#They didn't feel comfortable speaking up about in leftist spaces)

[bijoumikhawal]

"leftists don't fall for/into right wing hate campaigns for other groups as much as they do for antisemitism" is a really funny way of broadcasting which groups you pay attention to. Anyway we all do remember V*ush and his sycophants constantly claiming "land back is a call for ethnostates" and baiting WOC to intentionally misrepresent their politics on race up to and including claiming they want white genocide, right.

Acting like somehow people on the left are often progressive about every other thing but are antisemites is absurd. It happens, but its not common. An antisemite is often also a racist, a xenophobe, religiously intolerant overall, etc. There are plenty of racist, xenophobic, shithead leftists. Anyone who's actually a leftist would know there's constant tumbling online with shithead leftists and they never have just one shithead opinion.

[cottoncandysecretlair]

It's wild how on one side of my dash I see people talking about the real issues of transmasc erasure, "you're taking our lesbians away" terf rhetoric, and the ways that trans men are expected to accept ostracisation within leftist spaces without ever advocating for themselves...

Meanwhile on the other side, I see lots of "The MRA's are back, anyone that speaks about transmasc issues are transmisogynists, if you didn't immediately decide transandrophobia is an invalid concept then you're a bigot" type hysteria and it all just pisses me off.

Like trans men will spend their entire life til now perceived as women, expected to be quiet, expected to obey and be a resource to others without taking up too much space or having needs themselves. And upon realizing they're trans, finding their community, and thinking maybe this is a place they can find some modicum of comfort, the community says "no."

We don't want your voice or your struggles, because it doesn't fall in line with the rhetoric. It's not a part of the theory.

SJ theory generalizes, that's the nature of it. It's used to describe society as a whole, and how systemic oppressions operate. Broad academic theory isn't meant to for you to apply it precisely the same way to the individual.

That's what being intersectional is supposed to be about! You're not supposed to say "well systemically men are oppressors, so this man I just met is actively looking to oppress me" when you meet a homeless black man in a wheel chair.

I'm just so tired of the dynamic where in leftist spaces we can't share our stories and pain because they have to align with our ideas of who's the oppressor or not.

To this day, I feel terrified to open up about the fact that an older woman sexually assaulted me as a teen, because I'm so afraid someone will say I'm just targeting lesbians, or that my story promotes predatory stereotypes and shouldn't be shared. I can't talk about shit like that because I know that outside my closest friends, others in leftists spaces don't want to hear about that.

This is all over the place but I'm just so frustrated. Seeing people that have been boiling over, keeping their mouth shut, playing nice even when it's unfair to them, daring to open their mouths to speak all the while trying to be careful, only to still get attacked and made into bigots.

It's like there's no amount of bowing and saying your troubles are meaningless and insisting other people have it worse that will let you be "allowed" to talk about what hurts you.

We're supposed to be past one-upmanship and oppression olympics, it's not about who's had it worse it's about what we can fucking do about it TOGETHER.

And that means being able to drop your academic theory and shit to engage with the people in your community as fucking human beings. That means being able to seriously consider the validity of criticism instead of knee-jerk rejecting it.

Also please stop accusing literally anyone talking about intra-community bullying of talking over people being killed or shit like that, you know damn well that people are capable of caring about multiple issues

[fluidborders]

The Journey, So Far

Ahhh tumblr. A digital keyboard. Part of me wishes it was as easy for me to handwrite a journal as it is for me to type one. But I grew up typing one. And I grew up on tumblr.

So back I go.

Speaking of back, it's been two months since I've been in Saigon... not even! And so much has happened.

I'm really enjoying apartment life. I love my little space, though I've had to switch because of mold/water damage recently. I love walking in my neighbourhood and I'm beyond pleased with my choice of location in Bình Thạnh. It's quiet and local enough yet close to everything. I'm getting really familiar with it and it feels cozy.

I've made friends. I have the sweet little queer Việt kiều squad. I'm grateful for Hannah, they're so affirming to my leftist Canadian side. I really like Thư. I'm hoping to get to know Hoai Mi (I don't know her accents!) better. And it feels nice to have a space where I can be open and honest, including about SW and relationship anarchy.

I'm also hanging out with Uyen (?) and Anton. They also affirm my politics but they're pretty serious! It gets intense. And Anton talks a lot. But it's nice to have folks to hang out with.

The dating is going well, all things considering! I mean, I've been seeing Lợi. Which has been an interesting exploration. Many firsts, and that's rich coming from me: first non-white, first person close to my age range, first less experienced (sexually), first slow build. But he's really sweet. And there's something simple and unpretentious about him that I really appreciate. And I'm trying to observe myself do things like play games and not be honest/communicate. And that' been a whole experiment.

Then I've been chatting with Fiona, and might meet up with K (?) this week.

The Vietnamese lessons are good! The school Lợi suggested to me is working out real well. I'm motivated by the 3x/week for 1 hour, it keeps me accountable and I can always go to a coffee shop and study in my free time. Sài gòn does not lack for coffee shops, that's for sure.

And family is a huge knot that I'm slowly unravelling. And I'm one of the many threads in the knot, just trying to find my place in it all. With time.

Giving myself this space to reflect. On my queerness, my body, my gender, on dating, on my sense of presence (or lack thereof), on my family, on what it means Việt kiều. All of and all of it together, intersecting and interwoven into what it is to be the person that I am, in this time.

So grateful for the person that I am in this time. That I can discern a little better.

I spent the day by myself. I slept in, after coming home from Arcan at 4am. Then I studied at Okkio (coffee shop), then bought so bao lì xì, exchanged money, tried to find playing cards, and tried to eat cơm hến (they didn't have it, but they did have a delicious bún óc). Then I walked around Bính Thanh for a bubble tea place to do some work but couldn't find anything so I took the long way to D's, just people watching and soaking in the vibes. I felt sooooo comfortable on motorbike today. It's been damn sweet, I feel like a rad, bad, bitch.

This has gotten long, but it will continue to be. After all, this is all for me.