#THIS BITCH'S DELUSION IS OFF THE CHARTS OH MY GOD

[zazikels]

i would love to be as delusional as the dragon demands about anything LMAO

[evangelinesbible]

Hi sydney! I hope you have a nice day, and I love your account ❤

You remind me of Goddess Eris from Sinbad, everytime I see her it's remind me of you.

My big six are :

Taurus sun 23°

Taurus mercury rx 12°

Taurus rising 1°

Scorpio moon 5°

Aries venus 28°

Aquarius mars 13°

Thank you! 🥰

Oh my god baddieeee thank you so much. I won’t say I’m that much of an agent of chaos like her but aesthetically I get it

Off the bay I love your Taurus energy. Very Venusian and I love Scorpio moon’s they’re my babies fr. Your chart ruler is in Aries (same) so a bold and head strong way of presenting yourself is apparent. Taurus risings are gorgeous of course being ruled by Venus and are usually very sweet and are the more mellow side of Venusian traits. Idk how I feel about Aquarius mars I’d say I’m very indifferent mostly. Yours would be conjunct my Neptune almost exactly and mars - Neptune synastry is something I don’t think I’ve ever experienced but intuitively I’m getting that you’d be someone who’d push me to believe in my delusions/dreams 😭Your Sun conjuncts my Mars and I’ve had this synastry before and it gives me a very flirty fun time but it can also get annoying very quick. I prefer the earlier degree Taurus suns because of it 💀 mercury conjuncts my Venus tho which is great, I love Taurus mercuries they’re so chill and fun to talk to for me.

Overall vibe: she’s a pretty bitch who’s feeds my delusions

[softupshur]

When This Blows Over: Chapter 3

Can also be read here

A continuation of this

“The variants are loose, the doctors are dead, and I have no one but myself to count on to clean up this mess.”

I never realized how maddening the layout of this place was until now. It’s been an hour and I have yet to find a way out of here. The one exit I did find was blocked from the other side.

Damn whoever thought that was a good idea.

They better hope I never find them, or getting fired will be the least of their worries.

I stopped walking and took a deep breath to calm myself. I didn’t have the luxury to get angry. Not yet. I had to keep my focus on surviving through the night. I just had to hold on until Tactical got here, then I could go home and drink this all away.

But they weren’t here yet. I had to carry on whether I liked it or not.

With my priorities back in order, I pressed forward.

The male ward was mostly quiet, aside from a few patients too broken to notice me. I should have enjoyed the break, but it was all too easy. There was always a catch. Always.

“Hey, there’s one!”

I looked over my shoulder at a couple variants standing at the end of the hall. Though I would have preferred there to be only one, I was glad they were of a reasonable enough size for me to put up a fight if need be.

Still, I chose to run. Only this time, I knew it was for convenience, rather than cowardice. I kept an eye out for open doors and dove into the first one I could find. I slammed the door behind me. I searched for a lock, but I was forced to settle on using the bed as a barricade.

It would hold well enough, but there was a second door I had to worry about. I slammed it shut and searched for something to keep it closed, but there was nothing, and the pounding was coming from both doors.

I didn’t worry about the barricaded entrance. I held my baton and kept my eyes on the unprotected entrance. It wasn’t long until the door fell from its hinges at the variant’s efforts, but before he could attack, I landed a hit on the side of his head. It should have been enough for him to lose consciousness, but when it came to these mutants, it was only enough to stun and dizzy him for a few moments, but it was long enough for me to shove him aside and make a run past him, down the hall.

For a time, it was enough to run them in circles. I hoped for them to lose interest, but a dead end put a kink in my plan. Then came the pounding at the door.

I first looked up for a vent, but there was only a dumb waiter in the room. It was just big enough for me to squeeze into and it would have to do for my escape. I pressed the button and the small gate opened. I went into it and pressed the button to take me up.

The gate closed me in, as the variants knocked the door down, and the waiter took me away, but I didn’t relax yet.

While the waiter gave me an escape, it could very well bring me into another danger. I kept my guard and hold on the baton, but when the waiter made its stop, I saw nothing out of the ordinary. Only a wide, open room.

Nothing I could see was a cause for concern, but when I stepped out of the waiter, groans and screams echoed from the halls. Not the enraged or hysterical cries I’ve heard all night, but something pathetic and desperate.

I kept hold of my weapon. I braced myself for an ambush as I started down the hall, but all I found were mangled men strapped to beds. They looked even worse than the variants and they pleaded for death that I didn’t have the time to give them. I would have passed them by completely if I didn’t recognize one of the voices.

“B-Blaire...is that you?”

I stopped to stare at one of the men on the beds. He looked more like a corpse than a man, but I knew the voice belonged to one of the men from the business department. I should have ignored him, but seeing a fellow executive in such a sorry state was worth investigating if just to avoid ending up in his place.

“Gary? Who the hell did this to you?”

“Not...not a patient. An e...executive...like...us…”

I stepped back. I knew the engine could get into the heads of the employees. Even I suffered a migraine or two on its account, but I had never seen an employee suffer anything worse than a night terror and some mad ramblings. None of them ever hurt anyone except…

Shit.

I should have taken my chance with the variants downstairs. Hell, I’d rather navigate around Walker again than risk another minute here.

I became careless. I walked too fast. I forgot to look over my shoulder, and it left me wide open for an attack from the shadows.

I was then face to face with a haggard old man. He looked like someone skinned him alive, chewed him up, then spit him back out. He’d probably be dead where he stood if not for the drip in his arm pumping god knows what in him to keep him alive. He looked like nothing but skin and bones, but still had the strength to deliver a powerful blow to my stomach with the bone shears he carried.

I clutched to my wound and found blood on palm. I stumbled backwards, and waited for it to end there, when the asshole spoke to me.

“Jer?”

The last I saw of Rick was when they wheeled him away to the engine. I could still hear him pleading for me to stop it, as if I had another choice.

“Rick?”

The remains of what used to be the head of business development threw its head back and laughed.

“Well, you really are a sight for sore eyes, buddy!” He held out his hand to help me up and for some reason, I accepted the help.

“What the fuck is going on here?” I asked when I stood. My gut was hurting like a bitch, but I wouldn’t let him know it.

“You can’t tell? It’s the new business model!” He motioned to the carnage and viscera like it was another one of his loaded charts. God, did he know how to ramble at those meetings. Always went over time.

The memory made me groan and rub my temple. I really didn’t have the time for this, but I would rather he talk my ear off than use those scissors again. At least until I figured out my next plan of action.

“Sure thing, but you’re going to want to take a seat for this one!” He took a wheelchair by one of the gurneys and offered it to me.

I’ll admit it was nice to sit down, if just for a chance to recover from my new wound, and if I could just keep Rick talk, he’d be too caught up in the sound of his own voice to hurt me again.

When I took my seat, Rick came behind and pushed me around like I was some invalid. It was humiliating, but my gut hurt too much to argue.

“So you know this whole Walrider business, right?”

“Of course I do. That’s the whole reason we’re here.”

“Well you remember the Crypt Keeper’s memo last month, right?”

I chuckled at the nickname for old Wernicke. “God he made us sit through a whole meeting just to make sure we don’t worship the damn thing. Lasted a whole fucking hour.”

“But do you know why we had to sit through that?”

“Because some of our interns were stupid enough to believe the patient delusions. Everyone knows this.”

“That’s what I thought too, but there’s more to it.”

“Oh?”

“This Walrider bullshit is a bigger moneymaker than we thought possible, and I think Wernicke wanted that little secret all to himself.”

“And what secret is that?”

“That letting this thing be worshiped is actually a recipe for instant profit!”

“God, Rick. Don’t tell me you’re a born again through the Walrider now.”

Rick laughed. “Aw, Jer. What kind of moron do you take me for? You and I both know that thing is just science gone too far! I’m just saying that letting others worship the thing can help our cause here.”

I guess this was a collaborative project now.

“You still haven’t said how this benefits us.”

“C’mon, Jer! You gotta get creative here! Do you never see the collection tray passed around at Sunday service? Those zealots are loaded!”

“God, I don’t even remember the last time I went to church, but I think I get your point. You’re looking to exploit a new religion?” I hate to admit, but he was almost onto something.here. Maybe if the engine didn’t fry his brain, I could have taken him seriously.

“Now you’re up to speed! Look at what it’s done already!” He stopped the wheelchair in the doorway of another room of mutilated men. If nothing else, he was certainly thorough. “Do you think I could have gotten all these test subjects without Wernicke’s project floating around? I tell you, buddy, the Walrider is just the start! Now that I’m getting the hang of this whole doctor thing, I think I’m really close to a breakthrough! Wernicke better watch out! I might knock him off his throne real soon!”

The only impressive thing about Rick’s new hobby was how many of his “patients” survived. Maybe he could have been a miracle worker with a PHD.

I laughed just to humor the poor devil. “You really are diligent as always, Rick. I’ll give you that.”

“Aw, you’re making me blush!”

“Heh, that’s what friends are for, right?”

“You know, I used to think about that a lot.” Rick’s voice was almost somber.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when I was first put in the engine.”

My heart stopped.

“I just about hated you back then. I think for about a week, I wanted you dead, but now I think I owe you one.”

What the hell.

“I wouldn’t have made all these breakthroughs if not for you! You really do learn a lot in there! Got me out of a rut and helped me find my dream job! And the best part? No more Monday Morning meetings!”

God. We really shouldn't have put him in the engine during his mid life crisis, but there was no choice. It was better he go mad in here than try to present his model to the rest of the world.

At least he was too long gone to hate me.

My wound was still hurting me, but I forced myself from the wheelchair then. I best end this on a good note while I still can.

“Well, Rick, catching up has been great and all, but I have work to attend to. You know how it is around here.”

“Do I ever! You always were a nose to the grindstone kind of guy, but I get it. You got your projects. I got mine.”

“I’m glad you understand.” I kept my voice even through the pain, but Rick still saw me wince.

“Hold up there! You want me to get you something for that cut? I think I got you pretty good there.”

“I’ll be fine.” I took a step back. “It hurts like hell, but I don’t think it’s deep enough to bleed me dry.”

Rick shrugged. “If you say so, but if you need anything you know where to find me!”

“Thanks.”

I started for the quickest way out, but found the doors barricaded.

“What the hell?” I looked to Rick for an explanation.

“Oh, you’re going to want to leave those there.”

“But the fastest way out is through here.”

“Just use the elevator if you want to get out.”

“I’ve already been going in circles long enough. You can put your barricades up when I leave for all I care.”

“Hey, no need to get testy with me! I’m just saying if you go that way, you have a good chance of a run in with the man downstairs.”

“Specifics, please.”

“Gluskin.”

I recalled the crime scene photos of his handiwork before his arrest. God knows what he was up to now.

“Thank you, Rick.”

This time I meant it.

[bitchwheredidyougetthattop]

I. Can’t. With. The. Above.

I don’t really shop that much because I’m not sure there’s a more fiscally responsible person at this point (due to some prior questionable decision-making) however I actually needed a new pair of jeans so off I went to the old jeans store today and obviously I’m gonna make a production about it and you people get to hear about it if you care to read another one of my god forsaken blog posts!

First. Of. All.

I’m down to a size 10 now which is something I should be extremely excited about but I am looking at these pants and seeing the number on the scale (which is quite respectable if I am being honest with you people) but then looking at myself with my actual eyes and living in reality and I just *a little bit* feel like that’s not real.

“Lauren have you heard of body dysmorphia?🙄🙄🙄”

I have and I will add that to my chart however, HONESTLY, a 6’1” size 10 woman does not look like me (which I’m actually means nothing, however...) typically, so I’ll just keep living in this alternative universe that I have become temporarily trapped in for right now for some reason because I have still somehow found a way for it to motivate me into dialing back in my health and fitness this new year (but not a goddamn moment sooner!) however I will spare you all of that for right now but be prepared I am just saying I apologize in advance!

...no but seriously, it’s like some kind of extreme Midwest generosity in clothing sizing permeating my little micro-universe. I am looking at these size 10’s and they seem *a bit* bigger but I’m sure that’s just my delusions showing again. 🧐

Anyway. How about something more relateable?

Good call.

Can I get a “What’s up, ladies?!” to my fellow tall girls out there just doing our best to make our way around this world not quite ready for all the amazingness we have and are?! Own it! If something too weird is happening that you don’t even want to fully deal with, guess what? “You can’t even hear it from up there”, so once again, we’re golden, bitches (term of endearment and empowerment in this instance).

Also, if someone is somehow towering over you with some sort of idiotic nonsense (how dare they), you can also just strut away because that’s what you get to fucking do. Continue. To. Own. That.

Let’s see, what else?

Oh!

So right here in the Midwest, you can absolutely live a healthy life on a budget, even in this day and age. You can eat well and take good care of your health (physical and emotional, etc. etc. etc.). You can have a healthy and moderate social life. You can find a profession you care about.

Guess what you absolutely cannot do?

Find size 10 jeans longer than capri-length. Excuse me but it’s basically January. Has someone booked me to do something ridiculous on a cruise ship or something because otherwise these pants stopping 6” above my ankles aren’t totally going to work for me at these temperatures but I will make do!

Anyway, may you all find comfortable pants that fit into this new year regardless of your physical uniquenesses which however you feel about them are what make you who you are and that’s actually something to be proud of. ❤️