#The 'hang on' bit inspired by many viewings of Upstart Crow

[creativenicocorner]

Could you do Stricklake + 58 for the fic ask meme please? :D

Aayy you got it friend! Sorry that it took so long! 

It’s also based on an idea I’ve been sitting on for quite some time, hope that is okay. I know the transition is about as rocky as Strickler, but here we are haha Hope you like puns!! ;]

58) If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen

It started from an idea. A simple small idea while lounging together. Arms cozily around the other. The living room basking in a mix of moonlight through the window, and the light the tv gave off

The pair of them delightfully binging on The Great British Baking Show. 

Barbara sighed and snuggled closer to the crook of Walter’s arm. A wistful sigh mother’s were known to make when thinking of their children. “Jim would have loved to have been on a show like this. Can you imagine the fun he’d have?”

The changeling, now stuck in troll form, gave an understanding nod. Considering Jim’s new condition, cooking would never be the same again for the teen. 

A passion both Barbara (especially Barbara), Walter, and anyone who so much as spent 30 minutes talking with the teen knew Jim possessed. 

Walter pressed a kiss into Barbara’s hairline. “He’d certainly be spectacular in it.” 

“Right? Like imagine him thinking up molds for a cupcake!”

“Hang on.” An idea started to form in Walter’s mind, it was slow forming, but oh, it was forming. “Hang on.” Walter breathed.

“Or Jim,” Barbara giggle snorted while sitting up, and adjusting her glasses. Not entirely hearing Walter. She made a silly face as she gesticulated with her hands, “Jim welding crystalized sugar and making it look like a hotdog.”

“Hang the futtock on!” Grinned Walter sitting up right as well. 

“What? What’s wrong?”

“He still can!”

Barbara gave a puzzled face, and slowly patted Walter’s knee. “Sweetie we tried glamour masks. I don’t really see how-?”

Walter scooped Barbara’s hands into his. His jagged toothy grin as bright as the changeling’s glowing eyes, “It doesn’t have to be a human version! We could do our own version! Here! In Trollmarket- er, FormerTrollmarket…Whatever it’s being called these day! When they next visit!!” 

Barbara smiled like a child hearing the concept of Christmas in July for the very first time. “That’s- That’s!” Barbara gasped and ran a hand through her hair excitedly. “Genius!! Oh my gosh! Walt!”

“I know, I have my moments.” Walter purred toothily. His head giving a slight shake like a deer does when showing off their antlers. 

“Why didn’t we think of this sooner?! It’s - there’s so many junk yards around! And any remaining trolls and changelings could join in!”

“A clash of food cultures. And with Jim’s own human knowledge he’s sure to add a spice of his own.” Barbara snorted and elbowed Walter joyfully. Her head still dancing with the promise of such an idea. “It’s bound to be a fun learning experience for him either way.” Walter, ever the teacher, pointed out. 

“We could call it THE GREAT TROLL BAKE OFF!” Her hands shook with Walter’s as the two practically bounced on the couch with sheer delight. Walter couldn’t stop wheezing cheerfully. Barbara gave no room for further comment, “You’re right!! You’re so right!! Oh this is beautiful! Jim would love it! Oh my GOOOOSH! Who kneeds dough when there’s the auto zone!”

Walter kissed her very deeply at that. Barbara chuckling on as she cupped his stony cheeks. 

“Who can bake, when there’s the emergency break!” snorted Walter between Barbara’s flutter of kisses. He scooped Barbara into his arms. Barbara squealed and kicked her feet in glee. 

A blush started to form as Walter’s mirth filled breathy kisses on her neck both tickled and elated Barbara. 

She bit her lip, and ran a hand through Walter’s hair. Their laughing slowly transforming to chuckles and breathy giggles. A mischievous twinkle in both of their eyes. 

“Is it just me or is it hot in here?” Barbara grinned, curling one of Walter’s wispy locks.

“You know what they say, love. If you can’t stand the heat..”

“Mmm, get out of the kitchen.” Barbara smirked. 

“Mmm, oh dear. That’s a soggy bottom!” said a show runner from the tv. 

They giggled at that, and gently bumped foreheads together. 

Walter returned Barbara’s feet to the earth with a soft squeeze of her hand. 

“We start organizing first thing tomorrow?” offered Barbara with a luxurious stretch. She winced a little as her side felt a little sore from all the laughing. 

“Sounds like a plan, chef.” Smiled Walter as he searched for the remote to turn the tv off. 

After a few more stretches Barbara soon joined in with the search. Occasionally distracting the other with a bottom pinch or two. When the remote was finally found, between the last two pillow cushions ( “How is it always the last two?!” ). 

Walter switched off the tv, and spun Barbara into a dipped kiss, purring, “Now we’re cooking with gas.”

“You sure that’s not just your soggy bottom.”

“Darling, if you can find anything soggy about my bottom-”

“Wweeeeeell.” said Barbara in a high pitched voice. A blush spreading over the bridge of her nose before she could let her dirty joke be said. She tweaked Walter’s rocky rump cheekily. Her hand slipping between the cheeks made for another point she was making. “I’m sure there are ways.”

“Touché.” Walter blushed, straightening. 

“I believe it’s pronounced,” Barbara gave a chef kiss for effect, “Tushy.”

“You’re so right!” Walter swooned, draping a dramatic arm over his forehead. “I’m a fool! An absolute nincompoop!” 

“Alright nincompoowaaa!” The rest was lost to Barbara’s elated squealing at being picked up and hoisted over Walter’s shoulder. The pair of them giggling while pinching the other’s rump all the way to the bedroom. Where it certainly became hotter than hell’s kitchen. 

The following day Barbara and Walter made it their mission to see the Great Troll Bakeoff become a plausible reality.