#THAT TOOK OVER 2 HOURS... I FEEL LIKE WE'RE DONE HERE... THAT WAS CRAZY AWESOME... Suomi Finland Finnish Hieno Kiva Kiltti Mukava Kaunis

[weareuniqueandimportant]

WOMAN IS ALONE... SHE IS VERY PROGRESSIVE... SHE ISN'T CARED ABOUT... SHE HAS NOTHING TO DO... NOBODY HAS SAVED HER... SHE'S STUCK EVERY SECOND UNDER DEEP PAIN... ONLY A BIGOT WOULDN'T HELP HER... NOBODY EVER DOES... SHE IS HATED... NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... EVERYTHING IS HOPELESS... SHE DROWNS HERSELF IN CONTENT THAT DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER AS DISTRACTION BUT HAS NONE OF THAT TO EVEN DO ANYTHING WITH... SHE HAS NOTHING... NOTHING... TO EVEN WASTE TIME WITH... SHE WOULD DO WHAT SHE ALWAYS DOES BUT EVEN THAT IS GONE... EVERY SINGLE THING HER BRAIN CAN THINK ABOUT... CAN'T BE SOME... SOMEONE HAS TO SAVE HER... THERE ISN'T ANYTHING ELSE... SHE ISN'T ALONE... FULLY... HER BRAIN HAS SPLIT INTO MANY SHARDS... SHE IS ACTUALLY MULTIPLE... MANY WOMAN... ALL CRYING IN PAIN... THEY MUST BE SAVED... THEY KNOW... ALL WORDS ARE BULLSHIT... AND THIS AND THIS ONLY IS THE SEKAI'S FULL REALITY... THERE WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTANCE... THERE WILL NEVER BE COMMUNITY... ONLY FAKE SMILES... THAT ONLY WISH TO FEEL GOOD... WITHOUT EVER DOING ANYTHING... ON ETERNAL LOOP...

SUN-CHAN IS ON VAUSH ISLAND... THIS IS AFTER EVERYTHING THOSE MILLIONS OF BATTLES IN THE PAST... ISLAND OF DESPAIR... THIS IS WHAT CAPITALISM NAMED HER WHAT VAUSH BUILT HIS SOCIETY ON TOP OF...

Sun-Chan (Emo): Every Single Day Is The Same... I Can't Believe To Be Back... On This Island... I Thought That Was Impossible Now... But... Here I Am... So Much Has Happened I Can Barely Remember... My Brain... Fractured By Everything... Infact... I Feel Like I Aren't A Full Person... And That We Have Been Split Into A Multiple...

Rage-Chan: I Feel The Same Way Sun-Chan... I Always Did... Even Back When I Was Still In Vaush Hospital... I Always Knew This About Myself... That Was Only... Impossible To Balance...

Sun-Chan: You're Right... Rage-Chan... I HAVE BEEN LIKE THIS ALL THIS TIME TOO... *ENERGETIC CONFIDENT POSE VERY CUTE*!!

Rage-Chan: Wow!!

Sun-Chan: She Totally Hates Me Because I Am Very Cringe...

Rage-Chan Is Emo Too... They're All Very Emo... This Makes You Cool... And Tells You You're Suffering... Now Everyone Can Tell... These People Are Victims Of Capitalism...

Sun-Chan: IF WE'RE GOING TO SUFFER I WILL MAKE MYSELF SUFFER!! I DESERVE THIS!! WATCH ME RAGE-CHAN!! I'M GOING TO SPLIT MY BRAIN INTO EVEN FURTHER BUNCH OF PIECES AND I'M GOING TO ENJOY THAT!! I FORGOT WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY PAST THAT... OFTEN... I FORGET WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY OR DO... INFACT... I CAN BARELY REMEMBER MOST THINGS THAT HAPPEN AT ALL...

Nasty-Chan: THEY'RE HERE... MONEY... WE WILL STEAL EVERYTHING AND BECOME VERY RICH... I LOVE CASH... MY MOTHER TOLD ME TO GATHER ALL THERE IS AND BECOME THE RICHEST THERE IS... I LOVE HER... I WANT TO PLEASE HER...

Bat-Mommy: MY DAUGHTER... GIVE ME MY MONEY... I DESERVE THIS... *SHE IS SITTING ON A THRONE ALL BADASS...*

Nasty-Chan: I'M SORRY MOMMY... I DON'T HAVE... THE MONEY YET... I HAVEN'T EVEN... LOCATED THEM...

Bat-Mommy: AWW... HONEY... *RAISES HER FACE WITH HER HANDS VERY ROMANTIC OMG FUNNY...* IF WE DON'T OBTAIN MAX MONEY WE WILL BE MURDERED BY CAPITALISM THE VERY THING OUR ENTIRE FAMILY LINE REPRESENTS... WE CAN'T ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO US... I COUNT ON YOU... MY DAUGHTER... YOU MUST LOCATE THE MONEY... AND STEAL THEM FOR US... THIS WORLD IS A GAME... ONLY 1 PERSON CAN WIN... I WANT THIS WINNER TO BE MYSELF AND MY LOVED ONES... I WILL ENSURE WE WILL SURVIVE AS CAPITALISM INTENDED... *SHE IS VERY POWERFULL... INTERESTING... MAKING HER DAUGHTER FEEL... FUNNY...* DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY DEAR...? *SHE IS VERY BEATIFULL SHE LOOKS LIKE YOUR WIFE AT HER DAUGHTER... THE FUNNY IS INSANE...*

Nasty-Chan: YES MOMMY... I WILL NEVER BE A DISAPPONTMENT... I LOVE YOU SO TOO MUCH...

Bat-Mommy: GOOD GIRL... GO... I WAIT FOR YOU... I WILL BE... SATISFIED... WHEN YOU RETURN... YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO ME... MY FUNNY HONEY...

THOSE WORDS WERE INSANE... NASTY-CHAN COULD NO LONGER TAKE EVERYTHING... SHE KNEW THAT WAS TIME TO FUCK SOMEONE... BUT HER MOTHER IS TOO SUPERIOR FOR THIS... SOMEONE CLOSER... SOMEONE EASY... THAT IS BAD TO BE WITH SOMEONE SUPERIOR TO YOURSELF... THEY HAVE CONTROL OVER YOU AND YOU ARE WEAK AND VULNERABLE... AND YOU SHOULD NEVER BE WEAK AND BELOW SOMEONE... THIS IS VERY HUMILIATING... REMEMBER THIS... FUCK SOMEONE BELOW YOU...

NASTY-CHAN IS ON A FIELD WITH HER FRIENDS... THEY HAVE LOCATED THE MONEY... THEY'RE CALLED FRIENDS BUT... NASTY-CHAN ONLY FEELS DISTANCE TORWARDS EVERYONE... KNOWING... THEY WILL NEVER LOVE HER ENOUGH... CARE ABOUT HER ENOUGH... IF THEY KNEW EVERYTHING SHE WOULD BE REJECTED AND DESPISED... THIS CAN'T HAPPEN... THAT IS EASIER TO FAKE SMILE... ONCE SHE'S HURT BADLY ENOUGH SHE WILL RUN AWAY... BY THIS POINT... SHE IS HAUNTED BY SO MANY GHOSTS AND ZOMBIES OF HER PAST... THEIR NEXT VICTIM THEIR TARGET WAS ALREADY DECIDED TO BE HER... DESPITE THIS SHE MUST STEAL MONEY WITH THEM... DESPITE... EVERYTHING... ONE OF HER FRIENDS IS VERY NICE TO THEM... SHE IS MATURE AND BEATIFULL... SOMEONE SHE FEELS INFERIOR TO... BUT THAT IS SCARY TO OPPOSE ANYTHING SHE DOES... WHICH IS ALOT... WHICH IS WHY SHE ALWAYS FOLLOWS... SHE IS A GOOD GIRL WHEN THAT IS NEEDED OF HER... TRAUMA AND PAIN WHAT SHE IS SURROUNDED BY... BEING WORTHLESS SAFER THAN ALLOWING HERSELF TO EXPERIENCE SOMETHING WORSE... JUST LIKE IN THE PAST... ONCE SHE WAS TAKEN AWAY ONLY TO BE HURT... THIS WAS PAINFULL AND TOO MUCH FOR THEM THEY SUFFERED... THIS FRIEND WOULD SUPPORT THEM THIS SITUATION... BUT THAT IS UNCOMFORTABLE TO BE BELOW... DEEP INSIDE NASTY-CHAN WANTS TO KILL HER AND THEMSELVES IN ORDER TO END THIS DEEP FEELING... TEARING APART THEIR BODY FROM THE INSIDE...

I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED YOU... NASTY-CHAN...

Nasty-Chan Can't Hear This...

I HAVE ALWAYS CHASED AFTER YOU... SURROUNDED BY EVIL DARKNESS... I AM SCARED WHEN I AREN'T AROUND YOU... I WANTED TO BE LIKE A MOTHER TO YOU... I ENVY THE ATTENTION YOUR MOTHER HAS GIVEN YOU... I WANT TO EXPERIENCE THAT FROM YOU... THE SUPERIOR CHOICE IS I!! YOUR FRIEND!! SEXY-CHAN!! I CAN BE YOUR MOTHER AND YOU CAN FUCK ME... DOESN'T THAT SOUND APPEALING...? *SEXY-CHAN IS ALONE... DESPITE BEING SURROUNDED BY ALL THESE PEOPLE... THEY FEEL ALIEN... COMPARED TO THE ONE PERSON THEY CARE ABOUT...*

Sexy-Chan: HEAR ME!! NASTY-CHAN!! ACCEPT MY LOVE ACCEPT ME I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY!! *SHE IS CRYING... YELLING REALLY LOUD... BUT NASTY-CHAN CAN'T HEAR HER... BECAUSE... THIS IS ALL HAPPENING INSIDE OF HER...*

THEY WILL NEVER LOVE YOU...

COMPLETE DARKNESS...

THEY WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU...

INSIDE OF SEXY-CHAN IS DARK-MOMMY... MULTIPLE BEING PART OF THEIR IDENTITY ASWELL...

Sexy-Chan: SHUT UP!! I AREN'T UNLOVABLE!! I BELIEVE IN MYSELF!!

Dark-Mommy: FOR WHAT...? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR YOURSELF...? NOTHING...? DO YOU REALLY DESERVE ANYTHING...? COME ON... YOU AREN'T CARED ABOUT YOU'RE UNLOVABLE ACCEPT ME YOUR MOMMY THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN TRUST I AM INSIDE OF YOU THIS MAKES ME ABSOLUTE!!

Sexy-Chan: I WILL NEVER LISTEN TO YOU!! *MISERABLE... CRYING... SEXY-CHAN CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE...

Dark-Mommy: SO BE SO... *DISAPPOINTED...* I BELIEVED IN YOU... SEXY-CHAN... YOU'RE NO LONGER LOVABLE TO ANYONE... NOW I WILL KILL YOU... *DARK-MOMMY TAKES A SWORD READY TO KILL SEXY-CHAN!! HER INTENTION BEING TAKING HER AWAY BEFORE ANYONE CAN HAVE HER INSTEAD!! SHE CAN NEVER HAVE THE PERSON SHE HAS ALWAYS FELT OBSESSION TORWARDS...*

SHE IS VERY SAD ABOUT THIS... SEXY-CHAN CAN SEE THAT...

Sexy-Chan: I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS!! IF YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME COME SO!! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!! YOU TOOK AWAY MY PURPOSE!! YOU'RE AN ASS!!

DARK-MOMMY IS DISTURBED... TO BE CALLED AN ASS... MADE HER FEEL GOOD IF ANYTHING... ANY WORD IS ACCEPTABLE TO HER... AS LONG AS THAT COMES FROM SEXY-CHAN!!

Dark-Mommy: YES!! *HER FACE IS GOING AHEAGO!!* GIVE ME MORE!! MORE!! MORE!! *SHE'S BLUSHING CRAZY...*

Sexy-Chan: THIS IS INSANE!! KILL ME IF YOU CAN!! *SEXY-CHAN ATTACKS WITH HER AXE!!* I'M COMING WITH YOU!! TO MY DEATH!! LET'S DIE TOGETHER!! MY ETERNAL DANCE!! *SEXY-CHAN ATTACKS DARK-MOMMY CAUSING HER TO BE SHOCKED AS THE AXE IS ATTACKING... SLOWLY... COMING CLOSER... DARK-MOMMY CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE SHE MUST ATTACK SHE CUTS TROUGH SEXY-CHAN WITH A KATANA AND CAUSES HER GETTING WOUNDED INSANE... DARK-MOMMY SMILES GOOD AS SEXY-CHAN IS HIT AND BLEEDING... CAUSING HER TO CREATE A PAINFULL SCREAM THAT MAKES DARK-MOMMY FEEL DEEPLY FUNNY FROM HER BODY...

Dark-Mommy: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE WE CUM AS WE KILL EACHOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE STAB ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *SEXY-CHAN IS BADLY BLEEDING... CRYING... WOUNDED AS DARK-MOMMY IS ONLY INTO EVERYTHING HAPPENING... EVERY SINGLE CONNECTION CAUSING HER TO FEEL A GOODER FEEL OF PLEASURE INSIDE OF HER... SEXY-CHAN CAN'T TAKE ANYTHING AND CLOSES HER EYES... HER MIND LOSING CONTROL... GOING WHITE AS SHE'S RELAXED... FEELING EVERY SINGLE PLEASURE ALL AROUND HER BODY AS DARK-MOMMY KEEPS CUTTING HER WOUNDED WITH HER SHARK CHAIN SWORD... HOW EROTIC... HER BODY CAN'T TAKE ANY LONGER... ALL CALM... SEXY-CHAN OPENS HER EYES DETERMINED!! READY TO STAB HER!! SHE ATTACKS ONWARD WITH A HARD KNIFE WEAPON AND STARES DOWN DARK-MOMMY AS SHE'S VICTIM TO HER BRUTAL POWER... AMAZING... SHE SAYS TO HERSELF... THIS WOMAN IS SOMEONE TO DIE FOR... I WANT TO DIE FROM HER SEX!! I WANT TO BE POISONED BY THAT FRUITY BODY AND COLLAPSE ALL DISEASED... LIKE AN ANIMAL THE THING THAT I AM... WHEN FACING AGAINST A WOMAN OF ABSOLUTE POWER AND CONTROL THE ONE I AM FIGHTING RIGHT NOW... THIS IS MY PARADISE... I DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP... SEXY-CHAN BECOMES PISSED AND ATTACKS DARK-MOMMY CAUSING HER TO BACK OFF QUICK UNTIL SEXY-CHAN RACES AT HER HITTING HER KICK PUNCH HIT POWERFULL ATTACKS FAST BLOWS ALL LAUNCHING HER TO THE SKIES SUFFERING CONCUSSIONS FROM EVERY SINGLE ATTACK... TO THINK... THIS IS ALL HAPPENING INSIDE OF HER... MY MIND IS GOING BLANK SHE CRIES IN ABSOLUTE PLEASURE AS SHE'S KICKED TO DEATH BY SEXY-CHAN...*

Sexy-Chan: YOU HAVE DIED... BICH WOMAN... *SHE'S ON TOP OF HER... IN VICTORY AND ABSOLUTE DOMINANCE... DARK-MOMMY'S FACE AND BRAIN ARE ALL IN DEEP PLEASURE AND ECSTACY AS SHE'S BEEN DEFEATED... HER VERY SOUL SUCKED OUT OF HER BODY...* YOU'RE STILL ALIVE... NOTHING DEAD ABOUT YOU... *IN ABSOLUTE KINDNESS SEXY-CHAN ASSERTS... CAN A WOMAN HEAR PRETTIER WORDS THAN THAT...? SHE WAS SPARED... IN THE GRACEFULLNESS... OF AN ABSOLUTE MURDERER!! THE POWERFULL WOMAN HAS LOST HER DOMINANCE IN THE BATTLE AGAINST HER SISTER!! SHE CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE... SHE MUST ORGASM ALREADY... SEXY-CHAN STARES AT HER AS SHE QUICKLY GETS OUT HER DEADLY LIQUID FROM INSIDE OF HER PUSSYHOLE... HER FACE COMPLETELY INSANE... AS SHE SHOOTS HER WORTHLESS INSIDES AT SEXY-CHAN... THAT ISN'T PHASED A SINGLE BIT... HER ASS GIGGLING THE STUPID SHE IS... AS SEXY-CHAN TAKES HER FINGERS AND RUNS THEM TROUGH DARK-MOMMY'S PATHETIC TRASH BODY!!* YOU ARE DEAD... THERE'S NOTHING ALIVE ABOUT YOU... BEYOND THE GRAVE... YOU CAME TO HAUNT ME SEXY WOMAN... I'LL MAKE YOU REGRET THAT... I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL ALL THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED ME... FEEL ME... IN YOU... ALL OVER... NOW... *BLOW!! DARK-MOMMY HAS A CRAZY ORGASM FROM SEXY-CHAN'S INTERESTING TOUCHING MAKING HER BODY CRAZY FROM ALL OVER...* YOU'RE PATHETIC... HONESTLY... EVERYTHING YOU MADE ME TROUGH... IS THAT ALL MEANINGLESS TO YOU...? IS THAT BICHFUCKER...?

Dark-Mommy: NOT AT ALL... *SHE'S BREATHING HEAVILY... UNABLE TO PROCESS THE MOMENT... EVERYTHING... FEELS TOO GOOD FOR HER...* I... DID EVERYTHING JUST TO HAVE YOUR ATTENTION... I... LOVE... WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME EVERY TIME... YOU'RE... THE BEST... AT EVERYTHING YOU DO MY LOVE... PLEASE FUCK ME AGAIN... *SHE'S EXPECTING ALOT FROM HER SISTER THE PERSON SHE SHARES THE BODY WITH...*

Sexy-Chan: USELESS... I WILL NEVER FIGHT YOU AGAIN... TRASH WASTE... UNINTERESTING...

Dark-Mommy: AHHHH!!!!! MOMMY FEELS YOU!!!!! YOUR FEELINGS!!!!!! SAY YOU HATE ME!!!!!!! THAT IS LIKE LOVE TO MY EARS!!

Sexy-Chan: WORTHLESS... *SPIT...* THAT IS THE BEST YOU DESERVE... GARBAGE...

Dark-Mommy: YES PLEASE... I WANT TO BE FUCKED AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nasty-Chan Is With Sexy-Chan As She's Snapped Back Awake... Nasty-Chan Is Worried For Sexy-Chan Who Collapsed During Their Crazy Fight... Sexy-Chan Can Understand Nasty-Chan As Their Feelings Connect Just In The Moment... Causing Them Both Terrible Pain... Stinging Inside...

Sexy-Chan: YOU... HAVE BEEN TROUGH WHAT I HAVE BEEN TROUGH?!

Nasty-Chan: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS... I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONLY ONE...

Sexy-Chan: I KNOW WHAT THIS IS LIKE... SUDDENLY... I CAN SEE YOU AS NO OTHER THAN MYSELF...

Nasty-Chan: OUR CONNECTION... IS DEEP... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS...

Berry-Baby: That's Crazy!! I Wonder How Many Little Ones She Has Deep Inside!!

SAYING THAT WAKING UP EVERYONE ELSE INSIDE... CURIOUS ABOUT CURRENT EVENTS...

Nasty-Mommy: INSANE... I WANT TO TASTE SO MANY OF THEM... CAN I...? I WANT THEM ALL FOR MYSELF...

Mommy-Chan: NO... LET'S SHARE THEM TOGETHER... COMMUNISM... SHARING IS CARING...

Nasty-Chan: SHUT UP...

Berry-Baby: SO PRETTY!! I WANNA FEEL WHAT THAT IS LIKE!!

Nasty-Chan: SILENCE... WE'RE HERE TO STEAL MONEY... QUIT CONFUSING ME... COMMUNISM DOESN'T WORK THAT MAKES PEOPLE LAZY... IF COMMUNISM WORKED MY MOTHER... SHE WOULDN'T LIKE ME... IF I WANT MOTHER TO LIKE ME I MUST... FIND... MONEY... ALL... MONEY...

Smart-Chan: And What If You Lose! Would She Any Longer Accept You? Or Only A Winner?

Nasty-Chan: SHUT UP... I ONLY HAVE... MOTHER... I HAVE NOTHING ELSE SHE IS THE PERSON I RELY ON... I CAN'T LISTEN TO YOUR NONSENSE... I PERMIT YOU FROM SPEAKING ABOUT THIS EVER AGAIN!! DO NOT DOUBT ME I AM YOUR MASTER I CONTROL YOU!! LISTEN TO ME!BE QUIET!!

Berry-Baby: Never!! *👅👅👅!!!*

Nasty-Mommy: Like That Would Get Me Shut... We Have Just Gotten Started... This Is Interesting... If Anything I Want To Know... More...

Mommy-Chan: I Can Support You 😇. You Feel Alone Right 😇?

Nasty-Chan: SILENCE... I DON'T NEED ANYONE... I ONLY NEED... *NASTY-CHAN'S MIND KEEPS SHIFTING WITH HER MOTHER HER FRIENDS AND MONEY WITHOUT FINISH...* SHHHH!!!! YOU DISTRACTED ME!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I HATE YOU!! DIE!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Berry-Baby: You Deserve That Stupid!!

Nasty-Mommy: CRY FOR MOMMY... *SMILING...*

Mommy-Chan: Honey!! I Always Only Care About You Nobody Could Ever Hate You!! There Is Something Wrong About Them If They Do!! I Love You!! Listen To Me!!

Nasty-Chan: YOU'RE RIGHT... NOW... I WILL FUCK THAT WOMAN AND SEE WHAT'S SHE'S LIKE HOW GOOD SHE IS... THEN... WE WILL FIND MONEY AND BRING THAT TO MOTHER... PLEASING HER... I WANT TO PLEASE MOMMY I HAVE TO PLEASE MOMMY... *SHE IS GLARING FORWARD... HER INSIDE FILLED WITH DEEP ANGER TORWARDS THE SEKAI...* HERE WE COME... I WILL FUCK YOU... *SHE IS VERY AGRESSIVE...* *ALL OF THEM MOVE FORWARD... TORWARDS WHAT IS INTERESTING...* WE'RE COMING FOR YOU!!

Sun-Chan Keeps Leaving Flowers In The Water She Can't Stop She Has Been Doing This For Multiple Hours... Her Mind Is Locked On Torwards The Flowers Leaving...

Sun-Chan: They Leave... Just Like People... I Find This Relatable...

IN THE OCEAN LIES VAUSH'S FACE... UNTIL... CAPITALISM SURROUNDS SUN-CHAN!! HER DEMONS ARE EVERYWHERE!! THOSE THAT HAUNT HER!!

Sun-Chan: !! IMPOSSIBLE!! *SHE IS VERY SHOCKED... AS AROUND HER ARE ALL THOSE THAT HAVE HURT HER...* VAUSH!! XANDERHAULL!! LUCY HAZE!! CAPITALISM!! IMPOSSIBLE!! MORE... EVERYONE... EVER... LOLITA... HORNRULER... HOW DARE YOU... HOW DARE YOU!!!!

SUN-CHAN ATTACKS LOLITA WHO IS SMILING ONLY FOR HER TO DISAPPEAR INTO BLACK GOO THAT SURROUNDS SUN-CHAN FROM EVERYWHERE!! SHE'S BEING SUCKED IN AS SHE'S DESPERATE FOR AN ESCAPE!!

Sun-Chan: HELP ME!! EVERYONE!!

HER SISTERS GRAB HER ONLY TO MISS HER THEY ARE STRUGGLING TOO AFTERALL THEY ALL LIVE INSIDE OF HER!!

Sun-Chan: EVERYONE!!

ONLY FOR RAGE-CHAN TO APPEAR FROM THE SKY LIKE AN ANGEL THE FIRST TIME!!!! ATTACKING AND CHOKING LOLITA'S GHOST VERY BRUTALLY WITH BLOOD...

Rage-Chan: DIE... LOLITA... LET GO OF MY DAUGHTER SUN-CHAN...

Lolita: *BEING CHOKED FROM BEHIND... STRUGGLING... DYING...* YOUR DAUGHTER?!?!! DID SOMETHING...!! CHANGE BETWEEN YOU TWO?!!?!! *SHE DYING AND RAGE-CHAN BECOMES VERY ANGRY AND ENTERS DEMON MODE!! SUN-CHAN NOTICES THIS AND ENTERS DEMON MODE ASWELL TURNING HER BODY FLAMES AND SKIN BLACK!!*

Sun-Chan: SUN-CHAN MODE: FIREBLIX!! POWER OF TRANSFORMATION: CRY OF THE FIREBREAKER!! HEAT UP!!!!

SUN-CHAN GOES SUPER SAYAN AS SHE'S POWERED UP SHE ATTACKS LOLITA ON ALL LEGS SHE HAS!!

Lolita: *SMILING...* VERY NICE!! NEVER ENOUGH!! *LOLITA PULLS THE CHAIN DRAGGING BOTH FIREBREAKER SUN AND DEMONMODE RAGE TORWARDS HER!!!!* I'M GONNA KILL YOU!! THIS IS FOR EVERYTHING YOU DID TO ME AND MY FAMILY!! I WAS ADOPTED MY VAUSH UNTIL YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!! I HATE YOU!! SHE RAISED ME SHE LOVED ME FATHER TOOK ALL THAT AWAY HE WAS NEVER EVEN A PERSON HE WAS A ROBOT A COLD CAPITALIST MACHINE AN ABUSER BIGOT STOP HARMING ME!! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!! *THEY'RE PULLED CLOSER UNTIL A YELLOW LION CUTS IN AND CUTS THE CHAIN CAUSING LOLITA TO GET LOUD AND FRUSTRATED A BROWN ANIMAL AND PINK ANIMAL BOTH TACLE HER AS THE YELLOW ANIMAL LANDS TO A GREEN ANIMAL!! CRAZY THINGS ARE HAPPENING!! LOLITA CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AS SHE IN ANGER ENTERS SNAKEGOD MODE HER SPECIAL POWER!!* MY FATHER VAUSH MADE ME THIS WAY!! I WILL KILL YOU NONE OF YOU WERE THERE FOR ME!! I LOVE YOU!! ACCEPT DEATH WITH MY ATTACKS FOR THIS REASON!! COME!!

SUDDENLY FROM ABOVE A FAMILIAR KATANA ATTACKS THAT IS ALLBLACK!! DRAGONCRY'S SON A PSYCHOPATH THAT WAS LOCKED IN VAUSH HOSPITAL AND FREED HIMSELF TORTURED AND AS RESULT LOOKING FOR REVENGE AGAINST VAUSH!! LOLITA REPRESENTING HIS IDEOLOGY BEING HIS FINAL TARGET AFTER VAUSH'S DEATH THE SAME VAUSH THAT HAS JUST RETURNED AGAIN ATLEAST AS BLACK LIQUID THE SAME!! THIS FILLS LOLITA WITH ANGER...

Lolita: ALLBLACK!! I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU ASSHOLE!!!! *SHE ENTERS EXTREME RAGE AS SHE TRIES TO KILL ALLBLACK THAT IS AVOIDING HER ATTACKS!!* FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!!

FROM BEHIND HER APPEARS SKULL-KUN ALLBLACK'S BEST FRIEND HIS NAME USED TO BE DUDEBRO BUT HE GOT TIRED AND BECAME MORE EMO!!

ICEKILL AND LOVEBLOW APPEAR ASWELL ALLBLACK'S WOKE FRIENDS WOMAN BOTH LESBIAN AS THEY'RE GAY. BALANCING EACHOTHER OUT. ICEKILL COLDER AND MORE MYSTERIOUS THAN THE SIMPLE LOVEBLOW THAT IS EASY TO READ... SUDDENLY DJMUEL BLASTS IN TROUGH THE ROCK WALLS!!

Djmuel: *SUPER ANGRY...* VAUSH-KUN!!

BEHIND HIM COME HIS 3 LOVEHORN WHO HAS ONCE AGAIN BEEN REDUCED TO HIS STATUS WIFE AND HARDWALL AND DARKKILL THE 2 OF THEM LIKING THE SAME GENDER SEXUALLY INTERESTED IN THE MAIN 2 THEY BOTH KNOW THEY CAN NEVER HAVE SOMETIMES COMING CLOSER TO CHANGING THIS... THE GAY ENERGY BETWEEN VAUSH AND DJMUEL CAN'T BE CHANGED AND WITH THAT LANDS IN HORNRULER DJMUEL'S DAUGHTER THE WOMAN THAT WAS TRAUMATIZED AND MADE THAT INTO HER WEAPON SHE'S LIKE LOLITA BOTH TRAUMATIZED AND ONLY USED AND MANIPULATED BY THEIR EVIL FATHERS SHOWCASING THEY'RE EVIL AND SHOULDN'T BE TRUSTED BY ANYONE...

ALLBLACK GETS ANGRY AND SUMMONS IN MORE PEOPLE HIS GAY BEST FRIEND LANDING IN FIRST HE IS VERY POWERFULL AND MUSCULAR DESPITE ALSO BEING FEMININE AND NICE TO PEOPLE... AND HIS LESBIAN FRIEND HE IS VERY DISTANT WITH HER READYING HER WEAPONS AS HER GIRLFRIEND LANDS IN WITH HER... ALLBLACK'S SMART ALLY LANDS IN ASWELL LOOKING DOWN ON HIS AS USUAL... AFTER THAT A VERY GAY YANDERE ASWELL... LOLITA LOOKS AT THEM... READY TO INSULT...

Lolita: Where's All The Masculine Woman And Nonbinary People? DID YOU FORGET THEM AT HOME? *SMILING INSANE...*

SUDDENLY 2 MORE FEMININE MAN APPEAR THEY HAVE BLACK SKIN THEY'RE THE 2 FROM VAUSH ISLAND!!

Lolita: CRAZY... I REMEMBER THEM ONCE BEING A THING...

SUDDENLY!! LOLITA IS BURNED FROM BEHIND A MASCULINE FIRE WOMAN APPEARING WITH HER SISTER BROTHER AND FATHER ALL MASCULINE AND OLDER THAN HER...

Lolita: THERE'S ONE...

Voidrule: THE DISRESPECT... I... AM... VOIDGENER...

LOLITA IS TURNED ON AS VOIDRULE ATTACKS HER IN RAGE!! HER PLAN ALL ALONG WAS TO PISS OF THIS PERSON SHE'S ALWAYS SO DEEPLY DESPISED...

HORNRULER ATTACKS LOLITA IN RAGE SHE'S REMINDED OF HER HORRIBLE TRAUMA ALL THE TIME!! SHE'S PISSED AT EVEN THE THOUGHT THOSE DEMONS COULD APOLOGISE TO HER!! NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE THE FACT THAT SHE WAS RAPED... AND SHE NEEDS THIS AS GASSLIGHT AGAINST ANYONE AGAINST HER...

Hornruler: LOLITA BASTARD!!

LOLITA CAN FEELS HERS ASWELL BUT INSTEAD HIDES THAT BEHIND AN EVIL SMILE AND RESPONDS WITH DELIGHT AT THE PERSON SHE'S SECRETLY LOOKED UP TO ALL THIS TIME!!

Lolita: COME AT ME!! HORNRULER!!

HORNRULER ATTACKS IN ABSOLUTE RAGE!! EVERY SINGLE MOMENT MAKING HER RELIVE HER HORRIBLE PAST... THOSE BLOWS ARE MEANINGLESS AS VAUSH AND HIS WIVES ALL TACLE THE ATTACK!!

Vaush: ARE YOU OKAY...? LOLITA-TOOL...?

Lolita: Father!! *Suprised!!*

VAUSH'S BROTHER MOTHER AND FATHER LAND IN ASWELL...

Vaush Pit: WE HAVE COME... FATHER...

Vaush: PATHETIC...

SUN-CHAN IS ATTACKED BY SHADOW SUN-CHAN THE SHADOW OF CAPITALISM!!

Sun-Chan: Damn You!!

SUDDENLY RAGE-CHAN IS PUSHED INTO SUN-CHAN BY A KATANA WOMAN!!

Rage-Chan: !! *ANGRY...* GRRHHH!!!!!!!!!!! RA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COOL-CHAN AND ANIME-CHAN LAND IN ASWELL!! AFTER WHICH POPULAR-CHAN AND KIND-CHAN FOLLOW THEN EVIL-CHAN AND BABY-CHAN ASWELL AS BRIGHT-CHAN AND DEPRESSION-CHAN!! UNDER THE GROUND ATTACKS A POWERFULL MAN AND SUDDENLY SHINE-KUN AND FAITH-KUN ASWELL AS DARK-KUN AND LOVE-KUN ATTACK IN ASWELL!! A HUGE MONSTER TURNS GIANT AS A BUNCH OF KNIVES TRY TO HIT LOLITA WHO IS RUNNING AWAY ONLY TO BE HIT BY ALLBLACK!! ENTERING RAGE THEM BOTH ALLBLACK'S TEAM AMBUSH LOLITA!! AND AS SHE DODGES THAT FROM BEHIND HER COMES SKULL-KUN!! LOLITA AVOIDS THAT AVOIDS BULLETS UNTIL... ALLBLACK ATTACKS!! SHE DODGES EVERYTHING AGAIN AS HIS FRIENDS ATTACK IN AGAIN!! ALL OF THEM HITTING INTO HER 1 BY 1!! LOLITA IS KICKED TO THE SIDE BUT SAVED BY HER FRIENDS... THEY HAVE COME TO ASSIST HER... THE FORBIDDEN CREW ASWELL AS VAUSH SQUAD BOTH APPEAR... VAUSH FAMILY'S SQUADS ALL APPEAR ASWELL AS EXTRA SQUADS... THE BATTLE HAS GONE INSANE AS CRAZY BULLMONSTER ATTACKS THE SAME ONE FROM VAUSH HOSPITAL!! RAGE-CHAN'S FATHER AND MOTHER BOTH APPEAR ASWELL AS DRAGONCRY'S CREW AND ONCE THE FINAL ATTACK IS LANT LOLITA MANAGES TO OVERPOWER ALLBLACK!! AS HE'S ABOUT TO DIE LOLITA IS HIT BY AN AXE THE MOTHER GODDESS DRAGON AXE AND DRAGONCRY IS REVEALED... THIS BATTLE IS INSANE...

[girl-dot-tzt]

Alright results are in, I'm not allowed to finish for 36 days 🙃

Im going to update this as a lil diary to keep me honest💃

Day 1: I'm feeling pretty good, I notice I get really horny when I take my prog the ✨️fun way✨️ so I'm going to use that method to increase the challenge this month. I'm thinking of meeting a friend tomorrow so I'm excited!

Day 2: more of the same, pretty standard, had a great time with said friend. Getting a teeny but pent up but nothing crazy yet.

Day 3: getting more pent up but it's still manageable, made the mistake of reading a ton of horny posts and getting myself really horny. Thankfully I calmed down and now I'm good to go

Day 4: went to work, did some bike wrenching, now im boutta sleep. pretty uneventful but I'm meeting a good friend of mine tomorrow so I plan on making up for the lack of horny twofold. I need to get some Oregonian mutuals bc I'd like to bite someone :3

Day 5: got my tits fondled for like 3 hours while I watched anime and got insanely high, I need like 4 people to hold me down and grope/tease/fuck me... preferably all at once. I've got 31 more daysssssss, does it count if it's hands free? 🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️

Day 6: got no sleep, very horny, idk what direction Is up, and I need an answer to the question from yesterday 😫

Day 7: got sleep but not railed because if I get railed too well I'll could possibly finish and idk if that's OK yet :3. I'm going to mountain bike today! I'm super excited bc I need something to take the edge off, if I'm really unlucky I'll get too horny from the idea of getting fucked in the woods and make an update here.

Day 8: we're evening out a little, this may not be impossible, tbf I haven't had time to do much lately so when I finally get the time to ride my toys that might change. I'm planning on doing that tomorrow :3

Day 8 update: I accidentally took two progesterone pills because I boof mine, but I accidentally muscle memory-ed taking my prog orally. Got so horny during work that I nearly cried.

Day 9: I broke some spokes while mountain biking and now I'm sad, but horny and frustrated too. I can only think about being bred, but also being sad that my bike broke, damn fucking stupid sticks getting inbetween my fucking spokes. I need railed bad, etcetera etcetera

Day 10:

Girl abs, that is all

Day 11: I'm going to fuck myself on the biggest toy I own until I'm crying or edging with my Pspot🧍‍♀️ I will return

Day 12: I'm pretty sure I ended up getting edged. Pretty sure because I've never actually finished hands free before and my vibrator died right before I was about to finish. One of you witchy mother fuckers knew I was about to cheat or something, no other explanations, couldn't possibly be that I forgot to charge toys like a dumbass. Laugh it up, I got edged hard by my ADHD.

Days 13: I had a threesome and it was awesome! I explained my agreement to them and got teased a bunch as me and my friend dommed the fuck out of a gorgeous girl. We groped and kissed and sucked all over her body as she got more and more worked up, until eventually I was fucking her with my big purple vibrator and she came hands free for the first time! We made sure to shower her with all kinds of praise and congratulations 💃💃

Days 14-16: started a new job, I'm getting so horny these days that rather than feeling butterflies it's like an almost painful NEED. Like I just desperately need to get tied up and ground into dust, getting edged with my vibrator did a number on me because I'm a mess rn😆

Days 17-20: if I may be honest i embarked on this endeavor to try to finish hands free, I've never done it before but I desperately want to. I think I'll be able to do it by the end of these 36 days or sooner. Idk it's just a hunch🧍‍♀️

Day 21-29: 10 hr shifts in a lab will drive you nuts when there's nothing to think about but getting railed and ice cream percentages. On the plus side I am not only paid but required to eat ice cream every hour at my job. On the downside, I got so horny I cried last night🧍‍♀️😵‍💫😵‍💫

[tw1stedthicket]

After work today I was feeling proud of myself for getting a lot done and found out my old job is currently serving the BEST ice cream flavors (pumpkin and mocha) rn, so I drove to my old job and visited with my dearly beloved friend there and we caught up and chatted for like 3 hours! I love that lady. :') On god, I think I may just get a teeny tattoo somewhere (add it to the list lol) for my time at this farm job, because it has meant so much to me. I also got to see another one of my friends which felt really good and I desperately gotta see them for a hangout sometime. Today was so long but honestly really good. The connection I had was awesome.

Gotta take a moment to say... sometimes we got shit and we all sigh and dread and moan and beg the lord to take the mf wheel already but like. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. I am alive. School is everything I hoped it would be and more. Just a couple years ago, I was terrified of it, but I've never had something *click* like this. I had a job performance review the other day. It wasn't perfect. Not dropping the ball on anything, but room for improvement, so they say. I wrestled with it a little bit. But you know, I had a good, fun conversation with my assistant office manager today while I was up there working by myself since my coworker was gone. And we had a good time. And I though hey, I like who I am. I don't have to be the most stellar, incredible employee they just are so eager to be proud of, I'm just gonna do my job the best I can and let the rest of the bullshit fuck off, and you know what? I have good conversations with people. I can laugh with em. People around the office know me as being really sincere and good-natured. And that means so much more than anything else to me. I try to go to bed on time, man. I try to make time for the people I don't feel weird with, the people I never doubt for a second if they're being real, or honest, or just... *there* with me. Showing up as themselves, regardless of our tiredness and depression and shit because yeah that shit can suck but I love em and what would life be without each other at the end of it, you know? I remember how bad it felt, but I love to see them so much no matter what and the fact they show up makes me feel like I could fight a dragon, and I wish I could for them and their shit.

I sometimes don't notice how I'm places I never thought I would be. I read the posts of those people I knew from church that have also left the church, the very few ones I know, and their commitment to integrity is fucking insanely awesome and inspiring, and it inspires me to write out my own thoughts in my journal that I read over and think, damn. I'm pretty smart to have come up with those words to capture something so deeply just... weird and wirey and fucky. It's pretty cool to come from that at all, and I comprehend even more now the way both of them have this deep rooted regard for ethics reflected in his nursing job and her counselor job. They're really real like that.

And I think about that and think about how I was eating a coffee ice cream today that 2 years ago when I took the first bites of I felt riddled with guilt, and now? Fuck! It's so tasty!

I think about how hobbies are slowly re-entering the picture. I fuckin' love these detective games. I fuckin' love reading and journaling, and I'm entertaining these thoughts a lot different than I ever used to. I have plans to finally do what I wanted to do back in January and buy a bass guitar in a couple weeks.

I want to meet up with these friends. I want to meet up with the couple cool people I've met so far at school.

I found some glittery watercolor paints on Temu and like, yo! I've been lookin' for those! I'm so excited that my little sis is coming here in a bit. We're gonna have a good time. I wake up in the morning and you know what's crazy? I don't hate showering in the morning. It actually feels kinda refreshing. I stop in at the shell and buy some monsters and look forward to seeing the cashier. I eat my frozen microwave meals on lunch break and savor the taste. I play Disney songs and it's fun as hell to sing with my friend and know she's not judging me for it. I sit inside myself and think about how I felt when I saw that one person I only know of really, and it brought up the same bubbling of love in my heart, the way I wish I could love her and hold her, and in another life, I would... I would.

And it hit me again, the way it KEEPS hitting me. The pages are turning, man. I am gay, and it's fucking crazy to me sometimes I ever got here, because how the hell did my Mormon ass ever get here, lol? Jesus. I wish I could slap myself in the head so much, and for once I don't mean in the I-have-deep-remorse-and-shame-for-that-unfair-person-I-have-to-unlearn-to-be, but in the, goddamn you dummy, it really took ya til you were an adult to realize that for you, huh? I just wanna tell that part of me, "Go sit down." Lol. Lordy.

I realize so much how fuckin' haunted living feels sometimes. I know when I start dreaming about certain people and unfinished business again that I need the love of connection again. I've been feeling that, not knowing where my path onward leads with certain people, people I once couldn't imagine a future without, and dreaming oddly enough of my old ex. It's so weird how my brain remembers that feeling of loving and wanting to be loved, and the vulnerability in a relationship knowing you're the only one they're sharing some parts with, and as shitty as it was - I valued being a safe space for him, even to be safely broken. As much contempt as I feel, I also wish him to be incredibly well. Those feelings resurface in my dream of my sadness and unfinishedness, and the way I want to be loved by people who don't seem like they can. But man. We're gonna be okay.

The fact I'm out here now is proof of pushing forward and moving onward, and the fact that I find connection and connection finds me again in new ways all over again, is proof that the nature of life is to not only take, but also to give. Like the sentiment that if life is endlessly cleaning our dirty rooms and having to cook ourselves food every damn day, then that means life is also about the delight of a clean room and having homecooked meals. Like that post, good things come and go. But they come! They do.

I suppose I say all this to say, I'm grateful. Thank you for every new thing I learn. Thank you for every time I feel my disillusionment return, I remember what I must do, and most of the time it's that I gotta sleep as much as I can, and tell myself I'm doing okay like I'm a kid, and do some adult shit, and hey, I know the adult shit only ramps up in intensity. There's stuff now that's haunting me. But that's okay. I'm glad to be here. I'm happy to be here. I'm singing my favorite song again, and I feel it. I feel the salty waves come in, I feel them crash against my skin, and I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win. Hell yeah. They won't.

[mmorpg-escapism]

Alright, it's time for Paglth'an! If I'm not mistaken, this is the last Shadowbringers patch dungeon we'll be running, and despite it being a little early, I'm switching to the endwalker tag after this post. The tail end of x.5 patches are basically the next expansion anyway.

Anyway, dungeon! The twins and G'raha are taking a back seat this round after all the crazy running around they've been doing - and de-tempering Tiamat! - so we're taking Thancred, Y'shtola, and Urianger into the dragon's den (so to speak).

As soon as the intro cutscene starts, I am hit with what might be the heaviest bass in the game's music thus far. It's very intense and I love it - fitting, for what we're up against since Bahamut is, as far as everyone is aware, the single most dire threat Eorzea ever faced. The inclusion of bagpipes and arabian inspired sections (I cannot for the life of me remember the name of that string instrument) just adds some much needed variety to this guitar and bass heavy theme. I could sit here listening to this on a loop for hours and not get bored of it.

There sure are a lot of Tempered Imperials mixed in with the dragons here... the first casualty of the Telophoroi is their "home" country. This can't end well...

Boss #1 is Amhuluk, a big zappy kitty. The fight's main gimmick is using lightning rods at the edge of the arena to avoid getting fried, all while dodging big aoes and orbs that will also try to fry you. It's more annoying than anything because as a SAM, any time away from the boss is lost damage that could be getting the fight done faster. At least I'm not playing BLM.

Seeing Estinien and Tiamat both in action during this dungeon is AWESOME, by the way. We also get to fight alongside Aymeric and Lucia again :)

Boss #2 is... a really, really annoying "dodge the Bad" while also fighting tons of adds. NPCs for this one were Not Helpful at all. Missiles, beams, lots of magitek armor to beat up, it's just chaos. Survive until you can burn down the core twice, and move on. Not my favorite boss, especially because it just feels like a bonus trash phase for most of it.

The little sequence where we're flying over a golden battlefield with Tiamat is one of the coolest parts of this dungeon. The locale is stunning. Urianger, unfortunately, doesn't enjoy dragonback as a method of transportation. Or maybe it's the "over a battlefield" part.

And now... now we get to Boss #3: Lunar Bahamut. This Grape Kool-aid flavored dragon primal is just as menacing as the original. Augmented by the fact that he just kinda... dropkicks Tiamat. And shrugs off a fireball. Great.

I'll be honest, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't get to have the dungeon's theme music for this final boss. The normal end boss music is great, but it's not nearly as bass-heavy as the dungeon's theme.

Anyway, mechanics! Dodge The Bad, cranked up to 11. Cross AOEs that hit multiple times so drop it and run, multi-hit stacks, eyeball telegraphs that cover the whole arena and shrink down so there's only like 4 safe spots, circle aoes that snake across the floor in waves, etc. First time through, this took all of my concentration to survive. Now, older and wiser as I am? Yeah, it was still a challenge, but it was a fun challenge.

Hey! Peace with the Amalj'aa! ...is that war chief's voice actor the same one as Raubahn's? That's an awfully distinctive voice. It's not a named NPC though so IMDB has no idea. Oh well, I'll just *guess*.

(I'll address the Tower/Arenvald in another post)

[crashdevlin]

Another Second Chance 18- Therapy

Another Second Chance Masterlist, Happily Ever Eventually Masterlist

Author’s Note: The final (hopefully) installment of the Happily Ever Eventually RPF series.

Summary: Y/n finds herself a new house and Misha is determined to make it a huge project.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word count: 2993

Story Warnings: past cheating, mentions of FFM threesome, not much in this one

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s pretty, right?” I ask, looking around the open concept of the first floor of this $350,000 house.

“Kitchen’s kinda outdated,” Jensen says, pointing at the fridge. “I mean, that fridge has gotta be from when you were in high school.”

“I could buy new appliances, Jay. Get a natural gas stove set up. Install some cabinet pulls, because I’m not a really big fan of this whole lack of elements.” I gesture at the cabinets. “Probably stain it a little darker to go against the flooring. But it’s pretty, right?”

Jay smiles. “Yeah. It’s pretty...and it’s about twice as big as the one you’ve been living in. Which is what you need.”

“Yeah. Walk-in closet in the master, too. It’ll be a good place to put the security hub.”

“Or you could put the security hub in the closet in the den and put your clothes in the master closet,” Jay suggests, grumpy old man in his tone. "And if you're gonna update the kitchen, you gotta update the bathrooms. Get one of those-"

"I am not getting an automatic toilet!" I laugh. "No one needs that!"

"Of course no one needs it but it's freakin' awesome!"

"Okay, Dean," I tease.

"Dean would agree with me. Automatic toilet, with the bidet and the-"

"Dean Winchester would break an automatic toilet and then complain that it's a damn computer which means he can't fix it without help."

Jay laughs. "He'd still think it was cool."

"He'd be down for the heated seat. I will give you that much."

He smiles as he looks around. "So...are we looking at your new digs or what?"

I bite my bottom lip and run my hand over the granite countertop. “Shouldn’t I ask Nova's opinion? It's gonna be her home, too."

"She's a teenager. As long as she's got her own room, I'm sure she's gonna be fine." He sets his hands on my shoulders and smiles. "But you can show her pictures or bring her by before you sit down with the realtor."

I nod and smile. "It's in the right school district and a bigger room for her and for Mav and the bonus room can be an office. I really think it's the place."

"Then get it," he encourages. "Get it, Baby Girl. We can make it perfect. I'm no stranger to a little reno."

"Please," I start, laughing. "A contractor did the work on your old place. Shush."

He looks a little offended. "I helped. I painted. I installed the sink in the half bath off the kitchen."

"Fine. You can stain these cabinets for me." I wink and step away from him. I'm gonna get this house. "Come on." I walk to the foyer where the realtor is waiting and I smile at him. "Can I put in an offer now or should I wait a few hours?" He smiles brighter than the sun.

"You can make an offer anytime, Miss."

Miss. Still young enough to get 'miss'. "Good. Let's do this."

~~~~~~~~~

"Four bedroom, 2 and a half bath, 3200 square feet with an office next to the master bed. It needs some updating and work...had a contractor quote me $60,000 but that's not bad...covers new appliances, too."

"I could come down and help," Misha offers. "You know, a lot of that stuff you can DIY and I can help with most of it."

"You don't have to do that, Meesh."

"Why would I let you spend that much money on something I could help you with for a fraction of the cost?"

"Misha, you really don’t-"

"I'm not letting you tell me 'no' on this. We'll get together some manpower and get this done for you."

He's really not going to let me say 'no'. "Okay. Well, it's going to be several weeks before the paperwork is finished and all that. I'll let you know when it's mine."

"Good. I'll start looking at HGTV.com." Damn it, Misha. Don't be so extra. "And send me pictures and a floorplan so I know what I'm working with."

"Yeah, okay." Really no point in arguing. It's Misha. If I don't send him pics and a copy of the floorplan, he'll just find the house and get them himself off the internet. "I'll send it to you after my appointment tomorrow, okay?"

"Sounds good. Talk to you then."

"Bye, Meesh." I hang up and sigh. He's gonna make it this whole thing, isn't he?

His house in Washington did come out amazing, though, so he does have some skills that will help in this. Eh, why not? Why not get together with my best friend and make my new home my own?

"So, I get to see this house eventually, right?" Nova says, walking into the living room.

I smile. "Come see all these pretty pictures I took and we can speculate on what craziness Misha is gonna come up with." I pat the couch next to me and she comes over. "This is the view from the street." I start showing her the pictures and she claims a room before I've even finished the digital tour.

"Oh, and you're gonna paint the exterior, right? Like, it's pretty but it's yellow. You're gonna fix that, right?"

"Oh, I'm sure Misha isn't going to let me move into another drab house. You weren’t here the first time he showed up at this house but he had opinions about all of it. I didn't let him talk me into reno last time but this time...I don’t know...maybe this will be the forever home so…"

"It's gotta be custom!" Nova exclaims.

"Exactly."

"Can I paint my walls custom? Or get custom wallpaper done? I know that a lot of people don't like wallpaper but I've seen a few places that got it right and-"

"Yeah, baby, of course. We'll figure out something awesome for your walls." I kiss her forehead. We'll do whatever she wants for her room.

"Yay!"

I love when she's happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a while since I've been in Dr. McCauliffe's office. Life has been in the way...and I guess I didn’t want her to judge me for my involvement with Jensen...which is ridiculous because she's my therapist. She's not going to judge me.

"So." She taps her pen against her clipboard. "What's new?"

"Well...I have been dating Jensen again. I know you saw that in the news."

"I saw it on Mr. Collins' Instagram, actually," she says with a smile.

"Right. The video. Forgot about it for a minute. Um, yeah, like I said in the video and Jensen said in his...spark's still there, we're giving it another chance."

"How's that feel?"

I bite my bottom lip. "Scary as Hell, honestly. I mean, but it's good. I've done pretty good with boundaries and moving slowly. You know, before...we jumped in head first and everything was this intense passion right out of the gate but this time…" I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe we've grown up, or grown old, but…"

"Have you slept with him?" she asks and it's because she knows that sex was a big issue when I was with him before. Sex was all we were supposed to be in the beginning and sex ruined us in the end. I know why she's asking but there's this...well, it's a bit intrusive, isn't it? It seems like she's judging me for being sexually active and I know that's not what it is but my whole spine goes tense when she asks.

"Yes. We dated for about a month before we started getting physical again."

“And how has that been? I don’t need details, of course, but...emotionally, how has it been to be intimate with Jensen again?”

How to answer that?

Really, how am I supposed to answer that? It’s the best sex I’ve ever had, emotionally fullfilling in a romance-novel sort of way. It’s perfect but it does have its scary moments. “Well, we’ve only actually...slept together a couple times this time. His libido is a lot less than it was. I mean, he didn’t have sex the entire time we were broken up, can you believe that?”

Dr. McCauliffe adjusts her glasses and shrugs a little. “I do not. Five years is a long time to go without sex...but you seem to believe it. That’s what matters.”

I never even questioned it. Should I have? No, because he’s been so honest about everything else. “I went years and years without sex after Nate. I believe Jensen did the same after me. He had a lot going on. He was in recovery for alcoholism. He had to be a good father and work on his career and-”

“You just got very defensive, very quickly. Why is that?”

Fuck, I don’t know. I run my hand over my mouth and shrug. “I don’t know,” I respond honestly.

“Analyze it, Y/n. Why would you get so defensive over my disbelief in what Jensen told you?”

“Because I didn’t question it,” I answer after a moment. “Because he told me that the last time he had sex, real full-penetrative sex, was the time that broke us and I didn’t really question it. I took it at face value because we’ve been doing very good about honesty with each other and what if that’s stupid? What if I’m stupid because maybe he’s lying about it and keeping stuff from me and-”

“You said he’s been very good about honesty so far, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. He’s...he admitted to stuff that I never thought he’d admit to and he apologized for stuff and he’s been open about what happened and why. He’s even been honest about little things that he would have lied about before...like I told him about Will and he Googled him. Used to be, he’d keep that kind of thing to himself, never tell me, but he admitted it without even prompting.” I chew on my bottom lip as she starts scribbling on her notes. “I believe him. It might be stupid but I believe him.”

She sets her clipboard in her lap and smiles at me. “It’s not stupid...and he’s likely changed enough that honesty is important to him. You’ve told me that his recovery has changed him. Jared’s told me the same. Now, it’s a bit hard for me to believe that he’s changed so much in the last five years that he would have abstained from sex since the last time he was with you, but...I don’t know the man, do I? You do. Jared does. If you believe him, then don’t let me change your mind.”

“I believe him. You didn’t see the way he looked at me the first time we...‘Reverent’ is the best word for it.”

“What do you think that means for you?”

I scoot back, leaning against the back of the couch. “I think he’s finally got Danneel out of his head.”

“Do you?” she asks and I hate when she asks things I don’t want to answer. “Danneel was a major roadblock in your relationship before, wasn’t she?”

“You know she was. I was so focused on giving Jensen what he wanted...Danneel...that I couldn’t see that I was what he was supposed to be wanting. I wanted to be like her, couldn’t appreciate myself. I know this stuff, Doctor.” I shift on the couch and sigh. “I don’t wanna be Danneel and I don’t want Jensen to be with her. I want Jensen to be with me...I want him to want to be with only me.” I shrug. “Seems like that’s where we are. He doesn’t even talk to her anymore. I talked to her the other day and she didn’t even know why he doesn’t talk to her anymore.”

“You talked to Danneel again?”

“Yeah. We ran into each other at a shop while I was getting Nova a new dress. It...didn’t go well. Nova was very combative with Danneel. I ended up having to...be very honest with my daughter. She knows about everything now...even the night with Danneel.”

“Oh? How’d that talk go?”

“It was...it was good to get it off my chest, actually. It was like the conversation where I told her about, about why her father and I got divorced. It’s like...It was a hard conversation but it was an important one. I don’t have to...hide things anymore and that’s a blessing. She understands why I make the decisions I make now...she understands...the betrayal was a lot deeper than she even knew. She understands that now and...maybe it’ll make us closer, but at least she knows the truth now.”

“And she’s living with you now, right?” I nod. “How did that happen? Nathan doesn’t seem the type to just allow her to do what she wants.”

I snort. “He’s definitely not, but...he fucked up with Jenny, blew up his marriage. I’m actually surprised it took her this long to realize that he was cheating on her, but whatever. Um...Nova didn’t want to be there for the destruction of his way of life and she asked if she could come to Texas. I convinced him to let her come because she didn’t need to see the parade of his affairs that Jenny would bring up. I then used those women to convince him not to fight me on custody when I refiled. It was…” I scratch at my cheek. “It was a low move, but it’s exactly the kind of move he pulled on me, convincing the judge that I was too unstable to care for her. I don’t feel bad about it, especially since she wants to be here.”

“That’s a big change...on top of other big changes.”

“Yep...and there’s more coming. Because I need more room since Nova is living with me, there will be a new home in my future."

"A new home? That's exciting."

"It is. And I am more excited about it than I am scared so that says something."

"I remember how anxious you were about your first house. I remember all the security options you went through."

"Well, security had to be heavy. I had to think about Tom and his crazy-ass fans and the crazier of Jensen’s fans and the paps. There was that one photographer in Vancouver that climbed the balcony outside the condo to get pics of me and Jay, remember?" I shiver at the memory of looking out the French doors to see a man with his camera, snapping away. So intrusive. "I'm gonna have to put up a privacy fence and a coded gate at the new place, too...and, of course, all the security cameras."

"Sounds like a big project."

"Yeah. Definitely. Not even half of it, though. Misha wants to DIY everything."

"Misha isn't your husband, Y/n," Dr. McCauliffe reminds me and I laugh.

"I think he forgets that sometimes. But there's not a lot of use in arguing with him. He's...well, he's right a lot. Like, most of the time, I mean. So, I always cave to him."

"Do you want to do a big DIY project at this new house?"

"Not at first, I didn't but...I dunno. Might be fun. I've never gotten to do that kind of project and knowing Misha, he's gonna make it fun even if it is hard work."

"Well, as long as you can maintain your work as well as this project. How is that coming along?"

"Really good, actually. We started shooting not too long ago...and I hadn't even considered that this project might be detrimental to Midsummer. I'll have to make sure that Misha knows that Midsummer comes first."

"Well, it seems like you've got things under control."

"Yeah? I was afraid you'd tell me I was...going too fast or…"

"Do you think that? You were telling me that you'd done well with boundaries and keeping things-"

"Well, I have! I mean, Jensen was talking about moving in together already and I shut that down and decided to get a bigger place...my own bigger place."

"Jensen wanted to move in with you?" She writes down something on her notes. "And you said 'no'?"

"I said 'no'," I confirm. "I was really proud of myself, Doc. Nova was proud of me, too, actually. Which was...it was interesting and new. I don’t know that she's ever been proud of me for anything and I know that it's supposed to be the other way, where I'm proud of her and I am, of course but Nova being proud of me setting these boundaries and sticking to them...it gives me hope that she'll be able to do the same in her own life, you know?"

"There's nothing wrong with feeling happy that you made your daughter proud and there's nothing wrong with hoping she's going to make different mistakes than you. She's going to do well in life if you keep making the best choices for the both of you." She sets her clipboard on her desk and smiles. "I'm proud of you, too, by the way. Six years ago, you would have jumped at living with Jensen."

"Six years ago, I did."

We finish out our session with a promise to not go so long without seeing her next time. "Mental health is about the maintenance," she reminds me as she opens her office door and walks me to the reception desk. I agree and set an appointment for six weeks out. I call Misha as I start my car, intending to tell him that Midsummer comes before the house project. I haven't even gotten a 'hello' out of my mouth when he speaks.

"I saw the pictures you sent. I have so many ideas!"

~~~

The Kitchen Sink - @emoryhemsworth @flamencodiva @wasabiwitteks @rainbowkisses31 @rissbennett @mariekoukie6661 @officiallyunofficialperson @dolphincliffs @mrs-meghan-winchester @gayspacenerd @foxyjwls007 @ilovefanfic86 @marvelfansworld @f-yeahfandoms @wonderlandfandomkingdom @hhiggs @sev3nruby @hobby27 @paintballkid711 @divadinag @thewhiterabbit42 @fantasymyth-1 @queenoftheunderdark @cosicas-cuquis @superfanficnatural @letsby @supernatural-bellawinchester @onethirstyunicorn @swinchester27 @chalicia @screechingartisancashbailiff @death-unbecomes-you @dayasvalkyrie @paryl @wereallbrokenangels @the-american-witch @that-one-gay-girl @tatted-trina6 @sunshineandwings86 @lunarmoon8 @wheezyeds @vicmc624 @couldabeenamermaid @vulgar-library

[is-this-a-skam-account]

Shelter Chapter 4 (part 2) by Shawnie1718 ao3

Eliott took one hit and puffed out the smoke. Lucas didn’t even try to hide the fact that he watched it go up into the air. When their eyes met again Eliott offered him the cigarette.

Lucas took it graciously. He wasn’t any stranger to smoking, though he liked smoking weed more than just cigarettes. Lucas breathed in slowly, and pulled the cigarette away gently, letting the smoke settle in his mouth for just a second before breathing out. “So you smoke,” Eliott said with a dry laugh.

Lucas shrugged, “whenever it’s offered. Normally I won’t seek out a cigarette.”

Eliott nodded slowly, placing it between his lips once more. When he pulled it away he blew out a smoke ring that slowly rose into the air. Lucas felt his mouth go dry. That was the hottest thing he thinks he has ever seen. “So your parents aren’t together, huh?”

Lucas swallowed and looked down at the ground. Great, why don’t we talk about this again. “Yeah, my dad sort of...left my mom and I for some other Omega too young for him. My mom sort of went downhill from there.”

Lucas could see Eliott breathe smoke out his nose from his peripheral before saying, “fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that it was...like that. We don’t have to talk about it.”

Lucas shakes his head, eyes flitting up for a second to catch Eliott’s before looking immediately back down at the concrete. “It’s fine. My dad and I have some issues with one another but honestly at this point I don’t care about him. My mom and I had some rough patches when I was in high school, cause I was stupid and hated everyone,” Lucas paused. “Now I just miss her.”

Eliott cringed, “is she not...with us anymore?”

Lucas looked up in surprised, “oh, fuck, that’s not what I meant! I just meant that she, well she has a mental illness and she has to be kept in a hospital for it. I just don’t get to see her all the time and it hurts.” Lucas paused, scoffing at himself, “sorry, I don’t know why I’m saying all this.”

“No, no, I appreciate it, Lucas,” holy crap his name sounds so good in Eliott’s mouth. “I actually help run different organizations regarding mental illnesses. Well, I don’t necessarily run them. I more advocate for them. Like a...poster boy of some sort.” He takes another hit of the cigarette. It’s at the end of its life.

“That’s awesome! How’d you get involved in the topic of mental illnesses?”

“Well I’m bipolar,” Eliott said. He said it so nonchalantly that Lucas isn’t sure if he heard him right or not. The shock must register on Lucas’s face because suddenly Eliott paused, “oh I thought you knew. I’m pretty open about it on social media, because I hope to bring attention to the topic.”

Lucas is still trying to find the right words when Eliott’s says, “if it’s a problem, then I should probably just go.”

Lucas sees Eliott ground his cigarette into the ground, and before he could take a step backward Lucas grabbed onto his wrist, “no! No of course it’s not an issue, Eliott! Sorry, I was just sort of shocked. I’m not used to talking about these topics so openly. The only friend of mine who really knows about my moms situation is Yann. And I suppose Manon and Mika too, but only the basics.”

Eliott smiled at that, and Lucas could have sworn he saw relief flood over his face. “We have talked about this a lot, huh?”

Lucas shrugged.

“What do you say we go do something else? Maybe…go to the top of the Eiffel Tower.”

Lucas laughed, it was a good hearty laugh that made Eliott smile. “Wow, are you sure you’re French? You seem more like a tourist.”

“What? Is appreciating my country a crime?”

“No, no, not at all. Say, is this your first time ever witnessing something as grand as the Eiffel Tower, monsieur?” Lucas asked incredulously, poking fun at the Alpha.

“Haha very funny. Cmon, what French person hasn’t been to the Eiffel Tower and at least appreciated its beauty on some level?”

Lucas paused as they start walking back. The sun was setting in front of them, and it honestly looked like a view from a postcard. “I’ve never been to the Eiffel Tower.”

“What?! Are you even French?!”

Lucas gaped at him. “Am I even French?! I’m not the one acting like they want to marry the damn thing!”

Eliott laughed. There was some raspiness to his soft voice that made something inside Lucas want to intertwine their hands and never let go. “Well, I guess we're both just weird French people then, huh?”

Lucas smiled, “just a little weird.”

As they waited in line to get in the elevator up to the top of the Tower, Eliott demanded taking some pictures of the sunset from out the window.

“Just get in one!” Eliott pleases.

Lucas rolled his eyes, “never gonna happen. Especially if I know you are going to post about it on Instagram.”

Eliott smirked and took a step closer, hand bringing his camera to his side. “What’s so bad about the fact that I want to show off the awesome day I had with such a-“ he was interrupted by the workers ushering people into the elevator.

Pretty soon they were crammed into a steel death trap which was inching its way up this massive structure. The way in which they boarded made it so that Eliott stood behind Lucas. Since it was so crowded they were basically crushed together, and Lucas was so not prepared. He also wasn’t ready for the fact that it made their height difference so visible. Lucas feel Eliott’s breath against his neck. The fact that every time Eliott breathed out, a puff of air tickled his scent gland and briefly made his knees go weak was making him crazy. Lucas was pretty sure he was going to turn into putty on the floor if he weren’t careful. And Lucas wasn’t sure if Eliott was doing it on purpose, but everytime the elevator lurched he could feel the taller boy press just a tiny bit closer. Not to mention the fact that Eliott’s scent was driving him practically up the wall. The Alpha was filling all his senses and Lucas just needed out of here or else he wasn’t sure what would happen.

Lucas practically dashed out of the elevator into the open area. Allowing his sense of smell to be filled with something other than Eliott. Not that Eliott smelled bad. Actually, it was the opposite. It was because Eliott smelled so damn good that it made Lucas want to jump his bones right then and there.

“You okay?” Eliott asked and placed a tentative hand on Lucas’s shoulder.

Lucas nodded. He didn’t need to look in a mirror to know that his cheeks were flushed a bright crimson. Hopefully Eliott would just think he’s sick or something…

“Whoa!” Eliott exclaimed and ran to the nearest window, peering down. “This sight never gets old.” He practically whispered into the glass as Lucas got closer.

Lucas followed Eliott’s eyes, pushing his fear of heights to the side for just a few moments. “Oh! There’s my motorcycle! You can see it if you really squint…” Lucas commented and pointed to where he had parked his baby earlier.

“You ride a motorcycle?”

Lucas nodded, “just for a few years.”

“That’s so cool! I wish I could ride one.” Eliott said and leaned against the railing, facing Lucas.

“Well maybe I can give you a ride back to your apartment later,” Lucas offered.

“Oh you are definitely giving me a ride later,” Lucas knew that Eliott didn’t mean it the way it came across. But Lucas couldn’t stop his mind from filling with some obscene images involving a certain Omega and Alpha. In bed. Lucas bit his bottom lip to suppress a whimper from making its way out.

They stood in front of the window for what felt like hours. They were making small banter between them, though in Lucas’s opinion they didn’t even really need to talk. It could have been the most deadly silence anyone had ever come across, and it still would have been fine. Because they are fine. They’re Eliott and Lucas.

“What do you say we head out?” Eliott finally offered and nodded his head towards the exit. Lucas agreed and followed after him.

Lucas dreaded the entire walk from the Eiffel Tower to where he had parked his motorbike. Because it meant this day, this day that actually made Lucas feel like himself after months of feeling out of place, was coming to an end. They walked exceptionally close. Fireworks were going off inside Lucas every time he felt their knuckles brush or their shoulders touch. He practically gnawed a gash into his bottom lip with how he had been anxiously chewing at it.

“This is it here,” Lucas gestured towards his baby, which practically flowed in the dark.

Eliott whistled and ran a hand over the seat. “I don’t know anything about motorcycles, but this baby is sweet.” Lucas laughed. “Why don’t you get on and show me how it’s done?” Eliott practically challenged, eyebrows bouncing up.

Lucas rolled his eyes and mounted the motorcycle, hands curled around the handlebars. He let his eyes shut at the feeling. Yeah, there was nothing better than this.

Suddenly he heard a camera shutter go off and Lucas’s eyes shot open. There Eliott stood, camera in hand, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Lucas narrowed his eyes.

“Did you just take a photo of me?”

“No.”

“Eliott.”

“No!”

“Fine, show me your photos.”

Eliott frowned playfully. “Fine, okay! I did. But I couldn’t help it! You look so hot.”

Lucas felt his breath catch at the last sentence. He swallowed and urged himself to just brush it off. “Whatever, just get on?” He said and offered Eliott a helmet.

Eliott smirked, acting as if he’d won. He happily took the helmet and strapped it around his head safely. A few tufts of messy hair poked out from the front and sides, and made Lucas smile.

Lucas revved the engine a couple times before smiling over his shoulder. “You might want to hang on.” Lucas said over the humming of the motorcycle.

Eliott simply beamed at Lucas as his hands slid around the younger boys waist. Lucas nearly jumped when he felt Eliott bring himself flush to Lucas’s back and hands tighten. Eliott then placed his head on Lucas’s shoulder, peering out at the road. Without another warning Lucas took off. He heard Eliott let out a surprised “whoa!” from behind him, which made Lucas smile. Eliott was practically hollering with laughter and excitement as Lucas made sharp turns and swerved between cars. Lucas tried to take them a little out of the way of the city, and into an area where he knows there aren’t as many traffic lights or pedestrians out at night.

As the ride continued and the busy streets turned into more calm, less populated areas Eliott seemed to relax. He didn’t try to say anything to Lucas, which he appreciated. Not that he had to just concentrate on the road. Rather, Lucas was just happy to bask in the feeling of wind rushing past him and the hum of the bike. He especially couldn’t get enough of the shifting pressure of Eliott on his back. Or of Eliott’s gentle touch on his stomach. Or of how close Eliott was to his scent gland. Close enough that his nose accidentally brushed it a couple times.

Lucas had to turn around at some point though, they couldn’t just keep riding forever. Eliott had to get back to his apartment and Lucas also had to go to bed. Though, Lucas is sure neither of them would have complained if they just stayed like this until time ended.

Eliott was kind enough to direct Lucas to his apartment, since Lucas had literally no idea where he was going. When he pulled up to an old apartment building, Lucas wasn’t sure if Eliott had directed him to the right place. Did a supermodel really live here?

As soon as Eliott hopped off, Lucas immediately regretted ever taking him back to his apartment. Lucas just wanted to always have the soft pressure of Eliott on his back, and the playful twitches in Eliott’s hands pressed against his stomach. He wanted Eliott to just sweep him off his feet and carry him to their future, wherever that may be.

“Thanks for today,” Eliott said and pulled the helmet off his head, tucking it under his elbow.

Lucas smiled, he felt like he was going to cry. He didn’t want this to end, not yet. “Of course. Thank you, Eliott.”

Eliott looked like he was frozen in place. Like he was struggling to find the willpower to even move his feet. Lucas saw Eliott’s hand twitch upwards a couple times before falling limp again at his side. “Right. Well, next time then.” Eliott smiled and turned to walk away.

As Eliott was about halfway to his door Lucas called after him, “Eliott! My helmet!”

Eliott looked down at his own limbs, almost shocked that he still had it himself. He paused a second before sending a smirk over his shoulder, “you’ll get it back next time. It’ll give you a reason to come visit me.”

@lucallemant: day out with my baby.

@srodulv: come get your helmet. im missing you already

[pbandjesse]

Today was a pretty good day. There was a big stressful part of the beginning but the majority of the day was very good. There was even a special surprise. And yoga.

I slept super poorly last night. I couldn't fall asleep for forever because I felt sick and nauseous and bad. And then when I did fall asleep I woke up a few times again. Air conditioner turned off in the middle of the night and James rollover next to me and I woke up just horribly uncomfortable. He wouldn't turn the air conditioning back on that because he always takes care of me. And I was able to sleep until about 7.

James was awake and told me I could keep sleeping but I didn't really want to. I wanted to lay there so I just played on my phone for a while. And then I got up. I got cleaned up and dressed and I felt okay.

I hung in my hammock for a little bit and then James told me he made a waffle. And I was like okay. And I was confused because he had asked me what I wanted for breakfast last night and I said I was going to have the avocado scramble thing I made the other day. And then he remembered that after he made the waffle and felt very bad. But it was fine. He made the thing I wanted and he had the waffle for breakfast instead.

I got the best boyfriend.

We hung out for a while and then left to go to the bus. James walked me there. And then bus proceeded not to show up for almost a half an hour. I was very frustrated. Because it was supposed to be there at 9: 30 but it didn't come until almost 9:50. And we had been there since 920. So I was very stressed out and I hate being late!! I texted Tiffany and let her know and I was just very distressed.

I was about 15 minutes late in the end. Sucks. I'm going to try to get an earlier bus tomorrow. So even if it runs late I will hopefully have the same issue. Because seriously we were three blocks away from access art and our bus driver saw someone on the street that he knew and he park the bus and got off to go have a conversation with him. I was losing my mind.

But I got there and everyone was fine. We're just lesson planning so it wasn't like I was missing anything yet but I hate being late. We all kind of bullshitted and talked for a little bit and then the teacher from holistic Life Center came.

He was a really nice guy. He told really funny stories and he was young and covered in tattoos and wearing a Orioles yoga shirt. He mostly talked about mindfulness. A little bit of yoga. And we learned a lot about breathing exercises. I felt very Vindicated and validated about the types of breathing exercises I already do with the kids when they're upset or hurt. But I learned some really interesting ones today. Specifically that I breathe wrong and I'm trying to retrain myself but it's very hard. It was very enjoyable even though I hated sitting in the folding chairs for that long. My feet don't reach the ground and it's uncomfortable.

But we also played a couple mindfulness games at the end of that was cool. Stuff that we can use in the classroom and it's awesome. I'm really glad that we were able to do that.

We had a late lunch. Marcus went down the street and got me a spring roll. Was very good. And I worked on my lesson plan. Almost out. I think I'll probably end up finishing it tomorrow. And then I'll go back in and make sure it's all good. I also think I want to use a couple other visual things for the classroom. And maybe add some tutorial images of some kind. We have tomorrow and Friday to finish lesson plans. And even with my brain breaks where I sketched tattoo ideas I still got a lot done.

While I was taking a break on my lesson plan I was looking at eBay and I got a crazy good deal on a Furby buddy. Something that I've been trying to get for 2 months now there's a little plush versions of the Furbies. I don't absolutely love them but people use them to make the long Furbies. And I'd like to try my hand at that. And I got one for $5. Usually they go for $35 to $40. I am very excited. I think I'm going to use it slightly as part of my example for my quilt making lesson. I'm going to make its belly pattern based off of Victorian crazy quilts. I'm very excited.

At 3 we finished up. We all decided on which weeks we should be teaching our lessons and when. Was decided that my quilt project would go first which makes me slightly nervous but it's probably a good idea. Because it's community building project we're going to kind of have all the kids get out there art things right away before they jump into other projects and I think that will work out nicely.

And then me and fitsum went home. His driving kind of makes me nauseous. Lot of fast speed up and then stopping. But we had a nice conversation about capitalism and its downfalls. And talked about apartments because he's moving as well. We saw a couple meet cars that we pointed out and talked about. It was a good time.

He dropped me off and I made some food. Did a couple packing things. Made a pile of the furniture and getting rid of. And just kind of hung out. Me and James were going to have dinner together but I kind of just wanted to be by myself a little bit. My dad's going to come visit this weekend and he's going to take the bed. So really these are the last couple days I'm ever going to live alone if all goes according to plan. And it feels very strange. I've lived alone for a long time. But I am excited. Nervous but excited.

I was just kind of chilling. Even though it was too humid in here to call it chilling. Playing Animal Crossing and watching videos. And then I decided to go check the mail.

I was excited because I had a package. But then I saw that there was a letter in there as well from the Minneapolis Apartment project. Which means it's from the class action settlement. Which means it's a check. When we won the settlement last year they said that we would get all of our rent back. But of course it was going to go into appeals. So we would probably just get a portion of our rent back. And honestly getting any amount of money from living in those apartments would be fine. But I was so nervous about opening this check. So he opened my package first. And it was socks! very exciting. I was looking forward to those socks. They're black and they have little hearts on them.

But I couldn't put off opening the check any longer. And I did and if I did my math right I thought about nine months worth of rent back. And the checks that this might not be the only check. That I might get more? Like after all the lawyers and fees are paid if there's anything left over there going to send another check. That's wild. And like all of my money stress. The $40 me and James got scammed out of the other day. James his bike breaking. Moving. All of it. This kind of feels like a buffer. We don't have to worry about it now. Least for a while. And I'm making more money and if he gets this job he's going to be at making more money. And even if he doesn't get this job he's going to keep looking until he does get something good. Don't have to be so stressed out and nickel-and-diming ourselves all the time. it's exciting. It feels Like the universe is telling me everything's going to be okay. That means using my white privilege to help make the lives of my neighbors and Minneapolis better is being rewarded. And that sometimes being a good person and trying to help other people does pay off in the end. And sometimes in cash.

I kind of didn't know what to say when I open the check. So I called James and let him know. And then I called my dad. We talked about taxes and he's going to check with the tax lady to make sure that I have put enough aside next year. I don't want to have an issue. But yeah it's exciting. And it was good to hear dad. He sounds a lot better. And he's looking forward to coming on Sunday and I'm looking forward to having him here. We're going to patch holes but hopefully we'll also do something else. Maybe we'll eat some good food and maybe we'll go see something interesting. Unsure of what yet but I'll figure that out.

I called Jess next to let her know. And she was very excited for me. And then I went back to packing. I brought more stuff from the basement. I broke down all of my Furby boxes. I don't know why I'm keeping them but it feels weird to throw them away. So flat in the Middle East to put them in storage. And I use the box that I have been storing them in to put kitchen stuff in. Paper towels and Ziploc bags. That one bottle of alcohol I always have. And then I took a shower. I painted my toenails and I'm just watching videos and enjoying my night.

Back to lesson planning tomorrow. And then I think falafels with James. No matter what it's going to be a good day. I can feel it. Hope you all have a good night tonight. Be kind to each other. Go out of your way for someone else. Don't expect anything in return. Good night

[blackknightgargiemoviephile]

Review: I went to watch MJ: This Is It movie and only one word sums it all: AMAZING!!

I was rather intrigued when the trailer came out and my boo showing it to me. I mean, this is the first time a concert footage was made into a movie. Usually this kind of stuff is done into a straight-to-DVD style, but to broadcast it out like this in big screen, it was something well worth to look forward to.

My fiance's eldest bro-in-law's friend works at the cinema as the guy who fixes up all the ads and trailers before a movie sequence and he said the show was coming to Brunei and he can pull some strings into booking tickets for us. We jumped to the chance to make our booking and waited anxiously for the show.

Once the show starts and played throughout that almost 2 hours, it was mind-blowing. I won't spoil it for those who haven't watched it, but man, it was amazing! He had made so much planning and tons of big-scale stuff that would totally hype up and top off what he usually does on stage back then. It was totally AWESOME! It almost felt so heartbreaking that this is the stuff that we would have seen if he had not gone from this world. He had made so much for us, and now it will never be, we will never see it in reality EVER again.

New dancers, new singers, mostly the younger generations, have actually auditioned for this before they officially started the rehearsals and out of more than 400 candidates (bloody hell, 400! Can you imagine?!), about a dozen and a half were chosen. They had the time of their lives, judging by the way they hung out with MJ doing his rehearsals and training. Makes me feel so jealous. If I were to be able to go back in time, I would probably chose to apply a job here with them, even if it means being the janitor, I don't bloody care! As long as I can be with MJ! Though, probably throughout the rehearsal, you might find a lot of things belonging to MJ missing if they'd hired me~! LOL, fangirl dreams never cease to please.

The songs were nostalgic, and you couldn't help but sing along with it. Also, the dances and the beats were so nice, your body would just uncontrollably want to move along with it. And best of all, we're seeing him sing as it is, raw and live, without the crazy screaming fans in the background. Did you know that they originally scheduled for only 10 concerts, but then shockingly shot up to 50 by demand? It's almost the same number as MJ's age!

It feels kinda ironic and sad at the same time that when MJ said "This is it, this is the final curtain call" and those were probably the last words he had ever said to the public. Almost like a curse, a bad omen of a phrase. It tugged at my heartstrings (though not to the point of crying buckets, because to be honest, I'm not 100% a fan; I just like majority of his songs) to see that he's done so much here, putting so much effort into what he's doing and he could never bring it out anymore.

The friends of the guy who helped us book tickets were more excited than most. They LOL-ed at funny moments, cheered and whooped at the amazing things MJ had in store in his concert and clapped every time one song ends. I couldn't care less and took the advantage of Bruneians ignoring nature (it's their style: If you're doing something weird that does not concern them, they will just ignore you and pretend nothing happened) and joined their hype as well, cheering and whooping and singing along with it, though short of actually clapping.

Once the show was over, I finally remembered my bladder that I was holding back for so long while watching the show was about to burst as I made a run for it to the toilet. Everyone really enjoyed it and talked about it once we're outside the cinema. It's a little disappointing for me to see that it wasn't a full house when I came into the cinema, because I would expect the King of Pop getting exposure even from Brunei friends, but I guess their mentality would be: Why pay to watch a rehearsal if it's not the real deal? It's just sad.

Thinking about it now, all we know that is mostly talked about MJ were his crimes of being pedo (which I never believe it to be true even though I'm not a 100% fan; they're just sueing for the money and the drama) and him being debts and his plastic surgery and stuff. All they could ever talk about was his bad. None of them ever thought about the fact that he had revolutionized pop music and all his achievements and contribution to the public. No one ever thought of his good, always the bad, almost like the saying "You can take a lifetime to build trust, but one second to destroy it all". And now that he is dead, suddenly everyone keeps focusing on his good side, even the media, as if it was enough to make up for all their sins of doubting MJ. They couldn't even put a good word on him when he was ALIVE, how is giving him a good word when he's DEAD gonna make any difference? I got a feeling that they made this movie not just for the sake to dedicate him, but also for the sponsors, to cover their losses over MJ's supposed concert that they spent millions on. I swear, it's bloody "human nature" (pun from MJ's song intended).

Anywho, it's a great show that no one should ever miss. Go watch it! I recommend it. Relive MJ's final moments with his entertainment family and witness the magic that he had intended to give us.

[pbandjesse]

I don't feel great again. Today was a mixed bag. I felt real bad last night. And I was awake half the night because of aniexty about waking up late. James's alarm went off at 630 and he left. I got up not long after and got dressed. I actually felt okay. Like not 100% but alright. I called a lyft and headed to the UMBC campus.

My driver was very sweet but we were both confused when we got there. She got out and asked some people but I could see people woth posterboards so I figured that was where I was supposed to be. So i headed there.

I found a couple people from the BMI I know. So that was nice. And I got to talk to some nice people. Interesting people. I was for sure the youngest person in the room but I didnt feel dumb. I was excited.

I was in the exhibition group. Senior exhibitions. And i had a blast. There was some awesome trifolds. And some lack luster ones. The 5 i got to help judge ran the gambet. Just okay. To such outstanding research i was blown away.

We saw a board about Auschwitz, 911, polio, the stock market crash, and a preliminary Dday event cakled Exercise Tiger. And that one just blew me out of the water. The other judges as well. Basically it was a practoce for DDay where almost 800 people died from friendly fire. It was crazy. And they had gotten a ton of diaries and letters and docunents that were first person from an archive in Tennessee. It was just incredible work. We nominated them for a special award because they were just so good. And their display was shaped like a boat and that was so cool.

I had a really good time. We had lunch and wrote all our notes. Ranked the exhibits. And then it was time to go. And i really lucked out because the bus was coming just as i got to the stop.

It took like an hour but i had a nice ride. Got to see parts of the county I hadnt seen before. And then I was in the harbor!

I went to go say hi to James. And he was chief on Constellation with two of the new people that I only briefly Matt. So when I got in the New Girl Becky asked me for a ticket and I said no you've met me before I'm James's girlfriend and she said oh I need your help. Because there had been a group that came and the store didn't want to print them tickets it was a whole thing and she couldn't get in contact with James. So I said I would go get him and send him down.

Turns out James on a tour which is why he hadn't answered his phone. So I went and found him and told him that there was an emergency upstairs. I probably should have just said situation but still. And so I told the people that I was going to take her for their torso I gave it to duck tour to me is very nice people. And it was very funny. Didn't think I'll be doing that again. But the guests were really nice and took it in stride and James handled the situation and came back into the last stack. I hung out for a little bit and talk to the new guy. He was very sweet. And then I went and walked around the harbor.

I went over to the submarine and I got to see mr. Ed and gave him a hug. We walked around a little bit and talked. And then I went to Marshalls and bought nail files. Because I don't have any that are working right now. They're all dead. And then I went back to Constellation.

I took over the desk because James had had a girl from the store washing it for him and I didn't my old job for free. And then I sat with James for a while and we talked. He was applying for some new jobs. I know it's hard but I'll find something eventually. He's just got to keep plugging away.

I was starting to lose steam though and I wanted to go home. So I said goodbye. He would bring us dinner later and we would do some stuff for the beginning of her move.

I went to go take the free bus. It took a really long time but it was beautiful out so I didn't mind. I listen to my podcast and and the bus came and I got to stop at CVS and then I went home. I changed and let Sweet pea run around outside. And I laid down.

I kind of have slept for like 2 hours. But I felt really bad when I woke up. James a text me the make sure that he had my order correct he came over with dinner. He got us Burger King. An eating helped but up until about 45 minutes ago I have felt horrible. Just on the verge of throwing up and dizzy. We were able to get a little bit done. James brought some stuff up from the basement and we move some stuff into the living room so we can easily put it in the car tomorrow. But I couldn't do as much as I was hoping. And we were supposed to go to his place and make some space but I just couldn't at all call myself together to do that.

We laid here for a while and James try to make me feel better. But I really just needed to try to do some small activity. He headed home to beat the rain and I decided to paint my toenails. And it helped.

I was able to refold all of my clothes that are in the storage trunk at the bottom of my bad. I'm hoping I can fit everything in my closet in there as well at least for the moving part. I don't know if they'll stay in there when I'm living at James but there is space at least.

And now I'm just watching a video and getting ready to go to bed. I'm going to wash my face and do my teeth and everything. Tomorrow I have the whole day off. My plan is to wake up in the morning do laundry. And then James is coming over after he helps his mom cleared some space in the garage and we're going to move a lot of my studio stuff over there. I moved a couple things or no basket that I might need but all I could think of was tape and hot glue so I'm not doing great about partial moving. I'm trying.

Will spend the afternoon taking stuff there and taking some stuff to his place. And then he has a shift at the theater. And then I hope I can work on just making sure all of my plans are ready for Tiffany on Tuesday and just the general last-minute Sunday things. I desperately hope I don't feel bad again. This has not been fun. I don't know what's going on and I hate it so much. I don't feel like I have a cold or the flu I don't know why I just feel so nauseous and horrible. It sucks.

I hope you all have a great night. Happy Mother's day early. Sleep well everyone