#Sydney is awesome but she's. so much like me in the way where I cringe at her sometimes LMAO

[lylahammar]

I've been rewatching the first two seasons of The Bear so I can watch the third season that just came out and man the character writing in this show makes me froth at the mouth it's like some of the best arcs I've ever seen in a TV series

[zwiezraczek]

Nice To Meet You - Chapter 1

Niall Horan x Sydney (oc)

PROLOGUE - CHAPTER 1: Lights Up

SUMMARY: Sydney knew that this job was something else for her, that it wouldn’t be as simple as it used to be with other celebrities. But she was ready to face it, and to face love too...

WORDS: 3.5k

NOTE: Okay, I love developing relationships and I’m probably into developing first a relationship between Sydney and Harry while only hinting something with Niall for the moment(even if I think that my hints are like PRETTY MUCH OBVIOUS but hey). Perrie’s introduction was like... Complicated. Because I wanted her to be supportive of Sydney, while knowing that she couldn’t fully trust her so yes... Ambiguous Perrie. But she’s love. I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! 💕

DISCLAIMER: This story is all fiction and fun, I respect all the boys and this is just a piece of fiction out of my mind, all the relationships and events thay will be portrayed are fake (I mean, in the way I put them) and I know it.  I don't want to harm anyone with this either so enjoy this writing or if it makes you uncomfortable I just not recommend you to read it. Love and peace and kindness to all of you 💕

TAGLIST: Leave a comment to be a part of it!

Sydney was nervous and tense. She could sense some shivers down her spine as she was sitting in the hallway waiting for Harry's manager to come out. Signing the papers was the first stage of their relationship, getting along was another, but it was the first time for her being introduced to his bandmates as what she actually was. A comedian playing a role, nothing else. Usually her clients were more keen on faking the relationship only between her and them, not sharing with anyone what truly linked them and why they were together. It was always easier for everybody once they had to split after a longer moment, but here it was a requirement of his management and Sydney couldn't refuse what they wanted. They were paying her on her terms and that was the least she could do in this very tricky situation.

She wasn't nervous because they were huge superstars, loved and supported by millions, but because they were five friends seeming to love and care for each other. She had studied them, one by one after she had signed the contract for good. She had looked them up on instagram, they all had nice feeds to look at and seemed to be pretty funny, and protective of each other on twitter. She saw the wars that had once occurred with another boyband, she saw the love poured on them and the love they poured on each other. She saw the videos too and saw how happy they looked around each other, and how clingy they all were. Especially Harry, being the youngest of the group he seemed to be protected by others at the very beginning, then the tendency shifted on Niall. Niall, the Irish one, with his endless laughs and a smile going on forever. He seemed to have the ability to laugh for everything and anything, and most of the time when Sydney watched the videos she found herself laughing with him under her blanket while the boys were joking during interviews. They were all nice, but would they be nice to her?

“Mrs.Sydney,” a man asked and she looked up from behind her sunglasses with a little smile.

“Yes it is me,” she replied and the man invited her in the room.

She stood up, arranged her large bottle green sweater and entered confidently in the room, or faking the confidence that was leaving her body when she met all five of them. When she first put her eyes on the band, they looked as if they came straight from the cover of a magazine. All their eyes were on her, severe and cold. She felt shivers again. She was absolutely impressed by the men standing in front of her, and she truly believed that whatever she would do would be held against her. Harry stood in the middle, surrounded by, on his left, Zayn and Louis, and on his right, Liam and Niall. She felt like an intruder, and it was the first time she felt that way. Everytime she met her client it was in an intimate space where they could talk about everything and anything about their relationship, it was always away from their surroundings. But here, it was different and she thought she was ready, but she really wasn't. They were facing her, with their grave looks and their crossed arms – only Niall had his hands behind his back – and Harry stood right in the middle, like a child protected by his brothers. Sydney felt small and meaningless for a moment.

“So, boys this is Sydney,” the man that entered right after her said in a happy tone and the boys seemed to cringe a bit. They were uncomfortable, maybe as much as Sydney was, but at least they had each other. “She'll be around Harry for a moment, she's a professional.”

“Yeah, just like the ones before,” Louis said and the violence of his tone made Sydney feel a bit guilty, something she refused to be for a long time. But something about his voice obliged her to yield to the force of guilt.

“It happens sometimes Louis,” their manager said and brushed off the subject. “I'm introducing her to you so you know who this amazing lady is when she'll be around, and so you won't be surprised.” Sydney could see Liam roll his eyes as the man spoke. “So, Sydney, from left to right, Niall, Liam, Zayn and Louis, they are lovely lads really.” Louis coughed really loudly just after the man spoke. Will be nice, she thought.

“Nice to meet you all, I know it isn't common or may seem a little bit off but I'm very excited about working with you. I'm happy to be able to help.”

“Yes, the other one said the same thing too,” Louis whispered and his voice was immediately covered by Liam's.

“We're glad to have you here,” he said and Zayn nodded calmly while putting his arm around Louis' shoulders.

“Great great,” the manager said while clapping his hands and Sydney just thanked him internally because it was becoming very awkward for the six of them. “Now, all we need is to settle a version for our lovebirds' encounter,” he said and invited the boys and Sydney to sit on the sofa and the chairs that were disposed in the room.

Happily, the man exposed to all of them his story for the fresh and cute couple while Sydney sat far from Harry, who was still shielded by his friends. They saw her as a threat, and all she could have been asking herself was who hurt this man so badly. All Sydney knew was that she didn't want to be part of the team his friends were protecting him from. However, she carefully listened to their little made up love story that looked like a bad scenario from a romantic comedy, but they were her clients so she had nothing else to say. They met at a party and Harry texted her, they met afterwards and now they were a thing. All details were left to them to confirm and to work on, but the core of the story sounded as fake as it should. Sydney almost sighed, and caught Niall looking at her for a moment, but as soon as she laid her eyes on him, he looked at Harry. Sydney was about to lose it all, working in such an environment was about to not be as fun as she predicted it.

Being put under the spotlight that soon wasn't what she had expected in the very first place. She knew that her first appearance in Harry's life had to be big, but not that big. Not at a charity concert, not while being surrounded by this many people looking at her as if she was a complete stranger, without any proper introduction. This was probably the most stressful situation she has ever been put in during her small career, usually her clients were almost clinging on to her and showing her off to any living soul that wanted to hear about their little story and their new, loving and caring relationship. But Harry ran away as soon as she arrived, talking about some rehearsing. But he greeted her, which was already a big win on her side. He has been avoiding her for the past few days, and Sydney began to ask herself if she wasn't in a fake relationship with not him but his manager.

So Sydney wandered around, as close to the boys' fitting room as she could, looking as excited as she could and was, and somebody asked her what she was doing there and then she could pull out the Harry Styles card by asking them that she looked out for him and that she was a... Friend of his. The man didn't paid too much attention it seemed because he told her that One Direction were rehearsing right now and showed her how she could get to the stage where all the magic was happening. And with great enthusiasm, Sydney made her way through the hallways in order to see them sing. From afar, she heard some verse to “Story Of My Life”. She would lie if she said that song didn't move her even a little. The evolution they had gone through during the past four years was really awesome, going from singing teenage bangers to ballad-like sounds which really were pleasant to Sydney's ears. Their voices were truly beautiful and soft, carrying all the emotion the song needed to touch one's heart. And Sydney found herself drifting away, as she leaned on the barrier right in front of her, looking up at the boys singing and rehearsing their movements. When she finally settled down for a moment, it was Louis' turn to sing, his eyes closed, focused on the words he was about to say, and Harry right next to him with a faint smile on his face. His blue eyes were looking at Louis, with a kind of fondness she didn't see earlier, not in person at least. And when she began to question this fondness, a hand was put on her shoulder, making her turn around.

“You're Sydney, right,” a girl right behind her asked and Sydney saw Perrie Edwards, Zayn's girlfriend. She wasn't ready for this meeting, not at all, but she should have been. She just nodded shyly. “Nice to meet you, I'm Perrie, Zayn's girlfriend!”

“Nice to meet you,” she replied as Perrie shook her hand with the brightest smile ever, “I'm Harry's friend,” she stuttered as she didn't know how she should introduce herself for the moment, even to Harry's surroundings.

“Oh yes, the one Zayn talked to me about the other day,” she casually said and hugged her, with her chin resting on Sydney's shoulder to whisper: “I know, I'm aware of the situation. Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone.”

Sydney felt an adrenaline rush in her veins. This job was about to be the death of her. Perrie's smile reappeared in front of her, sunny and adorable. She knew that the boys knew, but she wasn't aware of the fact that their girlfriends could also know, and that began to become a bit problematic for her job. Maybe even a little more than problematic because the more people knew the less the secret was kept, statistics said so. And Sydney hated statistics for a reason. She just smiled awkwardly and Perrie took her by the hand, a genuine expression on her face.

“I'm going to show you around a bit, I know the place pretty much because I performed here, so at least you won't bore yourself to death out here while the boys are rehearsing.”

Sydney didn't really know what to do as she was dragged on an adventure on her own, with one of her fake boyfriend's bandmates, aware of the whole situation. She asked herself if Perrie was a good actress of genuinely a nice person because of the way she acted with her while knowing who she really was. Especially after seeing the boys' reaction to her irruption in Harry's life. Which was truly understandable, Sydney couldn't deny that. But Perrie seemed to sincerely show her around, joking about some places and even talking about her band, Little Mix, as if she had known Sydney for a long time. Was she playing around in order to give the people around some suspicion about her and why she was there as Harry's “friend”? If she was, Perrie had a beautiful career in hiding secrets and making things believable to the public eye, for a mere second Sydney thought what it would be like to be her stunt because it seemed to be a perfect person to hang out around during trying times like these. They shared some laughs, fake or not Sydney couldn't really tell, and talked about things and other and to be quite frank, Sydney felt comfortable around her, and maybe a bit bolder than intended because she dared to ask her questions about the relationship she was in. Something she refused to do for a long time, usually because nobody around knew, but if Perrie was just playing along, even if she was only in Harry's team, she would help her at least a little, just as she was helping here right at the moment.

“Perrie,” Sydney almost whispered, looking around in order to see if they were in a safe space and indeed the room they were in seemed to be that kind of place, “how... Well, how should I handle all of this?” Perrie immediately closed the door, inspecting if anyone was there and then she nodded to her to continue. “I mean, this is the first time so many people know what I'm doing, I mean so many people around the concerned person. And this is making the things difficult for me because... I try to be friends with him, or at least to make it pleasant and to not annoy him more than this situation is.”

“Well,” she sighed and leaned on the door behind her, “the boys really do love each other, and they won't let you approach Harry more than you should.”

“And this is what makes things difficult,” Sydney said and Perrie looked a little confused, “I know my boundaries, but I just don't want all of this to be painful for him, not to be just a 'girlfriend to show off' but to make him feel comfortable around me, something the guys are preventing me from.”

“You care a lot about him, don't you?”

“I care about him being comfortable, nothing more. It's my job to help him out from a difficult situation I'm not aware of, and I need to be able to not make a difficult time out of being his girlfriend like this. I want Harry to be happy, or at least to forget that it's all fake and just have fun while being with me, as platonically as possible, but as romantically as possible for the press.”

“You're the first one of his stunts to ask me how to make him feel happy and not 'what it is like to date a guy from One Direction',” Perrie admitted and walked towards Sydney and put her hands on her shoulders. “It's very nice, you're lovely. I'm going to talk with Zayn about it, and I'll keep in touch with you, alright love?”

She was playing along for the full time, Sydney thought but now she was seeing the true Perrie. At least, a little bit of her true self. She couldn't really tell if she was as open as she was at that very moment, but she knew that Perrie could think that she was faking it all, because they were other stunts, other girls around probably making it difficult for Harry apparently. It touched her to know that she was the first one to ask about him, and how to make the things the less awkward possible around him, and not only to want attention. It also made her sad thinking that other stunts weren't as considerate as she was, at least not the ones that Harry had known.

“Thank you Perrie,” Sydney whispered. It was the first time she could ask for help with her client, without feeling guilty, without feeling like cheating. And even if Perrie was doing it for the sole purpose of serving Harry's interest, it was nice that she was willing to help Sydney out.

“Thank you for caring for the boys' well being Sydney. Now,” she said and quickly took her phone out her jeans pocket, “I'm following you on instagram so we can keep in touch for all these things and how the discussion went with Zayn. Take this and type your username.” As soon as she got Perrie's phone, she did as asked and gave it back to her. “Now, we need to go and have fun at the concert because you need to see what being a Directionner is like!”

She took Sydney by the hand again, and rushed her trough the hallways. At that very moment, Sydney knew that Perrie wasn't totally playing along.

When the lights went down, and she stood in the vip section during the concert, she could feel many eyes on her as Perrie held her by the waist and danced with her with a smile. What was even more surreal was hearing the fans behind them – Sydney didn't dare to watch all these persons crying and singing along. She felt the energy of the whole room being poured on her, the music, the artists, everything and even more. She let herself go a bit, enjoying the moment until One Direction's appearance on stage. They were properly introduced by the host, and the hall went silent after a ton of applause. She held her breath against her will for a moment, and then, the light illuminated the group. Harry stood at the very front, slowly making his way towards the edge of the scene, she noticed that he was shaking a bit. He was tense, and his jaw clenched until he began to sing. “Written on these walls are the stories that I can't explain” and then, he locked his blue eyes with hers for a mere second. Sydney couldn't really tell what all of this meant, but he winked at her. Almost secretly, but she was sure that the camera caught it, as well as her face while he did it: a total surprise as Perrie was swaying with her. Sydney was taken aback by this gesture, and Harry didn't seem to mind as he continued singing without even flinching. The circle of the boys moved, allowing Liam to be the one standing in front of the audience as Harry moved on the left. While being kept captive of this sudden change of attitude, she however managed to enjoy their performance. Perrie decided to stand next to her after a while, and Sydney could look at her and her loving looks when Zayn walked by, with a smile for her. They truly seemed deeply in love. From time to time, Sydney saw Louis smiling at Harry, for a mere second before looking at the audience again. His smile was bright and radiant, and so caring. But Sydney was mostly captivated by Harry himself and Niall. He had something special that didn't allow one to avoid his smile, his face and his blond hair. Syney's eyes were bouncing from Harry to Niall and from Niall to Harry, sometimes passing by Louis's smile. The atmosphere was magical.

And once they were done, Perrie grabbed Sydney by the hand in order to take her backstage to see the boys. With all of this rush, Sydney was glad to have someone by her side in order to guide her in the halls and through this hectic place. When they arrived, it was the time of the group hug and Sydney witnessed this magical moment with her own eyes. Harry, the tallest, was wrapping them with his long arms, holding tight onto Louis's sweater as the other boys were hugging each other too. And, while Harry's expression was the most relaxed Sydney has ever seen while being this close to him, he noticed her and immediately stopped the hug. And she felt like an intruder again.

“Guys, you were fantastic,” Perrie said with her enthusiastic smile and Zayn looked at her fondly.

“Thank you Pez,” he replied.

“Yes, it was a great performance I loved it,” Sydney said with a confident smile while still standing next to Perrie, whose hand was now held by Zayn's. She truly was an intruder.

“Great to hear,” Niall replied and his smile almost blinded her, so much joy.

“Happy to hear that, dear,” Harry said right after looking at his manager who stood right on his left. “It really means a lot to me to know that you liked it.”

She didn't feel like pushing the conversation further, because now she could sense how uncomfortable Harry was while speaking with her, even if she was standing there, still, not trying to hug him or to force anything. She could have, but she knew that all of this would be useless. Instead, she smiled and blushed as he said that. She wanted to seem cute, nothing more. She couldn't be clingy with him, not until they would become more comfortable around each other, and even the looks from his manager wouldn't make her do the move. She was the professional, he said it himself, and they had to cope with her ways of working if they wanted this relationship to work well and to be believable. And Harry smiled. It was probably the most genuine smile she had received from him since the very beginning.

[featherxquill]

Fics Wot I Wrote in 2019 (and the 2010s in general!)

So it’s the end of a decade, and I wrote some fic this year! I am going to do the usual list, but I thought I might modify the end-of-year meme into an end-of-decade meme, and have a bit of a look back at the fandoms I’ve written in and the fics I wrote throughout the 2010s, because it’s certainly been a more diverse decade than the last!

So, here is the list of Stuff From This Year:

January 28: The Witch of South Kensington - The Infinite Bad - G - Cornelia and Sebastian and a weird, well, infinitely bad sort of domesticity

April 7: to beckon me in languages i’ve never learned - James Bond - Bond/M - E - M decides what bendings of her will she’s willing to forgive

October 18: If Not Me - Arc of a Scythe - Curie/Faraday - T - Faraday fishes Curie out of the water, and they make the long road-trip back to Conclave together

It’s been a bit of a transition year for me, but look! I have been writing! And there’s one more fic I have completed this year but not yet posted, and it’s a long bastard, so I am quite happy with myself.

And here is the little meme thing, though I’ve modified it a bit to reflect on the decade, because I thought that might be fun.

Fandoms I have written in during the 2010s: Harry Potter, Sanctuary, Scott & Bailey, The Infinite Bad, James Bond, Arc of a Scythe. There are few other things I wrote for Yuletides past, too, but I wouldn’t specifically call that participation in those fandoms, so I’ve left them off.

First fic of the decade: An Interesting and Difficut Woman (HP, Muriel/Ollivander, E)

Last fic of the decade: If Not Me (linked above) or, really, the unpublished monster-fic that is now awaiting beta

Longest fic of the decade: One Time Thing (S&B, Gill/Julie, E). This is my longest fic of all-time, actually, and will remain so even when I publish my new thing. 50K. How did I even. I had a full-time job in 2015, though I do remember starting it before that job happened.

Shortest fic of the decade: Was a Yuletide treat drabble thing about Robot Unicorn Attack, but I’m going to go with a thing I am actually still pretty proud of, Burning, which is 173 words of slightly dark Albus/Minerva, that it turns out I’m glad I posted to ao3, because the LJ comm it was originally written in a comment on has now been deleted and purged.

Something I learned while writing in the 2010s: That I am capable of moving on to new fandoms, though probably not being truly multi-fandom. I have learned that I am serially monogamous, fannishly. Apart from Yuletides past, which have always been a bit of a holiday deviation, I rarely go back to back to writing in a fandom once a new one takes hold of me, something that sometimes makes me sad, but the muse wants what it wants, I guess. I think I move on when I am ready to. I started the decade still firmly in HP, where I had been since roughly 2003, and by now I have cycled through several new interests, which can be happy or melancoly depending on the way I look at it (I am generally not sad to move on to new ideas, but I am sometimes sad that moving to new fandoms sometimes means losing touch with friends from old ones).

Something I’m surprised about when I look back at my fic over the decade: That I can look back at my first fic of the decade, and really most things I have written in the past ten years, and still be damn proud of them. I think part of it is age and maturity, but an even larger part of it is that in about 2008 I started regularly using a BETA, and ever since, I can look back at the things I have written and be proud rather than cringing. Seriously, a good beta is worth her weight in gold, and I have known a few. Hold onto your betas, peeps, and if you don’t have one, GET ONE. Your future self will thank you.

Something that I miss: The comment culture of LJ, and the general tight-knit-ness of my little corner of fandom there. Fandom is now definitely a diaspora, and I have made many wonderful connections in the years since I moved to tumblr/twitter, but god do I miss the comment culture of things like LJ fic exchanges in particular. That might also in part be me missing being a part of a fandom that was LARGE even within its niches. But the muse wants what it wants, lol.

Something that makes me happy: The friends that I have made in my fandoms of the decade - shit, I mean, @incandescent-justice and @girlonabridge and @aubrys and @little-brisk all became proper Real Life Friends of mine when I lived on their continent, and @picardcrusher and @sapphoshands and @moocowmoocow thanks for also screaming about lady detectives with me. And I am so, so pleased that being into Sanctuary helped me meet @troiings and audio drama fandom put me in touch with @lothiriel84 and @mifhortunach and just. yeah. There are probably more people I’m going to feel bad about forgetting but like, FADOM FAMS it means so much to me!

Strongest memories of writing from the decade: Writing ‘Scenes From a Very Special Friendship’ in a notebook in 2011 while on holiday attending DiaCon Alley in the UK, teasing it to the person I was writing it for and talking about it with @kiwi-collideoscope. Writing ‘A Sexual Awakening in Five Acts’ in the breaks at my retail job, sometimes skiving and taking hella long breaks on the steps outside the store and sometimes writing smut in the breakroom while trying to keep a straight face - I think that was the first fic I really wrote large chunks of on my phone, a practise that I have continued, and continues to make me happy. Writing a scene of ‘Be Here, By Me’ in which Julie Dodson smokes a cigarette with the sun on her face while doing exactly the same thing myself. Sitting in the restauarant/bar of my hotel in Berlin with my evening cup of tea (because German hotels don’t have a kettle in the room? idek) writing ‘Warrirors’, which was my first Infinite Bad fic, and the first fic I had written in two years. Starting to write ‘Tethers’ in the taxi in Manila on my way to the airport after my stopover on my way home to Sydney in 2018.

Something I wish I’d written: I wish I’d been able to get on the Berena train, fanfic-wise, but it was such a wild explosion that I couldn’t keep up with it, and the fact that canon never stopped really threw me, too. I really wish I’d managed to write that fucking Yuletide assignment in 2016, though, because none of the NYR prompts have grabbed me since.

Where I think the 2020s will take me: i honestly have no idea, but it might be fun to speculate for the future. Into new fandoms, I think is a safe bet - probably fandoms with Awesome Ladies. I hope this Arc of a Scythe thing can carry me a bit further, but after that, who knows? At the start of the decade, I had no idea that Scott & Bailey existed, or that I would fall for Sanctuary as hard as I did. I had no idea a wild and crazy RPG podcast would be the thing to pull me out of a two-year dry spell, or that I would finish a fic that had been sitting in my WIPs for two years (that’s ‘to beckon me’, btw, thanks, @tayryn, for helping me do a thing I never thought possible and take something OFF the backburner!). But yeah, whatever my 2020s fannish journey holds, I bet it has Awesome Ladies in it - particularly older ones.