#The big question is whether it's Don's actual IQ

[tmntkiseki]

According to Raphael, Don has an IQ of 637

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[contadorharrison]

Tales of a sapiosexual hornbag

When I met a hornbag in the nabe, she was donning a T-shirt emblazoned with the words ‘I’m Sapiosexual’ which drew my curiosity on why she thinks or feels like that. Of cause I know her for ages but never expected that from her. I started by asking her what the word means, she was super fast to educate me on the subject. In her own words, a person who is sapiosexual is sexually attracted to intelligence in others. While intelligence is generally anatural and common factor in human attraction, the sapiosexual concept takes that attraction to a new level. It's not just a bonus in a potential partner, it's a requirement. It's not just sexy, it's the ultimate turn-on. For avoidance of doubt, she showed me all her social media bios that read “Proud Sapiosexual.” She explained sapiosexual  is a neologism word that has come into common usage especially on social networking sites where some people are self-identifying as sapiosexual. The origins are from Latin root sapien, wise or intelligent, and Latin sexualis, relating to the sexes. I personally came across the the term ‘sapiosexual’ three years ago via a female friend who lives in Hobart and since then I have just found it to be a theatrical term. At the time, the majority of people using the term were doing so ironically in memes and on social media as a way to critique and mock the intelligentsia. However now, there are a rising number of peopletaking on the term without a hint of irony to the point of it gaining mainstream traction and the rise of the sapiosexual inevitable.The wannabe sapiosexual, just like as many have pointed out, said sapiosexual isn't, by definition, an actual sexual orientation, which refers to sexual attraction based on gender. Rather, it's a very strong sexual preference that goes beyond just being into smart people. Sapiosexual is a way people express their desire for, and attraction to, intelligent people. However, it's also a misrepresentation of the term sexual orientation and maybe a fancy way of being pretentious without coming right out and saying it. The problem, however, is that when we chatting about the word, we did not seems to be able to agree on what it actually means. Anecdotally, she claimed to have talked to a handful of different people who described sapiosexuals as everything from people who are attracted to the mind to sex perverts.Withthat in mind, I take the buzzword with a bit of skepticism because it's not an actual orientation but rather a way to basically say, if you're smart, let's have a root but, we get it. Smart whatever definition one may have, is indeed sexy.I asked her whether if she she find herself lusting after minds instead of bodies and philosophical debates as her favorite kind of foreplay, whether she will relate to the sapiosexuals out there, to my surprise, she couldn’t respond convincingly and thats when I felt she was just a wannabe sapiosexual trying to look updated and sophisticated. We live in societies where we have come to expect that most people are turned on by social media images of heaving breasts falling out of too tight tops or big packages in small pants or any one of a thousand obvious visual cliches. But for some people like myself, this isn’t the case at all. Personally I dont care how a female species looks, I dont even care whether she has a job or not becauseI’ve always known that the one thing that gets me very excited and aroused is the intelligence, and sometimes even the mystery around someone’s intelligence. Thats why I finds intelligent female species to be the most attractive to me.

Back to conversation, hornbag asked me what I connect most with and value most, of cause my answer was intelligence which wasn’t the exact reasons she considers herself as sapiosexual. I understand as an aging bloke in his 30s that identifying as sapiosexual has also become trendy on social media, with plenty of pages dedicated to it and countless memes describing the sexual pleasure that comes from intellectual stimulation.For me, I think it pretentious, and reductive approach for those considering themselves assapiosexuals without convincingly telling us what they stand for.Sound confusing? I certainly think so. If you’re the kind of person that sees intelligence as the trait of all traits, you could be a sapiosexual according to the hornbag. Or at least to some extent. While at first glance it can seem a little clinical, hornbag think that sapiosexuality is just about high IQ. But for me, I feel it’s about engaging in meaningful conversations, bonding over shared interests and sharing ou life with someone who enriches it for the better.Sapiosexuality has justifiably seen criticism for its label as a sexual orientation notably because part of attraction has always been about peoples minds. It's not rare or worth defining as a separate category. Of course many of us find ourselves drawn to people who are smart and quick-witted and motivated and driven, that's just a quintessential part of who we are. The crucial difference between definition and the widespreadunderstanding is that intelligence is a key source of arousal for sapiosexuals, rather than a sexuality. This isn’t to say their arousal hinges solely on intelligence, but it forms a significant part of what turns on a sapiosexual. It’s also not quite a kink. I think its a preference of arousal.What I saw in hornbag thinking is making it a sexual orientation and it’s not. Irrespective of differences in our definitions of what the word means, one of the main criticisms of sapiosexuality and the people that claim to identify as such is that it’s ableist and discriminating against people based on factors that are out of their control. Not everyone has the privilege of accessing quality education, or the kind of education that would result in the high levels of intelligence that most people associate with sapiosexuals.For me, when it comes to female friends, I believe intelligence manifests in lots of different ways and people using sapiosexuality as a selection criterion reinforces problematic hierarchies based in ableism andelitism. I told her that sapiosexuals are people who are genuinely turned on by intelligence that goes beyond traditional education but for the wannabe sapiosexual hornbag, the reality is using it as a filter like, ‘that you have to be really smart if you want to be with her’. It’s really like, she start to feel arousal in her body.” I was left with a question, how a hornbag like her measures intelligence of a bloke. Although am an aging tricenarian, I do know intelligence comes in lots of different forms, some people are whip brilliant, others are fantastic artists and awful with their communication skills, but they take such an intelligent approach to their profession and how they live. So if she were to pick a bloke, or rule them out because of their communication limitations, it is pretty ableist and it’s also a lost opportunity.My elementary teacher used to say that sex is more than just our genitals doing things, it’s a whole body thing. And the fact is, the physical stuff isn’t enough to get anyone aroused. One has to cultivate thatconnection. Listening to the hornbag it was clear just like so many youngsters who hardly reads books does not know that intelligence takes many forms across cultures and for her to simply understand it as a monolithic, easily measurable attribute is utter nonsense.The world we live in is diversified, there are those who understand intelligence as I do, but there are also those who understand it in the social media angle or the elitist side of it and like my neighbor whom I’m sure will read this article, end up using the term sapiosexual to signify superiority in social media sphere.