#They would not all go in all go out. — he won���t leave without Aelin… and probably Cairn dead

[seasonofthewicth]

candlelit cabin

prompt: Pretend boyfriend/girlfriend for family Christmas party. I took this prompt and ran with it. rowaelin 4.5k

“Rowan, please. Hear me out.”

Aelin positions herself in the doorway to their kitchen with a hand to his chest, blocking his way so he’s forced to hear her out. The cotton of his worn t-shirt is soft against her fingertips and she longs to twist her fingers into the fabric and pull him close. 

Rowan rolls his eyes but brings his hand up to cover hers against his chest. “Go on.”

She grins. She’s known Rowan for long enough now, lived with him for a few years too, to know that she’s going to get her way. 

At first, the shared apartment had been frosty, with them both avoiding the shared spaces when they knew the other was in there. Aelin had moved in with him because she had known him through mutual friends from college, who had verified that he wasn’t a serial killer, and he had a spare room that she needed. 

Now, Rowan Whitethorn is quite possibly her favourite person on earth. 

“You know Aedion just got engaged.” Aelin presses her other hand to his chest, working the puppy-dog eyes to help her case. 

Rowan nods with his eyebrows raised, this isn’t news to him. The announcement card has been pinned to their fridge for a few weeks. “Yeah, so?”

“So, my parents are going to be on me all week about when I’m going to settle down, and in my opinion; it’s Christmas. I’m already bummed enough about being single, I don’t need them constantly bringing it up, but anyway, that’s where you come in.”

For as long as she can remember her parents have hosted Christmas in their cabin in the Staghorns. So much so that she can’t think of the holiday period without thinking of the wooden-walled cabin, with it’s rustic fireplaces and grounds full of pine trees. 

She can almost smell the mulled wine her mum cooks over the stove, the way her fingers would smell of orange for hours after chopping the fruit for her mum to throw in. Some of her best memories are from the cabin, and Lorcan can tease her all he wants, calling her a spoiled princess, but it’s not like she doesn’t know how lucky she is. 

It’s also not like he’s never made use of her generosity when it comes to his anniversaries with Elide. 

Rowan winces at her words and her natural response is to grin up at him where he cringes away, already knowing where she’s going. He can almost read her mind at this point. 

“Rowan Whitethorn, fake-boyfriend-extraordinaire.”

“Aelin, you know I’d do anything for you,” He starts, and Aelin’s heart takes off at the words. 

It’s a well established fact, for everyone apart from him, that she’s in love with her best friend. She’s dealing with it. 

Sharing an apartment with him makes it difficult to ignore how attractive she finds him, in his suit dressed for work and in his pyjamas on lazy Sunday nights. He always looks incredible. 

In the years she’s known him he’s only gotten better looking. From the lanky teenager she met in her first year of college Rowan has matured from a boy to a man. A man Aelin is very attracted to. 

She’s always acknowledged his attractiveness, but since moving into his apartment she has found herself more and more drawn to him. His voice, his smile, the way he makes her a coffee in the morning and leaves sweet treats on the counter for her from the bakery near his office. 

But he’s never hinted he wants anything more from her than friends. Again, she’s dealing with it. 

Rowan is still speaking, and it drags her out of her daze. “But I seriously doubt your parents would believe that I was your boyfriend that you hadn’t told them about.”

Rowan is wrong. So wrong. Evalin and Rhoe have made an endless number of comments about the two of them over the years. Her parents adore Rowan, almost as much as Aelin herself, and so far Aelin has managed to quell their hopes. Taking Rowan as her fake-boyfriend to the cabin is most definitely a bad idea, only adding fuel to her parents’ fire, but she’s desperate. 

“Ro, please.” She’s not above actually begging. She leans further into the hands pressed against his chest and she knows as he bites his lip she’s won. 

“Fine,” He sighs. “But I’m not driving.”

“We can do half each?” She offers and he only rolls his eyes again, but he’s smiling and she leans up to press a peck to his cheek. 

“Thank you,” She says. “I love you, seriously.”

She doesn’t think she’s imagining the blush on his cheeks as he grumbles and uses the back of his hand to wipe her kiss off. 

-- 

“Rowan, take the bed.”

“Aelin, I’m not kicking you out of your own bed in your own house.”

She sighs. They’re at a stalemate. 

They’re standing on opposite sides of the bed, both dressed for bed, and she’s ignoring how good he looks. He’s wearing a pair of soft-looking green flannel pyjama pants and a grey t-shirt. Simple, but it’s really working for him.

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine on the floor. It’s carpet.”

Rowan looks anguished. “No. I don’t see why I can’t take the spare room like I do every time I come here.”

“My parents aren’t stupid. Every time you’ve come here before we’ve just been friends. We need them to believe this.”

She gestures between the two of them. Her parents had greeted them upon their arrival at the cabin. Aelin had managed to persuade Rowan to drive the whole way, she knew she would, and her parents had been waiting on the doorstep when Rowan pulled the car up outside the cabin. 

They had been wearing matching expressions of glee, and Aelin saw Rowan visibly steel himself before stepping out of the car. 

The introduction hadn’t been a big deal, her parents have met Rowan a number of times before, but never as Aelin’s boyfriend. Aelin thinks it went pretty well and that her parents likely don’t doubt their story. She’s again ignoring why that could be. 

Rowan crosses his arms across his broad chest and Aelin forces herself to concentrate.

“They could just think I’m being polite,” He tries to argue and Aelin shoots him an unimpressed look. 

“Here’s a radical idea,” She says. “Why don’t we just share. The bed is easily big enough for the two of us, we’ve shared a bed before.”

Rowan scoffs. “Yeah, when we were both blackout drunk. Do you even remember that night?”

Yes. In great detail. “No, but it will be fine.”

Rowan releases his arms from their place across his chest and Aelin knows she’s won. “Okay.”

Aelin fights her smile. 

“I can still take the floor.” 

Aelin sighs and pulls her side of the duvet back, “Just get in the bed.”

-- 

It is not fine. 

Aelin thinks it’s probably been about half an hour since she got into the bed and she is still staring at the ceiling, wide awake. Rowan’s breathing has been quiet and even for a while, he’s probably fast asleep. 

He’s so close, she can feel his warmth under the covers, but they aren’t touching. It would be so easy to reach her hand across the mattress and trail her fingertips up his arm until her hand was at his shoulder. It would be so easy to roll onto her side, throw her leg over his and rest her head on his chest. 

It would be so easy to kiss him. 

She sighs, frustrated again and feels the mattress shift at her side. 

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Rowan’s on his side now, facing her in the bed, but his eyes are still shut. 

Aelin rolls herself onto her side to face him, she allows herself to catalogue his whole face in the small beam of moonlight slipping in through the curtain. The silver of his eyebrows to the pink of his lips. Even in the darkness she can see the long sweep of his eyelashes and the slight dusting of stubble across his jaw. 

She’s so fucking in love with him.

“Why aren’t you asleep?” She retorts. 

“I can hear you thinking from here.”

Aelin laughs and Rowan’s eyes finally flash open, still so brightly green even in the dark. He grins back at her and she loses herself in the smile a little bit. 

“I’m not thinking about anything,” She says automatically and Rowan just nestles himself deeper into the pillow and waits. She melts at the sight. The vision of him tucked up in bed opposite her looking so relaxed is almost too much. “Okay, maybe I’m just thinking about how to sell this.”

“This?”

“Me and you, you know, deeply in love.”

Rowan huffs a laugh, deliciously deep and sleepy. “I don’t think we’ll have to do that much, what’s the difference between us and a couple anyway?”

Aelin thinks her heart stops beating. She clears her throat to restart it. “What do you mean?”

She hears the rustle of the duvet as he shrugs. “How does any couple differ from friends? Apart from people who are big on PDA, it shouldn’t be very different.”

“I don’t think you have to be big on PDA to act like a couple. Most couples, you know, hug, kiss, do couple-y stuff that’s different from us.”

“Right.” Rowan’s voice is soft in the darkness, and she wishes she could see more of his expression. 

“You probably will have to kiss me at some point this week.” 

Aelin didn’t mean to say that, definitely not, but it’s true. Her parents would think it was at least slightly unusual if Aelin never shared even a peck with her supposed boyfriend over Christmas. 

She hopes it’s dark enough that Rowan can’t see the fire in her cheeks. 

“Oh.”

His response really doesn’t give her a lot to go off. 

“You don’t have to,” She starts. “We could probably get away with it, I’d just tell them-”

“Aelin.” 

Aelin stops speaking. There’s something in his voice that halts her breath in her throat. 

“We should have practiced this,” He says. “We should have discussed this.”

Aelin frowns, somewhat defensive. “I thought you would have known, I mean, you’re coming here to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

Rowan just breathes out a breath she thinks could be a laugh. “I know, I did know that. Now I’m just shitting myself at the thought of kissing you in front of your dad.”

Aelin laughs now, too loudly for the quiet of the night. 

“You can kiss me now if you want to get it out of the way, that way when you have to do it in front of my dad it will be no big deal.”

She’s joking. Or at least she hopes he thinks she is. 

Rowan is silent for a beat too long. 

“Really?” He asks.

Aelin tries to sound nonchalant. “Yeah, you’ll have to get ready to kiss me at some point. Unless I’m too hideous to even consider.”

“Aelin,” Rowan sounds pained. “You’re not hideous.”

“I know, I was joking.” She smiles hoping he can at least see that. “About that anyway.”

“Right. You don’t mind if I kiss you now? For practice.”

“Not at all. Kiss away, Buzzard.” 

If she makes enough jokes she can pretend her heart isn’t pounding in her chest as Rowan shifts closer. 

“Okay,” He says and Aelin’s entire body sets alight. 

He reaches out a hand to cup her cheek and Aelin wants to lean into his touch forever. She needs to remember every moment of this.

She wriggles closer to him, very much aware of the fact that they’re lying in bed together and he’s about to kiss her. 

“You’re absolutely sure about this?” He’s so close to her now that his breath washes across her face as he speaks. 

She wants him to pause, to hold on to let her catalogue every single moment of this but she nods, unable to find the words past the catch in her throat. 

“Okay,” She catches him whisper under his breath, mostly to himself, as she allows her eyes to flutter shut. 

Aelin holds herself almost painfully still as he presses his lips to hers in a feather-light touch. His lips are warm and soft against her own. 

He pulls back far too soon, only a millisecond later, but he doesn’t remove his hand from her cheek as she opens her eyes. 

She can’t find a single word to say, she never wants to leave this moment. Here in this dark room in the silence she wants to kiss him forever. 

Rowan is watching her silently, his eyes flicking up and down her face, from her eyes to her lips and back again. 

“Hi,” She whispers and he smiles. 

“Hi.”

His fingers flex on her cheek and she allows herself to bring a palm up to his shoulder. His eyes flutter shut for a moment. 

“Aelin,” He says, his voice hoarse. 

His eyes snap open, watching her, and he reads something on her face that has him drawing her face back to his. 

This kiss is different from the first. 

The first was tentative and unsure. Testing the waters. 

This kiss is tender and deep. Rowan takes his time with her, starting with a gentle press of his lips against her own before pressing harder against her. His hand shifts down from her face as he kisses her to wrap around her waist and tug her tighter to him. 

Aelin allows the hand on his shoulder to slip up and to slide through the silver strands of his hair. 

Rowan gasps at the touch and she slips her tongue into his mouth. 

He tastes of mint and Aelin wants more. She presses further into him, her breaths coming fast in gasps every time their lips part and return to each other. Rowan rolls onto his back and the arm around her waist pulls her with him. 

She’s half on top of him now, leaning up on an elbow with a leg thrown over his as she kisses him. His free hand comes up to twist through her hair and hold her face to his as he licks into her mouth. The sensation has her toes curling and she presses her hips into his side slightly. 

He lets out a groan and the sound shocks her back to reality. 

Aelin pulls back and takes a second to process the way they’re wrapped up in each other. She can’t help the laugh that escapes her as she presses her face into Rowan’s chest hiding her blush. His chest shakes against her and he’s laughing too as he wraps both of his arms around her in a hug. She feels him press a kiss to the top of her head and she allows herself to rest deeper into his chest. 

“Let’s get some sleep,” He says into her hair. 

-- 

Somehow she manages to drift off, with her hand stretched across the bed towards him. His fingers in the same place brushing against hers. 

Aelin wakes up before him in the morning and untangles herself before he has a chance to wake up and realise the position they’re in again. 

-- 

Aedion and Lysandra arrive in time for dinner and Aelin spends ten minutes in the kitchen with her friend screaming about the ring. She hasn’t seen them since they announced the engagement and she’s happy for the two of them, she really is, and she couldn’t be more excited about the wedding. 

Lysandra however, is far more interested in the story of Aelin and Rowan. 

“How long has this been going on?” Her friend hisses through a whisper. 

“Not long, it started about October.” 

They had arranged their story before they had left their apartment. They could keep the bulk of it pretty generalised, spinning a story about how they had both realised their feelings for each other and things had just progressed from friendship, but they had sorted out dates so not to trip up. 

Aelin shrugs when Lysandra grins, her eyes full of unadulterated glee. 

“And you kept this a secret from me because?” Lysandra demands. 

“I don’t know, it’s new. Don’t make a big deal.” 

“Don’t make a big deal?” Lysandra scoffs. “This is you and Rowan. I have been waiting for this for years.”

“No you haven’t.” Aelin is definitely blushing. 

“I have,” Lysandra nods dramatically. “Aedion too. We’ve discussed it.”

Aelin wants the ground to open up and swallow her. Aelin has been thinking about it for years, but she didn’t realise it had ever crossed anyone else’s mind. She doesn’t dare let herself consider the possibility that it has crossed Rowan’s mind.

“Stop,” is all she manages to say before they’re joined in the kitchen by Aedion and Rowan. Aedion sidles up around Lysandra and presses a kiss to her cheek as he wraps his arms around her waist. Aelin smiles at the display and feels Rowan rest his own hand at her hip. 

His hand is so warm and she leans back into his chest as Aedion and Lysandra smile at them. Rowan’s fingers flex on her hip and she looks up to see him smiling down at her. 

They haven’t discussed their kiss from last night, nor have they kissed again, but it feels good to have him here like this. It feels like it could be real. 

Aelin shakes the thought out of her head as her parents join them in the kitchen. 

Aelin’s mum has her hands pressed over her mouth at the sight of the two pairs. 

“Ah,” She sighs looking as if she could be about to cry. Aelin watches her dad lift a hand to her shoulder as he smiles at Aelin. 

“Look at all of you,” Aelin’s mum says. “Let me get a picture to remember.”

Evalin pulls out her phone and Aelin steps across to settle next to Lysandra and Aedion, still wrapped up in each other. She feels, rather than sees, Rowan follow. 

Evalin lifts the phone, but pauses. “Rowan, get closer to Aelin.” She waves her hand in the air, gesturing for him to step further into the frame. He does, but still pauses at her side. 

“Rowan, son,” Her dad begins with a grin. “It’s alright, you don’t have to be so proper.”

Aelin looks up to him in time to see him cover his wince with a brittle smile. When his eyes flicker down to her it softens and he slides his arm around her waist. It feels too good pressed into him like this, like he could hold her together, like he could hold her forever. 

She lifts her hand to rest it over his own at her side.

The warmth of his hand on her waist has her blood pumping faster, it’s like she’s a teen again. She’s never been so easily flustered by anyone since she was younger. No one has ever made her heart beat like Rowan does, no one has ever electrified her skin at their touch like he does. 

Aelin smiles back up at him, a little lost in his gaze. 

“Beautiful,” Aelin’s mum cries and the photo is taken. 

Aelin shakes herself and ignores her dad’s knowing look. Rowan’s hand is gone from her waist already and she misses it already. 

Inviting him here like this was a mistake. 

-- 

Later she spies her mum’s phone on the side and sneaks onto it to send the photo to herself. Aedion and Lysandra are grinning sweetly at the camera, but the sight of herself and Rowan takes her breath away. 

She’s wrapped up in his arms as he looks down at her. The smiles they wear as she looks up at him are a little dreamy, both too lost in each other to realise the photo is being taken. She’d believe it was real. 

She wishes it was. 

-- 

They don’t talk about the kiss. And beyond brief kisses to her cheek when presents are exchanged, they don’t kiss again. 

Aelin is a little disappointed, and a little silly. Maybe it wasn’t necessary to practice, and she cringes at the memory that she was the one to bring it up to Rowan. He hasn’t acted any different with her though after the kiss, he still smiles softly at her when she enters the room and they’ve managed to sleep next to each other in the bed for the rest of the week without problem. 

Unless you count waking up tangled around each other a problem. Aelin does. 

It’s getting harder and harder to ignore what she feels for Rowan with every morning she wakes up with his arms around her. He’s always quick to roll away from her when he wakes up and realises, she’s trying not to let it bother her. 

She doesn’t know how she’s going to go back to sleeping in separate rooms in their apartment. How she’s going to bear saying goodnight to him and closing her door every night.

Their bags are packed by the door, ready to leave and Rowan is defrosting the car, getting it ready to go, when her mum corners her. 

“It has been wonderful to see you, Fireheart.” 

“Thanks, mum,” Aelin allows herself to be wrapped up in a hug and she squeezes her mum tightly. “It’s always nice to see you and dad.”

“We’ve loved having you here. And Rowan too.” Her mum looks like she could cry again and Aelin buries her wince. It’s going to break her mum’s heart when she has to deliver the news of her and Rowan’s supposed break up in a few weeks. “I’m so happy the two of you finally figured it out.”

“I- um…” Aelin doesn’t have the words to respond to that. “Yeah, me too.”

If only. 

Rowan joins them on the porch now and kisses her mum’s cheek as he bids her his goodbye. He shakes her dad’s hand and the image tears through Aelin’s chest. 

She feels like she’s about to cry, at the image of Rowan here like this with her parents, at the idea that they think it’s all real, at the idea of returning to a life where it isn’t. 

Her dad presses a kiss to her cheek. “Cheer up, Fireheart. We’ll see you both soon I’m sure.”

She nods as she wraps her arms around him. She’s not sure how they’re going to play the break up now, she’s made such a mistake bringing Rowan here. How they’re going to play exes everytime she sees her parents now is too much of a mess for her to deal with. 

“You ready to go?” Rowan asks her, his voice soft and a concerned look in his eye.

Aelin nods, unable to find words, and waves her goodbye to Aedion and Lysandra. 

Rowan is driving again, and it means she can look back to the cabin for as long as she can waving to her family. It also means she can spend a while looking away from Rowan, trying to hold in the tears that threaten to fall. 

-- 

They don’t talk for most of the car ride. Rowan shoots her periodic glances, concern written clearly across his face, but he doesn’t speak other than to ask if she needs to stop for a coffee or a bathroom break. 

Each time she only shakes her head. She just wants to tuck herself up in bed at their home and wallow. 

-- 

Back at their apartment she runs up the stairs before him, calling something about putting the coffee maker on as he grabs the bags. She knows he’s starting to get anxious with her silence, but she still doesn’t have the words. 

She’s fiddling with mugs in their kitchen when he finally corners her, unwilling to let her low mood go unmentioned. Another thing she loves about him. 

“Aelin, what’s wrong?” He asks her, his voice so gentle that it only tugs her heart more. 

“Nothing, I’ll just miss being at the cabin.”

It’s a weak lie, pathetic really, and Rowan sees right through it. He steps around the island to rest in front of her. He takes a deep breath before speaking, a tell-tale sign he’s about to challenge whatever she’s said. 

“You don’t normally feel like this though, what’s different this time?”

Aelin knows he sees the tears in her eyes, and his expression is a mixture of panic and concern. She lets out a wet laugh. 

“What’s different?” She asks. “You don’t feel different now, after last week, pretending to be more than friends? You don’t feel different now that we’re back here?”

Rowan glances away from her and she misses the face he pulls at the words. It isn’t long before he looks back to her and steps even closer. He bites his lip, she knows it means he’s nervous. 

“No, Aelin.” She shuts her eyes. This is going to hurt. “I don’t feel different. I’m still just as in love with you now as I was before.”

Aelin’s mouth drops open as her stomach drops to the floor. 

“You’re in love with me?” She says dumbly. 

“Gods, Aelin. I thought that was obvious.” He’s definitely nervous now, and Aelin’s brain rushes to reassure him. 

She laughs, this is absurd. “You’re in love with me?”

Rowan takes a step back, his open expression shuttering closed. “Yes. I don’t know what else you want me to say.” 

“Rowan,” She breathes and her hand shoots out to stop him moving any further away from her. “Rowan, I love you.”

“What?” 

Aelin laughs, a little hysterical now. “We are such idiots.”

She pulls on his hand, pulling him closer to her and sliding her hand up his chest. There’s a hopeful look in his eyes that wasn’t there before as he smiles down at her. 

She rests her palm against his cheek as he says, “Say it again.”

She smiles, closing her eyes for a second. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Rowan’s smile has never looked as bright as it does now. She wants to kiss him. He seems to be on the same wavelength and cradles her face between his hands. 

“You love me,” He says and leans down to press his lips to hers. 

“I do,” She manages before she melts into the kiss.

-- 

They spend hours in the kitchen, in the living room, in her bedroom professing their love for each other. Aelin thinks this is better than any other present she received this year. 

She can’t wait to be back at the cabin with Rowan next year.