#Thinking about how the others see Siffrin's behavior... They have no idea what's going on and Siffrin killed themselves so suddenly...

[romans-empire]

It must honestly be so confusing and traumatizing to see your friend essentially kill themselves just as you mention that there's no way progressing. Before that, he's never even shown any hint of giving up, so why now?

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 10

ISAT spoilers below! CW: Uhhh... talking to your family? That's pretty traumatizing right?

"30 YEARS?!" (You flinch as you hear everyone shout in unison from the other side of the wall. It took everything in you to finally tell Isa the truth, so thankfully he offered to explain it all to the others for you... Oh Isa... I swear I don't deserve you... You lay your head against the wall, pressing your ear closer to try and hear their muffled chatter.)

"So how many times has he looped this go around?"

"... He said only one but... I don't know, I don't think he's ready to talk about that yet..." (...)

"... Does he know what caused him to loop again?"

"..." (The room goes silent... it seems Isa didn't want to say it either.)

"... Ah..." (Odile pipes up, having gotten whatever hint Isa was giving.)

"So does this mean Frin is the oldest now?"

"We are NOT going to discuss that Boniface." (You can't help but give a little chuckle at that, despite the overwhelming dread washing over you.)

"Let's just be sure to take it easy on him, okay? It took a lot for him to admit that... we should try our best not to overwhelm him. Let him go at his own pace, yeah?" (Oh Isa...)

"You're right, this is... a lot, for all of us I'm sure..."

"S-So this means that... Siffrin knows the future?! Like THAT far in the future?! Oh no this is bad, that NEVER goes well in the books! What if we mess up the timeline or something?!"

"Well the world isn't falling apart yet... I don't like the idea of simply ignoring this but... it's not exactly a rush either, now is it?"

"I guess it's not... b-but if anything weird starts happening, we should be careful!"

"Definitely, but for now, we should just be here for Sif. He must be really going through it right now..." (You sigh as you pull your head from the wall... You suppose it's time to face everyone, for better or worse. You stand up, leaving the room, and knocking at the door. You wait nervously for what feels like an eternity, terrified to face this moment. Finally the door slowly opens to Isa... just seeing his sweet smile calms you down.)

"Hey Sif... You ready to talk for a bit?" (You nod, entering the room as he steps aside. Everyone is standing there... staring at you... You retreat a little behind your cloak and hat.)

"Oh Siffrin... I can't imagine what you must be going through..." (Odile starts, Isa approaching from behind and placing a hand on your shoulder. You lean back against him out of habit and need for comfort. The rest of your family start to approach, and you give a light nod of approval, being encased in a wonderful hug from everyone. Safe, Loved, Safe, Loved...)

"Th-Thank you... Okay... I'm ready to talk." (You sigh out, trying to keep from crying again. You know they'd support it but you're just sick of it at the moment. You walk over to the nearest chair and flop down into it... just sitting in awkward silence until-.)

"So when do you two finally kiss?"

"BONNIE!"

"DSKALJDSAJLSDAFJLSF" (You face burns darker, looking away as you hear Isa's very flustered noises. You take a moment before deciding to answer.)

"two months..."

"HAH!" (Odile can't control herself for snorting, Bonnie giggling to themself as well while Mirabelle looks mortified at their behavior. You don't even need to look at Isa to know he's absolutely writhing, but you do since it's fun to watch.)

"canwemoveonprettyplease?"

"Do I become a head housemaiden?!" (Mirabelle shouts out, as if having been holding it back this whole time. You open your mouth to answer-.)

"NO WAIT SPOILERS! DON'T TELL ME DON'T TELL ME SORRY!!" (She panics, covering her ears as a precaution.)

"So much for not overwhelming him..." (Odile sighs, rubbing her temple before continuing.)

"Well, since you have some of foresight on the matter, do feel free to keep us informed of things to avoid. Especially for your own sake." (You nod in response, sharing that familiar appreciative look you both are used to.)

"Do I become a master cooker?!" (Bonnie's eyes light up brightly, leaning closer in awe as they await the fated answer.)

"Hehe... Yup, got a famous cook book and everything." (Bonnie raises their fists in triumph, running around excitedly and shouting about their future accomplishment. They help break the tension as always.)

"Uhh... Sif?... Uhm... A-Are we... Y.. Y-know..." (Isa begins, trailing off as he can't seem to find the words. You just blush some more and giving a light nod. You reach for your earlobe and rub it a bit, helping ensure you're on the same page. His face grows several shades darker.)

"Alright everyone, let's not get too focused on our futures. The more we know the less likely things will play out the same anyways. As I said Siffrin, if it feels important then please bring it up. Otherwise I think we're all best off knowing as little as possible..."

"R-Right!"

"Y-Yeah, probably a good idea..."

"Awwww, no more future secrets?! No fair, Dile!"

"Heh, sorry Bonbon, granny's orders." (You tease, thankful that you don't have to divulge your entire previous life.)

"But you're older now! That means you're in charge!"

"I said we're not discussing that Boniface!!" (Bonnie just snorts and sticks their tongue out.)

"Regardless, there's still an important detail we haven't discussed... What are we going to do about this?" (Odile asks in a serious tone, looking directly to you for some sort of answer.)

"... I... I don't know... now that Loop is back, I-"

"Loop? What do you mean they're back?" (… Crab.)

"... Right... I forgot to mention that.." (You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.)

"I can't... I can't explain everything right now, but Loop never showed up again in all those years. B-But as soon as I looped back I heard them! They're here, I saw them, b-but..." (Your voice trails off. You realize you were starting to sound desperate, everyone giving you those same concerned looks they always did whenever you got rather frantic... How do you explain this? What CAN you say?...)

"... I'm sorry... I-I just can't explain it right now..."

"Well, I suppose telling us at all is a major improvement from before, so we'll take that victory where we can." (Odile teased as she walked over, lightly ruffling your hair some.)

"And no matter what anyone says, I'm the elder around here." (She added... you weren't quite sure if that was a joke, or some sort of threat.)

"But it's been a long day for everyone, let us get some rest and maybe we'll figure out what to do about this in the near future. For now, our plans remain the same, off to Bambouche to find Boniface's dear sister." (Stars, you completely forgot...)

"Uhh… actually..."

"... She left to try and find us, didn't they?"

"... I don't remember where they ended up either..." (Odile pinches her temple and gives a long sigh.)

[crisis-starter]

Hello

I did not expect to write Odile’s moment in less than half a day.

Stars, its twice as long as Mirabelle’s and that took me 2 or 3 days to do.

Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy!

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

Odile was by the staircase in the final room, waiting to talk with Siffrin. The entire trek through the house was filled to the brim with suspicious activity. Facial expressions, behaviors… it was all strange. And with the knowledge of Wish Craft and Time Craft… she had an idea of what was happening. Bonnie was seemingly thinking about something. She had never seen the child be so quiet before. And Isabeau was looking right at her. Siffrin was chatting with Mirabelle, so she awaited them. Soon they will have to talk to her, she could feel it.

Then she felt the slight twinge of Craft. Isabeau wasn’t looking at her anymore, instead performing an odd kind of craft, if his hand was any indication. And then she heard his voice in her head:

‘M’dame Odile. Please. Whatever you are planning to do right now? At least be gentle.’

Odile copied the hand signal she saw Isabeau making before replying, “He’s trapped himself, and subsequently the entirety of Vaugarde in time! Perhaps even worse than the King! And you don’t want me to say my piece?”

‘I am not saying that you shouldn’t say something. I’m saying that, if you are, please don’t push him. He is already that close to the edge.’

Odile was silent. Skeptical. She had an idea of Isabeau’s stance, but this really couldn’t go unsaid. Siffrin was hiding something that clearly felt like common knowledge to everyone except her. And Isabeau had this… worry in his voice. Like he knew something she didn’t.

‘M’dame. I… I can’t tell you right now. Because we’re on a time limit. But I will tell you what I remember seeing once we get back. Here’s to hoping you remember what happens next.’

Isabeau cut the connection there. Odile looked at Siffrin, and realized why. The rogue had finished talking with Mirabelle. She put her hand down and returned to reading through the notes of her investigation. Siffrin approached her, a seemingly disinterested expression on his face. The two glanced at each other before Odile started talking, “Ah. Woop woop, we did it, we won, etc.”

She wanted to start soft, somewhat. So why not comment on how she feels after the fight with the King? She continued, “Urgh. Whatever. This was… quite a workout. My entire body is screaming.” Odile rolled her shoulders a little. She did feel somewhat sore, “Savior of Vaugarde, huh? That’s something to add to my list of accomplishments.”

Maybe mulling over any future plans may help a smoother transition? She didn’t know. She never said she was… good at this, “But now, I can finally go back to traveling. I’d be curious to visit more Vaugardian cities and hear what they have to say about an event like this. It’ll be weird to travel alone now, but I’ll get used to it again. Or I could just go home to Ka Bue… Hm…” Maybe she could convince the others to travel with her? Not right now, that would be too… embarrassing. Everyone here has their own life. She didn’t want them to put it aside so easily over a grown woman not wanting to leave without a proper goodbye and happy, stress-free memories to take with her.

Siffrin hid in their collar as they spoke, “To do your fake research?” There it was. Another suspicious detail. How they knew her research was fake was a bit of a mystery but she needed to say something, “…Yes. My fake research…” She probably looked a bit… frustrated there. She quickly fixed her expression, “Don’t tell anyone. I’d like to see Isabeau try to figure it out for a little longer. Very excited to hear what he comes up with next. Spoonology? Bananalogy?” Siffrin’s expression changed to that of an odd smile. A fabricated one. Concern began to blossom in her heart.

Maybe Isabeau was right.

Siffrin joked, “Bananalogy would be quite aPEELing.” Odile didn’t find it funny. But… at least fake something, “Hah… Yes.” Her face softened, “Ha… I’ll miss you, Siffrin. You’re a little strange, but you’re a good kid. Maybe try letting down your walls every once in a while, huh?” The researcher felt a smile sneak onto her face, “And come to Ka Bue anytime. Maybe we’ll meet again during your travels.” Odile really hoped so. Siffrin forced himself to smile. Wait.

Odile looked at Siffrin, concern fueling her entire being, “…Siffrin, is everything-“ Siffrin’s expression flashed into something akin to confusion for a second. Odile looked around. Bonnie, Mirabelle, and Isabeau were looking at her, worried. Great. She had spectators now. But… was she the main act? She sighed, hoping to brush off the added tension. She hoped that this would go smoothly. Odile asked, softly, “But really, is everything okay?” Siffrin is back to that fabricated smile, “What do you mean?”

Oh… Oh this is how things will have to go, huh. She continued, “I don’t know, Siffrin. You’ve felt off since yesterday. More withdrawn, mostly. Tell me what’s wrong.” Siffrin continued avoiding the question, “Nothing’s wrong!” This defiance… it was messing with Odile’s patience. But she was trying, “…it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, you know. I’ll find out eventually.” She probably already did. Maybe everyone did, and she doesn’t remember. Siffrin replied, hiding in their collar again, “But I’m not hiding anything.” And that was the final straw. All attention was on them both. She was starting to get a headache. Time to lay it all out, no matter how harsh it felt.

Odile looked at Siffrin, abandoning any kind of calm or leniency, “Is that so.” She made her frustration known, “Is that so? So Time Craft has nothing to do with you?” Siffrin dropped the facade and grew shocked, “No that’s-“ Odile will not let him deny it. She continued, noticing Isabeau trying to approach. No. She needed to say her piece, “And the fact that you knew how to read that book about Wish Craft… Knew how to wish correctly, when no one else did… It doesn’t mean anything, either?”

Siffrin gave that fake smile, only more shaky, “It’s not like that, I-“ She was cornering them. No more excuses, just continue, “And the way you’re acting, doing that stupid smile like nothing’s wrong… It doesn’t mean anything, either?!?” The smile was dropped. Siffrin was looking at Odile, shaken. Silent. There’s more evidence.

She looked away slightly, still stern, “I’m not stupid, Siffrin. If I find something strange, I can do nothing except give it my full attention.” She turned her attention back to Siffrin, “And you are acting strange.” Siffrin looked stressed. Staring at her with this need to run away, but being unable to. Her headache was getting worse. She’ll deal with it later.

It was at this point she made her anger known, “There were so many signs… I did not understand them, but now I do! You’ve been acting strange since you woke up from your nap, yesterday!” She started to ramble on about more evidence that came to mind, “When we talk to you, you act out of it, almost bored… And the way you reacted to the rocks falling… We all jumped, but you just looked at them fall, calmly.” Odile rose her voice again, “And there’s so many other things, the way you reacted to so many things throughout our entire journey through the House!” The researcher faltered a little, “And, and… How every time you found the keys we needed to proceed, you didn’t seem surprised, like you knew exactly where they were. Even that key in the classroom. Almost like…” Odile looked at Siffrin for answers, “…Like you had found them before, maybe?”

Siffrin started to grow panicked, “B-but that’d be impossible, though!” Isabeau was looking at the two of them, nervous yet willing to step in. Siffrin attempted to reason. To save themselves, “How could I have known where the keys were when it’s my first time here?!?” Odile, frustrated, asked, “I don’t know, Siffrin, why don’t you enlighten me?!” Siffrin’s breathing was escalating. Odile continued, “Don’t think I believed that whole ‘I wished croissants would disappear~’ thing, too. So, if you lied about your wish… What did you wish for, then? That’s it, isn’t it?” The researcher looked at her hands, “Did something happen? To you, to us? Did we die against the King, maybe?” Odile looked up, spotting Siffrin pulling at his hair. Oh no. She only had one thing left to say, then she could try to start calming Siffrin down. It’ll be okay. She finished by asking, “Is that why you’re repeating the same events, Siffrin?” She was about to maybe ask Siffrin to calm down and relax before it happened.

Siffrin snapped back, “SHUT UP!!!”

Everyone was startled by the outburst. Odile herself was shaken. Isabeau was right. She couldn’t be a bit softer, huh? And now, Siffrin was on the edge of a breakdown. The traveler continued, breath ragged and irregular, “Even if you figure it out, Odile… It’s too late! It’s too late! It’s always too late!!!” Siffrin looked right into Odile’s eyes as they spoke, a combination of panic and rage in his eyes, “Did you have to figure it all out now, when it’s all about to end? You can’t help me, Odile!!! No one can!!!”

Isabeau was stunned, muttering a quiet, “Sif, Odile…?” Bonnie was hidden behind Mirabelle, asking, “What’s happening? Why are you yelling?” …When did they get so close? Odile’s headache was getting worse. The air started to feel strange. Her heart was pounding in her ears.

Siffrin continued, erratic, “It’s too late!!! YOU CAN’T HELP ME!!!” Odile tried to get a word in, but couldn’t. So she continued to listen to Siffrin’s pleas, “And I think, weirdly, I don’t even want you to help me?” Siffrin gave a panicked smile, “Why don’t I want you to help me?”

Odile felt her hands shaking. What… was this her fault? Was she the final straw? All she could really do was try to ask them to calm down, “Siffrin-“ But she couldn’t even do that without being cut off, “Maybe because I know that if you help me, you’ll start hating me!!!”

What?

“Because I don’t know why this is all happening, but-“

Wait.

“It must be because of me, that we’re repeating the same events!!!”

Siffrin stop. Please, you’ll hurt-

“And if you knew that, you’d hate me-“

Mirabelle cried out, “Siffrin?!” Maybe to snap him out of it. The air tasted like sugar. A taste so strong, it was horrible. A terrible omen. Siffrin continued, “And I don’t want you to hate me. So, so, so-“

And everything stopped before everyone was sent back to their places. Odile was silent. She decided… to say something, “Siffrin, please. You don’t… have to talk to me. But I will find out somehow. What’s causing you… harm.” She already knew. But maybe it was more comforting to claim ignorance. Siffrin quickly fabricated a smile before cheerfully saying, “Maybe, teehee!”

That… that felt unsettling.

Bonnie, Mirabelle, and Isabeau looked at Odile, worried. Odile herself? She wanted to sit down. She felt faint. That was so much information to take in at once.

Just how… how deep has Siffrin buried himself?

Siffrin faced her, the same chilling smile on their face. Odile stated, “Alright, well, if that was all…” Siffrin took this as his cue to leave as Isabeau straightened his act up.

Once Siffrin was gone, Odile sat down on the stairs. Her headache was gone, but she felt guilty. She just sat there silently, internalizing information.

It seemed that her spacing out helped pass by sooner, because she soon found Isabeau by her side, trying to check if she was doing okay. She could barely hear him.

Her eyes were on Siffrin. They hesitated a little before trying to talk to the Head Housemaiden. Then they approached her. They happily told Euphrasie about something. She responded happily.

Then the pressure in the air grew. Something was wrong. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that out. The Head Housemaiden was dismayed. Siffrin pleaded with her.

She crouched down to Siffrin’s level, cupping the rogue’s cheeks with her hands. She made sure she was close to Siffrin as tears streamed down her face. Siffrin was stunned. He couldn’t move. The world grew darker. Something was happening. Something was oh so horribly wrong.

A lightless shade almost appeared to engulf everything. For a split second, Odile saw something. Hundreds of silhouettes. They all looked just like Siffrin. All looking at Euphrasie. And then…

She awoke and stumbled back, nearly crashing into the shelf behind her. Her heart was pounding. So she attempted to calm down. Then she heard someone enter the shop.

Isabeau was trying to catch his breath at the entrance. He looked at Odile, worried, “Are you alright, M’dame?” Odile just looked at him, shocked. Her hands were shaking again. Isabeau sighed, “So… you remember, hm?”

)•{+}•<>+<>•{+}•(

This was VERY fun to write.

So… those are the 4 “loop awakenings”.

I’ll compile them all in chronological order and post it to AO3 (which was the original plan but I felt like you folks would like it).

I hope you have a good day/night! Until next time!