#Ted Theodore Logan x you

[keanusteddy]

🎸 NEW GIRL AT SCHOOL 🎸 ted logan x reader headcanons

A/N: Trying out something a little different. I’m very nervous to post this, since I’ve only ever done bots before. Hopefully it isn’t total rubbish.

Ted definitely hadn’t been paying any attention to what was going on in the classroom before you walked in. He and Bill had been too busy brainstorming new song lyric ideas.

“Who cares about some short dead french dude. We won’t need all this useless information when Wyld Stallyns becomes famous.” Bill had said to Ted, whilst messily scribbling down some lyrics at the back of his history notebook.

Ted had been so focused on his songwriting, that he didn’t even notice you walk into the room. It was only when Mr. Ryan told him and Bill to pay attention, that he looked up to see you.

“Everyone listen up! This is y/n and they will be joining us this year at San Dimas High. I want everyone to make them feel welcome.” Whilst Mr. Ryan introduced you to the classroom, Ted stared at you with his big brown eyes. He looked like a love sick puppy dog.

“I’m in love dude.” Ted shuffled his seat closer to Bill and whispered to him.

When you end up sitting in the seat next to Ted (it was the only seat in class left), he immediately became flustered and nervous. There was no way that he could focus on the lesson now even if he tried.

Throughout the whole lesson, Ted couldn’t help but steal glances in your direction. He also attempted to impress you with his laidback and nonchalant attitude, cracking jokes and giving witty responses during class discussions to catch your attention. However, it seemed that Ted’s antics had not impressed you.

Ever since you joined Ted’s history class, he had been arriving on time to Mr. Ryan’s lessons. Ted didn’t want you to think of him as the class slacker, even though he was already pretty much one.

Ted wants you to think that he’s smart. He’ll sit up a bit straighter in his seat and pay more attention in class. He even takes notes! Mr. Ryan can’t believe his eyes.

Ted may even raise his hand to answer questions and discuss historical events. He’s not correct most of the time but his silly responses sometimes get a smile and a giggle out of you, which makes his day.

Ted still goes back into his own world and daydreams in class (specifically about you). At the back of his notebook, he doodles your name and his together with a big heart around it. Ted is also a good drawer. He’ll draw pictures of you both holding hands.

He always makes sure his notebook is in a secure place. He would die of embarrassment if you ever saw his silly little doodles. Not even Bill knows about them.

Ted becomes incredibly clumsy and awkward around you, constantly tripping over his own two feet whenever you are nearby. Countless times he’s almost bumped into somebody, walked into a trash can and dropped his school books in the hallway.

Ted was harmless but he would low-key act like a stalker. During lunch times he would attempt to discreetly follow you around and he would bring Bill along with him for moral support.

“Dude. You are seriously acting like a total stalker. Just go up and talk to her. Recite her some lyrics!” Bill would always say to Ted, trying to convince him to make a move.

Ted has been observing you so much, that he now knows what you bring to lunch each day and where your favourite spots are to sit and eat.

Ted thinks he’s being sneaky, but a few times you have spotted him hiding behind a tree or a bush. His fluffy hair would always been sticking out.

Both of your lockers are right near each others in the hallway. Ted will peak around from his open locker door and watch as you put your books away or take out books.

One day you spotted him peaking around at you and you gave him a friendly smile. Ted nearly fainted on the spot.

You are now the inspiration for the songs that Ted writes. These songs often talk about your beautiful smile, and bubbly personality. Ted only wishes that one day you could hear it :((

[ghcstpyre]

*•.¸♡ nsfw alphabet with ted logan x f!reader. MINORS BEGONE!

cw: cis female reader, obviously nsfw themes, drug use (weed)

A - AFTERCARE. (what they're like after sex)

so. many. cuddles. cuddling is always one of the first things ted wants to do after sex, regardless of how sticky and/or sweaty you both are. and it's only once you decide you feel a bit too gross that he finally peels himself away from you to fetch a towel to wipe you down, telling you how amazing and beautiful you are, how much he loves you.

B - BODY PART. (their favourite body part on you and on themself)

ted is a boob guy. doesn't matter the size, shape, or colour. every chance he gets, he's touching and groping them and he especially loves teasing your nipples during foreplay or when he's trying to rile you up.

as for himself, ted loves his hair! he takes really good care of it and it's unbelievably soft. 

C - CUM. (anything to do with cum)

listen. ted is a sprightly young man. he's horny and so into you, when he cums, he cums a lot. he can go multiple times too - most of the time he's still hard post-orgasm and can't help but push it back inside for an immediate round 2.

creampies make him a bit nervous so he usually only does them when he's either a) stoned, b) drunk, or c) so consumed with lust he can't bring himself to pull out. ted's favourite place to cum is on your chest or in your mouth.

D - DIRTY SECRET. (a dirty secret of theirs)

ted is a panty sniffer. if you're in a relationship, he will 100% steal your panties and press them against his face while he gets off. alternatively, he'll wrap them around his cock and cum in them.

if you're just friends or only hooking up, he'll be incredibly tempted to steal a pair. but he's a respectful guy and knows that would be crossing a boundary, so instead he just fantasises.

E - EXPERIENCE. (how experienced are they?)

teddy boy isn't experienced. at all. the closest he's gotten to some action begins and ends at making out and some light over-the-clothes groping with a girl at a school dance when he was 16.

having said that though, he is a really good kisser. like, leaving you weak at the knees kind of kisser. and he's a fast learner, so if you wanted to teach ted a thing or two in the bedroom, it wouldn't take him long to get the hang of it!

F - FAVOURITE POSITION.

ted thinks you look amazing from every angle, but his favourite is cowgirl. he loves loves loves it when you ride him - on the bed, on the sofa, front and back of the wyld stallyns van, anywhere it's viable. he loves being able to see your pretty face while he's inside you, grip your hips, and watch your tits bounce as you fuck yourself on him.

G - GOOFY. (are they more serious during the moment or are they humorous?)

he can be serious if the moment calls for it! but ted much prefers being able to laugh and be a little silly. he doesn't get down on himself or frustrated when something doesn't quite work and will instead crack a joke, laugh with his partner and carry on. he wouldn't be able to be with someone who wants it serious all the time - that's way too much pressure.

H - HAIR. (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes etc?)

unlike bill, ted is a hairy guy. he prefers to keep his face and upper body shaved, but leaves his armpits, snail trail and pubes (which he keeps trimmed). he doesn't bother with his arms and legs. his body hair and beard grow back really fast so he tries to keep on top of shaving at least once a week or every other week, but that 5 o’clock shadow comes in real quick.

I - INTIMACY. (how are they during the romantic aspects of the moment?)

ted is a complete hopeless romantic. he loves love, and he loves making love. going slow, savouring the moment, gentle touches and caresses, hand holding and kissing and “I love you babe”s all the way through. ted has so so so much love and affection to give, so you better be ready for the most lovey-dovey lovemaking you'll ever get.

J - JACK OFF. (do they masturbate?)

oh yes. he's a young, horny guy so he definitely does his fair bit of jerking off. probably slightly more than average, but it becomes a lot harder to get away with after moving in with bill.

at his dad's house he had his own room and the privacy to do it whenever the need took hold. after moving in with bill he has to wait until he's home alone, or does it in the shower. he once tried to do it while bill was fast asleep, but it felt too weird and invasive and he felt gross as hell doing it with his best friend only a few metres away.

K - KINK. (one of more of their kinks)

ted isn't really a kinky guy. but he is geeky and isn't immune to the lure of a bodacious babe in cosplay. semi-public sex in his van too - one of ted's favourite things is driving to a scenic remote spot, smoking up in the back of his van and getting it on. he likes the risk of it, but would absolutely dissolve on the spot from embarrassment if the two of you ever did get caught.

L - LOCATION. (favourite places to get it on)

i’ve already touched on this, but ted loves going at it in the wyld stallyns van. his top three in order are the van, the bed and then the sofa. one of the things he fantasises about is doing a crazy successful gig and pulling you into the van for a quickie between sets. he doesn't know why, but fucking in the van sort of makes him feel a bit like a rock star.

M - MOTIVATION. (what turns them on, what gets them going)

if you're ever not wearing a bra beneath your top, ted is going to have a hard time keeping his hands to himself. he also very much enjoys the miniskirt with knee-high socks combo. but most of all, he loves a girl in a leather jacket; it doesn't matter what else you could be wearing, because all ted will be thinking about is how badass and hot his babe looks in a leather jacket.

N - NO. (something they wouldn't do, their turn offs)

ted is down to try pretty much anything (within reason) at least once. aside from the obvious few, one thing he definitely isn't into is threesomes/sharing you with someone else. while he hides it very well, ted can be insecure thanks to the years of his dad chipping away at his self confidence. the idea of you wanting to be intimate with someone else while you're with him just doesn't sit right - why would you need anyone else when he has so much love to give you? ted wants to be the only one to make you feel good and special!

O - ORAL. (preference in giving or receiving, skill etc)

he's addicted to eating you out. ted could get off on the taste of you alone (and has done. many times). he absolutely loves the feeling of you squirming and rocking on his tongue, and despite the lack of experience, he's actually really good at it. more often than not, he makes a point to make you cum on his tongue before you get down to anything else.

not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving head. the sight of you down on your knees with your mouth working over the length of him is permanently burned into his brain, and cumming in your mouth is one of his favourite things. thank god for the existence of 69ing!

P - PACE. (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual?)

both! ted is never quite rough with you - the last thing he wants is to accidentally hurt you. he'll go fast and will manhandle you a bit more than usual if he's pent up or if you're both feeling up for a quick fuck. but if you're making love, he'll obviously go slower and take his time.

Q - QUICKIE. (their opinions on quickies, how often etc)

ted loves a quickie. usually at the most inconvenient of times, too. like right before a family event, before (or during) a house party, or before bill comes back to the apartment after going out to grab a few things from the shop. again, the risk of being caught is thrilling for him, but he also loves seeing how quick and how many times he can make you cum in that short span of time.

R - RISK. (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc)

as mentioned somewhere above, ted will try pretty much anything at least once. if you suggest something new, chances are he's down to give it a go.

S - STAMINA. (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

this boy has staminaaaaaa. he can't do a set of push-ups for shit, but he'll fuck and fuck and fuck as long as you're up for it. he'll cum, and most of the time he'll still be hard and immediately ready for another round. if he isn't still hard, he'll finger you or eat you out until you cum again, by which point he's hard again and ready to go.

he never lasts long each round though. everything about you just feels too good!

T - TOYS. (do they own any toys? do they use them on their partner or on themselves?)

ted doesn't own any toys himself, but if you wanted to start introducing them in the bedroom he'd be down for it. things like vibrators and/or dildos to use on you, or even a fleshlight or cockring for himself if you suggested it. the latter would take a bit of convincing though.

U - UNFAIR. (how much they like to tease)

he's never mean and always follows through on his teasing, but he loves to do it. he loves riling you up with little things: a hand on your waist that slowly slides up your ribs to brush his fingers against the underside of your breast while you walk through the mall, pulling you close while you sit, stoned on a couch at a house party, to whisper dirty things in your ear. 

V - VOLUME. (how loud they are and the noises they make)

ted struggles to be quiet. when he gets the opportunity to be loud, he isn't shy about it. ted wants you to know how you make him feel, whether it's words of praise or moaning. he isn't a grunter, but he'll groan.

W - WILD CARD. (a random headcanon)

sometimes ted will set aside an entire weekend for the both of you to bake weed brownies, get high and stick a bunch of nerdy movies on. but you're both only half watching, because you spend the whole time fucking and lovemaking with breaks in between for snacks and naps and cuddling.

X - XRAY. (what's going on under those clothes?)

for a guy who can barely do 5 push-ups, ted is surprisingly toned. it's all for show though and he mostly works on his arms and chest. he's got a cute squishy tummy!

now for the part of this you're obviously waiting for. yes, his dick is big. about 7-8 inches, slightly bigger than average girth. curves upwards and he's a shower not a grower.

Y - YEARNING. (how high is their sex drive?)

ted has a high sex drive. the pining, the yearning, the thirsting is all real. it's your fault for being so cute and looking so good all the time, even when you've just woken up with messy hair and drool at the corner of your mouth.

Z - ZZZ. (how quickly do they fall asleep after the deed?)

it really depends on how sleepy he is beforehand, where you are, how high he is, how snuggly the post-sex cuddles are and how many times he came/how many rounds it's been. if there's any combination of those things, chances are ted is dozing off pretty quick. whether it's a quick power nap or a full on sleep depends on what time of day it is too!

[casuallyobssessed]

Vicious Pastimes - Evil Robot Ted x Virgin!Fem!Reader ❥ 2.6k Words

A/N: Completely self indulgent fic. I spent a lot of time mulling over this. Sorry if it's a little weird. Let me know if you see any mistakes!

Warnings: Dead Dove content, dub/non-con, P in V Sex, minor character death, virgin!reader, graphic depictions of blood/blood play, mentions of violence, no use of y/n, no beta

Archive of Our Own Link

Blood is everywhere. Your hands are barely visible through the blinding red as you press your shirt down against the hole in Ted's chest. With your heart racing and hands trembling, you knew there was no way he could survive something like this, yet you hold pressure anyway. Sobs rip from your throat as you apologize to your boyfriend who lay motionless beneath you. None of this is fair. 

Laughter rang out from behind you, cutting your mumbling apology short. You sniffle and lean back, smearing blood across your face as you wipe your tears away. 

“Crying won't bring him back, y'know,” Evil Ted snickers.

You can't dignify him with a reply. Instead, you lean down and brush the stray hairs out of Ted's face. As much as the look suited him, you hated the fact that his unruly hair made it impossible for him to see clearly half the time. You try your best to ignore the now glassy look in his eyes. The quiet stillness, the unusually pale skin… none of it is him. Your Ted is gone. All that's left is the evil robot version of him that ripped his heart out, and will now, presumably, take your life, too.

“Dude, c'mon. This pussweed isn't worth the tears, you've got the better version right here.”

Evil Ted crouches down beside you, brows furrowed in confusion, like grief is a foreign concept to him. That's probably because it is, you realize. 

“Will you just kill me already?” You ask him, stone faced.

“Kill you? No way. Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn't you?” It was your turn to be confused.

“Wasting a babe like you before getting to try out the goods would be most heinous. I can see why Ted was so into you,” Evil Ted grins and gestures to your breasts, covered only by your lace bra. As all the adrenaline has worn off, you suddenly feel incredibly exposed as you're looking down at your crumpled, bloodied shirt resting on Ted's chest.

This isn't how tonight was supposed to go. You and Ted were supposed to have a date night; order pizza, watch a movie at his place, and you were going to ask him if he wanted to finally go all the way with you. As cliche as it was, you wore your best bra and panties to show off for him, not some evil robot version of him.

You fold your arms across your chest to hide yourself from his prying eyes as much as you can. Evil Ted's grin turns into something more sinister and you can almost see the gears turning in his head. 

“Don’t tell me you're getting shy now,” He sneers. 

By the time you can process what's happening, you're already being shoved backwards, not-so gently smacking your head against the kitchen floor. Evil Ted leans over you, arms caging you in on both sides. He stares at you, smiling in a way that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. 

“Get off of me!” You pound your fists against his chest, but he doesn't budge.

“What did you see in him besides the huge dick? Did he at least make you cum?” He asks, ignoring you. 

“Huh?” His question stuns you enough that you just look at him, dumbfounded. What kind of questions are 

these?

“I bet he hasn't, dude probably didn't even know where the clit is.”

“Ted and I haven't had sex. We talked about it, but I wasn't ready.” 

“Shit, does that mean you're a virgin?”

You nod, feeling the heat of embarrassment creep into your cheeks.

“Dude, no way!” Evil Ted's eyes light up at your confession, adding to your discomfort, “That's gonna make this so much more fun.”

“What?” 

Evil Ted laughs at your confusion before sitting down on your stomach, effectively straddling your torso and keeping you in place. Something grabs his attention by Ted's body and he looks away from you for a moment, reminding you of your proximity to your dead boyfriend and just how alone you are now. 

You're pulled from your spiraling thoughts when he reaches down and presses his hand into the stagnant puddle of Ted's blood that has pooled beside his body. His gaze bounces between you and the blood dripping from his fingers before he gives you another wicked grin. You can't imagine what he's thinking, but it can't be good. 

You thrash against Evil Ted, but his strong, robot thighs hold you down while his thumb presses against your lower lip, pushing insistently until your mouth opens wide. 

“Stop! Stop, stop, stop!” You cry out, but it falls on deaf ears. 

“I love it when you fight back, babe. Gets me real hot,” He smirks and slips his fingers in your mouth. You gag at the intrusion as the metallic tasting liquid coats your tongue. Frustrated and enraged, you let out a groan as angry tears spilled from your eyes. 

“You're pretty when you cry,” Evil Ted murmurs, “What does he taste like?” 

There is an inquisitive glint in his eye as he pushes his fingers further into your mouth. Biting down on his hand proves useless. He is mostly metal, after all. 

Your chest heaves as you sob. The last thing you intended to do was give Evil Ted exactly what he wanted, but you couldn't help crying. You've never felt so defeated in your life. 

You were powerless to save Ted, too weak to save yourself, and losing hope by the minute. The entire situation makes you feel sick. From the salty-sweet iron swirling through your senses to the weight crushing your middle, your stomach is tied in knots. It doesn't help when Evil Ted bends down and removes his fingers, only to replace them with his tongue licking curiously into your mouth. You wonder what the combination of spit, blood, and hatred tastes like to him. 

Evil Ted's hand starts to roam your chest, lingering on the lace fabric covering your breast. His fingers run along your bra until they find the center clasp between the cups and unhook it with ease. You're only a little impressed by how easy he makes it seem with one hand. 

Trying to think about anything other than Evil Ted's tongue halfway down your throat, you focus on the way his hand grasps your breast. A thumb brushes over one of your already hard nipples, inciting a low hum from you and sending a warmth straight to your core. 

Playing along with his weird advances hadn't been part of the game plan, but if it gets you out of here alive, it might be worth a shot. 

“Fuck. Look at you,” Evil Ted growls appreciatively as he pulls away from your face, licking the remaining blood from his lips. 

The last thing you wanted to think about was how disheveled you probably looked. Blood coating various parts of your body, puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, all topped off with your tits hanging out. By the hungry look on his face, he clearly liked what he saw. 

He confirms your suspicions when he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. His tongue circles over the sensitive bud sending goosebumps spreading across your skin. You close your eyes, searching for your happy place. This way, it almost feels normal. 

At least it does until Evil Ted takes it upon himself to bite your nipple. Your whole body jumps from the sudden, harsh sensation and your eyes fly open. He looks pretty pleased with himself by the expression on his face. 

“Seriously? Do you have to be such an asshole?” You huff at him. 

“It's in my programming, babe. Now do me a favor and get on your knees.”

Evil Ted pats your thigh while standing up, allowing you room to move. You hesitantly follow directions, shrugging out of your bra while repositioning. The moment you get settled on your knees, he's pushing your upper half towards the floor, giving you only a moment to catch yourself before hitting the ground. Something akin to ‘fuck you’ finds its way out of your mouth before you remember the situation you're in. 

There's a brief second where you try to lift yourself back up, but he's got a steady hand between your shoulder blades. Cheek pressed to the grimy tile, you come to terms with the fact that you're not going anywhere. 

“Stay down.”

You nod. It's a simple command, but his tone is nothing like you've ever heard come from your Ted's mouth. 

“Good girl.”

Those words spark an unfamiliar fire somewhere deep in your gut and a new, bright pink flush across your cheeks. Behind you, Evil Ted is making quick work of pulling down your pants for you, revealing your matching lace panties. His warm hands caress your ass, giving you an appreciative smack as he lets out a low whistle. 

“The view from back here makes me glad I killed that loser. Dude had no business dating a babe like you if he wasn't gonna take advantage of the full package.”

You roll your eyes and wonder if it's too late to try to crawl away from him. Would you have any real shot trying to run away from an evil robot? Chances are you could make it a couple feet at least before he tackles you. 

After a little bit of musing in your head, you decide it's not worth the off chance that he decides to just kill you out of frustration. Your main goal is still survival, and you try your best to remember that as he unceremoniously yanks your panties down your thighs. 

His fingers find your surprisingly dripping wet center and his touch makes you gasp. You're ashamed at how your body has been reacting to him. You weren’t expecting to be turned on at all, much less to this degree. 

Slowly, he dips one finger inside of you, and it's the most gentle he's been with you throughout this entire situation. He's met with little resistance on your part. One of his fingers already feels like too much and you're whimpering embarrassingly beneath him. 

“How the hell am I supposed to fit my dick in here if you can't even handle two fingers?” He snaps, sounding mildly annoyed. 

It's not your fault that you’re not used to this. You haven't done anything like this before. How can he expect you to be comfortable moving this fast?  

After adding another finger and pumping them in and out of you briefly, you hear Evil Ted undo his jeans behind you. You turn and watch him as he shoves his underwear and pants down, far enough for his cock to spring free. You let out an unfeigned gasp at how thick it is. 

He was right about one thing. Fitting him all inside you was going to be a challenge. You're hit with a fresh pang of guilt when Evil Ted lines himself up with your entrance. He eases the tip in, graciously giving you more than a couple seconds to adjust to the stinging stretch that brings tears to your eyes. It wasn't long before he decided he didn't want to wait anymore and shove himself all the way in. 

“You are so,” Evil Ted growls as he bottoms out inside of you, “fucking tight.” 

He wastes no time in pulling all the way out and 

thrusting back in again, hard. Your body rocks forward from the force causing your arms to collapse beneath you, landing you nearly face first on the tile, again. You let out an involuntary, high pitched whine as he slams into you. 

“You liked that, huh?” Evil Ted goads, gripping your hips tighter and thrusting in harder this time. 

Your heart knows this isn't your Ted, but your body clearly isn't convinced. Clenching your walls around his dick and moaning his name was not sending the message that you wanted him to stop. You are taken pleasantly by surprise when he reaches around your hip and begins toying with your clit. Maybe he isn't completely evil. 

“Beg me for it,” Evil Ted’s breath ghosts across your back, sending chills down your spine. 

Okay, maybe he was still fully evil. You do not want to beg him for this. Saying it out loud makes it real, and you're not sure if you're ready to face that, yet. 

With your lack of an answer, his touch on your clit slows down to a halt. The painful aching in your core is growing and you’re starting to think you really do need that release from him. 

“Please?” You sound unsure of what you're asking for.

“Please what?”

If you could look him in the face, you'd be glaring daggers at him right now. 

“Fuck. Please let me cum,” It comes out more like a whine than you intended. 

It's enough for Evil Ted to take mercy on you. Teetering on the edge of bliss, it doesn't take much for him to shove you right over with a few more firm circles of your clit. You could swear you're seeing stars. 

This isn't how you imagined your first time would be, yet here you are, letting yourself get wrecked by Ted's evil robot clone. Being disgusted with yourself isn't enough to stop you from completely losing yourself in the intoxicating euphoria of cumming on his cock.

While you're shaking, being fucked through your orgasm, Evil Ted seems to be following close behind you. His thrusts are getting sloppier, his breathing quickens, and the grip he has on your hips is sure to leave behind fingerprint shaped bruises. 

With a guttural moan, he finishes deep inside of you. The good news is that it didn't take very long for him to finish, but now there's an uncomfortable fullness in your cunt as you feel his cum begin to drip down your thigh. 

How does that even work for a robot? In all honesty, you don't really care. You're just glad it's over. The breath of relief you exhale is cut short as Evil Ted grabs a fistful of your hair and pulls you back towards him. The sudden pain makes you squeak and jerk against him, but his grasp is firm. 

“That was most excellent,” His sarcastic tone was not lost on you, “Next time, I'll totally go down on you. Promise.” 

“We are not doing this again,” You scoff, knowing there's no way in hell you'd willingly do anything with this asshole ever again.

His grip tightens, yanking your hair again and hissing in your ear, “I could keep you here, y'know. Use you whenever I feel like it. That'd be a pretty sick trade-off for getting to live, huh?” 

Not sure how to reply to that, you just growl at him. This asshole has a way of leaving you speechless in all the wrong ways. 

“That doesn't sound like a no to me, babe.”

He lets go of your hair, letting you drop down to the floor again. There's comfort in the cool tile this time. At this point, you don't actually care what he does with you. After what you've allowed this robot to do to you right next to your boyfriend's corpse, you're sure that wherever Ted ended up, he's not too thrilled with you. You hope there's no way for him to know in the afterlife, but you've got a feeling he does. 

[tedsbogusjourney]

Kickstart My Heart

Ted "Theodore" Logan X fem!reader genre : one shot - fluff warnings : english isn't my first language. Enjoy !

The record store was quiet, with no customers this early evening. The music playing softly through the store speakers was Dangerous - Shark Island. You blinked, trying to shake off the usual fatigue that crept in at the end of your day. Your gaze landed on Ted’s goofy smile—the one that always gave you butterflies. You’d grown so attached to him over the years, his unshakable optimism like a beacon. His sunny personality had always lifted your spirits, no matter how tough things got.

You missed him more and more now that he, Bill, and you had graduated high school and ventured into your respective lives.

“How’s work going?” you asked softly, tilting your head slightly. His honey-brown eyes sparkled with excitement as he studied your face, his enthusiasm shining through.

“Totally awesome, dudette! College? Not really my vibe, y’know... I’d much rather be here. Way more excellent!”

He ran a hand through his messy dark hair, his trademark grin plastered on his face. You knew music was his life, even though his dad had never approved it. These days, Ted shares an apartment in San Dimas with Bill. Briefly, you wondered if he still had a strained relationship with his father. Of course, you didn’t dare ask. It was a sore subject, and you didn’t want to dredge up painful memories. You’d seen him defeated enough times in high school, back when his dad used to threaten to send him to the military.

“It’s cool that you’re here,” he added, shifting topics with his usual enthusiasm. “I’ve got a late shift tonight—like, really late. But hey, at least it gives me time to spin some killer records and check out non-heinous releases!”

You noticed his shoulders were a bit more muscular than they’d been in high school, and you wondered briefly if he worked out now. Physically, there had been small changes, but mentally? He was still the same Ted—the goofy, happy guy you’d always known. Sometimes, you wished you could be more like him. You, with your overthinking and constant worries, envied his carefree approach to life. Ted tackled problems with a lightness that disarmed you, while you often let your worries weigh you down. Being Ted seemed so much simpler. Maybe even freer.

“I’m glad you still enjoy the job. Are there many customers during the day?”

“Depends on the day,” he replied, setting a Scatterbrain - Here Comes Trouble vinyl on the counter and absentmindedly running his fingers over the cover. “But weekends? Totally triumphant—you wouldn’t believe it!”

He finally looked up at you, his honey-colored eyes gleaming with sincere curiosity. “What about you? Still with the bookshop, or did you find something even most excellent?”

You shook your head slightly, pulling yourself back to the moment as his sparkling gaze met yours. He twirled the record in his hands before gently placing it on the counter. You were deep down gushing about how adorable he was.

“Yeah, still working at that bookshop. But… I think what makes my day really great is coming here and seeing you sometimes. You make everything feel so much lighter, Ted.”

For a moment, Ted seemed surprised by your words, but then his grin widened even further, lighting up his entire face. “Whoa, for real? Thanks, dudette. You’re, like, totally righteous.”

He spun another vinyl, Motley Crüe’s -Kickstart My Heart song blasted through the speakers. He nodded toward you.

“Check this out. Isn’t it totally triumphant?”

You stepped closer, leaning in slightly to hear better, and your shoulders brushed. Your heart skipped a beat. But Ted, being Ted, didn’t seem to notice your nervousness. He turned to you and murmured like he was sharing a secret.

“This is, like, my all-time favorite song. It always makes me feel like everything’s gonna be okay.”

Of course, your crush on Ted wasn’t new. Elizabeth had beaten you to it back in high school, and the two had dated right in front of you. You’d done your best to hide the pain all these years. It was hard. Bill had told you a few months ago that they’d broken up. You weren’t sure what had happened between them…

You took a step closer to look at the vinyl he held, and your fingers brushed lightly against his. A shiver ran through you, but Ted, ever oblivious, just smiled wider, like everything was perfectly normal. Meanwhile, you felt… different, a little lost in that closeness.

Ted leaned forward to adjust the music volume, and suddenly, there was no space between your bodies. You could feel the warmth of his skin, the familiar apple scent of his shampoo on his dark strands, and your heart began to race.

When he straightened, his eyes met yours, a new glimmer in his gaze.

“Wanna see another vinyl? I’ve got something super excellent to show you.”

You couldn’t seem to find your voice, your breath hitching slightly. Was it the music, the closeness, or just Ted himself making your heart pound so hard? “Y-yeah, show me,” you stammered, feeling like an absolute idiot, your eyes locked on his.

Ted spun another vinyl, and Skid Row-Psycho Therapy song boomed through the speakers.

“So, what do you think, dudette? Isn’t it, like, totally excellent?” he asked, nodding along with the beat, his messy hair bouncing with the movement.

“Yeah, it’s… really good,” you replied, smiling, though you weren’t paying much attention to the music. You were too aware of Ted’s presence next to you.

He leaned on the counter beside you, and suddenly, as if struck by a brilliant idea, he jumped up. “Oh, wait! I’ve got something super awesome!”

You watched as he rummaged under the counter, his usual clumsiness sending objects clattering. Finally, he emerged with an old acoustic guitar, a little battered.

“See this? My secret weapon for when the store’s too quiet. Bill says I shouldn’t play it here, but hey, he’s not around, right?” he added with a conspiratorial grin.

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you gonna play something now?”

Ted squinted, exaggerating a look of seriousness. “Is that a question, or, like, a challenge?”

“A bit of both,” you replied, crossing your arms with a teasing smile.

“Alright, brace yourself. I’m gonna play… uh…” He paused, glancing densely at the guitar. “I don’t know what yet. But don’t worry—it’s gonna be awesome!”

He strummed a few clumsy chords, but his beaming grin made the whole scene so endearing that you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. Between two off-key notes, he looked up at you.

“Okay, maybe it’s not exactly most excellent, but… it’s the thought that counts, right?”

“Definitely. I’d say you’ve got a unique style, Ted. Like very… Ted-esque.”

He paused mid-strum, tilting his head with a mock pout.

“Unique, huh? Is that your way of saying I’m bad?”

“No! It means you’re… you,” you said softly, your laughter fading as your gaze met his twinkling eyes.

He set the guitar down, the silence returning, broken only by the faint crackle of the speakers. This time, he didn’t step away.

“You know,” he said, his voice lower now, “we’ve known each other for, like, forever. But sometimes, I feel like there’s so much I don’t get…”

“Like what?” you asked after a silence, your breath catching slightly.

Ted shrugged, hesitating, and for once, his usual grin faltered. “Like… you. What you’re thinking...Sometimes you get this look… like, right now.”

“What kind of look?” you asked, swallowing hard.

“I don’t know babe,” he admitted, adorably awkward, his eyes searching yours. “A look that makes me wanna do… this.”

Did he just call you babe!?

He leaned in slightly but stopped, doubt flickering in his eyes. You could almost feel his breath, yet he didn’t move closer. “But I don’t wanna mess things up between us. You’re, like, super important to me…”

“It’s not weird,” you whispered, your voice warm as your hand brushed his. “It’s just… you.”

Before you could second-guess yourself, you closed the gap, brushing a soft, tentative kiss against his lips. The moment was gentle, hesitant, and wonderfully awkward.

Ted froze for a second as if trying to process what had just happened. Then he pulled back slightly, his cheeks red.

“Whoa,” he said, touching his lips briefly. “That was like… totally excellent.”

You chuckled softly, your heart still racing. He nodded enthusiastically, his messy hair adding to his boyish charm.

“… Does this mean we’re, like, the heroes of our own epic adventure now?”

“Maybe,” you replied, your sly smile barely hiding your own nervous excitement. “But in this adventure, you’d definitely be the bard playing questionable chords to distract the dragons.”

“Woah,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Okay, fair point dudette. But hey, with my legendary music, I’ll totally protect both of us!”

He looked at you for a moment and gently placed his hand over yours, his expression almost hesitant.

“Thanks for coming tonight. I know I’m not the coolest or most excellent dude, but… you make everything so much better.”

“You don’t have to be impressive, Ted. You’re already you, and that’s more than enough,” you replied softly, your tone reassuring.

He gazed at you, his grin softening into something more tender. Then, as if deciding something important, he jumped up.

“Alright, it’s official! Next time, we’re going on a real epic adventure! With dragons. And magical records. But first, we’re finishing tonight with another non-heinous song.”

As he searched for the next track, you leaned back against the counter, your heart feeling lighter, basking in the warmth of the moment you had just shared, your cheeks flushed with a soft pink hue.

[generalkenobee]

Me and my mutuals

[97keanu]

Premise: You and Ted share your first pumpkin patch outing together and return home with more than just a few pumpkins…

Tags: fluff, sweetheart!ted, after excellent before bogus!ted, Halloween activities ensue, short but sweet.

Words: 1.1K

A/N: This is apart of my KeanuWeen event, I am using the prompt “Pumpkin Patch”. Join our community here to see more community wide events!

Crisp bursts of orange and red leaves crunch under your shoes, your hand warmed despite the chill of the October air by your lovely boyfriend, Ted. He walks in a pair of tattered old blue jeans and his brilliant orange jacket that matches the leaves. He sees you admiring him, a soft smile on your face. He flips his shaggy, dark hair about, and smiles that big goofy grin of his before checking in on you.

“You liking our totally rad date so far?” He nods excitedly as he speaks.

You can’t help but blush at his dorky behavior. You and Ted haven’t been dating long, and even though some people may be put off by his laid-back skater attitude, you admire him for his realness. You know if you ask him anything you’re going to get an honest answer, and truly, you don’t think he could lie very well if he tried. Having that security relaxes you beyond belief.

“I’m having an amazing time so far, Ted.” You pause your walk to turn to him, your old sneakers lifting to their tiptoes as Ted leans down to meet you for a quick kiss, his lips soft and kind.

“I’m so stoked to see the pumpkins,” he admits with a grin after your lips part. “I wanna get two really big one’s for us to carve out, I wanna put our bands logo on mine!”

“Oh really? Well, I’m sure we’ll find one that’s like totally, what’s that word you like to say,” You pause, trying to remember. “Bonafide?”

Ted laughs, the kind of laugh that comes from your core, when you find something to be really outrageously funny.

“No, bodacious! Like, you’re a totally bodacious babe for saying that.” He laughs as he corrects you, and you can’t help but find yourself laughing along.

The two of you continue to walk hand in hand, the farm the pumpkin patch is on coming into view. The golden light of the late afternoon bathes the farm in warmth, the fall colors bright and gorgeous. The lazy wind rustles the leaves that snake between your feet, and you watch as other couples and families arrive to find their own perfect pumpkins. You consider just what you’re going to put on yours as you pass through the gates to the farm.

Kids laugh as they run through the pumpkin patch, tiny shoes barely missing green vines and orange, round pumpkins ripe for the taking. Others pick their choices up, weighing their options literally as they decide which will be their prized pumpkin for the night. You wander through the patch aimlessly with Ted, meandering here and there, laughing at funny shaped ones and considering others.

“Look at this one! It, like, totally resembles Bill’s dad!” He picks up a small, bumpy yellow gourd and you have to admit, it does kind of look like Bill’s dad now that he mentions it.

You see a particularly large pumpkin, and you bend down to inspect if it has the proper proportions and orangeness, when you hear a faint meow from behind.

A tiny black and white farm kitten has nestled up behind the pumpkin, greeting you as you come near.

“Oh. My. God.” You say, hardly believing your eyes.

Ted’s head flicks up from where he’s looking as he hears you exclaim, and he bounces over to you with wonder.

“What’s up, babe?” He says, tilting his head in confusion and making his scruffy hair fall into his eyes.

“Ted, you’re not going to believe this.” You say as you scoop up the kitten and slowly turn around to reveal him.

“Woah! That’s totally excellent!” He comes closer, his big puppy dog brown eyes softening and his large hands slowly inching closer.

“I know!” You whisper with excitement as the sleepy kitten curls up against your chest where you gently pet him.

Ted lets the back of his fingers gently stroke the cat’s fur, and the kitten turns to him, looking up at him with big, newly green eyes.

“Oh man, can I hold him?” Ted’s voice is full of excitement that he’s thinly containing, trying to be as quiet as possible.

You lift the kittens warm little body, and he protests softly with a few meows, but ultimately makes it into Ted’s cupped hands. The kitten fits in his tan hands perfectly, curling back up and letting Ted hold him close.

“Rad! I’ve never held a kitten before!” He tries to keep his bouncing to a minimum, only gently rolling back and forth on the balls of his feet.

You hear the soft sound of the kitten purring and you smile as you pet him in Ted’s hands.

“I think he likes you,” You glance up to see Ted’s enourmous smile widen even more. “He’s purring.”

“That means he likes me?” He confirms with you and you nod. “It’s like he has a little engine in there or something!”

“You can keep him if you want,” A voice calls out from nearby, old and slightly gruff.

You two turn, the kitten still sleeping in Ted’s hands, to see an older man leaned up against the side of an even older red barn.

“We got so many of those farm cat’s out here, was hoping someone would pick one up with their pumpkin this year.” He points to the kitten as he speaks. “Looks like that one’s taken a liking to you, boy.”

Ted nods, his excitement clear to see.

“Oh, are you sure, Mister?” You check, not so sure.

“Oh yeah, we try to offload some of the summer kittens around this time. Won’t cost you anything but the price of the pumpkin you pick out with him.” Despite his seemingly rough edges, the man seems genuine. “Just looking to get them to good homes is all.”

Ted’s all but ready to say yes, and you look into those soft brown eyes of his and can’t muster yourself to tell him no.

“Do you think your apartment will let you have a pet?” You try to be the responsible one here, knowing that a pet is more than just something cute to have.

“Yeah! Our neighbor has one in their window all the time!” Ted responds.

“And you‘ll take care of him? Feed him, and play with him, and get all his shots up to date?” You cross your arms, trying to seem tough, but it’s so hard to hide your budding smile.

“Of course! It would be most excellent to have a chill kitten like this as a pet!” His excitement at the thought of it all is clear.

“Alright.” You say, unfolding your arms, and sighing with fake resignation,

You close the gap between you and Ted, hugging him and the kitten.

At the end of the day, you and Ted return to his apartment with more than too great big pumpkins, but a kitten named ‘Patch’ as well.

[ciggy-in-paradise]

Tl;dr: Bill gets his period at Ted's house, and Ted takes care of him!

//Period talk, blood, mentions of dysphoria

~~~~☆~~~~

"Fuck."

Bill huffed under his breath and put a hand to his forehead. He was in Ted's bathroom-- pants down, ass out, and... a mess of blood in the middle of his boxers. He was had been in pain since last night when he came over, but he hadn't thought much about it. When he woke up, however, he knew exactly what was going on.

He was cramping majorly, and tears began to form in the corners of his eyes as he stared down.

Fuck!

He sat there, hands on his knees as he looked at the mess in his pants. What the hell was he gonna do? He didn't bring extra underwear. Would Ted even let him borrow underwear?

Fuck. Ted.

He had to tell Ted. Shit. Fuck. This was most non-non-heinous. He felt so embarrassed and dysphoric and sick all at once.

He looked at the door, tears finally bubbling over. It was all so much. He cried quietly, soft whimpers leaving his mouth as he covered it with his hands.

"T-Ted--" His hoarse voice came tumbling out of his throat, a sharp breath in cutting him off. He was so embarrassed to have to ask Ted for help, but he..certainly couldn't just keep these on.

Ted knocked on the door. "Hey dude! You okay?"

"Could you-- uh. Hm--"

Ted pressed his forehead to the door.

"Yeah?"

"Ted...dude... I started..."

"Started? Dude, I didn't know we were racing!! I'm way behind--"

"-NO, Ted.." Bill tried his best to hide a giggle over his boyfriend's idea.

"Oh. Well what's wrong?"

Bill sighed. "My...period, dude. Shark week."

"Oh!! Hold on, let me grab some stuff, dude."

With that, Ted stepped away. Bill sat quietly, trying to clean himself up and prepare for whatever Ted was bringing him.

There was a quiet knock at the door. "Here, dude!!" Slowly, Ted opened the door and pushed a pad and a pair of boxers through.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of the other stuff, dude. You go back and lay down!"

Bill took the items from his boyfriend and quickly fixed himself up. He hummed quietly and folded up the bloodied underwear, placing them in the tub before washing his hands. Drying them on his old shirt, he stepped out of the bathroom.

Quickly, lanky arms found their way around Bill's midsection and pulled him close. "My poor guy... so strong and brave..."

Bill giggled, burying his face into Ted's tshirt. It was an old one they'd gotten from a local band way back. His focus quickly left the shirt when he felt his boyfriend's lips on his face, however. He giggled and tried to push him away.

"Duuuuude, cut it ouuut--"

Ted continued, pressing soft, quick smooches to his boyfriend's face. Bill couldn't keep from giggling as he slowly made his way back to Ted's room.

He laid down, curling up and getting cozy under the blankets again. Ted was soon to follow, wrapping his lanky body around Bill's curled up form beneath the warm covers. "Hey dude, do you want any like, medicine? I think we have some--"

Bill just snuggled closer, humming quietly. "I just wanna go back to sleep, dude."

"Oh. Alright!" Ted pulled him closer and kissed his head as Bill buried his face in his neck.

It didn't take long for them to both fall back asleep, Ted's quiet snoring filling the small room once again.

~~~~☆~~~~

HIII!! Wrote this for a close friend who wasn't feeling too well!!

As always, shoutout to ☆ @dwaynesbbygrl ☆ for being on the taglist!! Let me know if you'd like to join! <3 ~🚬

[generalkenobee]

Ahahaha I do that😌

WHY IS THERE NO WRITING FOR KEANU REEVES CHARACTERS IM ACTUALLY GOING BALLISTIC, I WANT HIM SO BAD WOOF WOOF GRRR, GOING ACTUALLY FERAL, PLEASE SOMEONE WRITE ABOUT HIM, MATRIX, JOHN WICK, BILL AND TED, CONSTANTINE, MATRIX, MATRIX, MATRIX DID I MENTION MATRIX PLEASE SOMEONE WRITE ABOUT HIS CHARACTER FROM THE MATRIX

WHERE DID MY CLOTHING GO?!?! I WANT HIM SO BAD HONESTLY HOW CAN YOU NOT WRITE ABOUT HIM?? ANGST, FLUFF, SMUT ECT ECT BIG ON FLUFF AND ANGST, THERE IS JUST SO MUCH SMUT IN THE WORLD BUT I WILL TAKE ANYTHING

[keanusteddy]

Just wanna come on here and say thanks for all of the comments, likes and reblogs on my ted logan x reader headcanons! I really didn’t expect people to enjoy it so much. There will be a part 2 coming out soon. I’ll work on it after I release a few more bots (new bot coming tomorrow btw).

[ghcstpyre]

Teddy 🥹 please 👉🏻👈🏻

send me a character and I'll give 5 headcanons about them!

anything for you my darling 💖 and for the anon who also requested ted!

While Ted can't cook to save his life, he's actually really really good at baking! Cakes, cookies, brownies, pastries, you name it and chances are he'll already have a recipe for it floating around somewhere on a scrap piece of paper in his mess of a kitchen. Obviously this skill comes in handy when it comes to making edibles, and yes, he wears a cute apron whenever he bakes. Always still manages to end up covered in flour though.

Kind of related to number 1, but even though Ted is the baker of the duo, he actually works behind the counter at Pretzels & Cheese rather than in the kitchen with Bill. Purely because he's the designated "ladies man" -- he's better at schmoozing the customers (specifically the ladies, let's be honest) and enticing them to buy more than what they came in for. There's always more customers (bodacious babes) coming in on the days when Ted is on shift. He's had to give Bill many lessons on how to make a pretzel properly thanks to a few disasters at work.

Ted loves cars and motorcycles! They're his second love, after music. He could ramble on and on for ages, info dumping about his favourite makes, the mechanics behind them, and his dream car/bike. The first thing he buys with his very first Wyld Stallyns paycheck is his dream bike. Calls it his baby and manages to keep it in pristine condition, despite using it literally all the time. He loves taking you on rides to scenic spots and feeling you pressed against his back with your arms around his waist. It never fails to make him feel like the coolest guy around!

Speed roller. Like, this guy could roll a doob in under a minute. Ted learned how to roll the perfect blunt waaay before he perfected playing the guitar. You, Bill and Ted used to have rolling races before you realised that Ted would win every time. Now it's always you and Bill vs Ted, trying to beat him! Funnily enough, it's his rolling skills that help him get better at playing guitar. He's good with his fingers, what can I say 👀

Ted can sing! He has such a soft, melodic singing voice and he always tends to take lead vocals on Wyld Stallyns' slower ballads and love songs. He's a hopeless romantic, so he also tends to write most of their love songs too. Bill is the bigger metalhead out of the two of them, so he much prefers taking on the crazier, harsher vocals in their songs!

[juniperwoodwell]

Exhausted

Welcome to the first post of my Keanuverse writings! This was a request from @scarlettspectra! I gave myself the goal of 1k words for each character since I'm still learning how to write for them(which I achieved), it's not my best work but I had a ton of fun writing! I hope you enjoy!

Pairing(s): Neo (Thomas Anderson) x F!Reader. Aged up!Ted Theodore Logan x F!Reader. Tom Ludlow x F!Reader

Word count: 3,383k

WARNINGS: use of Y/n, Cursing, suggestive flirting, fluff, a bit of angst, minor references to death, aged up Ted (18-19), most likey OOC for all three.

Notices: For Tom's story it is written in first person. Not sure if they even count as fluff. And I'm not sure why all of them end with sleep... I'm just that exhausted I guess.

-

"Neo" Thomas Anderson.

“Where’s Y/n?” Neo’s voice cut through the hum of conversation in the rec room of their ship. Trinity's shrug was almost imperceptible, but Neo caught it.

“Where do you think?” She didn’t need to elaborate; they all knew Y/n's penchant for losing herself in her work. Neo nodded, understanding, and made his way to find her.

Y/n lay in a chair, her brow smoothed out in sleep, her breaths soft and even. Neo stood beside her, the dim lights casting shadows across her face. He reached out, his fingers brushing against the strands of her hair, a stark contrast to the constant chaos of their reality.

“What does she even do there?” Neo asked Morpheus, who had been waiting nearby.

The older man’s laugh rumbled low. “Whatever she wants. It’s her construct, her rules.”

Neo observed her for a moment longer before making his decision. “Want to join her?” Morpheus asked, knowing the answer already.

When Neo entered Y/n's construct, he was greeted by a world unlike anything he had seen in the Matrix. Towering skyscrapers were replaced by lush trees, the cacophony of the city silenced by the gentle rustle of leaves and the distant chirping of birds.

“Neo, what a surprise.” Y/n's voice reached him before he spotted her, nestled beneath a tree, bathed in the warm glow of simulated sunlight. He approached, the soft grass yielding beneath his boots. She patted the spot beside her, and Neo couldn't refuse. As he settled next to her, Y/n leaned against him, their connection tangible in the serene stillness.

“What are you working on?” Neo gestured towards the notebook nestled in her lap, his eyes lingering on the sketches and notes scrawled within its pages.

“Her,” Y/n replied softly, nodding towards a figure seated at a nearby picnic table, engrossed in a book.

“Your mother?” Neo asked, understanding dawning in his eyes.

Y/n nodded, her gaze distant. “Trying to capture her essence, her spirit. It’s proving more challenging than I anticipated.”

Neo pulled her closer, a silent understanding passing between them. He admired her resilience, her determination to resurrect a piece of her past.

“Tell me what you've achieved,” Neo encouraged, eager to share in her triumphs.

“Well, her physical appearance is mostly accurate, but...” Y/n trailed off, a shadow crossing her features. “But her presence, her aura... that’s proving elusive.”

Neo listened, his heart aching for her. Despite their reality, Y/n persisted in her quest for connection, for closure.

“I feel like I'm at my wit's end,” Y/n admitted, her frustration palpable.

Neo stood, offering his hand. “Let's walk,” he suggested, a small smile tugging at his lips.

Hand in hand, they wandered through the idyllic landscape, the sun casting long shadows across the grass.

“Wits end, huh?” Neo teased gently, the corners of his mouth quirking up.

Y/n rolled her eyes, her laughter echoing in the tranquil surroundings. “A bit dramatic, I suppose.”

As they walked, Neo couldn’t help but admire Y/n's simplicity, her authenticity in a world built on deceit.

“What made you finally decide to join me?” Y/n asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

Neo glanced down at her, his gaze softening. “Curiosity, I suppose. And maybe a bit of... admiration.”

They paused, the world around them shimmering with an ethereal beauty. Neo pulled Y/n close, her warmth seeping into his bones.

As their lips drew near, a jarring ring cut through the peaceful scene. Reality beckoned, but for a moment longer, they lingered in their shared sanctuary.

A few hours after departing the simulation, Y/n navigated the ship's corridor, her steps weary but determined. As she reached her room, she found Neo leaning casually against the doorframe, his presence both comforting and electrifying. “Neo…” she breathed his name, a mixture of longing and anticipation hanging in the air. “Got a moment?” he asked, his voice a low murmur in the dimly lit hallway. She nodded, her resolve wavering in the face of his magnetic pull. “For you? Always,” she replied, her voice a whisper carried on the currents of their shared reality.

Once inside her quarters, Y/n settled onto her bed, the weight of the day settling around her like a heavy shroud. Neo joined her, his presence a grounding force amidst the chaos of their world.

As she removed her shoes, his eyes traced her movements, a silent acknowledgment of the strength she carried within her. When she turned to face him, his touch was urgent, his lips meeting hers with a fierce intensity that ignited a fire within her soul.

In that fleeting moment, time seemed to stand still, the boundaries of their reality blurring as they became lost in the ecstasy of their connection. It was a sanctuary, a brief respite from the trials that awaited them beyond the confines of their shared embrace.

As they pulled away, breathless and exhilarated, Y/n's heart soared, her desire for him consuming her entirely. Neo's laughter echoed in the quiet of the room as he trailed kisses along her jaw, his touch a balm to her restless soul.

Reluctantly, he pulled away, a hint of regret in his eyes. Y/n protested, her need for him palpable in the air between them. “If we continue, you'll never rest,” he cautioned, his voice a gentle reminder of the responsibilities that awaited them.

Y/n met his gaze with defiance, her determination unwavering in the face of his gentle admonishment. “That's not for you to decide,” she countered, her voice a whisper against the backdrop of their shared intimacy.

Neo's smirk was both infuriating and endearing as he regarded her, his gaze lingering on her with a mixture of admiration and desire. “Very well,” he conceded, his fingers trailing along her cheek. “Let's rest, for now.”

Y/n smiled, her eyes alight with mischief as she draped her arms around his neck. “Agreed,” she murmured, pulling him close for one final kiss before surrendering to the call of sleep.

As Neo guided her beneath the covers, Y/n felt a sense of peace wash over her, his touch a soothing balm against the chaos of their days. “Will you stay?” she asked, her voice a soft plea in the darkness.

Neo nodded, his gaze unwavering as he ran his fingers along her back. “Of course,” he replied, his voice a whisper against the silence of the night.

As Y/n drifted into sleep, Neo remained by her side, his presence a steadfast reminder of the love they shared amidst the tumult of their existence. In the warmth of their embrace, they found solace, a sanctuary amidst the storm.

And as the world faded into darkness, they surrendered to the sweet embrace of sleep, their dreams intertwined in the tapestry of their shared existence.

Ted Theodore Logan

-

Ted’s joyful greeting interrupted Y/n’s intense focus, her eyes reluctantly leaving the dense textbook pages. With a weary smile, she raised her gaze to meet his, her exhaustion evident.

"How’s it going, babe!" Ted’s tone brimmed with joy as he slid into the seat beside her, his presence a welcome distraction.

Y/n couldn’t help but smile at his infectious enthusiasm, though she couldn’t hide her weariness. "Very... Very slowly," she sighed, running her hands down her face in exhaustion.

Ted's mischievous grin widened as he settled beside her, his excitement palpable.

As she looked at him, a mix of concern and curiosity flickered in her eyes. "What are you planning?" she asked cautiously, bracing herself for one of Ted’s wild ideas. His grin grew wider, a glint of mischief dancing in his eyes. "I’ve just had the most excellent idea, dudette. Let’s go!" With a swift motion, he grabbed her hand, pulling her up from her seat, his enthusiasm contagious.

Y/n hesitated, her responsibilities tugging at her conscience. "Ted Theodore Logan! I can’t just leave; I’ve got a paper due in the morning," she protested weakly, knowing deep down that Ted’s persuasion was hard to resist. But his determination was unwavering, and before she knew it, she found herself grabbing her jacket as Ted dragged her along to the Circle-K.

Standing before the familiar store, Y/n couldn't help but voice her skepticism. "Really, Ted? The Circle-K again?" Her hands found their way to her hips, her gaze fixed on the unassuming sign above.

Ted shrugged, undeterred by her doubt. "I know, I know. But tonight, we embark on a daring quest: to conquer every slushie flavor they possess!" Y/n couldn’t suppress a laugh at his infectious enthusiasm. "Alright, dude. But this time, you’re footing the bill... with your pretzel money," she teased, a playful grin tugging at her lips.

With a theatrical flourish, Ted swung the door open, bowing as Y/n entered with a mock curtsy, their banter echoing through the aisles as they filled their cups with an array of vibrant colors. But by the time they added the cola flavor, the mix turned a dark purple—not a very appetizing color. Y/n handed Ted her slushie and told him she’d go get some snacks. They met at the counter and pulled out all their loose money. Ted refused to let Y/n spend a dime on anything tonight, so she negotiated a penny, which he agreed to because he couldn’t argue with her logic.

Exiting the store, they embarked on their customary leisurely stroll home, tongues stained and spirits high. Ted's tongue became the subject of Y/n's laughter, prompting a playful exchange as they walked hand in hand. Ted stuck out his tongue, and Y/n laughed loudly. "Your tongue is so purple!"

"You should see yours!" he countered as he nudged her shoulder. She nudged him back a little harder, then bolted ahead. Ted followed after her, catching her with his free hand and pulling her into him. "You’re mine now, babe!"

Their journey led them to Y/n's backyard and her cherished treehouse, adorned with twinkling lights. It was her sanctuary, a haven away from the chaos of the world.

Ted sat down on one of the three beanbag chairs on the floor of the treehouse. They hadn’t had much time together lately. Y/n had been sent to an all-girls high school after getting into trouble too many times, being the third member of a certain-rockin'-duo. Ted and Bill had blamed themselves for a while, but now, they all had their own paths. Y/n was an A-student, and the boys were still very passionate about their band.

Y/n sat on the floor beside the window, next to where Ted was sitting. She looked out toward her house; her parents were in the dining room building a puzzle. 'How boring' she thought.

"Y/n," Ted’s usually bouncy, aloof demeanor wasn’t present in his voice. When she looked over at him, she saw the vulnerability she saw in him when he was around his father. "Yeah, Teddy?" The rare use of that nickname caused his heart to race. Only she could call him that, only Y/n. He looked away and shook his head, finishing off his slushie. Y/n sat up and placed her hand on his knee. "What’s wrong?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

"I- It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it," he quickly smiled to cover up his sullen attitude. "That won’t cut it. Tell me, or I’m kicking you out." He laughed. "Again!? But I just got pardoned!" he exclaimed gleefully.

Y/n stood up, her hands on her hips. "Teddy, I’m going to sit down." She spoke but didn’t give him a chance to respond. She straddled his hips, causing them to sink further into the beanbag. Ted’s face erupted in red, his ears, cheeks, and neck red as a tomato.

"Talk." She crossed her arms, knowing this was like Wonder Woman's lasso of truth to him.

Ted groaned, a mix of surprise and irritation. "Fine. I was gonna tell you anyway! You didn’t need to..." He motioned to her hips. She raised a curious brow, and his head fell back. "You’re acting like I don’t do this all the time." His head snapped back up, and he glared at her playfully, his hair looking wilder than usual. Y/n reached forward to thread her fingers through it. Ted’s eyes fluttered shut at the feeling.

"I miss you," he admitted softly, his hands finding their places on her hips. Y/n’s face softened in understanding. "Oh- I see… I have been really busy, haven’t I?" Ted nodded. Y/n continued to play with his hair. "You haven’t been around; even Bill misses you."

Y/n hummed. "Yes, I bet he does. But my sweet boyfriend misses me more, doesn’t he?"

"More than anything," his words were slow and mumbled. He was exhausted; this was probably weighing on him more than he realized.

Y/n removed herself from his lap; his hands reached for her as he groaned in protest. "Hold on for a sec, babe." Y/n spoke sweetly as she moved to open the trunk in the corner of the treehouse.

She pulled out a thick, fuzzy blanket and then moved back over to Ted. She sat down in his lap, her legs draped over his, and her head rested on his shoulder as she put the blanket over them. "Teddy, I’ll try and make more time for you and Bill. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner that I was neglecting you." He shrugged tiredly, a goofy, tired smile on his lips, his eyes still shut as he struggled to keep his head up. "It’s totally cool, babe, no worries," she smiled at his words, allowing sleep to consume her.

Tom Ludlow

-

The sun was setting over LA, casting a warm glow that enveloped the balcony of my apartment. The fading daylight's gentle warmth kept me company as I lounged outside. A cold glass of iced tea sat on the table beside me, the ice cubes clinking softly as they melted. It was 7 o’clock, and I waited patiently, soaking in the tranquility of the evening.

Thirty minutes passed, and finally, the door to my apartment swung open and then slammed shut. "I’m home," my boyfriend's rough, tired voice echoed through the space. I rose from my chair on the balcony and made my way inside. "Green, Yellow, or Red?" I inquired, our signal for the mood we were in after work: Green for great, Yellow for moderate, Red for really shitty. I found him by the front door, shrugging off his coat. I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorway.

"Red. Bright fucking red," he grumbled. I nodded silently, understanding that it was my cue to let him set the pace. When he turned to face me, his shoulders visibly softened. "Look at you. Did you dress up for me, or?" he teased, a smirk playing on his lips. Even on Red days, we didn't bring our troubles home; they stayed on the doorstep. But we would address them eventually.

I smiled and shrugged, playfully turning away and heading towards the kitchen, with his heavy footsteps trailing behind me. His favorite meal awaited him on the table, along with a beer at his usual spot. He chuckled as he took in the spread. "You're amazing," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist and kissing the top of my head. I leaned into him, and he embraced me tightly, seeking solace.

"Don’t tiptoe around me tonight; I’ll be alright," he confessed, turning me to face him. His eyes scanned me from head to toe. I wore his favorite outfit—not too flashy, just the right mix of sweet and sexy. "Shall we eat?" I nodded, kissing the corner of his mouth, feeling his hands softly gripping my hips. I could tell he needed to unwind, and I was determined to help him relax.

So we sat down to dinner. I held a glass of wine in my hand while he nursed his first beer. Across from each other at the dining table, he turned the attention to me. "How was your day, sweetheart?" he inquired. I hummed, "Boring. Forced leave is stupid." He rolled his eyes. "You fell down a flight of stairs and had a mild concussion. I think it’s justified," he remarked. I scoffed, "I wouldn’t be here if I had just bought those new shoes you told me to." Tom chuckled, taking a long sip from his bottle. My wine remained barely touched.

"You're worried," he stated, knowing me like the back of his hand. He could read me like a book, even from the day we met. "Yes... I mean, you rarely have Red days anymore, so of course I’m worried," I confessed. He nodded, understanding, placing the bottle on the table before standing up from his seat. Standing beside me, he lifted my chin and kissed me tenderly. I melted into his embrace; I was supposed to be the one to relax him, not the other way around.

He pulled me up from my seat, guiding me to the living room as he peppered kisses along my jawline. His warmth enveloped me as his body pressed against mine. Sitting me on the couch, he knelt in front of me, and I tilted my head, curious. He smirked, "I can’t let my girl get stressed over me," he declared, his knuckles brushing against my ankles as he slipped off my heels. My eyes brimmed with affection as I watched him. What a sap. I chuckled at the thought, and his gaze met mine, his smile genuine.

"What’s so funny?" he inquired. I shook my head, smiling. His eyes darkened, locking onto mine like a predator eyeing its prey. Tossing my shoes aside, he stood up, maintaining his intense gaze. "I won’t ask again," he asserted with feigned authority. "You're a sap," I teased. He laughed, a genuine, happy sound. Surprised, he smiled. "A sap, huh? Why don’t you slip into something comfy, and I’ll come find you in the bedroom."

I nodded and stood, grabbing his hand and giving him a brief kiss before darting off to our shared bedroom. "Comfy" meant wearing his shirt and a pair of PJ shorts. I sat on the bed, organizing my bedside table, removing empty pill bottles and water bottles. This room had become my sanctuary during my leave, but I had let it become cluttered. As I threw away the last bottle, Tom entered the room. His expression was soft, and I noticed his hands were damp.

"Did you wash the dishes?" I asked. He nodded. "Oh, Tommy, you didn’t have to," I said, touched. He shrugged, "It gave me some time to think. Ready for bed?" I nodded wearily, then crawled under the covers. I watched him as he shut the bedroom door and began undressing, but he disappeared into the bathroom to change. "Tease!" I exclaimed, hearing his deep chuckle from the other side of the door. "Nothing you haven’t seen before, baby," he quipped.

When he emerged, he wore a pair of low-waisted black sweatpants. Nothing else. It was warm, and I didn't blame him. He climbed into bed, and we leaned against the headboard, me nestled against him with a book in hand. He turned on the TV, the volume low, quickly finding a rerun of an old TV show. This was our routine. If we weren’t tired, I would read while he watched something.

Tucked against his chest, I read my book. "How many is this?" he asked. "Four. Hopefully, next weekend I’ll have finished the fifth one," I replied. He hummed, kissing my head. "We lost an officer today. He was just a kid. It really hit me hard, and I’m not sure why," he confessed. I placed my book face down, looking up at him. "Oh, baby…" I caressed his face, kissing his cheek. He held my hand, kissing my palm.

"I’ll be alright. I’m taking the day off tomorrow. It’ll be just us," he assured me. I smiled, nuzzling back into him. "I like the sound of that. A day of infinite possibilities." We relaxed into each other, my book untouched, and the TV left on. A peaceful slumber enveloped us in its warmth.

[tedsbogusjourney]

Gamble

Guard!Ted "Theodore" Logan X Player!fem!reader genre : angst a/n: this is a Squid Game AU. It randomly came into my mind when I was watching an episode of season 2 yesterday.

Ted Logan’s mind was all over the place. He wanted to avoid your worried eyes, he’d always hated that expression on your face. If he were some sadist, he'd have relished every second of it. Yet, he was not. He knew he was soft. His father never missed any opportunity to remind him that. A frustrated frown etched in his features. He couldn't bear the thought nor the sight of you being in such distress, especially in such a stupid game. He removed his guard helmet, planting his deep honey brown eyes into yours, dark brown bangs grazing his pale skin in the process. Then, he read shock and surprise on your face as you brought one shaking hand to your lips, your form shaky.

“...Please, don't be afraid. It's just me.”

How could he explain it to you? That he wasn’t just here for himself, but for Bill too? Bill had gotten tangled in some bad deals, owing a debt so massive that Ted couldn’t see a way out for his best friend. Bill always had a knack for dreaming big, but this time, those dreams had dragged him into danger. Ted couldn’t stand the thought of losing him, not just because Bill was the other half of Wyld Stallyns, but because without Bill, life felt hollow. Joining the game was his way of fixing everything, even if it meant risking his own life in the process. He was broke, a college dropout and his father hated him even more than back then he was a high school teen. He was a failure. Money felt like the only answer to all his problems. Ted wanted to pursue that mission till the end for the reward to have a semblance of life.

“How could you-”

Was the only thing you could muster, feeling shaken to the core as you unconsciously took a step back. He suddenly approached you, cupping your face gently as he felt the wetness of your tears, ignoring the hurt in your eyes.

“I had to do this, for Bill. He’s in trouble, and I can’t just sit back and let him lose everything!

A silence went on.

“I will do everything to make you escape…You have to quit that game. Or else you'll die,” he said in a low tone, almost in a whisper.

Your breath hitched as you shook your head, plunging your teary eyes into his. His calloused hands felt soft and reassuring against your face despite the circumstances. You needed that money too, to save your sick mother. He gave you the same puppy look he usually gave you whenever he felt upset. He searched for a flicker of hope in your gaze but found only the weight of your own battles.

“I can’t leave,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “Not while she still has a chance.”

Ted swallowed hard, his hands trembling slightly against your skin. He knew you were talking about your mother, and he knew, even more, that no words could convince you to run.

“Then I’ll stay,” he said at last, his voice laced with newfound determination.

You shook your head firmly, but he suddenly pressed his forehead to yours, his warm breath brushing against your cheek as you took in his familiar, soft scent.

“I’ll stay… and I’ll protect you,” he insisted, a sad smile softening his tired features.

Your heart clenched, torn between wanting to scream at him to leave and the brutal comfort of his presence. The alarms echoed faintly in the distance, a grim promise, but in this suspended moment, there was only the two of you in that dim, dark, abandoned hallway. During his time here, he had learned the layout of the place and all its hidden spots.

“Ted…” you began, but he gently cut you off.

“Wyld Stallyns,” he murmured, a faint smile tugging at his lips. “We’re gonna need you to write our best song. ”

And as his words sparked the faintest glimmer of hope, the darkness of the game seemed to close in tighter around you both. Ted hesitated for a moment, his deep honey-brown eyes scanning your tear-streaked face as if memorizing every detail. His calloused thumb brushed your cheek, and before you could say anything, he leaned in, closing the space between you.

His lips were soft, warm, trembling slightly against yours, a mix of desperation and tenderness that made your breath catch. The kiss was fleeting but full of unspoken promises, as if it were his way of saying everything he couldn’t put into words.

When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’m not letting you face this alone.”

[generalkenobee]

hello! do you have anymore ted logan headcanons you'd be up for sharing? or possibly evil robot ted? im currently experiencing ted logan brainrot because I recently watched the first 2 films for the first time and I have the PHATTEST crush on ted lol it's embarrassing

AHHHH YESYESYES I DO THANK YOU YESYESYESYES I LITERALLY HAVE SOOOO MANY TED LOGAN IDEAS YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

Warnings: contains both SFW and NSFW

🎸cutie patootie! Ted

- oh my gosh he loves you

- he'll do anything you ask.. anything!

- once in history looked at Bill and said "dude I'm totally a president!" After learning about teddy Roosevelt

-smells you...like a lot

-gives the best hugs ever like actually

-youre the first to get your license in the relationship so you drive him to school every morning while he plays music

-lets you paint his nails and put makeup on him

-always holding hands

-definition of a gentle giant

-his hands are about twice the size of yours

-likes to be the little spoon

-Ted Theodore Logan can not cook.

-please play with his hair

-the first time you complained about your period his dead ass response was "what's that?" 💀

-his dad doesn't really like you but he doesn't really like anyone so it's ok

-him sneaking in your room in the middle of the night while everyone is asleep>>>

NSFW

-sub/ gentle dom

-you'll never forget the noise he said when he first slid in it was like "wait wait wait oh my- I augh.. please no.. it's too much please i-" and it was only half his length-

-sososososoo pussy whipped

-lazy sex

-gently jerky him while he sits on his bed and tells you about his day

-PERV!

-literally taking peaks down your blouse all the time

-lovesss to suck on your boobs while you run your fingers through his hair, holding him close to you

-wont tell anyone what you do together because it's such an intimate moment

-other than Bill...

-bursts into the room while holding your hand pulling you along " BILL BILL BILL GUESS WHAT WE JUST DID!!"

-doesn't realize how horny you get when you see him play

-hes also clueless so..this is how that plays out

"Ted you're so good at guitar.." you said biting your lip looking him up and down "your fingers just move so fast baby" your sweet boyfriend looked up at you from his instrument smiling "thanks babe!" After he said that he quickly looked back down working on his music. You say there looking him in the eye rubbing your thighs together while literally telling him how much you loved his fingers and he just looked away

-hes a massive pervert but he's clueless at the same time yk?

-does not know how to please you the first time so just be patient and tell him what you like

-first time he ate you out was like a dog trying to get peanut butter out of one of those toys..

-I feel like he would excel at fingering you..I mean have you seen the guys hands? And he plays guitar?

-sneaking in just to finger you>>

-lord please moan his name while he's rutting up into you..

IF YOU WANNA HEAR ABOUT MORE OF EVIL! TED LET ME KNOW I KINDA JUST DID CUTIE! TED FOR THISSS🩷

[97keanu]

₊‧꒰ঌ ໒꒱‧ ° Here is the prompt list for our community wide event if anyone wants to join in! The orange side is for more fluffy fall prompts and the red side is for more horror style prompts, feel free to pick and choose whichever or do both if you'd like!

₊‧꒰ঌ ໒꒱‧ ° I would love it if we could use the #keanuween on here so everyone can find the event and would be happy to be tagged in any keanuween posts (so I can read and reblog them!)

₊‧꒰ঌ ໒꒱‧ ° Event starts with

week 1: Oct. 1-6

week 2: 7-13

week 3: 14-20

week 4: 21-27

week 5: 28-Nov. 2(for any late fics!).

Feel free to do as little or as many as you want! I just want to read some fall time stories about my pookies even if that means you only have time to do 1!

₊‧꒰ঌ ໒꒱‧ ° All are welcome to participate, writers, artists, gifmakers, editors, ANYONE who wants to create ANY kind of fanwork for the event! If you'd like a space to share your work further, consider joining our community!

[telekineticseance]

MASTERLIST

🍯 - fluff

✨ - smut

🔅 - angst

KINKTOBER ‘23 LIST

MATT STONE

🍯✨ : CIRCUMSTANCES series (matt x f!assistant reader) [COMPLETED]

- circumstances (part one) 🍯

- losing it (part two) 🍯

- working man (part three) 🍯

- entre nous (part four) 🍯

- bravest face (part five) 🍯

- chemistry (part six) ✨

- fly by night (part seven) ✨

- open secrets (part eight) 🍯

- in the mood (part nine) ✨

- closer to the heart (part ten) ✨

- time stands still (bonus christmas part) ✨

✨: tied up (matt x f!reader)

🔆 : kiss the bride (matt x gn!reader)

✨ : first time - kinktober ‘23 (matt x f!reader)

✨ : ten more minutes - kinktober ‘23 (matt x f!reader)

✨ : incapable - kinktober ‘23 (matt x gn!reader)

✨ : not yet - kinktober ‘23 (matt x f!reader)

✨ : smoke signals - kinktober ‘23 (college!matt x gn!reader)

✨ : the rockstar’s gf - kinktober ‘23 (dvda!matt x f!reader)

✨ : reunion - kinktober ‘23 (matt x f!reader)

TREY PARKER

🍯✨ : FASCINATION STREET series (professor!trey x f!student reader) [IN PROGRESS]

- fascination street (part one) 🍯

- strange attraction (part two) 🍯

- to wish impossible things (part three) 🍯

🍯✨ : DANCER series (90s!trey x f!stripper reader) [IN PROGRESS]

- part one 🍯

- part two 🍯

- part three ✨

🍯✨ : FAMILY FRIEND series (trey x f!reader) [COMPLETED]

- part one 🍯✨

- part two 🍯✨

- part three ✨

✨ : edge of glory (trey x gn!reader)

✨ : carnival rides (trey x f!reader)

✨ : never again (trey x f!reader)

✨ : purple passion - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

✨ : demolition lovers - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

✨ : call me - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f! reader)

✨ : secrecy - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

✨ : late night - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

✨ : drive in - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

✨ : across the way - kinktober ‘23 (trey x f!reader)

DOUG REMER

✨ : new experience (remer x f!reader)

🍯✨ : headcanons - reader with nippie piercings

✨ : hail to the king (remer x afab!reader)

✨ : noise complaint - kinktober ‘23 (doug x f!reader)

✨ : neighbors - kinktober ’23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : between us - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : did you miss me - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : trio - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader x joe cooper)

✨ : locker room showers - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : queen’s throne - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : november - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader)

✨ : alone - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x gn!reader)

JOE COOPER

✨ : you’re fired (coop x f!reader)

🔅 : masterpiece (coop x nb/gn!reader)

🍯✨ : headcanons - reader with nippie piercings

✨ : trio - kinktober ‘23 (doug remer x f!reader x joe cooper)

✨ : third base - kinktober ‘23 (joe cooper x f!reader)

✨ : poolside - kinktober ‘23 (joe cooper x gn!reader)

✨: asphyxia - kinktober ‘23 (joe cooper x f!reader)

JOE YOUNG

✨ : ineffable - kinktober ‘23 (joe x gn!reader)

✨ : after midnight - kinktober ‘23 (joe x f!reader)

DAVE THE LIGHTING GUY

✨ : camera shy - kinktober ‘23 (dave x gn!reader)

✨ : safe word - kinktober ‘23 (dave x f!reader)

TED ‘THEODORE’ LOGAN

✨ : study buddies (ted x afab!reader)

[ijustreallylikepirates]

DCCOCE4 !!! 🗣️💥🔥❗️

-“what like it’s hard?” LMAO BOYKISSER

-WHYD HE SNATCH IVY LIKE THAT

-aw i wish i was Ivy so i could pet benjis head

-“and here I am a bottom” DID YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU JUST SAID HONEY

-WHY IS DIEGO HUGGING A MANGO

-GAY

-GAY

-EVEN JADE KNOWS IT

-THEY HELD HANDS THEY WANT EACH OTHER

-SPENCER X DIEGO CANON

-LOOK AT THE WAY DIEGO LOOKS AT SPENCET

-I SMELL LGBTQ

-“Diego’s crush” SEE SHE KNOWS IT

-ITS SO OBVIOUS

-WHY DID BENJI HIT THE GLISTEN POSE

-LMAO

-THE WINK PLEASE

-STOP DOING THE POSE YOU ARE NOT GLISTEN

-WHY DID BRO POINT AT ME

-I feel violated

-Ivy x zaid !!!

-kiss now

-why did bro get freaky at the crab 😭🙏🏻

-LMAO THE CENSOR ON THE PINCERS LMAO

-that huddle looked weird from that angle 😭🙏🏻

-“old farts like me and Theodore” LMAOOO

-“it was… fine” GAYYYY

-bro the way my smile immediately dropped when Lynda walked on screen 😭🙏🏻

-EW LYNDA STOP BEING HOMOPHOBIC

-“I hope your daughter is okay” I HOPE YOUR SONS ARE OKAY HAVING YOU FOR A MOTHER

-“well I’m fucked” never been a realer sentence

-LMAO THE CLOWN FITS

-I’m loving the Anastasia Logan friendship

-RICHARD LAUGHS LIKE A VILLAIN LMAO

-SERVES LYNDA RIGHT

-EVEN TRISTAN KNOWS

-“but only for you” SAPPHIC

-THE WAY THEY BOTH SEARCHED FOR THEIR GLASSES AT THE SAME TIME LMAO

-THESE NERDS

-ARE THEY WEARING EACH OTHERS GLASSES LMAO

-THE WAY HE SNATCHED HIS GLASSES AND THREW BENJI’S BACK LMAO

-LMAO LOGANS FACE

-I LOVE HIM MY SILLY

-THE SACRIFICE THE DRAMA THE DEATH

-they would be good actors fr

-Shakespeare who?

-LMAO THE WAY TED SHOOTS HIM AND WALKS AWAY

-I CANT

-HES SO SICK OF THEIR SHIT

-RIGHT IN THE FOREHEAD

-Diego is such a sweetheart omg I want him

-the wedding is tomorrow

-THE WAY DEREK CALLED OUT LOGAN AND SPENCER LMAO

-“you’re one of the girls” LMAO ONE EPISODE OF QUEERNESS FROM LOGAN AND THEY CALL HIM A GIRL

-“sounds dandy” DANDYS WORLD MENTIONED

-I’m sorry Lynda, romance? Anastasia and Logan??? Nuh uh it’s Marissa x Anastasia and watercolors (no hate to other ships lol don’t come at me)

-I LOVE TREVEK MY GAYS

-THEYRE SO CUTE

-YES BYE TED LMAO

-KARMA FOR ALESSIO

-LOGAN PLEASE DONT BE SAD I LOVE YOU

-why do they all read “Riya’s still a parasite glad you moved on Connor” in the same voice bro 😭🙏🏻

-“well get in line” HE KNOWS TOO

-Ted reading these names is like me trying to do anything in physics

-THE JAZZ HANDS LMAO

-is blud dyslexic

-“that aged well” LMAO

I LOVED THIS LMAO

THE CLOWNS THE QUEERNESS EVERYTHING

COME ON TRISTAN YOU GO BABY