#That would've sucked for this post

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Killua and the Power of Wishes

Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.

As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.

One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.

Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.

Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.

Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.

To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.

I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.

Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.

What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.

[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]

This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.

When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.

[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]

It's such an innocent, simple want.

And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.

In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:

Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."

Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)

Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."

And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!

So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.

10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.

Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.

It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.

Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).

"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"

The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.

Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?

Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]

Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.

And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.

This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.

It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.

[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]

I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.

However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.

Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.

[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]

I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.

But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.

Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]

Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?

Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.

[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]

Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".

I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.

...holy shit, kid.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]

And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(

What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.

In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.

Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.

[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]

Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.

Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.

They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:

As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course

Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo

I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.

Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.

The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.

So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.

Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.

It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.

Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.

Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]

Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.

Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.

Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.

And Alluka tears into him for it.

[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]

You tell him, girl.

Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?

"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.

Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.

And neither should Killua.

[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]

It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.

Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.

And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...

[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]

...she doesn't even have to think about it.

I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.

[cupcakewebkinz]

It's almost Easter time babes, you know what this means~

Easter Shellevision.

in my au because fuck you I can do what I want (silly / very not serious at all)

Sorry this took so long to write I definitely got distracted a lot this week with irl issues... And Dandy's World. I'll try to post more often when things settle down again.

If you want me to tag you when I post, just ask! But for rn, @soupiestzilla EAT YOUR FOOD YOU INSPIRED THIS TOO RAHHHH

♡

The two toons were in their room together, getting ready for what Shanon called a 'work event', but the two had their suspicions that this wasn't the whole truth as they usually weren't invited along on these trips. However, Shelly wasn't complaining as she got to wear one of her pretty dresses, and soon turned to look at Vee as she adjusted her lavender dress just a little bit for comfort. It was a simple but pretty and frilly dress, it really made her happy to wear it out finally. Vee was just in one of her usual tuxedos, but she looked over Shelly with a dark blush on her screen.

"My my, I had no idea they invited pretty princesses to a spring picnic." She stated quietly, getting a few giggles from Shelly. She knew she looked pretty, but she highly doubted her simple dress made her look like a princess. But before she could say anything, she watched as Vee grabbed something from her closet before coming over and putting it right on Shelly's head. It was one of her sunhats, which she kept around the house so she could go outside without the sun blinding her screen, but now it was on the fossil's head and Vee was gently adjusting the matching lavender bow on it before she backed away again.

"It fits so well, you can wear it today." Vee stated, then she turned back around and went back to her closet, leaving Shelly a blushing mess as she looked at herself in the mirror. She was right, it did match, but it also smelled like Vee. Shelly carefully took it off and put it against her face, taking in her girlfriend's smell as she relaxed for a moment, though she soon put it back on herself and looked back at Vee. The other was slowly and carefully tying her light purple bowtie, and obviously struggling, so Shelly walked over and gently did it for her.

"There we go, you look like a prince, you know?" Shelly quietly said, getting a fit of giggles in return from the robot. Vee then gently grabbed Shelly's hands and gave one a gentle kiss, then smiled and winked at her.

"Every princess needs a prince to watch over them, silly. Well, in this case, a princess who hates dresses." Vee replied with a mischievous grin, soon giggling as she let go of her partner and going back to her closet.

"We both know you're stronger than me, I don't know why I made that joke." She then stated as she put on a purple hat of her own, which matched her purple suit quite nicely. Shelly just shook her head at her, crossing her arms at that comment. Even though she was right, it was kind of funny regardless, especially since a lot of people assumed Vee was stronger. She wasn't, not by much though. Once Vee was ready though, Shelly gently took her hand and they walked out together, finding Shanon in the living room. She was wearing a black sundress with pink dinosaurs of various species on it, her accessories also being dinosaur themed - just like she usually dresses. She was in front of a mirror, fixing her light red lipstick a little bit, though when the two were there, she smiled and put it away.

"You two look really pretty, I love the matching hats too, adorable!" She complimented, then she sighed as she finished up her makeup before shaking her head to make sure her fancy looking bun stayed in place, then nodded as she grabbed the keys to her car and her red fluffy dinosaur purse. The two simply followed her to the car once she was ready, and they were pretty quiet on the drive there. Mostly because Shelly was admiring Vee being a curious little bean, as she usually did. Vee was always the one to watch the scenery outside and point out pretty things to Shelly, and Shelly would just listen quietly, sometimes pointing things out to Vee instead and watching her look at it in amazement. Vee... Really should've been allowed out more, Shelly could tell she really had barely any idea what life was like outside of Gardenview before Shanon snatched them up. However, the two were silent when they realized where the picnic was... It was in Gardenview's park, which wasn't far from the building they used to work and live in. Vee seemed a bit uncomfortable, but Shelly was kind of excited to be back home. Though because Vee was uncomfortable, it... Was a struggle and a half to get her out of the car. She refused to budge, and when she gets like that, there's no moving her. Shanon honestly gave up, deciding to go and see her "coworkers" while Shelly did everything she could to get Vee out and get her to enjoy herself... It's not working though. Vee was not getting out... And they just had to accept that. Even though Shelly absolutely did not want to accept it whatsoever, she eventually gave up and joined Shanon, being surprised by how familiar the group all looked and sounded. The only one she fully recognized was Sam though, but the others... Were really familiar. Especially the one sitting beside Shanon, with her long black hair and dark skin, brown eyes and warm smile. She squinted at her, listening as they talked. She sounded like... Vee's handler?

"Oh, Shelly! Hello honey! I'm guessing Vee's still being stubborn, isn't she?" Shanon asked when she noticed the fossil, and once Shelly nodded, the oddly familiar human stood up, giving Shelly a good look at her outfit. It was a simple pastel green suit with pink accents, it matched everyone else's spring theme pretty nicely, which made sense for an Easter themed get together. However this made something click in Shelly's brain... That has to be-

"Miss Veronica?" Shelly quietly asked, getting a nod and smile from the human as she started walking over to her, which just made Shelly go silent. This wasn't a work meeting like she had assumed... Shanon got all the handlers back together... For them. Shelly just couldn't believe it, they really were back in town just for them. Though before she got emotional over it, she shook her head and offered her hand, which Veronica gently took, and the two soon went to try to convince Vee out of the car. However, it wasn't long before she was out and latched onto her former handler, so Veronica came back with a robot clinging to her like a baby koala would cling to their mom, which made Shanon start laughing from how unexpected that was.

"I'm... Just going to assume she immediately figured it out, didn't she?" Shanon asked once she had calmed down, and Veronica just nodded as she sat back down at the picnic table, holding Vee close as she sighed.

"Yeah, one look and she was clinging to me, I might have to move back to town after all." She replied, shrugging a little bit. It was pretty obvious Veronica wanted a good excuse to move back anyways, so she honestly wasn't that mad about this, while Shelly was starting to get concerned about Vee's silence. Soon Shanon had her own toon on her lap and Shelly gently nudged Vee to get her attention, but she didn't budge. The two handlers watched curiously, then they seemed to realize what was going on.

"She's muted herself again... Oh Vee... I'm guessing you still haven't gotten over your fear of being emotional in front of others yet. Do tell me, is she still scared of wall mounted televisions?" Veronica asked, and when Shanon, Sam and Shelly all nodded in unison, she couldn't help but start laughing. This got a very confused look from Devan, Dandy's old handler, as he was completely out of the loop, having just got there.

"Why would she be scared of those?" He asked as he sat down at the picnic table with them, getting a sigh from Veronica.

"I told her if she didn't behave, she'd become one like her older versions. I would've thought she would realize I was just messing with her by now... Or even realize she doesn't have older versions, she's the original Vee." Veronica simply explained, watching as the others immediately started laughing, which included Shelly. She had no idea that's what it was, she was with Shanon on the idea that she simply hated them because they were newer than her. Nope, it was all because she didn't want to become a tv playing Blues Clues... Who would've thought. Well, other than Veronica, who's known about it for years and never admitted it until now. Either way, Shanon honestly really liked having most of them back together again, and was secretly hoping they'd have more funny confessions as they started eating the large picnic meal Sam had made for them.

"You know, I once made everyone look for Vee's remote for a week because she just wanted a break, I thought you guys should know I actually had it the entire time." Shelly confessed once the laughing had died down, which made Veronica giggle as she nodded, obviously remembering that. It was a plan that worked out really well, Vee was at the museum quite a lot that week, always coming back to her backstage room covered in dirt while smiling like an idiot and showing Veronica all the fossils she found. They all could agree on one thing, those two have always been super gay for each other.

"I had a feeling it was you, but I honestly don't care, Vee was the happiest I've ever seen her that week. The thing that mattered to us the most was that you guys were all okay and the happiest we could make you with the strict rules they had in place, and I guess now it's 'make sure Delilah doesn't find out Shanon kidnapped you two like a crazy person so you stay happy' isn't it?" Veronica asked, getting a playful shove from Shanon in reply while Sam snorted back a laugh. They all knew Shanon was crazy, but she wasn't that insane, she didn't go there planning on kidnapping Shelly - she just ended up being asked to and did so. Shelly pointed that out, getting understanding nods from the two handlers who didn't know. The table went quiet for a bit while the handlers and Shelly ate, though everyone stopped what they were doing when Vee decided to turn around and steal a chip off Veronica's plate and eat it. Nobody knew she could do that... Not even Shelly.

"Vee you can eat?" Shelly questioned, just to get a simple nod in reply.

"Yeah, it's not really useful though, I just like tasting things. My core just incinerates it." She explained simply, shrugging off the confused and very surprised looks as she stole a second chip, just from Shelly's plate this time. Shelly just stole it right back, getting a few chaotic giggles from Vee, who obviously was just messing with her girlfriend now. Shanon just shook her head at the two, that much was incredibly normal now. Though the rest of the meal didn't have much else chaotic happen, besides Vee being a chip menace, the event they did afterwards was... Very chaotic. It was an Easter Egg hunt, which Sam and Devan had put together for the two toons before Veronica and Shanon made it there, and when Vee learned about this, she seemed to have a plan as she whispered something to Shelly, getting a nod and chaotic smile from her. Shanon knew that look... They were in for a ride.

"Hey, it's not fun with just two of us looking, why don't you and Shanon look together, and see who can find the most eggs? Like a competition." Vee suggested to Veronica as they walked together to the area the two hid the eggs in, getting a smile from the human as she thought.

"I don't see why not, it would be nice to catch up with her."

"Veronica, don't ever take on a challenge with Vee, she always wins." Shanon pointed out.

"I don't care about winning, Shanon. It's been 12 years, I missed you, a lot. I think it would be fun just, walking around and talking to you, even if we don't find a single egg." Veronica blurted out without much thought, though when she realized she said that, she was blushing hard. Shanon looked away, her own face dusted with a faint blush of its own. Shelly and Vee immediately looked at each other, seeming to know what to do now. They had to get them to talk for as long as they could. So, they did. Instead of hunting for eggs, they'd move them and keep an eye on the two, watching as they got deep into a conversation as Veronica looked for the eggs, while Shanon was too busy yapping about everything Veronica had missed to even care about the hunt anymore. The toons were so proud of themselves, sneaking behind bushes and climbing trees just to watch their handlers bond as they kept hiding more eggs in their path. Shelly did most of the work though, as she was the one who could actually hide well. They were absolutely loving this, their tails wagging in unison as they listened to their handlers bond. It was so peaceful, so... Perfect. Especially after the hunt was over, the looks on their faces were priceless.

"How... In the world did neither of you find any?" Shanon had to ask, getting a shrug from Shelly.

"You guys are just that good, I guess. Good game." Shelly lied, shrugging as she pulled Vee into a hug. Vee just hugged her fossil right back, looking oh so pleased with herself. Veronica knew that look, she knew it all too well.

"You two kept moving the eggs so we'd find more, didn't you? I know that smug look missy, you did something." She pointed out, making Shanon look at Veronica oddly.

"Why would they do that though?" Shanon questioned, oblivious to the toon's idea of them getting together. Veronica didn't want to answer though, she just blushed and turned away, shaking her head a bit. Sam just laughed, finding it adorable that the toons would try to play matchmaker like this, especially since they were doing it to the two that brought them together in the first place.

"Well, I should get going, it's been a fun night but I have a cafe to run early in the morning. Goodnight everyone." Sam said with a wave, and soon they were off. Devan, who didn't honestly do much and just quietly hung out with them, soon followed, leaving Veronica and Shanon together to watch over the two dorks. It wasn't long before the toons were in their favorite spot and stargazing though, so the two handlers just sat down on a nearby bench and watched over them.

"Mind if I stay at your place tonight? Kinda don't want to say bye to Vee yet... I hate admitting it, but she's... Taught me a lot over the years I was her handler. I wonder how much of it is obvious..." Veronica said softly after a bit of silence, and Shanon looked at her with a smile, taking her hair out of it's now messy bun and just letting it stay down for now.

"Of course you can use my spare room, I offered it for a reason! It's also nice seeing you be so confident, I knew you could do it. I kept telling you that one day, you'll find your confidence, and you'd be a great programmer. Now look at you, a confident technician, you're doing amazing!" Shanon enthusiastically replied, getting a nervous little laugh out of Veronica.

"Oh please, I'm not that great, I doubt I'd even be this great if I wasn't hired to work with the most confident toon ever." She replied, blushing as she looked away from Shanon, just to look back at her when she hugged her. Veronica just hugged back gently, putting her head on her shoulder as she relaxed.

"Don't be so bashful, you're amazing Veri, you just needed some help seeing that. You've always been so talented and great, don't doubt yourself, okay?" Shanon reassured, getting a nod from the other in reply. Vee sat up and looked at the two, then at Shelly, who was also watching the two handlers curiously. They absolutely knew the two were getting close with each other, and they looked very pleased with that. Though soon Shelly was back to looking up at the stars, and Vee soon followed, just to look back at Shelly after a minute and admire her instead. She really did look like a princess in that pastel purple gown, it made Vee smile a bit. She soon found herself getting lost in thought as she admired her fossil wife, just as the handlers were now lost in yet another conversation about the two toons and how things have been going for them. It was nice... It felt like the old days again. Vee felt herself smile genuinely for the first time in a long time, she loved this, Shelly absolutely loved it too, and everything was just so peaceful. It was a great Easter for the group... They're definitely doing this again next year.

[violent138]

I see so much batfam-fae content, but come on, Gotham villains are literally playing by magic-world rules. Riddler can't outright lie but loopholes it via riddles. Maybe that's even why they go so crazy in Gotham, the city's old enough to have plenty of iron everywhere.

So many Rogues have ridiculously specific weaknesses. There are kidnappings, apprenticeships, and changeling-esque shenanigans. I for one, am more than ready to believe in Redcaps haunting the ruined Narrows as their territory. Squabbles in the Rogues' Unseelie court disrupt the city.

[psychomusic]

I've seen many people with many takes on andor s2 and the finale and honestly. i think most of the problems could've been solved if they actually made them 5 seasons as they originally intended.

i don't know when they decided to cut it down to only two (especially if it was pre-s1 or after, because that changes DRASTICALLY the emd result) but despite what gilroy said. it was not a good choice. they set up too many pieces, and simply hadn't enough time to follow through

like: cinta's death had sense to me. some deaths are gonna be tragic because there pointless. having this be most of what we got of her this season? not so great. but i understand that if you're trying to cramp up what was originally a 4-season story into 1 this is all you can do. same with k2 and cassian's lack of bond going into rogue one. they alluded to some bonding by mentioning the "17 times they disobeyed orders" but it's sooo underdeveloped.

same with dedra's storyline, and bix's. like. they weren't bad storylines, nor bad executed - the problem is that we didn't have the time to get close to the characters, feel their pain, that the scene cut to something else. which is exactly the opposite of what andor s1 did. s1 took the time to develop and follow the characters. they now didn't have time to do that but couldn't waste all the set up and decided that since we already set those characters up in s1 we could follow s2 with the same engagement

even the shots, idk. they always seemed less intimate, like you're watching from outside. i need to rewatch it and analyze the shots and compare them to s1 to be sure of this point - or find someone who did this already. and like. bix's storyline was not meant to be seen from a distance. you have to live it through for it to really hit. same with dedra.

actually basically all of them because andor was not a story about the rebellion, but people in the rebellion, people under the fascist regime. and the only storyline I've heard no complains on are the ones they dedicated time to develop and let us see through more intimate lens (kleya and luthen, mon, cassian to a degree, syril's death, and the ghormans who got a lot of good development). they simply didn't have time for all of that

[sayakxmi]

Saiouma Puella Magi AU, but Kokichi takes Madoka's role and Shuichi takes Homura's.

For one, Kokichi's too naturally distrustful to just hear "I can grant you any wish :)" and not think ok where's the hook. So he just does what no one ever has & essentially interrogates Kyubey, so he knows it all even before he gets to make a contract. So, some of his classmstes are MGs & he won't become one himself BUT he still ends up tagging along to just protect them in his Kokichi ways. (Though I'm entertaining Kokichi lying about being a magical girl, because, well, it's Kokichi).

(I also got a small idea of Gonta being a magical girls and Kokichi originally tagging along him into labyrinths, Gonta also makes him a magic gun from the toy one he had, and at some point witches out & Kokichi manages to kill him with that gun. So he always has that spare Grief Seed on himself, bc it's still his best friend & he can't handle the idea of just giving it away or using it himself (he does anyway in the end).)

Shuichi prolly ends up being a new kid & it isn't like MadoHomu, the ppl who reach him first are Kaede & Kaito, classic. Kokichi's there, too, but he's his usual sus self. He's actually discouraging ppl from making a contract when they find out magic and miracles are real, which absolutely includes Shuichi. He's very vocal abt it, but he won't explain stutf, bc 1) he's a liar, so who'd believe him? and 2) he doesn't want them to witch out upon finding out the truth or, idk, murder everybody Mami-style.

Anyway, fast forward, bad things happen bingo & by the end of the run most charas are dead, there's Walpurgis nachting, and he makes his wish to bring back the ppl who died notably not as magical girls. Contract signed, he fights & fails, rip. I also thought it was similar to how he thought he could end the killing game by himself - he though he could finish Walpurgisnacht by himself, too. And he failed in both times. Whatevs.

Shuichi doesn't actually make his time travel wish for Ouma specifically, he wants to save all his friends. Timelines are messy esp at first bc he either tells then or it backfires or just makes himself look very sus bc he's trying not to tell them. He also realizes why Kokichi hadn't told anybody aby witches at some point, bc, yeah, it messes them a lot, assuming they believe it.

Still, Kokichi ends up one of the few people who are nearly always giving him a chance, not necessarily out of belief, but out of pragmatism - bro can stop time & knows the truth, that's just too useful. So they often work together & Shuichi grows closer to him but still we ain't there yet. But the thing is, Shuichi's time travel still makes Kokichi more & more powerful with each timeline, bc Shuichi usually goes back after Kokichi dies, so the universe figured out this guy's life's important. Anyway, another notable thing is the iconic Homura kills Madoka scene, but it's Saiouma with guest stars of Kaito & Maki. It's Walpy, it's not defeated yet, but the training trio are spent & just kinda accept their fate of turning into witches together. And then, boom, Kokichi appears & steals their Soul Gems for a sec & he's like did u know you can cleanse your Soul Gem with a darkened one? But it's a lie & he quickly tells them so, he just had a spare Grief Seed after cleansing his Soul Gem & he needs them to do some stuff. Shuichi can travel back in time & fix things, and Maki & Kaito are needed to fight Walpy here. He actually questions what happens to the timelines Shuichi leaves behin, and ofc he doesn't know. There's a chance they remain, so Kokichi needs Maki & Kaito to fight Walpy here.

Kaimaki leave, and Shuichi finally looks at Kokichi & realizes sth is Wrong. Kokichi struggles to hide how he's trembling & grimacing, and it's Kokichi, so obviously it must be extremely bad. Shuichi dreadfully realizes something worse, and he weakly asks Kokichi why aren't his wounds healing. And Kokichi just falls, laughing weakly, and Shuichi catches him & searches for his Soul Gem and, God, he knew it. It's nearly completely black. Kokichi laughs & admits he lied abt having two Grief Seeds, he only had one he never wanted to use. But they'll have the second one soon, so no need to worry. He asks Shuichi to maybe destroy his witch form as it's hatching, so he'll have the Grief Seed without any fighting… and he admits that he hates fighting, he hates this magical world and all its violence. He says that Kaito was right in calling him a coward, even here he just can't handle the idea of fighting any longer, he's so sorry. And Shuichi tells him he ISN'T a coward. He was scared, but he always followed everybody, trying to help, and when push came to shove he would always make a contract for the benefit of others rather than himself. He's a lot of things, but a coward isn't one. Kokichi actually tears up hearing that, and Shuichi promises he won't let him fight ever again, and especially he won't let him turn into a witch and hurt anybody, because he knows it's the last thing he's ever wanted. Even now he only accepts turning into a witch to help them fight to keep others safe. So Shuichi won't let him. Kokichi probably apologizes and thanks him and then he dies.

Keeping Kokichi from fighting starts off as a side quest that gains importance with time, bc it's something Shuichi won't compromise on (ah, trauma), which leads him to occassionally neglect others a bit, which makes them more likely to get hurt & ironically Kokichi more likely to make a contract, especially since he gets more powerful & Kyubey is more interested in him with each timeline. And that also makes him witch out super quick. Shuichi's paying more attention to him & over time grows resentful of others for how they're treating him. To Shuichi it's no question that Kokichi cares & is just doing his best to help, but nobody realizes that.

But the biggest obstacle in keeping Kokichi from fighting is actually Kokichi himself, bc he's too smart and nosy, lmao. Even if he knows nothing, he will find out quickly. Doesn't help that Kyubey wants him to make a contract.

Also, obviously Kaito is Sayaka-coded and Maki could be Kyouko-coded, so that's a thing, BUT it's usually Maki that witches out. Kaito is usually pretty close, but Kokichi intervenes & he survives, but Maki later cracks on her own (and since in the new timeline Kokichi isn't there, Kaito's the one to die, so he's still the secretary). So it's Kaito who gets the dramatic sacrifice. I imagine he genuinely hoped you could bring somebody back if you tried Very Hard & Kokichi called him a moron bc obviously it's not possible. If it was there'd be far less witches that there are. But it's Kaito, he doesn't listen to reason. So, Kokichi follows him to the labyrinth. At first Kaito's mad cuz what if Kokichi being there ruins the plan? Maki hates his guts! But eventually he gets hit pretty hard, and Kokichi is near immediately by his side, trying to help him get up, which kinda makes Kaito short circuit a little bc wait Kokichi's trying to help? But witch!Maki attacks them & Kokichi pushes Kaito away & gets caught himself (and choked until unconsciousness, naturally). Anyway, Kaito gets him away, Shuichi catches Kokichi & Kaito makes up his mind about going down with Maki & asks Shuichi to tell Kokichi that he's sorry. He doesn't get him, but he got hurt trying to protect him, so he'll believe in that if nothing else. F.

As for The WishTM, in the last timeline Shuichi lashes out at Kokichi for his willingness to just become part of the system. In no timeline has his wish actually helped, it did NOTHINHG, which OUCH but it also makes Kokichi think out of the box more & he becomes the Law of Cycles. And Shuichi realizes what is happening & freaks out bc Kokichi's doing it bc of what he told him & like Homura they end up having a momentTM in space & Shuichi remembers. He feels a lot of guilt even tho he also questions whether anything was real, but if it was, he pushed somebody he far too realized he loved into erasing himself from existence.

[toaarcan]

Anyone noticed that Surge is like... aesthetically derived from Scourge, but her damage and reasons for hating Sonic are way more similar to Fiona?

Kidnapped by a mad scientist (Starline/Robotnik), experimented on in a traumatic fashion (turned into a lightning-powered anti-Sonic/used for the Auto-Automaton prototype), blames Sonic for her situation happening at all (because he didn't kill the villains before they could hurt her/because he didn't come back to save her), and is angry at Sonic for not taking a stronger position against the villains (explicitly/implicitly).

And given how well-received Surge has been, there's a level of "Wow they could've done something like this a while ago if anyone at Archie had seen Fiona as a character rather than a love interest" but honestly I'm mostly just glad they finally did something with the concept of "Person who feels that Sonic is to blame for everything that went wrong in her life and wants to kick his teeth in about it."

[the2ndsanctuary]

Imagine how much more potential individual stories in crk would've had if they weren't self contained to one or two events and it wasn't made by a greedy gacha game corporation. I look at a character and understand that I love them deeply only if you had at least smidgen of more personality and relevance .

[dagbert-endless]

16000 words??? I love you for that but also I'm not going to get anything done this week <3

Also START TAGGING YOU FICS >:(

I love angst so much that, given the opportunity to go so overboard it becomes wangst, I will. I don't respect it or myself for this. But, given the chance to add 14000 words of what is basically the :( emoji in a hot topic tshirt, I will. High school emo kids in 2006 would have loved me.

Btw, absolutely wild that you've read it all already. I haven't read your reviews yet but I see they're there. what are you DOING with your time

I do??? Tag my fics??? The point of tags is find fic featuring a character, so I ask myself "if I were looking up fics of this character, would I want to see this fic?" and only twice was the answer "no, this is too unserious and/or ooc".

...But then I went and tagged the oneshots with henliver so I guess I'll add tags to that anyways.

[kumakuma-circus]

follow-up to this post with an important amendment: eevee wild cards.

persona q more like persona v(ee)-

[johnslittlespoon]

SO. MUCH. curtbuckbucky nightclub au brainrot below the cut, thanks to whoever this insane anon is. you kept my brain so entertained while i was ill, i'm still feeling bonkers about these oh my goddd?? ur messages were so long (/fond LMFAO) that screenshotting them looked janky, so i copied and pasted them into a doc to make it easier to format, i hope that's alright <33

my original nightclub au post for context

this is gonna be such a wall of screenshots (IT'S LIKE 9K WORDS BTWN THE BOTH OF US OOPS i'm not fuckin proofreading it's pure drabble so sorry) but listen this au has been eating away at me so bad too i'm so glad to know it's got someone else in a chokehold as well because it's done smth to my brain and soul

anon is the lovely purple colour and i'm the black text to make for easier reading lol <3

HIII yeahh idk what to say about this LMFAOAO this is so fucked... when the au brainworm hits, it HITS. i don't get to decide what i want to hyperfixate on and brainrot over unfortunately but i sure wish i did </3 i cannot let myself get this carried away in future brainrot posts bc this took SO LONG and it was a nightmare to organize the screenshots and probably so annoying to try and read like this 😭

like genuinely ik i say this every time i get carried away with a brainrot/drabble but i need to make these shorter because it takes me so long to write so i make like no progress in my ask box 💀 but ykw i had fun so <33 eventually i'll write a fic for this au but leaving!bikeriders is gonna be my next chaptered wip after i finish yad(iym) i think :-)

alright that's all, will legit be in awe if anyone swipes thru all of these but if u do i hope the curtbuckbucky brainworms get u too xoxo

[mariemariemaria]

every american tv show set in a school or college mentions dioramas at some point and they look so fun to make. really feel like i missed out on making a cute wee model that goes towards my final grade or gpa or something

[rwbysketches]

salem did 9/11

[maxbytes]

i love our puppy love @peri

[mellowthorn]

the absolute horror of going to edit one little thing in a fully drafted chapter only to find the file completely blank. and then discovering that none of the 5(!!!!) backups have the contents either???

thankfully dropbox has a file-specific version history so after five minutes of panicking i managed to restore it through that, but dear lord. that was scary.