#The uncle in Spain who isn't connected to us much... something happened when je was younger

[amerasdreams]

There is an awful tendency in human nature to sometimes put the burden on the victim instead of the perpetrator. Like, you cannot be punished unless you must've done something wrong. It is perhaps an instnct but it doesn't work in a world that is full of abusers. Abusers may blame their victim but they really have no "good" reason for abuse. They may disguise it as punishment but it's really only done to boost their own egos-- a very evil thing to cause pain to make yourself feel better. There is no justification for this. And when people say the victim was in some way "asking for it" or they made a mistake that put them in thr path of the abuser so they in some way "deserve" it-- no. It is always the fault of the abuser. They could easily avoid such things. There is no excuse for such behavior. We must not enable abuse by loading more shame on the victim rather rather the abuser. It's the victim who was traumatized, the victim who needs help, who needs all the help they can get, not dismissed, not made fun of, not left in a place where the abuser can keep hurting them.