#There are other recurring things that came up in ch 12 but I don't want to point them out yet cause I feel like it's spoilers

[sixofbows]

i would love it if you posted all the callbacks in black magic that relates to the line of wanting him all to herself, ngl. 😫 i’m just so !!!!! over them.

Hello!! Here are some notes on Ch 12:

Something to always keep in mind is the first lines of Chapter 1. I like the essence of all of my stories to be found in their first chapter: the themes, plot, imagery, etc. This is a story about how things in our lives can look different when we look back on them as we grow, and how things that we were told or thought were wrong or right turned out to be kind of gray after we've gained perspective:

Her brother lied; that much was apparent to her later.  It was difficult at times for Spencer to keep track of things like that when she was small and new to the world. To sort actions into neat boxes, black and white, wrong and right.

The contrast in Calvin opening up about his past

Calvin in Ch 4, the first time he was vulnerable with her about his past:

Spencer let her head drop back and her hair spill over the back of the sofa as she looked up at Calvin—her whole world, upside down. "Yeah." She thought she detected a bit of fondness in his expression at this angle; perhaps she needed this shift in perspective. Shake up the magic 8 ball before asking the question, Alan had once told her.   

Re: Alan advising her to shake up the magic 8 ball before asking the question. Spencer asks Calvin more questions in Korea in Ch 12:

(She asked him so many questions now. He answered her so much more thoroughly now. She wondered which came first.)

Calvin in Korea in Ch 12, after Spencer has seen his bare roots:

It was like he viewed her upside down, from a fresh perspective here on the other side of the world, and found a new fondness there. 

The difference when it's "just the two of us/them" over time

Ch 2, the first time the concept forms in Spencer's mind:

Spencer nodded. The two of us. She weighed the new words in her mind. 

1a. Ch 6:

Spencer liked it best when Jin had to go pick up his daughter, when Jack and Jessie opted to cook dinner at home; when it was just the two of them. When she stuck to Calvin's elbow as he pointed out things he thought she might like, the salt of exertion lingering on his skin. 

1b. Ch 12:

Calvin had been doing that lately, ever since they left Daegu, ever since it was truly just the two of them—letting her hang onto him, in public no less, allowing her hunger to seep through her small, greedy fingers, the tip of her nose seeking his warmth even as sweat trickled down her back from the humid summer air.

2a. Ch 7:

Things are simpler now, Spencer thought, when it was just the two of them again. Calvin smiled at her like he always did—like she was the focal point of his universe in real time, like the present sight of her warmed him from the inside out, the heat radiating back to her so she could feel it high on her cheeks. She could expect that every day without ever being disappointed.  Like it's easy. "Ready, Spenny?" She smiled back. "Mhmm." "Alright, let's go home."

2b. Ch 12:

"Ready, Spenny G?" he murmured. She soaked that in as well. Spenny girl. Smiled sweetly, tilted her chin, so that if he moved by mere degrees, he could have taken her earlobe between his teeth. "Mhmm, Calvin." Spencer longed to take a picture. Plant her palm casually on the counter next to Calvin's, holding up her phone with her other hand, her elbow tucking over his hand on her waist. I'll draw it later, she decided. An illustration could be just that—a fabrication. Not evidence. Not when Calvin clearly did not want evidence; her phone remained in her back pocket as two of his fingers dipped below her ribs, brushing the soft, sensitive skin of her exposed abdomen. Spencer inhaled reflexively, and she could see the white of his teeth as he smiled—it was his goddamn knowing one, and she hoped to a god-she-never-believed-in that he would whisper something into her ear— His hand left her as he stepped back, still smirking, her skin still burning. "Alright, let's go."

3a. Ch 9:

"What's finally hitting you?" Spencer asked, hardly breathing. The pad of his thumb brushed over her knuckles. "That I'll have to share my Spenny with the rest of the world," Calvin said quietly, so that only the two of them could hear. 

3b. Ch 12:

"But I want to be so fucking selfish with you. God, I want you all to myself, Spenny." Calvin sounded anguished. Like every word spoken was twisting some blade. Blades of steel, grass, and obsidian glass. 

And finally, some misc things in Ch 12: Calvin's hat changes from white to gray to black, continued traffic light imagery, Spencer associating Calvin with crystalline structures like salt, glass, and rock