#The Everly Brothers its like 'oh that Cathy!'

[thewalrusespublicist]

Cathy's Clown John Lennon demo having me in a chokehold yet again.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1960

Under the cut.

Marty Robbins – “El Paso” -- January 2, 1960

Why have I heard this song a lot? It's not my parents' kind of thing, or my grandparents'. Anyway, this time the narrator is the murderer. He killed another man out of jealousy that a woman, who might not even be his woman, had a drink with the other man. It's a pretty okay old-fashioned country song, but it'd be better in Fallout: New Vegas.

Johnny Preston – “Running Bear” -- January 18, 1960

This. Thing. Is. An. Abomination. Fake tribal chants. Through the entire thing. They form the beat. And then there's a swing trumpet. And it's about a Romeo and Juliet situation, but the singer sounds like he thinks he's singing a goofy novelty song. I didn't know this song existed, and now I have to re-evaluate what I think the worst #1 is. I think this one takes the spot from "Having My Baby."

Mark Dinning – “Teen Angel” -- February 8, 1960

No, not Earth Angel, sadly. This guy's girlfriend ran to the railroad tracks to get his high school ring and got squished. He doesn't sound all that broken up about it. He doesn't sound capable of feeling any emotions, really. Very bad song.

Percy Faith – “Theme From A Summer Place“ -- February 22, 1960

It's a pretty instrumental, but a bit too gloopy for me. I looked up "A Summer Place," assuming based on the music it would be a light and frothy movie about young people in love. Uh... not really. But it ends happily. Also it has a message about not condemning young people for having sex, so that's good.

Elvis Presley – “Stuck On You” -- April 25, 1960

Though his voice sounds cartoonish to me, Elvis still feels like a breath of fresh air compared to most of what he's surrounded by. In 1960, he had more oomph than nearly anyone else on the charts. Anyway, you've heard this one. It's fine.

The Everly Brothers – “Cathy’s Clown” -- May 23, 1960

This one still got radio play on the oldies stations when I was a kid. It's got a beat, the music and beat change up, and the narrator sounds appropriately bitter after a bad break-up. I wouldn't seek it out, but I wouldn't change the station either.

Connie Francis – “Everybody’s Somebody’s Fool” -- June 27, 1960

Here we go, someone besides Elvis with a real spark. The narrator can't seem to leave this person who keeps cheating on her, and she sings that someday, her cheating lover will find someone they truly care for who will be untrue, and then they'll understand what she's going through. She sounds pretty happy about it. It's not Connie Francis' best song (that's "Who's Sorry Now"), but it's not at all bad.

The Hollywood Argyles – “Alley Oop” -- July 11, 1960

Oh right, I forgot for a moment, I hate 1960. This song is dumb. It knows it's dumb and revels in it, and I hate it.

Brenda Lee – “I’m Sorry” -- July 18, 1960

The narrator didn't realize it was cruel to play with other people's feelings until her own heart was broken. Possibly she was the girlfriend of the narrator of "Everybody's Somebody's Fool"? The song isn't as good though, mostly because of the spoken word section, which is cringe-inducing.

Brian Hyland’s “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” -- August 8, 1960

I can't believe I'm only up to August of this stupid, stupid year. When does Motown get here already? Ugh. Stupid, leering, creepy novelty song.

Elvis Presley’s “It’s Now Or Never” -- August 15, 1960

Good, it's Elvis again. Except this is a huge slice of fromage. Elvis was better than this. His belting is impressive, but it should be in a better song. I'm bored. Elvis was never one of my faves, but he should also never be boring. I hate this year.

Chubby Checker’s “The Twist -- September 19, 1960

THANK YOU GODS AND LITTLE FISHES. You know this song. You've danced to this song. This song is truly great. Possibly the rest of 1960 up to now had to suck so much for this song to come out.

Connie Francis – “My Heart Has A Mind Of Its Own” -- September 26, 1960

Did Connie Francis ever sing about anything but heartbreak? She can't get over someone who loves her. She doesn't seem too broken up about it this time. There are lots of mariachi horns. I can't associate mariachi horns with heartbreak. It could have been a good song, but Connie Francis' total nonchalance and the mariachi horns make it pretty bad.

Larry Verne – “Mr. Custer” -- October 10, 1960

This is supposed to be funny. It's a racist novelty song that seems to hate everyone and everything. I return the sentiment. Put this one in the bin with "Little Bear." Cripes 1960 sucked.

The Drifters – “Save The Last Dance For Me” -- October 17, 1960

Okay, all of 1960 didn't suck. There were a handful of very good songs among the dreck, and this is one of them. The narrator is happy that his wife (likely) is dancing with other guys, he just wants to remind her who she's going home with. It's got a nice Latin beat, good violins, and a singer who shows actual emotion. And the emotion isn't a simplistic one; he sounds totally happy that his wife is having fun flirting and dancing with other guys. But he knows that sometimes people get swept up in the moment and make mistakes. He's cheerful, not nagging or possessive. I like it.

Brenda Lee – “I Want To Be Wanted” -- October 24, 1960

A teenage song about wanting a boyfriend who adores her. It's... okay. I would probably have identified with it hugely when I was 15. Though I would have scoffed at how dated it sounds. I'm more tolerant of how it sounds musically now. But, though I understand the sentiment, it's still pretty overwrought. I guess now that I'm middle-aged and I've got what she wants my main feeling is that she needs to calm down and live her life rather than obsessing over finding the perfect person to spend a million years with when she's still a kid.

Ray Charles – “Georgia On My Mind” -- November 14, 1960

Aah that's the stuff. What is there to say about Ray Charles' version of this song? How do you describe perfection? Moonlight through the pines. This must have been a revelation at the time. It still is.

Maurice Williams And The Zodiacs – “Stay” -- November 21, 1960

"Oh won't you staaaay." I can't listen to this song without trying to sing along, and making my throat hurt in the process, as I'm an alto and I can't reach those falsetto notes. It's a fun song and a classic. Maybe Ray Charles fumigated 1960 and now it will be good?

Elvis Presley – “Are You Lonesome Tonight?” -- November 28, 1960

Yes! Elvis was a dramatic singer, and this is a dramatic song. Like everyone with an instinct for dramatic performance, he knew that true drama is often found in quiet and contemplation. He's soft throughout, and only half-belts at the end. There's a spoken word interval, but it's the kind of song in which you've already been seduced, so it's enjoyable. Plus Elvis knows how to speak it -- no embarrassment at all. Excellent. This is the kind of song that makes me understand Elvis mania.

BEST OF 1960: "Georgia On My Mind"  WORST OF 1960: There is an embarrassment of putrescence here. At the end, it's a tie between "Running Bear" and "Mr. Custer."