#THERES STUFF AND THINGS HAPPENING (if you see my weeklies you know) I'M DOING MY BEST & LEARNING & THRIVING

[louroth]

last name reveal for IDREN//IDA + their moodboard character sheet

[angel---eater]

thinking about plural dirkhal again in terms of their sense of self and their loneliness and the ramifications of their loneliness and how that could be leading into ult!dirk's potential end game in hsbc,

dirk being permanently awake on derse and able to be active in both 'waking' and 'dreaming' states can SO EASILY be read as dissociation

very very similar to being on front while also keeping an eye on the headspace and what's happening inside it. and a handful of pages next is why i think he's dissociating

the text really speaks for itself at this point. but im also thinking.. okay, roxy and jake are in very similar, totally isolated and dangerous situations, could they be read as legit plural too? jake, yes. roxy, i dont think so

jake is very very in his own head anyway. boy kisses his posters and has imaginary fights with his best friend in his own brain about it both before and after BGD is a thing, and who knows how often or for how long he does this on the weekly. jake has weird brain shit going on anyway so its also very easy for us to see him as plural. and ill take a little side tangent to explain in brief why i think thats a thing to consider

theres very real reason to believe that along with needing to be predisposed to dissociation, there might be some brain chemical type neurodiversity more in line with stuff like autism/ADHD/ADD/etc* that also makes someone more predisposed to plurality. and i'm mentioning this specifically because if we read dirk+hal and jake as plural, then their plurality was 'created' by something other than extreme physical abuse. this should be a no-brainer but with the state of 'The Syscourse' rn i guess it should be stated that plurality can form from things other than CSA and other acts of violence. DID/OSDD+ are conditions falling under the CPTSD umbrella and oh boy do all the homestuck characters have CPTSD. prolonged stress can kill you if not addressed or treated, its very easy for me to believe folks when they say that no one physically harmed them, but that an unstable enviornment was 'enough' to cause their plurality. anything can traumatize or affect a small kid, especially if that kid is particularly skittish or delicate. complete and total isolation is MORE than enough for plurality to happen in my eyes, not to mention how jake lives in total fear of his surroundings. i think that if jake is also plural, which i do, he probably has a type of OSDD with one distinct introject (brain ghost dirk) compared to dirk and hals DID

there's also the added complication of jake's canonical brain damage, which, i mean. some people recover from brain injuries with entirely different tastes in food, like their pallete has literally been rewired. some people recover from brain damage and their personalities and sense of selves change DRASTICALLY**. some folks wake up from comas with the total loss of one or several senses. the brain is fucking weird and we still dont really know everything it can do, and plurality is especially underresearched, and poorly handled when people in the relevent fields DO try to research and study it

which then leaves us with roxy and whether or not theyd also be plural and they just... kind of doesn't show any of the signs to me? he isnt really shown to dissociate, they're not really in their own head like jake is. they overdrink to the point of blacking out seemingly often, as we see dirk and jane reference several times, and they do have strange dreams, but they're moreso dreambubble activity and their own latent void powers. other than that, roxy is alarmingly singlet-coded compared to the other kids who are portrayed with signs of plurality. of which there are many. even their own splinters are very isolated within themselves and not shown to be aware of each other compared to everyone else. they never really have any kind of Moment with a clone, either. which is why i think that, despite roxy sharing trauma with dirk, hal, and jake, that they're a singlet

but looping back to dirk and hal

we rlly do see dirkhal as an intersystem relationship gone very very wrong. they never got a chance to stabilize together. they took the choice of integration*** away from themselves, completely by accident. i fully believe that dirk had no idea what the consequences of creating the AR were. i mean how tf could he- in his 13 year old mind he was just making a cool program. he wanted to do it because he was interested in the process. he wanted to create an AI responsibly, even though he was on the fence about it. jake was the one who pep talked him into it, and callie only started telling her friends about godtier stuff on the day they started the game. he didnt know. and i mean

cmon man

his immediate Sounds kind of stupid. is straight up DID denial to me. 'if i dont percieve it, it isnt real' kind of shit, very literally. if you dont look too close, then your focus just slips away from what your brain doesnt want you to see yet. he was doing plural shit ALL DAY, including talking to himself AR his accidentally escaped alter, and then he outright describes DID in what are probably the only words he has to illustrate how he lives, and he says its stupid LMAO. boy be so for real.

this combined with his refusal and FEAR of acknowledging AR/Hal as a person smacks of pre-system-awareness denial to me. he's so close to true awareness, but something (someone?) in his brain is holding him back. maybe its another splinterself, maybe its an 'original' Hal, still in their system, just locked away under amnesia barriers and forced deeper by dirk's concious and subconsious fear of the accidental copy he made of him in the AR.

dirk and hal should have a good relationship. having a good relation with your headmates means survival, life, and growth for the entire system. canon compliant dirkhal is plural tragedy of some of the highest caliber ive ever come across. they should be together and they're horrified of it, but they're even more horrified of finding themselves ripped apart

and then there's Ult!Dirk, who IS fully, permanently system aware now, and is in the post-awareness SPIRAL. hes fucking tailspinning. he doesnt know how to handle it, and i dont blame him either. i would KILL for ult!dirk to get his own vriska hell arc, i'm really really hoping thats what happens because i HIGHLY doubt anyones gonna kill him. he wants a Just death by dave's sword way too much for the writers to give that to him hahaha. what vriskas arc is telling me is that HSBC is about developing yourself and unlocking your true potential

^^^ page 8006. just the entirety of page 8006. thank you once again davepeta, ultimate self master

dirk has hit some kind of ultimate self, but hes not himself yet. not like how davepeta is, and not like how terezi did it either. i bet you fuckin anything that if he's thrown into The Point, we're gonna see hal. we're gonna see ARquius. we havent seen ARquius in vriska's hell yet, and there should be at least 2 running around- one from the game over timeline, and the other from the diverting timeline that meat!john split off in the epilogues by using his retcon powers, the one who was siphoned into lil cal. ARquius should be here, i mean equius was vriska's ally and friend, and she had a direct hand in creating ARquius. she only heard stories of nana egbert from john when she was 13, and the nanas are there. ARquius should be there, i think theyre just saving him for dirk

*not those things themselves, although a lot of neurodivergent kids are abused for their neurodivergence. there is correlation but not bc simply being autistic makes you more likely to be plural

**again, im not saying that brain damage makes you plural or that plural folk have brain damage. thatd be dumb

***using the term 'integration' not as in any kind of fusion - much, MUCH less final fusion - moreso as settling into functional plurality together. working together as a team, sharing their life. integration done right can be ridiculously intimate even if no one in the system are romantically involved with each other

[actualbird]

Omg I just started playing tears of themesis and its a lot of fun! I like that you actually have to find the clues, and actually solve the crime I think that's interesting. Any tips for a newbie lol

I'm so excited especially for the fact that I'm going to understand all the Luke posts on my dash because I love him already XD

wAAHH, hello and welcome to tot!! i hope you have a fun time playing :D (and yes, ur taste is Exquisite, luke is SO GOOD,,,I LOVE HIM SM,,,,,)

and i guess off the top of my head, i do have some tips!! feel free to take whichever u need and discard the ones that dont spark joy!

gameplay tips

do the daily and weekly tasks!: these give rewards each day/week that will help you in card leveling, overall player leveling, and collecting s-chips. sometimes events happen which add new tasks to do for certain rewards so like, basically whenever you see an Exclamation Point Icon anywhere, check it out! theres gonna be stuff to do and rewards to get from it

level up your cards!: if im remembering my own experience starting out, i recall that the debate power increase through the main story was a little bit steep in the beginning jHVKSJHDF. i used to get on by just fine with the EXP from debates itself leveling cards, but that quickly didnt give my deck enough juice. level em up with oracles so u can smoothly go thru the main story :D

take ur time exploring not just the story but also just the sheer amount of other stuff going on in the game: i was overwhelmed when i started, and i started on this game's Release. there was Less Stuff. idk how it must be for ppl coming in now, when theres More Stuff omg. but it's chill, take ur time, theres a bunch of neat stuff to discover

-

story tips

(idk how intuitive/already obvious these might already be, but when i started out i had no idea how these types of games worked so it took me a while to realize there were MORE STORIES JHSDJFH so i'll mention these tips too, aka tips i wish i knew in august of 2021, HAHA)

read card stories/content: every card you have that is not an R card (so the SSR, SR, and MR), has either a 6 part story in them to read or 2 audio messages for you to listen to and they are Wonderful. dont sweat it tho if u dont have a card and u wanna know its content, by this point, nearly everything is recorded on youtube so u can easily watch what u dont have!

play the boys' personal stories!: aside from the main story (which are the cases and investigations) each nxx boy has personal stories u can find by going to Ur Phone In The Game -> Click On Guy Of Choice -> Lower Right Corner.

if ur interested in nxx team plots outside of the main story, check out past events and their plots on yt!: the event plots are a Treasure Trove of interesting case stories And full ensemble cast interactions. i love this game the best tbh when i see the whole team interacting with each other, so i adore event plots. sadly, nearly all of the events that are done cannot be accessed anymore to newcomers in the game itself, but they can still be watched on yt. buuut thats just nearly all of the events which leads me to my next tip that rlly isnt a tip but simply just my personal recommendation as an intense enjoyer of this game---

download and play through the Mysteries of the Lost Gold event: the Lost Gold event originally ran through september of 2021, but it's been made available permanently as downloadable content in the game no matter when you start playing!! i highly recommend this event. it's by far still my favorite event in this whole game (everything from interesting plot/case to fun gameplay to delicious characterization, I REALLY LOVE LOST GOLD OK!! THIS IS A LOST GOLD STAN ZONE!!)

anyhoo, this event can be accessed by going to X-NOTE Story -> lower and rightmost button Event -> upper and rightmost button Past -> download Mysteries of the Lost Gold

really, i cannot recommend lost gold enough ajhfvjkahfa this is the One Thing i hope all players can experience it's just...I REALLY ADORE IT OKAY!!!

-

i hope some of these tips can help!! and i hope you enjoy playing this game :D

if ever uve got more questions, pls dont hesitate to shoot another ask hehe. it takes me a while to respond sometimes but i am Always down to be a tot-enabler thru sharing any info i can OwO

(also: jahsvfkjHVKJH SCREAM, have u been enduring my kilometric length luke posts prior to this with no context?? IM SO SORRY AJHVFKJAHSFASF HES JUST....I LOVE THAT GUY...)

[reporterleroux]

"I miss him, y'know?"

Characters: ig!tommy, ig!tubbo, ig!ranboo (/p, best friends), ig!dream (/p, enemy), ig!awesamdude x ghosthybrid!reader

TW: Murder and it's kinda gory, blood, self isolation

A/N: WHY ARE THE ONLY IDEAS I GET SAD???

!SOME LANGUAGE!

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It's always been that little bit tougher for you since Tommy got sent to prison, and the fact that he was sharing a cell with Dream made it way harder than it needed to be. The house you built with him, Tubbo and Ranboo was constantly silent now, the house upon the hill you chose before any chaos begun. The view wasn't the same, it was an old city in ruins. The prison was the only sight out of the main window, so you constantly insisted to the boys the curtain stayed closed. You occasionally attempted to visit Tommy, but Sam would only say no. You always had to leave him a note, a note you would rant on, a note you wouldn't even know he ever got. That's why you never went there anymore, you knew the answer would always be the same, so you just wrote a note and sent it by post, or most the time, the boys would take it down for you. You couldn't even have it within your sights, let alone be there. You had nothing to do now Tommy was gone, nothing but mope around in your room all day, reminiscing on things you used to to together.

Sure, Tommy had been in the prison for a while, but this was the first time you never left the house, let alone your room, in just over a week. You would sit there all day just staring out of your window, which looked over the field you all used to spend your days in, only ever looking away to make some of your now rare appearances to the boys to get food, a drink or to go to the bathroom. The boys had enough, they needed to get you outside, and weren't taking no for an answer. They headed towards your room, Tubbo pushing the door open and leaning in, Ranboo hovering over him as he did so.

"Y/N?"

Tubbo asked, you turned around, smiling weakly towards them, but also feeling guilty for ditching them for the amount of time you did.

"Do you want to go out for a walk with us? We agreed that you needed it after you've been in the house for over a week."

You looked shocked, unaware of the time you'd been in your room, away from your best friends, time where you haven't sent a single note to Tommy. You broke down there and then.

"Woah, woah, you good?"

Ranboo asked as Tubbo rushed over to hug you. As much as Ranboo wished he could, all he was able to do was use words, as your tears would burn him, which you understood.

"I'm so so so sorry guys, I never realised how much time I isolated myself for. I'm so sorry."

You managed to get out between sobs as Tubbo hugged to tighter, Ranboo still not being able to hug you as well.

"Hey hey calm down, it's ok. You're with us now, and that's all that matters. Now get changed and we'll go out for a walk alright?"

Tubbo said, releasing from the hug and drying your eyes. You nodded as Ranboo came to hug you, now able to do it without burning, before they both left the room. It took a bit longer than usual for you to get ready, but you got ready none the less. You grabbed a few things like your sword and some food before ghosting through your door and meeting the boys at the front of the house, ready to leave. They smiled softly at you before you slipped on your shoes and left with them.

The views and nostalgia wasn't pretty for you, but aslong as you were with your 2 best friends, it didn't matter. You decided to relax for a bit on the bench. Everyone was silent until you sighed.

"I miss him, y'know. Yeah, he's just in prison and stuff, but I still miss him. The house just doesn't feel right without him."

The other boys hummed in agreement, listening to every word you said, as you unconsciously rambled on about Tommy. You sat in silence for a bit after that, you looking over your now destroyed home, but being able to see the ghosts of everything, the complete buildings, the ghosts of your past selves being teenagers and having the time of your lifes. It wasn't long before you felt something on your forearm. You rolled up your sleeve, and threw your hand up towards your mouth on the brim of tears as you read what it said.

"TommyInnit WAS SLAIN BY Dream"

"No, theres- no..."

The boys looked confused, before seeing your forearm.

"That green bastard, I'll punch his teeth in."

You said as you stood up and grabbed your sword.

"Y/N no. He's too strong, he's not worth it."

Ranboo said concerned as he grabbed your wrist to stop you. You pulled it out of his grasp before jumping off the small cliff infront of you, thankfully not taking any damage due to your hybrid abilities. You could hear the boys calling out and running after you, but you didn't stop. You ran as quickly as you could towards the prison, ghosting through the walls before you were met with Sam.

"Oh, Y/N! Are you ok?"

Sam asked. You looked at him deadass in response before showing him your forearm. He stood in shock, but also knew what you were going to do. As you tried to run forward, he grabbed you by your arms, holding you back.

"Sam! Let go of me!"

You shouted angrily at him. When he wouldn't let go, you just ghosted through him and all the security and ran straight through the lava, knowing it wouldn't damage you, before being confronted by the worst scene you could ever imagine. Tommy's dead body, bedding out in the corner, Dream in the opposite corner, knuckled dripping with blood. Tommy's blood.

"You sick son of a bitch! Why did you do that?"

You questioned. Dream just sent you a smirk, before shrugging like nothing ever happened.

"I took your first 2 lives. Im not afraid to take your last."

You said as you shoved him down into the corner he was standing in, tip of your sword right by his heart. You knew enough to know that it would instantly kill him as soon as you out more force on it. Dream still had that smirk on his face.

"Was his fault really. Y'know, he was always just using you three. Never really liked any of you. That what he told me."

You had enough of this. He was trying to be manipulative with you. He knew if you fell for it he could save his own life. That's not what you wanted.

"Come on kid, join me instead, it'll be better for you. No need to say no."

You pretended to think about it for a second, before saying

"Suck it, green boy."

And you put more pressure on your sword, plunging it through him, and kept it there before you felt the similar tingle on your arm.

"DREAM was slain by Y/N"

You pulled the sword out of his chest, and held it by your side, suddenly turning your head towards Tommy's dead body, making sure anyone that walked in could see what you did to Dream, and you were the one who did it. You zoned out, remembering everything Tommy, Tubbo and Ranboo did together. Tubbo and Ranboo. How would they feel about what you just did? How about Tommy? You were still zoned out as the lava started dropping down, Sam, Tubbo and Ranboo on the other side. They were all in shock of the scene before them. You were in front of Dreams body, sword dripping with his blood, looking at Tommy.

"Y-Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality, and whipped your head around. Oh no.

"R-ranboo, Sam, T-tubbo, I'm sorry, I had to, he killed him, I had to."

You stumbles on your sentences, as they all looked at you shocked. Sam was just frozen in place, the 3 of you noticed that, so the boys took the opportunity to reach in, grab you and get out of there. Everything was very different now.

It had been roughly a week since the prison events, and alot of people either hated you, or liked you, there was no inbetween. You thought everyone would leave you, but Ranboo and Tubbo stuck by your side the entire time. You visited Tommy's grave weekly, and left all his possessions alone. That was until the boys went out, and you felt lonely, so you went to go sit in Tommy's room.

"T-tommy?"

There was a ghost of the boy you once we're best friends with, sitting in the bed.

"Tommy? Oh, right, you're Y/N, right? My best friend from when I was alive? Sorry, I go by GhostInnit now."

You didn't care, you were just happy you could see him, and instantly jumped into him for a hug. You didn't know if it was your hybrid abilities that could make you see him, or if he was visible to everyone in general, but that didn't matter. You were just happy he was there.

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A/N: podiddlyboingodawidaho

[llazyneiph]

I hate my body but it is because I'm fat, not because I'm trans. I can't even begin to imagine the shit y'all go through with body dysphoria and whatnot. And the danger from phobics...y'all are fucking the strongest people I have ever seen. Ppl are always saying how strong I am for fighting my mental illnesses but damn, trans people are the strongest tbh. Esp ones of color, fuck. Y'all get so much hate idk how you survive. But to all my trans bros and sis, keep fighting you are valid and ily.

im gonna answer this is in two separate parts because I don’t want to just ignore what you said at the start.

i understand the feelings of hating yourself for something you feel like you can’t change, like every time you attempt to start your journey something around you sabotages you. Whether that's being surrounded by unhealthy options or family members that don't support you or even just your own mental health.And I ain’t even talking from a trans perspective, i’m saying this as someone who has successfully lost weight and kept it off. Now of course I don’t know your personal situation, but the way you worded it made it sound like you do want to lose weight. The only thing I found works for me is to just dive balls deep into it straight away. No ‘oh but I ate microwaved kfc chips for breakfast this morning (me lmao)’, or ‘ill start on Monday’. None of that shit, just start. Pairing that with legitimately getting rid of all the stuff around you that you know you will want to eat and also having some form of accountability is the way to go. Set yourself up for success, not failure. And don’t make your goal, ‘i want to be skinny in 6 months’ because that's not going to happen. Set weekly/monthly goals, its amazing to actually meet a goal because its achievable and then you don't want to fck that up so you keep going.  I actually lose weight because I went low carb, only allowed myself 20-25g of carbs a day and I ended up stickin to it because I didn’t wanna mess up my streak lmao. But, weight loss talk aside, your body is a wonderful thing that allows you to experience life. Putting yourself down because you aren’t what you think is the ‘ideal body’ or whatever is just cruel to yourself. Would you let someone else put themselves down or would you try to help them? Why should you not treat yourself the same way you would treat others? Learning to accept and enjoy this incredible thing you’ve been given isnt something that happens over night nor is it easy, theres always gonna be some imperfection that you see because you’re human and it’s what we do. At the end of the day, strive for health. Start the journey when you’re ready to, if you take baby steps then one day you’re gonna look back and realize you can’t even see the place you started from anymore.

As for the other stuff you talked about, every collective is strongest as a group so thats why I think it’s so important to stick together. Especially those of us who are lucky enough to be in stable homes, safer countries, ect. We need to be there for and give a voice to those who need it most, like transpeople of colour, like the people who cant come out because of safety, or like the people who cant access medical stuff. And that definitely includes allowing cishet allies in to support us. I see a lot of LGBTQ+ people just immediately write off a cishet person and say they’re ‘not allowed’ to be an ally. how tf are we supposed to grow stronger as a community when we shut everyone else out? Do we expect cishet people to just learn everything from google and then keep their mouths closed when we talk?a thousand voices are louder than a hundred, and those voices should be made up of both LGBTQ+ AND allies. but yes, transpeople do have to be strong for themselves and I am very proud of my community. but not only that, you are very strong for living with mental illness. takes a goddamn warrior to live with that.

anyway, sorry for going off on a tangent, you ever need to talk, my DM’s are open.

[harryisntstraight]

Medication anon is back- I was just wondering what made you want to take them (that you feel like death can't come soon enough is given but why that over anything else? assuming you don't do therapy too, idk?) and if you can feel any change at all? I'm terrified of giving it a go because I feel like I'm making up the shit in my head despite the fact that I would literally rather drill a hole through my brain than participate in society so I don't deserve to try but also, 1

I’m afraid that it’ll cause some weird ass reactions and take a while to settle which would impede my ability to take exams in a couple of months? (As though I’m in any state to take them now, lmao) Am I just crazy? So yeah, I feel like I’m making things up so maybe I should just suck it and make Lifestyle Changes but also… I’m glued to my bed so idk. I’m sorry I’m rambling, it doesn’t make much sense but I’m just a messy ball of hyper/ sad feelz and I want the world to stop so I can get off 

hiiii! tbh a lot of what youre saying i can really relate to. i spent a loooong time thinking i was faking or being overdramatic or just lazy and just trying to cope by myself and pretend that it wasnt really happening. as for deciding to take medication its kind of a long story, i first starting going to therapy when i was 18 because my mum kind of picked up that something wasnt right and that i needed help and booked me a doctors appointment where they offered me medication but i didnt want to take it basically for all the reasons you’ve explained in this ask. so eventually my mum decided to pay for me to get private therapy bc the waiting list to get it on the nhs was a year and a half long. so i went to therapy for like ?? 3 or 4 months before i moved to london for uni and then i stopped going bc i couldnt afford to pay for it anymore and i was like. u know what. i’m fine!!! i dont need therapy!! i’m an adult!! (spoiler: i was not fine) long story short a couple months ago i decided that i was really struggling and that i needed to see a doctor and get my shit together and i was honestly really up for taking medication seeing as therapy alone honestly just didn’t feel it had helped me at all. like to me my illness is so physical? so even though i had learnt all these coping mechanisms at therapy i just felt like my brain was physically incapable of performing them. like idk the only way i can explain it is that its like i had a broken leg and my therapist was telling me i needed to get from a to b but nobody had given me crutches or a wheelchair.

 but anyway YEAH this is such a ramble but i just felt like therapy alone wasnt enough and that i needed a physical aid, which i guess i saw as medication. my doctor has me on a waiting list to start therapy again and my first session is next week and i think pretty much any doctor will recommend that if ur going to take medication, that you do therapy as well so you can tackle ur symptoms from all angles. honestly i feel like theres such a stigma around taking medication for mental health issues that really shouldnt be there, in my experience its nowhere near as scary or life altering as people assume that it is. obviously it depends on what specific medication u take, but most antidepressants take 6 weeks minimum to have a proper affect, so its not like u take one and theres this huge reaction and u become a different person or an emotionless zombie, yknow? for me i did have some initial side effects, but they were pretty minor. stuff like feeling a bit sick, a bit jittery, and ironically having heightened anxiety. but that all went away after a week maximum. 

i think medication is different for everyone and although not everyone will benefit from it, i feel like if you think its a possibility for you, you should definitely ask your doctor about it and decide together whether its a good choice or not. they can start you out on a low dosage and if you have bad side effects or just change your mind about taking it then your doctor can help u to come off it safely. like, i have weekly doctors appointments to talk about my progress and my meds, its not like they just give u some tablets and throw you in at the deep end yknow? honestly, theres no shame in taking meds and mental health is just as important as physical health and everyone deserves a chance to get better and not suffer in silence and just ‘suck it up.’ meds are there to help you, theyre arent this yknow, super scary pill thats gonna turn u crazier than you already feel. from what youve said i’d really advise you to just make an appointment with ur doctor and tell them how ur feeling and that youve thought about medication and see where it goes from there. sorry this is so long and rambly omg but like.. i care a lot asjfhsdhf. i hope this helped a lil bit and feel free to ask if ur curious about anything else xxx 

[fluffi]

i think it was because god's menu was released around the same bp and svt made their comebacks. same thoughts tho on gm > bd and i was also glad that bd got the wins gm didn't. and same with the streaming mvs while studying : ] ahh, the easily distracted people we are. (reading cut and litol font bc poor ppl who see this on the dash TT)

i've heard chinese ballads (usually osts of films and from a chinese friend) and their songs really tend to tug on my heartstrings. i hope sm gives shotaro more stuff to do soon :[ with some of the units being active and sungchan being an mc on a weekly show, it makes me wonder what he's doing. do you think nct will form a new subunit?

no, i'm not lactose intolerant so it really took me by surprise. it was a one-time thing. hopefully it doesn't happen again. i can't really say i'm a big fan of ice cream but it's good occasionally yk as a treat to yourself. and ahhh, i miss drinking smoothies. my favorite stall has been closed for nearly two years now, idk if they ever re-opened since our city mall burned down :[

i think it's an nct thing? it's why i never get tired of them bc they're always active in a way. you should've seen how things went down last year! march 127 album, april dream mini-album, may 127 repackage, june wayv album and the whole nct 2020 thing. it was a wild year. about the track, i listened to it once and forgot about it. might give it a few more listens but it might not grow on me at all. yes! wasn't a big fan of hot sauce at first too bc i thought the intro was weird (not jaemin's part, like the first thing that plays). and yes, that hook loops in my head 24/7. i even made it my instagram bio.

stray kids world domination indeed! and i agree that their performances were really impressive (specially the deadpool one, best one yet) but sometimes i would fancy ateez' more. i didn't watch kingdom too bc it stressed me out as a multi. always caught between being happy for one group and being sad for the others. and atz and tbz! you're still getting into nct and you're thinking of adding 19 more boys! judging from what i know your taste in music is, i think you'll like tbz's music better since there are a lot more soft songs there than in atz. but do give both discographies a listen in the future!

oh izone! i've only heard of them at music shows and dance choreo compilations bc of them being in sync. they're really satisfying to watch! i thought their title tracks were catchy as well! quite unfortunate that i never got into them really. but again, i dont think i can handle stanning temporary groups.

i'm starting to see a pattern in your biases :D i wouldn't be too surprised if you'll be drawn to jeno at some point in your dream venture. dream is soooo easy to love so if you really end up ulting them, i would understand why. and also, YES PLEASE WRITE FOR DREAM AND TAG ME IF YOU WILL. THANK YOU ><

thank you! :c don't get your hopes up tho, the masterlist must've been interesting to browse but are the fics truly worth it? XD i think not. since you already know koe, i'm reccing users @/rouiyan, @/nsheetee and @/loonacitys. i don't have that much fluff in my ficrecs blog. i think, i've heard of lvdsc before (maybe even read a fic or two) but i can't find their blog now. be careful in privating your works, you might end up losing them forever if you don't keep track of their links...(?) that's what happened to the works that i privated :/ take me with you if you move blogs ;n;

seungmin frequently left updates abt what he was doing, left good nights and good mornings, the occasional i miss you. he called fans 'baby' once. not sure if it was a mistranslation, or really just a one-time endearment. other than that, nothing beyond the usual. seung vlives always make me cry ;n; he always look so adorable and precious. also the gif, the fic was more on fake head-butting really but yes you could say it was also a fake nose boop bc it sounds cuter. i'll make sure to tag you on future seung content on the dash. (time to officially claim him as your ult, yes. dont make him secret anymore :3)

sorry it took me a while. tumblr went batshit. the ' werkl;' stopped working midway and i got busy with school yesterday. also haechan birth today and i'm so emo abt it. it's literally just a boy turning 21.

little font and cut saga lets go!!

(just kidding, i cant do little font typing for long periods of time, makes my eyes go beserk haha.)

true true, im afraid for txt on music shows now because theyre going against some big names (literally bts like whatj jsdf what was hybe thinking). yeah, streaming mvs while studying aka watching mvs on loop lmao. i still want to stream skzs final kingdom performance on instinct but i remember that theyve already won!! hehe

ah chinese ballads always make me emo, i like to scream out lyrics to the songs at the top of my lungs and sit there on the verge of tears. its a cultural thing maybe *sobs*. ooh, what show is sungchan mc-ing in? ill check it out. i thought sm would make nct japan for sungtaro (i heard sungchan speaks japanese) so it was a shocker when they made...nct hollywood lmao. given the current circumstances we're probably not going to get a new subunit anytime soon :( hopefully taro will have stuff to showcase during that period of time.

burned down?? oh my, what happened to your mall? that sounds terrifying. i remember when the front of my school caught on fire and we were all ushered out but we thought it was a drill and didnt find out till years later lmao.

oh true, since theyre such a big pack too. constant comebacks and promotions haha, nctzens never catch a break with 23 members. i listened to the new track again (ive forgotten the name already) but i cant- i cant do it. its just not my style hhh. i rewatched the mv for the godly visuals though. i dont know if youre talking about that 'bibididibibidiododo' part by that female morphed voice at the beginning of the song, because i wasnt a fan of that too. it grew on me though.

same, actually! im not an atiny and dont stan any other group in the show besides skz but i watched each groups performance and ranked them haha. at times ateez would rank over skz, it was wild. also yeah, my other multi friend was freaking out about kingdom and ended up abandoning the show because she was so scared of the fanwars and having to deal with her 'conflicting feelings'. about the stanning thing, in my defense, i have a list of groups i want to stan and ive recently added tbz and atz. the list is long, i have a long way to go! also yeah, i dont prefer ateez's songs and i have a bunch of tbz title tracks in my playlist but if i approach their discography like i did with nct then i think i would like at least five songs.

izone are my queens. theres a reason why theyre the only girl group who made it to my ult list haha! super talented and filled with variety and visuals, a perfectly concocted group (literally, sobs in pd48 scandal). ah, temporary groups. yeah i cried about their disbandment for like 3 days straight, it was bad.

a pATTERN?? INTERESTING. DO ELABORATE. jeno, oh my gosh hes like bang chan. an intimidating-looking bear whos actually filled with love and softness on the inside. im currently having a jaemin run though, his make a wish fancam is doing some wacky things. also yeah, dream is really easy to love. i fell for them so hard, theyre all talented and cute and adorable and the team ambiance is so nice. really rising up my stan list now. i mightt write for dream! ill have to see, hehe.

personally i think the fics are going to be worth it. i can feel it in my boOOnes. ooh, recommendations! fun :D ill check them (and yours) out after i finish this 30k jisung fic. ive been trying to finish it since yesterday but i keep getting sidetracked. also, i made a mistake. its luvdsc with a 'u', maybe thats why you couldnt find it? ahh. thank you for the privating tip though! will keep in mind. and of course ill take you with me if/when i move blogs. we're friends now! <3

SEUNGMIN CALLED STAYS 'BABY'???!!@)(@#*()! I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE ASKDFJDF. im exciting for the fake nose boop drabble!! i love soft couple moments hehe. also yeah maybe its time to make him my ult...hes going to have to compete against jake my beloved ope.

dont worry about being 'late' or anything! we all have our own stuff to do. also yeah tumblr is weird asf sometimes. if you havent realized i typically answer longer asks around the same time everyday, when i get to sit in front of my computer and pull out my clickity-clackity keyboard. super relaxing.

AND YES HYUCKIE DAY!!! HES SO ADORABLE HONESTLY. im in love with all seven members of dream, my fic rec blog is currently filled with fics for them haha.