#Their inside joke is “don't get your tentacles in a twist”

[jeeaark]

sooooo .. We can has GG X Emps X Lae'zel :3

Cosmic sandwich anyone?

But also Original Greyg don't need no polyamory mod! They're doing just fiiiinnnne in the future.

Lae'zel as negotiating ambassador occasionally gets complicated though.

[hazbincalifornia]

StellAstor#27 👶🍼

He leaned against his microphone as she fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

"Now, what is this vital information that you just had to tell me in private? It's not like you to be fussy about this sort of thing, at least not to me. If there's scandal about, my dear, I'd like to hear about it!"

She sucked in a breath, holding it for a moment before letting it out. "I'm pregnant."

There was an auditory record scratch and an eye twitched slightly as he tilted his head, raising a hand to one ear. "Pardon?"

"I'm... pregnant."

Alastor stared for a moment before breaking into a cackle, the laugh track following. "Oh, that's a good one! You almost had me fooled for a moment- so serious!"

"I'm not joking."

"Eheheh- heh?" The laughter tapered off as her face remained stony. "Are you suggesting you cheated on me?"

"If I did, I hardly think I'd be telling you, would I?" She raised an eyebrow. "No, it was a magic thing. Trying to implant foreign magic into yourself using an ancient spellbook that translated shit weird is a bad idea, it turns out, who could have guessed?"

"So, you're pregnant," he echoed. "Is it mine, then?" She nodded, and he bounced his leg, heel tapping on the floor. "This is- hmm. Well! I must say, this wasn't what I expected when I woke up this morning, but I suppose this is the kind of twist one should expect after things have just started settling, isn't it?" His voice was starting to twist and distort around the edges, and she grimaced.

"Look, I figured I'd ask you first, I'd... I'd be willing to keep it, but I don't know, we've never talked about this-"

"-Because it was quite impossible, I'm well aware, dear!" He spun the microphone around, pressing it firmly against his back as he paced, and she could feel the air pressure in the room drop. "You're certain it's mine, and you're not just trying to cover-"

"Well, it's not anybody's but yours, I haven't slept with anybody other than you in years," she replied, tail swishing from side to side as she crossed her arms, tucking them tightly against her breasts.

"You said it was a magical incident. How do you know it won't simply kill you? Twist your organs inside out?"

She rolled her shoulders. "I don't. I figure if I keep it I'll do some more research to make sure it doesn't. I've got a fair amount of magical resistance from the blueblood half of me, I'll manage. Probably."

"Oh, yes, that's very reassuring," His voice was far too perky, leaning into his persona as he shoved his mask back on by force and getting an 'oooo' from the unseen crowd. "You might survive, probably, now how can I resist that? Brilliant, Stella, what an absolute showstopper right here!"

"If you help, I'll be fine, and if I'm not, we'll deal with it, I just wanted to know what you'd say! Look, do you want it or not? If you don't, we can just end this now." Her tail wrapped around the mic, which squeaked out 'lemme go!' as she yanked it towards her stomach. "Just flush it out, problem solved."

"Now, I never said that either, don't go putting words in my mouth, and don't go touching my things either." He snapped the microphone back, and they glared at each other for a few moments before his posture sagged, ever-so-slightly. "I need to think."

"Al..." She reached forward, and a tentacle emerged from the floor, encircling her wrist.

"Out."

"Alastor, I-" Another tentacle shot up, shoving at her back as the first yanked her forward hard enough to almost dislocate her arm. This time when he spoke, it was barely recognizable as words, jumbled and backwards and forwards at the same time, layered over itself.

"Out."

She got out.