#THANK YOU FOR WAITING + STICKING WITH ME. SORRY I'M DISORGANIZED!!!

[sarcasticfina]

Hi Fina - I'm a huge fan of your TVD fics, it's been such a long time since I've read anything on FanFiction (probably well over a year) and then I got the notification that you had added a new chapter to your 'you know I will adore you (till eternity)' Bamon fic and decided to re-read the whole thing. And this has led me to decide to re-read all your old TVD fics. I was just wondering if you had a list of which ones you'd definitely be continuing with or not continuing with? - Raech xx

Progress, listed in order of most likely to get updated:

you know I will adore you ('til eternity)  - chapter 20 - 16k+ pre-edit, to be updated soon

the fire that was starting to spark (is starting to go out)  - chapter 4 - 4k+, there’s only about 2 chapters left of this story. i just waffle back and forth on whether i want her to forgive him or not, lol. 

love bites & recompense (i'll be with you until the end)  - epilogue - 6k+, choppy, needs a lot of work, had a few too many ideas of where i wanted it to go and now i feel weirdly blocked on it

it's the end of the world (as we know it) - chapter 16 - has not been started. i know the ending i want, but unfortunately i’m blocked on this one currently. i tend to re-read stories to get motivation but i also want to get ‘til eternity finished up before i get back to this one. 

to be the man who walked 1000 miles (to fall down at your door) - chapter 6 - not yet started - rewrites are a bitch and for a while there i actually had zero access to season 1, but i think it’s up on amazon prime again. this one is on the back burner for a bit while i focus on stories that are a lot closer to their finale. 

one day soon (I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon) - chapter 6 - 5k+, choppy and disorganized. i wrote myself into a corner covering so much history and trying to cover such a huge length of time so sometimes it feels a little too big to take on. this one’s on the back burner for a while. i think it’ll likely be something i work on more when i’m rewatching the series to write ‘1000 miles.’ 

again, sorry for the long waits in between stories. motivation for writing literally anything has been harder to come by in the last year, between an injury and mental exhaustion around covid, it’s been an uphill battle. but i do have plans to get back to each of these, it’s just going to take a while to tackle each. thanks for sticking around!

[teddybear-yn]

[all night - the vamps]

nct. jung jaehyun

last night’s craziness was just too much that some of it spilled onto the next morning

It was 3:16 am, and I was still wide awake. Outside, it was dark and foggy. Typical winter weather. In my mind, it was a mess of disorganized haywires - the type you wouldn't even bother yourself to fix anymore.

I try to convince myself that I couldn't fall asleep because of the stupid red bull and jet black cup of coffee I drank earlier.

But in reality, I knew I couldn't because of a new number sitting in my phone of a new guy that was waiting for me to text him first.

It all happened last night.

My group of friends and I normally were the bunch of quiet weirdos in the corner that you swore could talk to each other telepathically.

We were always laughing though, sometimes got in trouble, and went way back. All the way in middle school is where we all met and decided 'hey you're kinda cool, I'll stick with you'.

So when we were blasting music and singing obnoxiously last night? It came off as a bit of a shock to the kids that lived in the college street we raided.

It was just a whim honestly, I swear none of us were drunk or high then. In fact, we were all completely sober. Some crazy remnants still made me giggle.

We started the music at around 9pm, at first we just wanted to drive around, admiring the pretty buildings. The stereo's volume was on 26.

But then by our 6th round around the block, I was sitting on the window with my phone's flashlight on, singing obnoxiously to whatever song came on.

My friend, with her window down, conveniently had one of those echo mics and was singing to the top of her lungs despite not knowing half the lyrics.

The stereo's volume was on 99 and the bass boosters were switched on.

There were college kids playing tennis by the park then. It was almost 12am.

When the attractive group of guys came up to us, laughing, inviting us to a club party, we thought 'hey we're already getting crazy, why not go the extra mile and get drunk on a Tuesday night?’

Little did I know that that night would be a rollercoaster of emotions.

We got to the club around 1:30. All dressed up, I was feeling pretty and confident. That didn't normally happen. I wasn't the pretty one of the group.

Everything was a blur, How I was sick of dancing in the heels my friend lent me, so after a few minutes, I was the first in our group to trudge towards the bar barefoot.

I sat there watching them dance with a goofy smile on my face. We always talked about how we would all go completely crazy someday. Guess that was today. But then again maybe there were more and crazier days to come with them.

"You made it. So can I offer you a drink?" One of the guys that came up to us earlier in that attractive bunch? He was right next to me, looking more attractive as he was dressed up too.

"I'm Jaehyun. You and your friends are being hunted down by the police for the ruckus you guys made earlier, did you know that?" 

Shit. I always thought how it was odd that nobody came out and screamed at us earlier for being a driving teen concert.

Guess they didn't bother and went straight to the police.

"There aren't any cameras around there, right?" I ask nervously. After a chuckle, Jaehyun merely shrugged innocently. He should know he lives there. I glared at him, knowing that he should know.

"Okay, fine. There are cameras. But the most you'll get is a night in jail." That rang in my ears, threatening to spill out in vomit. A night in jail? My parents will kill me.

Jaehyun seems to notice my distraught as he asks me again if I wanted a drink. "A cup of coffee will be fine. Black. And some red bull."

Now that doesn't sound at all appealing, but I figured if I was spending a night in jail, there was no way in hell I would fall asleep.

"You were quite interesting earlier, almost hanging out of the car window and flailing." He chuckles again, not really helping with my stress really.

"In Psychology you were like a mouse, spoke little next to nothing and there you were, all crazy." Did he say Psychology? So I had a class with him?

Great, so some of my other classmates recognize me too then. The quiet chick that went crazy that one night. They'll think I went high on PCP.

Really this information did nothing but add to my stress. Now I was on the verge of tears as I held my head in my hands, roughly scratching my hair. “Shit.”

Remember how I said it was gonna be a rollercoaster? And I haven’t even had any alcohol yet.

My mental breakdown seemed to catch Jaehyun's attention.

"Look if you're that stressed. My uncle's the head of this district's police..." He starts off.

"I can only ask him a few times, but I can ask him to waive you guys off." Sniffling, I looked up to him in broken hope. "Can you really?"

Next thing I know Jaehyun kisses my cheek and makes a call on his phone. As he was talking on the phone, I sat there like statue, mortified by the kiss. Did he normally kiss people he just met?

"I know, this'll be my last. At least for this semester. I know one of them, the one hanging off the window, yeah. Thanks, don't tell mom." After that, Jaehyun just looks back at me with a dimpled smile on his face.

"Now you won't have to worry about that anymore." He beamed. He was right, I didn't have to worry about that cause now, I had to worry about how much I owe him. And that kiss on my cheek, Jesus Christ.

I know how this worked, his favor wasn't for free.

"Your number." The phrase 'this'll be my last' particularly rang in my head, drowning me in guilt.

I was the only one whose face was caught outside the car, I could've turned myself in and not bother anyone, especially my friends.

"I said your number would make it up." Only then was I snapped out, when Jaehyun put a hand on my thigh. I flinched away from it. And he took the signal.

"If you give me your number we'll be even." Why did he want my number? Reluctantly, I gave it to him and he gave his. Not knowing where this was going I started to look for my friends in the crowd, to leave.

But before I stood up and actually leave, Jaehyun grabbed my wrist, the same dimpled smile on his face.

"I won't force you to talk to me, so I'll wait for your text first, okay? Just don't leave me hanging." He said and with that I walked away, grabbing all 3 of my drunk friends and driving us home.

His smile softened me a bit, with the two dimples that added an extra cuteness to his face. Darn he was cute.

When we got home, it was 2:48am. I got all the girls out of their clothes, forced them to shower and drink a full glass of water before doing so myself.

As I got out of the shower, I saw them giggling amongst themselves like teenagers, stopping when they saw me.

"What is it?" I walked up to them, drying my hair with my towel.

"When are you texting Jaehyun?" My best friend asked me excitedly as if she couldn't hold it in anymore. But her question honestly just reminded me about that incident. With Jaehyun.

"How do you know about that?" Brushing it off, it seems my attempt at changing the topic only made it worse. Now they started squealing while my best friend kept saying 'i told you so'.

"I told you he was into her! Why else would he go all the way around the car to ask us to his party. And through her! He was even leaning to her earlier." She said all in one breath, but not without emphasizing some specific parts.

It took me a while to realize what on earth she was talking about. And without my other friend's help, I wouldn't have.

"She's talking about how earlier Jaehyun and his friends were closer to the right side of the car and could've asked her if we wanted to go to the party because she had her window down. We all did.." I see my best friend nodding triumphantly.

"But he went all the way around the car to ask you on the other side and he was leaning in too. So we figured he liked you."

That's it? They were basing these assumptions out of that one small detail. Pssh.

"It's the small things that matter." They all tell me. Great, now I'm starting to believe it.

Just as I was about to delete his number and forget it ever happened too.

"Oh, let's all just go to sleep. We still have class tomorrow." I hurriedly downed a glass of water (but then remembering I didn't really drink tonight) and usher the girls into their rooms.

Now it was 3:16am and I was still wide awake. The past few hours felt like a dream. I held my heart and still felt the adrenaline of the party and us driving around college street with our volume maxed.

I held my phone in my hands, switched on and on Jaehyuns contact. Something in me wanted to see if he really wouldn't text me first like he said, but a bigger part was telling me to go and not leave the guy hanging.

Who am I kidding? He probably has a bunch of girls' numbers that's why he didn't want to text me first. Cause he was too busy with the others. I wouldn't be leaving him hanging.

But here I was, typing and erasing words in my phone repeatedly. A never-ending cycle. Again, a rollercoaster.

sent

would you really not text me first even if you had my number?

My heart felt like it was stuck in my throat as I threw my phone to other side of my room. Only to stand up and pick it up as I hear the familiar ding of a new message.

received

honestly, I would have. but now I'm just glad you didn't leave me hanging.

A blush was creeping up my face as I read his text. He was glad I texted him.

sent

I never really said thank you for getting your uncle to waive us. so, thank you.

God, I felt so cringey and strange.

received

you're welcome. just don't do it again because that was my last favor from him probably and you could've gotten hurt hanging off the car window like that.

Now, I really felt strange. It was something I couldn't explain, like I felt lured so much into this Jaehyun I just met. I didn't even notice the smile on my face that came up since his first text.

sent

I'm sorry I took your last :( I'll make it up however I can.

received

you can make it up by eating out with me tomorrow after classes?

sent

sure, I'll pay for wherever you want to eat

received

as a date and I'll pay. it's only right that I should

There it was again, the feeling where it felt like my heart was stuck in my throat. Anyone seeing me would think I was a maniac with how I was smiling so weirdly into my phone.

sent

alright but you choose where to eat

I texted Jaehyun so that I could fall asleep, but now it was 5:12am and the sun was starting to rise. We basically texted each other for 2 hours straight.

I knew all these stupid facts about Jaehyun now too. About how he's a music major, he had a lot of friends - 17 of them and some were still in highschool, he lived in California for 4 years - or was that Connecticut, and how he actually legally changed his name to Yoonoh but just didn't use it cause it sounded like someone else's.

received

it's 5:30 already. when's your first class?

sent

7...

received

you should go to sleep now. wouldn't want you falling asleep in class, babe.

sent

alright. goodnight, Jae.

received 

goodnight, darling. 

Babe and darling. I just met this man last night, technically, this morning. But already, Jung Jaehyun was becoming the death of me.

A/N. so my friends and i did this crazy thing where we drove around a college district at 9pm on a tuesday night, with our windows down, volume on max, and bass boosters switched on. we got in trouble but it felt so...

[todokori-kun]

The fix was quicker than I expected! Dad’s bringing it (the computer) home today :D

someone needs to photoshop smiling cherubs and flowers around them

OH whoops, sorry about the misunderstanding ^^;; Idk what I even want to happen to the Touken baby, I just don’t want it to die in the womb.

Uta/Touka child might also be pretty attractive, now that I think about it ;)

(Uta/Rize or Uta/Itori child would look even better though)

I was in a nice, fluffy mood when I wrote that. Unfortunately, as I’m going to get my computer back and will be able to start working on the Heathers AU again tonight, this will probably be the last you’ll see of Cinnamon Roll Evans for a while :) 

YES I read the new Kuro chapter! Honestly I disliked the 2CT for various reasons  but now that it’s actually become canon I think I feel a little better about it (also, is it just me or does ‘real’ Ciel look a bit different from 'our’ Ciel on the last page? His face looks too…perfect, if that makes sense). I’m excited to see what this means for Lizzy’s relationship with both Ciels and Undertaker’s connection to the Phantomhives!

Oh, actually I agree with you there? What I meant by 'op’ is more of a really strong character, not an overpowered one ^^;; sorry, I’ll try to explain myself better:

Super strong characters like Levi, Mikasa, the Titan Trio, Kaneki, Eto, Arima, Sebastian…they are all technically 'op’ (especially Sebastian, dude has literally no weaknesses so far). However, they work because they also have traits that interest us beyond just their strength. Kaneki is a lonely child, a selfish person with a fear of being left behind, drifting and unable to find a reason to live. Levi is an orphan who was raised by a serial killer- he clawed his way up to where he is now. Annie is a sixteen-year-old trained into a killing machine from childhood, she went through life believing that the only person she could trust was her father, and she was desperate to return to him.

(It’s also difficult because everyone seems to have a different definition of 'op’; I personally just use it to jokingly refer to powerful characters or when I talk about strong characters whose power levels are inconsistent with canon to the point where it gets ridiculous (example: we know titan shifters take some time to heal, so if a titan shifter came along who could be behaded then have their head instantly stick back onto their neck like some sort of AoT version of Noro, I’d consider them OP).)

I guess what I was trying to say was that it’s fine to have strong characters, just make sure that they have an actual personality (readers need a reason to care about the characters, after all!) and that their powers make sense? ^^;;

(Also, I think I might have sounded a bit passive-aggressive or rude during this convo about op characters, I'm really sorry if I did OTL I didn’t mean to, but when I reread my comments I realized they could come off that way)

I agree with you about the AoT OCs though. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of good ones…actually, most OCs I see for popular fandoms aren’t very interesting. Other than the powers or character designs the thing that bothers me is the lack of proper personality (why do so many people think 'happy’ is a personality trait???).

And definitely agree 100% on the angsty backstory. Like, that’s just overkill. There’s a difference between tragedy and being edgy. (It also sort of depends on how good the writer is at conveying emotion and handling the angst, but for the most part stuff like that is

That’s a great way to do things! :D I’m really, really disorganized when it comes to making characters…usually a concept pops into my head and I run with it, adding in details along the way. Tatsuo was created when I wanted to make a male TG OC and suddenly this image of a smug-looking guy with a long black ponytail popped into my head, Naomi started from the idea of making a character with the themes of 'self-discovery’ 'identity’ and 'lies’ woven into their arc. Louisa was literally born from an outfit- I randomly thought of an outfit that looked really pretty and traditionally feminine, yet was actually very practical when you looked closer. Then I tried to imagine what kind of person would wear these clothes and that was Louisa…

idk, I’m bad at explaining stuff haha

(also: Tatsuo was also inspired by various vampire characters I saw in anime/manga, books and TV shows. He’d be so offended if he knew LOL in fact, he just might serve me for dinner at the restaurant or something ;-;)

TYSM! I’m really glad you’ve liked all three of my OCs so far, thank you for listening to me ramble about my babies (actually only Naomi is my baby, Tatsuo and I disowned each other and Louisa moved out) <33333

As for Lou, I’ll send you some more info about her after I develop her a bit more if you like? :) For now, a few random things:

-rarely shows emotions like anger or sorrow

-not because she’s bottling them up, but because she’s learned how to handle them in a healthy way

-always smells like mint for some reason

-maybe because she’s addicted to mint tea

-her bodyguard suspects she doesn’t drink water at all and lives on the stuff

-she also likes strong flavors

-has the kind of bright, pretty smile that makes you want to trust her

-so you do

-and you (probably) get killed

-had a girlfriend named Iris once, a nice, sensible girl who managed to keep her from getting too buried in her work and various plans for her family and took care of her in ways that her bodyguard couldn’t (AKA somehow got her to realize that mint tea does not equal a proper meal)

-unfortunately Iris did not know that Lou can be a bit terrible

-she walked in on Lou casually wiping the blood off of her knife with the dead body of a certain businessman on the floor in front of her

-“Oh, Iris. What are you doing here, darling? I thought I asked the servants to keep you upstairs, my private meetings can be a bit messy… Iris? Love, are you quite alright? You look a little pale…”

-Well, that was the end of that relationship

XD the titan designs are one of the best things about AoT, in my opinion. You could make a gallery out of all the pictures of them that that have appeared in the anime and the manga so far lol

Oh, really? Hope you enjoy/ed the list then :D was it ok??? (Part 2 was intended to smash feels)

Sweet! That wasn’t so long ^^

I know you meant Voldy and Draco by the flower statement but...

I’m this close to finding a physical copy of the manga and throwing it in the fire while yelling ‘Lighten the fuck up’.

Gimme the Uta/Itori love child now, pretty please. Damn, that would be one attractive baby. 

And now I fear for my life. Great. Well, more for my hear than for my life, but whatever.

Well, I never really had a formed opinion on the 2CT theory, but I did read a few things about it. I didn’t expect it to be true, though. Welp, now we can assume it is true, and I am SHOOK Here’s an accurate description of me during the chapter.

I think that might be since he’s a tiny bit more similar to Vincent, while Our Ciel is more similar to Rachel. I mean, we know that there are physical differences between the two (if we assume that Real Ciel is the one who was previously Lizzy’s fiancé), because Real Ciel is taller than Our Ciel.

Yep, I definitely can’t wait to see where it’ll go from now. I remember seeing a post that said ‘This is the biggest shock to the fandom since we found out Undertaker was fuckable’

Also: Our!Ciel: three years ago I lost my dear twin brother to some cultists and a demon. Real!Ciel: Quit telling everyone I'm dead! Our!Ciel: Sometimes I can still hear his voice...

Oh, I see! I always think of OP as OverPowered, that’s why I got a bit defensive ^^;;;;;

Well, like you said, everyone has their own definition of OP.  Sometimes, I’ll even think of OCs who have trait that’s already specific to another character as OP, like Titan-Shifter OCs, or OCs with a plot basically the same to a canon character (not OP but very irritating) And don’t get me started on Demon-Contracted OCs in the Kuro fandom. Those make me want to defenestrate myself.

Yup, I have no problems with strong characters as long as they’re not ridiculously strong and aren’t there purely because of that power, but they also have personality.

Don’t worry, I reread my original statement about OP characters and was like ‘man this sounds so bitchy and high and might hnnnngh’ but couldn’t find a way to rephrase it properly ^^;; So, no worries, I know how you feel ^^

Well, for some reason, it seems that the people who make believable OCs are either lazy or scared to post theirs. Or they simply don’t care. The ones with Mary Sues like to holler at people with ‘LOOK AT MY BAE CHARACTER AREN’T THEY PERFECT???’

There’s this blog I follow (it’s gone inactive, unfortunately) that takes Mary Sues and breaks them down (well, the correct term would be make fun of, but they do offer some advice on how to improve them), and you wouldn’t believe the shit I found there.  Here’s the link if you want.

For some reason, people seem to think that the edgier the backstory, the ‘more original’ the character, which (of course) isn’t true, because that means everyone will have a super tragic backstory that no longer makes sense.  Another thing I’ve noticed is that they sometimes avoid some pretty important details like ‘Character was born into a healthy, happy family. One thing led to another and the family was killed, while character was molested (a very common backstory theme) and taken in by a cult’ and I’m like ???

My character usually start out like this: *luna is watching a show*  OK BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS A CHARACTER WHO-

And so a new character is born. 

But your ways of starting a character are also quite interesting ^^ Especially by looking at an outfit!  I ALWAYS WANNA LISTEN TO YOU RAMBLE ABOUT CHARACTERS! 

Titans make me laugh, honestly. Like, these are supposed to be the main bad creatures? Steampunk zombies (kabaneri) look scarier than that.

It was the hulk smash of feels :-))))