#THIS BITCH IS LIKE A PILLAR SUPPORTING HIS EGO BUT THE THING IS THE PILLAR IS SO STICK THIN LIKE HIS WAIST ITS GONNA FALL THE FUCK OVER

[psychesetra]

the second one is alastor. i am not going to elaborate

this hit me like a truck

[thewritetofreespeech]

hello! can you write scenario for akashi, aomine, kise, and kagami where their s/o is jealous of all the attention they're getting from other girls?

awwww. adorbs! certainly ^_^ 🖤

Jealous S/O

Akashi

It’s not a surprise that he was popular.

Akashi was smart, handsome, rich. Great at academics, and sports, and the youngest student council president in the history of Rakuzan. You didn’t believe in people being perfect, but if ever someone was going to get close it would be Akashi. He really lived up to the ‘Emperor’ nickname.

And what was an Emperor without his court.

“What’s wrong [Y/N]?” You look up from the pavement as you walked to class to see Akashi staring at you. His gaze focused, but soft & concerned. “You seem distracted.”

“Oh…it’s nothing.” You tuck your hair behind your ear. Prepared to let this go. Of course, Akashi wouldn’t let it though. He continued to stare at you until you finally broke down and told him. “It’s just them.”

The red head turned to look where you had jutted your chin towards the girls, huddled behind one of the pillars in the court yard whispering & staring, and your boyfriend let out a sigh. “Ah yes. Them.” He doesn’t seem surprised by their presence. Nor their borderline stalking. You should have guessed that he knew they were there. “I just choose to ignore them. However, if they are making you uncomfortable, I can order them to stop.”

You shook your head. You didn’t want to cause trouble. And although it was annoying, you didn’t want to break another girl’s heart over their rejected feelings. “It’s not a big deal. It’s the burden of dating the ‘Emperor’ I guess.” His lips scrunch. Though the nickname stuck over time, you know he doesn’t actually care for that title. “I just feel a little bit like one of those women in a historical K-drama. You know, like someone is waiting in the wings to knock me off so they can take my place near the emperor.” Sometimes you kind of feel like I should start checking my lunch for poison or glass.

Akashi scoffed a little. Then leaned in to kiss your cheek. “That’s never going to happen.” He assured you. “My heart belongs to only you. And, if anyone were to hurt you, I’d gouge their eyes out.”

Perhaps it’s poor form to giggle at such a threat, but you do. He really was so protective of you. You really had no reason to be jealous, because no one was going to take Akashi away from you.

You continue on your way to class. The ‘court’ suspiciously hanging back more than usual after that day.

Aomine

The street ball court was a buzz as usual whenever Aomine played.

His ‘quick game’ with the challenges on the court had turned into a full basketball brawl that had lasted for hours. One-on-one after one after another.

Not that you minded. Watching Aomine play, and seeing him happy, was always thrilling. He always looked so cool when he played; giving his all, even against weaker players. You chuckle to yourself. He really was a terrible guy to take such joy in crushing people. But then what did that say about you when you were so turned on by it?

“That dark skin guy is so hot! Do you think he’s foreign?”

You turn away from the court to a gaggle of girls, some your age, some older, watching the game as well from the side lines. Some had noticed the game and come to watch. Others had come with their own boyfriends. You frown a little as they continue to whisper and gush over your boyfriend. Getting moodier by the second.

“Yo, what’s up?” You look up from glaring at the lines on the court; just in time to see Aomine place his ball he was holding in one hand against your head. “You look pissed. Are you not having fun?”

“Not really.” You confess, batting his hand away. You weren’t having fun now. He was talking to you, but those girls still couldn’t take their eyes off them. “Can we go now?”

“What?? But things are just getting started.” He lifted his shirt up as he whined to wipe the sweat from his brow and you could practically hear the siren like squeals from those thirsty ass bitches.

“I don’t like the crowd here.”

Aomine seemed to catch on, and looked to the side to see who was annoying you. You have to assume he expected to see some guy making you uncomfortable, based on his expression, but looked surprised when he saw it was just a bunch of girls; totally playing it off like they weren’t staring at him a moment ago. “What can I say babe? I can’t help it if girls think I’m super hot and junk.” His cockiness and smirk were not attractive at the moment.

You continue to pout, but just long enough for Aomine to lean in and give you a peck on said pout. “Let me kick this guys ass and then we can go. ‘Less you wanna stick around and make ‘em jealous back. We can do gross couple stuff until they get weirded out and leave.”

You chuckle again at the offer. Appreciating the gesture he was trying to make. “Go play your game and then we can go. If we’re going to do ‘gross couple stuff’, I’d rather do it in private where we can enjoy it.”

Aomine gave you a big grin, followed by a loud, “yes ma’m!”

Of course, he slaughtered the guy in the next game. Leaving him to sulk off back to his own girlfriend; who was indeed in the pack and not looking too happy about it. You both leave after that to finish your date. Aomine proud as a peacock for the rest of the afternoon from the ego boost.

Kise

It was hard, dating a model.

You knew of Kise’s profession before you started dating, of course, but you had no idea how hard it would be on your relationship.

Girls stopped him every chance they got to ask for his autograph, or gush over his new photobook. He of course was courteous and polite. Turning on that model charm. He always thanked them for their patronage of his work and they promised to always support him. It had been bad before, but ever since his game was televised this past season, it had grown into a circus. Not only was he the beautiful blonde-haired boy they all admired, but now he was also the super-hot jock they all drooled over. You could barely go out on a proper date anymore without being accosted by some female vying for his attention.

“[Y/N]-cchi, what’s wrong? You look upset.”

“This is ridiculous!” You told him, and you weren’t just talking about his huge sunglasses & stupid hat he was wearing to try and be ‘incognito’. It wasn’t working even a little bit, so now it was just doubly stupid. “Why can’t they leave you alone for 10 minutes?!”

“They’re my fans [Y/N]-cchi. I can’t disappoint them!”

“Right. Don’t disappoint them. Why don’t you hang out with them today then?” You mutter sullenly. Prepared to leave.

Kise seemed to realize what was going on, and just how upset you were, as he reached out to grab you hand. “I don’t want to hang out with them [Y/N].” You turn back around when he said your name like a real person. Not the cute little way he did it as part of his act. “I don’t want anyone else but you. They only like me because I’m handsome and a model.” Humble too, you think to yourself. “They don’t really care about me. You do! I don’t want to lose that. Please forgive me.”

He did genuinely look hurt, and you have to believe that he meant it. You sigh. It wasn’t totally Kise’s fault. “It’s alright Ryouta.” You tell him. He seemed to perk up a little at that. “If you could maybe not lay it on so thick for them in the future, I would appreciate it.”

“Of course [Y/N]-cchi!” He cheered with a beaming smile. Already back to his normal self. “I’d do anything for you!”

It doesn’t stop of course. But Kise kept true to his word and politely asked to be left in peace. Most respected that. Some weren’t as understanding of his needs. You just appreciated that he was trying to keep them at bay. Fangirls were weird.

Kagami

After practice, you and Kagami went to Maji Burger, as per usual. And, as per usual, people were staring at your table.

Most of the time they were staring at the loud, tall teen scarfing down his body weight in hamburgers. Amazed at his own personal eating contest. However, more recently, the people staring were girls from your school who had also come here. And they were staring at Kagami only.

He was completely oblivious to it, but Kagami was actually really popular; even before Serin started wining so much. He was tall, athletic, built. He’d come from America, which was so cool for a lot of the students around here. Plus, he had this whole ‘bad boy basketball star’ vibe going. If they only knew how much of a sweet heart he really was. Actually, scratch that. If they knew that would only make it worse.

“Hey, what’s up [Y/N]? You’re not eating. Do you not like your food?”

You look up from your own, normal portion on the tray, then back down as you play with your food. “It’s just hard to eat when people are staring.”

Kagami blinked. Then looked around to see what you were talking about. “I don’t see anybody.”

“Of course you don’t….” You mutter under your breath. He never did.

“What does it matter?” He asked. “It’s not like I can stop people from looking at me. They have eyeballs. It’s a free country.”

“That’s not the point Kagami. It’s not that they’re looking at you. It’s the fact that they’re looking at you.” You’re trying to be discrete here, but subtle or discretion never really got through to Kagami. “They wanna fuck you.”

Kagami choked on his burger halfway devoured in his mouth. “Don’t say that!” He scolded you. Once he’d recovered from his near-death experience.

“Well, it’s true. Maybe that’s a bit much, but they definitely look at you that way, and it’s annoying.”

“How can you even tell?”

“Because it’s how I look at you.” You muttered under our breath again. Fidgeting with our soda straw to avoid eye contact.

Kagami heard you again though and now you were both blushing in the booth. “Well…the only one I’m interested in looking at me that way is you.” He muttered back. “The only one I’m interested in looking at that way is you.” His leg moved forward under the table to touch yours. Simple, secret, intimate.

You smile softly as you realize it was stupid to be jealous. Kagami had no guile. He was honest to a fault, which was another of his amazing qualities. He genuinely didn’t see those other girls because he was only focused on you. So let them stare. There was no way they were going to take him away from you.

[stebeans]

She-Ra Inspired Actor AU - IV

Cast List (so far):

Taylor Cruz - Adora/She-Ra

Maya Sanchez - Catra

Jessica Cho - Glimmer

Marcus Patterson - Bow

Mei Lin - Frosta

Alexandria - Scorpia

Emmaline Lee-Scott - Queen Angela 

Jacqueline Emery Grey - Shadow Weaver

Taylor did not run. Ever. It was against her very nature. She never ran to catch a bus that was just departing, she used to stroll into class minutes after the late bell and she’d bet her past gym teachers were now probably grey in the hair from all the stress she had caused in gym class...

But now.

Now she was practically sprinting in a dead run across the studio lot towards the brick building one of the passing assistants had pointed out. Ha! If Mr. Brody, her seventh grade gym teacher, could see her now he’d probably be crying tears of joy seeing as he was always pushing her towards to join the track team. Something about her body build, lithe and toned, had made him believe she could be the next Usain Bolt. It was a pipe dream. No one could ever be the next Usain Bolt unless there was some sort of cloning device. And as if she would be caught dead wearing those gym shorts.

If only her damn alarm clock went off when it should have, Taylor wouldn’t be tearing like a bat out of hell. Apparently some time during the night she had knocked her phone charge loose from the flimsy wall outlet of her crappy apartment resulting a dead battery that never got charged. To make matters worse her beat-up Prius had chosen today of all days to finally break down forcing her to spring for an Uber she could barely afford. Taylor had sat in traffic on the I-105 for hours, her leg bouncing with anxiety and internally debating if she should just fuck it and continue on foot because anything was better than the painful crawl of the worst-known traffic in LA. She would know, being a born native and all.

Taylor cursed her string of bad luck that had resulted her in being late for the first cast meet/table read. She had spent endless nights and every waking second between shifts at the restaurant and a popular juice bar, studying the script front to back, since it had been dropped off at her door a few weeks back.  She had wanted to come prepared. To prove everyone that she wasn’t a risky choice. A mistake. A liability. Taylor was going to be the best damn She-Ra the world has ever known.

Her sneakers squeaked against the linoleum flooring as she skidded into the building, eyes squinting against the brightness of the fluorescent lights. Damn. Not only was she late but now she was sweaty. Ugh, Taylor could feel her damp t-shirt clinging to her back from underneath her signature leather jacket. She slowed to a stop just before the door, huffing and puffing, ignoring the nagging voice pointing out just how out of shape she was. She shot a glance down at her worn leather wristwatch, ten minutes late, not too bad but not great for a first impression. It took a minute to fix herself up as best as she could but at least she didn’t look like a hot mess. Grasping the door handle, Taylor could hear the muffled yet elated chatter beyond the door and without wasting another second she pulled the door open.

The view before her surprised her a little. The room was full of people, both cast and crew Taylor surmised with the handful of people staring intently at their clipboards as they made little notes in the margins. People hung out in little groups, making small conversations with shy smiles and nervous glances. Despite the awkward tension that hung in the air (typical for a first time cast meet) the room didn’t seem as stuffy and unwelcoming as the table reads she had attended in the past. It was usually full of pretentious lead actors already attempting to exert their dominance and one or two fellow male co-stars acting chummy with her.

Just as she was about to step forward to make her entrance a round of laughter erupted near the back of the room, rising above the idle chatter and garnering a few curious looks. Her gaze wandered over to the cheerful group, taking in the small group that somehow was making so much commotion. A short Asian girl had her head tilted back, roaring with laughter and it wasn’t until the taller black male had doubled over clutching his stomach, he was laughing so hard, did she catch the familiar wild mane of hair and wiry stature. Her mouth dropped open, her mind going blank and despite the distance she immediately— and inadvertently—caught Maya’s eyes from across the room. There was no mistake that Maya had recognized her the same time she did and it was quite unfortunate that Maya had been mid-sip when they had caught each other gazes because the girl had practically snorted water out of her nose in disbelief.

It would’ve been quite comical for Taylor had she not been internally panicking and all she could think about was Maya. And that she was here. At the cast meet for She-Ra. Maya. Here. With her. It had been a couple months since she last saw the girl and while she was banking on the shot she wouldn’t run into her again ever since the chemistry test from hell, Taylor knew better that while LA was a large city filled with hundreds of thousands of people, the chances of meeting one another in an audition was quite high. The Hollywood world wasn’t as large as everyone made it out to be.

Caught off guard and shocked beyond belief, Taylor stayed frozen at the doorway. Her mind just barely registering what was happening as Maya descended into a fit of forced hacks and haphazard coughs. Taylor winced slightly at the choking sounds and unwanted attention Maya was receiving. If people weren’t paying attention before, they were now as a few of them gathered around her, worry etching their faces. Yikes, that was one way to stand out at cast meet, Taylor supposed.

Taylor watched Maya wave off their concern with a watery smile and flimsy thumbs up before meeting her eyes once again, as if confirming she wasn’t just imagining things. Taylor didn’t blame her. She too had done a double-take because what were the freaking chances they would meet again? Especially during the table read for She-Ra considering their chemistry test from hell for said production?

Despite the shock, confusion and lingering guilt from how Taylor had last left things, she couldn’t pull her gaze away. It surprised how fast the incredulous look was wiped away from Maya’s face. Now Taylor couldn’t read her. She didn’t look happy because yeah, she was kind of a bitch the last time they talked but she didn’t seem un-happy. Sort of indifferent? Which honestly, Taylor could work with that. She squared her shoulders. She was going to woman-up, approach Maya and apologize. Maybe she’ll convince her to have a re-do introduction. A blank slate. It was of course for the best considering they would now be cast mates for the foreseeable future. It would be the professional thing to do.

She was going to rip off the band-aid and set aside her ego for once. Taylor inhaled deeply took a step forward only to be almost immediately deterred by an arm wrapping around her shoulders. “Taylor!” The Director greeted with a cheer. “So glad you made it! Now that our star is here we should get started, I bet everyone is excited to finally get the ball rolling, I know I am!” The Director clapped her hands until everyone’s attention was on her. “Okay everyone gather around, gather around!” She called out, corralling the occupants to the front of the room, where Taylor now noticed was clear of any furniture and spacious enough for the Director to instruct everyone to form a wide circle.

Oh no. If Taylor was right – and from the round object the Director was rolling in her hands – she was. Taylor felt a wave of dread fill her. She hated theatre games. Despised them actually. Some people thought it was a fun and brilliant way to break the ice between actors but Taylor hated it with a passion, almost as much as she hated running. She didn’t have the natural charisma or friendly disposition to easily befriend people. It would take more than some theatre game to warm her up to others and usually people didn’t have the patience or care to get to know her, already passing judgement in the first few minutes they meet her.

It shouldn’t surprise Taylor that Maya’s eyes lit up at the sight of the foam baseball, with how eager the Latina found everything. Unable to hold back the eye roll as Maya strolled towards the front of the room, hauling her new friends along with her with a cheery glint in her eyes. Apparently that was all it took because the rest of the room began to converge to the front, languidly following after Maya. Funnily, Taylor slipped through the crowd in the opposite direction towards the tables. “Looks like we got our first volunteer!” The Director announced joyfully and Taylor watched as Maya easily caught the ball in her hand, squeezing and examining the colourful foam ball.  

Taylor took her sweet time, randomly choosing one of the free seats left and slowly pulling her shoulder bag from where it hung limply at her side. It was obviously well-used, the weather so worn it was soft to the touch but despite it, it was Taylor’s most prized possession. The shoulder bag was a gift from her grandmother, her first true fan, a believer in her talents and pillar of support from anything from her floundering career in acting to her love life, or lack thereof in this case. Carefully placing the bag on the table, Taylor ran a hand over the flap for good luck. It wouldn’t compete against her grandmother’s unwavering tone as she wished her good luck or the following warmth of her loving embrace but it was the next best thing. Pretending her shoes needed re-tying, which actually wasn’t that far from the truth after nearly losing one on her jog over, Taylor took her sweet time in an attempt to prolong the inevitable.

The chatter within the room rose to an excitable level that had Taylor grimacing. After milking as much time as she could, Taylor straightened and glanced at the circle of her cast mates. She met Maya’s challenging gaze from across the room where the other actress was confidently tossing the ball in the air with a single hand, her eyes never once straying away from Taylor’s. Fine. If Maya wants to play, she’ll play. If that was how it was going to be. Taylor shrugged her leather jacket off with jerky movements, draping it across the back of the chair and strolling to the group where she planted herself directly across from Maya, meeting her challenging stare with one of her own.

As the ball was thrown at her with the speed and projection of a freaking rocket, Taylor barely had the time or reaction to bring her hands up before it whipped her in the face, her hands stinging despite the foam filling of the ball. So. Turns out she was wrong and Maya wasn’t feeling quite so indifferent after all. Feeling a dozen or so expectant eyes on her, Taylor nearly dropped the ball with how sweaty her palms had gotten. In front of a camera Taylor had no issues with her confidence. She could act the hell out of her character, she could play the dumb blonde, the air head cheerleader, the golden child of a popular tv series but when the cameras were put away and it was just her, no script, no fake persona, Taylor was as vulnerable as a baby bird. “Um, hi?” She gulped, feeling her throat dry up like the Sahara Desert.

The Director smiled encouragingly. “Why don’t you tell us who you are, something about yourself, who you will be playing in the show and a little fun fact if you will?”

“Right.” Taylor gulped. “Right. Well…I’m Taylor Cruz.” There was a chorus of friendly “hello Taylor’s” that helped ease her nervousness. “I will be playing Adora and I guess She-Ra by extension. I’m nineteen and a fun fact about me is uhh…” Taylor forced herself to think but with everyone’s focus on her she drew a blank. “I umm, I know all the words to ‘Baby Got Back’…”

Her “fun fact” was met with silence and Taylor could feel her cheeks warm up rapidly. A snort of laughter broke the quietness and Taylor’s eyes narrowed at Maya who grinned at her stupidly, waving off her uncontained laughter. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She apologized between pursed lips, failing to hold back her laugh. “It’s just…it was so unexpected.” The rest of the crew joined in a light chuckle and a towering woman beside her clapped her on the shoulder that nearly sent her flying.

Taylor could’ve sworn her cheeks were on fire and she wanted nothing more for the floor to swallow her whole. “It’s not something I’m proud of.” She added not wanting to give the room of strangers the wrong impression but nonetheless her comment elicited another round of good-natured laughter.

“Well I guess that means we will have to plan a karaoke night soon.” The man next to Maya said cheerfully, who Taylor would later learn to be Marcus.

Everyone nodded encouragingly and even Maya sent her a grin that looked less mocking and more in amusement. She glanced at the director, the obvious leader in this torture game, shooting her a what now?look, hoping that she would understand. “That’s great Taylor, I’m sure we’ll get you on stage soon enough. I bet everyone is looking forward to hearing you sing.” A whoop and a joyous ‘hell yeah!’ cut in that had everyone chuckling anew. “Why don’t you toss the ball to someone and they will repeat your name before they introduce themselves. We’ll continue the process until everyone has had a chance. Anyone who messes up a name will be severely punished.” The Director teased, giving Taylor the go ahead which Taylor was too happily relinquish the pressure to the next unfortunate person.

Taylor lifted the foam ball, all the ready to throw it back at Maya but she overlooked one crucial fact. She didn’t own one athletic bone in her body and while the intended target had been Maya, she nearly taken out the eye of another woman standing two person’s down from her mark. Taylor attempted to play it cool, as if that was who she was aiming for all along but by the raised eyebrow from Maya she could surmise she wasn’t as successful in the ruse. Thankfully everyone else seemed to have not noticed and was more than happy to get the theatre game started.

While Taylor had cursed her luck during her intro, she was relieved that she had gone first. A few people had jumbled up the order of the names or had outright gotten them wrong and were forced to do pushups while everyone booed and teased mercilessly. One pushup would already be…pushing the limit, pun not intended, for Taylor.

It was funny cause in the end the last person to be introduced was Maya, who caught the wavering ball before it smacked into Jessica – or Jess as she preferred – with relative ease. “Hi it’s nice meeting everyone.” She greeted the group shyly and of freaking course, repeated all the names in the room without issues. “My name is Maya Sanchez and I am seventeen years old. I just graduated high school and my fun fact is that my first love is softball and we have been going steady for ten years now.”

If Maya hadn’t surrendered the fact or if Taylor hadn’t seen her pick up the uniform from the floor the first time they met, it was obvious with the way Maya handled the ball with ease, tossing it up from hand to hand, adding spin so the rainbow coloured ball blurred in a magnitude of colours in the air. “Oh! That’s cool!” Marcus remarked. “Are you any good?”

Maya smiled sheepishly, raising one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I’m alright.” She replied and Taylor had a feeling that she was being too modest for her own good.  

As anxious as she was at the beginning of the ice-breaker game, the ball tossing and questions did its intended job as Taylor could feel the tension release from her shoulders. Admittedly it had been a fun and efficient way to get to meet her new co-stars and the production team. It wasn’t as terrible as she had thought and she even chatted with Alexandria, the tall giant of a woman with long black hair that fell past her broad shoulders, who would be playing Scorpia. She also happened to be super kind which was highlighted when a few people had trouble completing their set of pushups as punishment, Alexandria had dropped to floor and had completed the penalties on their behalf without breaking a sweat that had Taylor slightly, just slightlyjealous.

If it weren’t for her easy smile and kindness, Taylor already knew she would like Alexandria. The woman was unapologetically herself. Where many actresses in Hollywood fought to be tall and skinny, Alexandra looked like she could easily out bench press the guys in the room. She was strong and she was kind, something that was quite rare in Hollywood and Taylor had already made a silent vow to start hitting the gym more regularly. She wasn’t going to cut it as She-Ra with her noodle arms. Maybe she would even ask Alexandria for some tips.

The team was now gathered around the tables. Finally they were going to get down to business and back into Taylor’s comfort zone. Plus she couldn’t wait to jump into her new role. Pulling her well-used copy of the script where all her lines were highlighted with little handwritten notes and questions that she had for the production team. She had made sure she had studied the script as best she could in preparation for the day. The first page was filled with notes, mostly about questions about the stunt work. This role as Adora was going to be Taylor’s most challenging and vigorous yet and to be honest she was more than a little nervous.

The opening scene was mostly action filled and of course being the title character, Taylor had first honor of opening the show.  It was tricky when you were the first person to read at the very first table-read. It all fell on the first reader to set the tone. Was she going to play it cool and comfortable and just read her lines normally? That may send the wrong idea as she didn’t want to come off as lazy or unexcited about her role. But if she went hard, she might look too enthused and everyone was going to be forced to match her intensity. She had internally struggled on how she was going to play her role today but after the ice-breaker game everyone seemingly eager and radiating with excitement, Taylor went with her gut feeling. “Hey Princess.” She growled, trying to make herself sound intimidating. “You lookin’ at me?”

Luckily Andrew (playing Kyle) and Brianna (playing Lonnie) were all too happy to play up their readings too and soon they had set the tone for the table read. The first act was flying by as they had skipped through the action scenes and the introduction of Catra came all too soon. Taylor could feel her palms clam up as she played with the edges of her script.

“Hey Adora…how’s it hanging?” Maya chirped in now, her voice deep and teasing.

Taylor was taken aback as soon as Maya read her first line and nearly missed her cue.  Was Maya’s voice always so raspy? Shaking her head clear, Taylor had forced her eyes up, dismissing her script. She had this part all memorized already. “Catra.” She grunted out in annoyance. “Do you really show up late and let us do all the hard parts? That is low.” Taylor admonished, eyes on Maya who stared back with an excited glint in her eyes. “Even for you.” Taylor finished off.

“Awwww.” Maya cooed lowly, her eyes not leaving Taylor’s. Apparently Taylor wasn’t the only one who had memorize her lines. “You know nothing’s too low for me.” She said before letting out a high pitched cackle that had the cast and crew sharing amused smiles. “Now come on. You look stupid hanging down there.” Maya said, adding a hint of reverence instead of admonishment that Taylor had been imagining on her solo read-throughs.

The two had disregarded their scripts and had ignored the rest of the room as they exchanged lines, playing off one another and Taylor could feel herself ease into her role as Adora. From the corner of Taylor’s eyes she could see the Director and Producer exchange a proud smile. They weren’t the only ones who felt the chemistry. It was quite ironic really given how they didn’t really get along in real life. If only the others knew what had truly happened before today.

Taylor couldn’t remember laughing so hard at a table-read before. When it had come to the confrontation between Queen Angela and her daughter Glimmer in the throne room. Jessica Cho, who Taylor had overheard was mostly in the voice-acting scene and the beautiful and revered actress Emmaline Lee-Scott who played the Brightmoon Queen, were just so natural with one another despite just meeting for the first time today. They had read their lines so perfectly with just the right amount of huffing, scolding and annoyance of a typical mother-daughter dispute that had the whole room in stitches. It was a welcomed follow up from her read-through with Jacqueline Emery Grey who would be playing the role of Shadow Weaver. Jacqueline was just as famous as Emmaline Lee-Scott and playing opposite of her, even for a short moment was enough to leave Taylor star struck. She was glad for the break so she could calm her racing heart and gather herself again.

It had taken nearly all day but the first table read was a success. By the end everyone had eased into their roles and it seemed the Casting Director was now fully committed to the cast. They had all played off one another and the energy in the room was high and full of potential. It was the first time in a long while that Taylor was genuinely excited to go to work. The department heads was thanking everyone for the day and were handing out the upcoming schedule while Taylor was shoving her belongings in her bag. She followed Maya’s movements, watching the other girl slip on her backpack and waving off her new friends Jess and Marcus. They were the last of the stragglers and Taylor decided that it was now or never.

“Hey! Umm Maya? Can I talk to you real quick?” Taylor approached hesitantly, shoving her hands into her pockets.

Maya looked uncertain but nonetheless she nodded. “Sure. I have time. My mom is a little late. Traffic, you know?”

Taylor nodded gravely, grasping onto the lifeline Maya was throwing. “Oh I know. Kind of one of the reasons I was late. So much for a good impression.” She shrugged.

“Eh, I think you did alright Cruz.” Maya said with a small smile.

“I umm… I thought you were pretty great today too.” Taylor praised. “We make a pretty good team.”

“Yeah, we do.” Maya agreed easily. “Near-death experience aside.” She joked with a wry grin. “I had a lot of fun today.”

Sucking in a deep breath Taylor turned to face Maya head on. “Listen. About before. I just…wanted to apologize. I was being rude and I took it out on you. You didn’t deserve any of that and…I’m sorry.”

Taylor fought the urge to fidget underneath Maya’s calculating gaze. After a moment that had Taylor sweating Maya seemed to recognize her sincerity cause she broke into a soft smile. “Thanks Taylor. It means a lot and I accept your apology. I also wanted to thank you.”

Puzzled, Taylor was taken aback. “Thank me? For what?”

“For the first time we met. In the audition room? You stood up for me when that other actress was giving me a hard time and I never got to properly thank you for that. I was super nervous if that wasn’t apparent.” Oh, it definitely was. “And I knew it was a long shot but it’s rare to see any roles for people of colour. I just took a chance, however slim it is.”

“Well I’m glad it paid off.” Taylor stated. “I’m looking forward to working with you Maya Sanchez.”

“Same here Cruz.” Maya replied with her easy-going grin.

An old sedan pulled up to the curb and Maya waved happily at her mother. “Well that’s my ride. My mom’s going to want to hear a play-by-play.”

“Your mom sounds pretty cool.”

“She has her moments.” Maya smiled warmly. “Hiya Mama.” She greeted as soon as she opened the passenger door.

“Maya! How was your day? You have to tell me everything. Is this a new friend? Mija don’t be rude, introduce us unless you are embarrassed of your mother?”

“Of course not Mama.” Maya replied with a teasing roll of her eyes. “Mama, this is my co-star Taylor Cruz. She will be playing She-Ra. Taylor this is my mom, Gabriella.”

Taylor stepped forward, hunching half-way through the passenger seat to offer Maya’s mom a hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Sanchez.”

She could sense Maya’s mother analyzing her, her eyes were sharp just like her daughter. The critical scrutiny must’ve ran in the Sanchez family. Taylor sweated under her gaze, knowing she looked out of place with her multiple piercings. Never had she been so nervous meeting a mother before. After a moment that felt like forever Maya’s mother clasped her hand in a firm handshake. “It’s Gabriella, my dear but aren’t you a sweetheart. Do you need a ride home Taylor?”

It was then Taylor remembered her beat-up car sitting uselessly on the side street back home. She had been so caught up with the events of the day she had forgotten to call for an Uber. The ride home was probably going to eat a good chunk of her savings too. “I took an Uber this morning. I just need to track one down –”

“Oh that won’t do! Take a seat Taylor we can drop you off home.”

“Mrs. Cruz, I mean Gabriella,” Taylor corrected when the older woman shot her a look. “I appreciate the offer but –”

Maya laughed, cutting Taylor off again. “It’ll save us some time if you just give up now and get in the car. My mom won’t take no for an answer. It’s in our culture. It’s best if you don’t offend my mother by saying no to her hospitality.”

“Of course not!” Taylor stuttered, unable to wrap her head around what was happening. She was used to fending for herself and none of her co-stars had ever cared if she made it home or not before, let alone her mother when she had been her manager. “Thank you for offering. I guess I’ll take you up on it. But I can help pay for the gas? I’m just a little out of LA, it’ll be a drive.”

“Nonsense my dear. It’ll be nice getting to know one of Maya’s new friends.”

She stared helplessly at Maya who shrugged and motioned to the car. “Come on Cruz. Let’s get you home.”

The ride was a only a little bit awkward. Fortunately Gabriella was able to fill in the silence with questions about the day, sounding just as enthusiastic as if she was starring the show also. Taylor had sat mostly in silence, answering questions only when Gabriella had attempted to pull her into the conversation but the older Sanchez had quickly learned that Taylor was more content with just listening in. Taylor was leaning her head against the glass window, watching the city skyline pass by and thinking about the day and what was to come. Things were finally looking up. Her co-stars were pretty cool and friendly, the production team was proud of the show they were making and she was on friendlier terms with Maya. They weren’t buddy-buddy but at least she was able to clear the air. Maybe they would never be friends but they both knew that they were good for the show and Taylor couldn’t wait to get started.

[franklyshipping]

The Battle For The Booty ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

THIS IS A PROMPT FROM HOOT ANON WHICH I AM EXCITED TO HECKIN WRIIIITE BITCHES LET'S HECKIN DO THIIIIS!!!

TAGGING: @il-lee-nois

Magnum had his eyes narrowed down at Illinois, and Illinois had his arms folded resolutely as he looked up at the Captain. Between them was a treasure chest filled to the brim with jewels that they had just acquired, and they had managed to split everything between them perfectly since it was a joint venture. Except for one giant sapphire. They were quarrelling over who should keep it….but their argument may not be quite what you expect. You see, Illinois thought Magnum should have it, whilst Magnum thought Illinois should have it.

‘Come now Captain, it was your vessel that carried us to the island, really it should be you who has this treasure!’

‘But it was ye who deciphered the maps and guided us safely through the traps so we could acquire the treasure! I insist ye take it!’

Illinois huffed a breath out through his nose and folded his arms, looking up at the 8 foot tall Captain with a miniscule glare in place. Damn he was always so stubborn!

‘I refuse to take it, and there is nothing you can say or do that can change my mind!’

Magnum let out a huffed growl under his breath, damn the stubbornness of explorers! He and Illinois had returned from their latest adventure, and had moored Magnum’s ship for a long stay so they had time to relax together at the quarters below decks. Magnum rubbed his forehead as he leant against one of the wooden support pillars, looking down at Illinois in a withering manner.

‘Why are ye like this…’

‘Because the kind generosity embedded in my heart knows no bounds, Captain.’

Illinois sent Magnum a grin as his eyes twinkled, making the Captain groan….before letting out a growl. The Captain was going to make Illinois take the damn jewel if it was the last thing he did, Illinois’ smugness was only spurring him on….and the Captain had just had the most wonderful idea regarding how to persuade Illinois over to his way of thinking. The Captain locked eyes with Illinois, before striding over, grabbing him by his jacket, and pinning him against another wooden pillar, making the explorer squeak in wide-eyed surprise as his hat toppled off his head.

‘M-Magnum what the he-?’

‘Last chance Illinois. Will ye accept the jewel, or won’t ye?’

Illinois gulped a tad as he looked up at his towering companion, who he couldn’t deny had his rather intimidating moments. However, despite being pinned by someone nearly twice his height, Illinois’ stubbornness didn’t waver. He collected himself, and grinned as he shook his head.

‘Never my friend, never.’

Magnum sighed.

'Well, if ye won’t agree with me willingly….I guess I’ll just have to force ye.’

Before Illinois could ask what the heck Magnum meant by “force”, Magnum used one hand to pin Illinois’ wrists above his head against the pillar, whilst the other dug into his belly. Magnum’s rough fingers scratched ruthlessly, making Illinois’ eyes nearly bug out of his sockets as he spluttered and descended into embarrassed cackles.

‘A-AHA! WHAHAT THE HEHECK?! STAHAHAPPIT OHO MY GAHAD STAHAHAP!’

Magnum snickered, relishing in his friend’s laughter as he continued tickling his taut tummy.

‘Will ye accept the jewel now?’

Magnum raised an eyebrow down at Illinois as the man writhed, tugging at his wrists in vain as his desperate laughter spilled from him. Illinois was still in shock, and EXTREMELY embarrassed. Illinois found his ticklishness to be the most embarrassing thing on the planet, but the fact that his friend was using it against him was even worse, especially with the stubborn disposition Magnum had; Illinois knew this was going to be difficult to persist through, but he was going to bloody try.

‘NOHOHOHO! FUHUHUCK YOHOHOU!’

Magnum let out a light scoff, digging into one of Illinois’ sides to make him howl as the Captain growled.

‘Here I am tryna offer ye a gift and ye decide to be rude? I’m gonna make ye regret that!’

Illinois tried to jerk to the side to escape Magnum’s evil digits, but the Captain decided to use a little of his weight to pin Illinois’ body against the pillar properly. Illinois really had no escape. The explorer was cackling as he shook his head, trying to look at Magnum imploringly as he exclaimed.

‘MAHAHAGNUHUM C’MAHAHAHAN! THIHIHIS IHIS UHUNECESSAHARY!!’

Magnum merely kept on tickling the explorer’s side as he replied indignantly.

‘Yer stubbornness made this necessary! If ye’d just accept it then ye wouldn’t need to go through this!’

Illinois was cackling his head off at this point, and tried to send the Captain a pleading, meaningful gaze as his body trembled from the onslaught on his poor nervous system. It was torture, but Illinois was not going down without a fight, he wanted Magnum to have the treasure he deserved darnit!

‘BUHUHUT YOHOHOU DEHESEHERVE THE JEHEHEWEL!!’

‘NAY! It is ye who deserves it for Poseidon’s sake!’

Magnum retorted with a cry, before letting out a frustrated growl….and then he really went to town. Magnum released Illinois’ hands so he had both of his own hands free, and trapped Illinois at his chest whilst scribbling deep into the dips of the explorer’s sides. The explorer’s knees nearly buckled as his eyes widened, and he let out quite the howl of mirth as he struggled with all his might.

‘YOHOHOU’RE AHA KRAHAKEN’S AHAHASS!!’

Magnum gasped with a shocked cough at the insult, and was just about to give Illinois’ ribcage a hearty, ticklish squeeze….when suddenly, there were determined fingers wriggling in the Captain’s armpits. Illinois was fighting back with ten wriggling fingers, and boy had they found a ticklish jackpot on Captain Magnum.

‘AHA! HEHEHEY YAHA RAHASCAL GEHET OHOUTTA THEHERE!!’

Magnum recoiled with a bellow, and Illinois gasped and grinned as the Captain’s booming cackles filled the room. Illinois got to work, tripping up the Captain so he could straddle him on the floor whilst he tickle tortured his hollows into absolute oblivion. Illinois had the upper hand now, literally, and he smirked down at his companion with a chuckle-filled purr.

‘Ohohoho I think not! Now my dear Captain, who is it that should have the jewel?’

Magnum arched his back as he continued to laugh loudly and wildly, but his stubbornness was even wilder.

‘YEHEHE MUHUST HAHAVE IHIHIT! EHEVEN THOHOUGH YE BEHE A BAHASTAHARD!!’

Illinois snorted and rolled his eyes as the Captain’s insult, and decided to really dig and vibrate his thumbs as deep into Magnum’s armpits as he could. The Captain squealed, kicking out and writhing at the new intensity as Illinois’ taunting voice filled his ears. What a bastard.

‘I’m afraid that’s the wrong answer my ticklish little captain….’

Magnum felt a blush creep up beneath his beard as he averted his gaze from the explorer, damn his teasiness. Magnum’s face was screwed up with embarrassment as he cried out desperately.

‘IHIHI WIHILL NEHEVER COHONCEHEDE TO YEHE!!’

After he let out his cry, Magnum decided to take action to prove his words, and thus surged up as much as strength as he could muster so he could try and shove Illinois off of him….and it worked. The explorer yelped as he was knocked off balance and fell off the Captain. There was a second when they locked eyes, and then it was war; a true tickle fight at its finest. They grappled at one another, letting out grunts and yelps and yips as they tried to avoid being trapped or overcome by the other.

‘Yes you bloody wil-AH-LEHET GO OF MY FOHOHOHOOT!!’

Illinois thought he’d been doing well, until the Captain latched onto one of his ankles, yanked off his boot and sock, and went to town on the ticklish foot with rapid scratching. The Captain chuckled smugly as he watched his friend squeal and hit the floor, finding him incredibly adorable as he teased.

‘What were ye sayin’ there Illinois? I couldn’t quite hear over all yer laughi-AHHHH NAHAT MY KNEHEES FAHAHCK FACK!!’

However, despite the evil foot tickling, Illinois was not powerless. He focused himself just enough so he could hug Magnum’s legs tight….and dig into the hidden kneecaps of the Captain as he yelled out amidst his own wild mirth.

‘FOHOHOR FUHUCK’S SAHAKE JUHUST LEHET ME WIHIN!!’

Oh what a scene this was. Two grown men clinging to one another and writhing on the floor, encased with mirth and tears in their eyes and absolute joyous silliness in their hearts, honestly I don’t think there’s anything more precious. Illinois dug into Magnum’s knee pits as the Captain scratched hard beneath his toes, the latter crying out with a mighty bellow.

‘NEHEHEVEHER!!!’

They went on like this at one another for several more minutes, each one bellowing or letting out cries louder and more determined than the last….but everyone reaches a point where even determination and adrenaline has to wear off, and for Illinois and Magnum this pretty much hit them both at the same time. Exhaustion hit them both, making them pant and gasp and go limp against each other, and for a few minutes the only sound was that of their breathing and residual giggling. They were both smiling too. Magnum let out a hum when he felt Illinois snuggle against his legs, and he absently massaged the explorer’s ankle. Then, Illinois let out a soft mumble.

‘We could uhm….like….put it on display in the mansion….like a trophy for everyone to see….’

Illinois’ voice was bordering on hoarseness as he spoke, and Magnum blinked. They were both in a sort of joint mentality of delirious realisation, and the Captain smiled with a soft laugh as he replied.

‘Y’know that’s a really good idea….why didn’t we think of that in the first place?’

Illinois grinned then, and grunted as he slowly sat up, before looking down at Magnum with twinkling, amused eyes.

‘Because we’re both stubborn bastards.’

Magnum snorted and let out a booming laugh, before grabbing Illinois by the arm and pulling him into his chest. After an initial yelp and thwack from Illinois, the explorer conceded to nestling into Magnum’s chest as the Captain remarked lazily.

‘That we are me friend, that we are.’

They both chuckled breathily and tiredly as they nestled and snuggled close, like it was instinct. Those are the best sort of cuddles, when you’re so close with someone that the only reasonable thing left to do is to be as close to them as you possibly can; it’s beautiful.

WOOOO HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[arkus-rhapsode]

Team Bakugou vs Team Tokage Rewrite

What? A Rhapsode fight rewrite? Yep, I wanted to do this after reading the Bakugou vs Tokage chapter and being less than impressed with that fight. Now I do wanna keep the spirit of it, but I’m going to be altering it.

Now this takes place after Bakugou rescues Jirou because to be honest everything up to that point I think was perfect. And without further ado, lets dive in.

Thoughts

Special powers

Bakugou: *Blocking Kamakiri from striking Jirou*

Kamakiri: What?!

Bakugou: You got quick reflexes for a bug, dontcha?

Kamakiri: I gotta retreat like Setsuna said!

Jirou: Bakugou, you...

Bakugou: SHUT UP AND GRAB HIM!

Sato: Right! *Goes to grab Kamakiri, but he jumps back and runs away with Bondo*

Sato: They got away!

Jirou: You... Saved me...

Bakugou: Course I did! We’re a team, and I’m going to be damned if I let a single one of you get captured!

Sero: That’s a surprise...

*cut away*

Tokage: Did Bakugou go and protect someone? He didn’t seem like that kind of person during the sports festival and train camp... No matter, I gotta put faith in this strategy, we have to wear class 1-A down and pick them off. Come on, guys, I know you can do this!

*cut away*

Kamakiri: Huh, I wasn’t expecting that! Thought I could’ve picked off that earphone girl like she was nothin’!

Bondo: I’m-I’m sorry if I did bad...

Kamakiri: Don’t start cryin’ on me! We just gotta wear them out like Setsuna said!

Bondo: O-okay...

Kamakiri: You say here and get ready for another ambush, I’ll tell Yosetsu about this!

*cut away*

Monoma: How?! How did he change his character so quickly?!

Kirishima: Never underestimate Bakugou!

Kaminari: That dude will keep improving himself in anyway to become the next Number 1 Hero!

Monoma: Well... Setsuna is not to be underestimated! Plus, they couldn’t even catch Kamakiri or Bondo! So we’ll see who folds first.

*cut back*

Team Bakugou: *running in hot pursuit of Kamakiri and Bondo*

Sero: Hey, Bakugou! You sure these things you gave us will work?

Bakugou: Huh? I spent so much time on those that there’s no way a shit like you could mess them up!

Sato: Well, mind if I ask what this new attitude is all about?

Bakugou: Do I have to explain this?! Fuck! Look its simple, if you’re in trouble I’m going to save you shits! And if I’m in trouble then you shits can save me!

Jirou: Guys, I heard something!

*Tokage’s body parts begin to wriggle away under them*

Bakugou: That lizard bitch must be underestimating me! *fires himself into the air*

Awase: *appears from behind a pillar and pops opens his bag*

*cuts away*

Deku: He hid his presence so well!

*cuts back*

Awase: Construction-Done-Kwik: Weldcraft! *Quickly uses multiple interconnecting metal logs to bind Bakugou up*

*flash back*

Kamakiri: And that’s the short of it!

Awase: No way!

Kamakiri: Setsuna said to make it back to her and protect her from where she activated her quirk. So you and Bondo take them out when they get in close!

*back to the present*

Awase: Looks like you’re not going to be using your explosions anymore!

Sato: LET HIM GO!

*As Sato reaches for his utility belt for his sugar, Bondo from up on a higher girder launches a rain of glue on Sato, sticking him in place*

Bondo: I got them! A-a-again...

Awase: Good work, Bondo! *Opens up his bag and with the remaining metal logs, he makes a bo staff*  In a one-on-one fight, I’m nothing against a power quirk user like Sato or Bakugou, but now that they’re gone... TIME TO END THIS!

*Awase charges at Jirou and Sero and strikes Sero in his helmet and then the side of his abdomen knocking him down*

Jirou: *Extends her Jacks and tries to whip Awase*

Awase: *blocks Jirou’s jacks with his make shift bo staff*

Jirou: He’s got good all-around use of melee weapons like Momo...

*Awase lunges forward with his bo staff, but Jirou manages to cock her head to the right and dodge to end of the the bo staff*

Jirou: Got him! *Extending her right earphone jack, she is able to strike off Awase’s bag from his belt*

Awase: *Still capabilities on Jirou’s moment of openness and swings around his bo staff to strike Jirou’s right side of her face*

Jirou: *Reels back*

Awase: *Splits his bo staff in half by un-welding the center and using the two halfs he’s made, brings the ends of the halves to his shoulder pads and welds them together. Resulting in two staves with sharp ends to strike with* Don’t underestimate me, my whole costume is my support tool!

Jirou: Annoying... *Begins to charge at Awase*

Bakugou: LOOK OUT, DUMBASS!

Jirou: *Jumps out of the way as Bondo launches another glue rain*

Bondo: Aww... I missed...

*Jirou barely has time to to react as Awase goes back on the offensive and starts thrusting his sharp-ended staves at Jirou’s face. Jirou manages to dodge each and whip Awase with one her jacks.*

Awase: *Staggers back slightly from the strike*

Jirou: *Uses her second jack to bind Awase’s left arm by wrapping around it and gets in close to disarm his right hand.*

Awase: *As Jirou goes to grabs his arm, he uses his right arm to elbow Jirou in the face, braking free of her binding and jumping back for distance*

*Cut away*

Vlad: Looks like we got ourselves a good ol’ fashioned hero brawl! While Class 1-A shows good skill, her little earlobes aren’t going to be enough against the fully armed Awase!

Mina: Just you wait, those little earlobes will be spanking that welder boy’s behind!

*Cut back*

Awase: HAAA! *lifts both his staves above his head and brings them down on Jirou*

Jirou: *Tries to block both with her forearms and her jacks, and while able to hold them off, can feel the pressure of them pushing down on her*

Awase: Looks like I’ll e taking you to jail! Huh-?! *Arms begin to be pulled back as he starts lifting his staves away from Jirou*

*Awase looks behind his to see Sero having started pulling him backwards after recovering from his attack*

Awase: *Lets go of his weapons as Jirou readies to whip him again and he jumps away from them*

Sero: *throws away Awase’s staves and rushes at him, looking like he’s winding up for a punch* Time to turn the tide!

Awase: No problem, I’ll just turn my armor in a face plate! *welds the center piece of his armor to his face* Just try and break through this!

Sero: *Does not actually punch to armor, rather reveals his wind up was a bluff as instead of punching, he shoots tape out at Awase and attaches it to his face plate* Jirou, little help?

Jirou: *smiles and wraps her Jacks around Awase from behind and hurls him*

Sero: *Utilizing the extra force, begins to spin Awase around* This is a lot easier with Uraraka’s gravity...

*Sero slams Awase face first into a girder, but Awase simply stands up and removes the  face plate*

Awase: FELT NOTHING! *Looks to see two speakers on his left and right sides

Jirou: *Has her jacks plugged inside the speakers* Heartbeat Surround! *Fires off a large sound wave around Awase that blasts him in into unconsciousness with its sound*

Awase: Bluu... *collapses and Sero begins to start wrapping him up in tape*

Bondo: AHH! Awase?!

Jirou: *direct her speakers at Bakugou and Sato in Bondo’s glue and releases a strong enough sound wave to break them out without incapacitating them.*

Bakugou: It’s about damn time!

Sato: Good one, Jirou!

Sero: Bakugou, let me help you with Bondo!

Bakugou: FINALLY!

*Bakugou blast off into the air to the higher level where Bondo is*

Bondo: Glue Squall! *Fires a massive jet of glue at Bakugou, but misses as it seems Bakugou is actually pulling back in mid air to stay out off the glue’s reach* Wha?

Bakugou: *Has Sero’s tape attached to his back to pull him as he’s blasting himself through the air* Now your gonna get yours! *Forming his hand into a circle and places it on his other palm* AP SHOT: Auto-cannon!! *Rapidly fires out concentrated blasts of his explosion that head right for Bondo and his surrounding area*

Bondo: I-I know what to do! Super move, Glue Geyser! *Looks up toward the sky and begins to fire high pressured glue from his face. The glue’s reach is minimum, but the top of the geyser begins to form a hardened film on it*

*The geyser’s film protects bondo from the AP: shot*

*cut away*

Vlad: What a move! Cancelling out one super move with another, have you ever seen such ingenuity?

Mina: It’s not special! Besides, the more shots Bakugou does at ounce, the weaker they are! That glue isn’t special!

*cuts back*

Bondo: *jumps down from the higher field* Okay, so if Awase has been beaten, then I fall back and help Kamakiri and Tokage prepare for another ambush!

Sato: Did you forget about me!

Bondo: Glue Squall! *Fires another jet of glue, but Sato is pulled away by tape attached to his back* Not again!

Sero: Looks like I know how far your glue reach is!

Sato: *pulled towards a girder and kicks off the side of it to get close to Bondo* Let me show this off to you! *downs a container of sugar* Sugar Rush! *Releases a flurry of fists that strike Bondo repeatedly*

*cuts away*

Kirishima: Alright! Sato learned how to only take in sugar when he was in close enough so in his berserk mode he wouldn’t have a problem on who to strike because its so closed quarters!

Kaminari: Talk about not letting the power go to waste!

Monoma: Grrr...

*cuts back*

Bondo: *Lands battered and bruised on the field with a thud*

Sato: Phew... *catching breath* I’m going to take this guy back to the jail while I can, you guys go ahead!

Jirou: We’ll leave Awase here. Looks like he’s been beat.

Bakugou: *Landing back on the field* Alright, lets go!

Sero & Jirou: Right!

*cut away*

Tokage: Damn... Damn... I built this plan on Bakugou’s arrogance. He’d be to blinded by his own ego and would wear his team down for us. The hit and run style of fighting would be great for a disjointed team, but no, they’re in sync. And in a confrontation, one of us is not enough to handle all four. Except maybe...

Kamakiri: Hey, Setsuna! I’m back!

Tokage: Hey, Togaru.

Kamakiri: What’s up with the others?

Tokage: I think... I think we may have lost this one.

Kamakiri: What?! There’s no way!

Tokage: Our other teammates just went down and their following my part here, we’re probably gonna lose. *Nervous grin* Sorry I let you guys down, it was my strategy and I take full responsibility for our failure.*

Kamakiri: Failure?! We’re still in this! Are you throwin’ in the towel when the match isn’t even over! Your the awesome recommendation student, you should know what do do if your plan starts falling apart!

Tokage: Looks like he’s all riled up. Just get ready!

Kamakiri: Hmm?

Bakugou: Hey, bug...

Kamakiri: You’re gonna regret coming here, nitro ass...

*cut away*

Jirou: *tracking Tokage* Why Aren’t we helping Bakugou?

Sero: He said we gotta class 1-B high and low. He’s taking care of Kamakiri and we’ll have to find a way to get Tokage!

Jirou: Hm?

*Tokage’s body pieces soon fly out from under the two class 1-A kids and attack them*

Sero: Damn, they really are like mosquitoes! *quickly notices the pieces beginning to move away slightly*

*cut away*

Tokage: Looks like they weren’t ready for a split up!

*cut away*

*Kamakiri and Bakugou are trading blows, however it seems that no one has taken any damage*

Bakugou: *swings in, but is blocked by another blade growing out of Kamakiri*

*cut away*

Deku: Unbelievable... Kacchan’s explosions aren’t doing anything.

Kendou: That’s cause Kamakiri’s blades aren’t just sharp, but they’re incredibly durable! Seems bakugou knows this and has just been parrying Kamakiri’s attacks.

*cuts back*

Kamakiri: *thrusts forward, but Bakugou dodges and grabs that outstretched arm*

Bakugou: Let me take you for a ride! *Outstretch one hand and starts releasing blast of explosions, but they don’t seem to be moving.*

Kamakiri: Keh...! *Grows out blades from his biceps on his grabbed arm enough to puncture Bakugou’s hand and make him let go.* That won’t work on me! *Lifts up his leg to reveal he grew blades on the soles of his feet*

Bakugou: *dodges the kick quick enough to only get cut on the chin* So the bug has a few tricks...

Kamakiri: Tricks? HA! My blade are more than you can ever imagine, in a fight straight up brawl, I’m a demigod compared to you!

Bakugou: Oh yeah, we’ll see about that you shit! *Runs up to Kamakiri*

*Bakugou launches himself with his explosion to jump over Kamakiri. The while Above him He fires a Single AP Shot*

Kamakiri: *Crosses his blades to protect himself from the shot, but is pushed back by the sheer force so he quickly grows blades on his heels*

*Kamakiri then uncrosses his blades as Bakugou is running up to him.. Kamakiri quickly lifts his knee up and grow a blade from his knee cap to block Bakugou’s attack.*

Kamakiri: *Retracts his first blades on his arms and Grows new ones that are angled to skewer Bakugou.*

Bakugou: *launches himself back to avoid it, but finds his back against a girder.* Who the fuck put this here?!

Kamakiri: *Crosses his blades into a cross shape* No where to run! *Dashes towards Bakugou and then grows long horizontal blades on his feet that act similar to skates that help pick up more speed* Super Move, Sword Blitz Press!

*Bakugou readies himself as Kamakiri’s crossed blades collides into Bakugou and push him back. Bakugou manages to hold back some of it, but the attack crushes his back against the girder*

Kamakiri: *Returns his feet to normal* You don’t know what you got yourself into, Mr. first place at the sports festival! Everyone saw what you could do. What your power was! Don’t think for a second some of us haven’t figured out ways to surpass you!

Bakugou: I got news for you... *Opens up his palm that’s in his and Kamakiri’s face* That isn’t going to happen! I. Don’t. Lose! Zero-Distance Explosion!

*With a bright flash Kamakiri is blinded and pushed back with minor blast burns on his face, but so does Bakugou.*

Bakugou: *Grabs onto Kamakiri’s right fang* I made two mistakes when I grabbed you. I grabbed the wrong place and I didn’t put enough force behind that throw! Explode-A-Pult!

*Using his free hand, Bakugou releases a massive explosion that propels him in a spinning motion that once enough momentum is gained, lets go of Kamakiri and throws him into a nearby wall.*

Kamakiri: Gack!

*cut away*

Sato: *Ready to left the still unconscious Awase* Okay, Awase, I got you. No need to worry, I won’t drop you *Notices the strength of Bakugou’s Explode-A-Pult* Looks like They need some help. Nah, Bakugou doesn’t need- *remembers that Bakugou says that when he needs it, his teammates can save him to*

Sato: *Grabbing a sugar container off his belt* It was in that direction, yeah? *Downs the sugar and enter a sugar rush* Super Move Sugar Rush Express!

*Sato begins to run incredibly fast towards the battlefield*

*cut away*

Jirou: Some of those pieces are still crawling, but they seem to be retreating to- *struck by another Tokage piece*

Sero: This quirk... What we know Tokage can split it up into 50 pieces and manipulate them, but what if they have a limit? Can you focus on grabbing just one?

Jirou: Huh?

Sero: *Holding a grenade* I have a plan.

*cut away*

Bakugou: *looks at his stabbed arm* And stay down-Hm?!

Kamakiri: *starts lifting himself up* ...Gah ha.. *Rips off his cloak to reveal that he grew a ton of crossing blades on his back that acted as a shield when getting throwing into the wall* ...I told you... You can’t beat me in a straight up brawl... Exo-Sword!

*cut away*

Manga: Whoa whoa whoa! You see that Bakugou was all like, ‘BOOM BOOM,’ but Kaminari went ‘SHING!’ And is now all like, ‘you what mate?’

Tetsutetsu: I’d still say my durability is stronger.

*cuts back*

Kamakiri: *grows blades on his arms again* YAAAAA!

*They return to their previous exchange at the beginning of the fight with Bakugou only parrying, but with his cut arm, the excretion of the explosions is catching up and the pain is traveling up Bakugou’s arm.*

Kamakiri: Looks like our plan still worked! You’re all alone, and your damage is catching up with you!

Bakugou: Who said I was alone?

Kamakiri: *cocks an eyebrow*

Sato: *comes charging in and decks Kamakiri right in the face as he is occupied with Bakugou* Sugar Rush Express!

Kamakiri: *disoriented and knocked off balance*

Bakugou: Let me finish this! *Punches Kamakiri while he’s disoriented in a big boom that knocks Kamakiri to the ground*

Kamakiri: *on the ground* You... Can’t... Beat... Me...

Bakugou: We just did, bug...

*cut away*

Tokage: No no no no no. Not Togaru. But I almost have all my parts back, I cn hit them with a surprise attack when their all in one place and wake up Togaru and Yosetsu too. 

Tokage: *looks down* And that’s the last of my parts

*on one of the piece appears to be a gernade stuck to it with tape*

Tokage: What?!

*Flashback*

Bakugou: Here, take these. *throws grenades* They aren’t to powerful, but they’ll work. *starts to run after Kamakiri and Bondo*

Team Bakugou: *All running in hot pursuit of Kamakiri and Bondo*

Sero: Hey, Bakugou! You sure these things you gave us will work?

Bakugou: Huh? I spent so much time on those that there’s no way a shit like you could mess them up! 

*present*

Sero: This is just my theory, but I think Tokage’s ability isn’t inexhaustible. Afterall, its the same as Yaoyorozu. She need to replenish herself before she can use her quirk. So Tokage needs all the pieces back to her to activate her quirk in full again.

*small explosion happens*

Tokage: Close call! *notices Someone behind her*

Sero: So when we get her body part back to here, you use your Jack’s range to finally nail her down!

Jirou: *Throwing out her speakers* No where to run or split yourself up to! Heartbeat Surround!

Tokage: *Attacked by a massive sound wave that pelts against her*

*Cut Away*

Sato: Wow, this guy must’ve been good to leave that many scratches on you, Bakugou. *Kamakiri slingged over his shoulder*

Bakugou: Hmph...

Sato: And you let me help you take him down! Can’t believe how much you’ve changed, dude!

Bakugou: Changed?

Tokage: *On the ground, dazed by Jirou*

Bakugou: My goal is the same as its always been. To be the number1 hero, and nothing it holding me back!

End

[fgodestinyawakenings]

EOR SERAPH: Epilogue (END)

And finally the epilogue with the final boss of this Singularity! I... I don’t know what to say except again, DW PLEASE DON’T REPEAT THIS BULLSHIT KIND OF EVENT AGAIN! 

Epilogue

There’s two route of either going with no KP or all KP bought... For sanity, I’m going with all KP bought.

In this final battle, you’re facing the Beast III-R Sesshion Kiara as the final round against her. As her Beast Class affinity, all class deals x1.0 damage (except Alter-Ego and Moon Cancer, who deals extra damage to her), all class takes x1.0 damage from her

Skills: 

Debuff all target with Arts Down/Buster Down/Quick Down (1 turn)

Heals Self (5,000 HP) + Increases HP Recovery (10 turns)

Charges NP Gauge by 1 tick. Inflict Charm status on a random target (1 turn). 

Critical Damage Up (3 turns)

Permanent Buff​ (All which can be removed in KP Shop)

Increase attack by 20%

Increase defense by 20%

Increase NP damage by 20%

Increase critical damage by 50%

Increase debuff resistance by 50%

Increase stun and charm resistance by 50%

Increase Quick resistance by 50%

Increase Arts resistance by 50%

Increase Buster resistance by 50%

Inflicts 1,000 damage to all enemies each turn

Reduce the enemy's critical stars by 10 each turn

Reduce the NP gauge of all enemies by 5% each turn

Recover 5,000 HP each turn.

NP: Deals damage to all targets. Inflict NP Seal status to one random target. (1 turn) Recovers 10,000 HP.

After this fight with her, you got one last visual story mode in both arrows to end the main story of this EOR Singularity!

Thoughts & Observation:

I’ll admit that because this is a rerun version 2 years later, things are slightly more easier compared to the first round that is yet to come

Start preparing for lots of mixed class fight with either AOE Berserker, or a good team setup. Both normal and boss fight in this is even harder than Camelot now that HP bar is implemented

MLB those CE that increase rate of mobs appearance given in event. CEs rolled in gacha... Extremely impossible to MLB them but try to get at least 1 of each to make your grinding hell easier

Passionlip:

Her constant spam of her first skill “Breast Valley”, not only it stacked her defense buff, her debuff immunity is always there making you unable to stun her with her first permanent buff

Even after her first HP break, her three NP charge bar will require you to either spam wide invincibility/evasion often from her AOE NP

But thankfully in this boss fight, she’s been only spamming her first skill so you’re safe from her third skill that ignore invincibility

However upon her second HP break, her new buff doesn’t work often. But it does for me on Leonidas once... Other than, prepare them with Guts for sudden insta-kill

Servants wise:

ST NP Berserkers: Extremely risky to do so but if you manage to pair them up with either one of the caster supports and another, they are the most viable for DPS against her

Lu Bu: His ignore defense NP works very well against her constant buffing of defense. Though, do note his stun will not work thanks to her debuff immunity

Caligula: Helps in stalling with his NP both skills and her own NP... But will definitely not recommended if her debuff immunity is constantly there

Asterious: Same reason with Caligula, despite having good debuff onto her from his NP, the problem still remains on her debuff immunity

ST Three Knight Class: Though they deal 1.0x damage to Alter Ego, they receive lesser damage from them. A good alternative from Berserkers to go for DPS

Support Caster/Servants: Preferably ones who can spam NP defensive support easily due to her NP charge bar

By traits:

Female: Jack, Carmilla (those two will deal 1.0x damage to her, but may be killed faster thanks to Alter Ego’s advantage)

Divine: Scathach, Enkidu, Martha (Ruler)

Humanoid: Nightingale, Okada Izou (same reason with Jack & Carmilla)

Enuma Elish

CEs:

NP generating CE: particularly for support NP Servants to be able to spam NP often

Versus & Fondant au Chocolat: Onto your main DPS to deal more damage for her Divine trait

Art of Death: A slightly cheaper alternative for DPS onto her humanoid trait

Suzuka Gozen

For her first two survival fight against her, get Servants who deal more damage by trait to finish ASAP

Her first permanent debuff on your team can be problematic and annoying as she’ll deplete your crit stars at the end of each turn

First HP break that replaces the first debuff above, can be outwit if you are able to have support Merlin to spam his healing NP often

But her second HP break, though temporarily giving her ally 3-turn attack up, Hijitaka is problematic thanks to his class advantage

Shadow Hijitaka uses his EXTRA attack for his NP, but definitely still able to use his skill

Skills wise, aside from her charm that stuns Male Servants and sudden NP charge by 1 tick... Wide-party Evasion isn’t viable for defense as her latter skill also buff her with ignore evasion

Her AOE NP will buff her with increase critical damage for 3 turns... Whcih also hurts like a bitch

Servants wise:

AOE NP Archers: Or 1 ST NP + 1 AOE Archer because of her 2nd HP break that summons Shadow Hijitaka

Arash: Our pal-suicide-NP is extremely useful when needed to deal one huge damage on the 2nd HP break

Euryale: *points at Hijitaka* If you’d like one ST NP Archer solely to kill Hijitaka

Robin, Billy, David: Viable for ST NP options, but do be careful the moment she buffs with ignore evasion

Kid-Gil: Adorable oldest king’s Charm skill helps you in stalling

Touta; Third skill helpful in defense on HP for 3 turns

By traits:

Divine: Napoleon, Arjuna, Oda Nobunaga

Female (Suzuka Gozen): Jack & Carmilla

Humanoid: Nightingale, Okada Izou

Male (Hijitaka): Orion, Euryale, Medb, Stheno

Enuma Elish

CEs:

Versus & Fondant au Chocolat: For Suzuka’s Divine trait

Kiyohime CE: To deal against Hijitaka

Increase Healing power: if needed on her first HP break

Meltlilith

The most difficult thing about her is actually her very first debuff before getting replaced: debuffing one of your front-line Servants with Taunt.

This debuff will still land on another Servant, even if you have any taunters in front with taunt activated

My fight with her have it usually landing it on Jeanne Alter Berserker, so keeping her alive was a problem

Her first HP break second debuff skill seal, is also a problem especially when relying on Merlin/David Wide defense from her ST NP

The third one isn’t as bad but you may want to spam your Servant’s heal often

While skillset doesn’t have an issue, her ST NP effect removed all buffs on targeted Servant, which can be challenging if she hits on your DPS with the buff stack

Servants wise:

ST Berserker: Unlike her sister Passionlip, I don’t really recommend to bring them unless you got good defense to keep them alive before first HP break

ST NP Three knights class Servants: The most recommended ones to bring particularly David, Robin and Billy for their ignore evasion NP and skill

By Traits:

Female: Jack, Carmilla (those two will deal 1.0x damage to her, but may be killed faster thanks to Alter Ego’s advantage)

Divine: Scathach, Enkidu, Martha (Ruler)

Humanoid: Nightingale, Okada Izou (same reason with Jack & Carmilla)

Enuma Elish

CEs:

NP generating CE: particularly for support NP Servants to be able to spam NP often

Versus & Fondant au Chocolat: Onto your main DPS to deal more damage for her Divine trait

Art of Death: A slightly cheaper alternative for DPS onto her humanoid trait

Demon God Pillar

Since its gimmick are rely on BB’s Jackpot, the only issue is its class advantage

Both attack and NP deals AOE damage to everyone, so taunters aren’t reliable here

But do note that it only buff itself with critical damage up, and be careful when they start stacking more than 2

Buff remover like Medea is more than welcome with her ST NP damage against it

David also for NP skill seal to prevent from buffing itself further

Take your own pick for support Caster, but generally either support in generating NP for DPS to spam, or AOE protection from its NP should do

I don’t have much recommended Servant in mind, just bring your strongest ST NP DPS + 2 support to finish it

BB

The main difficulty is getting past the 6 Servants of mixed class to get to her.

Though they are Shadow Servants, their crit and NP EXTRA attack still hurts like a real fucking bitch

Her additional 2 skills gives her 20k healing and random debuff that can be removed via Mystic code or Servant’s skill

But her NP will immediately give her 1 tick NP charge after use, so do kill her quickly

Servants wise:

Amakusa & Martha Ruler: As this is general in both rerun and first run, these two are your best option before mothman and Sherlock comes in. Martha more preferred if you can borrow for support or have your own to be the main DPS

Jeanne: Depending on RNG, if assuming she doesn’t use her 2nd skill to remove invincibility and stun the targeted Servant

QSH & Sherlock: The alternatives with their own buffs and debuff from their NP, they can crit hard on BB with the good amount of stars

ST NP Berserker: Again not really recommended if you aleady got a ruler, her third skill of crit damage can hit really hard

Support Servants: Merlin, if you’re planning to set up a team revolving either Amakusa/Martha. Tamamo for Jeanne and helpful to spam her NP often

Taunters: With her ST NP, you may want Taunters to avoid damage landing on your DPS or support

Arash: To clear either first or second wave to spare damage from your team

By trait:

Female: Carmilla & Jack (But do beware of Shadow Caster Cu in the first wave)

Humanoid: Nightingale & Okada Izou

Enuma Elish

CEs:

Taunt CEs: When needed against BB’s NP

Stun resist CE: I don’t think it’s really needed but if you’d like you can equipped them

Emiya Alter

Similar to Corrupted Ushiwakamaru fight, he receives and deals 1.0x damage from all class. Alter Ego, however, deals 1.5x damage to him

His difficulty kicks in the moment his HP bar break. Invincibility skill/NP becomes extremely useless thanks to his permanent ignore invincibility + NP damage UP

Also with this fight gimmick, he gains an additional skill: increase NP charge by 1 tick with HP drain as demerit

While his skillset isn’t as lethal as his non-Alter counterpart, his NP is one dangerous effect that even penetrates defense buff together with his ignore invincibility upon HP break

Servants wise:

Meltlilith & Eli-chan: The former is more recommended for the first run. But second run, do bring out Mecha Eli-chan along with Melt for DPS

Stun & NP Drain Servants: With his unique to charge his NP now as and when, both stun and staller are recommended to bring for this fight to delay his NP

Skill seal Servants: Alternative to NP drain, skill seal prevent Emiya Alter from charging his NP

Dress of Heaven: While Merlin is still viable with his healing, Irisviel and help more with not only healing, but her NP in particular to grant everyone Guts for 3 turns, timed perfectly when Emiya Alter is about to use his NP

Taunters: To avoid his NP on your DPS and support

By traits: Excluding Alter Ego class, this fight is more recommended with Servant that deals more damage by trait

Male: Euryale (most recommended for budget DPS), Medb, Orion, Summer Tamamo, Stheno

Humanoid: Okada Izou, Nightingale

Evil: Sanson (recommended alternative for DPS), Vlad EXTRA, Beni-enma

Enuma Elish

CEs:

Kiyohime CE

5000 year old curse: For NP seal to stall time

Art of Death

Holy Shroud of Magdalene

Guts CE: On DPS or anyone you preferred, to survive longer to deal NP at him if needed

Beast III-R aka Sesshoin Kiara

I’m only going to cover her Heaven Hole’s version because I haven’t and WILL NOT go to her Demonic Bodhisattva version

Main advice because it needs to be bold and capitalized: COMPLETE EVERY MISSION TO BUY ALL BUFF AND DEBUFFS IN THE KP SHOP

Buying all not only makes the fight easier, but it helps on the final buff in allowing you to use Command Seal/Saint Quartz when needed to revive your team

In this version, all HP bar have no gimmick upon break. But her skillset of healing herself and deals debuff on your team can be tough in dealing damage

AOE NP apparently not only NP seal but also skill seal to your whole front-line team while she recovers 10k HP

A fight that following this advice in reddit, helps in not using CS to finish this fight

Servants wise:

Merlin + Mash: If you don’t have Merlin, it can be borrowed, but otherwise... This two + 1 main DPS will do the trick in killing her for this fight

Alter Egos DPS: Either Melt or Passionlip if you have either, bring them as they deal more damage to her for this whole event

Gilgamesh: .... For some reason, this version of Kiara isn’t Weak to Enuma Elish. Yet, he’s still a viable DPS to bring since his own attack already deal high damage

By trait:

Demonic: Rama & Caster Shuten

Evil: Beni-Enma, Vlad EXTRA, Sanson

Female: Carmilla & Jack

Humanoid: Nightingale & Okada Izou

CEs:

Prisma Cosmo or any regeneration CE: Because one of the key in winning this is spamming both Mash & Merlin’s NP as often as you can

NP starting CE: For your DPS so that you can use their ST NP earlier to deal damage

Now this is over... Time to get back to that Detour quest while preparing for ENCORE quest!

[mickeyforrealz]

Night Terrors - Part 11

Part 10 and Part 1

-

Chase knows where he is the second his ass crashes into the carpeted floor.

It was that god damn hallway.

Everything was bathed in red. The light glowed through the house, Stacy's house. The kids lived there most of the time.

Brody stumbled to a standing position. He didn't want to be here. Anywhere but here. Panic began to overtake him as he ran forward. All thought of the other Septic Egos was gone as he focused on the most important thing ever.

His children.

Chase moves towards that awful room. He can still hear Sammy calling out in her small voice. He saw the doorway. It's no longer had the silhouette of that... bastard, but it was still scary.

The trickshooter walks into the room. His eyes dart around, still not adjusted to the sharp shadows of his surroundings.

That's when the small bodies on the floor become noticeable.

Chase screams in anguish as he realizes who the bodies belong to. The sounds he begins to make are inhuman as he collapses to the floor. He drags both of the small corspes closer to him so that he can hug them close and screech their names into the dark abis of a room.

Sammy and Earl's glassy eyes stare up at their father, the limp bodies he holds belonging to the only things he can never lose.

-

Jackieboy Man doesn't recognize the city he's in. All he knows is that it's burning.

Everything is on fire.

The superhero jumps in the air, using his one un-stereotypical super power. He manipulated the air to become hard, as if an invisible platform was appearing under him. He bounces off of it, leaping to a nearby building.

My god, it was so red.

The heat radiates from the city. He knows he can withstand it better than most, but he can feel his skin heat as he leaps to another building. The second his feet touch it, the roof collapses, the stability of the apartment complex completely gone.

Jackie lands on his feet. He jumps up and races through the building. He opens doors to rooms and helps whoever he can. A small boy here, a middle aged woman there. He flings an unconscious janitor over his shoulder as he herds people towards an exit. They speed out of the burning building. Jack hugs the janitor close, his hold on them slipping.

The exit signs blares green, a contrast to the red fire. Everyone is full of so much hope, so much want to live....

Which ripped if ripped away from them as wood pillars and concrete fall on either sides of them, crushing several people and trapping the rest.

JBM drops the janitor to the ground and attempts to remove the rubble, but he yelps as blisters form on his hands. It was to hot.

He looks to the ceiling, swearing. He leaps up and grabs a loose support beam, but his weight causes it to come loose. He tumbles to the ground.

All the superhero can hear is screams as people rush around him, cuddling their loved ones and mourning the ones who just died. He curls into a ball.

Accusations are thrown at him as he weeps.

"NOT A HERO!!"

"IT'S YOUR FAULT WE'RE GOING TO DIE HERE".

"You are nothing!"

Jackieboy Man weeped as humans burned around him. His funny and chill persona dropped as his broken interior became his exterior.

-

I knew where I was the second I rolled onto the hard concrete.

You can't forget a place that made you a monster.

Anti's realm was a pocket dimension. Too small to attract attention from cosmic entities, yet big enough to torture all of his favourite puppets.

I cautiously walked down the cemented hallway. Anti had wanted his realm to be a maze, with many rooms to stick his play mates in. I looked to the metal doors, the iron almost rusted shut. I didn't see any activity in this hallway. I moved to the next one, knowing the forever changing layout like the back of my hand. I looked to the room marked "Dr good dead Doctor".

Schneep rushed around the room, doing what looked to be a surgery. Except the tools were fake, just children's toys, while he did the operation on a stuffed mannequin. I watched in slight disgust as he did heart compressions. He checked the heart monitor.

"NURSE!! I NEED ZE DEFIBRILLATOR! NURSE!" He screamed. "Jackaboy, it vill be okay. I need you to stahp being a little bitch baby." He continued to try to save a fake friend. "Nurse!!"

I yanked on the door, only to see it welded shut. I could see the tears leaking from Henrik's eyes. I tried again as I realized what Anti was doing.

Seeing my attempts useless, I continued down the hallway. I saw a room for Chase, who sat on the floor, clutching two blood red mannequins in an empty room. Noticing the shapes of the dolls, I gagged. His children? How could anyone be so-?

I marched to another door, rage boiling in my chest. Jackie was curled in a ball with immobile mannequins staring at him. He sobbed from the floor. Condensation was collecting on the glass, giving me the impression that the room was hot.

I slammed my fist in anger as I watched the hero break. Anti. That evil fucker.

I was about to leave the hallway before I saw the last door. It was wide open, the accompaniment free to leave.

I gazed into the room, horrified.

Jameson sat in a chair, his hands covered in red. I glanced to the corner to see piles of empty ketchup bottles. Props. That's all it was.

Jamie stared at the floor, a cardboard knife in his hands. Several dolls laid around the room, all on their sides. Some were missing limbs while others had huge holes torn into them, as if someone had ripped them open with their bare hands. I tapped on JJ, who didn't make eye contact as he spoke.

"I love this game." I let out a small gasp as I heard his voice. It was British, from no particular part of Britain, as if it was what someone thought the accent sounded like. He sounded hoarse, and his tone was excited.

"It's not real, Jackson", I said quietly. He didn't acknowledge me as he continued speaking.

"I love being a little puppet. Oh yes, it's so much fun! That don't feel any pain anymore! I can't hear theį̴ŗ͞ ͜҉͠t̶i̕n̛y͏̕,̕͞ ̨̧̨a̷͠ņ̵n͘͟o͏̶͘y̡̧in͏͡g ̶̀͜v͜͝ơ͢͝i̴͏̛ce̶̕s̵̡ ҉scr̢̨e͏̡ec̕h͘ ̡̢í̕n f̡e͢à̷͘r̵." He voice became glitchy, and I saw him. Anti. I saw him in our mute boy's eyes.

"Jameson! It's not real!" I shouted. He was scaring me.

He head snapped to look at me, his face contorting into an evil grin.

"Bưţ̷ ̧́͝i̷t̴ ̀i̢ś͏,̡̛ ̛i̛f̀͡ ̀͟͝i͏t̢̀͠'̕s ͟a̢l̶l͝ ̡i̕҉n̴̕ ̕y̧o̢͡u̢͘͢r̛͝ ͘҉mi͝n̵̡d̷̨͠.͏"

-

@mimiloverfox @xtracheesy @e-m-y-m-o @watermelonsinmyattic

[miss-eucatastrophe]

Chapter 3: Bruises

A/N: My first ever FF– Previously posted only on AO3, now available here. I hope you like it! I have no beta so please forgive any mistakes! (I’m still getting the hang of tumblr)

Pairing: Bucky x PlusSize!OFC/Serum!OFC (Can also be read as a Bucky X Reader fic. Your name is Cassandra. You’re welcome you beautiful bitch).

Summary:Trying to integrate into “normal” life, Bucky slowly falls into a routine. Wake up, run, gaze at the woman who works in the toy store as he passes by, eat, mission, sleep, repeat. But when he goes toe to toe with a thief who threaten’s to trash his routine by becoming an obsession, will he be able to put his bizarre life back in order, or will this woman turn his 21st century world on it’s head?Yep, the Bucky/Serum!Reader story you didn’t know you wanted.

Rated: Explicit (For later chapters. Smut does not occur until Ch 12, everything before that point is T or M.)  

Chapter 3:

This was about pride. Bucky wasn’t ashamed to admit that. His ego had been bruised the first time and he wasn’t about to let that happen twice. “I’ve got eyes on the jewels.” He whispered gruffly through their communicators.

“I’ve got rooftop one.” Steve replied.

“I’ve got two.” Sam added.

“Ah good. Actually watching the object this time.”

“Tony.” There was the Captain Voice™.

“And by that I mean, I’ve got three.”

Bucky didn’t want everyone to come along. Hell, he didn’t even want Steve to come this time. But that was his ego talking. She got away once, but this time he knew what he was expecting and he wouldn’t let it happen again.

“Remind me again why we’re not watching any of the doors?” Sam asked from his perch in the Egyptian exhibit.

“How many thieves do you know who just waltz in the front door?” Steve wasn’t often snippy. During missions, he was particularly professional. But, he’d be lying if he said the other night’s blunder didn’t get under his skin as well. He didn’t blame Bucky, though he felt his tension. Steve always took blame upon himself. He really should have had eyes on the crown, and more importantly his oversight had lead to the destruction of a priceless fossil, a lost crown, and destruction of privet property.

“Yeah this chick hates windows as much as Cap here hates doors.” They didn’t need to see Tony’s face to view his smirk. It was obvious- and well… Captain America had destroyed a lot of doors with his mighty shield. Tony started to hum the beginning of Steve’s old theme song- Steve cut him off immediately. “Shut up, Tony.”

“My feelings.” Tony responded, mock pain in his voice.

Then came the crash. They could hear it from Sam’s intercom. “Shit.” He murmured.

This time it wasn’t the rooftop window that shattered, it was one at the ground level. The girl dove through the window, rolling on the floor and drawing her gun, pointing it up at the Falcon in his perch and firing. It was as if she’d known exactly where he was. The bullet missed his chest, hitting a panel at the front of his suit.

Sam jumped off the perch to dive down at the woman. He extended his wings only to find out, too late, that one wouldn’t open. The bullet had jammed into one of the main panels of his suit in just the right brittle section. He cursed, trying to right himself with one wing, twirling to the ground in a graceless spiral.

The Falcon continued his path downward, heading straight for a series of glass cases. The woman ran from her crouched position, springing up beside him as he neared the floor and delivered a kick to his side, sending him propelling to a display of stuffed mannequins. It should have added insult to injury, but it was a much softer landing by comparison to the glass cases.

When Sam’s world stopped spinning, he stood up on unsteady legs, using one of the mannequins that was still standing as a support. The girl was gone. “I’m grounded.” He groaned, taking off his goggles and rubbing his head.

“Stay put. I’m coming.” Steve murmured, pushing off the wall he’d been crouched beside.

“Stay in position, Rodgers!” Whenever they were on a mission, Steve and Tony fought for dominance like a couple of children. It was a constant mystery as to who was really in charge of the whole thing. Most of the time the team just followed whoever’s orders sounded more reasonable, or they acted as a team, using the information given to them to make the best call for their actions. But it didn’t quell Steve and Tony’s bickering.

In this case however, things had been decided for him. Their target landed in front of the star-spangled hero, stopping his charge for the Egyptian exhibit. With that mask in place he couldn’t see her smile. “Captain.” She said sweetly. The sweet tone didn’t seem to be mocking. It was almost like she was genuinely happy to see him.

A tone that was contradicted by the balled fist she had aimed for his perfect face. Steve flicked his shield from his back and thrusted it in front of the fist. When her fist made contact with the shield, the sound reverberated around the room. Such a hit should have shattered the girl’s hand. But to Steve’s surprise and confusion, she pulled back and used the force of her punch to skid backwards away from the super soldier.

“Most men are opposed to protection.” She murmured, standing back with her hip cocked, the mask muffling her voice.

“I’m old fashioned.” Steve shot back. There was a pause-- a tension between them as if they were waiting to see who would blink first. It was Steve.

He threw his shield in the girl’s direction and charged after it. She dropped to her knees, the disk flying over her head, kicking her leg out as the Captain approached, knocking out his knees and sending him onto his back. She pressed her palms to the floor and lifted her lower body up, twisting to throw her heels downward on the blue clad man.

He rolled out of the way, sending her heels into the marble floor and creating a crack that webbed out from the impact.

Steve sprung to his feet and ran to where his shield had embedded itself in one of the opposing pillars, yanking it from the stone with great effort. The Captain turned in time to see the thief running at him. She leapt into the air, using the momentum of her fall to deliver a kick to the captain.

He was seeing a pattern, she did a lot of her combat with her legs, preferring kicks over punches.

He crouched and held his shield over his head, bracing himself as her boot came down on it. He pushed up, forcing the girl upwards to the ceiling. Lowering his shield, he looked up to see the girl gripping the chandelier.

The girl kicked her legs, swinging from the chandelier. She built enough momentum to let go of the sparkling decoration and drop onto the ledge of the second floor. She hooked herself against the banister and swung over. “Thanks for the lift.”

Steve cussed and ground his teeth. “Language.” Tony called over the intercom.

Steve ignored him. “She’s heading your way, Buck.”

Bucky smirked and dug his metal fingers into the column he’d been hiding behind. “Copy.”

He heard steady footsteps and watched from around the corner as the woman approached the necklace. She lifted the case and set it down on the floor, as if trying to cause minimal damage this time. She plucked the jeweled necklace from its headless torso display and placed it around her neck, turning in the direction where Bucky was shrouded by shadows.

“What do you think, handsome? Is it my color?” She cocked a hip and pushed the mannequin off of the podium to rest her elbow there, posing. “I’ve never been a big fan of the way emeralds look on me.” She murmured, her fingers caressing the main gem that hung low on her neck.

“You’d look better in sapphire.” Bucky mumbled, stepping out of the shadows.

“Oh good! I was worried I’d have to come drag you out here.” She purred, though Bucky’s jaw tightened. He walked closer to the woman. She eyed his shoulders, focused on the way he moved. In her mind she compared him to a panther, slinking closer to it’s pray. She pushed away from the podium so they could circle each other and for that moment nothing else existed.

“Someone’s mad about last time.” She smirked behind her mask, tilting her head to the side.

“Didn’t realize how strong you were last time.” Bucky stopped his pacing, all muscles wound tight under his black clothing.

The thief mimicked the action, stopping in her tracks, the only thing moving was the necklace between her breasts. It rose and fell with each calculating breath. “That was stupid of you.”

With that Bucky charged at her, gripping her around the waist and pinning her back against the podium. He reached beside her and gripped her wrist in a vice with his metal hand, struggling to hold her in place. She hooked her legs upwards, folding herself over and dislodging his arms from her waist and wrist, gripping his neck between her knees. She used her new position as leverage, resting her forearms back on the podium for stability and twisting her lower body to knock the man off his feet.

With Bucky on his back, he curled and thrusted back up to get on his feet, the woman, crouched on the podium. He drew two of his guns from his hips and fired at her, forcing her to spring upwards to avoid the bullets. She ran across the room, Bucky’s bullets following her movements until she slid over a row of display cases and ducked behind them for cover.

“Calm down terminator. We want her alive.” Tony flew into the room, dropping down with a thud, the Captain right behind him.

Tony lifted his hands, palms of his suit glowing as they powered up for a blast.

“Alright Miley Cyrus, give it up.” Bucky and Steve looked at Tony with confused expressions. Bucky arched a brow, and Steve squinted.

Sam came in in time to explain. “Because she came in like a wrecking ball.” He muttered, gun drawn.

“I thought it was clever.” Tony murmured defensively. Bucky and Steve were still baffled but let it go, peering at the jewelry display case that the woman had hid behind. Bucky holstered one of his guns in favor of keeping only one pointed in her direction. No sound came from behind the case.

They remained in an unrequited stand off until Bucky got frustrated and became the first to move. Tony reached forward, taking Bucky’s shoulder in a tight fist to keep him back, but even in his iron suit Bucky shrugged the hand off.

The former Winter Soldier jumped onto the case, pointing his gun downward at-

Nothing.

His blue eyes narrowed and he barred his teeth, growling deep in his chest. “Son of a bitch.” There was a hole clearly punched or kicked in the base of the wall large enough for the thief to fit through.

“Language.” Tony called for the second time that night.

“One goddamn time.” The Captain muttered, shooting Tony a look.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“How many avengers does it take to shut down one thief?” Sam grumbled in the morning after they’d all been well rested from the night before and had finished licking their wounds.

“Evidently a number greater than four.” Tony commented, throwing himself into one of the armchairs in the lounge. “But hey if we’re bringing more in- how about we make it the young ones. You know. Ones that’ll get my jokes. I keep forgetting Captain Grandpa and Sargent Senior Citizen over there aren’t hip.”

“She’s strong.” Steve commented, rubbing the back of his neck which he’d tweaked in his fight with the woman. In reality, it was already healed. The memory was enough to make him sore.

“Let’s change your name to Captain Obvious.” Tony murmured, throwing his arm over his eyes as if to block out the sunshine that had started to coat the compound.

Steve rolled his eyes and sat down on the couch next to Sam while Bucky remained standing behind it, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What I mean is that she’s not human.” Steve muttered. Sam nodded and picked up the TV remote, flipping on the news.

“What is she then?” Sam mumbled. He ached in places he didn’t even know he had. He wasn’t going to run today. Steve would have to drag him kicking and screaming like a man baby.

“Asgardian maybe?”

Tony interjected Cap’s thought process immediately. “Nope. Doesn’t sound like a runaway thespian when she speaks.”

“A white ass Hulk?” Sam tried. Tony snorted. He didn’t need to correct that one. That was obviously out.

There was a silence that fell over the room, all eyes on the TV without really watching it. They couldn’t hear it over the wheels turning in their heads anyway.

“A super soldier.” Bucky said suddenly in a horsed hush.

All eyes turned to look at him. “I thought they were all killed by Zemo in Siberia.” Steve’s brow crinkled and Tony frowned. They all tried not to bring up Siberia. Obviously, it wasn’t a happy memory. All had been forgiven but not forgotten. Well, as forgiven as it could be. Tony still harbored some underlying resentment towards the metal armed member of their team. He knew it wasn’t necessarily Bucky’s doing, but those scars ran deep.

“They were,” Bucky amended quickly. “But in your 21st century I can’t imagine someone hasn’t managed to copy it.”

“Or something like it.” Tony amended, “HYDRA?” Steve shrugged and cocked a brow at Tony’s guess. “What would hydra want with museum pieces?”

Sam hissed against the chatter. “Shh! They’re talking about the artifacts on the news.”

Tony reached for the remote instinctively and turned up the volume. Some people just always had to be in control of the remote.

“- and in an odd twist of fate the three priceless treasures that had been stolen this week have found their way back home. The pieces were returned to their rightful museums in seamless condition as if they hadn’t been stolen in the first place.” The woman on the screen stated in her best announcer voice, using the Smithsonian as a backdrop for her story.

“Guess the thief had a guilty conscious.” Her co-anchor back at the station added to which the woman nodded with a clearly fake laugh. “Or a change of heart.” She added before they switched topics.

“Why would she give them back?” Steve muttered, running his hand over his brow in frustration.

“She said green wasn’t her color.” Bucky murmured sarcastically. He was bitter. It was clear in his tone.

Steve leaned back, molding into the couch and pinched his brow, sucking in a frustrated breath. “I’m so damn lost.” He mumbled, the hand at his brow shifting upwards to run through his blonde hair. “That makes four of us.” Sam tilted his head back, he could use a nap.

Tony scoffed softly but didn’t add anything.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If Bucky’s face often looked pissed, then it looked furious today. He never had to worry about someone talking to him on his run, he didn’t even have to worry about anyone looking at him half the time. But today his face clearly said, ‘don’t even look at me’. As a result, all innocent bystanders practically dove out of the way to avoid him.

Well, almost all.

As Bucky came around the corner, he had to slide to a stop to avoid colliding with a woman. His sneakers skidded against the ground, kicking up what little rocks where there, bringing him chest to chest with Cassandra. She flinched, as if bracing for impact, but it never came. She smiled brightly at Bucky, a Starbucks pink liquid in one hand and a muffin in the other. “Hey.” She said simply, putting the straw between pale pink lips.

“Hey.” He replied sheepishly after a moment of hesitation. “Sorry I… My mind was elsewhere.” He mumbled as she took a sip of her drink.

“Well why don’t you follow me to the shop and tell me about where your minds been?” She asked and gestured with her head in the direction of the shop. “Got here early so I thought I’d go to the coffee shop and pick up some breakfast.”

Bucky looked at the pink drink and arched a brow. “No coffee?”

“Doesn’t work for me.” She replied, though she rushed to add. “I don’t like it anyway. Tastes like tar.” She fished her keys out of the back pocket of her jeans. Finally- a decent view. He looked down at her ass unabashed, only looking up when the door opened. He followed her in, closing the door behind him.

“And since you’re here I might as well put you to work.” She grinned and pointed to the boxes by the door. “They’re kinda heavy for me.”

Bucky smirked and picked up the first bulky box, walking to set it on the back counter where she could sort it. “Anything for you, baby doll.” He murmured with a wink. Spending time around this woman really did bring the old Bucky back. For the time he was with her the weight of the world seemed to be off his shoulders.

Cassandra smiled and bit her lip, a nervous habit it would seem.

Bucky could feel her eyes on him and despite her apparent shyness she made no move to avert her gaze. She followed the path of his arms where flesh mirrored metal, listening to the gears adjust in his metal arms like a symphony and watching the muscles shift and flex under his flesh.

“Shivery isn’t dead after all.” She giggled, taking off her jacket and placing it on the chair at the counter. For this, unfortunately, she had to avert her gaze, turning her back to him.

“It just got frozen for a couple decades.” He shot her a look over his shoulder and his smile faded. “What’s that?” He gestured to her forearm with his chin since his arms were full.

Following his gaze, she looked to her arm which had a harsh purple bruise around her wrist, spanning up half her forearm. Her eyes appeared to glaze over it quickly and she lifted her arms and looked down as if inspecting herself completely. “What’s what?” She looked at Bucky, brows up and eyes wide in an innocent expression.

Bucky dropped the box on the counter and took her right arm gently in his metal hand, letting her wrist rest in his palm. “This.” Blue eyes narrowed, his flesh hand taking hers gingerly so he could inspect the bruise. “Oh!” She exclaimed as if she hadn’t seen it. It was rather impossible to miss. “I must have bumped into something.” She slipped her hand from Bucky’s and rubbed at her wrist tenderly with a bright smile and a shrug of her shoulders. “As you know I’m not very graceful.”

She laughed at the joke at her own expense but Bucky’s skeptical gaze remained. The bruise was fresh, only a few hours old at most judging by it’s deep coloring. Bruises didn’t start to yellow until about three days after infliction. At four hours they were a light purple and at twenty-four a deeper one. This bruise was between the two. She would remember how she got it.

Even through her absentminded rubbing of the area, Bucky could make out it’s shape. An oval like formation on the top of her forearm, four long and narrow bruises on the side and one wrapping under to connect with the four. It was as if she’d been gripped. Though each section had wider areas of blank space than a normal hand’s knuckles would create where they met.

Bucky opened his mouth to speak when the front door chimed and a man and woman pushing a baby carriage came in. “Morning Cassie!” They pipped up, giving a little nod and mouthing a ‘good morning’ to Bucky as well though they didn’t know him.

Cassandra turned her head to regard the family of three with one of her signature bright smiles. “Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Thomson… And Baby Thomson.” She added jokingly. The brunette turned her focus back to Bucky and shrugged. “Duty calls. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Bucky gave a short nod and with that Cassandra walked over to the regular customers and he made his way out of the store with one more glance over his shoulder.

A variety of thoughts were rocketing through Bucky’s already scrambled mind but they weren’t adding up.

[junker-town]

Secret Base Hall of Fame: Casey Fossum

Photo by Andy Lyons /Getty Images

One day fifteen years ago, this man ruined me.

“Eephus” is a stupid-looking name for a stupid-looking pitch. Only a few players across Major League Baseball history have regularly thrown it, and Casey Fossum is one of them.

Many of the greatest pitchers of all time have found success mostly by changing speeds. If you can throw 95 miles per hour one minute and 77 the next, you make it tough for the batter to lock in and time it right. This only really works if you can make it look like either one might be coming out of your hand. You can’t tip off the batter. Your delivery needs to look the same.

If you wanted to right now, you could give yourself an oversimplified demonstration of how high of an art this is. Wad up a paper ball or something. Throw it as hard as you can, paying close attention to how your arm and your body moves when you throw it. Now mimic that same throwing motion, but only throw it half as hard. You’ll then have some iota of how difficult this is to do with a baseball from 60 feet away.

But the eephus? That only hits the mitt at 55, 50, even 45 miles per hour. Here is what Fossum’s looked like.

Some GIFs make a sound, and this one sounds like a slide whistle. It’s cartoonish in appearance, and it can work if it’s deployed smartly — in one newspaper report, teammates noted that he only threw about three eephus pitches per game. Deploy it too often, and they’ll catch on to you. You have to keep it a weird, sad surprise, like a cigarette butt in a load of laundry.

I don’t know why the 25 or so notable eephus pitchers in baseball history picked up that pitch, but greatness is not the common denominator. Casey Fossum was not at all a great pitcher by Major League Baseball standards; in fact, among pitchers to make at least 100 starts, Fossum finished with one of the worst ERAs of all time. But you will not hear me denigrate his abilities for two reasons: first, he was, of course good enough to stick around and make those 100-plus starts in the first place.

And second, the video game version of Casey Fossum inflicted upon me a great and terrible humiliation. One that made me swear off baseball video games forever. To this day, I have not returned.

It’s 2006, I’m 23 years old, and we’re in my apartment. This story is about Casey Fossum and not me, so I’ll only pull the curtain back a little.

If you look to the left of the TV, you’ll see a weight bench. I have a friend who likes to drive around and pick up random junk that people have left on the curb. One day he stopped by unannounced, back when people just did that, with the weight bench in the back of his truck. “You want this? I’ve already got one.” Sure.

We lugged it up to my place, and it wasn’t until a couple days later that I tried to use it, stood up, took a close look at it, and realized that it was a child-sized weight bench. This possibility never occurred to me because I didn’t realize such a thing existed. Was I mistaken here? Another friend stopped by. “No, yeah, dude, this thing is for kids. It’s gotta be.” I’m too lazy to try to sell, it, and I’m certainly not going to pay a junk hauler to drive it away, because I don’t have the kind of money you need to do … anything, really. So it’s sat there for a year. It doesn’t do anything and it isn’t going anywhere. Takes one to know one, pal.

If we can direct our attention back to the right, I’m firing up Major League Baseball 2K6 on my Xbox. I don’t know why! I don’t even like playing this game! I felt, and still feel, that realistic baseball video games are a bad idea. They should either be oversimplified like the R.B.I. Baseball series, or off-the-wall lunacy like Mario Superstar Baseball. The art of getting good wood on the ball can’t possibly be simulated by a single button-press, but that’s what this game has stuck you with, so batting really feels more like bet-placing than anything.

I’m in the lobby of this game I suck at and don’t enjoy, waiting for an online match. This is only gonna piss me off, because even by 2006 standards, my internet connection is terrible. I’ve lost Yahoo! Chess matches due to lag, that’s how bad it is. I get matched up, and as the loading screen appears, I hear some kid’s voice crackle through the mic. He probably isn’t older than 12.

Online gaming with kids is a pretty weird experience that we all just kind of have to get used to. You’ve been robbed of your superior social standing. You’re not any more dignified than they are. This is not a friendly game of Mario Kart with your youngest sibling, and you can’t laugh it off as a friendly match that’s all in fun. That’s not why people play online games. We play to win, not to have fun. Who took the time to upload a custom avi? Who carefully monitors their rating? Who patiently waited in the lobby for five minutes to find a ranked match? You did, dummy, just like they did. You’re taking this equally seriously and you cannot even try to pretend otherwise.

I’m beginning to think I might collect my first-ever win when I see that he’s chosen the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, one of the worst teams in baseball. The only real draw for selecting this team lies in Scott Kazmir, their young ace with a high-90s fastball and a terrific slider. I’m further amused when this kid doesn’t even start him.

He starts Casey Fossum.

At this time, I have no idea Fossum has an eephus pitch, or what an eephus even is. Unlike the real-life Fossum, the kid throws this thing so often that his fastball is actually the off-speed pitch. It goes something like eephus, fastball, eephus, eephus, fastball, eephus. When he strikes out the side in the first inning, all I can really do is laugh. I’ve never seen a pitch that looked like that. It moves like the clay pigeons in Duck Hunt. But it’s fine, I’ll figure it out.

He strikes out the side in the second as well. I just cannot figure this guy out. The eephus is such a strange pitch that even when I guess correctly that an eephus is coming, I still miss somehow. I can’t even make contact. Worst of all, I can’t even work the count, because the vast majority of his pitches are landing over the plate.

Around batter number five, I hear him over the mic:

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

This will continue throughout the rest of the game. He doesn’t stop.

Heading into the third inning, I talk myself through a strategy: listen, if he’s going to keep throwing the eephus, just assume he’s throwing one every single time. If I’m late on a fastball, I’m late. Just hit the eephus. If I time it right, I could hit that thing 500 feet.

He then strikes me out on three straight fastballs, all of which I am comically late on. I immediately abandon this strategy.

What, lil’ bitch

Lil’ stupid-ass bitch

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

I don’t have a mic, and thank God for that.

Beyond completely destroying the opponent’s sense of timing — a thing already compromised by the lag — there’s another special utility to the eephus as deployed against you in an online game. It makes you look like a total idiot. You’re finished with your swing before the ball is even halfway to the plate. If you bet the other way and guess wrong, you don’t even begin to swing until the ball’s basically in the mitt. Video Game Fossum doesn’t even have to fool you with pitch placement. Every ball goes over the plate. He’s attacking your your ability to time, sense, react. He’s directly attacking your intellect.

Nothing will tilt an online gamer quite like being obviously and repeatedly outsmarted and made to look like a dummy. Someone will find out you’re susceptible to one particular parlor trick and beat you to death with it. There’s the phase in which you recognize what’s being done, how it’s happening, and what you need to do to counteract it. What comes after is the phase in which you realize that there’s nothing you can do. Your opponent has run this playbook a hundred times against a hundred clueless marks. You’re next on this merry-go-round, and you’re here to lose.

Hey lil’ bitch

What’s up lil’ bitch

What lil’ bitch

What what lil’ bitch

It’s the fourth inning. 12 up, 12 down, all strikeouts. This is a perfectly-targeted attack on my ego.

I think I’m smart. I think I’m an excellent tactician when it comes to video games, my abilities forged in the fires of Madden ‘93, Perfect Dark, and Rainbow Six, but also informed by the dark arts of weird old DOS strategy games. Games like Warlords and Nobunaga’s Ambition that required mastery of troops and economies to conduct campaigns of great conquest. Games this kid is too young to have a clue about.

I also think I know a lot about baseball. I watch it constantly. Even in 2006, I’m poring through Baseball-Reference every day. I want to write for a living someday, and if it can ever somehow happen, it feels like baseball is my ticket in. I’m a professional baseball writer in training. I should know what an eephus pitch is.

I think I’m a pretty laid-back guy. I don’t get angry easily. I’m really easygoing. I get along well with people. At the tech-support call center I work at, my supervisor notes in my reviews that I’m very good at de-escalating, which is to say that when mad people call me, I’m good at helping them feel more understood and less mad.

All these things mean a lot to me. They’re the basis of my ego. Hey, look at that guy. You know, he doesn’t have his shit together at all and is actually kind of a doofus, but hey, he’s a smart guy who knows stuff and is good with people. That’s something.

All those pillars are shaking. I’m a shiftless bum who can’t hit a 55-MPH pitch to save my life because I don’t know anything about baseball, and on top of that, I’m being absolutely driven up the wall by a Video Game Casey Fossum and some random 12-year-old who’s outsmarting me every chance he gets.

He is way better than me at everything I thought I was good at. My self-esteem is being annihilated.

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

One thing that to this day makes me an absolute loser is that I take online gaming etiquette very seriously. I never abandon a match, no matter how badly I’m getting destroyed. Someone can say incredibly cutting things to me and I’ll say “Thanks!” and pretend I’m not mad, that this doesn’t matter to me. Kill ‘em with kindness, you know? I’m above this. I’m better than this.

When you’re 23 years old and nothing feels like it’s breaking the right way, if it’s even breaking any way at all, it’s a lot more difficult to feel that way. But I try, I really do. I refuse to abandon the match. I am determined to solve this puzzle. This can only last for so long. Even if I can’t win this game, I can at least light him up a little bit, proving to both of us that, yes, I figured him out.

What, lil’ bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Lil’ old bitch

What what, lil’ bitch

Imagine the experience of losing 50 consecutive rounds of rock-paper-scissors, and you might have a sense of what this is like. I’ve fouled off a handful of pitches, but I haven’t put a single ball into play. This kid is a genius, but it’s not really about that anymore, it’s about how fundamentally bad at this I am. Can I at least be okay at a video game? We’ve settled that I’m a stupid baby who doesn’t know anything and gets mad at things that don’t matter. Can I have this, at least? No.

I hope this kid thinks I’m someone his age. I hope it never occurs to him that he’s thoroughly embarrassing a grown man so badly that he’ll write about it a decade and a half later.

And I’d like Casey Fossum to know that for one day, on two televisions, he was a god.

Having surrendered every other claim I thought I had, my sense of honor is the last thing to go. Somewhere around the seventh inning, I disconnect. I don’t have time to navigate through the menus. I have run out of oxygen. I unplug the console from the wall. It was a tornado, for all that kid knows. I never play an online baseball game again.