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nobody-knose--archive · 4 years ago

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i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

#lemon demon #spirit phone #pretty sure this is my first bit of spirit phone content on my blog. hi greater lem dem fandom nice to see y'all. go listen to deporitaz #loolin liveblogs #i enjoyed this less for the content the commentary contained & more for the way i handled it. more pleasant than some times ive had #tis i #i havent listened to spirit phone in general in ages. i know why. so this was nice #to the world and back again

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buckysnumberonegirl · 4 years ago

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Flash forward- Across the Pond

Part 5

Read parts 1-4 here 😁

Word count- 1.5k give or take

Warnings: plot development, fluff, angst

Parings- Hugh Drysdale x Reader

Hi hi everyone who’s reading this, this is where we start to get some real development and man am I excited, updates will now be weekly do to work and some other things gluon but I hope you enjoy

“Alright Dove, you can open your eyes now” You smiled and opened your eyes to see Hugh standing there with two tickets and a set of brand new luggage.

“We’re going to England!”

The women at the hair salon insisted that Hugh was going to propose soon, and this trip made you think they were correct.

‘Oh Hugh this is wonderful, it must have cost a fortune’ you hugged Hugh. He held your chin and kissed you “don’t worry about that Dove you’ll get wrinkles” he rubbed his thumb over you forehead, he placed a kiss and said goodbye leaving for work. “We’ll leave tomorrow morning so you should pack, see you when I get home dove”

You picked up one of the bags and carried it to your bedroom. What to pack for a trip across the sea. You’d never been to England, the furthest you’d been from home was Coney Island.

You ironed some dresses and a few outfits carefully packing them away. As you closed your dresser a picture fell.

You knew by the frame which one it was. It was a picture of you and Bucky when you were children, covered in dirt from head to toe, Bucky's arm around you, huge smiles on both your faces (Buckys was missing some teeth).

Every night you hoped that you’d get a letter saying he’d been found, but part of you was glad, because if he hadn’t been found it meant that there was a chance he was out there somewhere.

You weren’t sure what to do about Steve’s house, or even your own. You phoned your neighbor ‘hi Mary how are the kids’

“Oh goodness dear, they’re wonderful, what can a do for you”

‘Well I do actually have a favor, I’ll be heading to England for a little while and I was hoping you could take care of the house for a little bit’

Mary hummed into the phone and you heard her yell at one of her kids before coming back on the line “Sure dear, that shouldn’t be a problem, HENRY I SAID STOP PUTTING YOUR BROTHER IN THE DRYER” you heard the phone drop. You ended the call and finished packing.

The next morning you were off to say you were nervous was an understatement. The plane was not as horrible as you thought but being that high up made your stomach feel all out of turn. Hugh excused himself several times leaving you to stare out into the cold vast openness of the ocean.

When you landed in England, Hugh insisted that he had someone who would take your bags to the place you were staying. A car arrived and picked you up bringing you to a small bar in London, the Whip and fiddle.

Hugh ordered a bottle of wine and sat down at a booth with his arm around you. The music played softly as you two sat together. You sipped you wine and talked all evening until a group of soldiers filtered in. They were loud, but they seemed overjoyed. It wasn’t until you heard them talking that you realized they were American. Hugh looked irritated “I think we should go now now Y/N” Hugh grabbed your hand and pulled you up. ‘Hugh your hurting me a little bit honey’ he continued to yank you out of the bar. In his frustration he didn’t even look where he was going until he ran smack into a man. “Hey watch it, where you going friend we’re celebrating and the Captains covering the tab” the man's uniform read private Jones.

He noticed you and smiled “I didn’t realize I was in the presence of a lady..” his eyebrows furrowed “wait, do I know you from somewhere miss?”

You laughed ‘no sir I think I’d remember a charmer such as yourself, I’m Y/N Y/L/N”

The man stopped, his friend next to him looked up at you. Hugh squeezed your hand causing you to wince and pull away. You whispered ‘Hugh really your hurting me’

The other man stood up “Y/L/N, Buckys…” he stopped ‘you knew my cousin’ you pushed yourself from Hugh. Hugh looked at you, you saw anger in his eyes. “Bucky who the hell is Bucky”

‘Bucky, he was my cousin the one who went missing, his name was James but we called him Bucky’

Hugh looked at you “oh well I’m glad we had a reunion, but I said it’s time to leave” he reached out to grab you only to be blocked by the two men. “Ma’am My name is Dugan and you’ve already met my friend Gabe here, would you like to leave?”

You looked at Hugh, ‘well he’s the only one I really know here, and he is my boyfriend.. so I probably should..’

a familiar voice spoke up from behind you “well kid, he’s not the only one you know here”

You spun around, Bucky stood before you. His hair was a little bit longer and he looked like he had gone through hell. He held out his arms and you ran over to him, he pulled you into a big hug. ‘You need a shower’ Bucky laughed at you “it’s been a Rough few weeks, what are you doing here?”

Hugh interrupted the both of you “I’m going back to the hotel.” He stormed out, Gabe flipping him off as he stormed out of the bar.

“What kind of man leaves their girl in a bar with a bunch of strangers” Dugan turned around to look at you. Bucky frowned “one that’s not good enough for my only Family” he pulled you into another hug roughing up your hair like he did when you were younger.

‘We were here on vacation, I actually don’t know what hotel we were in, it’s our first night…. Bucky I thought you were missing’

Bucky sat down at the bar and ordered two drinks “He was, but what kind of friend would I be if I lost him”

Steve walked up smiling, “you know technically I saved him so he should be paying and yet the tab is under my name”

You were at a loss for words, Bucky and Steve were back, and you were with them. ‘Well thank you Steve. He’s all I have left, I don’t know what I’d do without him’ you smiled at your cousin clinking your glasses together as you drank.

“I saw that guy you were with in New York, he didn’t seem to pleased” Steve sat down, it felt odd being between him and Bucky again, but it also felt safe. ‘Oh, Hugh brought me here. It was supposed to be our vacation… I think he’s going to propose..’ you stopped yourself

“And you're going to say no right? I saw the guy for like 2 seconds and can tell he’s no good” Bucky looked at you, you put your hand on his face ‘Buck if I write someone out after every fight I wouldn’t talk to you, or Steve for that matter.’ Bucky laughed and got another drink. The three of you caught up and laughed. Steve and Bucky decided that you’d stay on base until things were better.

After a few drinks Bucky pulled you aside, “you know, since we were kids you have been head over heels for him” you looked away from Steve who was laughing with a group of guys. “When are you going to tell him Y/N/N” you sipped your drink looking at Steve, he saw you and started to walk over.

A woman in a red dress stopped him. She had all eyes on her including your cousin, who you punched in the arm. Steve and the woman talked for a little bit, laughing with him, flirting. You excused yourself to the bathroom.

Tears streamed down your face as you looked in the mirror, trying to pull yourself together. You splashed water on your face when the door opened “Oh, I didn’t realize anyone else was in here, are you alright?”

You looked up, the woman in the red dress smiled at you holding out a tissue. ‘Oh I’m fine really, just happy to see my family again’

The woman looked you up and down “you must be Sergeant Barnes’s cousin I’ve heard so much about, I’m Peggy Carter it’s very nice to meet you” she held out her hand for you. You shook it “I hear you’ll be staying on base with us for a while, my doors always open of course. It’ll be nice to have another woman around”

You couldn’t help but like her, she was kind and warm and borderline perfect. ‘Thank you, as much as I adore my cousin I think being cooped up with him for a few months would drive me insane’ she smiled at you. “I think we’ll be good friends Y/N”

You nodded ‘I’d like to hope so Ms.Carter’

“Oh please, call me Peggy”

When you got to base you decided to take up Peggy's offer of staying with her, Steve and his troop were set to leave in the morning so you figured it would be best. She showed you around her place, leaving you her spare bedroom. It clearly was an old office space but you didn’t mind.

You thought about Hugh, feeling bad for leaving him without a word. But then again he left you without a second thought.

Peggy lent you a few dresses and suits, promising that tomorrow you’d go shopping if you felt up for it. She seemed excited to show you London, and when you asked about a shooting range she lit up with excitement planning a whole day for you.

You couldn’t help but notice on her desk, a picture of Steve. Your Steve, the small scrawny kid from Brooklyn that you fell in love with.

You fell asleep in the spare room of the woman who had won the heart of the man you had loved for years. Wondering what the next few months would hold for you.

#marvel #bucky barnes #reader insert #steve rodgers x reader #txt fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans #hugh drysdale #steve rogers fanfiction #steve x y/n #steve x you #steve x reader #steve rogers #flash forward

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jammingwithjj · 4 years ago

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car’s outside - d.s

(this is inspired by the song “car’s outside” by james arthur, hence the name!)

pairings: drew starkey x female reader

summary: drew had just got back into town after being gone for nearly 6 months. you were lonely, but you understood. it was his job. you guys got into an argument about how he travels so much, and never seems to have time for you.

warnings: swearing, verbal fighting. mentions of alcohol, etc...

you were sat at home, waiting for something interesting to happen. you knew you were wasting your time. nothing ever happened when drew was gone. he was always in such a good mood, and you were always out doing something, or hanging with friends, or just wasting time. you hated when he left, but you knew he had to. it was his job...

you sat on the couch a while longer when your phone rang, pulling you out of the flashbacks you often found yourself reliving.

“hello?” you didn’t even look at the caller ID.

“hey baby.” drew cooed on the other end.

“hi. drew.” you smiled, finally hearing his voice after a long, boring day.

“everything ok, baby? you sound sad.” he asked you, concerned. he hated when you were sad.

“yeah, fine. just missin’ you. that’s all.” you told him. part of it was true, but you would never admit to him how hurt you were that he seemed so okay with leaving you so often...

“okay... just checking. i actually called to tell you some good news.” he said.

“ok... what is it?!” you practically yelled through the phone.

“i’m at the airport. and i’m comin’ home. for a while this time.” he told you. you stared in disbelief.

“wait- what? you’re-you’re coming home?” you asked him again.

“mhmm. i should be there in about 4 hours. we’re boarding now.” he said to you.

“okay, baby. ill cya then. i love you. ill see you soon.” you said. as he responded with the infamous “i love you, princess.”

you got up and tried your best to tidy, but since you hadn’t done much the past couple days, there wasn’t much to tidy, or clean. you knew he wouldn’t care, but you were really just looking for something to distract you. you missed him so much, and couldn’t wait to finally see him. he’d been filming Netflix’s Outer Banks for what seemed like a lifetime. you had been dating nearly 2 years, and then he landed the job for Netflix. you were so incredibly happy for you, but a part of you wanted to hold him back. be selfish for once. now everyone knows his name. he’s not yours anymore... but you could never, and would never actually hold him back from anything that big.

a couple hours later, you were still finding things to do. cleaning counters, wiping down sidetables in the bedroom, and living room. contemplating whether or not you were going to clean the windows... you never ended up cleaning the windows...

20 minutes pass, and you had migrated to the bedroom, picking out clothing items you didn’t wear anymore, and inevitably shoving them in a bag that would probably just sit in the closet for months, waiting for someone to do something with it. you had picked out some comfy clothes to put on after your shower, and threw them in the dryer so they’d be warm once you were ready to wear them.

right before you got in the shower, your phone rang.

“hey, drew. everything okay?” you picked up the phone, to hear a bunch of chatter.

“hey, y/n. i just wanted to let you know that i landed. getting my luggage now!” he spoke, cheerfully.

“oh, ok! i’ll be there to pick you up in about an hour, bub. i love you, cya soon.” you spoke, hanging up the phone.

you quickly got in the shower, dressed yourself, and started to go to the airport to pick drew up. you stopped off to get a coffee on the way, and got home coffee too.

you pulled into the airport, and parked. you went into the airport to see drew standing there, looking like a lost puppy, standing there waiting there for you.

“hi, baby.” he smiles at you, pulling you into a hug.

you breathed out, burying your head in his chest. “missed you.” you said, nuzzling your head the best you could in his shoulder. “you have everything?” you pulled away, looking up at him.

he nodded, grabbing his suitcase and he began to wheel it out to where your car. “i’m so happy to be back. i missed you, and all of the adventures we used to go on.” he smiled, as you guys family reached your car.

you smiled again at his comment, and you both got in the car, eager to get home and fill each other in on all of the goings-on while you were away from each other.

about an hour later, you pulled into your driveway.

“baby, wake up.” you rubbed his shoulder, watching as his eyes started to flutter open.

“are we home?” he stretched and looked at you.

you nodded, “yeah, we are! you go inside and lay down, babe. i’ll get your stuff.” you said.

you watched as he walked to the trunk, and got his luggage. “honey, i got it. go in.” you told him.

“i’m all good. i got it.” he says, and wheels his luggage into the apartment.

“ah, home.” he looks around and smiles, dropping his stuff in the bedroom, and going back out into the living room. you followed close behind him, and met in the kitchen.

“so, fill me in. what adventures did you have while you were gone?” you asked him, propping yourself up on the counter.

“i had so much fun, babe. it was definitely a like changing experience. i wish you could’ve been there, seen everything.” he says, fiddling with the string of his hoodie.

“i saw all of the pictures on instagram. it looked like a really fun time. i’m glad you had fun, baby.” you said, pulling him in, and running your fingers through the hair at the naps of his neck, causing a shiver to run through him.

he heard his phone ring, and pulled away from the hug. “hello,” he answered. his face twisted in distress.

“okay, i’ll be there...” he said, hanging up the phone.

“baby...” you looked at him watching him watch you.

“please don’t be mad...” he said, looking down at you

“i won’t be, drew. what’s up?” you asked.

he explained how they needed to reshoot some scenes again, and they wanted to do it before the storm hit, which meant he would have to fly back out early tomorrow morning.

you sat there for a second, looking at his face, and realizing how much you missed it. all you wanted was to wake up next to him, in real life. in person, without all the worry of having a charged phone, or making sure to call them today. you didn’t want to have to worry anymore.

“but- you just left...” you impulsively spoke. he looked at you.

“i know, baby. but it’ll only be for a few weeks. a month maybe. i really wish i could stay, but i have to go... i’m sorry, baby.” he tried to comfort you, but you were sick of it. all of it. you weren’t mad at him, but you just couldn’t stand to be away from him anymore.

you sigh, “it’s just that, you’re always leaving, and- i-i’m tired of not being where you are. i just wanna be with you. i’m tired of loving from thousands of miles away.” you admitted, fiddling with your thumbs.

“y’know what? screw it. screw it all. i’m sick of leaving. i don’t wanna leave you anymore. go pack. we leave at 5. you’re coming with me this time. and every time after that. i- i finally realized that i can’t live without you. you’re my world, a-and...” he trailed off. “i just love you so much...” he finally got out, and followed you to the bedroom to help you pack.

(a/n): hi guys :) i hope you enjoyed my first post on this account! this was a little rushed, but i should be posting more content later this week! love u all, u rock ♥️

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let-it-raines · 6 years ago

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Rising from the Ashes (11/?)

Summary: When her husband died, Emma wasn’t sure that she could ever move on. He left her with a broken heart and a baby who was only three-months old. It’s enough to take most people down, to make them not want to keep going, but Emma Swan isn’t most people. She’s stronger than she has any right to be. And after years of heartache, she’s found ways to move on…one of those being in Neal’s best friend, Killian Jones.

As she’s always known, however, things are more complicated than they ever seem to be.

Rating: Mature

A/N: This is a happy chapter. I’m just going to flat out say that, haha. I’m gong to be a bit busy with life and be out of town for awhile soon, so I’m posting this chapter a little early! I’ll do the same with Bullseye. Have a good weekend! 💕

Found on AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Tag list: @jamif @artistic-writer @cs-forlife @qualitycoffeethings @resident-of-storybrooke @captainsjedi @captswanis4vr @teamhook @ekr032-blog-blog @mayquita @bmbbcs4evr @wellhellotragic @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @onceuponaprincessworld @shady-swan-jones @snowbellewells @snow-into-ash @andiirivera @mariakov81 @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @kristi555 @facesiousbutton82 @superchocovian @jonirobinson64

“Do you want me to take you to work on the way to the airport?”

She looks up from where she’s chopping up chicken for dinner later to see Neal sitting on a barstool fiddling away with his phone, brows creased and lines on his forehead bunching together. It must be a work thing. That’s usually how he looks when it’s about work, especially because she doesn’t think he really has a lot of friends here. Well, he’s got his support group friends and a few guys that he likes to go have drinks with. And she’s pretty sure he’s friends with some people who share the same therapist as him, but she literally has no idea how that would work. It’s easier not to ask too many questions with Neal, though. He’s never been one for sharing too much, and she knows when to prod and when not to.

Most of the time.

So maybe he does have friends. She should probably ask him about his friends, maybe offer to have them over for dinner one day after the holidays.

“Neal,” she asks, tapping her knife against the cutting board until he looks up, his face immediately relaxing, “did you hear me?”

“Were you talking?”

“I was,” she laughs, scooping the chicken into a Tupperware container. “I asked if you want me to take you to work. You can’t use my car because I need it, so I figured you need a ride. Of course, Killian can take you too. You should look into getting a car sometime soon, though. I don’t know how long we’re going to be able to function getting around with our different schedules and your therapy, especially because I go back to work soon. And riding the bus isn’t super convenient, so just a thought.”

Neal hums before sliding his phone in his pocket. “I’ll ride with Killian today. I’ve got therapy after work, but I’ll take the bus there since I know everyone will be busy.”

“If you’re sure. But really, let’s go look for you something after the new year.”

“What happened to my truck? And the bug? We don’t have either of those anymore? They’re not in storage or something?”

“I, uh, sold them,” she admits, picking up the container of chicken and moving to put it in the fridge before she walking back to the island and twisting the knob for the sink so that she can wash her hands. “Your truck was worth money when I needed money, and the bug was not safe for kids. When we got here and I found out I was pregnant with Ada, Killian and I went and found me a mid-sized SUV so that, you know, I wasn’t going to have to go full on minivan.”

He clicks his tongue at that before a soft smile forms on his face. “You are not a minivan type of mom.”

“No, I’m not,” she agrees, wiping her hands off on a towel.” But I am the mom to a mini little munchkin who is currently running into the wall with her bouncer right not. Ada,” she chuckles, walking over to her kid and scooping her out of the bouncer while she gurgles something that is definitely not a word, “you are going to knock things over, my love. You’re going to be a wild child, aren’t you? You definitely can’t start crawling. I know you’re close, but not when you’re a menace.”

“I know I keep asking, but how old is she again?” Neal asks while she hears both Henry and Killian walking around upstairs. Every single person in this house is going to be late to where they’re going today if they don’t hurry. She absolutely cannot wait until her life isn’t chaotic.

That may never happen.

“Seven months.”

“She’s small.”

“She’s on the tinier side, but she’s in normal range,” she sighs as she runs her hand over Ada’s head, brushing her hair back a bit. It’s still thin, but she can see the slightest bit of curl at the ends. “Can you do me a favor and go tell Henry and Killian to hurry up?”

Neal bows his head and mock salutes before he’s turning and quickly running up the stairs while she balances Ada on her hip and moves around to make sure that Henry will be ready to put his coat and shoes on before they get in the car. It’s kind of a crazy day with Liam and Belle coming in from London. Henry’s on Christmas break now, so while she’d think that it’d be easier not having to get him ready for school, she can’t leave him here alone so she’s always wrangling him to go places. He may act mature sometimes, but he’s eight. She’s pretty sure that’s illegal.

She should probably know that.

So she’s got Henry and Ada both home with her, Neal and Killian going to work and therapy and whatever else it is they do, and Liam and Belle coming to stay for a week, even if they’re sleeping in a hotel. It’s all a little insane. Plus she’s finally going back to work in two weeks, and that’s kind of stressing her out since there’s a lot to catch up on and she’s not exactly in love with Ada’s daycare.

And Christmas.

Christmas is also a little stressful with her family spending time here as well, but she’s determined to make it the best year for everyone.

For her too. She doesn’t tend to think she’s selfish, but she’s been through some shit this year. She deserves nice things, even if those nice things are she and Killian getting a quiet, calm morning to themselves.

“Mom,” Henry groans, running down the stairs in a hoodie and what she’s pretty sure are pajama pants, “I can’t find my pants.”

“You know what, kid,” she sighs, walking toward him and messing with his hair to make it look like less of a disaster, “it doesn’t matter. I don’t think your aunt and uncle are going to care if you’re looking a little messy.”

“Are they here yet?” he asks excitedly, his eyes lighting up as he bounces a bit up and down. Henry loves Liam quite possibly more than he loves anyone, and he’s been counting down his arrival since they told him about it.

“They are going to land any minute now.”

“Do you think they brought me presents?”

“I think so, but you absolutely cannot ask for them when we see them. You have to wait.”

“But – ”

“Nope.”

“Mom.”

“Take your pajama covered legs and go eat some of the fruit that’s on the counter.”

“Do we have poptarts?”

“No,” she lies, thinking of the box in the cabinet behind the plates, “we don’t. You’re having fruit.”

Henry groans before she swears he mumbles something about her being too much like Killian in making him eat healthy. It’s a constant battle. He’s a good kid, but sometimes the call for sugar is too much.

She can’t believe he and Killian have been up there this entire time and Killian didn’t manage to get him in a pair of jeans.

Killian and Neal come down the stairs almost simultaneously, Killian trailing just behind Neal while he messes with the cuffs on his shirt underneath his suit jacket. By the time she gets used to having them both in the house, Neal will probably be able to get his own apartment. They haven’t talked about that. Hell, they’re just now talking about him getting a car, but she figures it has to happen eventually once he has some money and is feeling more stable. He can’t live with them forever. She’s all about her modern family or whatever, but she doesn’t want to live with her ex-husband for the next decade. She’s more than happy to help him, to let him get to know Henry, to let her get to know him again, but there’s going to be a point when he can’t live here anymore.

It’s only been four months, and he’s going through a lot. She really doesn’t mind right now. He can take his time.

But they’ll get there. Life has been insane, more than insane really, and she thinks everything is beginning to settle down again. She and Killian are together again, and even though it’s only been twelve days and she’s still a little hurt over everything, it’s going well. They’re sleeping in the same room again, sleeping together again, but mostly they’re talking. They’ve most likely talked until their faces turned blue, sometimes arguing over what’s been going on, but she’ll take the arguments over the nothing any day of the week.

She’s had two big loves in her life, and neither of them have been perfect. Neal, even with all of their issues that she’s coming to understand now, was someone who she really did love. She loved him, thought the world of him, but they’re not going to work out. It probably would have happened eventually, even without the tragedy of their story. She just didn’t realize it at the time. He’s not a bad guy, not really, but he’s not right for her. Maybe at the time but not anymore. She thinks what they have going for them, this friendship of sorts, is going to be wonderful.

Killian’s not without his issues as well, but she doesn’t like to think of it as a comparison. That’s what everyone else has been doing to her. They’ve made it a comparison, a contest between the two of them, and it’s not that. It’s simply that for who she is, for how she’s grown through the absolute shitstorm that has been parts of her life, Killian matches up well with her. He’s been her best friend for a long time, and he understands her. He understands when she needs comforting and when she needs to be left alone. He understands how she ticks, how she thinks about things. He understands her.

She understands him.

They’re far from perfect, but she loves him. Honestly and truly she does. Even when he’s being a dumbass and thinking that she needed time to think, she loves him. She understands why he did that now that they’ve talked through things, now that she’s had time to think without her heart being broken. Killian feels things more deeply than most people she knows, maybe more than anybody she knows, and even when he tries to disguise it, his emotions are always right there on his sleeve. Sometimes she’s the only one allowed to see them.

She’s thankful for that.

They’re good, the two of them, and the constant constriction of her heart being squeezed in by her ribcage is getting back to the normal as the two of them get back to them and to being a team while raising their children.

Her life hasn’t been easy, but she’s happy.

She’s finally happy again.

And he looks damn good in that blue suit. That doesn’t even matter, but she’s allowed to point these things out. She’s allowed to appreciate him. She should.

“I am running so late,” Killian mumbles rushing right by her and into the kitchen to grab a travel mug of coffee from the pot Neal made. “Neal, can you go crank up the car? It’s going to take awhile to defrost.”

“Sure thing,” Neal nods, ruffling Henry’s hair, which is obviously something he’s never going to learn not to do with Henry, and waving to she and Ada who gurgles right back at him before he’s grabbing his coat and heading outside.

“Bye, Henry,” Killian quickly hums, twisting his mug’s top on and raising his hand so Henry can give him a high five, before he’s walking over to her, kissing Ada’s head, and then mumbling about being late again as he pulls on his coat and walks out the door, the wood slamming behind him.

She knows that being late is his biggest pet peeve and that it stresses him, but she kind of can’t believe he just forgot to tell her goodbye. It’s not that big of a deal, but if he’s that frazzled now, he’s going to be a mess for the rest of the day, even knowing that Liam is going to be here waiting for him when he gets home. Or that might be part of the reason he’s frazzled. Liam is his best friend, and she knows that he’s anxious to see him. He’s been Killian’s support system through all of this like David has been hers.

They’ve got some good older brothers.

“You do too,” she says out loud to Ada, stepping out of the kitchen and into the hallway so that she can lock the front door behind Killian only for the door to swing open and for Killian to come jogging back into the house and quickly tugs her into a kiss, capturing her lips with the intensity of a man starved even if they’re simply parting ways for a few hours. She’s not going to complain. She loves him and loves that they’re back to this.

She loves that he remembered even if it’s the smallest thing and he’s running late.

She loves how he kisses her.

“I love you,” he whispers in her ear, nuzzling her neck a bit while he places a kiss just below her lobe. She thinks she might melt every time he does that. And when he playfully squeezes her ass like he’s doing right now. She could melt at that too. “Your ass looks fantastic in these jeans, by the way. I’d like to wax a little more poetic on that later, but I’ve got to go to work.”

She snickers and turns her head to quickly brush her lips over his two times. “I love you, and I am willing to take you up on that offer later if I can get you away from your brother. Your ass looks good in your pants too.”

“Good,” he smiles, leaning back before dipping his head down to kiss Ada’s forehead. “Goodbye, my little love. Daddy will be home later.”

He kisses her cheek again before walking out the door, slamming it closed behind him as he most likely runs to the car. She’s just glad it’s not snowing. He’d lose his mind or something trying to drive through it.

“Alright, Henry,” she yells as she turns the lock, “we’re leaving for the airport in fifteen minutes whether you have that food in your stomach or not.”

-/-

“Are you nervous, lad?” Killian asks Henry as the plane begins to taxi so that they can take off.

“No. Why would I be scared of a plane?”

“Some people are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Look at your mum. She’s positively green.”

“That’s not funny,” she groans while her stomach flips again and again, the nausea threating to boil over. She’s been feeling it for two or three days now, but she hasn’t said anything to Killian. She should have, but she’s been a little scared that it was just a bug or something and not what she absolutely hopes that it is after trying for so long. “I’m really not scared.”

“She’s not green,” Henry points out. “How would she turn green?”

“Sometimes when someone is green, it means that they’re sick,” Killian explains to Henry while he places his hand on her leg, squeezing a bit before leaving it there, the slight weight a comfort. “It’s kind of like when you were sick right before school finished and your skin was a bit of a different color.”

Henry hums next to her before leaning over as much as he can with his seatbelt holding him back to look at her face, his eyes scanning hers closely while she presses her lips together in a smile, attempting to look as normal as possible when her body is still reeling.

“I think you look pretty, Momma.”

“Thank you, baby.”

“But your hair does look funny.”

She sniffles at that, trying not to let her laugh get too loud, while Killian can barely contain himself next to her. She loves Henry with everything in her, but damn it, kids tell it like it is. Last week he told Killian that his ears looked like elf ears, and they’d turned as red as her lipstick. He does have elf ears, but she finds them rather charming. Henry, not so much. And now he apparently is taking issue with her hair. She knows that it’s not looking fantastic with the natural curls poking out of her ponytail, but she’s miserable and on an eight-hour plane ride.

This is going to be fantastic.

“Sit back and watch us fly in the air, you crazy kid.”

“Am I going to fly out of my seat?”

“If you take your seatbelt off when you’re not supposed to.”

She rolls her eyes at Killian before reaching to cover her hand over his, resting it on the warmth before she holds her free hand out to hold Henry’s, letting him immediately intertwine his fingers with hers. “You won’t really. It’s just like being in a car except that when the pilot says it’s okay, we can get up to stretch our legs or go to the bathroom.”

“I can’t do that in the car.”

“Exactly,” she laughs, squeezing his hand as the engine starts getting louder and the pavement outside blurs by more quickly. She can’t look, not without throwing up, so she has to focus on chewing her gum and on the seat in front of her.

“Watch as we take off, Henry,” Killian starts, taking over for her and leaning over her body to point out the window. “We’re about to be flying.”

It’s possibly the worst take off of any flight she’s ever been on, but she’s sure that no one else on the plane notices. She, however, is about two seconds from vomiting the entire time, but she doesn’t have anywhere to vomit. None of their seats have any bags, and it’s not like she can get up. It’s going to be minutes before even the flight attendants start moving around.

She’s going to throw up on her boyfriend. That’s what’s going to happen. She’s going to throw up on her boyfriend. Henry isn’t an option, and her feet aren’t an option either. This is the only pair of shoes that she has that are not in her luggage down below.

“Killian,” she whispers, trying to push down the nausea and the rolling waves in her stomach. Her intestines very well may be twisting together and then separating. It’s a lot.

“Yeah, love?”

“I need,” she gulps, trying not to move her lips or her body, “something to throw up in.”

She can’t see his eyes blow wide, but she knows that the blue is frantic and that he’s taken aback. She can imagine it exactly as it happens, can practically hear the opening and closing of his mouth, but she will not move.

She can’t.

“Emma, there’s not anything here unless you want to vomit in Henry’s bag of pretzels.”

She doesn’t, but she has to.

The next ten minutes of her life are some of the most painful, gross, and overall embarrassing minutes of her life. She’s grossed out Henry, who may as well be pressed into the window so hard that he’s going to fall out of the plane, and she’s grossed out every person around them and likely the flight attendants who bring her bags and the trashcan once they realize what’s happening. The only person who isn’t disgusted by her is Killian, and she knows that’s only because he is so freaking worried that he doesn’t have time to think about all of this.

It’d probably be ease some of his fears if she told him she thinks she’s pregnant, but then that would create a whole other host of problems. And she’s not going to tell her boyfriend she’s pregnant on a plane full of strangers who are watching her vomit while her son sits next to her. She doesn’t want Henry to know until she’s sure and until she’s sure that the baby will be okay. She has hope, but so does every mom.

Now is not the time. She’ll tell Killian when they get to their hotel. They’re in the same room as Henry, but she’ll figure it out.

“Did you pack one of those mini bottles of mouthwash?” she asks him when they’ve been in the air for thirty minutes and with the help of some severally underpaid attendants they’ve gotten all of her bags thrown away and everything feeling a bit more normal again.

“Aye, in my bag. Do you need it?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you done throwing up, Momma?”

“I hope so,” she tells Henry, twisting her head to the side to tightly smile at Henry while Killian gets up to get his bag, opening it up in the aisle to find his mouthwash. “I think my body just didn’t react well to flying. I must not have the same flying superpowers that you and Daddy have.”

“Must not. Can I get more pretzels?”

Eight agonizing hours later they’ve landed, and she feels about as clammy and gross as humanly possible, so after changing clothes, washing her face in the bathroom, and then going through customs, they’re greeted by the smiling faces of Liam and Belle who are holding up a poster with colorful words spelling out “Young Master Henry.” It’s the most ridiculous thing in the world, but Liam and Killian call him that enough that it’s a thing now.

“Uncle Liam,” Henry squeals, running the few feet toward Liam with his Spiderman backpack bouncing on his back until he’s literally jumping into Liam’s arms and being lifted up in the air to be spun around.

“Master Henry,” Liam starts, using an extra pompous accent to talk to Henry while he spins him around. “I’m so glad to see that you’ve traveled her safely in your flying car. Your next ride awaits you outside.”

“It’s a plane. It’s better than a car because you can pee in it.”

Liam barks out a laugh at that while Belle tries to stifle hers, and she can do nothing back shake her head back and forth while she envelops Belle in a hug, wrapping her arms around her waist for a minute.

“Hi, darling,” Belle greets, her accent mixing in with everyone else here. This is her first time out of the country, and it’s a little overwhelming. The constant nausea doesn’t help. But she’s excited to be here. Plus they have Liam and Belle to help guide them. And the trip isn’t really about sightseeing. It’s about seeing family. “How was the flight?”

“It was a flight,” she says dryly, pulling back and smiling up at her, kind of wishing that her hair was as shiny and straight as the deep brown of Belle’s hair. “How are you?”

“I’m just perfect, but I need to hug my best friend, Henry.”

“Avery is my best friend,” Henry corrects, but Liam hands him off to Belle anyways. She’s not tall, and Henry’s almost seven-year-old frame overwhelms her.

“You can have more than one,” Liam laughs before he’s wrapping her in a hug, his body overwhelming her as he cups the back of her head. He hugs just like David. It must be a big brother thing. Maybe Henry will do that with his sibling. They need to buy a test. “Hello, little birdie.”

“Hi, big Jones.”

“Oi, Swan,” Killian scoffs from behind her, “you cannot call him that.”

“So insecure in his manhood, the little one,” Liam jokes, kissing the top of her head before pulling back. “Alright, my brood, Belle and I are going to take you out to dinner and then to the flat, okay?”

“Actually, can you take us home or to the hotel?” Killian suggests, placing his hand on the small of her back so that she can feel the heat and sureness of him. “Emma had a bit of a rough flight. She might have a bit of a bug, so I think she may want to shower.”

“You alright, lass?” Liam asks, his brows raising in a way that’s so much like Killian that she’ll never quite be over it.

“I’m fine,” she promises, resting her head on Killian’s shoulder. “Let’s just get takeout and go to your apartment, okay?”

She showers the moment they get back to the apartment… or flat as Liam corrects, leaving everyone else to eat their tai food, and even as the nausea persists, she feels a thousand times better than she did on the plane. Seriously. She’s not sure if she’s ever felt that gross, even when she was pregnant with Henry. But she was younger then and maybe things are just different. Plus she wasn’t on a plane then.

She’s not eating the tai food, though. That’s not happening at all.

There’s a knock on the bathroom door, and she walks over to twist the lock, pulling the door open and looking to see Killian standing outside with his hand still resting on the frame.

“Hi.”

“Are you creeping on me in the bathroom for a reason, babe?”

He hums before opening the door a bit and stepping inside, shutting them into the small room that’s still filled with steam on the mirror. She hasn’t looked at herself, but she imagines that her hair is tangled and that she’s got mascara smudged all down her cheeks. She really doesn’t care.

“I’m simply checking on you.” He takes a step forward and places his hands on her hips, his thumbs reaching up under her t-shirt to rub into the skin. It’s soothing, and with how exhausted she is, it could make her fall asleep. Instead she leans into Killian and buries her face in his shoulder, knowing that it’s going to get stained from her face. At least his shirt is black. “Are you okay? Feeling better?”

“A little.”

He hums again before one of his hands moves from her hip up her back, the warmth of his body trickling against every inch of her skin, enveloping her in a comfort she hasn’t felt all day. It only gets better when she feels his mouth against her neck, a contrast of the softness of his lips and the slight harshness of his beard.

“Are you pregnant?”

She doesn’t know why she’s taken aback by it, but she is. Of course Killian knows. How could he not? He knows more about pregnancy than she does. He’s been looking everything up since they decided to officially start trying last year. It’s been a bit rough, which is probably why she’s a little hesitant to take a test. She knows. There’s not much doubt, but it’s still terrifying. The last time she told someone she was pregnant, it didn’t go over well. And then Neal died and…the last time she had a baby with someone, it wasn’t great, and even though she trusts Killian, even though they’ve been actively trying for this, she’s still scared that maybe it’ll be a repeat of everything in the past. It’s an unreasonable, unrealistic fear, but it’s there.

She’d love this kid as much as she loves Henry regardless.

She wants this kid so damn badly.

“I don’t know.”

“But you think so?” he asks, his lips so close to her ear that she can feel the vibrations of every word.

“I have to be,” she admits, the weight on her shoulders lightening a bit. “I’m late, I’m tired, I can’t stop vomiting, and my boobs feel like freaking water balloons.”

He doesn’t say anything for far too long, the seconds ticking by as he continues to rub up and down her back while she simply holds onto him, her anchor when she feels like everything can be taken away by a gust of wind.

“So it’s not a stomach bug?”

“Not a stomach bug. I have to take a test, but I’d bet the house on it.”

“I’d take that bet.” He pulls his head away from her neck and moves his hands, all of his warmth leaving until he’s cupping her cheeks and running his thumbs under her eyes while she looks up at him, the blue of his eyes watery and still ridiculously beautiful. “We made a baby.”

“Yeah,” she smiles, “we did.”

“I love you and the bug.”

“The bug?” she asks, tilting her head up and pressing up on her toes while her arms move up his sides to finally land around his neck.

“Well, I don’t know. It’s kind of cute. It’s not a stomach bug like everyone in the den thinks or everyone on the plane, but we could still call it a bug.”

“So you’re equating this almost sure thing of a baby, your own flesh and blood, to a stomach bug?”

“Aye, I’m a wonderful father.”

She can’t help herself to lean forward and quickly brush her lips over his, featherlight touches that only make her feel better about all of this. He’s happy. He’s happy that this is happening. She can see it in the smile on his face and hear it in his voice.

She’s happy too.

“That you already are,” she promises, thinking of Henry and how Killian has been a dad for much longer than their little bug has been into existence. “And I love you too. Now let’s go lie to your family and our kid about all of this and act like we were totally just making out in the bathroom or something.”

He moves his brows across his forehead until one of them lands somewhere near his hairline while his entire face crinkles in a smirk. “Or we could actually make out, and it’ll only be half a lie.”

“I’ve been vomiting all day.”

“We’ll strive to make out tomorrow.”

-/-

“Momma,” Henry whines, his feet bouncing up and down as she tries to keep him still while also holding Ada on her hip. She should have brought in the bjorn, but she honestly didn’t think they’d be standing her for this long, especially since they did not leave the house in fifteen minutes.

It was more like thirty.

Forty.

“Where are they?”

“They are almost here. You have to be patient.”

“I am, but you said that they would be here when I got here.”

She sighs, frustration beginning to build up. She knows that Henry’s excited and anxious to see Liam and Belle. It’s all he’s been talking about for a week, but damn has he forgotten all of his manners and his patience. She should have brought him one of his books to read.

“Do you remember when we went to London to visit them?”

“Yeah, you threw up on the plane. That was funny.”

“You’re gross,” she laughs, tugging him into her side while Ada grabs at her sweater just over her boobs. “But do you remember how long it took for those people to check our bags while they asked us questions?”

“It took forever.”

“It did, and that’s what Liam and Belle are doing right now.”

“Ada is lucky that she didn’t have to wait there with us.”

Technically she did, but that’s a story for another time.

“You hear that, Ada bug? Your brother is looking out for you by telling you not to go through customs. I bet he’ll hold your hand when you get to fly for the first time too.”

She lets out this sound that is somewhere between a gurgle, a laugh, and a scream, and Emma can do nothing but lift her and adjust her over her shoulder so that she immediately starts yanking on her hair despite it being pulled up.

“When is Ada going to fly?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we’ll go on a vacation next summer after you get out of school.”

“Where?”

“Where do you want to go?”

“Australia.”

“What?” she laughs, looking down at Henry as his eyes still glance out amongst the crowd, looking for Liam. He loves Belle, but she knows that he’s looking for Liam. If she and Killian were put up against Liam for who Henry loves the most, they wouldn’t have a chance. And she likes to think she’s got it good with her kid.

“Australia. I want to see the giant bugs.”

“Ask your daddy about that one, kid,” she sighs. “I am not going somewhere to see giant bugs unless it’s the zoo and they’re in a case.”

“They don’t hurt, unless you get bit by the poisonous ones.”

“Did we learn this from TV or a book?”

“National Geographic. I got thirsty last night and went downstairs to get some water and Dad was up talking on the phone.”

“At what time?”

“I don’t know, but he hung up and we watched a show about Australia.”

She’s about to say something about how he doesn’t need to be watching TV past bedtime, but then she sees a familiar crop of curly dark hair and startlingly familiar blue eyes.

“I think I see – ”

“Uncle Liam,” he shouts, running out from under her arm and the few feet until he’s jumping into Liam’s arms, the man only stumbling back a bit as he catches him while also balancing everything he was holding. It’s been since Ada’s birth since they’ve seen each other, and that’s far too long for how much they love each other.

She can’t wait to see Killian tackle Liam later. Maybe not literally, but it’ll happen.

“Alright, munchkin,” she sighs to Ada who is still tugging at her hair, eyes moving around at all of the excitement, “let’s go see the people who are about to smother you with love.”

“Oh, I’m so happy to see you,” Belle laughs, quickly walking past Liam and Henry to get to her, wrapping her in a side hug so that she doesn’t physically smother Ada. “And she’s so big, oh my goodness. You’re not supposed to be this big.”

“You want to let your aunt Belle hold you?” she asks Ada, brushing back her hair while she tries to judge how wary Ada is of her.

“I promise I don’t bite, darling,” Belle whispers, running her fingers up and down Ada’s arm until she starts giggling, her laugh like a little scream. Emma takes that as a good sign as she hands Ada over and let’s Belle hold her for a moment.

As long as laughter is the only screaming that’s happening, they’re good to go.

“Hi,” she waves to Liam.

“One moment, Birdie, and I’ll hug you. I’ve got to put this strapping young lad down first.”

“I thought you said I was cool.”

“Strapping is a cooler way to say cool.”

“Cool.”

If they say cool one more time, they’re going to be Jake Peralta.

But Liam puts Henry down, his hair all askew from being moved around, and then he wraps her in one of the tights hugs she’s ever felt, cupping her head to pull her in closer.

He’s so much like David it’s ridiculous.

“I’m so happy to see you and to see that smile on your face. I’m sorry that my brother is an idiot who thought that he was doing the right thing by stepping away from you. Most dumbass decision he’s ever made.”

She nods into his chest before pulling back and smiling at him even as water pools in her eyes. She loves Liam a hell of a lot too. “I completely agree, but I’m sure you have plans to chew his head off later now that you can see him in person.”

“I have an itemized list.”

“Of course you do.”

It’s a bit of a mess getting everyone in the car, especially with luggage and kids and the busyness of the airport during the holiday season, but eventually everyone is strapped in and she’s driving out of the congestion and back to the house, only stopping to let Liam and Belle get some coffee and something to eat that’s not out of the kitchen at home. They’re going to be subjected to she and Killian cooking for an entire week, and while she thinks they’re pretty good, she doesn’t want to force others into it completely. By the time they get home, it’s already past lunchtime, so while Liam and Belle settle down in the living room with Henry as she’s sure he bugs them about presents, she takes Ada upstairs and undresses so she can feed her.

“I’m exhausted, bug,” she sighs, leaning back against the bed but making sure not to move too much as Ada looks up at her, the green in her eyes shining through as she looks up at her. “You’re exhausting, your brother is exhausting, and we have so many people in this house that I have a feeling that I’m going to be faking some of your feedings just so I can leave the room.”

Ada doesn’t say anything back, obviously, so Emma continues to brush her tufts of hair back while she looks over toward the window, midday light shining through the window over the seat. She needs to fix those pillows up.

“I love our family. I do. But your mommy needs a break. I think Daddy and I need to go on vacation together. How do you feel about spending your first Christmas without your parents?” Ada bites down, hard, and she nearly cries at the pain that it causes her. Breastfeeding is bonding and a way to help provide for you child, but damn, isn’t there anything about childbirth that’s not painful? “You’re lucky you’re cute, kid. I mean, I’m a little biased, but I think you’re one of the two cutest kids in the world. I’d never leave you for Christmas either. We’re going to have a good one. All of our family is going to be here, and you’re going to get lots of gifts that you won’t fully get.”

Honestly, with Henry she was alone all of the time, so the full on conversations were pretty frequent. They happened every day. She’d tell him about groceries that needed to be bought or about her disagreements with a plot in a television show. She’d tell him when she missed Neal or when she was having a really good day. She told Henry everything, and even though she’s not always alone with Ada now, she does the same thing. She knows that it helps their development, but it comforts her to be able to talk to this little human being who relies on her for life and comfort and love. She obviously doesn’t remember her life as a baby, but she knows that she didn’t get this kind of love.

All she wants in life is for her kids to get all of the love she didn’t.

There’s a knock on their door, and after she tells whoever it is that she’s breastfeeding but that they can come in, Belle wanders in with a timid smile on her face before she comes to sit on the bed, the mattress only moving the slightest bit underneath her.

“She is so much more precious in person, Emma.”

“Thank you. I hate that we can’t see each other more often.”

“I know, I know,” Belle sighs, reaching over to tap her fingers against Ada’s arm, Ada’s eyes moving to look for Belle. “If we could somehow relocate my family or yours, that would be just wonderful. I miss you all far too much.”

“The same here. Did you see Henry at the airport? Killian’s going to be so much worse when he gets home. I’m surprised he isn’t coming home on his lunchbreak to see you guys.” “That’s because he’ll need more than an hour to talk to Liam. I’ve never seen siblings that close.”

“They’re definitely special, but enough about then. Tell me what’s new with you. I’m so sorry I’ve lost touch over the past few weeks. It’s been – ”

“Insane,” Belle finishes for her. “Your life has been insane. I can’t even imagine. Liam has told me a little that Killian has said, and I am so dang impressed by you and your strength.”

Her cheeks flush. She’s never been great at accepting compliments, but especially when she doesn’t feel like she deserves it.

“It’s been hard. I honestly think the emotional turmoil has been about the same as when I was told Neal died. And it doesn’t help that both times I’ve been through things like this, I’m still extra hormonal from giving birth. I think – if Killian hadn’t gotten his head out of his ass and started talking to me when he did, I might have really gone crazy.”

“I still can’t believe he tried to break up with you.”

“I can. It’s Killian. He’s this honorable man who doesn’t believe that he deserves the good things that happen to him. He puts everyone above himself, even when his plans backfire. And just the…the guilt has been hard on both of us.”

“I’m sorry,” Belle tells her, reaching her hand over to squeeze Emma’s shoulder while Ada finishes eating, a little burp emanating from her as Emma sits her up on her stomach. “But I’m glad you’re a bit better now, especially in time for the holidays. I’m so excited to be here with you.”

“Me too. Now seriously, lady. Tell me about your life. How’s the library now that you guys got that donation?”

“It’s good. I mean, it’s wonderful. I love my job, even with all of the ridiculous people who come in. But I’m in the process of starting a new after school care reading program. It’s a bit much because of all the paperwork that I have to do, but it’s coming along.”

She twists from her spot and presses her lips into a smile while she plops Ada down in between the two of them. “I’m, like, ninety percent sure that you’re secretly a superhero.”

“Well, I do own a pair of glasses that obviously hide my secret identity.”

“I knew it,” she laughs, adjusting her sweater and tugging up her jeans. “Seriously, though, I’m proud of you. You and Liam are going to take over London…or at least increase the literacy rates and then fix all of issues with shipping or whatever logistics Liam does. I don’t ask because it’s so damn boring when he gets into it.”

“Trust me, I know.”

She and Belle hide away in her room for the next hour, catching up on absolutely everything she can think of. They’re in the middle of talking about the new Red Rising series when there’s a loud bang downstairs that has both of them raising their eyebrows. With a shake of her head, she scoops Ada up and walks downstairs with Belle to find Liam and Henry sweeping up glass from a lamp that they knocked over when they were very obviously building a pillow fort in the living room.

“You are forty three years old, babe.”

“You’re never too old for a pillow fort.”

Liam’s right. You’re not. Well, they all are except for Henry, but they do have Henry and Ada who are definitely not too old for a pillow fort. So even though she knows that it’ll drive Killian absolutely up the wall when he gets home to see their carefully cleaned (all Killian as he prepped for his family to fly in) living room filled with all of the blankets and pillows in the house, they spend their day making the best fort possible. Henry loves it and hams it up for Liam, and she feels this absolute lightness in her heart that she hasn’t felt in weeks.

Things are so damn good now.

They get even better when Killian walks in the door after work. She can’t even greet him before Henry is running up to him and tackling him, telling him all about how he just has to see the fort they’ve been building and how it even has snacks.

(She has no idea when he got snacks to hide in there.)

Killian flashes her a confused smile, his brow raised, and she smiles at him as she watches him walk the few feet through the archway and into the living room where Liam is casually sitting propped up against the couch with this smirk on his face that is obviously a part of the Jones DNA. She both hopes and doesn’t hope that Ada is going to develop one.

“Hello, little brother.”

“It’s younger, you ponce,” Killian laughs, walking toward Liam and grabbing his hand to pull him up off the ground so that they can wrap their arms around each other in what has to be the tightest embrace she’s ever seen.

She can feel the tears stinging behind her eyes, a sob catching in her throat as she furiously blinks to try to keep herself together. She knows that Belle is doing the same thing. Liam isn’t without his own set of issues. He’s far too protective and a little judgmental at times, but it’s because he loves Killian so damn much. They’ve been through so much together, fought through so much, and even though she knows that she and David have a close bond, it’s nothing like this.

All she wants is for Killian to be happy, and she’s glad that he is.

When they pull back from each other, Killian immediately moves to hug Belle, smothering her a little less, before he’s coming over to greet she and Ada. It’s so different than this morning and yet so similar as Killian slants his lips over hers in a kiss that’s a bit deeper than their usual greeting.

Not that she’s complaining.

The rest of the evening the house is full of the gentle roar of conversation and of laughter as everyone catches up and entertains all of Henry’s stories and suggestions. He’s definitely loving all of the attention, and after Neal texts to say that he’s going out to dinner with one of his support group friends, they all decide that a formal dinner at the dining room table is unnecessary when they can have pizza under Henry’s magnificent fort with the dull glow of Christmas lights reflecting through the sheets.

Even after Liam and Belle excuse themselves early to go to their hotel, taking a cab instead of having one of them drive them there, the four of them stay under the fort. It’s going to kill Killian’s back, but she doesn’t think he minds as he reads one of the Nancy Drew books to Henry. She’s not sure which one in the series they’re on now, but Henry is absolutely in love with them and is always trying to figure out who committed the crime before they’re even a quarter of the way into the story. She knows that they’re a little on the mature side, but Killian always skims ahead to make sure things are okay first.

Ada lets out a loud gurgle when Killian is in the middle of a sentence, and it stuns them into silence as she stretches out over Emma to claw at Killian’s face, grabbing onto his lips and tugging.

“Ada, my love, I know Daddy talks a lot, but I don’t think that’s any reason for you to try to rip my lips off.”

She giggles at that, as if she knows what Killian is saying, and until Henry falls asleep, Killian multitasks by trying to read to one kid while the other adamantly refuses to let him. It’s complicated, but it’s nothing they’re not used to.

She’s glad for it.

“I don’t want to move him,” she whispers to Killian as Henry sleeps on the pillows next to her, his body curled into a small ball while she’s wrapped around Killian’s waist with her right leg stuck between his thighs, Ada sleeping on top of his chest.

“He’s eight. Sleeping on the floor won’t kill him, so I say that we let him.”

“Do we have to sleep here with him?”

Killian hums next to her, and she can feel his arm move underneath her head before his hand starts tugging on her hair. “I won’t be able to move until the new year, so most likely not. Plus, we’ve got to get our little lady into her crib.”

“True.” She cranes her neck up to quickly brush her lips against his jaw. “Are you happy that Liam and Belle are here?”

“Beyond. I don’t – I don’t have the words. I feel like we’re finally getting back on track.”

“You still feel like that even though we’re going to have to clean this up in the morning?”

“Swan, believe it or not, I’m beyond thrilled that there’s a mess in this living room. You and Henry and all of us have so much going on right now and in the future and I…it’s nice to have little moments like this.”

She reaches up to caress his face, running her fingers over his beard as the familiar tears sting behind her eyes. She thinks she can see them in Killian’s as well, but it’s difficult to tell in the darkness.

“I love you, you old sap.”

“And I you.”

#rising from the ashes #captain swan fic #cs fic #cs ff

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a-little-international · 5 years ago

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The Height Of Summer (9)

Summary: She’s a whirling dervish, and he’s trying his best to keep up.

Warnings: some angst and some fluff, what else is new.

Words: 3327

A/N: sorry for the long delay - i graduated uni and started working full time in the world’s most soul sucking corporate job that drained me of all inspiration and joy. Don’t worry though, i quit it without having anything else lined up (i’m v v worried lmao). Anyway, here’s some stuff.

The Series: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10

Chapter 9 - Summer

“No, listen, hear me out - what I think we really need is Netflix or HBO to get on making a full Harry Potter show. Just throw a bunch of money at it, make a bunch of seasons, follow the books with absolute anal precision -”

“Aw, Jack, why’d you have to say it like that!” Paige exclaimed, throwing the pillow she’d been leaning against, at Jackson’s head.

“I absolutely agree,” Shawn said sincerely, cradling his guitar on his thighs with his fingers hovering over the strings, “give it the Game of Thrones treatment - could you imagine? I’d never watch anything ever again.

“You gotta pull some of your Hollywood strings, Shawnie,” Eli laughed, throwing a wink at Shawn.

“I’ll make sure to get my people on it,” Shawn winked back.

Summer smiled as she leaned her head back against his knee, basking in the laughter and chatter between her friends. They had all piled into her room after getting back from the picnic, all sunburnt and in good spirits. Paige, Molly and Eli had spread themselves out on her bed, Jackson was sitting in the alcove of her window, Shawn was lounging in the armchair next to her bed, and Maya was sitting curled up on Lewis’s lap on the other armchair. Summer, ever the generous hostess, had opted for the floor in front of Shawn. She rather enjoyed her position, as it allowed her to affectionately lean her head back against him, and she was almost certain she felt his fingers play with her hair absentmindedly when the others were talking, and nobody was looking their way.

“Okay but the most important question is what house everyone is in,” Lewis piped up, which was met with excited exclamations and laughter.

“I don’t think I even know what the houses are,” Molly said, pulling a face.

“I don’t either, babe,” Maya laughed in solidarity.

Lewis looked at his girlfriend with abject horror scrawled on his face, “Right,” he said matter-of-factly, “that’s it, we’re breaking up,” as he pretended to push her off his legs, catching her from falling at the last minute and pulling her back into him. Looking at them made Summer wish she could relocate into Shawn’s lap and wrap her arms around his neck and press her face against his.

“Well I’m definitely a Slytherin,” Paige said proudly, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t we know it,” Jackson laughed, grinning as he rolled his eyes.

A sharp tap against the window pane sliced through the chatter and laughter, and the group exchanged confused looks with each other.

“Did you hear that?” Eli asked, brows furrowed.

“Is it raining?” Summer replied, looking at Jackson who was sitting in the alcove, his figure outlined by the dimming evening light.

Jackson craned his neck upwards to look for clouds when another sharp rap against the window rang out, and his head snapped downwards immediately. There was a pregnant pause as his hand came up to cup around his face to help him see out better, and then, “Um...Summer, you might want to go down.”

“What?” She replied, frowning, but her gut was starting to twist itself in knots as suspicion krept up on her.

Jackson turned around to look at her, and she didn’t miss the way his eyes darted to look at Shawn for a second, before returning to hers. In the beats of silence that passed, the tension she was radiating seemed to become palpable and she wished with her entire heart that he wasn’t about to say what she thought he was about to say.

“It’s Jesse, he’s downstairs,” Jackson said, stabbing into the anticipatory tension, and then, as if it couldn’t possible get any worse, he added, “throwing rocks at your window”.

A shiver ran up her spine and she was suddenly extremely aware that all eyes were on her, but most of all that Shawn’s eyes were on her and the feeling of her side resting against his legs suddenly seemed hard and uncomfortable and it made her feel sick. Jesse used to throw rocks at her window as a romantic thing, it was their little inside joke, to make her feel like she was in some sappy romance film. It was a rock thrown at her window during a weekend away at the cabins that had first brought them together, under the veil of darkness and shrouded in the secrecy of being with her brother’s best friend. It was the sign that they could be together, just the two of them, and sneak away from the company of others. And now here he was throwing rocks at her window when she thought they had found some closure that same morning in the kitchen.

She wasn’t brave enough to look at Shawn as she stood up, confusion and shame and anger and anxiety all fighting for dominance in her stomach.

“I”ll be right back,” she said as she slipped out of her bedroom door, stopping to take a big breath in the hallway as she closed it behind her. She could hear the faint exchange of whispers amongst her friendship group and she wondered what they were saying, but most of all she wished she knew was Shawn was thinking.

Trying to sort out her inner thoughts and figure out what he wanted and what she could say to Jesse, Summer slowly descended the stairs and excited the cabin. She found him kicking at the dry grass and dirt below her window, the same way she had found him on countless other nights just like this one and she couldn’t help that her heart clenched a little at the sight. Glancing up to her window, she saw her friends peering down at her and Jesse, but Shawn didn’t seem to be with them.

“Hey.” She said, pulling the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands. “What’s up?”

Jesse looked up at her and shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with another small stone he was holding, “Hey, sorry about-” he said, showing her the rock, “I just wanted to talk but I didn’t want to barge in, when I saw Jack in the window I figured you had your friends round and stuff.”

“So you thought the best solution was to throw rocks at my window?” Summer hissed at him, crossing her arms.

Jesse shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s just the first thing I thought of.”

Summer rubbed her hands over her face in frustration, “What could you possibly want to talk about now, you already barged in at the crack of dawn this morning to have a conversation and I thought we said what needed to be said but now you’re throwing rocks at my window like nothing ever changed between us.”

“I guess for me it just doesn’t feel like that much has changed.”

“Jesse you broke up with me two years ago. You did, not me. You don’t get to-”

“No hear me out,” Jesse interrupted her as he took a step forward. “You know I still love and miss you, I told you as much this morning, and I get that this is all my fault and by God am I happy you’re happy and doing well, which is why I just wanted to make clear that I am doing well too and I hope someday soon I will be okay with what I did to us, to you. But I want you to be happy because I still love you.”

“Jesse…”

“No listen, please, I was watching you all day today and I get it now. You’re happier now, happier than you ever were with me I think.”

“Jesse, come on now, that’s not true,” Summer said softly, taking a step towards him, wanting to comfort him and those sad ocean-blue eyes she had loved so much for so long.

“ I think it is, though. You and Shawn - you never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.”

There was a long pause where Summer tried her best to process what he had just said to her, and then she remembered how happy she had been with Jesse and tried to compare it to how she felt around Shawn, and she struggled. They were two completely different things, two completely different boys - men, in fact - and also two completely different Summers.

She swallowed, her heart breaking for Jesse, even though he had been the one to break hers. “I don’t…” She struggled to find the words to explain how she was feeling, especially how she was feeling in regards to Shawn, and to find the words that wouldn’t cause any more hurt than necessary. “Shawn and I...well I don’t exactly know what we are at the moment, but I don’t want you thinking you didn’t make me happy Jess.”

She saw him swallow as he looked away into the darkening forest, his fingers still fiddling with the little black rock like it was a poker chip. “I hope I did make you happy, Sunny,” he said quietly, hesitantly using his nickname for her for the first time since the breakup. “But it’s not about happiness, I can’t explain it really, it’s just different the way you look at him. It’s like you are the sun and he is the moon.”

“That is so cheesy,” Summer said, closing her eyes as she tried to repress a smile.

Jesse laughed quietly, dropping his head, “I know,” he said, shrugging, “I just don’t know how to explain it. You just light up in a way you never really did with me.”

“But I loved you,” Summer said, suddenly feeling a little offended, as if he was undermining how much she had been in loved with him. She had always felt she had given her all to Jesse, thrown herself into everything they were together, and here he was standing in front of her telling her she looked more in love with someone she had known for hardly any time at all compared to how long they had been together.

“I know you did,” Jesse replied quickly, reading his hand out as if to touch her, but then pulled it back as if he thought better of it. “And I always felt that, your love, and I felt how much I hurt you when I did. But I mean when you’re with him...it just looks different, I don’t know, it looks right.”

“Right?” Summer frowned at him. She knew he meant well but he was also digging himself into a hole that she didn’t much appreciate. “So you think we didn’t look right?”

She knew she shouldn’t have said that as she watched Jesse’s face fall. In her heart she knew what he had meant, but it still grated on her and she couldn’t help herself.

“No, of course I think we did I just, what I mean is, if that you look really complete when you’re with him.”

And there he went again, digging himself into that hole she really wished he wouldn’t. Summer’s eyebrows flew up and before she knew what she was saying, the words had already left her mouth in a hushed rage, “Jesse Sullivan if you think I need a man to complete me, or try to imply in any way that I am in some may incomplete or broken then you have a new thing coming.”

“Of course not, come on Sunny, please you’ve got to know what I mean. All I’m trying to say is that I won’t try and interfere or win you back or do all the things I really want to do because I can see that I can’t compare anymore and that is alright, and I will be alright.”

Summer took a deep breath, her frustrations deflating with each word he spoke. “And will we be alright?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Yeah, I think we will.” Jesse responded softly, tentatively pulling her into his chest and Summer allowed her arms to wrap around his broad frame as he rested his chin on top of her head.

She breathed into the hug, noting how he still smelled like the same Axe body spray he’d used when he was fifteen years old and half a foot shorter. Some things would never change, but one thing that had was that instead of craving his familiar smell, she now longed for the subtle scent of Shawn’s cologne and spearmint gum. Turning her head to the side, she moved her eyes up to her bedroom window, but found it empty with the lights turned off. She wondered if Shawn had ever come to the window, or if he had left her and Jesse alone once again. She felt Jesse press a kiss against the top of her head and she knew it was time to part, more certain than ever that it wasn’t his arms she wanted to be held by.

---

As predicted, her room was deserted when she returned, her hands still balled up nervously into her sleeves. She looked at the armchair that Shawn had been sitting in and swallowed. Slowly she backed out of her room, closed the door quietly behind her and walked to the end of the hallway where she stood outside of Shawn’s room once again. This time, unlike the night before, Summer knocked. It was soft but sure and she hoped more than anything that he would be there to open it and welcome her in.

A split second later the door swung open, as if he had been standing waiting for her on the other side.

“Are you alright?” he asked, and Summer lunged forward, wrapping her arms around him. “Hey…” he said softly, returning the hug and pulling her into the room, kicking the door closed behind her, “Hey, are you alright?”

Summer nodded against his chest, eyes closed tightly as she tried to hold back tears. She didn’t even know why she was one kind word away from bursting into tears, but she was so glad that he was there to open that door for her, to pull her in and to hold her. That faint smell of his cologne, that she had become so fond of from the first time she sat on his lap at the house party that seemed a million worlds away now, filled her brain and wove its way around her heart.

Before she knew it, Shawn was sitting on the bed with her cradled in his arms like a small child, her arms still wrapped around him and her face pushed into the crook of his neck. The faint sound of the crickets chirping outside and Shawn’s steady breathing were the only things Summer could hear and it felt like they were the only two people in the world.

“What happened?” Shawn finally asked, breaking the silence. He sounded hesitant and tense, like he was worried about the kind of answer she would give him and not for the first time did Summer feel guilty for pulling him into this situation.

She shrugged, pulling away to look at him, “Nothing really. He just wanted to make clear where we stood.”

“And where do you stand?” There was that tense anticipation in his voice again, and it made her heart rate pick up.

Summer forced herself not to break eye contact with Shawn, her dark blue eyes meeting his brown ones, darker than ever now that the sun had finally set and the only thing illuminating the room was the pale glow of the moon.

“He’s not going to try and get back together, he wants me to be happy...he’s happy for us.” Summer replied, the last part barely over an audible whisper, unsure of what Shawn’s response would be. It was once again another implication of what they were, when that had never really been established, both of them knowing how different their lives really were away from the cabins and in the reality of their respective careers.

“We’re an us?” Shawn asked, leaning back against the headboard, his hands slipping down to her hips.

It wasn’t exactly the response she’d been hoping for, there was no big smile or a passionate kiss, only a question. Summer swallowed, it was now or never. This conversation was bound to happen, the alternative was leaving it a forever open-ended question mark that would eventually allow them to drift apart without explanation or commitment. “I’m happy for there to be an us if you want there to be an us,” she said, sending the ball back into his court as she held her breath for his response. Her heart was beating so fast she was worried he’d be able to feel it.

Shawn just looked at her for a long time, which did nothing to calm her nerves, but his hands stayed on her hips and she thought that that at the very least was a good sign.

Finally, one hand lifted as he ran it through his thick hair, and Summer didn’t dare move an inch for fear of interrupting his contemplation. “Um,” Shawn started, barely looking at her anymore and her heart started to drop into the pit of her stomach. Suddenly she wished she’d allowed the question mark to keep hovering for a little while longer. “I would like there to be an us,” Shawn said, but Summer felt the inaudible pressure of a ‘but’ hovering between them.

She looked at him and wanted nothing more than to reach up and touch his cheek, slightly flushed from sunburn or stress she couldn’t tell. She wanted to kiss him, to erase the tension and show him how good an ‘us’ could be, but still she didn’t dare move. The hand remaining on her hip gave it a light squeeze and she couldn’t tell if it was accidental or not.

“But it’s going to be hard,” he finally said, looking at her again with worry etched across his face. “It’s going to be so hard on you,” he went on, “so much harder on you than it will be on me I think and I don’t know if I can do that to you.” Shawn bit down on his lip and Summer felt the beginnings of tears sting at her eyes once more.

“I’m a big girl I think I can handle it,” Summer replied, trying her best to keep the tremble she felt in her throat to leak into her words.

“You’re very small,” Shawn laughed, moving both of his hands up to her waist and giving her a very purposeful squeeze, “but I’ll believe you can handle it if you say so.”

And with that her heart swelled three sizes and she returned his wide grin, balling the fabric of the hoodie he was wearing into her fists excitedly. Shawn leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against hers and it was like a whole new box of fireworks was let loose in her stomach all over again. It was only short and sweet, but it was perfect, and when he pulled away it was so minimal that their proximity remained intimate, his nose pressed against hers, his lips brushing hers, his spearmint breath against her. “Summer?”

“Hmm,” she hummed contentedly, closing her eyes to hold onto the moment between them and the feeling of his hands on her and his gentle voice cradling her name.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?” -

TAGLIST (lemme know if you want to be added!)

@crownedbyluke @24kcalum @divergentseagreengirl @carlaimberlain @5sosle @vnv21 @sayingloveat2am @tougherinrain @esmaaaa8

#c writes #my writing #Shawn Mendes #Shawn #Mendes #Shawn Mendes fanfiction #Shawn Mendes fic #Shawn Mendes fanfic #Shawn Mendes #imagine #Shawn imagine #Shawn Mendes fluff #Shawn fluff #Shawn Mendes angst #Shawn angst #Shawn Mendes romance #Shawn romance #the height of summer #the height of summer chapter 9

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chogiwank · 6 years ago

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Milkshake Boy - Art Student! Renjun AU [Part 2]

part 1, part 3 [ in progress]

**a/n: repost bc something went wrong**

Pairing: Art Student!Renjun x Art Student!Female Reader

Summary: Y/N is new in town and works at an Arts Shop which old ladies, teachers and parents picking up supplies for their children mostly visit, and a cute boy who comes by every day. Having an accidental encounter with the boy they develop a friendship and a love of milkshakes, art and of course each other. Because what is even a love story if they don’t fall for each other with cheesy shit involved

Summer was ending and I hadn’t seen Renjun, you know the milkshake boy who visits the Arts Shop I work at every day? He came for three days but for two weeks he was nowhere in sight, still with five days left I had no idea for his whereabouts. I never got his number or email - do people still do that? I’m not sure but hey it would’ve been better than nothing.

Some days I took the night shift, others I took the morning in hopes of seeing him, but sadly I didn’t. Was I getting my hopes up too much? Did I misread the situation that happened that day? He was probably like that to everyone, maybe I was just being delusional - desperate to have someone whether it be a friend or a love interest, anyone at all really - to be accepted in a foreign place. I probably was and that’s my own fault, a hopeless romantic.

Today was my last day at work, it was around 6:30 in the evening I decided to stroll through the park instead of heading straight home. Sitting on the bench placed under a tree which tiny white flowers bloomed on, I took in the beauty of the park - a path set for walks and jogs, a playground for the children which I oh so badly wanted to play in, and a splash pad which was open on the hot days of summer. Many people already left the park to return home for dinner and a good night’s rest leaving the park silent with bird chirps now and again.

Feeling my stomach growl from hunger I abandoned my place on the bench and began to walk to my apartment until I felt a push and fell face first my head hitting the hard ground and elbow scrapping against the pavement, someone’s body weight on my back. A wince leaving my mouth from the sudden fall and hit.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!” And there I heard it, a familiar voice. “Here let me help you up.”

The boy helped me up off the ground standing onto my feet, I looked up at the so-called stranger and smiled at him,

“Wow look who bumped into me, again.” I teased. “We really have to stop meeting like this.”

The two of us burst into laughter from the comment.

“Hi y/n” He flashed a bright smile. “Nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, nice to see you again after ditching me for two weeks, Renjun.” I playfully pushed him with a teasing smile.

“Okay first off, I know that was probably really bad but…” he trailed off, I raised my eyebrows. “It wasn’t my fault, my parents planned a trip to Hong Kong and I couldn’t make it to the shop to tell you! It was last minute I’m so sorry!”

Letting out a sigh I accepted his apology, “it’s cool don’t worry about it, but you owe.” I smirked, “you got to make it up to me for the time we lost.”

“Well, how can I do that?” He cocked his brow.

“That’s up to you.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“I have an idea!” I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows at him. “Let’s go to this cafe!” He exclaimed excitedly.

“Cafe?”

“Yeah it’s nearby we can go right now if you have time.” His eyes lit up a look of hope that I might just join him, and of course, I did. The walk wasn’t that long like he said, maybe around 5 minutes? And it wasn’t far from my apartment either estimating only 10 minutes.

“I’m pretty surprised I never found this place before.” I looked around the cafe, it wasn’t much but it was very pretty with beautiful decor around the room, paper stars hung from the ceiling, a couple of round tables set up with chairs and a neon sign on the wall with the text: “Don’t Kill My Vibe”

“Well many people don’t know it since it’s so small you know.”

“Yeah, but that’s a shame it’s really so pretty.”

“Tell me about it, it’s also a shame because they have such good milkshakes.”

“Ahh, so this is where you get your daily milkshake?” I teasingly asked him.

“Oh, what’re you a stalker?” He chuckled.

“Kind of hard for me to not notice when you come in the store every day, sit in the same spot and drink the same thing right in front of the counter.”

“Hmm fair point.” He clicked his tongue and let out a laugh, wow I missed it so much - it was so pretty, such music to my ears. “Now would you like anything to drink? Milkshake? Coffee?”

“Milkshake, please!” I flashed a smile. “A [your favourite flavour] one!”

“Coming right up.” He said placing our order at the counter. “Take a seat I’ll bring the drinks.” I nodded finding a comfortable seat at one of the tables. In no time the milkshakes were made and Renjun brought them over to our table sitting across from me.

Renjun talked about his trip to Hong Kong - visiting in his grandparents and going on a boat ride, he told me about eating the food at a restaurant, a really expensive one but it had tiny servings so by the end he was still starving and came home shoving a bunch of Cheetos down his throat. I laughed at that, he was cute and funny. His voice was so nice to listen to, I didn’t want him to stop, I continued the conversation and we talked and talked on many different topics and in all honesty, we had a lot in common. I was glad we did, and he didn’t seem like a total dick yet so it was pretty much a win.

The clock ticked as my phone rang, halting our conversation I excused myself receiving a call from my mom, I checked the time and it was oh my goodness, 7:45 PM. I apologized and told her I was on my way home, rushing over to Renjun and wishing him goodbye.

“Wait, why don’t I walk you?” He asked.

“What?”

“Walk you home.” He flashed a bright smile. “I’ll walk you back to your place.”

I blushed at his offer. “Walk me? Don’t you have to get to your place?”

He nodded in response. “Yes I do but my place is at most 10 minutes away from yours.”

“Really?” He lived so close.

“Yeah, of course, let’s go!” He cheerfully got up from his chair throwing his and I’s empty cups in the trash, gesturing me to walk out. “Ladies first.” I curtsied and walked out of the cafe with him trailing along beside me. Walking past the park the sun was setting turning the sky into colours of pink and purple, the clouds calm and white in different shapes as we continued our non-sense conversations with giggles and admiring the beauty of the current scenery.

Arriving outside my apartment I thanked him for tagging along.

“It’s not a big deal really, plus…” he scratched the back of his neck. “I kind of owe you for bumping into you twice and uh making your head smash to the ground.”

We both laughed at the situation, “it’s true you do, also considering I have a big bump on my head now.” He cocked an eyebrow. “And unlike a pimple, I can’t pop it.”

“Sorry.” He giggled. “You still look cute though.”

“I look what?” He looked up surprised from his slip up. “Can you repeat that?”

“Uhh…” Renjun nervously fiddled with his thumbs. “You look fine, it’ll go away just apply some ice on it.”

“Yeah okay, but I meant the other thing,” I smirked teasing him.

“W-what other thing?” He stammered.

“Hmm c’mon don’t-“ he cut me off saying a goodbye and running off home.

“Sorry, I’m late! I’ll catch up with you soon!” And with that, he left once again and I Well kind of felt…sad? I guess you could say that. It could be because I’m probably liking him a little bit, but also since I’m not good at saying goodbyes, every time I hang out with someone and they leave I feel a deep hole in my chest. I feel empty. I don’t know why it’s just upsetting for me to say goodbyes no matter how little or big.

Returning back home I apologized to my mom for being late, telling her I got held up in work. Giving her a kiss on her forehead I continued to my room closing the door behind me. Changing into an old shirt and a pair of shorts I brushed my teeth and washed up preparing for bed. Plopping onto my bed I hugged my pillow tight and squealed into it remembering Renjun’s slip up. He thinks I’m cute? He really thinks I’m cute, does this mean he’s interested in me? I don’t know, I’m not sure. Maybe it’s like me, he’s just figuring out his feelings - yeah that’s it most likely. But wow, he called me cute. I felt my heart do ten backflips out of joy and oh boy that was probably the best sleep I had in a while.

a/n: I apologize for this being a little bit short but I’ll be making a part 3 as soon as possible bc it looks like you guys are enjoying it !! (^_^) I’m so so glad and thank you for the feedback and support guys !! I love you I’ll be updating soon !! - Doyoung’s Darling

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secretradiobrooklyn · 4 years ago

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SECRET RADIO | 11.14.20

Secret Radio | 11.14.20 | Hear it here.

Artwork by Paige, liner notes by Evan except * for Paige

1. The Wizard of Oz - “Ding Dong” Suite

We were looking for a proper song to get this party started, and damned if it didn’t involve a bunch of delighted munchkins! As much as our hopes for the coming years are muted, the relief at not having to contend with a headlong dictator enjoying full-on democratic support just cannot be overstated. DING DONG Y’ALL!

2. David Bowie - “Look Back in Anger”

I’ve been practicing drums a ton during the pandemic, and I just realized that I’m going to have to spend some time trying to get at this pattern. It’s some of my favorite drumming ever, from one of my top 20 albums ever. In fact, this comes from a very special edition of Lodger, via Brian McClelland, wherein Tony Visconti took the original tapes and completely remixed the album as he always felt it should have been mixed if they weren’t be rushed. To someone who has listened to that record many many times, it sounds like I’ve been next door the album all this time, and I’m finally allowed into the room where it’s playing. So clear and focused and modern!

3. Frank Alamo - “Ma Biche”

A “biche” is a doe, we believe. “It’s something about ‘pretty eyes,’” Paige says, “which would make sense.” Further research, though, reveals that the song is about how much he likes her pretty dark eyeliner. I know the feeling!

4. (Not) Rom JongVak - “Monkey”

Well, this has been a learning process. There’s this great song that I thought was called “Twist (Dance Twist)” by Rom Jong Vak, that we played like a month ago — and then tonight I thought I was playing “Monkey,” by Rom JongVak. Buuut, as I look further, I’m learning that the first song was “Rom Jong Vak Twist,” by Pan Ron… And the song here is I guess called “Rom Jong Vak Monkey,” and I have no idea who it’s by! All of the text on the page is in just boxes where Cambodian text would go, so it’s bound to remain lost. Whoever it is, I sure do enjoy that first aggressive drum fill and the whole weird texture of this recording.

5. Luiz Visconde - “Chofer de Praça”

Paige: “The first times that I listened to this Angolan collection, I really just listened to Os Kiezos, because they did “Muxima.” But then I eventually spread out and found this song. It’s from Angola, between ’65 and ’75.”

6. The Velvet Underground - “European Son”

P: We would go to the Beechwood a little bar around the corner from us in Wicker Park, down the street off Milwaukee Avenue. They had a real jukebox, not a TuneBlast or whatever. It was just a great little dive. They had this record in the jukebox, and we would always put on this song. I suppose that could have been read as an aggressive thing to do, but we’d put on other songs too! It was a good way to stretch your quarters, and it loosens the bar up. And I figured, if they didn’t like this song they wouldn’t put it in the jukebox.

Once when we were there on a busy weekend night, something was wrong with the jukebox. It was broken. And the bartender opened it up and put like a hundred bucks on it and said, “Everybody play whatever you want, three songs each. It was awesome. Everybody did take turns too, three songs each, all around the bar. It was a really cool night.

7. Fred Astaire - “No Strings (I’m Fancy Free)”

What a lovely piano intro! This song is from the 1935 film “Top Hat.” It’s one of those movies where the clever protagonist pursues a girl he has a crush on — or terrorizes a stranger until she submits to his will, depending on whose perspective you take. There are a lot of those — “An American in Paris” is another — and they’re fascinating to watch just by flipping that switch back and forth in your own head. Meanwhile, both movies are chock full of beautiful shots, fabulous scenes, gorgeous songs, and glowing stars.

Something about the quality of this recording — a new master or something? — makes it sound like it was JUST recorded. It feels so alive and contemporary, with a lovely little vibrophone solo in the middle. I just

Martial Solal, “Breathless” soundtrack - “L’amour, la mort”

Note: I remember this story in the reverse, where the truckers announced this gleefully to each other as they marched merrily OUT the door and into the late afternoon, headed towards… what? Whatever it is, I hope they found it and everyone had a great time.

8. Johnny Hallyday - “Nous quand on s’embrasse”

Have you seen “The Wild One”? Can’t you see how much trouble could have been avoided if those leathered-up motorcycle dudes were able to rock out to songs like this one instead of trying to jazz their way forward? They should have been twisting the night away! Alas, instead they had to tear up bars and beat people up to get their kicks. Tough break, kid.

9. Lokassa Ya M’bongo - “Bonne année”

I found this while searching for something else, but it was labeled “l’Instant Vinyl” in the same format as our Assa-Cica record, so had to check it out. M’bongo is a Congolese guitarist — a rhythm guitarist specifically, which doesn’t normally get the love that lead guitar gets in this soukous form. Lokassa Ya M’bongo means “Lokassa the money man,” and he became a session man in demand. He was a big part of the “Congolo-Paris sound,” a phrase I just read that I’m going to have to look more into.

Bonne année indeed! Still feeling that relief about hopefully getting out from under the thumb of that giant dummy.

10. Velly Joonas - “Stopp, Seisku Aeg!”

The image of Velly Joonas is pretty heart-stopping: she’s absolutely beautiful, in giant glasses and a striped shirt. The song is so confident and strange in its instrumentation, with keys, organ, fiddle, and a super-tight bass/drum combo. I feel like this could have been a big US underground hit in the ‘90s.

11. Eko Roosevelt - “Kilimandjaro”

Such a sincere song! Eko Roosevelt is kind of hit and miss with me, but when they hit, they get completely stuck in my head! The horn parts on “Me To a De Try My Own” do that to me, and so does the eternal chorus of this song. I love the notes in the bridge as they drop further and further down the scale like they’re descending from the mountaintop. And when he gets to the declarations of love at the end — “I love you, my home! I really do, I really do!” — that’s it, that’s the best.

12. Tonetta - “Yummy Yummy Pizza”

I warn you: look up this video (after you listen to the “broadcast” of course) at your own peril. Not because it’s terrible, but because it is fascinating, and it is just one of SO many. They tease you with tiny shreds of information about this Tonetta person, but never enough that you can get a sense of what the hell is going on with… him? Them? Maybe ask Matt and Brian from Tok about it — they got obsessed enough to record an EP of Tonetta songs, which is how I heard about this all in the first place.

13. Prewar Yardsale - “AU Base”

Paige: I was loading a five-disc changer at Jeffrey’s and something about the cover, the name sounded interesting. I put it on and it’s pretty freakin rad. It stood up to my blind listen expectations. I think this is produced by our friend Matt Mason.

14. Eugenius - “Mary Queen of Scots”

Matt Mason and Jeffrey Lewis make me think of Schwervon!, which makes me think of the Vaselines who they toured with several times, and that brings me to Eugenius, headed by Eugene Kelly. This was a mainstay in Sean’s room when we all lived together, singing the harmonies and air-drumming along. It remains as satisfying as ever, I’m happy to say.

15. Wednesday Campanella - “Aladdin”

This song is sung in Japanese, not that you’d know from context clues. Tim Gebauer introduced us to this strange Japanese shapeshifter. It was hard to tell if I liked her music or was just amazed by her videos (which you should totally check out). Now I believe it’s safe to say we dig this song. I like how many elements of ‘70s international disco it has, while still sounding super modern. What is weirder to me is that I cannot tell if I would like this song if it was sung in English.

Breathless soundtrack

16. Letti Mbulu - “Mahlalela”

Originally South African, Mbulu managed to escape to the US in 1965 and had a hell of a career. She worked with Cannonball Adderley, Hugh Masakela, Harry Belafonte and Michael Jackson. Quincy Jones said this amazing thing about her: “Mbulu is the roots lady, projecting a sophistication and warmth which stirs hope for attaining pure love, beauty, and unity in the world.” Um, that’s really impressive.

17. Christophe - “Aline”

*Really dig this song, partially I think because it’s in a decent range for me to sing along. I love his desperate delivery and tone of voice. We just learned tonight that Christophe passed away this year at 74 after complications with COVID-19.

18. Zap Mama - “Brrlak!”

Credit to my dad, Larry Sult, for bringing Zap Mama to our attention. He’s been heavily into marimba music, and played in a marimba band in Bellingham for many years; in fact, he spent many years making the instruments for the band in his woodshop in the basement of their home. Zap Mama is adjacent to that music, though certainly very different. This band comes from all over the world. The main gal was born in &&&&& but found herself in a Pygmy society for awhile, which seems to be where she developed some of those low-high yodels. We saw some footage of her playing, and she did this awesome thing where she held empty airplane bottles just below her lips as she sang, creating a resonance that you can hear here. I love that this whole composition is a cappella.

19. The Buzzards - “High Society”

Years ago, I was whiling away my time in Seattle and stopped into Orpheum Records, right there at the corner where Broadway turns into 10th Ave E. After a half hour of flipping through records I had to know what all the killer albums were that had been playing overhead. Turns out they were all from “The Sympathetic Sounds of Detroit,” a collection of Detroit bands put out by Sympathy for the Record Industry. It was recorded by Jack White and Jim Diamond and it’s full of topshelf tracks, but after all the years, this is the one that we turn out to actually enjoy, and quote, the most.

As far as I could tell, there isn’t a version of this song anywhere online, which I personally find disGRACEful!

20. Sleepy Kitty - “Buzzards & Dreadful Crows”

My favorite part of this recording is that I got to sing a couple of guitar parts that I reflexively sing along to on the original.

*This was from a 20th anniversary of “Bee Thousand” tribute show, and we made this recording with Jason Hutto at this studio off Cherokee Street and we recorded a couple others that we did that night. A small run of screenprinted downloads were made.

Teddy Afro, “Mar Eske Tuwa” credit music

21. Ata Kak - “Moma Yendodo”

Some corrections to what I said in the broadcast: Ata Kak is indeed Ghanian, but I think he might have recorded this in Germany. His is a fascinating little story of determination. This recording comes from a tape that he made about 50 copies of total. It was found by Brian from Awesome Tapes From Africa at a roadside stand in Ghana. He loved it so much that he spent years trying to track Ata Kak down. When he finally did, they found that the original master tapes were all ruined, and Brian’s copy was the only one that they could make a new version from! So that’s what you’re hearing here.

22. Spoon - “30 Gallon Tank”

Early Spoon is some of my favorite music ever. This is from “A Series of Sneaks,” an album that changed my life pretty much as soon as I heard it. Harvey Danger stopped at a lot of record stores on tour, and at one of them I managed to stumble upon both “A Series of Sneaks” and (I think) Guv’ner’s “Spectral Worship” — what a day! I put this album on in headphones in the van and just listened over and over and over again. Eventually, when our manager announced that we should spend a few weeks between radio festivals headlining a tour with a couple of support acts and asked if we had any ideas, I had a list with Spoon on top and Creeper Lagoon right below that. The tour that resulted was rough for Spoon — they’d just been dropped by their label and were having an understandably rough time — but a fucking thrill for me, because I got to see one of my favorite bands each night. That still stands as one of the absolute highlights of my time in Harvey Danger. Jim Eno is one of the top drummers in my pantheon because he’s such a great composer for the song, and Britt Daniels plays guitar the way I truly wish I did — which he did at the time all on distorted acoustic guitar!

23. Patrick Coutin - “Fais-moi jouir”

*I meant to put on a different Patrick Coutin song but put this one on by accident and I was like, this is cool, and then I was like “I think he’s saying. . .I think this is pretty. . . explicit. Like Serge and Jane cranked.” As far as I can tell, it definitely is. They don’t teach you these words on Duolingo though. Ha!

24. Dur Dur Band - “Yabaal”

I mean no disrespect to Dur Dur Band when I say that we didn’t dig the first several songs we heard by them, but this song is undeniable. The groove just digs in and doesn’t stop for anything.

25. Mel Brooks - “High Anxiety”

We’re stepping out on a mixed emotional note, but: we’re not out of the woods yet. I hope we can get through the next couple of months as a nation peacefully and productively, but Paige and I are both in a state of high anxiety about what still seems to be happening daily. Stay safe!

*yet staying optimistic! ’Cause we gotta. À plus tard!

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notarelationship · 8 years ago

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Size Isn’t Everything - 4/4

Summary: Kurt’s got a bit of a size-kink. Based on this prompt from the @prompt-a-klainefic blog. Chapter: 4/4 Read Chapter 1 here, Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here Words: ~4550 (this chapter) Warnings: I guess? PWP, Size kink,

Complete

Many thousand apologies (again) for the long delay in between chapters. Blink and weeks disappear. The final chapter should be up before the end of the week, and thanks for still reading!

forever thanks to @mshoneysucklepink for the beta!

Blaine woke the next morning with a serious case of dry-mouth and little recollection of what had happened the night before. He remembered playing the gig, and that it went well. He remembered applause and a decent sized crowd. Despite that, he knew he still didn’t want to join the band full time, no matter how many times Sam asked. (Okay good he remembered Sam asking again last night.) He remembered drinking a lot (too much), and his friends putting him into an Uber. He didn’t get sick in the car (but wasn’t so lucky once he got home).

He got up and stumbled into the bathroom, dry heaving a little once he got there, but that seemed to have run its course. Blaine normally wasn’t much of a drinker, so why did he drink so much last night? He splashed cold water on his face, wandering back to the kitchen for a glass of water and some Advil. He started a pot of coffee then went looking for his phone.

It hadn’t been on his bedside table or in the pocket of his pants from the night before. He finally found it under a pillow. When he thumbed it on, he discovered a bunch of drunken texts, obviously sent by him. Kurt. Images from the night before burst into his brain like a bad This is Your Life slideshow.

“Oh my god.”

He closed his eyes to stop from being sick again, sitting carefully on his bed. The contact name clearly said Kurt, although he couldn’t remember how he had gotten Kurt’s number. He definitely didn’t get it from Kurt, that much he thought he remembered.

After a few deep breaths Blaine worked up the courage to read through his text-adventure from the night before. It looked like he had only sent a few texts, but that didn’t make sending them any less mortifying. He wondered if Sam knew he had done it, then shook his head. He hadn’t even told Sam that Kurt had been there.

Kurt hadn’t texted back, but the texts were all marked ‘read.’ He could just let it go, pretend it never happened and stumble along until the next guy came around.

Blaine knew he’d never let himself do that. He should apologize, delete Kurt’s number, shower, find a new gym, and then move to another city. It was the only thing that made any sense. It would be a perfectly depressing end to their utter lack of a relationship. Blaine tried not to kick himself too hard for never getting his act together. Bracing himself for the worst (what would be the worst? Kurt responding or not responding?) and sent his apology.

:Kurt, I am so sorry. I apologize for sending these. I had a little more to drink than I normally do, and I don’t even know how I got your number.

:And I hope this is your number and not someone playing an elaborate prank on me. Although that would actually be less embarrassing.

:You can go back to forgetting I exist. I won’t bother you again.

That was all he could do.

It was Saturday, and Blaine didn't have anywhere to be, so after lingering in a hot shower, he put on some clean sweats and ordered a greasy hangover cure breakfast (which included a cheese and tomato omelette with a double side of sausage, pancakes, and a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich for later if he wasn't feeling better, or for dinner if he decided he didn't want to cook) from the diner down the street. Then he brought the entire pot of coffee with him to sit on the bed and watch TV. Saturday cartoons not being what they used to be, he settled on Animal Planet and a puppy show marathon while he waited.

He was dozing off when the buzzer rang, signaling the arrival of his food. His studio wasn't that big, and he could hear his phone buzzing with an incoming text while he paid the delivery guy.

“Sam,” he muttered to himself. Sam always wanted to go out on Saturday afternoon, but Blaine was too tired to even think about it today. The phone buzzed a few more times as he popped another Advil and got settled back on the bed. Not for the first time he wished his apartment was big enough for a couch and a bed.

Blaine picked up a sausage with his fingers, sucking a whole link into his mouth and chewing slowly. He needed the full medicinal effect of the greasy food on the alcohol still lingering in his bloodstream. He popped a second one in his mouth before wiping his hands on a napkin and checking his phone.

The texts weren't from Sam.

:Santana gave you my number :you don't owe me an apology, just :did you mean it?

Shit.

Blaine popped the lid on another container and, using a fork this time, ate half of the omelette while he considered what to do. The events of the previous evening (before he’d drunk too much) was starting to come back to him. Santana was Kurt’s roommate. He remembered being pretty shocked when he that found out.

He wasn't angry at Kurt (even if the implications of Sasha’s comments were true - and yeah he remembered that now too - because in all fairness, they'd been naked in a locker room, and Kurt wasn’t the first guy he’d impressed under those circumstances), he never had been, but he was definitely still nursing a little hurt that Kurt had disappeared like he did after the weeks they’d - what? They hadn’t dated, they weren’t seeing each other. But they had seen each other. It didn’t matter. Whatever it was, Blaine felt like it would probably help his own self esteem to know what happened. He could at least give himself that much. He finished his omelette and picked up his phone holding his breath while he typed.

:did I mean the apology? Yes of course.

:No, not that :about kissing me.

Blaine shook his head at the phone. He really needed to hide his phone when he drank. But if it was already out there -

:yes

Blaine waited eons for Kurt to respond, not quite sure what to expect.

:Blaine would you meet me for a cup of coffee? Or a drink? Or something? I’d really like to see you

He really hadn’t expected that. He remembered a lot of awkwardness last night. That’s why he got drunk - he hadn’t wanted to think about it, about how he’d let romance fantasies run away with him yet again.

:Sure, ok. Although I don’t think I’m going to want a drink for a while. I may have overdone it last night

:oh god, was that because of me? I’m sorry again :If you’re feeling up to it, are you free this afternoon? :i’m free from 4 on

It was almost noon.

:I don’t have any plans. Will you be anywhere near here? There’s a place on West 12th Street not too far - Java Jail. 5:00.

:Yes. Perfect. Thank you. I’ll see you then.

Blaine set an alarm on his phone for three o’clock, then sat back to finish his breakfast and watch more baby animals on television. He had planned to do laundry and clean his apartment later, but he had time for a nap now.

Kurt arrived at Java Jail early enough to grab an empty table, opting to wait for Blaine to show before getting coffee. He wasn’t exactly sure whether he was nervous or embarrassed, or nervous because he was embarrassed. He was adult enough and experienced enough not to freak out over hook-ups (anymore), and he had always prided himself on treating casual sexual encounters with respect, at least. He’d thought he’d been doing right by Blaine, but then it all ended in confusion, and running into Blaine had brought back up all of the guilty feelings he’d had. He really felt like he owed Blaine a real apology.

Kurt was still contemplating what and how much to say when he noticed a cue guy walk through the door of the coffee shop. He was about to check himself for noticing a cute guy when he was specifically there to meet a cute guy, when he realized it actually was his cute guy. Well not really his (not yet anyway, a little voice in the back of his head said). He waved at Blaine and took the opportunity to really look at him as he walked toward the table.

Blaine was dressed in bright cobalt blue chinos, and a classic white polo shirt that cut across his shoulders and biceps in a way Kurt found very distracting. A patterned yellow bow tie that matched his belt completed the ensemble. His hair was slicked down like it had been at the bar the night before. He looked nothing at all like he’d regularly looked after the gym, and Kurt was struck by how very much he didn’t know about Blaine Anderson.

“Hi Kurt.”

Blaine was a little breathless, as if he’d rushed to get there, and Kurt felt a momentary rush of memories of Blaine breathless for another reason. He hoped Blaine didn’t notice the flush he felt rising from his chest to his ears. Kurt stood to greet him, and they shared an awkward moment where neither of them could figure out if they were shaking hands or kissing cheeks, until Blaine gripped Kurt by the arms, and leaned in, brushing his lips across Kurt’s cheek. If Kurt had the capacity to swoon in that moment he’d have done it.

“Can I get you a coffee?” Kurt managed to say, after he collected himself. “I’m in dire need myself.”

Blaine smiled. “Okay. Just a medium drip, splash of milk one sugar.”

Kurt returned with their coffee and an extra large cookie covered with colorful sugared sprinkles.

“I wasn’t sure what you liked, but I figure cookies are usually safe. I thought we could share.” Blaine smiled and broke off a piece, popping it into his mouth.

Kurt fiddled with his coffee cup, his eyes not quite able to meet Blaine’s. He still hadn’t decided exactly how much he should tell Blaine, if he should admit that he’d actually prowled the gym for a look at his cock.

“You, um, you look nice,” Kurt started. Blaine raised an eyebrow. “Oh my god, that probably sounded terrible. I just mean I got so used to seeing you in sweats, I just - I realized that I really don’t know you at all and I have a terrible habit of babbling when I’m nervous and then my foot goes right into my mouth -”

“Kurt.” Blaine reached over and put a hand over Kurt’s nervous fingers.

“Blaine I’m so sorry,” Kurt blurted out.

“For what, exactly, are you apologizing?”

“What?”

“What are you apologizing for, Kurt? Because I have a feeling that you’re embarrassed about what Sasha said at the bar, but I’m not entirely sure why. Or, you might be apologizing for disappearing on me without so much as a post-it note?” Blaine’s face was neutral, definitely questioning.

Kurt was nodding the whole time. “Both. Yes. Sasha was way out of line - ”

“I really don’t care about what he said Kurt. We all have friends like that - ”

Kurt interrupted. “Okay, but I felt awful.”

Blaine took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “It doesn't - I was caught a little off guard, I guess. It was the last place I'd expected to run into you.” Blaine shrugged. “Post-hookup meeting is always awkward. And since I hadn't seen you in weeks I assumed - I don’t know what I assumed. It was just a little embarrassing.”

Kurt really had no interest in embarrassing Blaine at all, let alone any more than he seemed to be feeling.

“I got cast in a show,” Kurt said. “Off-Broadway. Just in the ensemble, but it’s a lot of dancing and that’s not my strongest area, so I have a lot of rehearsals, trying to keep up.”

“Kurt, that's very exciting; I didn't realize you were a performer.”

“I’m trying.” Kurt shrugged. “And they have producers coming to see us and I know they have Broadway aspirations for the show, so I don’t want to be the weak link that gets cut before they make the move.” Kurt realized he was babbling again and stopped when he noticed Blaine’s slightly confused expression. “Um, that's why I never went back to the gym.” He shrugged one shoulder and looked out the window. “I didn't mean to disappear like that. My schedule just got crazy.”

Blaine chuckled, leaning forward and resting his folded arms on the table. “Well, apology accepted.” He smiled and wow, he really did have the most irresistible eyes. “Kurt, since we’re sort of laying it all out at the moment, I - ” Blaine paused and looked downright bashful, and wasn’t that completely adorable. “I was surprised when I didn’t hear from you, and I was worried that my confession about having seen you at the gym before had, well, that I had scared you away.” He winced as he finished. “I’ve been told I can come on a little strong sometimes.”

“Oh, wow, Blaine, I - no. No, you definitely didn’t.” It was Kurt’s turn to laugh. “I was actually trying to figure out how to segue from hookup to asking you on a date. But every time I tried to come up with a smooth line I just felt like I was being presumptuous. I mean, who dates their gym hook-up, right?”

Blaine laughed out at that, and Kurt couldn’t help joining him.

“Yeah that’s, um - who does that?” Blaine was trying to play it off, but Kurt thought his expression was actually hopeful.

“We could do that, I mean, if you want?” Kurt asked. “I’d like to do that, if you’re interested?”

Blaine nodded, smiling. “I am.”

They spent another hour at the coffee shop, just talking. They were both interested in all the information they never shared with each other before, and to Kurt’s surprise and delight he discovered that he and Blaine had a lot in common aside from just their attraction to each other. Music, movies, New York City, and at least an interest in fashion (if not similar taste). When Blaine confessed to being a songwriter with his own designs on Broadway Kurt had to stop himself from proposing on the spot.

When they finally left the coffee shop Kurt followed Blaine out, wondering to himself how they could have been as intimate as they were without him noticing exactly what a nice ass Blaine had. He was laughing at himself when they reached the sidewalk outside.

“What’s so funny?” Blaine asked, smiling as Kurt shook his head.

“Nothing, I’m just an idiot.” Kurt bit his lip to keep from kissing Blaine right there.

Blaine disagreed with a smile, shaking his head and looking over Kurt’s shoulder for a moment, then asking, “Hey would you mind if we put this down as our first date?”

Kurt was sure his stomach did a back-flip. “Sure, why not? All things considered we have seen quite a bit of each other already.”

“Good.” Blaine took a half step closer, putting his left hand against Kurt’s chest, then sliding it up to his neck. Kurt gasped, lips already parted when Blaine leaned in to kiss him.

That time Kurt did swoon.

“Hi.” Kurt opened the door and Blaine leaned immediately in for a kiss, trying and failing not to turn it dirty right away.

Things developed from tentative to amazing in just a few weeks. Neither of them had pushed for sex - Blaine wasn't sure what was holding Kurt back, but Blaine knew that didn't want to ruin a potential something good by turning it back into just a regularly scheduled booty call arrangement, especially given their history of doing just that. That didn't mean they hadn't spent a few heated evenings together watching movies. They'd just both pulled back before things progressed too far.

But tonight Kurt had invited him over for dinner and had been very explicit about the fact that both of his roommates were out until the next day. Then he had been even more explicit about the things he'd planned to do with and to Blaine while they had the opportunity. Blaine was looking forward to it.

Kurt broke the kiss with a whine. “Come on,” he said, his voice rough as he took Blaine’s hand. “Let me show you around the apartment.”

It was a large loft space, with various shelves and curtains breaking up the space into room-like shapes. Blaine liked it, it seemed like the kind of place Kurt would live.

“Soooo, is privacy an issue with your roommates?” Blaine asked once they’d looped back into the kitchen area.

“Not at the moment. Rachel was seeing a guy for a while and it could get a little awkward, but I am not above sleeping with headphones and a white noise machine if necessary.” Kurt laughed and went to the stove to put the finishing touches on dinner. “I need my beauty sleep.”

“You're gorgeous.” Blaine stepped close behind Kurt, resting his hands on Kurt's hips and Kurt leaned back into the kiss Blaine placed on the back of his neck. “So Kurt,” Blaine said, lips still pressed against Kurt.

“Hmmm?” Kurt nuzzled backward.

“Do you think dinner will keep?”

Kurt shook himself, blinking at the pan in his hands. “I think so, why?”

“Well I seem to recall receiving some pretty interesting texts over the last few days - “

“Oh?” Kurt turned the stove off and turned in Blaine's arms. “I wonder what you could possibly mean by that?”

“ - and I was wondering if perhaps a more thorough tour of your bedroom might be in order before dinner.”

Blaine nipped at Kurt’s bottom lip, then drew it between his own in another lingering kiss, pressing his body snug against Kurt's. Kurt whimpered just a bit when Blaine's hands went to Kurt's ass, and he rutted against Blaine's half hard cock. Without a word he walked Blaine back a step, then tangled their fingers together, tugging Blaine behind him into his bedroom.

On the bed Kurt crawled over Blaine until Blaine was on his back, then kissed him slow and long. Blaine hands gripped at Kurt's shoulders, then moved to his face, holding him in a kiss far longer than either had expected.

“Love your mouth,” Blaine finally breathed out in between nipping and licking against Kurt's lips. “I love kissing you.” Kurt shuffled back and sat on Blaine's cock, rubbing his own jean covered ass against it. Blaine hissed and threw his head back against the pillow.

“Yeah?” Kurt tugged at the bow tie snug against Blaine's throat, still grinding his ass on Blaine.

“Uh huh.”

Kurt unbuttoned Blaine's shirt, pulling it open once he got to the waistband of Blaine's pants. He flicked the button open without pause then scooted back into Blaine's thighs.

“Uh uh, no fair,” Blaine said sitting up and waving a hand at Kurt. “Off. Yours too.”

Kurt grinned and bit his lip, watching Blaine watch him take his shirt off. He didn't rush but didn't bother to drag it out. After he stripped down to his briefs Kurt finished removing all of Blaine’s clothes, getting back onto the bed, running his hands over Blaine’s thighs as he stared at his cock. Kurt had sent more than one text in the past week letting Blaine know exactly how much he wanted to get his mouth on Blaine’s cock, but Blaine knew from past experience that sometimes a guy’s eyes could be bigger than their, well, mouths where he was concerned.

But Kurt didn’t look intimidated. Blaine wasn’t sure, but he might have even been drooling. He looked up at Blaine. “Can I?”

Blaine held back a smirk, reaching for his cock with one hand as he leaned on his elbow. He kept his eyes on Kurt as he stroked up his full length once, then gripped it around the base and held it up towards Kurt who let out a sound that could only be called a growl, bent over, and wrapped his lips around the head of Blaine’s cock.

It always turned him on watching a guy attempt to deep-throat him. It had only really happened once, but Kurt was making a go of it. Kurt’s mouth worked up and down, his tongue lashing around the head on every pull up. Blaine moved his hand into Kurt’s hair, tangling his fingers tight, and Kurt wrapped his hand around Blaine’s cock and went for it. Kurt choked a little and his head bobbed up and down and when he swallowed around the saliva dripping down Blaine’s shaft all he wanted was to come in Kurt’s mouth, but he didn’t want to. He wanted something else.

He tugged at Kurt’s hair, but all he got was a moan around his cock. He tugged harder, pulling Kurt’s head up so he could look at him. Kurt’s mouth was red and swollen, his eyes hazy.

Blaine licked his lips, panting from the effort to hold back. “Kurt, would you, I mean, I know you love my cock, but I'd really like it if you could fuck me.”

Kurt's eyes lit up, spit dripping down his chin. “I would love that, yeah.”

Kurt slid off the bed, retrieving supplies from the bedside table and resettling between Blaine's knees.

“What do you like?” He slipped a lubed finger between Blaine's cheeks, and Blaine reached beneath his thighs and spread himself open for Kurt.

“Ahhh,” he gasped at the first touch. “A lot of lube and a lot of stretch.” Blaine bit his lip and looked up at Kurt. Kurt’s eyes darkened, and his cock twitched toward his belly. Blaine tensed a bit at the first finger -it had been a while - but by the time Kurt’s knuckles pressed Blaine’s rim, he was ready for another.

He nodded and Kurt pulled his finger out, dragging it against Blaine’s rim until he could add another finger, twisting as he pushed both in, waiting until Blaine adjusted, pressing around Blaine's rim with both fingers until Blaine relaxed. By the time Kurt worked up to four fingers, all he wanted was Kurt inside him.

He looked at Kurt, who had his free hand gripping his own cock, slowly stroking it as he fucked Blaine on his fingers. “Ready, if you are.”

Kurt nodded and crawled up Blaine's body, kissing him wet and dirty, tongue licking behind Blaine's teeth.

“Turn around, on your knees,” Kurt coaxed. Blaine scrambled onto all fours. “Uh uh,” Kurt said, wrapping an arm around Blaine's waist and guiding him upright, pulling his back against Kurt's chest. “Spread your knees.”

“God, okay, okay.”

Kurt sat back on his heels, putting the condom on and spreading a palmful of lubricant onto his covered cock as it jutted out from between his thighs. Blaine gasped when Kurt’s hands palmed his ass and spread him.

“Christ Blaine.” Kurt squeezed and pulled, scooting forward enough to press the head of his dick against Blaine's eager hole. “Your ass is gorgeous. Come on, sit on my cock.”

With a groan Blaine did as he was told, spreading his thighs wide as he took Kurt's cock deep, with Kurt pressing up slowly, until his ass rested on Kurt’s lap.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked. He had one arm wrapped around Blaine's waist to keep him steady.

“Oh god,” Blaine gasped. His hands had been resting on his thighs, but he reached out, wanting to hang onto something. “Why don’t you have a headboard?” He choked out. “God you're big.”

“We can get the ruler out later.” Kurt laughed into his neck. “But you look so hot right now I think I need to start fucking you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yes. God.”

Blaine grabbed both thighs again for balance, as Kurt gripped him by his hips and lifted him, pushing his cock back inside. Then he held him there as he fucked into him, short strokes that got longer and slower as Blaine relaxed against him.

“I’ll need the yoga after this.” Blaine grunted, arching his back and resting his head on Kurt's shoulder, his ass clenching tight around Kurt as he thrust. Kurt reached for Blaine's cock, his hand slick and sticky with sweat and lube. Blaine reached an arm back, holding onto Kurt's neck, grasping at Kurt's hair as he fucked himself on Kurt’s cock. Blaine moaned, his body shuddering, as he came throbbing in Kurt's hand, come shooting against his chest, over his fingers, Kurt stroking him through it, fucking him steady until he was spent.

“Down, on the bed,” Kurt pulled out and Blaine went willingly to his stomach, Kurt straddling him and spreading his ass with one hand as he guided his cock back into it. “Could fuck you all night.” Blaine whimpered, hitching his ass up off the bed to meet Kurt's thrusts, but with Kurt's arms steadying him on either side of Blaine's torso, Kurt fucked him hard and fast until his own orgasm slammed into him. Kurt pulled out carefully before collapsing on the bed next to Blaine.

Blaine managed to find use of his mouth first. “Wow.”

Kurt, eyes closed, just waved a hand in the air. “Gimme a minute.”

Blaine giggled. “Okay.”

When Kurt’s senses returned, he wiped the come and sweat off of both of them as best as he could with a tissue, and curled up with Blaine against him, mumbling something about a shower later.

“I honestly don't know whether I like your cock or your ass better.”

“Oh?” Blaine laughed. Kurt hummed a noncommittal noise. “Well both my cock and my ass are hoping you won't feel like you have to choose. They are both pretty fond of you.”

Kurt turned his face away, scrunching his nose up as if actually considering one or the other, until Blaine slapped weakly at his chest.

“Come on,” Kurt said, getting out of bed and reaching for Blaine’s hand. “Shower, then dinner. Maybe a movie. Possibly more sex.”

Kurt woke sore everywhere, with Blaine’s warm body nudged up behind him, Blaine’s arm loose over his waist. He hadn’t really expected Blaine to disappear in the early hours, but Kurt was surprised at how relieved he was to feel Blaine still there. Comfy and warm, Kurt fell back to sleep, waking later to Blaine kissing the back of his neck.

“Mmmm, morning,” Blaine mumbled. Kurt rolled over to face him. Propping his head up with one hand. They’d showered last night and Blaine’s hair was curly and sticking up in the most adorable bed head Kurt had ever seen. “What’s so funny?” Blaine pouted.

“Oh nothing. You’re cute all rumpled.” Blaine beamed at him. “Do you want to, stay for breakfast? I make excellent toast.”

“I’d love to stay. Do you serve toast naked and in bed?”

“No crumbs in bed, Blaine.”

“I could lick them off of you - ”

“Oh my god, are you always like this in the morning?”

“Like what?” His face was feigned innocence.

“All adorably rumpled eager puppy? Because if you’re going to be like this every morning I may have to rethink all the plans I have for you.”

“You have plans for me?” Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt’s naked waist, firmly enough that Kurt couldn’t wriggle away.

Kurt looked him in the eyes, he didn’t want there to be any doubt. “I have so many plans for you Blaine Anderson.”

#prompt-a-klaine-fic #size kink!Kurt #klaine au #klaine fic

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this-book-has-been-loved · 7 years ago

Text

Singularity: Chapter 9

AU where instead of landing in the trash nebula, Pidge finds herself on the same planet as a certain Galra prison camp.

(Holt family reunion fic; no romantic relationships)

Read it on Ao3

Read it on FFN

Chapter 9: Monarch

The emptiness that had consumed her these past few days was gone. Instead she was at war with herself: righteous anger, crippling sadness, and fiery determination fought for dominance. Nervous energy bubbled inside her, and she could hardly keep herself from bouncing up and down on her toes.

One varga—one hour—wasn’t much time to formulate an extensive plan, but they did what they could in the time they had.

They all stood in Green’s hangar, suited up for battle, going over the plan one last time. She had one hand resting on her lion, ready to just climb into the cockpit and go.

Shiro’s arms were crossed, and she could tell he was anxious by the way he drummed his fingers on his bicep. “Katie, this isn’t safe.”

“Dude,” Hunk deadpanned. “You realize there’s nothing you can do to stop her, right?”

Shiro sighed. “I just don’t like the idea of you going in there alone.”

“I won’t be alone,” Pidge reminded him. “Lance’ll be there too.”

“Still—”

“And I’ll have Keith for backup,” she continued. “Not to mention the freaking Green Lion.” She looked at him for a moment, then reached out to wrap her arms around him. “I know you feel responsible, or whatever,” she mumbled into his chest. “Because you know me. Because you know my family. And I appreciate that. But for once, can you just let me be the reckless irresponsible teenager I am?”

He laughed once, letting out a whoosh of air, as he pulled her in closer. “Just…promise me you’ll be careful.”

“I will,” she told him, pulling back to look him in the eyes. “I promise.” Her smile started to fade. “I’m not letting this mission fail. I’m not leaving him again.”

“You won’t have to,” Lance told her. “This’ll be a piece of cake. Get in, blow some stuff up, and get out.”

“And there’s still Vallen to worry about,” Allura added anxiously. “We haven’t been able to establish contact with the prison whatsoever. Who knows what’s going on down there.”

“Hunk and I will take care of that,” Shiro assured her.

“Is there even a prison camp there?” Hunk wondered. “Or was that all just a ruse to lure us out here?”

“I guess we’ll just have to find out,” Shiro replied with a shrug. “Either way, it’ll keep them occupied so the rest of you can do what you need to do on his ship.”

“Matt said it was a trap,” Keith said softly. “What do you think Reggar has planned for this?”

“Well, he’s definitely not going to keep his word,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “As if he’d actually let them go.”

“Surrender isn’t an option anyway.”

“So we’ll do what we do best and improvise,” Pidge said impatiently. “Can we go now?”

Shiro sighed, rubbing his face in resignation. “I feel like I’m raising a bunch of children,” he muttered. Then, louder, and more clearly, “Go ahead, Pidge. Good luck.”

Pidge cheered, grabbing Lance by the hand to pull him into the Green Lion with her. “Alright, sidekick, let’s get going!”

“Sidekick?!”

Ignoring Lance’s indignant sputtering, she settled into her chair in the cockpit. “Hold on tight,” she called. “Here we go!”

With that, the Green Lion shot out of its hangar, flying through the stars towards the imposingly large Galra warship that hung before them.

“Okay, Lance, you’re gonna have to move fast. I don’t know how many sentries will be in there, but hopefully most of them will leave with me. You’ll have to take out the rest of them and patch into the internal systems. All you have to do is open a hatch in the wall and scan the systems with your gauntlet. Then Coran will be able to hack in and mess with everything so Keith can get on board.”

“Got it.”

“Good.” She tapped at her console, fiddling with a few settings. “You should get to the back room. They might try to access the video feed and we don’t want them knowing that you’re with me.”

He nodded, tearing his eyes from the warship. “Good luck.”

“You too.”

Alone in the cockpit of her lion, she felt the adrenaline rush start to set in. “Alright. Time to kick some ass.”

She took a deep breath, then switched her comms to an open frequency. “Attention Galra vessel, this is the Green Paladin. Don’t shoot; I’m surrendering my lion. If you could open the hangar doors, that’d be appreciated.”

Her transmission was answered without a word; the hangar doors before her merely opened, revealing the purple-lit interior. Then they did one step better: activated a tractor beam.

They pulled her into the hangar, but she still maintained enough control to manage her own landing. She guided her lion to a stop, making sure to leave plenty of room beside her for Keith.

“This is it,” she told herself, watching through the viewscreens as dozens of sentries filed into the bay. Sensing her lion’s anxiety, she placed a hand on the dashboard. “Alright, girl, remember: shields up as soon as I get out. And I promise: I’ll let you know if things go wrong and I need a rescue.” Her lion rumbled, still uneasy but content with her promise. Pidge smiled. “And be nice to Lance,” she chastised.

Green grumbled grudgingly, and Pidge could’ve sworn she rolled her eyes. No promises.

Despite everything, Pidge laughed.

She stood up to leave the cockpit, heading towards the exit ramp in Green’s mouth.

“Lance,” she called, “get ready.”

Green lowered her head and opened her mouth, allowing Pidge to step out.

She was greeted by not just sentries, but soldiers as well. The soldiers appeared to be unarmed, but she knew from experience (namely, her fight against Haxus) that they carried swords. Not to mention the sentries—she counted at least two dozen of them, all aiming their blasters at her. She kept her hands up as she walked down the ramp towards them, eyeing them warily.

“Well, hi, there,” she said jauntily. “Any of you guys know where I can find Commander Reggar? I’m here to return his call.”

She was taken down a series of hallways. Two sentries walked in front of her, and two behind her. The procession was led by a single officer.

She still wore her helmet, and they hadn’t bound her hands.

Though she’d turned down the volume of the comms, she was able to hear the rest of her team as they set each step of their plan in motion.

(“Coran, are you getting this?”

“Yes, just need to—ah! Got it! All ready for you, Keith.”

“On it.”)

She tuned it out, focusing on her surrounding as she was marched towards a set of imposing doors set into the wall.

The soldier put his hand to the scanner and the doors opened. He stepped forward, leaving Pidge and the sentries in the hall. Through the doorway, Pidge could see the imposing frame of Commander Reggar. At the side of the room, nearly out of her field of vision, she could make out a few other figures against the wall. She craned her neck to get a better look, then froze as she took them in. Dad and Matt.

The soldier who had entered before her stood at attention before Reggar and saluted. “Sir, we have the Green Paladin.”

Matt started.

Commander Reggar turned, looking past the soldier and into the hall. He smiled. “Perfect. Bring them in.”

The sentries behind her prodded her forwards, and she stepped towards the doorway.

They’re here, she told her lion. Tell the rest of the team. I found them. They’re here.

They hadn’t expected this. They’d assumed Reggar would have them stuck in a cell somewhere. While this certainly cleared up one issue for them, it still threw a wrench in their plans. They’d have to speed things up.

She could hear the voices from the rest of her team over the comm link as their own lions passed on the information.

“Hold tight, Pidge.” Even with the volume turned low, Keith’s voice still rang clear. “I’m on my way.”

Walking into the room, she made quick eye contact first with Matt, and then with her father. She took a deep breath as she focused her attention back towards the Galra commander. It’ll be fine, she reminded herself. Just keep him talking.

“You are dismissed, Blazak,” Reggar intoned, never once taking his eyes off Pidge.

The officer who had lead Pidge bowed. “Vrepit sa.” He exited the bridge, and she was left alone with Reggar.

She held her head high. “Commander Reggar,” she greeted, meeting his gaze.

“Paladin.”

She took a moment to assess the situation. There was Reggar, of course, standing before her in his full imposing glory. But he was the only officer in the room. The only other Galra there were the sentries: four of them surrounding her, and two by her dad and Matt. Six total. She smirked. This was nothing.

“Alright,” she said, locking eyes with Reggar. “You wanted a surrender? I’m here.”

Across the room, Matt stepped towards her, only to have his path blocked by sentries. “Katie, don’t—”

“I can handle this, Matt,” she told him, sparing him a brief glance.

“Katie.” Her father’s voice was calm but firm, reproachful yet warm, somehow managing to convey a dozen emotions in just a single word.

Pidge squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to let herself cry in front of Reggar. “Please,” she whispered. “I know what I’m doing.”

“By all means,” Reggar intoned, his tone dripping in amusement, “let the paladin handle this.”

“Stop,” she told him, and he turned back to face her. “Your fight is with me. Not them. I told you, I’m here to negotiate surrender.”

His lip curled in disgust. “And yet you bring me but one lion,” he replied evenly. “I believe my terms were for the surrender of Voltron. And one lion is not Voltron.”

“Well four lions isn’t Voltron either,” she retorted. “They can’t form Voltron without me, which is good news for you.” She folded her hands behind her back, blinking up at him innocently. “I’m just here to discuss the terms of surrender in more explicit terms. Your earlier transmission seemed to be…cut short.”

His yellow eyes flashed dangerously. “You forget your place. You’re not the one in charge of this situation. You’re on your own here. There’s nothing you can do against me.”

Her lion paced anxiously in her mind, and Pidge felt the waves of worry emanating from her. It’s okay, Pidge hastened to assure her. Don’t worry. I’ve got this.

“I’m only one paladin,” Pidge reminded him. “There are four others, running around somewhere. They could be back on our ship, or flying around in their lions. Could be worlds away. Could be somewhere else on this very ship.” She shrugged, nonchalantly. “Who knows?”

He glowered, stepping towards her menacingly. “Don’t play games with me, Paladin.”

She shrunk back instinctively, but held her ground. “I’m just making sure all the cards are on the table.”

A second set of doors, on the opposite end of the bridge, slid open and a soldier, though not the one that had led Pidge there earlier, stepped through. “Sir, we have an issue.”

Reggar’s eyes narrowed as he turned towards the intruder. “What happened?”

“It seems the Black and Yellow Lions have opened fire.”

“What?!”

“They’re attacking our ground forces on Vallen. They…they appear to be attempting to liberate the prison.”

With a snarl, Reggar whirled back on Pidge. She didn’t flinch, just stood there impassively, a small smile on her face. “I can guarantee you that whatever you throw at them, they’ll be able to take care of it.”

“Arkul,” the commander yelled, turning back to the soldier. “Attack them with our full arsenal. Don’t let them get away.”

“Vrepit sa, sir.”

The soldier left. Out of the corner of her eye, Pidge saw Matt and their father exchange a curious glance.

“You come here to speak of surrender,” Reggar snarled. “And yet even now your lions attack our forces on the planet Vallen.”

“That’s beyond my control,” she answered cooly. “The Black and Yellow Lions don’t answer to me.”

“This is a waste of my time,” he snapped. “You’re useless to me!”

Green pushed herself to the forefront of Pidge’s mind, nearly roaring, Do you need me to come now? But the paladin merely sent her reassuring thoughts: Hold.

She didn’t realize that she’d said it out loud until she saw how Reggar was staring at her, his brow furrowed. “Your helmet,” he realized.

She froze. “What?”

“You’re communicating with the other Paladins.”

She breathed, urging herself to stay calm. “You seem to be forgetting that I have a psychic bond with a giant magic robot cat,” she deadpanned. “I don’t need a helmet to communicate with them.”

“Then you won’t object to taking it off.” When she didn’t answer, he grinned and turned towards the sentries standing by her. “Remove their helmet,” he instructed.

A sentry reached towards her, and she smacked its arm away. “I can remove my own helmet,” she snapped.

In one deliberate motion, Pidge pulled it off her head, letting her hair fall into place as she stared Reggar down.

The commander started to smile, taking in her appearance, then glancing over towards Matt. “Well,” he mused. “I think that answers a few questions.”

She let her helmet fall to the floor, clenching her fists and glaring fiercely at Reggar. “Let. My family. Go.”

“I think the stakes are rising for you,” was his response. “Don’t forget which of us is in charge here. You’re in over your head, Paladin.”

“Psychic bond with a Voltron lion,” she reminded him. “You lay one finger on me and she starts blasting her way in here to get me.”

Reggar hummed, seemingly unconcerned. “That may be true. But can you say the same for them?” He waved a hand towards the wall where her brother and father waited.

In response, she drew her bayard, holding it unactivated in her hand. She wanted nothing more than to activate it and unleash hell, but with so many added variables hanging in the air….

Come on, Keith, where are you?

“You wish to fight, Paladin?” Reggar said, his voice deathly quiet. “Then I will oblige.” He drew a weapon, a cylinder of metal, and a glowing purple blade burst to life. Pidge grimaced, reminded of her fight back on the castle with Haxus; he’d had a sword just like this one.

“Katie,” her father spoke again. A hush fell over the room. But Reggar didn’t interrupt him, and so Sam Holt continued. “Katherine Holt. If you have a way off of this ship, then you get out of here.”

Pidge broke, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. But she didn’t turn to him—keeping her eyes locked on Reggar and his sword. “I…I can’t.”

“That’s an order, Cadet.”

She winced. He was using his commander voice, which he only ever did when he was upset. “You can’t ask me to do that, Dad.”

Beside him, Matt was just as tense, straining at his bonds. “Katie, you need to leave.”

“No!” she shouted, her fists clenching. She squeezed her eyes shut, fighting back the tears that she could feel were moments from spilling over. “I’m not leaving you again!” Her voice cracked. “I just got you back,” she rasped. “I…I can’t lose you again.”

Reggar watched her, his face impassive as he leisurely swung his glowing blade. “Well, Paladin?”

Pidge took a deep breath, steeling her nerves, and met his monochrome yellow eyes.

She activated her bayard.

Reggar didn’t make a move to attack her himself; instead he merely directed his attention towards the four sentries that guarded her. “Open fire.”

“KATIE!”

She was a whirl of motion.

She dropped to the floor, letting the blasts from one hit one that had been behind her. She came up on the other side of the first, slashing it cleanly in half. Swiping with her bayard, she cut off the head of the third and sent its body crashing into the fourth, causing them both to clatter to the floor.

Then Reggar was there, slashing at her vehemently. She blocked his swipes against the tip of her bayard, but barely.

Back on Serva, the prison warden hadn’t been too hard to fight. A bit overweight, out of shape, not used to battle—Pidge had been able to take him down with hardly any effort.

Reggar was entirely different.

He had his sword, and he clearly knew how to use it.

Within a few hits, he’d disarmed her. Her bayard fell out of her hands, clattering uselessly to the ground and spinning out of reach.

Before she could make a move towards it, Reggar lunged. In an instant, the tip of the blade was pointed mere inches from her throat. She froze, her heartbeat pounding in her ears as a tense silence gripped the room.

Commander Reggar grimaced, glaring down at her. “You’re not leaving this ship alive.”

#Voltron: Legendary Defender #Voltron Legendary Defender #Voltron #Voltron fanfiction #vld fanfiction #vld #Voltron fanfic #Singularity #Pidge Gunderson #Katie Holt #Matt Holt #Sam Holt #Takashi Shirogane #Lance McClain #Keith Kogane #Hunk Garrett #mine #I'm a writer #my writing

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chmergess4ever · 8 years ago

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Boomin (Part 3)

Hey Everybody! Thank you for your response to Part 2 of this story! It always makes me so happy reading what you all have to say! Here is part 3 of the story. I will say in advance that there will be another part after this one and that will be the final part. It is written and ready to go but the more likes, comments, and reblogs I get the sooner I will post. I can’t wait for you guys to read it! This is one of my favorite stories to write. Thanks for the support.

P.S. It’s really long. I just can’t find a way to shorten them.

The months went by faster than one could imagine, and Val and Sharna continued going strong in their relationship. They had begun a new season of Dancing with the Stars and were both doing well with their new partners. Outside of the show, they had shared many laughs and created many new memories, along with having their fair share of fights, but never ones that didn’t end with a kiss. Their relationship was perfect and it was looking like it was headed in the right direction.

In week 5 of the competition, Sharna had received the first perfect score of the season with her partner. The night was filled with congratulatory tweets and texts which made her incredibly happy but her favorite was the picture of her and her partner receiving their tens, that Val had posted on his instagram with the caption, “This one, got the first perfect score of the season. Congrats to my @SharnaBurgess. I agree with them. You’re all 10’s.”

She liked it and replied with a bunch of heart eye emojis.

Later on that night she was laying in bed scrolling through instagram and trying to think of ideas for their next dance. Val was fast asleep next to her, but his breathing kept her steady. She liked to listen to him, it was peaceful to her. She started scrolling through itunes trying to find the version of the song that they had been assigned, when a new text message notification popped up on her phone. The name read, “Laurie Hernandez”. Sharna clicked the message and smiled as she read the message.

“Shar! Congrats on your fabulous score tonight!”

“Hey Nugget! Thanks!! It’s been awhile. How are you?” A few minutes passed but then her phone rang with a response, “I’m great! Missin my Big Sis.”

Sharna smiled and typed back, “Missing my little sis. You free tomorrow? Want to grab some breakfast?”

Immediately the typing bubble popped up on the screen. “Of course I do. Fratelli’s at 10?”

“You got it. See you then.” Sharna locked her phone and set it on the bedside table. She then turned off the lamp and moved closer to Val nustling into him, her back pressed up against his chest. He resituated himself and wrapped his arm around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Goodnight baby. I love you.” He said groggily.

“You too.” She grabbed his hand and held it as she fell asleep.

The next morning Sharna woke up to an empty bed. There was a note left on the pillow that said that Val had gone to the studio to start practicing early. She always loved the notes he left her if he had woken up before her. They had gotten into the habit of spending every night together whether at her place or Val’s but they each had a key to the others and seldomly ever spent the night apart. She took the note and put it in her nightstand drawer where she saved all the others that he had left her, along with a bunch of other little memorabilia symbolizing their relationship. She got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for her breakfast. She then walked out into the bedroom and made the bed before shutting out the light and walking out into the main space of her apartment. She had a glass of water and then headed out for her breakfast. As soon as she arrived at fratelli’s she was greeted Yaron Abraham. “Ms. Burgess. What brings you here today?”

Sharna smiled. “Just meeting Laurie.”

“Oh Val’s not coming?” “Not today.”

“Ok Then. We’ll seat you in the back corner.” He brought her over to the table in the far corner where they would be hidden from the ground.

Ten minutes later Laurie arrived and ran over to Sharna, “Shar!!!” Sharna jumped up out of her seat and pulled Laurie in for a hug. “Ahh, I missed you!” “You too” She scrunched up her nose and smiled. She then moved to the other side of the table and sat down. Shortly after Yaron walked over to the table. “What can I get for two of the most important women in my nephew’s life?”

“Egg whites and wheat toast please.” Sharna smiled at him.

“I’ll have the same.” Laurie waited till he left and then looked at Sharna. “So, How have you been? You look dashing! As always” Laurie smiled and started fiddling with the straw.

“I’m great!! Everything’s been great!!” “And how’s Val?”

The waiter brought them each over a cup of coffee. Sharna waited till he left and then spoke again, “Val’s amazing. He’s great. We’re great. I’ve never been happier.” Sharna took a sip of her coffee, “And how’s your love life? I know you wanted to start dating.”

“Ahh, that brings us to our next topic of conversation.” “Oh?” Sharna raised her eyebrows in questioning.

“So, you know how you said I could come talk to you about-” Sharna smiled, knowing what was coming. “Yes, I remember.”

“Well, I’ve been dating this guy for a little more than two months now.”

“Oooo. What’s his name?” “Jake. I really really like him. But how do you know-” Laurie took a pause and a deep breath. “When you’re ready?”

“Ready for what?” Sharna was unsure as to what was going to be asked. She began taking a sip of coffee when Laurie spoke again.

“Ready to have sex.”

Sharna did a spit take and her coffee flew across the table. Laurie scrunched from getting sprayed in coffee. Sharna coughed trying to clear her throat and get a bearing on things. “I’m sorry. I was not expecting that.”

“Clearly.”

“Laurie, you’re young, sweetie.”

“I’m 17. And I really like him. Really really like him.”

“When it comes to this it’s not really about liking. It’s about feeling comfortable enough with someone to give yourself to them. It takes time.”

“You slept with Val right away.”

Sharna took a breath before formulating her next thoughts. “Two completely different situations. A) I knew Val for a long long time before we got together and B) I’m an adult. Feelings are more developed and established at an age like mine. Sex isn’t something that you rush into sweetheart. People do. I’m not going to say that I haven’t. But starting right, is the right way to go. It’s so much better with someone who loves you.”

“I don’t want to lose him.”

“Who? Jake?”

“Yeah. What if I don’t sleep with him and he breaks up with me?”

“Then he doesn’t deserve you. Never has and never will. If he likes you enough, he will wait for you.”

Laurie nodded taking in the advice she so desperately needed from one of the people she looked up to most in this world. “Thanks Shar.”

“Anytime. Nugget.”

The rest of the day went peacefully. Sharna had finished breakfast with Laurie and then had asked her if she wanted to come to the studio to visit everyone. She happily obliged and spent the day with her former cast members. She gave Sharna a big hug before she left thanking her again, and Sharna reminded her that she’s too special to sacrafice her happiness for someone else’s.

Later that night, she went over to Val’s after agreeing that they would spend the night at his place. She found him lying in bed on his phone. He was wearing basketball shorts and no shirt. He smiled when he saw her. “Hey, you.”

Sharna walked over to him and kissed him before putting her stuff down on the chair in the corner of his room. “I’m just going to take a shower. It’s been a long day.”

“Can I come with?”

“Like you even have to ask.”

About an hour later, after an extra long shower, Sharna stayed in the bathroom cleansing her face as Val walked into his bedroom and got ready to go to sleep. She slipped into one of his flannels that he had left for her and walked out into the bedroom to meet him. He was lying in the bed on his back, facing up at the ceiling. The lamp on her side had been left on so she could find her way to bed. She made her way around, setting her phone on the nightstand and climbed in bed under the covers. She sat up, with her back against the headboard as she grabbed a magazine that she had brought with her and began flipping through it. “So, you want to hear about my morning?” She asked the man next to her.

“I always do.”

“So Laurie asked me about sex.”

“What?” Val’s eyes shot open and he propped himself up to look at her.

“When we went out to breakfast she told me about her new boyfriend and asked how she’d know if she was ready to have sex with him because she thought she was.”

“She’s not.”

“I know that. And I told her. Don’t worry.”

“Jeez. Shar. You gave me a near heart attack. My innocent little Laurie.”

Sharna threw the magazine on the table next to her and started running her fingers through his hair as he closed his eyes again. “She accused me of not waiting, because me and you did it right away.”

“You and I did it after knowing each other for over 10 years.”

“That’s what I told her.”

“Good. Kids these days.” “You broke yours when you were young.”

“Yea, but it was a mistake and I’m also not little innocent Laurie.”

“I agree with you.” Sharna reached to turn the lamp off and slid down into bed. “I’m still glad she felt comfortable enough to come talk to me. It was such a mom moment.” She smiled nestling into him.

Val pulled her closer and wrapped his arm around her. “You’d be such a good mom.”

“You think one day we will-” “Yes babe. One day we will have everything together.”

Their relationship continued smooth sailing from there. 1 year of laughs and new memories, 1 year of fights that always ended with a kiss ,and 1 year of complete love. Their relationship had lasted through every obstacle it was presented with and had proven itself strong enough to last through anything.

After winning season 24 with her partner, Sharna took the summer off from work allowing herself to go with Val on tour for Maks and Val: Our Way Part 2. She traveled to every city with him enjoying every show as much as the last. She loved being an aunt to Shai and getting to see his shining face every day, it only made her more excited for her future with Val. After the tour they both competed in another season of Dancing with the Stars but weren’t as lucky this time around, landing in 5th and 7th place but as fan favorites they were still asked to headline the winter tour together. They happy agreed, excited to head out on the road and meet their fans. The show was filled with upbeat numbers along with some slow dances. Upon request by the fans, Sharna and Val danced together in all the group numbers and had 2 individual dances together. One Rumba and one Samba. The audiences were loving the show, fully engaged with each individual number. The meet and greets were hugely successful as well, they both loved meeting fans, it was one of their favorite parts of being on tour.

They were now halfway through the tour and were making their annual stop at Radio City. All of Val’s friends and family were attending the show as they all lived in New York. They performed the show with no mistakes and it seemed as if it was their best run of it yet. When it was over they all bowed individually, Sharna and Val receiving the biggest cheers and claps as the favorites of many members in the audience. The confetti fell and music began playing before Val grabbed the microphone from one of the crew members. He ran back out on stage.

“Everybody. Everybody.”

He grabbed the attention of everyone in the room. Sharna looked around at her castmates confused. “Can you all just take a seat for a second please.” He cleared his throat. “On behalf of the DWTS Tour cast and crew, I would truly like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. Please give yourself a hand.” Everyone clapped until Val silenced them. “But in addition, while I have your attention, I’d like to do something else. How many of you are here with your significant other tonight” People raised their hands and screamed. “Well, you see it’s an incredibly nice thing to be with the person you love everyday. And I’m grateful to be able to be with my love all throughout this tour.

“Chmergesss!!!!” Someone yelled from the audience.

“Yes. Yes. Chmergess.” Val started walking to the side of the stage. “So, depending on how closely you follow us, you know that Sharna and I have been dating for about a year now.”

Everyone cheered.

“Endgame!!!” Alex yelled knowing Val would know it was him.

Val continued talking, “But we’ve known each other for a lot longer and I feel comfortable enough to share with you all that I am more in love than I have ever been before.” More cheers from the audience erupted. “Now New York, is a special place for me. My family is here. My friends for here, and it’s where I grew up. So I figured why not add another special moment in New York? Right?” Again, the audience cheered. “So, Can i please ask my love to come up here and join me on the stage.”

Emma and Lindsay pushed Sharna forward to the front of the stage on the opposite side from Val. “Sharna, you told me a year ago, that you wanted a relationship with hearts and flowers, and from the moment we became a couple I promised myself that I would do everything I could to make sure you had hearts and flowers. So with the help of some friends, I’d like to give them to you.” Val turned to the audience. “Everyone who was given a rose tonight from Mr. Alan Bersten at the meet and greet, can you please come join me on the stage?” Twelve different people of different ages started walking to the stage. “.They all held a single rose. Once they were all on the stage and standing in between Val and Sharna, Val spoke “Sharna, these 12 people are super fans of yours. During the meet and greet, I spotted the biggest fans of yours and then signaled to Alan to deliver them with special instructions. They admire you to the moon and back and would do anything for you. But I want you to take how they feel about you, quadruple it and add some. That’s how I feel about you.” He pointed to his chest. He started making his way across the line of people and as he passed them he would take their rose and say something. He reached the first girl who was 13. He took her rose in his hand. “Rose 1. She loves you because you teach her to be a better person. I love you because you make me a better person” he continued walking doing the same for each rose. “rose 6. He loves you because he thinks you’re hot. I love you because I think you’re the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He was gathering all the roses in his hand. He reached the last one. “Rose 12. She loves you for the person you make everyone adore. I love you for the person you made me fall in love with.” He was now holding a bouquet of roses and standing in front of her. “I love you Sharna Burgess. And i want you to know that every day with me will be special no matter where we are. You’re my life. You’re my love. You’re my heart and I’d like to ask you to be one more thing.” Val pulled a ring box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. “Sharna Burgess. I love you, and I always will. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?” Sharna felt tears streaming down her face. “Yes, Baby. Yes.” Val got up and picked her up spinning her around. Everyone clapped and cheered. She kissed him. He set her down and took her left hand, removing the ring from the box and sliding it on her finger. “I love you.”

“I love you.” She rested her forehead against his. The cast swarmed them in hugs. Val quickly came to the front. “That’s a wrap. Thank you to everyone for coming out. Tune in to Dancing with the Stars in March!”

“So we’re engaged.” Sharna said as threw her bag on the couch of the tour bus and cuddled up in a corner.

“Yes we are.” Val sat next to her putting his arm around her and kissing her.

“It’s soo shiny.” She held up her hand looking at her new Harry Winston engagement ring.

“Only the best for the best.” He tilted her chin up so he could press his lips to hers.

“Sharna! Hold up your hand!” She heard Emma call. She continued kissing Val and held up her hand. All the girls surrounding Emma “awed.”

“Let me see.” sharna waved her hand for Emma to come over. Emma handed her the phone and Sharna smiled when she saw the picture. “Can I send it to myself?”

“Of course you can.”

Sharna did as she asked and then opened the picture sending it to Val and then clicking the share button. Instagram opened and Sharna picked the natural setting, leaving it without a filter. She then thought about a caption before she typed it and came up with the perfect one. “Engaged to my love, @iamvalc. We’ve made it through pretty little liars, and a whole bunch of roses but it was totally worth the wait. He’s the love of my life and I’m so glad I got to say yes. Also, #Nofilter -the diamond is just that sparkly.”

Val laughed when he read the caption over his shoulder. “You’re too much.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened instagram. He added the picture and then typed the caption. “She said yes. So glad I got to share this moment with my love. In front of my friends and family. Best night of my life. Thank you @sharnaburgess. Thank you for making me the happiest man alive.”

Sharna read it and gave him a kiss. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

#chmergess #Chmergessfanfic #chmergessfanfiction #valandsharna #sharnaandval

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gta-5-cheats · 7 years ago

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Sony Xperia XZ1 Review

New Post has been published on http://secondcovers.com/sony-xperia-xz1-review/

Sony Xperia XZ1 Review

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Sony releases two flagship smartphones every year, and though that might seem like an oddity, it’s not very different from what several other Android OEMs do. Samsung releases Galaxy S and Galaxy Note flagships roughly six months apart, and LG’s been doing something similar with the G series and the V series.

Both Samsung and LG, however, try and cater to different audiences with their two flagship ranges. Samsung’s Galaxy S series is clearly meant for a mainstream users, while the Note range with its S-Pen stylus and bigger screens targets professionals focussed on productivity. Similarly, while LG’s G series is the flag-bearer of its smartphone range, the V series has recently been used as an opportunity to experiment with different designs and form factors.

Sony doesn’t seem to have any such philosophy, and its second-half offerings can at best be considered incremental upgrades to each year’s ‘main’ flagship, with minimal changes. It’s no surprise then that the Xperia XZ1 looks virtually identical to the Xperia XZs from the front. This time, however, Sony has done enough to ensure that the Xperia XZ1 feels like a bit of a refresh over its predecessor, even though it lacks the narrow bezels and 16:9 display that became a popular trend in 2017.

First up is an all-new metal body that gives the Xperia XZ1 a definite leg up over the other members of its family. We especially liked the matte finish on our black unit – the only colour option available in India – which gives the phone a classy, understated look and feel. However, it still feels very ‘boxy’, and maybe rounded corners could ha addressed this.

Long-time Sony users will also note that the button layout on the right has been changed and the volume rocker is now above the power button. What’s unchanged is that the power button still houses the fingerprint sensor, which works quite well. You also still get a dedicated camera button towards the bottom of the right edge.

Sony has made some changes at the back. While the camera module is still in the top-left corner, the dual-LED flash is now to its right instead of just below as it was on the Xperia XZs. The Xperia XZ1 retains the USB Type-C port, and to the relief of many, the 3.5mm headphone jack as well.

Overall, despite these minor changes, it’s clear that the Xperia design language has been showing its age for a while now, and is badly in need of a major revamp. Sony executives have indicated we could get it soon, but as of today this phone looks dated compared to what other manufacturers are putting out there.

The Sony Xperia XZ1 has the same 5.2-inch display seen on the Xperia XZs but the new panel borrows a feature from the bigger, more expensive Xperia XZ Premium. The screen resolution is still full-HD so you don’t get 4K – which would be overkill for a screen of this size in any case – but the Xperia XZ1 does support HDR. If you watch a lot of videos on your smartphone and can find the right content – services like Netflix and Amazon Prime Video, in addition to YouTube, have a small but growing collection of HDR videos – this can improve the experience.

The difference is especially noticeable when you watch an HDR video on a panel that doesn’t support HDR side by side with a smartphone like the Xperia XZ1. While HDR by itself is not reason enough to change your smartphone – unlike a high-end TV, where you’d likely want HDR support – it’s definitely a nice bonus.

Like other Sony smartphones, the Xperia XZ1 lets you pick from three modes that impact the colour gamut and contrast ratio used to display on-screen content. The Standard mode that is selected by default offers fairly neutral colours. You can opt for the Professional mode to use the sRGB colour gamut for a more accurate, though muted colour appearance, or the Super-vivid mode, which makes the colours appear brighter, but to us this looked really over-the-top and unnatural.

The panel on the Xperia XZ1 has excellent viewing angles and gets sufficiently bright without being overly reflective – we didn’t have any issues when using the phone outdoors in direct sunlight. Gorilla Glass 5 is included as well.

Sony Xperia XZ1 specifications, performance, and battery life

The Sony Xperia XZ1 is powered by the Snapdragon 835 SoC – the standard for nearly all Android flagships of this generation, and the only major change in specifications compared to the Xperia XZs. There’s 4GB of RAM and 64GB of storage, of which around 54.5GB is available for your use out of the box. You can add up to 256GB of storage using a microSD card, though that means you will have to give up on the second SIM. 4G and VoLTE are supported, though LTE can be active on only one SIM at any given time.

As you’d expect from a phone of this class, we did not experience any issues in terms of day-to-day performance, and benchmark numbers for the Xperia XZ1 were similar to what we’ve seen with other Snapdragon 835-powered phones. Thankfully, the phone does not suffer from the heating issues that plagued the Xperia XZs and the Xperia XZ while recording 4K video or running other processor-intensive tasks. The phone is rated to be IP65/ 68 water- and dust-resistant.

The Xperia XZ1 features stereo speakers that sound good, but had us wishing they were a little bit louder. Like many other Sony phones, this model also supports a bunch of features for audiophiles, such as High-Resolution audio, LDAC-enhanced Bluetooth, aptX, and more.

Sony is pushing the 3D scanning capabilities of this smartphone as one of its headline features. Using only the primary camera – no dual camera setup here – the preloaded 3D Creator app lets you scan various types of objects: Face, Head, Freeform, and Food; each with a different preset mode of its own within the app. The idea is to let you grab 3D models of different kinds of objects, and then print them from your smartphone if you have access to a 3D printer, which obviously isn’t the case for most people.

You can also use them as 3D avatars on social media, or as AR effects within the Camera app. In practice though, the first step itself is extremely hard, and despite the hand-holding by the app in the form of tutorials – we found 3D scanning to be a big chore. Results were unreliable if we strayed even a little bit from what we were expected to do, which we did all the time thanks to the complexity involved. We asked a couple of other colleagues to test the feature out, and they came back reporting similar experiences.

The Xperia XZ1 insists on restarting every time you fiddle with your SIMs, a problem that’s existed with Sony phones for quite a while now. We realise this bothers people like us who swap SIMs constantly a whole lot more than regular folks, but, just like the design, this is an area where Sony seems to be stuck in the past.

The Xperia XZ1 has a 2700 mAh battery and we had no trouble going through an entire day with a bit of juice still left at the end. In our HD video loop battery test, the phone lasted 10 hours and 40 minutes before shutting down, which is in line with what you’d expect from a battery of this size. The Xperia XZ1 comes with the Sony UCH12 charger that supports the Qualcomm Quick Charge 3.0 as well as MediaTek Pump Express 2.0 standards for fast-charging compatible devices. In our testing, the charger topped up the Xperia XZ1’s battery from 0 to 42 percent in 30 minutes, and to 72 percent in another 30 minutes.

Sony Xperia XZ1 software

The Sony Xperia XZ1 was the first smartphone to ship with Android 8.0 out of the box, even before Google’s Pixel 2 duo. Under the hood, the Android Oreo update brings some major changes such as better controls over what apps can do in the background, but there are some new user-facing features as well. You get Google Play Protect, which is designed to scan your device in the background and help keep it safe. While Android Nougat added support for multi-window view – which brought split-screen and ‘floating apps’ to your smartphone – Android Oreo brings native support for the picture-in-picture (PIP) mode, which is designed to be seamless.

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If an app supports PIP mode – and not a whole lot of them seem to do that right now – you just need to press the home button, and the app will then pop out and remain visible on your home screen, or floating above other apps at all times. For example, if you are navigating to some place using Google Maps and just press the home button, it will remain visible in a small window that stays on top no matter what app you launch; even full-screen apps like games.

This is super convenient for the most part – though we found the overlay on games a step too far – and a welcome change from manually triggering multi-window support to run apps side by side, which is rarely useful on phones with regular-sized screens. Most apps, however, don’t support this mode yet – you can go to Settings -> Apps & Notifications -> Advanced -> Special access -> Picture-in-picture on your phone to see which installed apps have PIP support.

Only a handful of apps that ship with the Sony Xperia XZ1 support PIP, and the only one that we found useful in a meaningful way is the one we mentioned before – Google Maps. Google Duo supports PIP, but YouTube treats PIP as background playback, which means only YouTube Red subscribers can use it right now. Bundled apps like Google Photos and Sony’s Video don’t support this at all, so if you want the ability to watch videos in a little pop-up window while you do other things, you will need to download a third-party app like VLC, which has has the option to enable PIP buried in the settings.

There are a few notifications-related improvements as well, including support for badges. When an app has new notifications, a tiny dot appears on top of the app’s icon; developers can customise which notifications show up as badges. Users can long-press an app icon to glance at the notifications associated with a badge in supported launchers. Notifications snoozing lets you dismiss individual notifications for a preset duration – they will show up again once the time is up.

Android Orea’s picture-in-picture mode (left), Autofill framework (centre), and notification badges (right) in action.

The other new feature you might find useful is the addition of the System-wide Autofill framework. This lets your apps use data from your Google account, for example, to autofill personal details, usernames, and passwords you have saved in the browser. Apps can also save passwords to your Google account, so the next time you visit the corresponding website, you won’t need to enter your credentials manually. The Sony Xperia XZ1 comes with SwiftKey as the pre-installed keyboard, though you can of course switch to another if you prefer.

The Best New Features of Android Oreo

The phone utilises Project Treble, Google’s initiative to make it easier and faster for OEMs to roll out software updates, and in the couple of months that we spent with the Xperia XZ1, we noticed that Sony was pretty prompt in terms of pushing out monthly security updates. Apps like AVG Protection (an antivirus app that runs in the background by default) and games like Midnight Pool and Modern Combat 5 are pre-installed on the smartphone and cannot be uninstalled (but can be disabled).

Sony Xperia XZ1 cameras

The primary camera on the Xperia XZ1 uses Sony’s 19-megapixel Exmor RS for Mobile memory-stacked sensor with a a f/2.0 25mm wide-angle G Lens. You get the same Super Slow Motion mode that we first saw on the Xperia XZ Premium where the camera captures video at 960fps for 0.184 seconds, which becomes 5.9 seconds of footage. The camera also packs Predictive Capture, which promises to detect and “capture motion and smiles before you even click”; 5-axis image stabilisation; and 4K video recording.

All this combines to give images that look quite good on the phone’s display, especially when there’s plenty of light. Zoom in to full size and you’ll notice that the images have some amount of noise and lack the details that other flagship phones can capture, though most users will be fairly happy with the Xperia XZ1’s results. Unsurprisingly, noise proved to be a bigger problem in low-light conditions, and image quality fell well short of the performance we have seen from the leading smartphone cameras.

Tap to see full-sized Sony Xperia XZ1 camera samples

However, given the Sony Xperia XZ1’s pricing, it’d be unfair to expect it to compete favourably with the likes of the iPhone 8 and Google Pixel 2, which cost a whole lot more (the latter when it’s not being discounted). Overall, the camera you get on the Xperia XZ1 is fairly in line with the price you pay, with performance better than that of OnePlus 5T and Mi Mix 2 which cost a fair bit less, but lesser than what you get from the more expensive flagships.

Super Slow Motion mode is a nice feature for the Sony Xperia XZ1 to boast about on paper, but the resulting 720p video looks extremely grainy – even on the phone’s screen – and we wouldn’t really want to use it anywhere. On the other hand, we quite liked the results from Predictive Capture, a feature that automatically saves the moments just before you press the shutter key, taking some pressure off you when trying to capture the ‘perfect’ shot. You can later go and see all the shots associated with a particular photo, and keep only the one(s) you like. We imagine this will be particularly useful when you are taking pictures of pets or kids, or at sporting events with fast-moving action.

As you can see from the sample shot below, if it wasn’t for Predictive Capture – which is a setting in the Camera app that’s turned on by default – we would’ve ended up with an unusable image. However, unlike Apple’s Live Photos there doesn’t seem to be a way to force Predictive Capture off or on, and it seemed to kick in on occasions when we didn’t expect it – like when capturing frames with no moving objects – and didn’t when we were trying to shoot moving traffic, for example, which might limit its utility.

If it wasn’t for Predictive Capture, all we would’ve got is the shot on the bottom-right.

The rear flash on the Xperia XZ1 isn’t very powerful but the display-powered front ‘fill flash’ does a satisfactory job when you are taking selfies. Speaking of the front camera, the resultant images are good enough for use on Facebook even though the colours appear a bit washed out. You do get the option to wave your hand while looking at the front camera in order to trigger the shutter, which can be useful in certain situations.

4K video recording and 5-axis image stabilisation on the rear camera work satisfactorily. The Camera app is the same that we’ve seen on other Sony phones, with the option of diving into a full Manual mode if needed.

Verdict There’s a lot to like about the Sony Xperia XZ1 – it has a good display with HDR support, excellent performance, decent battery life, a camera that’s good enough for many people, and Android Oreo backed by what has so far been a decent record of regular updates. What this phone really lacks is a standout feature – like the cameras on the Pixel 2 series or the design/ display of Samsung’s flagships – that could help it grab attention in an extremely crowded market. As we’ve said several times now, the Xperia design language is crying out for a refresh, and one hopes for Sony’s sake that it arrives at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona next month.

If you aren’t put off by the design – and to be fair to the Xperia XZ1, the metal finish is definitely an improvement over its predecessors – you could buy this Rs. 44,990 phone and be fairly happy with it. Alternatively, you could consider the Nokia 8, which costs a fair bit less than the Xperia XZ1 but offers similar performance and stock Android as well as better battery life. Though it lacks HDR support, the Nokia 8’s display offers deeper blacks and is one of the best LCD panels out there. You would, however, miss out on IP65/ 68 water- and dust-resistance and have to settle for a camera that’s a tiny bit inferior.

More importantly, with February nearly here, a new wave of flagships is just around the corner – possibly a successor to the Xperia XZ1 as well – and you might want to wait and see what’s in store. If patience is not your thing, some of the best phones of 2017 are available at significant discounts compared to their launch prices, and one of them might fit your requirements.

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