#There are no actual historical accounts of the Warden's adventures because no one actually believes them

[ladyofsnark]

Varric: A giant hole in the sky.

Warden: A cult who thought Andraste was reincarnated as a dragon and guarded the temple containing her ashes.

Varric: Blighted lyrium that turns people to stone and makes shit float around.

Warden: A dragon made of lightning

Varric: ... That breathed lightning?

Warden: That too.

Varric: ... A Qunari invasion. Two of them.

Warden: A forest of sentient trees inhabited by a tribe of werewolves that are the product of a curse laid down by a Dalish Keeper

Varric: You're just making this up now.