#The Best Apple Collector; {Applejack}

[sugaranspikes]

because I’m getting excited about bronycon (august, baby!!), have a brony au with our favorite boys!

(and please, no hating on mlp or bronies, this is just for fun)(also, warning: super long!!)

the boys all got into mlp at various times.  it was kind of like dominos - once one started watching it out of curiosity by it’s popularity, another one would catch them in the act.  chirps would inevitably ensue, but days later the theme song would be heard, barely at a possible decibel for the human ear, from the same guy’s room.  and on it went, until a lecture from a very loud, drunk shitty about society’s expectations on men and saying “fuck you” to the system forced them to ponder on their shame for watching a show for little girls.  they came to the conclusion - who the fuck cares?  they were allowed to enjoy whatever they wanted as long as it didn’t hurt anybody, and it was a good show.  this allowed them to get more comfortable with the idea and finally watch the show together in the living room on saturday mornings.

eventually when they become big enough fans, they realize bronycon is happening in baltimore, maryland - a mere 6 hours from samwell! (boston, really).  and of course, if they’re going to be going, they need to create cosplays!!

obviously, bitty is the quintessential pinkie pie.  with his zest for life, baking, and parties galore, he embodies her persona.   in his pink short shorts, pink button down over a cutie mark t-shirt, and ridiculously patterned knee socks, he zips around the convention like a butterfly, charming everyone he meets.  he also brings pies to share with the convention-goers that don’t want to pay $10 for a piece of pizza.  he likes to go the social media forums such as Equestria Daily as well as the YouTubers, to learn how to make himself an even bigger online presence.  

jack never really got into MLP like everyone else did, but he definitely appreciates the messages.  he watches episodes as background noise to his studying or hockey-play creating, and thinks about the kids he taught in pee-wee hockey and how much they’d like this show.  he’s not entirely sure the names of all the ponies (the pink one is definitely Pinkie Pie, right? And the rainbow one is Rainbow Fast? or something) but the boys beg him to join them and he acquiesces.  they dub him applejack, the down to earth pony who doesn’t take crap from anyone and is as strong as a bull.  he is a great foil to everyone else’s crazy antics, and he’s happy to take as many photos as possible of all the great costumes and crowds.  (and the boys forgive him when he looks at his fake tail tucked into his jeans and asks “who am I again?” mostly because in a cowboy hat and boots he is knocking everyone dead). oh, and freckles, ya’ll.  

lardo, to no one’s surprise, immediately claims rainbow dash.  they all argue for a bit because EVERYONE wants to be rainbow dash, but with a lift of her eyebrow the decision is finalized.  she goes all the way and dyes her hair all the colors of the rainbow, claiming she had wanted to do it for awhile.  she rocks a letterman jacket with rainbow’s cutie mark as well as sneakers and some cute gym shorts.  she goes to the art panels as well as those that teach artists how to break into cartooning and such.  it’s not her usual type of art, but it’s always good stuff to know.  

ransom becomes the show’s star herself, twilight sparkle.  with his anxiety about school and need to be the best in all things education, he is the best to capture twilight’s adorkable nature.  plus, with his connections to everyone on campus and his innumerable facebook friends, he the best candidate for the princess of friendship.  in his purple sweater vest and fake wings he scours the marketplace for rare merchandise.  he is definitely the collector of the group, collecting mostly adult merchandise that should not be played with, such as the funko figurines. seriously, holster once tried to touch them.  he will not make that mistake again.

holster, for his part, makes a great rarity.  he claims to be the “fashionista” of the group, for his part in constantly trying to throw out ransom’s salmon shorts.  everyone loudly disagrees, many stating he has the fashion sense of a white jock, but he holds his head high, dammit!  it also helps that he plays piano, as rarity plays a key-tar in equestria girls.  the group is horribly split between those who think of eqg as canon and those who don’t.  he wears a white suit vest and pants with a purple shirt underneath, and goes to all the forums with the horse-famous as the key speakers because he idolizes them.

shitty, for his part, makes an extremely loud fluttershy.  while not even in the vicinity of the same personality group, he extols fluttershy’s virtues as one of the characters with the most personality development in the show, and will tell anyone who will listen that he is an advocate for the shy and those who feel like doormats.  in a yellow crop top with her cutie mark and a pink skirt, he draws crowds with his soapbox speeches and wild flowing hair.  he likes to go to forums with the show’s creators and directors to ask questions about feminism, the matriarchy, and bronyhood.  and for the love of god do NOT let him out on the streets, because he will confront any scoffing bystander with the question “does this threaten your fragile masculinity?!”

the frogs don’t actually go to bronycon, but the boys coerce them into dressing up as the cutie mark crusaders for a photoshoot before the con.  dex is the long suffering apple bloom, arguably the leader of the group and the one most down to earth.  chowder gets to be the sweet and excitable sweetie belle, while nursey is the talented but disabled scootaloo.  the pictures start out nice, but quickly devolve into pictures of the three of them squabbling and falling over each other in an attempt to tug at each other’s pigtails. so, it actually turned out perfect.

imagine everyone’s surprise when they are walking through the con and come across tango and whisky as derpy and starlight glimmer, respectively. tango gets excited, asking “when did you get here? are you having fun? when did you make your costumes? do you like my costume? I’m derpy!  well technically i’m muffins but I don’t like that they changed the name because it was completely unnecessary-”

whiskey just looks mortified and mutters a gruff “hello.”  the boys sense his discomfort and comment on his outfit, ripped jeans and a t-shirt with starlight’s logo on it.  it's interesting that he’s dressed as one of the most controversial characters on the show, though no one points that out.

and finally, when a few years have passed and jack and kent have become friendly again, kent insists on joining them for the next convention as sunset shimmer.  “it’s ironic and fitting! plus she’s a fucking badass!”  since he and jack are both famous in the NHL now their pictures are taken constantly, kent is not afraid to flirt with the camera.  it’s a controversial topic in the sports world because of the oddity, but he takes it in stride and it goes a long way for help people come to terms with bronies.

after all, what are they but people who are fans of a show with cute ponies, a great message and engaging characters?