#THIS IS A SATIRE EDIT IM NOT TRYING TO BE EDGY

[sleepi-toasti]

what did i just create💀💀 (read tags) (maybe flash warning???)

credits for template:

i got the videos of melman from marlex12 on Tumblr

[martyrbat]

anyways verbatim my very toned review of arkham asylum a silly house on serious earth or whatever that got me called (more or less) a hater by a comic bro:

half a star purely for some interesting art at moments. it doesn't always work for the scene but i can appreciate someone doing something new and exciting in a medium dominated by predictability for capitalist value (and that the irony of grant not liking the art is more entertaining than the comic itself.) if this comic is good for anything it's because it made me curious to see if dave mckean has worked on an actual good comic

but in reading the actual comic and script, im stuck by morrison's inability to write a compelling story once again. they remain to believe that edgy means entertaining and that their heavy handed symbolism will somehow be considered deep by anyone older than 14. the frustrating thing is that i can see scraps of potential yet those fleeting moments aren't scavengeable as you progress through 128 pages of morrison jerking themself off. from whining about readers not understanding their symbolism to complaining about mckean's art repeatedly and blaming him for the lackluster plot not getting the praise they deemed it was worth.

however, if you ask me, any praise is more than what its worth. the motif of a 'living, hungry' house is something i adore usually and yet the excitement of a vast concept falls flat as i read the same beats repeatedly to the point that any symbolism that was good loses its spark and gets muddied as he piles more and more on top of it. morrison seems more focused on trying to prove they have the ability to be creative that they fail to actually do anything good with said creativity. the pacing of the comic is jarring, even without mckean's visuals to blame it on. some moments drag while others never linger when it would be most effective to do so. you can argue its to make a dissociating, dizzying effect as batman descends into the madhouse that is arkham asylum but having the unfortune of reading other morrison work—i know its not intentionally.

and batman—what to even say about him other than hes written entirely out of character!! again, i read the script and know as some points it was intentional but to write appropriate satire, you have to be aware of what youre mocking which morrison clearly doesn't. instead, they think theyre oh so clever in pointing behavior out in old comics while falling into the same hole that they seem to be ridiculing. i can understand dramatized behavior, especially with the implications of it being a dream instead of something actually happening—but in numerous nightmares bruce has had, he's never acted like this and they seem to imply this is the man he truly is underneath his cowled restraint and self willed control and that hes as 'bad' as the criminals he condemns without ever doing anything interesting with said criminals.

the patients of the asylum aren't treated empathetically nor cause any interesting confrontations with our hero as he stumbles down the asylum's corridor—instead their only purpose is for striking and sometimes bewildering character designs and script beats that are meant to make the reader disgusted. two dent unable to make a basic decision like to use the restroom didnt do it? how about clayface whos described by morrison as 'walking aids'? the book replies on gut reaction repulsion from the reader to cover-up for how tedious the book is—which makes the remark about morrison hating the art go from merely ironic to caustic.

the anniversary edition only includes a quick note by mckean about restoring the comic to how it was intentionally meant to be seen before it goes into a 66 page original script from morrison and finger pointing at mckean is disappointing. i was hoping for maybe some details on the art or talking about the unorthodox method he used in creating his work, but was, once again, disappointed. but the script does allow you to note some things that were altered (if you can manage to slug through it) includes but isn't limited to: a slight antisemitic remark that made it in the final cut, more exploitation of shamanism (which, historically, is associated with Indigenous and tribal societies)—and especially the way it corresponds with the repeated use of catholicism imagery to symbolize completeness or good. the odd bursts of misogyny and freudianism in the notes, weird moral panic esque tendencies involving sex and gender, and a repeated theme of characters crossdressing to signify their descend into insanity... morrison proves that they are the exact thing they place themselves above. its nearly fascinating to see someone so un-self aware but its mostly just really annoying when you remember what a piece of shit they are.

the idea that this is considered one of the greatest batman comics is bewildering and insulting to anyone who is familiar with the character or comics as a whole. i once again applaud anyone for trying something new but you can't use inventiveness to cover up for quality and lack thereof. recommend it for the art at the very most but otherwise it'll go down as yet another lackluster story from morrison and will hopefully one day be forgotten about along with the rest of their mediocre-at-best work.

do you know how shitty a comic has to be for me to go hang around my mother for a hour to calm down from being so mad