#This is also just me blabbing with little evidence so dont come for my throat ok I'm just pondering
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I interpret Kaz's relationship with his dad a little differently from that one convo. He says something like 'he knew better than anyone that we didn't have the money' and I took that as his dad wanted him to go and have fun like a normal kid and not worry about the money. Of course, I don't justify physical discipline and it is abuse, even if the parent is well intentioned. I think that Kaz does love his dad and they're relationship might be more complicated. But you know that's just one of the many things he needs to work out in therapy.
(Again this is just my interpretation and I'm not saying yours is wrong. I do love the art.)
Just gonna use this as a little jumping point to talk about this bc why not, warnings for obviously sensitive topics
I dont think you're wrong, I actually probably agree, but one thing;
It's not uncommon for public perception to weigh more than actual actions or intent. In the example given, I see it like so; yeah, Souda sr. wanted his son to go on a field trip that they couldn't really afford. Yeah, Kaz wanted to help the household by not going on the trip and saving the money. Both have good intent here. It's not about that, though, because in Souda sr.'s eyes, refusing to go on the trip is like admitting that they're poor, which is like saying the father can't provide for his family, which is like public humiliation- in his eyes. In a fit of rage (and insecurity, if it's something that's already weighing on his mind, as these things often go) the assumption isnt that his son was trying to help, just that he did something that makes the father look bad. Which is a bigger trigger than most things, often, for patriarchal authority figures.
And it not an excuse for physical harm, no, nothing is. Probably, Souda sr. knows that, and didn't mean to snap- doesnt think he committed an act of child abuse- but he's been under a lot of stress, and his son was talking back, and, well.
I think they do usually get along alright, and Souda sr. does his best to provide for himself and his son and keep their relationship good, and Kazuichi is genuinely grateful for everything his dad's done for him? But in the end, it's another person Kazuichi trusted teaching him the lesson that people will let him down and hurt him, in some way at some point. If your parent whom you trust has made you genuinely afraid of them, it's hard to come back from it, and someone as anxious and emotionally sensitive as Kazuichi will hold onto that forever, probably, even as he might internalized some of it as his own fault.
It's a lot more complicated than just "bad father, sad son" (but again, not excusable, you don't hit your kids period). It's father and son who love each other and might be the only family they both have, but they clash horribly on occasion, make up (or don't talk about it at all), things die down, stay good for a while, then there's another clash- so it goes, even if the bad times are only occasional. The biggest Thing about these kind of relationships, to me, is that it's so easy to fall into a routine and let things stagnate, and before you know it, it's just How Things Are and it's easier to just deal than start rocking the boat.
#Not an art#Talky talky#Dysfunctional relationships and toxic family is always something I have Thoughts on#cw child abuse#This is also just me blabbing with little evidence so dont come for my throat ok I'm just pondering#I could talk about the kuzuryu family too I think there's a lot more context stuff there#But that's a diff post#I also hc that Kaz started thinking about the death machines before Junko#Not in a serious manner but as a malcontent kid who felt bitter and insecure and wanted to let it out somehow#Who hasnt fantasised about pushing someone down the stairs or sth right? That's where it started for him#Blah blah the 'anyone is capable of evil' theme#But also the 'that entire class was full of kids at risk and no one noticed or helped them and that sure didnt stop them from seeking-#-release and control and company from bad people who in turn affected them'
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as long as iām reflecting you
Summary: āI canāt believe you havenāt figured it out yet. I'm you, Hawks."
@hawksweek2020 day 1: ClichƩ
If youād rather read on ao3 (or if you want to read my long rant in the chapter notes): https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203351
Fandom: My Hero Academia
Pairing: Gen
Rating: G
Characters: Hawks, Dabi
Dabi towers over Hawks as he lies there, helpless, blue flame licking greedily at his face and wings. He can feel himself shriveling under the heat, but perhaps the worst part is this:
Takami Keigo.
Dabi knows his name. Dabi knew all along what Hawks was doing there, knows more than even his friends doāhis name.
Hawks panics at the sound of Dabiās boots crunching on the broken shards of his visorāHe canāt die here! The battle is far from over, and heās the only hero ready and equipped to deal with the aftermath. Thereās not much Hawks can do, at this point, but he does have one option. Dabi needs time between using his quirk in order to recover. Use conversation, distract him, draw him in. In Hawksās experience, villains never pass up a chance to gloat and throw their self-righteousness in everyoneās face. Get a villain talking about themself, and they wonāt shut up. Even closed-off Dabi will likely blab his life story, thinking Hawks is about to die. Itās worth a shot.
āThe only members of the League I found nothing on were you and Shigaraki. I found everyone elseās background, their familiesābut for you, I couldnāt even find a name. Who are you?ā
Dabi sets a foot on Hawksās back, leans his weight into it. Hawks pushes himself up with his hands as much as he can to prevent his ribs from snapping. Heās miscalculated. Dabi will keep his secrets over his ego. Hawks accepts his death even as he fights and pushes against it; he canāt die, but heās going to, and thereās nothing he can do about it. Heās expecting Dabi to burn him to death right there, and heās already bracing himself and gritting his teeth against the heat. He is <em>not</em> expecting Dabi to crouch down, one foot still on Hawksās back, and whisper:
āI canāt believe you havenāt figured it out yet.ā Thereās a warm huff of laughter on his ear that has Hawks cringing away, thenā āIām you, Hawks.ā
-----------------------------
Hawks wakes up to the horrible smell of antiseptic solution and the annoying tug of compression sleeves on his leg hair. Then, of course, the swoop of vertigo that speaks of some Pretty Heavy Anaesthesia. He tries to cough the smell out of his mouth, but is met with a sore throatāmore than sore, actually. Itās like someoneās taken literal sandpaper and dragged it down his entire esophagus. He gags, tries to sit up, is hit off balance by the vertigo, and promptly throws up over the side of the bed.
He leans back against his pillows and wallows in the agony his stomach acid has raked over his poor, abused, sandpapered throat.
āCan I get you anything?ā asks a nurse holding a bucket. Oh, good. Heād vomited into a bucket and not all over the hospital floor.
Hawks gestures frantically to his throat with a plea in his eyes that the nurse hopefully interprets as āwater,ā or ācough drop,ā or even, āplease just slit my throat and put me out of my misery.ā
The nurse hands him both water and cough drops. Hawksās eyes water with gratitude. Well, either that or pain. Maybe both.
āSorry, man,ā says the nurse as he reaches to adjust Hawksās blanket. āThey had to do surgery on your wings, and you had a breathing tube.ā
Hawks croaks in horror. āWings!?ā
āTheyāll be all right. You also had some skin grafts for the burns.ā
Burns. Dabi. Iām you, Hawks.
āPhone,ā he demands urgently.
With his miraculously only-slightly-singed phone in his hands, Hawks shoos the nurse away and starts tapping and typing with frenzied vigor.
His google search shows him an article spotlight on him, featuring an interview with Tokoyami, who apparently saved him. Good kid, that Tokoyami. It also shows him that there were minimal casualties and that apparently the UA students were spearheading the clean-up and rebuilding of the battleground. Okay. Okay. Good, good. All of it good.Ā
Now, what he <em>really</em> wants to know: Dabi.
To: VP HPSC:Ā
get me every pic i ever sent u of dabi highest res possible asap
also the cam footage of lov hideout
To the number heād found on Google for the news network he saw at the raid:
Hi, this is Hawks. I saw your news logo at the fight in Reika. I was wondering if you could send me any footage you managed to get of the villains. Thank you. Hereās a selfie for proof itās me.
To: Dabi (Villain):
hey ik its a bit of a long shot but like i would love an explanation thanks xoxo <3
He knows Dabiās claim is ridiculous. He knows, all right? What heās actually hoping to find is some connection to Endeavor. Thereās definitely <em>something</em> familiar about Dabi, and that, paired with the fire quirk, could explain it.Ā
The first replies he gets are the pictures and footage from the Commission. Hawks zooms in and examines Dabiās hair. He always knew it was dyed.The roots come in a lighter color, which would make his hair look perpetually greasy if it laid flat; but instead, it makes his spiky hair look just the slightest bit detached from his head. As he looks at the pictures, heās surprised to realize that he was already biased toward his Endeavor explanation in his head: he was thinking Dabiās hair was white, like the color of Todoroki Shoutoās ice side, from whoever was Endeavorās wife. Closer scrutiny shows that itās actually a dark blond, like Hawksās own hair.Ā
That doesnāt mean anything, though.
Dabiās aesthetically stapled under-eye bags are right in the spot where Hawks has his natural eye markings.
The one picture he managed to find of Dabi shirtless (Itās okay, Hawks reminds himself. Iām a creep with a noble cause. It was for the intel) shows that the stapled purple skin covers the part of his back where Hawks has his wings. If Dabi had wings and they were removed, purple skin grafts or whatever those were would cover up the evidence quite nicely.
Andā¦ what Hawks learned during the raid. Dabiās weakness is his own quirk. Fire. Thatās Hawksās own biggest weakness. Thatās almost too much to be a coincidenceā¦what ifā¦?
As heās looking over the Commissionās images, he almost drops his phone in surprise because Dabi (Villain) texts him back.Ā
Every intelligent thought in his head evacuates in favor of wtfwtfwtfwtf.
Itās a selfieāa close-up of Dabiās face, right behind a hand thatās flipping him off. Itās just the puzzle piece that he needs, because the small gleam of light catches on the telltale glint of a contact lens, and Hawks can see where the edge of the blue goes lighter where itās not covering the colorful iris underneathāDabiās eyes arenāt actually blue. And, what Hawks has always thought of as edgy eyeliner looks suspiciously similar to his other eye markings.
Another quick text to: Pres HPSC, VP HPSC:
i dont have any sort of long lost twin brother right??? or like an evil clone or smth??
Almost instantly, he receives a No.
It should be a relief, but his mindās still going haywire. Dabiā¦is him? He is Dabi? Dabi is Hawks? Does Hawks is Dabi who? Shut up, brain, you didnāt connect shit. It Dabi, Takami Keigo Dabi Hawksā¦ if Hawks? Who Takami Dabiā¦ heā¦Ā Ā Ā
-----------------------------
Maybe I shouldnāt try thinking when Iām high on painkillers, he thinks when he wakes up.Ā
As he looks around, he realizes heās been moved to a more long-term room. Instead of curtains, it has a door, and thereās a TV and a nightstand. His phone is dead and heās not about to call the nurse to come plug it in for him, so he switches on the TV instead, not sure how much he can trust his conclusions on the outcome of the raid if he convinced himself that he was somehow Dabi in the same 10-minute timespan.
The first thing that shows up on the news channel is a report about Hawks, and heās greeted with the atrocious selfie he took to prove his identity to the news channel. His hair is a devastated battleground and missing completely on his burned side, heās covered in gauze and medical tape, and his smile looks half-crazed. What was he thinking?
āHawks is recovering in an unknown hospital, but he looks to be well. The real question is, will the Number Two Hero still be able to charm without half of his famous wind-swept hair?ā
āI donāt know, Motome-san. Letās look at some footage of the battle. Iām sure any ladyāor gentlemanāwould be charmed by someone willing to go so far to protect them.ā
Hawks rolls his eyes and scowls, but doesnāt turn off the TV. If they show his fight with Dabiāif he could get a quick glimpse of himāhe could turn off the idiot switch in his brain that wonāt shut up.Ā
Instead, what he sees is a streak of red that flies into Dabiās hand. Thatās one of his feathers. Dabi controlled one of his feathers. Dabi has control of Hawksās Fierce Wings.
To hell with his pride! Hawks repeatedly jams the help button on the side of his bed, and a nurse arrives soon after, out of breath. Hawks feels a little bad for scaring the poor man, but he needs to charge his phone. As soon as it turns back on, he sends out the text to almost every single one of his contacts.
Hi all, this is Hawks. Iāve figured out the identity of the villain Dabi. It should help you lure him out and take him down. DABI IS ME. Text me with any questions. Go after him with fire, if you can.
Within three minutes, Hawks has rejected 7 calls. Text me with any questions, he said. Not call. He wonāt be speaking with his sandpaper throat for at least the next month if he has anything to say about it.Ā
Someone with enough manners finally texts instead of calls. It reads: omw to kill you right now. should have finished the job last time.
Oh, shit. Did he really send that message to Dabi?Ā
Yeah. He did.
SOS this is not a joke, he sends to the HPSC. Dabi just texted me says heās going to kill me right now. iām in the hospital, canāt fight. PLEASE send someone
He answers the next call from Pres HPSC. āCanāt talk,ā he rasps and tastes blood on his tongue. The president talks to him and he gives one tap for yes, two taps for no.
āDo you really want us to send someone?ā
One tap.
The president sighs. āHawks, as soon as you can speak, I expect the most thorough, detailed, in-depth report youāve ever given in your life.ā
--------------------------------
With Hawksās warning, they capture Dabi easily enough. He shows up at the hospital directly and comes face-to-face with Endeavor, who, knowing about his weakness to fire, easily takes him down.
When Hawks visits Tartarus a month later to interrogate Dabi, he wonders how he ever missed it. Without the dye and the contacts, thereās no denying that Dabi is Hawks. Heās left wondering, though.
āWhy did you text me at the hospital that you were on your way to kill me? I immediately got Endeavor there. I thought you were a little smarter than that.ā
Dabi just shrugs, his newly-regenerated red feathers rustling with the movement. āObviously not. I am you, after all.ā
#hawksweek2020#hawks#it's a day early but im pretty busy tmrw so i;m posting it now#this is so so stupid. extremely stupid.#WHY did i use so many italics they are a PAIN#here it is. the dumbest thing i've everĀ written.#and ive written some pretty dumb things in my decade on this hellsite#the only thing i will ever name with a song lyric#bnha#manga spoilers
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//siblings beinā siblings :ā)
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boy theyre really piling on the dick with roger. and yet, it somehow feels kinda forced. not quite as goofy-forced asĀ āmatt swirl my brandy and show off my scratched eyeĀ engardeā but still...Ā
heās so obnoxious that i wanna hold up a hand likeĀ āchill, chill, youre the villain, you dont have to try so hard. yeesh.ā
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In spite of everything, it's still (Tr)u(cy)
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Did Godot also ghost write the gramarye creed?? We didn't need this manĀ
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I love that she's "magical girl Trucy"
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That is a HUGE ASS SWORD. Trucy must be ripped to balance that shit with one handĀ
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(Cries) the judge bravoād her my heart
And Apollo asks her to be careful I fhfhfhgggĀ
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JUDGE! Don't call her a butt!! - Bonny: a fan of mine took some footage of the me in the show. It's kind of creepy but it might help.
Me: ok well it can't be any creepier than the normal show footage which focuses on her quite a bit anyway---
(Footage is shot from backstage)
Me: BODYGUARD. DEMAND A BODYGUARD IN UOUR NEXT CONTRACT.DO NOT PERFORM WITHOUT ONE.
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"What a waste of time"
I know, sadmad, it is a waste of time hinting And blabbing on when the contradiction is SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS
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To this games credit, I actually looked thru the footage to check for the edit and it's actually there. You can see the screen skip ever so slightly. I mean it's a little improbable that Trucy was still in the same position after twirling but that's a neat little detail. Not bad, SOJ, not bad at all.
- (Snerk) sexy pan up shot for mr retinz
- I know everyone loves the 'what's crackalackin homie" line but it stinks of pandering to me
It's like mr grossberg saying his hemerhoids were doing the Harlem shake. But I don't even think they were referencing the meme back then.
Also something about the way they write Nahyuta feels like the equivalent of a foreign character saying "it is-- 'ow you say..."
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Burger barn sounds like the shittiest restaurant on earth. I wonder if it was the Ramen Ranch in the Japanese version...
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"It's pretty long so I'll just show you the part with.." OHHH NO. We learned our lesson in dual destinies. We watch ALL the footage, damn it.
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That must be Trucy! ... Six seconds after she runs in the opposite direction, also shown rising up into the rafters. ākay. Sounds legit. Prosecutor sadmad, please call me a moron and threaten more insignificant reincarnations...
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"It threatens to disrupt the karmic course of this case" You mean it's so bullshit that you're obviously going to lose, right? It's ok, you can just come right out and say it. Nobody will mock you.
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huh. retinz just called sadmadĀ āpretty boyā
gee whiz guess theyre gay for each other now.Ā cāmon fandom work your magic.
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I'm starting to really not know what the victimās last rights actually are. could you be a lil more clear on that sadmad
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āMy OBJECTION.... is NOT FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT!!!ā
but it sure is for mine [snicker]
also gr8 excuse there, roger
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āevery industry has its own way of doing things, just as we in the legal profession focus exclusively on evidence and testimonyā
really? for some reason i thought you were more interested in The Magic Pool and The Screams of the Condemned.
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i can see theyre trying to write sadmad funny but its just not.... funny???
even with rogerās obnoxious persona i find him funnier. his texting sprite is hilarious. he just looks so fuckin pleased with himself.
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Lang Zi says... Nahyuta needs a different schtick.
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( well this numbskull has a thick skin, so there )
-holds back tears-
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phoenix, drunkenly, from the gallery: DEAD PERSON... PUNISHING SOMEONE THROUGH A SURVIVING FAMILY MEMBER..? APOLLO GEDDOWN THE FUCKIN GHOSāS ARE COMING AAAHHH
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ānot bad for a shitty soap opera twistā
yeesh, that was a very sudden bout of self-loathing from the writers.
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poor manov. somehow i feel more sad about his death than the entirety of the victims in DD (apart from Clay that is)
i mean he was just some magician tryna make it big.
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(sigh) they tried to do theĀ āare you highā joke again and yet they still dont understand what made it funny in the first place.
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āStrange are the karmic threads before me...ā
is that Koorahneese forĀ āshit, I'm losing!!ā
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NOW I FEEL EVEN WORSE FOR MANOV
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i love when villains do that thing where itās obviously fucking them and a jury would haul their ass to jail in 2 seconds but since itās the bench trial system theyre like :3c I'm not admitting to anything! I just revealed something incriminating and suspicious as fuck but since my name isnāt carved into it you cant punish me~~~
im not being sarcastic either, at this point its just funnyĀ
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apollo: AHH, HOW DID YOU READ MY MIND?!
roger must have assistantās blood in him; all of them can do itĀ
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ohhhh. ohhh. i think. i see how he did it. if so, shit bro; thatās fucked up. but actually a pretty good sneaky murder method, with some pretty good foreshadowing that really stuck in my mind.Ā
Not bad, SOJ. Not bad at all.
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ādo you think the audience will let you get away with the twins schtick twice in a row?ā
alright writers, your self deprecation is making me a little uncomfortable now.
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i like picturingĀ manovās soul sitting on he judgeās head.
ācould you hurry it up? I'm tired of listening to butterfly over there banging on about last rights. i just wanna see retinz get his ass kicked.ā
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wait did i completely miss somethingĀ
what the fuck is with the random tuna boat joke
did i miss a reference to it before
is it a joke on turnabout: tuna-boat ??
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hang on. is this a half-case?Ā
they did this in dual destinies with the two last ones. i guess they canāt fit five full cases into a game after all... for some reason.
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i was right! well done. thats a well written twist. anyway, most importantly:
IM STILL CRYING OVER MANOV. HE DIDNT DESERVE THIS
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as much as i appear to like ragging on these games, i really hope the rest of the cases are as good.Ā
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sadmad: you fāā
writers: [shake heads vigorously and make cut-throat motions]
sadmad: ..! ..uhh... [opens up a thesaurus] dim-witted... ignorant... imbecilic?
writers: [nod and sigh in relief]
sadmad: putrid red pepper.Ā
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ājust some good old fashioned logicā
oh look at that they just admitted theĀ ārethinking the caseā mechanic is just an off brand logic rip-off.
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wow that was the most over-the-top prosecutor breakdown I've ever seen. how did that even work? physically, i mean
maybe the soul butterfly is getting its revenge
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NOO!!! NOT VALANT!!!
also holy shit that was one helluva hallucination. I'd like to think Magnifi was responsible from beyond the grave for one last feat in dickery.Ā
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Trucyās absolutely right and murder is 99% never justified, but Magnifi is heavily implied to be a bag of dicks.Ā
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āWow trucy, i never knew that being the best could be so tough good for your dating lifeā
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ādo you think I'm a naive greenhorn?ā āNo, she's not...ā
don't use theĀ āsmile in spite of everythingā thing,Ā don't use the āsmile in spite of everythingā thing,Ā don't use the āsmile in spite of everythingā thingāā
Ff fffffuuuuck
god dAMNIT
what is japans obsession with smiling thru shitty times??? its, like, ok to cry when you feel down, you know? its admirable to be strong in times of distress but your worth isn't based solely on how well you can pretend not to feel like shit
why not present that quick-ass thinking she did to get around Bonnyās mistake? THAT is the mark of someone whoās ready to be on stage. somebody whoās ready for any eventuality; thatās the mark of a clever performer. she kept a cool head and let the show go on; thats impressive!!!
get this shoe-horned in shit outta my face.
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alright alright... theyre trying to have an emotional moment between siblings. ill calm down... for now.
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Apollo: Youāve really changed Edgeāāā eh h I mean, Nahyuta.
Nahyuta: fuck you.Ā
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trucy: you don't like to talk about your past, do you? because you always change the subject!
apollo: its not so much that i don't like to talk about it as that itās constantly being rewritteāāāĀ
[shotgun cocking sound from capcom]
apollo: I-ITS PARTY TIME, ITS PARTY TIME, EVERYBODYāS GETTIN DOWN BECAUSE ITS PARTY TIME
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phoenix: you're a full fledged lawyer, apollo
apollo: aww gee thanks
phoenix: do you know the definition of full-fledged, in the bird world
apollo: uh
phoenix: it means they fly the coop. leave the nest. go to a completely different country, shall we say
apollo: ah
phoenix: just putting that out there apropos of nothing.
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PHOENIX TALK TO YOUR FUCKING DAUGHTER. CHRIST. shit. sigh.
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apollo is now fucking dead, and living up to the titleĀ āSpirit of Justiceā
#sulking over SOJ#ooc#just a reminder that the reason these are under cuts is the spoiler heavy nature#also becauseĀ I'm a big whiny mcwhinerson
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