#These two run rampant in my mind /pos

[beheamothscreamoth]

*looks over at Ais and Daniella* Yeah,, (,,^w^,,) /lh

ais and unnamed mc feel like bad boy x sheltered kid

[carry-on-my-wayward-gays]

Okay my hyperfixation have kicked in now, Mhhh... let's see this play out.

Trigger Warning : Death.

Tango is the first person to notice something was different, it's been weeks, or possibly an month or two or so since he have last visited his rancher partner, Sheriff Jimmy, he was ecstatic after finishing renovating the caving of the Goblinland, with Fwhip being commanding him tweaking this, redstone that and such. It's a good thing he decided to take a two weeks break from constant redstone.

As he arrived on the Tumble Town, the town seems deserted and poorly maintenance broken windows, rotting dark woods he saw as he glance around panic swirling within his mind and begun to frantically run towards deeper inside on what's formerly known town.

Calling out Jimmy's name louder than before. And in the distance he saw a figure and immediately recognize it. He knew this person, deep and tattoo within his very fabric of his soul. He was glad to see he was alright, almost sent him to frantic panic. But then his moment of relief is immediately shattered as he saw Jimmy being transparent is he floating?! No, that can't be he's not wearing an elytra and then he felt choked all of the sudden. Emotions running rampant within his mind. As standing before him Jimmy wearing his sheriff uniform with a bright smile within his eyes with no pain in sight. He waved at Tango and softly spoken ''Hello, um, welcome to Tumble Town.!''

(Aka after the isolation done by Fwhip and Joel to our poor o'l Sheriff, Jimmy have died due to “Broken-heart syndrome'' and his spirit return venture on what remains of Tumble Town. And it Tango only find it out)

Yeah sorry for such sudden twist of angst about Rancher duo I couldn't help myself about it.

I'm just gonna let this post sit I have nothing to add to this /pos

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Kiss From A Rose

The Proposal in the Bunker

Summary: Y/n has been hunting alongside the infamous Winchesters for years now, but when an unexpected case pops up in her hometown, she finds herself struggling not only with her feelings for the eldest brother but with the things from her past that she has been fighting to forget. 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus size Reader

Word Count: 1.6K+

Warnings: Language, negative body image discussion

Author’s Note: Welcome to my first fanfic series for Supernatural! Hope you all enjoy this little adventure xo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly!

The heavy metal door to the garage thudded shut behind the huntress as she made her way into the bunker. A slew of plastic bags from the supply run she had made dangled from her arms as she sifted through the mail she had also stopped to pick up from her PO box. Most of the items were junk mail, having followed her to Kansas when she forwarded her address, while there were a few postcards from her hunter friends and associates. 

Y/n skillfully set the groceries down on the island in the kitchen when a symbol on one of the envelopes caught her eye as it shimmered in the fluorescent lights of the bunker. Pulling it from the bunch, the red horseshoe surrounding a bucking mule that was etched into the paper sent knots to her stomach. Her hands shakily ripped open the thick envelope and pulled the heavy cardstock free, allowing her eyes to scan the words hidden inside. It was an invitation to the class of ‘99’s twenty-year reunion, the date indicated it was to take place on the coming weekend. 

It was as if the mere mention of her hometown had her skin crawling. The small, tight-knit farming town did not bring her any positive memories, especially high school. The huntress had struggled with her weight and appearance since she was in elementary school. The teasing was relentless and with only a couple hundred kids in her graduating class, she was an easy target for the popular kids. The scars their torment had left affect her every day still twenty years later. It’s not something she could wash clean or rub a magic cream into, they were ingrained into her very core. There was no way she would subject herself to even thinking about returning to that place so, as far as she was concerned, they could kiss her ass. 

Without a second thought, she tossed the invite into the garbage and began to put away the groceries. As she hadn’t picked up much besides the essentials, it didn’t take her long to finish. Y/n grabbed a beer from the fridge, popped the cap, and headed deeper into the fortress she now lived in. 

The Winchesters were visible in the library as soon as she entered the war room. Sam sat at one of the tables, his face in his laptop, clearly engrossed in whatever it was he was reading. Dean was perched across from his younger brother, his booted feet up on the hardwood surface and a beer in his right hand. 

“Hey.” A soft smile crossed his freckled face when he saw her climbing the stairs towards them. “Did you get the pie?”

The woman couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the green-eyed hunter as she took the seat next to him and took a drink of the cold IPA in her hand. “Yes, Dean, I got the pie.” 

He tossed her a wink in response, the casual action erupting a flurry of butterflies in her stomach. She hated how easily the older Winchester seemed to affect her, whether it was a casual glance here or a flirty nickname there, she always found herself like putty in his hands. It was embarrassing if she was being honest with herself, and obvious. Luckily, though, it seemed he didn’t have a clue and she planned to keep it that way, saving her the eternal awkwardness of Dean having to let her down easy.

“So get this, I might have found us a case.” The sound of Sam’s voice broke her out of whatever weird self-deprecating reverie she had fallen into. Y/n took another sip of her beer in hopes of hiding the heat that was creeping up her neck. 

“Tell us,” Dean urged as he turned to his brother.

“This girl was found dead last night in her home. Husband came home from work and found her on the floor of their bedroom. Autopsy says she drowned, but there was no evidence of her being near any sort of water,” Sam read the highlights from the screen in from of him. 

“Hmm, sounds witchy.” Dean hummed as he took another drink. “Where is this?”

“Uh, some small town in Michigan,” Sam paused as he scanned the article to find the town name again. “Temperance, Michigan.”

The town name sent a chill through Y/n, causing her to gasp and choke on the drink she had so illy timed. Immediately she began coughing, her body trying to rid her trachea of the foreign object. 

“Shit,” Dean swung his feet off the table and moved closer to her side. One hand rested on her shoulder while the other began patting her back in a timid movement as he assessed if she truly needed assistance. “Are you okay?”

“Uh, Sam… what uh, what was her name?” The sputtering woman’s voice was rough coming out through her raw throat. The curiosity and fear pumped through her veins as she waited for his answer. 

“Sarah Simms.” 

Fuck. 

“Want to tell us what just happened to you?” Dean removed his hands from her after he was satisfied that she was breathing okay, his verdant iris’ roaming over her features in anticipation of an answer. Instead, she just held a finger and bolted back to the kitchen, leaving the brothers staring at each other in confusion. It took her only seconds to find the discarded item and return it to them in the library. Y/n tossed the crumpled material into Sam’s lap. With a furrowed brow, he picked it up and read over the calligraphy embedded on the card. His face softened as his brain connected the dots, just long enough for Dean’s impatience to overtake him and he snatched the invite from his little brother. 

“Wait, so you're telling me we have a case in your home town, that just so happens to be having a twenty-year reunion for your graduating class? This is perfect.” Dean looked up from the paper and straight at the antsy huntress. 

“That’s just the thing, I’m not going to that reunion.” Y/n crossed her arms over her chest, leaving no room for an argument from the Winchesters.

“What do you mean you aren’t going?” Dean furrowed his brows at her declaration. 

“Just that! I’m not going. High school wasn’t exactly rainbows and sunshine for me, Dean. And not much has changed since then. I do not want to relive all that.” It was so cut and dry to Dean. There was a case that needed to be looked into and it was their job to look into it. “Can’t you and Sam just pull up and flash your FBI badges and I’ll help with research this time.”

“Sure, we could, but if this is a witch thing, we could use a local who knows the people. It will be easy to find a motive and the witch if we know their history,” Sam frowned as he interjected into the conversation.

“What Sammy said.” 

“Did you not hear me? I wasn’t liked in high school. I don’t have friends there, no one is going to open up to me.” The woman was growing more exasperated at their pushing, now wishing she had never even shown them the invite in the first place. 

“Y/n, come on, you know that being a local will help them open up to you easier. You being an alumni is perfect.” Dean’s voice was softer now as he spoke to her. 

“Alumna,” Y/n and Sam corrected at the same time. 

“This is why you didn’t have friends.” Y/n glared back at Dean, who just grinned at her. He was lucky she was utterly defenseless against that smirk of his, otherwise, she just may have slapped him. 

“It does say here that she was in the school’s PTO and head of the reunion party planning,” Sam added as he returned to reading her obituary. 

“Of course she was.” A dramatic sigh left her mouth, causing the hairs around her face to flutter. “Fuck, okay, fine! So if I’m going to my reunion, who are you two supposed to be?” 

“Uh...” Dean’s brows furrowed as he tried to come up with a response. His silence had her hopes of getting out of this weekend of hell rising, only to be dashed as Sam spoke up.

“Well, it's a twenty-year reunion, right? I say one of us goes in as your husband. Everybody takes their spouses to reunions. The other will play the FBI angle to do recon.” The huntress’s smug facade dropped at his proposal, knowing there was no way she could intellectually counter that one. 

“I’m sorry, my what?” she sputtered out, her panicking brain fully incapable of uttering much else. Her mind was running rampant, unable to think of one person she went to school with that would even believe she had nabbed either of the Winchesters. Both of them looked like they had just stepped out of a J. Crew add and she was… well, she was her ordinary chubby self. 

“Yeah, sweetheart, what do you say? Will you marry me?” Y/N’s heart leaped into her throat at Dean’s words and that damn toothy grin he was flashing her. Of course, Dean would offer himself up for the job. That was just her luck. 

“Ugh, fine. But for the record, I hate this idea.” The fuming woman snatched back the invite and her beer before storming off in search of the solitude of her room to sort through the storm brewing inside her. 

Dean hollered after her retreating figure, “Ouch, that hurt!”

Part 2​

[maxthelesbian-hasmoved]

Sugar, You’re Sweet

inspired by this imagine (x) and @subjectx17

Ship: Lou x Debbie x Reader

Rating: T

It was always the moment they first saw you that made your heart stop. Lou was usually the first to notice you in a room, no matter how crowded or dark; it was as if she had a well-trained compass that activated instantly and had pinpoint accuracy. Debbie would follow Lou’s gaze, like a well trained companion movement. The pair of them turned heads of their own. They always looked like they were ready to take on anything and still look just as fantastic as they were before. Everything from Lou’s devil-may-care leather  aesthetic, to Debbie’s love of high heels and tight dresses screamed luxury . They were head-turners no matter where they went from day one, and they made sure you were too.

Lou always looked like she was undressing you lazily as she took in the beautiful girl wearing just what she had thought would look so well. She always had good judgement when it came to it these days, in her own style and yours. Though you were really happy with anything glittery,  Lou knew just how to make you sparkle.

Debbie always looked intensely adoring, like  you were the sun, and she had been in the dark for so long. Her face might only slightly shift, but her eyes sparkled. Debbie was usually more reserved than you and Lou. She was constantly unshakable, always looking as if she was ten steps ahead of everyone else. More often than not, she was.

“Hey, baby girl,” Lou beamed smugly as she and her brunette partner approached you. “ You look absolutely amazing.”

“Thanks, Lou,” you smiled back, lifting yourself up to place a kiss on Lou’s cheek, soft and steady. Lou’s arm went around your waist instinctively, as well as Debbie’s next to her, “Did you guys like the set?”

“Absolutely! You really are stunning, Kitten,” Debbie agreed, reaching over with her arm and brushing your cheek. You beamed back at the affection.

“You’ll look even more stunning on the Loft Floor when we get home tonight,“ Lou purred in that deep, rough voice that made chills run down your spine.

“Agreed, let’s just hope we can make it through the Night Rush,” Debbie nodded, leaving you blushing pink and giggling happily as Lou’s lips nipped at her ear and released her hold on you.

Between the two women, you were sure you were spoiled absolutely rotten, though this relationship had never been just for the money. Lou and Debbie were everything you could have wanted. The three of you worked together like a precision instrument, complimenting each other's strengths and weaknesses to form an unshakable power trio.

Lou and Debbie were exciting, and sexy, and made your heart skip a beat when you got to wake up in the morning nestled between the two gorgeous women who you loved, and who loved you back. Sometimes joined by the little puffball of a dog Debbie had brought home one day with Constance in tow explaining that she was forced into adopting the thing, and his name was Fizzgig.

Your life had changed that day in the club. Of course you hadn’t expected it to, but who really ever expects two goddesses dropping out of the sky and sweeping you into a life better than you had ever dreamed of. In fact it had been just another unenchanting girls night out with some of your old call center buddies. You didn't’ really fit in with them, but your social circle had been miserably small after moving to New York soon after graduation.

The Stardust had been the third club of the night, as it was the only one open all night long. You had been ready to go home after the second bar. The heels had looked cute in the beginning of the night, but now you would probably be sporting blisters. Your co-workers however were enthusiastically hammered and not ready to go. Designated Driver Duty was the worst, at least when you were intoxicated you couldn't feel your toes.

The music in The Stardust wasn’t bad;  in fact it was some of the kind of older music you had sitting in your own sort of outdated playlist at home. You hadn’t seen a DJ, so the music must be the owners, or whoever was on shift.

You ate another pretzel at the bar as your friends took to the dance floor to make a fool of themselves. That’s when you looked towards the person behind the counter, and met the most beautiful  pair of storm blue eyes you had ever seen.

The second thing you noticed was the shaggy, almost bleached, blonde bangs obscuring the piercing eyes from view. Her cheekbones were rounded and angular, almost feline, only adding to air of angelic rebellion that she radiated. She was leaning in front on you against the counter, arms crossed and placed casually on the bar.

Her silver suit-coat sleeves were rolled up to expose her forearms, littered with several bracelets and a very expensive looking watch. She also wore several necklaces, and a tie loosely around her neck, tucked into a few-sizes-too-small black vest. Her lower half was hidden behind the bar, but from how she was bent to rest on the counter, she was anything but short.

“You look like you’re having fun,” She smirked, an accent on the edges of her words, the last fragment of an instinct. Her voice alone was enough to make your knees feel a bit weak, not to mention she looked like an elven queen became a lesbian zaddy with far too much faux leather on for the beautiful creases of laugh lines etched into her skin. But the woman wore it unlike anyone you had ever seen. Everything about her reeked of almost gross confidence.

There was rampant smugness in the way she pushed her tongue ever so slightly into her cheek as she beamed. The way her hair fell so perfectly along her shoulders, “The name’s Lou, in case you can’t ask. Which, by the looks of your face, might be the case.”

She couldn’t be just the Bartender, she looked far too at home for that. This mesmerizing woman had to be a manager, something that matched her commanding energy, and she knew it too. You hadn’t noticed your jaw had dropped until Lou coolly extended a hand and gently pushed it closed, a chuckle coming from her buttery throat, “You look good like that mind you, awestruck.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, and goosebumps erupted up your arms. You tried to summon any sort of intelligence for speech but only found a strange assortments of noise like whoever was writing the dialogue of your mind smashed their hands repeatedly into the keyboard, “alksjdfkldsa I- Y/n,” you blundered out.

‘Way to be a bottom, Y/n,’ you internally cursed, of course you would stuff your foot in your mouth in front of one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen.

Lou laughed then, “I knew the haircut was good, but I didn’t know I had that much power now. You alright there, sheila?”

“Lou, leave the poor girl alone, you don’t need to jump on every face we find pretty,” another voice came from behind you. You turned and you felt your jaw drop this time.

The other woman’s body was wrapped in a pale white, fluffy fur coat, a skin tight full black jumpsuit beneath, only broken by a gold, diamond studded belt around her middle. She was tanned as if she had spent a summer at the beach and it hadn’t quite faded, light freckles dotting the bridge of her nose and forehead, a sun-kissed queen.

She was on the more average side of tall,  her face more squared off than Lou’s. Her hair was deep chocolate brown and it feel past her shoulders in loose glamorous curls, only accented by a light sprinkle of burnt caramel highlights. She had genius written in her features.

A warm smile graced her full lips, softening her otherwise sharper features. Her eyes were deep and comforting like black coffee, almost the Ying to the blonde’s Yang. She carried herself regally, a born leader, but she still glowed with a gentle kindness.

A look was shared between the two before the brunette looked back at you, “I take it Y/n is what I call you, for now?”

You nodded, “Yeah, sorry, it’s been a long night,” At least you could form coherent sentences now, “If I have to hear ‘Shots Bitches’ shouted by Kelly from HR one more time I’m going to lose what is left of my sanity.”  You gestured towards the group of flapping limbs that was your companion quartet.

The brunette laughed and moved to sit next to you at the bar, The blonde pulling out two drinks and placing them in front of you, you couldn’t take your eyes away from her hand as it moved to push her hair to one side, “Babysitting detail, not always the most enjoyable way to spend an evening.” she nodded, “Call me Debbie,” She extended a hand to you, which you took.

“Debbie,” you tried the name out, liking how it made her smile just a bit brighter when you said it, “Are you two-” You tried to find the words, together? Tag teaming?

“Yes,” Lou replied before you could think another option.

You blinked for a moment, you felt like something in you had short circuited and clicked into place all at once. You found yourself laughing along with the three of them, the sounds blending happily.

You had all fit far too well from the get go, getting to know each other like it was an unnecessary step, and before you knew it, it was time to drag your drunk work buddies home. But you found yourself reluctant to leave.

Lou and Debbie had invited you back before you all but herded the small group out the club’s doors as the pair followed behind to lock up. You had exhaustively told them you would love to, but you had plans. Which you did at the time, but those plans had eventually been canceled. You came back to The Stardust the next night.

It was supposed to be a one night stand, that turned into breakfast, which turned into a day out together, which turned into you staying with them for a week. You hadn’t wanted to leave each other and soon, and they asked you to join their couple. You had accepted obviously, who wouldn’t. Lou got you a job working at her club as a singer for the night crowd, and together the three of you found a rhythm.

You loved the two of them more than you had ever thought possible, and they loved you just as much, and you wouldn’t swap that for anything in the world.

[roswelldetails]

Episode 101: Pilot - Details

Episode Summary

Roswell, New Mexico s01e01 ‘Pilot’ – RETURN TO ROSWELL — When Liz Ortecho (Jeanine Mason) reluctantly returns to her tourist-trap hometown of Roswell, New Mexico, she reconnects with Max Evans (Nathan Parsons), her teenage crush, who is now a Roswell police officer. But Liz soon discovers a shocking truth: Max is an alien who has kept his unearthly abilities hidden his entire life, along with those of his otherworldly sister, Isobel (Lily Cowles), and their friend Michael (Michael Vlamis).Elsewhere, Master Sergeant Jesse Manes (Trevor St. John) spearheads a long-standing government conspiracy — unbeknownst to his son, Alex Manes (Tyler Blackburn), who has recently returned from service overseas with emotional and physical injuries. The politics of fear and hatred that run rampant in Roswell threaten to expose Max and his family and could endanger his deepening romance with Liz…as well as their lives. Heather Hemmens, Michael Trevino and Karan Oberoi also star. Julie Plec directed the episode written by Carina Adly MacKenzie.

Details - this is not an exhaustive list of every single detail, but just a few that might be important now or later. 

Rosa’s memorial in the diner says, 

“In loving memory of Rosa Ortecho

January 17, 1989 - June 1, 2008

(This conflicts with her headstone in episode 2 which says February 9, 1989 - June 7, 2008, but either way, Rosa was 19 when she died.)

Liz’s dad says it’s the 10th anniversary of Rosa’s death, and it’s also Liz’s 10 year high school reunion, so Rosa died the same year Liz was graduating high school.

In the diner, Max tells Liz that he joined the force because he “likes protecting people” - it helps him sleep at night.

Entering the jail to find Michael in the drunk tank, Max says, “Another drunken fight at the Wild Pony?” - Michael seems to have made a habit of drunken fights at the local bar.

During their argument at the jail, Max tells Michael “You’ve never done anything for anybody” and Max answers, “Everything I’ve ever done has been to protect Isobel and you.” (To which Michael responds, “Everything you’ve ever done has been to protect yourself.”

During the same argument, Isobel says, “I have been worried my entire life that someone would find out about us.” - Meaning no one has yet, that she’s aware. (So Rosa did not find out about them.)

At the ranch Michael greets Alex “Finally back from Bagdad” meaning that despite the fact that the town threw him a parade when he got back, this is the first time he and Alex are speaking.

In his trailer, Michael has some debris from the crash and a LOT of research and calculations on the walls. He’s been trying to figure out stuff for quite a while.

In a flashback of Rosa and Liz:

Rosa: “Really, Max Evans - he’s so vanilla. It’s like I’ve taught you nothing. All our lives that kid’s made moon eyes at you, and now, two weeks before graduation you look back at him?”

Liz: “I guess I’ve been thinking about the things I’ll miss, and maybe I don’t want to miss Max Evans.”

Rosa: “He’s already in the rearview mirror, trust me.”

Liz clearly had some feelings for Max before Rosa’s death. And for whatever reason, Rosa wasn’t in favor of the pairing. 

Crosses on the side of the road:

Kate Long (Wyatt Long’s sister)

Jasmine Frederick

Rosa Ortecho

Rosa’s cross is not written in the same lettering as the others - it was not done by the same person who put up the other two.

Liz tells Max that her mother IS mentally ill - not was, so we can assume she’s still alive somewhere, though she left the family at some point. She also mentions Rosa being mentally ill, seeing hallucinations, and hearing voices. Growing up, she was afraid that she’d end up like them.

Maria calls Liz her “high school BFF” in the bar scene. (Though we find out later that she was close to Rosa as well.)

When Max talks with Isobel at his house, he tells her that he knows the mark could show up on Liz after her healing. - Meaning he has healed before.

Isobel says there are “too many secrets - things she can’t ever know” when talking to Max about Liz. This is apart from the fact that they’re aliens.

The handprint on Liz is the same weird color-changing shade as the ship fragments in Michael’s trailer.

In the cave, Max tells Liz about their fear of capture and experimentation and says that “nothing has ever mattered to me more than protecting Michael and Isobel from that until I saw you bleeding and I just-”

“Project Shepherd” is the name of Master Sgt.’s alien-investigating bunker club.

When Michael and Isobel are talking at the reunion, Michael suggests that Isobel should be ready to mind whammy Liz if she betrays them.

Isobel: “I don’t do that anymore. I don’t mess with people’s minds.”

Michael: “If I could do it, I would, but I can’t, so start preparing yourself.”

(So Isobel had definitely messed with - maybe multiple? - people’s minds before, and Michael knows for sure that he doesn’t have that power.)

Michael: “Because if Liz Ortecho turns on any of us, you will get insider her head and erase it. Maker her leave Roswell... leave Max. Just like you did ten years ago.”

(Isobel did something to Liz’s mind a decade ago to make her leave - and/or perhaps to make her stay away.

Inside Master Sgt.’s bunker there are at least 6 yellow pieces of tape on the wall map.

One says “Crash Site alpha pos”

One says “Incident 45E (or 4SE?) 8.17.81 pos delta”

It appears that the military have been tracking more than one incident in the years since the original crash.

Sgt. Manes says that the ship was carrying an army of monsters and “most of them died that night, but at least one survived.”

He wasn’t talking about Isobel, Max, or Michael, so there is, or was, at least one other alien out there.

At the reunion, Alex asks if Michael is cooking meth because his engineers detected phenyl-2-propanone around his trailer. Michael tells him it’s not P2P they’re detecting, but it’s something similar. P2P is a chemical that includes acetone, so it’s likely that whatever Michael has been doing has involved acetone and is chemically similar to P2P. (Or maybe he’s just sitting around synthesizing his own nail polish remover!)

In a flashback during the reunion, Liz is in the diner dancing with Kyle. Alex is at the counter. Rosa is at the counter playing guitar, and Maria is also there dancing. Max is on the outside looking in. - cut back to Max looking on as Liz dances at reunion. He spends a lot of time on the outside looking in.

Max says to Isobel at the reunion, “She can never know about what happened to Rosa.”

This sounds like it probably involves more than just “I drove off and left her standing around drunk in front of the diner.”  (What he tells Liz in episode 3.)

[iamsoneurotic]

Enter, Levi: The Final Chapter Part II

8 Months later is better than never I guess.

I had intended to write a second post about Levi’s birth (as I did with both Milo and Noli), but as it turns out, free time isn’t really a thing when you have 3 kids. Go figure. Anyway, where did I leave off… The boy was born.

The C-section left Rachael bedridden for the duration of our stay at the hospital, which is pretty typical. From what I’ve been told, it’s not so bad - the doctors load you up with pain meds and you’re out the door in a couple of days, ready to take on the world with a baby in one hand and a bottle full of pills in the other. Well, due to an allergy to Ibuprofen, Rach was denied the good drugs and had to settle for a less effective Tylenol substitute which may have been less effective than somebody flicking her in the ear to distract her from the pain in her healing wound. To make matters even worse, she was fighting a horrible cough and every hack of the lung made her feel like she was being gutted like a fish.

As sort of an icing on the crap cake, her IV slipped out of her vein at some point during the first night and caused her arm to swell and rash. Her stay was divine to say the least.

Speaking of crap cakes, guess who was on diaper duty by default! Well that’s nothing new, I’m usually on diaper duty just because my lovely wife secretly loathes me (we have a dog now, by the way. Guess who gets the honor of cleaning up his little backyard nuggets). This particular series of diaper changes, however, stands out more than the others because Levi pooped a mountain’s worth over the next few weeks. Not exaggerating. He went through every phase on the newborn poo color wheel in a matter of hours. Something was clearly afoot, I’ve been around this whole breastfeeding business for a while now and I know for a fact he was exporting more than he was taking in. Pretty sure milk doesn’t have corn in it either.

There’s a video of his first changing… I can’t even post it. It’s just that awful. I don’t even know why we would have filmed something like that in the first place.

One last poo item to discuss - there was one nurse who was a complete POS. Her shift consisted of coldly telling Rachael to suck it up and walk so they could discharge us and berating her about everything she did ranging from how she breastfed Levi to, I don’t know, the way she wore her hair that day. She was a real piece of work. Not sure if there’s a polite way to wish Ebola on somebody, but I’m all ears.

There was a bright side to Rachael being confined to her bed, it meant I got more time to hold Levi. Given the stress of his birth, I had no desire to ever put him down - thank goodness he only weighed a little over 6lbs, our lightest one yet!

I noticed while holding him that he bore a striking resemblance to Don Rickles.

Leading up to the birth, I had “joked” that I was looking forward to the time away from the kids while we stayed at the hospital. I was wrong, I missed my babies. Before we had left, Noli was really upset that we were leaving him - that image of him sitting on the steps broken hearted was burned into my brain the whole visit. Milo didn’t seem to care much, he gets away with more when daddy’s not home (Noli was yet to figure this out). So after 2 days of not showering, Rachael approved of my release so I could go home, see the boys, scrub the thin layer of Italian grease off of my flesh, and let her mom see the baby for a while.

It was a nice little visit. The boys and I wrestled, built Legos, and I showed them pictures of the baby. Noli was needier than usual and didn’t like that I had to leave again to go back to the hospital, luckily my mom stopped by to take the boys to her place so I could catch a break for a few… For the record, however, I didn’t take a break for fear that Rachael would sense my relaxation and unleash the hordes of hell upon me.

Advice for any new dads out there: NEVER enjoy yourself while your wife is in pain or holding a child. Don’t close your eyes, don’t smile, don’t sit comfortably in a chair, and if you absolutely HAVE to eat, make sure the food gives you indigestion… But not diarrhea, because woman have figured out that bathrooms are a man’s place of peace. There can be no peace.

…

I’m literally not kidding.

Long story short - she thought I was gone too long and as penance, I bought her Pei Wei and she reluctantly showed mercy.

I screwed a number of things up with this birth. First was posting Levi’s picture to Facebook before Rachael had even seen him, second was having the audacity to take a shower at our house, and the third thing happened after being discharged from the hospital. When we got home, I rushed the baby into the house so he wouldn’t get cold. Inside the house my parents were waiting with cameras to film the boys’ reaction to the new addition. Well, in my haste, I failed to wait for Rachael (who was hobbling up the sidewalk in excruciating c-section pain) - depriving her of the opportunity to see the boys’ reaction live. I’m currently serving a life sentence in the doghouse for my foolish ways.

All screw-ups aside, the evening went well. Noli, who we were most nervous about adjusting to a newborn, held the baby in his lap (with heavy amounts of assistance). It was a giant relief. Milo loved the kid at first sight, 8 months later he’s still in love with the little guy… I’m a proud dad. My parents went home, Rach attempted sleep, and late that evening I wrote  “Enter, Levi: The Final Chapter Part I”. A masterpiece in biographical storytelling.

For the next few days Rachael was stuck sleeping on the couch until her incision healed more; getting out of bed was too painful. So we spent our evenings watching the Winter Olympics while Levi slept on our chests. In the mornings my mother-in-law would treat us to fresh grapefruit & oatmeal breakfasts and I would grab us Starbucks on the way back from dropping the boys off at school. It was a really nice couple of days… I even finally buckled down and got my Texas Driver’s License! Only took me 3 years to make the effort.

We nicknamed Levi “Popeye” because he would always wink his one eye and make scrunchy faces. In retrospect, I should have thought to tape a little pipe to his pacifier. Dangit! During this time, I discovered that the sound of a crying baby isn’t as horrific sounding as it had been in the past. Milo’s cries would send me into a panic, and Noli’s would just irritate me… I find Levi’s cries on the adorable end of the spectrum. It’s probably because this will be our last kid (assuming all goes according to plan). I’m taking in the infancy more, trying to make it last and enjoy every moment. Sure, I still get frustrated - that’s what babies do to you, but I’m enjoying the ride more… I know I’ll miss it. I still wish I could pull baby Milo out of the photos on my phone and hold him.

If I’m not writing a ton about Levi in this post, it’s because the kid was just so darn chill as a newborn. He didn’t give me much more material than “Awww, how cute”... And he was definitely cute (still is - all my babies are).

While both boys were great with Levi, Noli had gotten increasingly needy. I’m not going to lie, it was downright infuriating sometimes to deal with it. I took him out one day to give him some one on one time, the plan was to buy him a ‘gift from Levi’. I told him Levi gave me money to buy him a toy (kids are so gullible!)... I should have specified how much money Levi actually gave me because $60 later we had a brand new Lego Spiderman play set which took me an hour to build and only 10 seconds for Noli to destroy. 10 glorious seconds of him leaving me alone.

The nightmare was only beginning.

Rachael’s mom had stuck around for a few weeks to help out around the house while we got acclimated to all the changes. The hope was that anything that could have gone wrong would have gone wrong while she was here and we’d have the extra hands… But Murphy’s Law is real, kids. Thanks to the joys of school, Noli came down with the flu a day or two before my mother-in-law was leaving. Just the thing you want around a newborn! And there would be no extra hands. Before we even got home from the hospital, Rach began packing her bags to stay with my folks until our house was no longer contaminated with disgusting little boy germs (Milo was beginning to run a fever as well).

Rachael and Levi staying with my parents didn’t ease my worries, however. The boys are constantly sticking their grubby little fingers all over my face (why their fingers are always moist I’ll never understand). The fingers occasionally go in my mouth because kids are weird and have no boundaries. That mouth is incapable of not being on baby Levi’s face… Because those cheeks. All I could think was that I had given my newborn baby boy the flu and it was an awful feeling. I had shown no signs of having the flu, but it takes a few days before symptoms even start, so everything was up in the air… Just like the flu running rampant in my house. It was a waiting game and I hate waiting.

So it was me, the boys and my mother-in-law, and I only had her help for about two days before she had to go back home. Thank God for moms is all I have to say. She made sure we all took everything we needed, when we needed to take it, and I’m pretty sure she kept me flu-free, because (spoiler) I never caught it and luckily neither did Rach or Levi.

Those few days, however, were difficult for an entirely non-flu-related reason… Needy Noli. By this point he had already been driving me nuts with the constant need for attention, but the flu just made it worse. Today I was looking through the texts Rachael and I were sending each other and every other message was me going out of my mind while Noli stalked me around the house. It was like one of those dreams where you’re being chased by some unknown entity and it always finds you no matter where you hide. You’d think the flu would have destroyed his sense of smell, but somehow it was heightened. There was no escape.

All he wanted was to play legos… Legos which by now were CRAWLING with flu germs. Every click those blocks made when I connected them was like the empty click of a revolver in a deadly game of Russian Roulette. Sitting in that pool of Legos (we have a LOT of Legos) was like swimming in a pool of flu-juice. I swear some of them were wet.

Then my mother-in-law flew home… and it was just me and the flu-zombies.

Thank goodness for my Dad. He took one for the team and later that evening risked his good health to save me from the inevitable misery that awaited me with those kids. The man is fearless. My memory of that week is a little hazy, but I’m 80% sure he arrived via horse. When he got to the house, he told me to get out and enjoy myself for a few while he spent time with the little petri dishes. Even Noli let me leave the house! So I grabbed my iPad and booked it to Starbucks where I spent the next 2 hours sipping Lattes, drawing, and watching videos of Levi that Rach would send me.

The week was no doubt hard - dodging sneezes, dealing with neediness and the usual parenting frustrations… But the hardest part was being away from Levi. I spent 9 months waiting for the little stinker and barely got to know him before he left me for a week. There was a constant stream of videos and photos coming from Rach, but it only made it harder. There was one evening when Rach stopped by with some food and I snuck out to see her. She had Levi in the van and I had to just stare at him from the window (as I was still unsure if I was sick or not). It was torture.

Rach on the other hand was living the good life at Hotel De’Marianelli with my mom. Pampering, baby assistance, hot meals… and a Boxer who quickly became a therapy dog. When Rach arrived at the house that first night, she was a nervous wreck. She started crying when she came in the door and Roxy (the Boxer) ran up to her, put her head on Rachael’s chest and just stared at her. She’d lick the baby’s feet constantly and anytime Levi woke up from a nap crying, Roxy would book it into the room to check on him.

Dogs are the best. Not to speak ill of the dead, but our cat would have just pee’d on the crib.

Fast forwarding ahead, the boys started feeling better, I never got sick, and seeing as my dad’s work was finished, he went back home… I seem to remember him riding off on a chariot of fire. The details are hazy.

One last thing remained… The disinfecting of the Legos.

20% of them ended up down the drain. I hope they never return.

Finally my baby came home. I refused to let him go that night… Or the next night. If I could lactate, Rach would have never gotten him back.

I make good babies. ~ M.

[graykaren333]

Kris’ Defense (tldr :)

So lately I had been feeling increasingly indifferent toward Kris.  I mean don’t get me wrong, he’ll always be my main man, but he was pretty much hanging on by a thread as my ultimate bias because of nolstalgia and because I’m loyal af.  He just hasn’t been doing all that much stuff in the public eye that peaked my interest (i.e. he’s mostly been making appearances at Chinese public festivals) and props to him for being able to lead the life he wants to without having to constantly be in the public eye but that’s a rant for another day. He’s existing in the world somewhere and knowing that makes me happy, but I havent’ been investing much time or energy in him lately compared to other k-idols, to the point that I found myself questioning if he was still my ultimate bias.  BUT.  BUT THEN THIS HAPPENED.

I’ve been getting into podcasts lately and there’s this one that I’ve been listening to about k-pop.  It’s not about the two hosts just fangirling over their biases because that would be boring af to listen to.  It’s highly researched and informative and they basically examine all these nuanced and intricate aspects of the k-pop industry and just go into detail abut it and it’s so fascinating.  I was so looking forward to their ‘Contracts Disputes’ episode to see what all they’d say about Kris’ situation.  I was fully expecting them to be like, “So Kris reportedly had this physical health condition and shame on you SM for not taking care of your idols.  The end.  Next.” But no.

As someone who has done a shit-tone of research on topics that I am passionate about, the most sure-fire way to offend me is to basically say to me about one of those topics, “I’ve looked into this issue for all of five minutes  and because I took the time to look into it for five minutes I am obviously the expert on this topic and am going to school you on this” when it’s a topic that I have literally done five weeks of research on and the person proceeds to get most of the details wrong.  Yeah, so this was one of those times.  I sat there in numb shock listening to the hosts basically proceed to trash Kris.

They pretty much started by saying, “When Kris first issued his statement about trying to terminate his contract, he just threw out some random medical diagnosis of myocarditis as a reason he was terminating his contract but then in an interview in 2017 he cited the reason as being creative differences so his story changed over time and that’s shady.”  They basically accused him of lying in his initial statement.  However, their statement was a gross misrepresentation of the facts.  First of all, they make it seem like Kris randomly mentioned the medical diagnosis in passing without much forethought as though it was some random post on his social media account.  But this was an official statement released by Kris’ lawyers on behalf of Kris which means that Kris didn’t unilaterally decide on what to include in the statement but was receiving legal guidance on what to say.  And why would his lawyers advise him to lie about something personal like a medical diagnosis in such a public way???  Including a medical diagnosis in his statement (especially if it was a lie) was very risky because it polarized the issue and even caused the majority of k netizens to accuse him of trying to play the sympathy card.

Second, the ladies in the podcast act like his story changed over time.  This is also inaccurate.  In his original statement, Kris cited BOTH his health issues and artistic/creative differences as being reasons for his termination lawsuit. From then on out he nevet mentioned his myocarditis diagnosis again.  Why? BECAUSE MAYBE HE DIDN’T WANT TO GO ON PUBLIC RECORD TRASHING HIS FORMER COMPANY, AND BY EXTENSION ALL OF K-POP, YEARS AFTER THE FACT.  That actually kind of makes sense, doesn’t it? Maybe he was trying to take the high road and not drag SM’s name through the mud years after the fact but actually help SM save face a little, a courtesy that they never returned to him. In his statement, Kris stated that his side would give no further comment about the situation since it was still pending at the time, yet Kris has continued to take the high road years after the contract dispute has been settled.  When he is asked about the situation in an interview, he cites artistic differences but has never breathed a word about his myocarditis diagnosis. That doesn’t mean that his initial statement on his medical diagnosis was not true, but that he simply chose to not talk about that reason for his termination in future public conversations going forward.  What would you have wanted him to say anyway?  “Yeah I left SM because they literally wouldn’t let me fucking take care of my fucking health even after I literally got a fucking diagnosis that could have fucking killed me if not properly treated.”  Because from what I’ve seen that’s basically what happened.  So let’s dig into that a little bit, shall we? I’m not going off of Kris’ word alone.

I lived through this whole lawsuit/counter lawsuit/contract termination fiasco as a Kris bias so in real time as it was happening, I was digging into the far recesses of the internet to find out more details about the situation (some of which may very well no longer be available on the internet today) and it didn’t take long to scratch the surface to reveal the cesspool that was how SM was treating Kris.  Kris’ Chinese fans who saw him promoting in China every day were vocal even before the lawsuit about the many ways SM management employees were treating Kris increasingly vindictively, even compared to the other Chinese members, in the months leading up to the lawsuit (which fits with Kris’ timeline given in his statement concerning him trying to address the artistic differences with the company, and then the company responded this way because SM is a vindictive pos company).  And this is on top of SM already being notorious for treating their Chinese members badly (see Super Junior’s Hangeng’s statements about those dynamics after he left SM).  It’s not racism necessarily, it’s just that the proper labor unions haven’t been set up between the two countries for Chinese working in Korea (it’s a whole thing), so SM basically treats them however because they can.  Beyond that, getting into the specifics of his diagnosis, there were pictures of Kris at a heart specialist in China.  There were also pictures of several occasions where Kris was carrying heart medication.  There were rampant rumors among Kris’ Chinese fans of his bad physical health such as him throwing up in the bathroom before or after performances. But all of the worst of this was happening over in China, with k netizens neither knowing the full details nor caring to get acquainted with them.  After his lawsuit came out, there were videos posted and gifs posted showing Kris clutching at his chest after performances or running just offstage immediately after performances leaning over his knees and pounding his chest (I don’t know how much of that is still available on the internet today).  I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a special kind of hell if you ask me.  So yes, I believe he was being honest in his official statement.  

On a slightly less offensive note, the ladies on this podcast when on to say, “yeah when we watched EXO’s Showtime (a documentary-style TV show) we weren’t impressed with Kris.  Sometimes he would choose to have fun and interact with the members, but most of the time he just kind of acted like he was better than everyone else and deserved more than he was getting.”  Ok so now they are judging his personality which is also highly offensive.  In more recent Chinese interviews, Kris has gone on record saying that he’s reserved and can come across as being aloof when he first meets someone but when he feels comfortable around them he can get very talkative and engaged.  He’s basically saying he’s and introvert.  Seeing him through this introvert frame-of-reference makes all his interactions with the other EXO members and his pattern of behavior on EXO’s Showtime make sense.  In fact, what originally drew me to Kris was seeing his behavior on EXO’s Showtime and how his reactions to situations were exactly how I would have reacted if I had been in his shoes.  A long roadtrip to the sea? I’ll be in the back sleeping, thanks.  Already met my peopling quota for today several hours ago, thanks.  Or the fact that he would literally zone out all the time (and he was notorious for that in general).  To me, that showed that in that moment, his brain was overstimulated from constantly have to be in the spotlight and interact.  Those of us who are introverts can be easily be misunderstood as being stuck-up or snobby when the truth is we are simply tired out from being around people. If you can’t leave the situation, what other option do you have but to zone out?  

Also, his physical health dynamics could have played a part in how frequently he zoned out.  If you have never dealt with a chronic physical health concern you CANNOT understand the degree to which it can impact you mentally and emotionally.  The fear of the unknown.  Its ongoing nature.  Worrying about a flare-up.  Trying to decide how to best handle it when you are in the middle of a flare-up (is this actually a flare-up or am I just over-interpreting my body?  Should I ignore it or go through the hassle of going to the doctor this time?).  Some days it’s not on your mind at all, but other days it’s constantly in the back of your mind, pulling you away from being able to be fully present.

The final mistake I noticed from the podcast is how they portrayed Kris’ home life situation.  THEY EVEN GOT THAT FUCKING WRONG (which at this point should have hardly been surprising to me, honestly).  They said mostly as an anecdotal side comment to try to make sense of Kris’ pattern of behavior on EXO’s Showtime, “When Kris filed his lawsuit, his dad also ended up issuing a statement that was all like ‘my son deserves better than to be in EXO’ so I’m just wondering if Kris was listening to his dad a lot and that attitude impacted how he interacted with the other EXO members.”  As if Kris and his dad were pal-ing around on the weekends. Yeah, no.  Kris has gone on record numerous times throughout his career stating that he has only met his dad a handful of times in his entire life (which the podcast ladies would have known if they had done a simple google search). He was raised by his single mother, dirt poor.  Not an entitled bone in his body.  He simply expected to be treated like a human being, not a work horse.  (I don’t remember if his dad did issue a statement or not but regardless, his dad had zero influence over Kris’ interaction with the other EXO members or Kris leaving EXO).  But please, tell me more about how much you know about Kris. Final conclusion: He’s still my ultimate bias and this experience has reminded me of why he is!