#They've been trying to drain my money more and more lately | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

virtual-scallop · 2 years ago

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Thoughts on Nintendo and Going Forward

Y'know what? I know I'm a nobody, tiny streamer... but I gotta say, I'm definitely just... full on boycotting Nintendo now.

For a while, I just left things at "oh, I'll opt for used games!"... but as I see more and more things happening, I realize I just need to detach further.

From the mid 2000's, up 'til like, a short while after 2017, I've considered myself a Nintendo fan. My favorite clump of game studios. And when the Switch hit it big in 2017, I was excited to see my favorite studios gain mainstream appeal again! ...I see now that this was a mistake, lmao.

Like, Nintendo's always been a company, and done messed up things over the years... but with the unfortunate absence of certain figureheads like the late Satoru Iwata... and the fact that Nintendo doesn't have to try as hard from their wealthy position...

Nintendo isn't a company now. Nintendo is a COMPANY™. Soul has left the building.

Ever since 2018, I've been seeing the garbage more and more...

They overprice the things they release. Examples include: - Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze's Switch Port - Nintendo Switch Online Expansion Pack

They release things before they're done and stable. Examples include: - Link's Awakening Switch Remake - Pokémon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl - Pokémon Scarlet & Violet

Not to mention cases of games that are incomplete and then ship out less than desirable updates to these games as if they're piling extra content on top out of the goodness of their heart. Examples include: - Mario Tennis Aces - Honestly their sports games in general - Animal Crossing New Horizons

They've put less quality control into their hardware: - This has manifested in things like Joy Con drift... - ...and rather than fix it, they sweep it under the rug in court

Or what about legacy content and piracy? - They fail to offer substantial means of playing their older library - They swing down excessively hard on the alternative, piracy - They've ruined lives over this to send a message - When they do offer legacy content, it's poor (N64 Online) - They exploit Fear Of Missing Out with vaulted products (3D All Stars)

It's as if Nintendo is on a dedicated warpath to be as anti-consumer as they can be.

But of course, the simple answer is that they're a greedy company utilizing whatever tactics they deem necessary to get as much money as possible.

And y'know what? I'm sick of it. I don't have to put up with it anymore.

I don't care if they defined my childhood and taste in games. There are talented developers over there, but the ones calling the shots are so reprehensible. Are they the worst company out there? No, but they're definitely marching up the anti-consumer building.

They truly are the Disney of video games, in the worst way possible.

As a streamer, I'm done streaming their games. It no longer sits right to. This accounts for future games like Tears of the Kingdom and Splatoon 3 DLC... and ones in my backlog like Hyrule Warriors and Mario and Rabbids Kingdom Battle.

There's plenty of other games out there. Nintendo's not the only kid on the playground.

Nintendo games are not worth the garbage they put fans and developers through. I'll always have a fondness for the stuff by their talented devs, but the company going forward is no longer exciting. It's draining.

And honestly? I'm unfortunately not even optimistic in their ability to change for the better anytime soon. Even if they released a Switch 2, and it were to somehow bomb and put them at a disadvantage like with the Wii U... it probably won't humble them. With Iwata no longer there, I doubt the ones in charge would cut their pay. They would likely sooner cut pay and lay off tons of employees.

Is this purely hypothetical? Yes. However it still worries me.

So I'm done. Good bye. Peace. Good luck in hell, Nintendo.

#rambling roxy #roxy rants

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unmeinohazama · 5 years ago

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'....I want to touch you so bad, that it's difficult to keep my hands off of you.'

'I can't control my desire for you.'

'The one able to make me this passionate, is only you.'

#ikemen revolution #ikemen kakumei #ikerev #kakumei jp event #jonah clemence #They've been trying to drain my money more and more lately #8ends ECB on 63.750 points LMAO

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enchantedblackrose · 4 years ago

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Safe Again

Not my image. Google image search

Pairing: Antonio/Fem Reader

Requested @fabyoliveira1999

Summary: Y/n is kidnapped when an undercover assignment goes wrong

¡Warnings: Swearing, mentions of blood, allusions of sexual assault, potential police brutality? All very in line with the show

A/n 1: this is a work of fiction. The gang and names used are completely made up and not meant to reflect any real persons. Thank you.

2: Part 2 will be a fluff drabble

Safe Again

A darkness overcomes you as you slip out of consciousness. The steady beeping of the machines around you are now frantic, their shrill sound piercing the ears of everyone around.

Antonio yells out your name as hospital staff force him from your room. It isn't until Hank and Kevin pull him by his shoulders does he fully retreat. He sees a familiar face in the hallway and remembers a conversation he's been meaning to have.

"Halstead!" Antonio's voice shakes in anger. He stands face to face with the younger detective. His finger accusingly pointing.

"How the hell did this happen in the first place, man? You were supposed to have her back!"

Jay's voice was quiet. "I know." He drops his head in hands. "I'm so sorry, man. I should've pulled us out of there."

"You were supposed to watch her." Antonio strains to speak, his tone is much softer this time as he fights back the tears threatening to spill. Wordlessly, he claps Jay's shoulder, giving it an affectionate and apologetic squeeze. None of this is Jay's fault. Antonio knows this and instantly regretted taking his emotions out on his colleague.

-72 hours prior-

You're sitting in the bullpen, having just been assigned to go undercover with your partner acting as your boyfriend. The idea being that the two of you would infiltrate the known drug gang the Scorpions as potential buyers and dealers for the more upscale neighborhoods the leader, Sammy, was trying to reach.

Your actual boyfriend is the first to speak. "Oh hell no. You're not doing this," Antonio tells you, earning a hard stare from you in return. "She's not doing this," he shifts his attention to Voight. "These...thugs are ruthless. They're killers."

Hank's eyebrow shoots up, wordlessly questioning Antonio. "Watch yourself there. Last I checked this was my unit. I give the orders."

"Sarge, if I may," you interrupt. "I'm willing to do this. I've successfully gone undercover before and I've gone alone," you remind not only your sergeant, but your boyfriend. "I want to do this." Your eyes fall to Antonio momentarily before looking back to Hank.

"Do whatever you need to prepare," he orders. You nod, reaching for your cell phone. Hank turns around and heads into his office. Antonio is hot on his heels, letting the door slam shut behind him after giving you a displeased look.

You huff an angry sigh. From his desk, Jay offers a sympathetic smile. "He's coming from a good place, y/n," he reminds you. "He's just scared. He knows you're more than capable of handling yourself out there."

Appreciating Jay's words, you nod your gratitude and make the call to set up this meeting.

You are fuming the entire walk up the stairs to your apartment. Antonio follows closely behind. You wait until the door closes completely before angrily spinning back in your heel to glare at him.

"Do you have any idea how demeaning and humiliating it is to not only have my boyfriend, but a superior colleague to react that way in front of my sergeant? Our sergeant? This is important, Antonio! And I'm not some rookie. I've done this before! You have no right-"

"You're right," his voice is calm and not at all what you expected to hear. "And I'm sorry, mi amor. I made sure to tell Voight before we left that I support you doing this and promised to not let my feelings compromise this case."

"Oh." You feel your anger start to dissipate. "In that case…can you order dinner, please? I'm going to take a quick shower." You stand on your tiptoes, pecking his lips softly with yours before heading to the bathroom.

Today was the day you and Jay, or rather your aliases Roxie and Ray (you relentlessly teased Jay about his lack of creativity), were meeting Sammy, having already built a rapport with some of the other members lower in the chain of command. If it went well, today should be the day you make the bust. Both of you step into the garage to meet the team and go over plans one last time. You're in a body flattering dress hitting right above your knees, Jay in a suit sans necktie.Your friends whoop and catcall Part of your personas was playing a bored, wealthy, money-motivated couple and you had to look, not just act, the part. As Antonio approaches, Jay excuses himself saying he'll be in the car waiting whenever you're ready. Antonio's voice is quiet. "There's still time. Don't do this."

"I thought you supported me."

"I did...I do! I just can't let you-"

"Let me?" You yell, earning the unwanted attention of those nearby. You shake your head, hurt and disappointment shine in y/e/c eyes. You walk away without another word, getting into the passenger side of the car

You reach the autobody garage the Scorpions use as a front. Immediately they pat you both down by a few members you've met during the time undercover. You're positive your inspection is more thorough as he squeezes your one ass cheek.

"Hey man," Jay shouts seeing you get groped.

"It's alright, babe," you wink. "Rico's only appreciating a good thing when he sees it." Rico smirks before declaring, "They're both clean."

Sammy, and another man you recognize from case files, Nic enter. "What's this? Who did you bring me?"

"These chumps are gonna be your new sellers."

Sammy's eyes hone in on you. You hold his gaze. "Hell naw," Nic says. "They brought you cops."

"Oh, please," you say, rolling your eyes. "With this face and ass-he knows, he felt it," you point to Rico, "I'm too fine to be a cop." You flash a cheeky smile.

"Bitch, shut up!" The back of his hand connects with your right cheek. The stinging causes your eyes to water. Beside you, Jay flinches; it's hard from him not to react.

'Listen man, I don't know what you think is going on. We just-"

"You can shut up, too."

You hear the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking, turning to see it pointed at Jay. Sammy gives a nod to one of the others.

"Look out," you try to warn Jay, but it's too late. The butt of a gun hits Jay in the temple and he gets kicked at the back of his knee until he falls to the ground. His head hits the cement flooring hard. You don't understand why the team hasn't busted in yet.

Nic's gaze is on you. "You testified at Dierk's hearing." His fist swings and it makes contact with your jaw. It's enough to make you sway but you remain on your feet. "He was my cousin you, stupid bitch. Get her in the car. Leave him."

As you're forced into a black SUV, you manage to choke out a weak,"Jay, " your stained voice sounding unrecognizable to your own ears.

The equipment they sent you in with was faulty. Voight was furious as was Antonio. They whole worked diligently to get video or audio, anything to keep tabs on you and Jay. It's not until the SUV, with you unbeknownst to them inside, peels out, that the whole team moves in and finds Jay bleeding and unconscious on the floor. Kevin reaches him first. "He's alive!" he shouts to the others. Adam radios for an ambo before he and the others continue to clear the building. Kevin gently shakes Jay awake. He groans, hands instantly reaching the side of his head. He makes to stand.

"Easy there, brother," Kevin warns. Jay lets Kevin help him to his feet. "We've got a bus on the way."

Jay nods, "I'm fine. Where's y/n?"

"She's not here. No one is," Hank answers as the rest of the team draw near Jay. Jay's stomach plummets as he realizes they've taken you, his partner.

"Son of a bitch!" Antonio yells, kicking an oil drum.

"We work fast to get y/l/n back," Hank declares. "Check for surveillance, witnesses. We find that SUV and we find y/n. Alive

Any means necessary. Let's move." The team disperses and his hand clasps Jay's shoulder. "You get checked out by medics first." Jay opens his mouth to argue, but shuts it quickly. He nods his compliance. Hank and Antonio follow him to the ambulance that's just arrived.

"Hey boss," Jay speaks, with a tentative glance to Antonio. "This went south when Nic recognized y/n as the detective who testified against his cousin. Hank pursed his lips, but even in his anger, the color drains from Antonio.

"Voight," Antonio's voice almost cracks.

"We'll get her back."

Bloodied and bruised, you're alive with very little clue as to where you are. Your survival skills kick in.

You take note of your surroundings. You think you're in an unfinished basement of a residence. Definitely a lower floor as you remember being tossed down a flight of stairs. Your hands are bound behind your back and tied to a support beam. The door to upstairs is locked and even if it wasn't, based on all the noise coming from the floors above you'd never make it out undetected.

The door opens and heavy footsteps make their way towards you. Nic comes into your line of vision.

You try reasoning with him, "As far as I'm concerned, nothing's been done that can't be undone. You just gotta let me go."

"You don't get it, do you? Maybe this will clear things up for you." He draws his gun, pressing it into the middle of your forehead

"But first I'm gonna fuck you real hard." His face inches from yours. Nic pulls the gun away. His stale, hot breath reeking as he stands too near. You couldn't help but scoff before you throw your head into his, headbutting him with all the might you could.

He cries out in agony.

"Stupid bitch." He backhands you. Then grabs you by the chin. His furious eyes never leave you and a rough hand claws at the skirt of your dress. You feel cold metal pressed against your thigh. "First, I'm gonna fuck that tight pussy with my gun inside you then-"

"Why?" You smirk. "Afraid you won't be able to get it up?" So much for those survival instincts. Anger flickers across his face. His free hand makes a fist. You dodge his swing and he instead makes contact with the pole. This enrages him more. Hastily Nic puts the gun back in his pants. Both his hands wrap themselves around your neck.

14 hours have gone by. That's how long it's been since Antonio's last seen you. He's hurt and getting desperate. With less than two hours of sleep (Antonio only went home after Voight said he wouldn't be any help without some rest), he was out trying to find any witnesses, checking traffic cams, and placing calls to all his CIs in hope that any of them might be able to give a lead. When one of them started stringing him along, Antonio jacked the guy up against an outside brick wall near the precinct. That's when Kim found him.

"We got something," she says in a hurry, fearing Antonio may do something he can't come back from.

The team picked up two Scorpion members and one is currently in the cage.

"Five minutes, Hank. Just give me the key and five minutes alone with this guy," Antonio pleads to his sergeant. From the cage, the Scorpion chuckles. Antonio lunges causing the chain links of the cage to rattle. He appears more animalistic than human and the laughter does immediately. "Where is she, you bastard?" Hank looks at the guy, still refusing to talk, then he unlocks the door for Antonio.

"Are you crazy? You can't let him in here with me," he shrieks.

"Your boss has one of our own. And she just so happens to be his girlfriend, so you're crazy if you think I could really stop him if I wanted to," Hank answers before moving away from the door and heading upstairs. The door barely swings open before Antonio steps inside, knocking the guy to his ass with one punch. He picks him up by the shirt collar preparing another blow when Jay and Adam come flying down the stairs.

"Get outta here!" Antonio yells.

"We got an address. Atwater and Kim they picked up another member and he talked," Adam says breathlessly. Antonio hesitates.

"C'mon on man," says Jay, "He's not worth any more of your time. If y/n's there, let's go bring her home."

Hours have passed. How many you're unsure, but as they ticked by your hopes of being found or escaping dwindled. Pain flows through your entire body. You sit on the cold, hard basement floor, unable to stand anymore. Nic had strangled you until you passed out. He never touched you like he promised and when you regained consciousness you were alone.

Shouts came from upstairs. You're unable to hear every word, but you catch enough to know they're talking about you.

"We need to move her now. We've kept her alive too long!" You hear footsteps and then the opening of the door. Nic appears before you, with a sinister grin. Your heart races as he nears. His eyes roam your body as he undoes his belt. He pulls you to your feet by your hair. A whimper escapes you and he laughs. Once again, his hands pull at the skirt of your dress. His hands travel along your thighs and ass squeezing both. His touch makes your skin crawl that you actually shudder. His fingers start to tug your underwear down when there's a commotion from upstairs.

"Freeze! Chicago PD."

"Drop the weapon!"

"On your knees! Face down."

"I said drop it!"

Your heart flutters with hope, but then shots ring out and you have no idea who's firing or what's happening up there.

"Down here!" You yell. The basement door opens.

"Chicago PD!" Antonio and Jay's voices ring out.

"One male. He's got a gun," you warn. As they rush down the stairs, Nic pulls his gun on you.

"Drop your weapon!" Jay orders. His eyes perfectly fixated on the gun in Nic's hands. Antonio eyes you carefully and while seeing you bruised and a gun to your head isn't ideal, he's relieved to see you alive. Your colleagues' guns stay fixed on your offender. "You won't be told again. Drop. Your. Weapon." Your eyes lock with your boyfriend's beautiful brown ones and you nod ever so slightly. You slide down the pole as Nic moves towards you as if he was going to use you as a shield. Both Antonio and Jay fire their guns. Blood splatters onto you. Jay moves to check the body, but all you really notice is Antonio running to you and it's honestly a beautiful sight. "Baby, baby, baby. Hang on. I got you," he soothes, working quickly to free your hands of the zip ties. Your head falls into his chest. Really your whole body just collapses into him. Antonio holds you close, careful not to embrace you too hard, but his touch has never felt better. You sob uncontrollably as he begins to rock you.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," you repeat.

"Shh. You did nothing wrong, mi amor. Shh, now, baby. I got you. You're safe again."

Immediately you're taken to the hospital. Blood is drawn,xrays taken, exams given. You've sustained several injuries, but nothing critical. Mostly you're bruised and exhausted, so when the machines you're hooked up to start beeping erratically, Antonio is confused and scared again, clearly demonstrated by that outburst directed at Jay.

He opens his mouth to apologize when Will Halstead exits your room.

"You can go back in now," he says simply.

The intelligence team looks at him, confused.

"What the hell just happened?"

"Y/n wasn't breathing properly."

"What?"

Will puts his hands up. "No no. She's fine. She can breathe. She was sleeping and wasn't breathing deep enough for the machine to register it. I promise she's fine."

There's a collective sigh of relief from everyone.

Antonio coming back into your room is a most welcoming sight. There's so much to say, but your eyelids are heavy with sleep. Instead you take his hand in yours. Antonio's free hand lovingly caresses your face.A feeling of safety washes over you and you drift off into a peaceful dream.

#antonio dawson x reader #antonio dawson x you #antonio dawson imagine #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #antonio dawson #requested

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petekaos · 4 years ago

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Rahul yes! Absolutely watch the stranded once you have time! It's such a good show and you also get to join the SUS2 club (suffering until season 2) ♡

Work's fine, it's just that as a more of an introverted person customer service can be draining. And since I'm still new I'm constantly afraid of making mistakes and getting scolded... But at the moment I'm completely slacking off since I only have one more shift this week. Not a good thing money-wise but I appreciate a break rn. So I've been practicing self-care aka rewatching all the aired cherry magic episodes once again and drinking way too much milk tea. I've also been meaning to make the tangerine pie for what feels like ages now but I can't seem to find a recipe I'm satisfied with so do you have any suggestions or should I just make up my own? 🤔

Hctm... Yeah, one more reason to expect great things from bad buddy. And I have faith in ohm and nanon's performance considering they're so close irl, though ohm probably could have chemistry with even a trashcan if he had to. And faiza really is keeping the lovely writer hype going and I have to appreciate that! On the topic of other blogs, I don't think I ever thanked you for the list you compiled for me in my anon days, just know that they've been on my dash ever since ♡

How're things with you lately? Any holiday plans yet? I love our convos so much too, I was worried I'd come off as annoying or that you liked the mystery of anonymity more so hearing you say that makes me ❤❤ Sorry though, I clearly have a problem with making my asks brief and to the point...

Sending holiday hugs! 💛

neneeeeee!!! aaaah so sorry for the fairly late reply but here i am now! i’ve seen everyone suffering and begging for s2 hnshfg it’s truly frightening but also i am very intrigued as to watch it! just have to get through every other show on my neverending watchlist... mess.

ah i’m sorry about work, that’s rough :( however, i’m sure you’ll get used to it soon and that you’ll form a routine! customer service can be incredibly draining though so i’m glad you’re getting some kind of break at least. milk tea and cherry magic sounds wonderful, i can’t wait until i get my break in a couple of weeks so i, too, can just sit down and rest for a while and find some time to write, gif, and watch new shows! everything’s been a bit hectic right now and i have so many things to catch up with :( this time of year is difficult for everyone though, especially this year, and so i’m glad you’ve been holding up okay, all things considered.

also tangerine pie!! yeah, it can be difficult to find a recipe and i rarely make it myself because i can never find tangerines BUT this is the recipe i used a while ago, because i love gingersnaps and i thought it worked well! once i get my break, i’m going to try and bake more and see if i just can’t find some tangerines and tweak this recipe a bit. but feel free to go wild with it - tangerines go super well with ginger, cinnamon, and i’m partial to tangerines and blueberries/lemons myself! they’re a fairly sweet fruit and so depending on your taste, it’s always fun to pair it with something sourer that’ll compliment it too. this has just turned into a tangerine ramble fhsnfh i’m sorry!!

aaaah i am so hyped for bad buddy! yeah, considering their close friendship irl, they’re gonna have super good chemistry, and also they’re both brilliant actors so i know they’ll deliver. i just hope people aren’t weird about them or try to ship them irl... that goes too far for me. and omggg your anon days!!! ah i remember that blog list still, they’re all so lovely and i’m so glad you like them too!

i’ve been doing okay! busy busy busy as always and i feel like i may be nearing a burnout but i have some time off soon so it’ll be time for me to rest and heal haha :^) no holiday plans unfortunately :( the original plan was to drive down to a neighbouring country and see some friends but since covid cases here are rising again we’ve decided it’d be smarter and more responsible to relent from that and see each other when it’s safer! i’ll probably (hopefully) just bake a lot and write a lot! i’m thinking about pete, kao, and achara in japan... they’d have so much fun going there in the winter holidays and seeing all the snow!

you never come off as annoying at all! i love your long asks, they always put a smile on my face and i hope my answers aren’t too rambly lmaoo!! but what about you - any plans for the holidays? and since i was just rambling on and on about tangerine pie - what’s your favourite dessert? ALSO speaking of cherry magic - who’s your favourite character? [eyes emoji] mine has to be udon-chan bc if you made me pick the humans i would PERISH. either way, many holiday hugs to you my friend! 💛

#i keep forgetting there's an ask limit on asks i'm like 'omg i feel like i reply for AGES to nene but that's bc u have a word limit'#i meant word limit not ask limit. mess.#rahul answers #pk anon #sunsetchimyeon

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fairycosmos · 5 years ago

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Suicide tw Chloe the person I was kinda seeing is in a really tough spot mentally and financially and live with their shitty dad and I barely get to see them bc they cant pay to bus into town or anything and the only times they've messaged me lately was to vent and say they wanted to k*ll themselves then shot down all my options like texting lifeline and shfjfjf idk if I'm mentally equipped for this bc I've had it in relationships before and it always goes to shit :(

:(( goddd i’m so sorry to hear that babe. i know how fucking hard it is to watch the people you care about go through shit without being able to help them. but the bottom line is that love can not cure mental illness and it’s truly not your job to know what to do, or to fix things for them. it’s not a matter of personal character or a testament to how much you care about them, it’s literally just the truth. you have such a limited impact on their life due to money, distance etc and so literally all you are physically capable of is being there for them through text, which you have been doing. you don’t have to be equipped for this kind of situation, you’re literally not a therapist and you really don’t need to take on that guilt. it’s not yours to carry. you’ll just exhaust yourself. it seems like your friend is in a really bad place right now, and when your mind is stuck there, it can be so fucking difficult to even consider the idea of calling a lifeline or engaging in self help. it’s like you’re on another plane of reality or smth. but as an outsider, it’s still good to make them aware of their options, and to remind them that they’re not alone, which you did. maybe in a moment of desperation, they’ll remember your words, even if they shot them down initially. anyway my point is, if you need to take a step back from this then you’re totally within your right to do so. putting healthy boundaries into place is important, and it doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them, it means you’re a human being. i know you’re concerned, but it’s only natural to get overwhelmed by the constant heaviness and the gravity of the situation. you can’t take this on all by yourself, you know? even professionals can’t help those who aren’t willing. look, if you think your friend is ever in danger of harming themselves, then call the authorities. alert the people around them (who aren’t abusive) if you can. when you’re in the right head space, try to be there for them and offer emotional support if possible, and if you want to. that’s all you can control, man. only your friend can decide to get the help they need, and only they can begin the process of recovery and reaching out. if they’re not at that point yet, they simply won’t hear you out no matter how much you mean what you say. but you’re extending your hand, and that’s more than good enough. it’s up to them if they take it to haul themselves up. again, i’m so sorry. i understand how nuanced and complicated this must be, so words probably don’t compare to the depth of it all. but i just want you to know that it’s ok to look after yourself, too. you’re doing what you can with whats in your hands, and i’m proud of u, but you’re under no obligation to act as a counselor. especially if they’ve literally only been contacting you to vent. that shit can be emotionally draining, and you deserve a break too. take care and imo, it’s sufficient to simply act with the right intentions, for yourself and others. sending a lot of love your way and i hope better days are ahead for both of you.

#tw suicide #anon

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the-firebird69 · 2 years ago

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It's a very large eye the pressure is very high and there's no reason why it's not flooding and he says it's going to be a lot of rain after but it should move out because it's getting absorbed and high tide is going to be hours away from the 2:00 p.m. landfall and by the time 2 hours goes by the storm has passed most of it it's absolutely true and there's a lot of people who want to sabotage the channels and we're going out and we're stopping them

Mac

We do get this so we too are out there stopping people and they're a bunch of clones who are trying to sabotage the channels and they set off a sewer alarm near a sun to try and cover the tractor sound but we're going to go out there and it's going to be a field day free Intel

Thor Freya

So I guess I mean what I said and there's tons of people have been pushed around all day like Batman and the date is worth a lot more than flooding ourselves out so we have to do a s***** job

Mac

It's a huge group of them heading towards punta Gorda and we're intercepting it happened all morning and this guy John remillard is trying it that's why he heads to it Midwest after Georgia what they're trying to do is stick stuff in the pipe so it's it would plug up the end of it and didn't work and they can't get to the end of it Jim Carrey tried to put a bunch of foam in it and it was caught and arrested they both have been arrested like 20 times and I see an image of our friend up on the roof and he's saying so what and they can't get it so I can just cost him some money in time so we're going to hit you but truthfully a lot of people don't understand why the storm's not doing that right now the shelf has dropped off from 5 to 10 miles out there four steps but it goes down to about 400 ft and that's it right there there's not going to be storm surge as a matter of fact it's going to drop the level of water around Florida by 2 or 3 ft and it's what's needed it's happening right now it's very thankful and it says this stuff is very very close and he had to push for it and it would be a little late if he wasn't and it would look terrible and it would be terrible and still might be because of this is a very very powerful Storm still it's category 4 it is reducing and will be category 3 by the time it gets to punta Gorda which is not that bad they've gone through it before but our son is not and it's a lot closer now believe it or not it's like 25 miles away and it was 35 so it's going to be landfall pretty soon a lot earlier than 2:00 and right around low tide

Thor Freya

It's kind of my son's way is a f****** it looks for these holes he tries to make it work and delay stuff or speed it up and doesn't work and it's kind of an idiot and it always has been but we have to stop him so literally we're going out there and stopping these crews from coming in and there's a huge number of people stopping them I can't stand it anymore they're massive assholes

Mac

The storm is not flushing out the canals and we need the canals flushed out right at the end of our son's area it's starting to break away and in about 10 minutes because of the drop in the tide and the drop in the water level because the shelf dropped it's probably going to open up and drain out it's really needed and the neighbors needed to happen and they could do it with shovels if they so desired and it'll take like 5 minutes but they see it falling anyways and it wouldn't be their fault if they don't touch it but if they don't do something about it some of them are going to be flooded out and in a few minutes so they're going over there to break it and our son says just like four feet that has to come down like one foot and the rest will go out with erosion so they're kind of psyched about that because it's not really hard digging and they looked at it and said it's probably true and they look closer it's like a little teeny section of like two feet long and they just have to start it up he thinks so they're going over there now

Thor Freya

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causticsunshine · 3 years ago

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i wanted to put this up here too without having to make some text post you just pass by, but if i'm not around as much for louis tour or part(s) of it, i'm honestly too burnt out on life right now to be following it as closely as i truly want to, or really to be as involved in fandom/online as much as i usually am, even though i'd really like to be.

honestly? i feel really guilty about not having the energy for louis tour considering how long we've been waiting for the first proper solo tour, having my own show just over a month away, and how closely i was following the US leg of HSLOT 2021 before and after my concert.

i try to mention when things aren't going well so it's out there in a 'just so you know' kind of way but lately... i've honestly been in a near-constant state of Bad, and i don't know what to do anymore.

(very unedited and unfiltered rambling under the cut)

i'm not even embarrassed to say that i cried three separate times yesterday and i felt so awful last night i actually talked to a close friend last night about things—and please understand i do not like asking for help or being vulnerable when i'm not doing well; if i decide to at all i always either lessen the weight of things or talk about them in a very joke-y way instead of being direct and wholly honest—and we hung out for 2 hours eating taco bell and just talking despite me being on sleep aid and them needing to pack for a trip that started today. i also called out of work today despite only working two more days this week, just because my head hurts so bad and i can't stop crying for no reason every twenty minutes or so.

and...i don't just call out like that. i'm the person who lets themself be guilted into working on their days off and when they've been super sick and definitely shouldn't be walking around in public (let alone working??), as well as staying hours after i'm supposed to go home to 'help out'. i mean, i went to work the day after one of my oldest and closest friends died, even though i was told i didn't have to come in and then only stayed for three hours anyway because i was such a wreck that i got sent home.

right now, there's so many things at once that are wearing me down that shouldn't be wearing me down the way they are. i just get so overwhelmed so easily, and i hate it. i always feel like a fucking child, like i'm totally helpless, like i'm somehow just trying to get out of doing these things i need to do as an adult because 'i don't want to' when it physically feels like the world is caving in around me at all times, no matter what i'm doing.

but i can't seem to prevent it from happening or have it affect me less.

the biggest repetitive issue i can never seem to shake is: i can never seem to make enough money to afford to move out—which would really help my mental health and overall independence and self worth—and all i've worked is jobs that i don't enjoy because they're not what i want to be doing.

BUT, i also can't do what i actually want to do either because i stupidly picked a career path that's both not respected and doesn't pay frequently enough for most people in that field, so i have to continue to take on these jobs i don't want that in turn completely overwhelm and drain me because i don't want to be doing them, so i then don't have the energy to work on the things that will help me get into the field i want to get into...over and over again.

it's just this constant cycle of 1. no money for anything but lots of time, mental health on my side for once, lots of inspiration and drive but still not quite getting anywhere and 2. having money but no time, mental and physical health constantly waging a war on me, no inspiration or drive and definitely not getting closer to where i'd like to be, and the thing that just seems to keep me down and helping me stay in these cycles is... i'm always being told i'm not doing enough. or that i'm not doing well enough. that i don't try and i just make excuses and i 'should be better now' and all these other things i don't think my family understands is not helpful.

and yes, my relationship with my family is a lot better than it was when i was younger and yes, i'm very grateful they've let me live at home and when they do listen to me and understand, it feels really affirming, but almost everything i do is nitpicked and criticized, and almost constantly.

i've been told to give up on the 'big dreams' i have because they're 'clearly not attainable' either because it's me, or because of their own problems with having to settle and wait for things.

when i'm excited about an opportunity or achieve anything on my own, there's next to no reaction from them or it's somehow just not good enough, it's a waste of time, are you sure about that, etcetera.

and when i'm not doing well and i actually try to talk to them about it, i'm told things like 'see this is why you need to talk to your therapist more'—when my psychiatrist is really just there to make sure the one medication i'm on for ADHD is okay and i'm not on the verge of k-wording myself—and 'i don't think your medication is working' when for years all there was was denial over my mental health issues and shaming over considering taking medication

trying to explain to them how i get so easily overwhelmed by the things i really don't want to but have to do so i can fucking make money and be a functional adult able to move out and live on their own, and how doing those things genuinely makes me constantly anxious, lose sleep, make me sick and depressed and lose motivation etc., just to have them understand, does not work. all it is to them is excuses, and the whole 'you clearly need more therapy' thing comes into play.

not to mention how often i'm told i'm rude, i have a bad attitude, 'you were so nice, i don't know what happened', i'm so mean to my family but not my friends... and when i've talked to friends about if i am actually rude to my family, they've all told me that, 'the worst i've heard you is frustrated and it's not even that often, and when it has happened around me, it's kinda been warranted because they said something nitpicking or ribbing you for no reason'.

like????

so when i was talking to my close friend last night, said close friend who has similar issues with a parent about the mental health and work thing, they told me they think the main reason why i can never get as well as i'd like to be for these longer stretches of time, and why managing even a part-time work schedule with my serious art things as well as my hobbies is so overwhelming and stressful and never works out the way it very easily could, is: because i'm constantly being made to feel guilty and i can never make the right decisions, so nothing i do is good enough.

to paraphrase: you try to take charge and do what's best for you while still taking into consideration things they've told you, but it's never enough for them. like you've already gotten guilted over wanting to work 4 day weeks even though you're still working these early-ass shifts all day long the days you do work, at this shitty job no one wants to work, which understandably leaves you super exhausted and overwhelmed and without the energy to work what you actually want to do, when they know how bad your sleep issues are, and how much you'd rather be doing anything else.

i only took this stupid job so i wouldn't lose my car, or put any more financial hardship on my parents for helping me out, and i'm going to be stuck at this place until i find something else slightly more bearable with benefits (hopefully, because with my health issues i need insurance and i'll be off my family's plan in july whether i want it or not), and even then i know i'm going to risk falling into these awful patterns of not sleeping and not creating and always being overwhelmed and feeling stuck again, because there's no reprieve on the criticism.

i know this was so so long and i doubt anyone will read this far but i really just... i'm too overwhelmed at this point to devote real time to or energy on the things that distract me and bring me joy. i have all these art pieces half finished because my tablet doesn't want to work half the time and i can't afford to replace it and physical painting just takes time i don't really have right now in order to finish things when i'd like to, and now i'm worried about finishing momrry fic on time because i have so much to rewrite and edit and add in and just over a week to do that while working.

i'm so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and like nothing i do is good enough. i don't know what to do to remedy this constant guilt and anxiety, or find some semblance of balance in my life that makes living worth it, or how to finally stop feeling so stuck and like i'm never going to get better or achieve anything so why bother trying.

#this is really just a big long vent post so if you'd like to ignore it go ahead #i might delete later idk i hate being vulnerable but i'm trying to be more comfortable talking about these kinds of things #because the way i talk about them now definitely does the opposite of help #and if you do read there is talk of mental health issues (not really physical health issues here but it's glossed over)#and idk unhealthy? troubling? problematic? relationship with parents/family #alex talks

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shera-dnd · 3 years ago

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So yesterday I woke up at 6am to go do blood work. So I got back home 2 hours later, utterly drained of both sleep and blood, and proceeded to pass the fuck out for another 4 hours.

That didn't make for much rest or actual sleep, but what it made for was a weirdly detailed dream featuring freaking dream lore. No, I somehow can't stop world building even in my sleep.

Anyways I'm gonna share that dumb shit with you now

So it was superhero themed (which is weird because I haven't seen much superhero media lately) and the heroes were the POV characters, but they were also very uninteresting, and my brain promptly deleted any and all information on them.

All I remember is that they had to cross a mountain for some reason, and halfway through their little flyby they got attacked by the much more interesting villains. Two evil ladies that acted like a bickering married couple and their murder robot that was totally their adopted son.

These 3 were basically this story's team rocket, because it's implied that they've been at this very ineffectively for a while. They apparently were both henchmen for bigger villains before, but those villains got defeated and so they decided to get together and become their own band of super villains.

A fight broke out between the two groups, and then mid fight my brain decided to prove to me that I'm funnier asleep than I am awake.

Villain 1: "I can't believe we have to fight these idiots just to pay for groceries!"

Villain 2: "What do you mean you can't? That's literally how we got together in the first place!"

Villain 1: "And how long ago was that? I thought that by now we've at least have saved enough money to hire our own henchmen"

Villain 2: [pointed look at their death robot]

Villain 1: [eye roll]

Hero: "You know you could just find a different job, right?"

Villain 2: "Do you know how many transferable skills being a henchman has? NOT MANY!"

Hero: "You could become a hero"

Villain 1: "Look, we have principles, kid."

So at that point I was completely in love with those 2 lesbians and their robot son, but wait there's more.

Their fight triggers an avalanche and they're all nearly crushed to death in the process. It looks like they might be trapped in there for good, but then the snow begins to lift off of them and it's like "oh did the heroes and villains use their powers together to escape this?" NAH! It was a freaking super powered janitor.

And that's when my brain decides to stop playing a freaking normal dream and decided to give me a montage explaining the lore behind that freaking janitor.

So apparently that isn't a janitor, that is a type of entity known as a "Bob" (no, it doesn't explain if it's like a single entity that goes by Bob, multiple entities classified as Bobs, or if B.O.B. is like some weird government designation) which manifests in the form of a janitor.

Bobs manifest after super powered fights and then begin to undo any and all damage caused by it. They're impossibly strong, fast, durable, and even display telekinetic powers. If a Bob is somehow killed another one will immediately manifest and take its place. Bobs never fight, and only care about defending whatever it is that they're fixing.

Bobs manifest all over the world and can be of any gender, race, nationality, and sexuality (it fucking showed a Bob carrying a lesbian pride flag while fixing shit up at a Pride Parade). The only two constants seem to be that they're always janitors and that they always appear to be foreign to whatever nation they manifest in (hey brain are you trying to do a little social commentary in my fucking sleep?)

ANYWAYS the dream gets back to the plot at hand, which was the villains skedaddling off to go get some food, and the heroes being left behind going "?????" while the local Bob fixed up the mountainside.

I woke up soon after feeling very confused.

Why am I like this?

Like I'm absolutely gonna use all this shit for any future superhero themed RPGs I play

BUT WHY AM I LIKE THIS????

Can someone explain to me why my dreams always decide to feature world building?

Like this super powered janitor that showed up halfway through my dream couldn't just be a super powered janitor. No! My dream had to go into a whole montage showing what the fucking janitor actually was and how he works within the world and the rules behind it and

Y'all why am I like this?

#self indulgence #dreams #weird dreams #super heroes #I guess

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garbageivereleasedintothevoid · 6 years ago

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02-02-19 (Saturday)

Idk how to explain this but straight people have such a wildly different view on intimacy than queer people do. Like no cishet I've ever spoken to has ever understood that me cuddling with my best friend isn't sexual. Like I'm just cuddling... We love each other but we're not IN LOVE with each other. Hell, neither of us have any interest in that whatsoever. They're MARRIED. I was in the wedding. I think they are a great match with their wife. They balance each other out. She makes them happy and that makes me happy.

I can't tell you how many cishets have been absolutely weirded out by learning that I cuddle with my best friend. They just don't get it. "Don't you start feeling... Something?" Besides safe and happy, no. Idk. It's like they think they're gonna catch me doing something idk. I just feel safe and happy with them. Hell, Grover and I do, too, sometimes. Not a lot because Grover gets overstimulated a lot, not because it's weird.

Idk. Platonic cuddling is one of the milder things queer people do that cishets hate. Telling your friend they're cute is a slight step up. Talking to your friends about your kinks is interesting to try and say you do. Most are absolutely revolted. It's hilarious. Queer are so much more open about things to each other. Legitimately. I've had full on conversations about kinks and how to not be an ass about them and actual sexual escapades they've had with queer people I barely know. Cishet people I have known for years will give me small talk about the weather. This is why I feel queerness is like family. We're so open with each other. And we stick together. We're who we can trust. We already kinda know each other even if we don't. And we can almost always recognize each other. Gaydar isn't perfect but it's a good indicator. And not everyone has it. But I do. I have predicted people's queerness before.

And I'm gonna be honest, I get a small queer vibe from you. Not like as explicit as I usually get so I interpret that as "Mostly hetero but with maybe a few exceptions if she wasn't already in a committed relationship (which makes a huge difference tbh)." But I could be wrong. Gaydar, like I said, isn't perfect and sometimes it confuses people who are willing to talk about sex/the intricacies of sexual attraction/sexual boundaries with you with queer people. I could be wrong but that's the vibe I get. I also have some backup evidence for that, though it's sll subjective. Your kid being queer is one of them. Kids with queer bioparents (whether or not they know the parent is queer is irrelevant) are more likely to be queer. You've made vague references to experimentation before meeting your husband. You've also made some comments that make me believe you have some attraction to a specific woman. You don't have to acknowledge this or tell me anything. You owe me nothing on the subject. And if this isn't something you actually feel comfortable talking about to me, you should feel NO obligation. Just so we're clear. Also I think a lot about "What if *random person* is actually queer and either closeted/doesn't know it yet?" It's definitely not just you. So this is a common occurrence for me and not just a thought I had about you, I swear and I would be completely surprised if it wasn't a common thing for other queer people to think about as well. We always... We always think about how many of us there are. We wonder because there's no official count/statistic beyond the like 3.5% figure that I truly feel greatly lowballs how many of us there are. I really feel like we're at least 20% or more if the population. Also it's very difficult to get an accurate ciunt because the closet is still VERY necessary for many of us. I saw a post btw about that actually and it articulated a thought I'd been trying to summarize for a while.

That. That is something I think about a lot. I value happiness. Safety is great but if I'm not happy, what's the point? If I'm miserable and want to die, who cares if I'm safe. This is also why I felt better after becoming homeless. Because I wasn't being restricted as to what I could be anymore. Everything, every single decision about my life rested in my hands. I admit, I went a bit apeshit with the finding happiness thing. Went a bit too hedonistic and not enough responsibility but everyone has that, right? Everyone has that moment. But the difference is that most people's moments were like "I can have candy for breakfast and no one can stop me." Which is an appropriate reaction to being like 18 and livjng alone for the first time when your parents only exerted a healthy amount of control. But when every aspect of your life was controlled and your privacy repeatedly violated and disregarded, becoming a hermit who blows money on fast food whenever they get it (that's what I was in 2015) isn't as drastic as it would initially seem. I felt kinda drunk with power over my own life. And it's natural that I'd make some questionable decisions about it when I had the first instance of control I'd had in 22 years. I learned though. I don't eat out nearly as much as I would have in 2014 if I got $771 a month. I don't just stay in my apartment all the time enjoying the solitude (admittedly have been staying inside a lot more lately but it's been like 2° outside and people have been kinda draining for me lately.) For weeks on end. I don't take midnight strolls through neighborhoods I don't know for fun (because it occurred to me that no one could stop me. I was like "There's nothing to stop me from just walking around at midnight. No shelter worker threatening to kick me out. No parents trying to tell me I'm just using them. Nobody. I can just leave and never come back if I wanted to." I didn't have anywhere else to go... But if I HAD, I can't guarantee I wouldn't have just gone.) But it's a weird thing to realize the entire world has opened up to you now that your parents kicked you out. It's such an unexplainable feeling. I don't get it.

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