his rant, looming over Dabi. Dabi who was slouching into the couch, eyes watching him as intently as any predator would Or prey, judging by how his eyes kept flicking to the door. Calculating an escape route. Eyes that snapped to him as Hawks shifted his weight back.

He let out a muffled shriek, the one that Rumi said resembled one of the raptor calls she’d heard at a sanctuary once. He turned on his heel and headed towards the kitchen. He didn’t know what to do to fix this, running his hands through his hair, not quite stress-preening, but close enough.

“Do you want pizza? I want pizza.” Hawks shouted as he escaped into the kitchen. He hoped that Dabi stayed put, that he didn’t follow Hawks.

He yanked open the freezer door, hand shooting up to keep another box of frozen dinners from sliding out. He lost himself in the methodical nature of preparing; preheating his small counter oven and moving the pizza from the box to a small sheet to the rack of the oven and setting a timer.

He hadn’t heard Dabi get up to follow him, and now that he was done, the majority of the irritated fuzz that had been bussing in his veins had vanished. He probably needed to go back in there. They still had some time before the pizza finished cooking.

He peered around the wall between the kitchen and the living room. Dabi was still lounging on the couch, still in nothing but the robe he lazily threw on, the belt not even properly tied.

Dabi felt Hawks’ eyes on him, looking up at the hero. He quirked a brow, one of his shit-eating grins on his face.

“So… what was that about courting?”

Hawks wanted to scream again. Instead, he decided discretion was the better part of valor and that a temporary retreat was a better plan than screaming. If anything, it would keep his downstairs neighbors from sliding annoyed notes under his door again. He stayed in the kitchen, staring at the rack of clean, dried dishes until the timer for the pizza rang.

When he returned to the living room, a plate of pizza in each hand, Dabi had shifted to sitting like a normal person, although his feet were still kicked up on the low table in front of him and he had somehow obtained the television remote. A magical girl cartoon was playing, although there were a lot more swords and spaceships than he remembered magical girls using. Hawks handed one plate to Dabi. He had split the pizza between the plates, and if one plate had an additional slice and if he handed that plate to Dabi, that was his poorly kept secret and maybe Dabi wouldn’t notice.

Judging by the dry amusement written over Dabi’s face as he took the plate from Hawks, Hawks was not as subtle as he had hoped. He, thankfully, didn’t say anything as Hawks tore into his pizza. Dabi ate his at a slower pace, one of the first times Dabi had accepted and then eaten something Hawks had provided. It sent a pleasant warble through his goddamn bird brain because today was the day he apparently let it run rampant through his life. In his defense, he was too tired to fight it at this point. He had one horrifying realization followed by a world-shaking one followed by several aftershocks that had drained him of any bandwidth necessary to process anything else.

“So… courting?” Dabi prompted when Hawks put down his plate. Hawks shot him a dead-eyed look. Dabi’s grin grew. Hawks was learning he hated seeing that smile as much as he enjoyed it.

“Apparently! It’s news to me!” Hawks said, throwing up his hands in exasperation. At that, Dabi began to laugh. Honest to got laughing.

Hawks stared.

What was so funny? Was this funny? Was he… the source of amusement? Did he find Hawks’ newly discovered affection for him hilarious? Was Hawks and his emotions really that much of a joke?

Something shriveled in his chest as he recoiled from the thought. He didn’t like it, but he understood it. People wanted things from a significant other and some of those things Hawks wasn’t and couldn’t ever be. It still stung, sort of like leaving his heart on top of a fire ant nest.

“One of the league?” Dabi wheezed, bent over his knees as he slowly stopped laughing. “You really have shit taste birdie. So. Who is it?”

Hawks gawked, baffled by the obliviousness. Before today, he’d attributed Dabi with a little more interpersonal prowess than the commission seemed inclined to award him. Now he was thinking the C-ranking in intelligence wasn’t too far off.

Dabi’s expression grew irritated the longer Hawks gawked at him.

“What, afraid I’ll tell your little crush that you had me naked in your bed or something?”

Hawks sighed and tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling and wondering if launching himself out the window might end this entire conversation and situation.

“Dabi. Who do you think it is?” Dabi opened his mouth, and Hawks suddenly thought better of giving Dabi that opening. “If you say Toga, I will return to the bathroom and become violently ill.”

Dabi closed his mouth, lips pursed as he thought. An idea struck and he grinned.

“It’s not Twice.” Hawks cut him off. Dabi’s face fell again. This was the most twisted version of a sleepover game ever.

Before he could think better of it, Hawks leaned over, invading Dabi’s space. He pressed their foreheads together, letting out an unintentional warble before quickly backing off and gathering the plates.

He spent the next ten minutes loudly washing the plates and pan and dragging it out as long as humanely possible if only to give him time to will the heat from his face and give Dabi time to flee. If Dabi didn’t leave, then maybe he would be able to slip past him and throw himself out of the balcony window. Rumi always said he was welcome to crash at her house. Maybe he could stay there until Dabi got bored of his apartment.

No, she’d ask why he wanted to stay with her all of a sudden. He couldn’t very well tell her a villain he just realized he fancied had taken up residence in his apartment. That would end as well as the rest of tonight had been going.

He braced himself against the sink. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do now. He had a mission but that could be easily dealt with. Just tell them Dabi refused to let him join. Give them what info he had and then let them figure out another way to deal with the league. Hell, that would actually give him a clean-ish way of separating himself without anyone getting hurt. The league would assume he and Dabi had a snit and… well no they might actually come after him for vengeance. Fuck.

There was a knock on the wall of the kitchen, interrupting his spiraling thoughts. As he turned, he caught sight of Dabi leaning against the threshold of the kitchen. He was no longer dressed in the robe, having changed back to his usual white shirt and dark pants. He didn’t see Dabi’s coat anywhere. Had he worn it over? Or did he use that disguise he was partial to?

“You’re serious, aren’t you?” Dabi said, not really asking a question but Hawks still nodded in response. He avoided looking at Dabi, staring at the ground and at Dabi’s bare feet. He shouldn’t have gotten those stupid fancy boots. Maybe then this wouldn’t have happened and he could have remained ignorant and it wouldn’t feel like something was squirming painfully in his ribcage.

He tensed, waiting for the mockery to come. Or for the ground to swallow him up, whichever occurred first.

“Why?” Dabi asked softly, like he wasn’t prying for things to use in his mockery. Look at Hawks, he’s so desperate he falls for the first moderately attractive villain he gets to know.

“Why does anyone like someone?” Hawks hedged, wincing at the snort Dabi responded with.

“A lot of people like what the other can provide.”

“Oh…” Hawks faltered, slipping his hands in his pockets and eyeing the space between Dabi and the door. Dabi followed his gaze and lifted a leg, bracing it against the other side of the archway, barring the way.

“Nope. We’re talking. Use your words, birdie. You’re usually good with those.”

Hawks smile wryly. “Not around you apparently. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”

“Humor me and try.”

“I don’t know. You’re an asshole with ambition. Apparently, I like that in people.” It explained why his only close friend was Rumi, and why he admired Endeavor so much. Huge dicks. Large ambition.

“And you’re not interested in someone depending on you?” Dabi said. Unlike before, he seemed less angry, a little more amused and mostly trying to understand. Which, improvement was good? Maybe he wouldn’t end up set on fire.

“Dabi, my day job is being a hero. I get my fill of that. I would love a partner I wouldn’t need to worry about.”

“You don’t worry about me?” Dabi teased, and Hawks shook his head, laughing.

“I worry about the damage you cause and occasionally you riling up the rest of the league. Do you want me to worry about you? I can start. Nag you like I do Toga. ‘Toga why are you shivering where is your coat’ and ‘Toga please bandage that cut - infections are not fun’ and ‘Toga, have you considered going to bed-’?”

“Stop, stop.” Dabi interrupted, amusement bright in his tone. “No. Absolutely not. Aim that at Shigaraki. I get enough of that from the others. What else do you like about me?”

“Sounds like you’re fishing for compliments.”

“Or insults. For all I know, you’re attracted to the shiny shit in my face.”

“Well, piercings are attractive.” Hawks joked, delighting in the way Dabi’s face contorted. “And now that your ego’s been sufficiently stroked, can we forget this happened? Maybe let me out of the kitchen so I can escape to my office and hide until you leave?”

“No.” Dabi stated, although he dropped his leg. Hawks took the opportunity to try and slip past, freezing as Dabi snagged his wrist. His grip was loose, but firm. “Sleeping with you would not have been as big an imposition as others.”

“That…” Hawks’ face twisted in disgust, “That does not make me feel better.”

“I”m trying to say you’re welcome to continue your bower-bird rituals. I like barbeque and tempura.”

Hawks… Hawks could work with that.