#That’s too bad. I thought Charlie would be able to help Blitz

[rottmntrulesall]

Don’t tell Charlie that, Blitzø

[doe-eyed-fool]

Fallen {Chapter Eighteen}

Alastor x (Fem)Reader

Warning: Mentions of abuse

I never thought I would give up on what I wanted most, and the realization of what I wanted was unobtainable, only made me feel worse. I was still left with so many questions, and a broken spirit. I hate not knowing, and not being able to remember anything doesn't make things any better.

It only leaves with stress, worry, and an immense amount of guilt. Stressed about my new residence in Hell, worry that I may never return to Heaven, and guilt for whatever I had done to land me here. I shouldn't have to feel any of this. I had felt it hundreds of times when I was alive, death, and being sent to heaven was suppose to erase all of that.

But now, it's like nothing has changed. I still feel so broken.

So, why not say yes to the deal Alastor had made me? Why not learn to become stronger, so I can protect myself against whatever is thrown at me? I'm so tired of feeling helpless. I won't do it anymore, I refuse to.

It's too bad my real appearance was a constant reminder of what I can no longer have.

"Isn't there a way you can make this permanent?" I ask Alastor, not taking my eyes off of my mirror. I had grown somewhat use to my false demonic form, honestly, seeing my true form was near jarring now. "Afraid not dear." Said Alastor.

"Though it is strange...If the good lord threw you out, why not have given you a true demon look to go along with your eternal damnation?" He asks. I furrow my brows. He had a good point. Why didn't God give me a demonic form?

Alastor had mentioned how valuable an angel was down here. How demons would do unspeakable things to get their hands on one, for their own sick desires. Was that part of my punishment? To be toyed with by a bunch of demons forever?

"I don't know." Is all I could say. "I just hate to hide like this. It makes me worried that this can all go away, the second the necklace is removed." Alastor shrugs. "It's the only way I can help you stay hidden in plain sight."

"Alright. Thanks anyway." I tell him. "And...thanks for finding another way." Alastor raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" He asks.

"I was so certain that there was nothing left for me. That I was doomed to never return to Heaven. I was left behind. Forgotten about...I didn't see any point of continuing on. I felt like I did when I was alive all over again..." I explain. "But, you managed to find another way for me. A way to make the best out of a pretty terrible situation. So...Thank you."

Alastor seemed slightly taken back by my words. He cleared his throat before speaking.

"Yes well, can't have someone like you disappearing. I'm quite curious about how you angels work. If I didn't tolerate you as much as I do, I would have already known how angels taste." He says lowly. I chuckle. "You tolerate me?" I swore I heard a record scratch from somewhere. "Do not get use to it. You can go from that to distaste very quickly."

"Can't really say you have a distaste for me, if you've never tasted me." Alastor's grin twitched. "Now listen here-"

"Sorry." I say with a smile. "Thank you Alastor. I tolerate you too." Surprisingly, Alastor smiled softly. "Alright." I sigh. "Where do I start? Becoming a real demon, that is."

"I don't think it will be as easy as you think." Alastor tells me. "Unless you're ready to spill some blood, get blitzed out of your mind, or commit several felonies right this moment...I think we should take things slow. In the meantime, keep up that act of seeking redemption around Charlie and the others. We don't want any of them getting suspicious at your sudden change of heart."

"Right. I still intend to help Charlie too."

"And why's that?" Asks Alastor. "Because, what she's trying to do is so unheard of and pretty much impossible, and yet, I believe in her. I wish it could have worked for me, but I wish even more than it works for her." I tell him.

Alastor shakes his head. "I'm starting to believe your god is a fool to cast out such an innocent and naive person."

I roll my eyes. "Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something else."

"And what would that be?" He asks. "It was about when we were sharing how we both died. I feel like I upset you. You left in quite a hurry." I mutter.

Alastor hums. "Apologies my dear, I didn't mean to come off that way. No, you didn't upset me. Rather, your situation had stirred up some rather unpleasant memories."

"Unpleasant memories?" I repeat. "Oh...uh, you were...?"

"Not only I..." Alastor quickly shut his mouth and cleared his throat. "No need to bring up the past! We have an infante future ahead of us to look forwards to!" His lively tone had returned. "Alastor. It's only me. Who am I to judge?" I say softly.

Alastor fell silent. "But, if you really don't want to, you don't have to say anything." I assure him. Alastor's glance fell away from me, a light sigh left him. "I suppose if we're going to be working together, we might as well be honest."

I stayed quiet, letting him start when he felt comfortable .

"I guess you could say, my childhood wasn't the best. Grew up in a part of town, where my mother and I were treated differently because of the way we looked. And my father was no better, him being part of the problem. But that's not all, he'd tend to take his anger out on my mother almost every day. And when she was beaten near unconscious, and unable to utter a scream...He'd go to me. There were many times, I feared he'd actually kill me." My stomach twisted as I hear him speak.

"Yes, it was like that for quite some time. Until I finally did something about it...It wasn't until my early adulthood, that was finally able to put an end to his abuse...Do you remember when I told you about my first kill? How it is still so fresh in my memory, even after all these years later?"

I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "You never do forget your first kill...especially when it's someone in your own family. I made sure to do it when he was alone, I took him far into the woods near the swamps...I made sure he felt every ounce of pain I could give until his very last breath. Then I threw him into the swamp to be feasted upon by the wildlife that resided there."

"I thought I had finally rid myself and my mother of all the pain he had caused us...But my pain would only grow from there. A month later, my mother had passed. She got sick, and unfortunately, our family was not on the wealthy side. Couldn't afford proper treatment...From that day on...I only grew colder, the killings would pick up later on until I was eventually met with the end of the line."

"I see." I mutter. "I'm sorry that happened to you." Alastor said nothing to that. "Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. I promise, no one but me will know about this." That caught his attention, his left ear twitched and he turned to face me. He opened his mouth to speak, closing it for a moment, then opening to speak again. "Yes well...if you value your life, you'll keep your word." I nod my head.

"I will."

[chaifootsteps]

One thing about Hazbin that makes me sad is that I was so inspired and kind of obsessed with it over covid. I really thought it was going to be the next big thing and had the potential (note: potential) to be an insightful story about redemption and what it means to be "good person." I really was hoping it would do into ideologies and how good is subjective and can be variable, but that doesn't diminish the importance of trying to be the best you can to the world and those around you. I always liked how Charlie's song in the pilot seemed to focus on the plethora of "not to do's" and how being positive will get you into Heaven, which is superfical, but I was so excited to see her grow and understand what it means for someone to be worth redemption and even if they are, would the powers at be allow them into heaven.

Then Helluva Boss happened. And I am actually glad it did, since it really let me check my Hazbin expectation. I genuinly think season 1 had problems, but overall a genuinly okay season. I would have made some/quite a few changes, but it works. Season 2 feels so aimless and no overarching story. Season 1 can semi get away with that because it is the start so things are getting started, but it also had some themes of Moxxie's and Blitz's sense of self and the relationship with Stolas. I really didn't ship Stolitz, since they are not my cup of tea (I find little too creepy sometimes), but I was curious where things were going to go.

I think Hazbin genuinly has Helluva as a blessing and a curse. Hazbin had cracks but overall the pilot is more enjoyable than Helluva in my opinion. There are things I don't like, but I had some hope things would get ironed out for a grand show. Helluva really had me tamper my expectations for what I will see in Hazbin, but it also killed my intrest and excitement. If this is Vivzie at her best, then what is Hazbin. Did rhey have a writers room to critique the story or are we going with Viv's vision. I will say the quality of the show completly depends on how much of a writers room workshopped her ideas. I think she has fantastic ideas and concepts but is poor on the followthrough. It could still have a chance if theg brought writers in to help her.

I also worry that with the amount of time between the pilot and the release Hazbin fans have had more time to read and develope more insightful character and if Helluva is any example, then I worry that we shouldn't expect much from Hazbin.

I also don't think Vivzie has done much late 19th and 20th century history reading, since most of her characters were born, lived, and died then, but it only takes 10 minutes of googling and just wiki (a sourse viv has access to) to see how little research and sense went into some character backstories. You gotta at least know some broad stroked of when there were born, what they were around for at what ages and when they died. Strangly I think Husk is biggest offender, but I bet Alastor the more the show goes on will take the cake. If Mimzie shows up, I bet she's also barely researched since her asthetic and death date don't line up if you want her to be like that when she died. I have been reading for unrelated reasons books of early 20th century history of the US and around the world. I could write paragraphs on the issues of Husk historically and how we barely makes sense or doesn't. I know it's a fictional work, but some of these are bad, and it makes Viv look ignorant. You don't need things to be perfect for your show, and I would implore people to take some creative liberties, since the past is super complicated. However, I shouldn't be able to google questions and read wiki for 10 minutes to destroy your character idea completely since the backstory becomes impossible almost instantly. (HUSK)

Now Helluva is doing something and the show I waited years for I feel might be a dud. I can't say it didn't have positive impacts on my life since it made me curious to try new hobbies that reminded me of the characters. It's dorky but I kept my reasonings to myselr and just enjoyed the activity. I now habe nee friends, hobbies, and skills (and no one knows why I did this).

Anon, are you sure you're not me? Because the covid lockdown was exactly what led to me getting into Hazbin, and then attached enough to ignore Vivzie's stacking red flags for a while. It kept me sane during that miserable summer, which just so happened to coincide with some very difficult fandom stuff. It got me through when my grandma died.

Admitting the show wasn't the one we all dreamed of would have been one thing. Discovering what a tremendously awful person Vivzie is, that was a lot harder.

[golfchillicothe]

TIGER’S BLOG: MY GOAL REMAINS TO WIN

Woods pleased with his showing at Hero World Challenge and looks forward to returning to Riviera By Tiger Woods

I hope you enjoyed the holidays!

I am working hard to sharpen my game for 2017, and my goal is simple: to win. Winning takes care of itself.

This year, I’ll start my season at the Farmers Insurance Open and then head to Dubai for the Omega Dubai Desert Classic. Next up will be the Genesis Open followed by The Honda Classic here at home.

I’m still testing clubs and trying to find the best ball-wood combo. What people don’t realize is that Bridgestone made the Nike golf ball for a number of years. It’s a great ball and making the switch wasn’t that hard. I’m really excited to join the Bridgestone team. For now, I’ll probably stick with some of my old Nike equipment, and use my Scotty Cameron putter. I’m also proud to be working with Monster and look forward to the things we’ll do together.

Returning to Riviera Country Club for the Genesis Open, Feb. 16-19, is going to be great. Although I haven’t competed there since 2006, it’s where I played in my first PGA TOUR event in 1992 at age 16. It’s huge for my foundation and a big test for my TGR Live team, which will run the tournament, because we’re coming home to Riviera with all its history. It was actually the first PGA TOUR event I attended with my dad, which makes it more special.

Unfortunately, I’ve only played well there one time. But I’ve got a guy on my bag, Joe LaCava, and his former guy [Fred Couples] plays well there every year.

Looking back on 2016, the last few months were pretty big.

TGR Design’s first U.S. course, Bluejack National near Houston, was chosen as the No. 1 new private course in the country by Golf Digest and Golf Magazine/Sports Illustrated. I am so excited because it’s a vision of how I think golf should be played. It’s fun and challenging but also very open, making it difficult to lose golf balls. You buy a dozen balls and lose a dozen balls on most golf courses.

I am also excited about the opening of The Oasis Short Course, our new 12-hole par-3 design at Diamante Cabo San Lucas. With this design, I’m trying to go back to my roots. I grew up playing Heartwell, a par-3 course in Long Beach, California. That’s how I got introduced to golf.

Golf now is almost impossible to play in less than five hours, so why don’t we open things up? We can play faster and have more fun in an entertaining environment — like a short course — where everyone can participate, practice and learn the game, and kids can play without being overwhelmed by a big golf course.

I’m also looking forward to the work we’ll do in Chicago at the Jackson Park and South Shore Courses. It’s a challenging project that should be a lot of fun too.

It’s hard to believe my foundation turned 20 this fall. I know Pop would be very proud of what we’ve accomplished. I believe we’re changing the world one child at a time through education, and I’m grateful to all my friends and supporters who gathered at the New York Public Library to help me celebrate this milestone. My good friend Phil Knight joined me on stage, and we bantered about golf and my plans to expand the foundation globally. It’s one of those nights I’ll never forget.

I thought what I did at the Hero World Challenge was a positive step. I just need to keep building off that and eliminate the simple mistakes I made. Being away from the game that long, I made some really dumb errors I don’t normally make, and it cost me. On top of that, I got a couple bad breaks and didn’t recover from them. My good stuff was really good, which is a great sign.

That first tee shot was a little weird to me because it was left to right, and the wind was howling off the left. I had just seen Matt Kuchar slice the ball into the desert on the right, and he never misses a fairway. I decided to go for a low, pull-cut up the left side and hit a straight money ball right between the bunkers.

From there, I had a pitching wedge from 150. I played for a flyer and it came out perfectly. From then on, I was fine. I was back at a tournament again, no problem, no issues. At the second hole, I stuffed it in there and felt comfortable the rest of the way.

The only doubt I had was the physicality of the round — the length and duration — because I hadn’t been able to practice or play much golf. I got sick just before Thanksgiving and lost about 10 pounds. All three of us [my children Sam and Charlie] got blitzed by a virus, and it kicked our butts. I didn’t know how much energy I would have, and I ran out of gas all four days.

That was my biggest concern. If I just had to play the event, totally cool. But I had to host and do a bunch of other things outside the normal golf tournament, which is fine, but draining.

Shooting 65 in the second round felt great, but more than anything, keeping my card clean meant the most. The fact that I didn’t drop a shot that day showed I had come a long way.

I want to give special thanks to Hero and its Chairman, Managing Director and CEO Pawan Munjal, Tavistock, all the members and staff at Albany, my foundation and the TGR Live staff. They went over and above.

I know many people doubted whether I would play competitive golf again, and to be honest, even I wasn’t sure. A year ago at Hero, I was asked the question and gave a completely different answer. But after a year of working harder than I’ve ever worked to get back, I knew it was possible.

My love for the game never left. It’s just that the body would not allow me to play. Now my body is allowing me to do it again. Combine that with the amount of support I have received from so many people, and the help I’ve had from players and friends, and there is great reason for optimism.

I was overwhelmed by the guys on our Ryder Cup team. The old guard knew me, but not the younger guys. They didn’t know what to expect because they had never been in a team room with me. But the way they treated me and the excitement they had for me being out there on the golf course watching them play … it was inspiring for me to see them go at it like that and do everything they possibly could for one another.

You’d see guys walk to dinner together, eat together and just generally interact, and you didn’t have to tell them. It was a closeness that was more apparent than any other team I’ve been on.

They got me good in the team room Friday night. It was hot, and they all wore these red, white and blue onesies with ‘USA’ on the front, a gift from Rickie Fowler. Zach Johnson stood up and thanked me for my contributions to the game. He had given every player a red T-shirt, which they wore under the onesies. They all stood, unzipped the front, and the T-shirt read, ‘MAKE TIGER GREAT AGAIN.’

Many of them know what I went through because they live in the Jupiter area. Some of their kids go to the same school as my kids, so we see each other quite a bit. They saw me at Medalist trying to make a golf swing and said, ‘Don’t hurt yourself. Wait and be patient. You’re not ready yet.’ So I took their advice until it was go time.

I recently played with President-elect Donald Trump. What most impressed me was how far he hits the ball at 70 years old. He takes a pretty good lash.

Our discussion topics were wide-ranging; it was fun. We both enjoyed the bantering, bickering and needling. I also shared my vision for golf and what I’m trying to do.

We didn’t have a match and played for fun. I was testing drivers and fairway woods, and changed some settings. I think he enjoyed seeing the difference in shots when you experiment.

I’ve now had the privilege of playing golf with Mr. Trump, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, and I appreciate the opportunity.

A shout-out to Stanford football for beating North Carolina in the Sun Bowl and finishing at 10-3. Notah Begay III, my former teammate and close friend, served as honorary captain for the game and did his job.

Finally, I am heartbroken about the injury to Oakland Raiders quarterback Derek Carr, who was having an MVP season. Typical football, next man up. You’re one play away from having a devastating injury, and that’s just the way it is. Hopefully, guys will rally and take it as far as they can. I’ll be pulling for them in the playoffs.

Best wishes for a safe, happy and healthy new year.

Source: Tigerwoods.com

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