#Spy camera in Green park

[hannahssimblr]

Pretending to be good at driving isn’t as easy as I assumed. It’s not like pretending to be into wine, or classical music, or other such things that allow you to nod along and smile, and make statements bland enough to seem vaguely knowledgeable. Italians drive on the right, and I’m terrified, yet one of my hands is nonchalantly out the open window of the rental car, resting against warm metal, while the other white knuckles the wheel. Tyres toss dust into the air behind us, and I feel like we’re starring in a film about Americans in southern Italy, where the sky is colour graded cyan blue, and the greens bleached out, dulled to bone dry ochre so that you know it is hot and poor. 

I don’t think I have ever been much of a driver, despite the belief of my classmates back at school who assumed I must be, simply because I owned a car. Yes, I could drive it. I could control the clutch, shift the gears and manoeuvre myself into a parking space with semi-accuracy, but the traffic in Dublin was so diabolical that I spent most of my driving career crawling by, metre by metre, bumper to bumper until I’d give up, pull into the train station and get the DART the rest of the way. The other times, I was having disappointing sex in the passenger seat, or eating ice creams from McDonalds, a dead eyed stare over the bay on Fridays after school, just to have a way to unwind. 

The road to Amalfi is a narrow twist of hairpin turns carved from a mountain, climbing above little towns and a verdant landscape which I picture dried to brush by the time July’s heat comes, a landscape in sepia tones.

Warm, dry air kisses my sweat dampened skin as I climb out of the car to the smell of the sea. Salt and seaweed, and fish, from a seafood restaurant by the water. Waves lap against the shore in a gentle symphony as seagulls circle above the vibrant hum of a busy tourist town. 

The first thing Astrid wants to do is take photographs. And so, she perches on a low wall, against a backdrop of azure waters and green capped mountains, and poses for the camera. I take several, in a variety of positions, and indulge her whims by digging her straw hat out from the car boot so that she can pose with it, one hand on the brim as she looks out over the Tyrrhenian sea like it is her kingdom. 

I get her to take some with me, too, using the front facing camera on my phone, then choose one to send to my mother. 

We’re in Italy. Wonderful. Enjoy. 

I suspect it will be weeks before we communicate again. 

“It looks like it did on the website, anyway,” I say, as I unload our cases outside our villa. It is loaded with picturesque, old-world charm, the brick exterior crumbling slightly from salt and age. We decided that a villa with a pool would suit us best when I booked it, surmising we would appreciate a swim before breakfast under the morning sun. I gaze at my reflection now, a ripple of dark hair against the cloudless sky and take a moment to relax my shoulders, and thank God it will be ten days before I have to drive those perilous roads again.

 Our footsteps echo against the hallway tile. Astrid gazes around her as I haul our bags upstairs. 

“It’s quite nice,” she says, an understatement that incites a chuckle from me. This is the nicest place I’ve ever stayed at, including a family member’s desert guest house in Palm Springs. It is perfect. From behind the wrought iron banisters I spy a small living room, white linen couches and a bowl of fresh oranges on the table, and suspect they are from the tree outside. 

“It’s a marvellous view from here,” Astrid says at the bedroom window while I roll the last of our cases across the floor towards the wardrobe. I won’t want to unpack them. I usually live out of my bags while I’m travelling, but I suspect Astrid will like things hung up and put away. With the heat and the exhaustion from travelling, I cannot face the thought. I join her at the window, where we look out upon a small dock, little coloured boats floating in water so serene, so clear that we can see their shadows at the bottom of the sea.

“Woah, yeah. It’s pretty here, huh?”

“I told you that,” she says, leaning into my chest. “I think this is the best place in the world.” 

“Touristy, though, don’t you think?” Across the little bay, the coastal road is traffic jammed, holidaymakers weaving between the cars. A tour yacht glides by, its linen clad passengers pointing their cameras toward the charming little houses that cling to the mountainside, including ours. I raise my hand to wave at them, though I’m certain they cannot see us. 

“We are tourists too,” she points out. “It’s good for the economy. If we weren’t here, the restaurants and craft shops would have to close.”

I hum in vague agreement, caught in between two ways of thinking. Jonas paced my room as I packed my bags for the airport, giving me a spirited, if not slightly manic, lecture about the perils of tourism, from environmental degradation, cultural disruption, exploitation and overcrowding. 

“Shut up,” I said. “You and I are going to Thailand in June.” And he argued it was different, because he had intentions of learning about the cultures and traditions, and being respectful, unlike all the other tourists, trying to take pictures in the temples with their shoes still on and eating in Subway instead of trying a new cuisine. 

Still, the conversation has left me with a vague feeling of nuisance I’ve never experienced while travelling abroad. I look around this bedroom, the voile curtains fluttering in the breeze that floats through the open balcony door, and fear I am gentrifying the town just by standing here. What if they hate me, the locals, and the chino trousers in my suitcase, the way my hair is pushed back, my trendy little sunglasses? I couldn’t even ask for water in Italian if I wanted to.

But Astrid can. Perfect, clever Astrid. She gazes at her appearance in the mirror, and smooths out her dress, which shows no signs of having been travelled in. She combs her fingers through her pin straight hair, and a strand comes loose, floating through the sun rays like a strand of white silk. 

I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her neck. “This is a great room, hm?”

“Yes, it’s spacious.”

“We could spend a lot of time in here.” I slide my hand over her ribs and cup her breasts. She sighs and lifts them away. “Don’t. Not now. We’ll put creases in the fabric.”

“You can change into another outfit.” God knows, she has packed enough clothes. 

She twists out of my arms and opens her suitcase on the bed, retrieving her toothbrush. “I don’t feel clean after travelling. I’d need time to have a shower and freshen myself up first.”

To this, I laugh. “I don’t really care about that, to be honest. Like, I’ll go down on you no matter–”

“Well, I do.” She pushes through to the adjacent bathroom. The tap squeaks, and water splashes into the sink. “I want to see the town, anyway. I don’t want to waste the day in bed together.”

“I never think a day is wasted like that.”

“Well, we can do it later. Perhaps after dinner.”

“Very organised,” I say, and she doesn’t respond. She’s brushing her teeth. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[spnfic85]

First Comes Love... (Ch. 6)

WARNINGS: 18+ -Minors DNI ‼️- Fluff, Protective Uncle Peter, Protective Thor

Word Count: 1.85k

Author’s Note: Thank you again @slytherinqueen4life for reminding me how much I love this story! I know this chapter is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Little trips can bring big announcements

Masterlist

Chapter 6

Your phone pinged almost immediately as Tony simply texted your name. You bit your lip and kissed Thor on the cheek before the pair of you decided to duck out of the bookstore and retreat to the parked car left in front of the café. Thor chuckled a bit at you as you ducked your head, hiding away your face as a photographer asked for your name. Although your partner was used to the attention, it made your face flush to be bombarded with questions as you slipped into the shadow and safety of the passenger seat while Thor gently closed your door with a wink.  

He smiled politely at the few who were eager to get information and murmured an apology and need to get somewhere before slipping into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. Your phone buzzed again, and you looked at your screen to see a tabloid link in the team’s group chat.

Shellhead: Thor. Y/N. Do I need to be worried?       Nat: Are you guys ok??       Shellhead: I thought you were taking her to lunch Thor, not notifying the world you were expecting children.        Jolly Green: Bringing anything back?        Nat: They’re allowed to, Tony.        Petah: Bring leftovers!!! I’ve been here training with Mr. Stark all day Dx       Y/N: We are okay… Leaving out now.       Nat: They’re a lot huh? I hated going out for a long time because of the photos.       Jolly Green: I thought you stayed out of sight out of habit… Once a spy, always a spy.        Nat: Shaddup Bruce.         Petah: 007 connections...         Shellhead: What?

            You snorted and put your phone away. The conversations were going to just repeat themselves once you got back to Stark Tower. You looked over to Thor and smiled softly as he glanced over a moment, noticing you.

            “Are you okay with this?” He asked gently, his fingers finding yours and lacing together with a soft squeeze. You nodded and smiled, your stomach flipping a bit thinking about now having to formally make some kind of post on your Instagram or something. Thor had one as well, but never could figure it out.

            “I think this is good… You can’t just have a secret family forever.” You teased and he squeezed your hand again. He chuckled and agreed smiling at you lovingly before keeping his eyes on the road as the car merged on the highway and headed home. You watched the scenery breeze past you and tried to imagine having two small children in the tower this time next year…

The fact that this time next year, your whole life is going to be so different…

            Getting back into Stark Tower was slightly a mess. There were a good number of paparazzi huddled around the front of the building, but only a few knew of the obscured entrance to the garage a block away.

            Thor groaned softly when he pulled up to the opening of the garage and saw three persistent men holding cameras and ready to ask questions the moment the vehicle slowed. The security system to the entrance refused to open due to the man who came up to your side window and started knocking persistently, attempting to convince you to roll your window down.

            “Thor! Are you really going to be a father? Who’s the mystery woman??” They pressed and tried to record your face as you ducked down and thanked god the windows had dark tint. Thor growled low in his throat and revved the engine a bit, inching closer to the entrance and triggered the door to open this time, before quickly and carefully zipping into the garage. Unfortunately, neither of you noticed the small figure that was able to roll under the closing door and hide in the shadows of another vehicle.

            “I’m sorry petal, I don’t know what’s gotten into me…” He murmured and cleared his throat. You felt your heart flutter a bit realizing that he was being overprotective with the person at your window. “I don’t like them swarming you. This is not the life you chose.”

            “It’s not yours either.” You murmured softly and kissed his cheek. “I chose you. My heart chose you. Whatever else comes, I’ll put up with it.” You smiled at the big blonde lug. He continually forgot that this wasn’t the life he wanted either, being so far away from home, losing his home completely… If he could adjust, CLEARLY you could too.

            You tried to slip from your seat and Thor rushed out the car to catch your door before stopping and staring down at you in the quiet space. “I love you Y/N… Thank you for finding me…” he murmured softly and kissed you deeply, hands pulling you close and gripping your hips.

            It amazed you. After all the time you have been with this man, kissing him still made your head go fuzzy and your stomach flutter when he looked at you. Those pure bright blue eyes looked at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. You bit your lip before kissing him again and hugging into his chest, just enjoying a moment together.

            “Hey!” You both jumped as a voice echoed loudly from the door to the tower. Peter stood in the doorway excited, “Sorry- did you guys need help? Oh! And did you get leftovers??” He asked excitedly as he started heading to you both, parked just a few cars from the door.

            “We could use your help.” You teased, “But don’t worry- we got leftovers. So many leftovers…” You opened the back door to the big white bags filled with takeout boxes.

            Peter grinned and started to help grabbing bags and shopping things. He was about to turn back in the tower while he asked how your trip went and froze.

            “Hold on… Something isn’t right…” He murmured, his head turning towards the dark corner of the garage. Peter’s Spidey senses still wigged you out a bit to see in person, but your heart raced more for the fact that you had no idea what Peter heard.

            He carefully and quietly put down the bags in front of you and turned to the corner completely, crouching as he neared the older car stored in the corner closest to the entrance. Before you knew it, Peter moved fast, scuffling with someone before a heavy thud was heard as someone hit the side of the car. Thor ran over and helped, and as fast as the whole altercation started, it was over. Thor pulled a very dusty reporter from the corner, hand gripping the collar of his coat.

            “He was taking pictures,” Peter said huffing and picking up a camera, “You want me to delete them?

            “H-hey! You guys don’t have to do that- I-I’m sorry!” The guy apologized, squinting as if he expected to be hit for speaking up. Peter looked up at him and you saw the tick in his jaw that only showed when he was angry.

“They didn’t consent and you’re trespassing.” Peter said coolly, “The photos you have are of a private moment. Just because she’s with him doesn’t mean they lose that.”

Your heart thudded in your chest as Peter waited for the reporter to relent. You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until the man nodded and Peter deleted the images before reaching to hand the camera back to its owner. Just as the camera was about to grace the fingers of the reporter, the man murmured something cruel under his breath to himself. You barely caught the tail end of something pertaining your size as Thor’s head snapped to lock in on the reporter’s eyes. There was an energy that radiated from Peter that you had never seen in person. The same muscle ticked on his jaw as he ground his teeth and took a deep breath. The man panicked as his eyes flit between the two men’s cold stares while Peter stepped closer to him.

Peter never broke eye contact as he held his hand out for the man to take his camera before the crack of the expensive lens echoed across the dark garage. The man flinched as the silent teen reached his hand out and dropped the now crushed equipment in the reporter’s hand. He leaned in and you held your breath praying no one lashed out, “If you’d like that to not extend to other parts of your career, never show your face around Stark Tower again.” He spoke softly, his eyes cold and promising nothing kind.

A wave of protectiveness radiated from both men that made your eyes water as Thor gruffly directed the shaken gentleman to the foot entry access on the other side of the garage. Peter turned to you and immediately his face softened into one of concern as you hiccupped and allowed the tears that were battling to fall.

“Y/N! What’s wrong??” He worried and checked over your face panicked as Thor hurried back over to the pair of you once the intruder was successfully locked out. You shook your head and offered them both a watery smile.

“I’m okay, you just- thank you.” You broke down and hugged Peter tightly, “Thank you for defending me.” He seemed too lax under your grip and hugged you back tightly.

“Of course! We’re family, no one gets to speak to you that way.” He said sternly and Thor chuckled.

“You are quite the protective little brother Spider Lad.” Thor clapped Peter on the shoulder and all three of you redirected your attention to carrying in your loot from earlier. As you wiped your tears from your now puffy cheeks, both men refused to let you pick up more than your small bag of books before being ushered back into the private access hall.

Within a few minutes, Peter was doing a happy wiggle, arms laden with white bags, as the three of you rode the elevator up to the commons shared with the team. Thor shifted his bags and took your hand before walking you to the shining kitchen to look over your baby loot once again. Natasha fawned over the small onesies before comparing a small sock to her own finger.

“We are going to need a nursery around here soon…” She murmured, “Any ideas you guys have come up with?” she inquired curiously while arching a brow. You hadn’t even considered preparing for the twins at the tower- or anywhere else for that matter. You chewed your lip worried a bit,

“I honestly hadn’t considered that yet… Eeek- We have to babyproof Tony and Bruce’s labs…” you worried quietly, Thor stopped chuckling at Peter’s excitement over the layout of foods and froze., “I wonder if Tony has anything in the works yet, I’m sure he does.” You continued.

“No- no we have not considered that.” He murmured, turning to look for Tony, “Where is Stark???” He inquired before heading to the small lab in the commons.

Natasha quietly picked up a piece of a cinnamon roll before sheepishly murmuring, “Oops,” and popping the bite in her mouth.

[cinewhore]

Til Death Do Us Part (2) - the newlyweds

Pairing: Dave York x fem!reader (Mr & Mrs Smith AU) Rating: General Warnings: fighting, blood, explosions. regular spy shit. Word Count: 2.5k A/N: inspired by the amazon mr. and mrs. smith series! no beta. Enjoy! Credits to the gif makers.

You really should stop wearing thongs on missions. It’s not enough that you were getting your ass kicked, you could barely concentrate with the material all bunched in your nether regions. 

All you wanted was a quiet night in, curled tight in bed with an assortment of trashy snacks and even trashier reality tv but duty calls. When the company says jump, you don’t say how high. You take the plunge and await instructions on your way down. So far they kept you from splattering all over the pavement but you caught a few branches to the face from time to time. 

You dodge a punch from a goon, your targeted guy making a run for it through the kitchens. Grabbing a spare ladle, you whip it across the face of said goon and continue your pursuit of the stout looking man, throwing any and everything he could behind him to deter you. 

You dodge just about everything except a fucking saucepan, which collides with your left knee and sends you bending over in a tiny fit of pain. This was very telling of how the rest of the mission was going to go. 

Meanwhile, back in the great ballroom of the Cécile Opera house, John carefully observes the crowd from the outskirts. His instincts went into effect as soon as his feet touched french soil, guard held higher than the Eiffel tower. He stood out to some, a handsome man dressed impeccably without a woman on his arm. Pity. A few women have tried to approach, boldly at first but with calculated risk once they spot the gleaming ring on his finger. 

Each and every one of them looked alike, same air of arrogance he was used to from the many government wives he has come in contact with. That’s half the reason he married Carol. She was unspeakable plain and average, just what he wanted. 

In other matters, none of these women were you. If he had to guess, shady business was being conducted elsewhere and wherever that was, you were sure to be. Slipping from the throng of martinis and tuxedos, John follows security into a secluded area, maintaining his stealth as he moves calmly and quietly through the many halls of the security chambers until he winds up in a room with a wall of monitors, cameras pointing in all different angles and rooms. 

That’s when he catches a glimpse of you, lunging at a man with a butter knife. He turns to head for the kitchen before he can watch you slit the man's throat. 

You managed to get the little fucker after all but not without a heft fist fight. Wasting no time, you dig through the pockets of your victim, laughing maniacally as you pull out a set of keys. You hear the brief clacking of dress shows on the tiled floor and you maneuver yourself into a crouch stance, knife pointed outwards. 

The man doesn’t flinch as you snarl at him and finally, you lower your weapon. 

“John?” 

He frowns for a split second before nodding once. “Jane.” 

The kitchen doors burst open, numerous beefy guards filing in, all screaming something incomprehensible but nonetheless not good. 

“Think that’s our cue,” you mutter as you take off towards the back doors, praying to any god that you were running in the right direction. “You know how to drive?”

The path to the parking garage was a ravenous one, a trail of bodies left in your wake. You press the key clicker numerous times until a lime green lamborghini roars to life. You pop open the trunk, sighing a breath of relief as you come face to face with a small trunk. Nothing looked amiss and that was going to have to do at this point. You’d deal with your fuck ups later. 

You toss the keys to your new husband and you both hop in quickly. John isn’t caring as he presses his foot on the gas, backing up the car into a group of guards like a life sized game of bowling. The car screeches out of the garage and down the winding driveway, bullets ricocheting off the concrete. 

As you emerge from the garage and into the flow of Paris traffic, you collide with a few pedestrian cars. 

“Watch it!” you yell, feeling around the backseat for a gun. You knew the Napoleon looking piece of shit was packing and he didn’t disappoint as your fingers came across the cool feeling of an assault rifle. You quickly check the safety and lean out the window, letting it rip. So much for being careful.

“Mind telling me where we’re going?!” John yells back, erratically swerving to avoid the oncoming traffic. 

As if the car could read his mind, the GPS pings and pulls up a set of directions for a set of coordinates. 

“Just drive, I’ll shoot.” you huff, aiming for the tires of the four black sedans that pursue you. 

After nearly 15 minutes of rapid gunfire, you succeed in shaking off your aggressors, leaving the hustle and bustle of the busy streets for more quiet backroads. You settle into your seat, trying to catch your breath. It had been awhile since you handled a gun and you made sure to keep your trembling hands away from where John could see. 

The route takes you to a small house tucked away in the French suburbs, smoke filtering out of the chimney. A light lets you know that someone was home and you weren’t sure if this was a friend or for, so you tell John to park the car a little ways back. 

Upon hearing the vehicle, a young woman and man come rushing out, nearly tripping over each other. 

John opens the trunk for you and you’re careful as you hand over the trunk to the frazzled couple, Stepping back as the woman nearly rips off her fingernails clawing at the locks. 

John braces himself as the trunk is flung open, widening his legs in a ready stance. You catch a glimpse of his arm moving in your direction, ready to throw himself in front of you at a moment's notice. 

“Oh, thank goodness!” The young woman looks up to the both of you with tears in her eyes, a tightly wrapped infant peering out from the blankets. “I can’t thank you enough.”

Her husband wraps himself around them both and you give him a nod, nudging John in the shoulder. “Come on, we’re done here.” 

You’re both quiet as you enter the half totaled car, the passenger mirror hanging on by a literal wire. You’re attempting to push the press to start button, admittedly struggling but John just sits there, eyes not leaving the young couple as he watches them wander back into their house, baby held closely in their embrace. 

He thinks of his girls, how much he missed them. Missed Carol. 

John doesn’t have long to ponder on his past life as the house emits a tiny explosion. It was big enough to rattle the car and get it started. You waste no time shifting the gears into reverse, expertly whipping the vehicle around before throwing the shift into drive. You exhale slowly as pieces of the house collide with the car, both hands gripping the steering, knuckles straining. 

A noise penetrates the silence and John feels around his suit pockets, face frowning as he pulls out a small flip phone. How did that get there? The screen alerts him to one new message. 

Congratulations, John. Welcome to the agency. 

John expects you to ask what it says but you barely spare him a glance, pulling the car into a shady gas station. A group of teen boys loiter outside, smacking each other up while passing around a poorly concealed bottle of liquor around in a paper bag. 

They grow quiet as you park the tattered lamborghini at the pump adjacent to theirs. John watches as you get out of the car with grace, hands slowly going for the gun near his waist. 

Jiggling the keys in your palm, you hold your hand out further. “Wanna trade?” 

The boys all glare at each other. 

The rank minivan trudges to a stop in the dimly lit parking lot, radio halting as you cut the engine. 

John is apprehensive as the both of you walk to the entrance and you say nothing as he holds the door open for you. “Mama’s Table” was a quaint cuban restaurant, furniture and general set up appearing as if someone plucked the decor straight from a flea market. 

You saunter up to the counter to order, an older woman plopped in a chair behind it. Her wide glasses tilt towards the bottom of her nose as she takes in your appearance. You can’t even begin to imagine how you look: ripped dress, broken heels, bloodied and battered flesh. John fared better, at least his suit was somewhat intact. 

“Uh, bonjour. Can I get two orders of empanadas, some chicharrones de cerdo and I’ll top it off with some flan.” You nudge John with your elbow. “What do you want?” 

John raises an eyebrow. “All of that is for you?” 

You shrug. John places a small order of tamales and takes a seat. You pay the ogling lady, waiting for your change. The woman tries hard not to stare at your injuries but fails miserably. She shoots John a side-eye, hands hovering over her phone. 

“Is everything ok, miss?” 

You nod sheepishly. “It’s Mrs. We’re newlyweds.” you flash your new ring and lower your voice. “He can’t keep his hands off me.” 

Shooting her a quick wink, you grab the tray of food and leave the poor woman too stunned to speak. 

Moaning audibly as the food is served, you pay no mind to the heaps of steam as you dig in, uncaring how unladylike you appear. John tries to eat his fair share of food but finds that he can barely stomach anything after the events of tonight. 

“You’re just not going to talk about it?” 

Slowing down on your chewing, you meet John’s vexing stare. “Talk about what?” 

“Anything.” 

You swallow what’s left in your mouth, dabbing a napkin across your lips. “Didn’t realize we needed to talk. You found me, we completed our mission, case closed.” 

He raises his eyebrows in disbelief, leaning back in his chair like a petulant child. You try to take pity on him. I mean, from an outsider's perspective, he’s had a pretty shitty 24 hours. There wasn’t any hand holding within your line of work, it was either get it right the first time or die trying but you figure there was no harm in throwing him a bone. 

“Ok, fine. I’ll answer your questions as long as you stop sulking. It’s making me look bad to Beatrice.” You throw your head back a little, the noisy woman blatantly staring at you both. 

John nods. “The couple?” 

You shrug. “Don’t know ‘em. That’s not our job, understanding the nitty gritty details. You do as you're told and all is well.” 

“The phone?” 

You dig around your purse until you find your own device. “It’s how The Wiz keeps in contact with us. I mean, outside of that, it’s just a phone. My number is already saved in it.” 

For the first time in a long time, John chuckles. “The Wiz?” 

You laugh a little as well. “Yeah, that’s what I call him. Or her. You never meet the person behind the curtain. It makes things more fun, I suppose. Keeps me on my toes. Just remember, big brother is always watching. Anything else?” 

John contemplates for a second before shaking his head. “Guess I’ll learn as we go.” 

Without thinking, you reach your hand across the table and place it on top of his. Squeezing it mildly, you offer a smile. “It’s scary at first but that’s why every John gets a Jane.” 

John lets you go back to eating, admiring your face. Even with the smeared makeup and caked up blood decorating nearly every surface, he found you pretty. Beautiful, even. 

Beatrice looks on from the window as you two take off in the van, leaving a smoky cloud behind you. She makes her way over to the table, thankful that at least you had manners and were neat about your trash. It wasn’t until she was dumping your food trays that she noticed it, crumbled up in a few napkins. 

A red thong.  

The flight back to New York proves to be uneventful. Most of it was spent with you writing up a mission report, John wavering in and out of sleep. Your Range Rover was still parked where you left it, an accompanying one next to it. 

“Matching cars. What’s next, tattoos?” you jest. 

John follows you to a beautiful suburban neighborhood, complete with luscious landscapes and elegant homes. His sightseeing tour was cut short as you pulled into your own driveway. Built with wheat colored bricks, adorned with cypress wooden accents, the house possessed spanish architectural influence with a modern flair. It wasn’t something he’d typically go for but it wasn’t hard on the eyes. Easy to miss which was a plus. 

You walk in first, inhaling the freshness of it all while John trails behind you. As you wander deeper into the house and into the bedrooms, you notice that your previous wardrobe had been replaced. All the new garments were neatly pressed and symmetrically folded. The bathroom was stocked with enough beauty products to fill a small drugstore. 

John knocks politely on the door. “Where’s your first aid kit? I want to patch up that little shiner on your knee, don’t like the look of it” 

You shrug. “Not sure, there’s usually a panic room with medical supplies in it.” 

John cocks his head. “You don’t know where your own panic room is?”

“New husband, new house.” 

John shifts his weight, sensing the elephant in the room he didn’t feel like acknowledging. “Gotcha.” 

“Don’t worry, I can patch myself up. You should get some shut eye, we’ve got an early start.” 

“Goodnight, Jane.” 

“Goodnight, John.” 

You shut the door to your bedroom, attempting to be quiet as you slowly turn the lock. It was silly, really. There was no reason to fear John and locking the door just seemed out right stupid given that anything could happen at any time. Whoever this man is, was, warranted some getting used to. You had been trusting before with one of your previous husbands, who suffered a mental break and nearly suffocated you in your sleep. 

John wasn’t as secretive about his own room, closing his door loudly and fumbling with the lock before securing it. 

Making himself knowledgeable about every inch of the room, a wave of chills get sent down his spine as he comes across a picture placed polishedly on the nightstand. It was of the both of you on what appears to be a wedding day. His likeness was uncanny and he swallowed down a gurgle of food threatening to crawl up his throat. Your eyes bore into his soul lovingly, body absorbed by a rather puffy wedding gown, left hand resting on his chest. 

Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Always & Forever.

[five-rivers]

Cryptid Crawl! 7

“You… aren’t a cryptid,” said the man who’d been chasing Danny for literal miles.

“What?” demanded the other unbelievable human being, who hadn’t been all that far behind the first guy.  “Did these guys hire you to make us look bad?”

“Uh, no?” said Danny, who realized he’d said it like a question.  “No,” he repeated, more confidently, because this was the plan.  “I am making you look bad freelance.”

“That’s the wrong word, dude,” said Tucker.  

“It’s pro bono,” corrected Sam.  

“Pro bono.”  He nodded.  “Like Peter Parker.”

“Still the wrong thing.”

“What does Spider-Man have to do with this?”

“We both wear cool costumes and have our pictures taken, duh,” said Danny, not mentioning the superhero thing.  He started to peel the contacts out of his eyes.  

“What are you doing going around dressed like the Amity Park Phantom, then?”

Danny snorted.  “There is no Amity Park Phantom.  It’s just me and sometimes my friends messing around.”

Crawly’s face turned dangerously furious.  “It’s what?”

“This is like…”  He waved his hand vaguely.  “A prank?  Follow people around, spook them a little?  It’s something we do sometimes, for the bit.”

“The bit?  What do you mean, the bit?”

“For the joke.  You don’t think Amity Park is really haunted, do you?”  Danny rolled his eyes theatrically.  “I was going to do the same thing today, but then you started chasing me.”  He pointed accusingly at Bill.  “Like, you chased me for blocks.  It freaked me out.”  That last bit was hardly even a lie.

“Uh,” said Bill.  “Sorry?”

“I mean, I guess it’s your job, but–”

“Wait, wait, wait,” said Az, who had lost a great deal of his for-television veneer.  “If you’re not a ghost, how were you running that fast?  How were either of you running that fast?  That kind of speed isn’t possible for normal humans!”

“Yeah, duh, that’s because Bill is an ex-military super-spy!” said Crawly, leaning on Bill’s shoulder.

“I’m retired from the spy business, actually.”

“That’s not the point!” said Az, throwing his hands up in the air.  He then pointed accusingly at Danny.  “You!” he said.  “Do you have any idea how this’ll affect our ratings?  I can’t afford to go job hunting again!  No one will hire Jimmy!  He doesn’t talk!”

“Oh, yeah,” said Danny, unzipping the top part of the fake hazmat suit so he could shrug halfway out of it and tie the arms around his waist, “where are the other two stooges?”

Az spun on the spot and stalked away, followed by a good deal of the camera crew.  Then he came back, dragging his brother and Jimmy with him.  Danny’s eyes met with Jimmy’s.  

Danny’s ghost sense started to go off– And he swallowed it.  No breathing a bunch of weird blue fog in the middle of a sunny spring day on camera.  Nope.  Danny had to admit he was impressed, though.  That was a very realistic human disguise.  

“You,” said Az, “are getting interviewed, and you,”  he turned his baleful finger at Crawly, “are getting off our set.”

“What set?  This is an abandoned lot.  You can’t make us do anything.”

They started bickering.

Apart from one of the hosts being a ghost, and the others being bizarre enough that Danny was wondering if they would fit in in Amity Park, this was actually going quite well.  Neither show would have a coherent enough episode to make Amity Park interesting to any wannabe ghost hunter tourists.  Or cryptid hunters.  Whatever.

Gosh, the only thing they needed now was for the UFO hunters to come out of the woodwork.  Or was Hannah enough of one to fulfill that category all by herself?

Before Danny could decide, a massive pillar of green light originating from a couple miles away lit up the sky.  The sky howled and pulsed.  

“What the hell was that?” demanded Az.  “You guys saw that, too, right?”

“Yep,” said Ned.  

“Hmm,” said Jimmy.  

“Bill,” said Crawly, “I think this trip just became worth it again.”

They all left.  

“What,” said Danny, “was that?”

“Uh,” said Tucker, “I’m working on it.  Get Ember.”

“Ember?”

“Or Desiree or someone else who can either cause a massive distraction or unscrew reality because I am–”  there was a crashing sound.  “

“I’ll get her,” said Jazz.  

Danny jumped.  “Have you been listening the whole time?”

“Yeah, but it’s busy here, so sue me.  I’ll talk to Ember, just tell me what you need.”

“Hey, Danny!”

“Dani!” exclaimed Danny, looking up.  “Val!”  He paused.  “Are you sure you should be hoverboarding this close to the cameras?”

“Shut up,” said Val, “we’re here to give you a ride to whatever that was.”

“I’m on my way, too,” said Sam.  “Hold on, there, Tucker.”

.

Danny, Val, and Jazz arrived to see most of the Groovy Ghost Blasters Extreme unconscious and stuck to various walls with bright green goo and Tucker trying to hack the GAV and Danny’s parents nowhere in sight.

“Where are Mom and Dad?” asked Danny, jumping off Valerie’s board.  Valerie tapped her heels together, retracting the board as soon as he was off.  

“Chasing the tiger.  Apparently they think it’s a ghost.”

“Great,” said Danny, rubbing his hand down over his face.  “Sam’s not going to be happy about that.”  He jogged over to the Groovy Ghost Blasters Extreme and started checking vitals.  “Everyone looks alive.”  Now, he should get them off the wall and to a hospital or something.  Getting knocked out wasn’t generally good for people…

“What should I do?” asked Dani.  

“Uh,” said Danny.  “I don’t know, Tucker?  What was your plan?”

“Uh,” said Tucker.  He pointed at a trailer that held the ruins of several vehicles.  “Stage.”  He pointed at the smoking holes in the street.  “Mist from black ice?”  He pointed at the GAV.  “Lighting and sound system?  I don’t know, man.  I’m just making things up.  There’s no way we can hide this on our own.”

“The hunters are getting closer,” said Sam.  “It’d be great if I had some help slowing them down.”

“Okay,” said Danny, “okay.”  He ran over to the GAV and used his handprint to sign in.  Most of the controls were still locked out for him - no driving license - but it got Tucker that little bit forward.  “Uh, then, Dani, you fill up anything smoking with dry ice, Val, you and me, we need to get those guys to a hospital.”

“I think I’ll have to do that myself,” said Val, “unless you have a hoverboard.”

“To cut them out,” said Danny, producing a pair of Fenton Scissors from his pocket and walking over.  “Otherwise, that stuff won’t come off unless you take a wall with it.”  He spoke from unfortunate experience.  Usually, he’d just phase them out, but… witnesses.

Things had been going so well, too.

.

“Babypop is letting me perform in his precious city?” asked Ember, eyebrow raised.  

“Assuming you do it fast, yes,” said Jazz, blowing a strand of hair out of her face.  She was covered in flour, eggs, butter, batter in various states of mixture, and icing.  “You know that your performances were never the problem.  The problem was the mind control.”

“But he’s suddenly okay with it now?”

“He’s got to hide the results of a ecto-gun fight between our parents and trigger happy ghost hunters.  Tucker thinks their ATV trailer could be covered up as a stage.”

“And why should I?  If Amity becomes famous, maybe some of that spills over.  More people to hear me play.  More people to shout my name.”

“Do you want to be famous in your own right, because of your music, or because you’re a ghost?” snapped Jazz.  

“What do you think, babe?” asked Ember, leaning back towards the rest of the ghosts.  

“Do it, and show them the error of underestimating you!” said Skulker, around a mouthful of cake, and how did that even work, exactly?  Jazz just… ugh.  She didn’t want to know.  

“Okay, yeah, sounds good.  I’ve performed on worse.  I’ll take a look.”

.

“Maybe we should call an ambulance, actually,” said Danny.  Getting knocked out like this and staying knocked out was generally a bad sign.  

“And screw things up for whatever friend you’ve got coming to turn this into some kind of rock show?” asked Valerie.  

“It’s just Fenton Sleeping Gas,” called Tucker.  “According to the weapons logs, anyway.”

Danny briefly looked skyward.  “Why do they even have that?  I swear…”

“I have Ember on her way, better get Valerie out of there.”

“Yeah,” said Danny, “just, uh.  Dani!  Help Val carry these guys, will you?”

Dani dropped another chunk of ice into a hole.  “On it!”

“Cool, cool, cool,” said Tucker.  “There’s so much stuff.  Why is there so much stuff?”

Danny wasn’t sure if he was talking about the code in the GAV, the weapons in the GAV, or the debris scattered all over the road.  In any case, there was a lot of stuff.  

But Valerie was flying off, and… “Sam, do we have an ETA on those guys?”

“You’re lucky they didn’t have cars,” said Sam.  “Halfway there.”

“Thanks.”  Danny transformed and started pushing stuff out of the way.  He also did the fastest structural ice-work of his life, covering up the trailer and making it look more stage-like.  He hid several of the gaping holes in the street– hopefully being filled with ice wouldn’t make them worse– and worked on putting out the few fires that were still going, despite Dani’s ice.  

Then he paused and surveyed his work.  It looked…

… Bad.  

Genuinely, there was no way around it.  

“Oi, babypop!” called Ember from above.  “What’re you doing chilling out when it’s time to rock on?”

Smiling at Ember was a new experience for Danny.  Maybe–

“Hey, uh.  That one terrifying camera guy is fighting a tiger, now, what do I do?”

The tiger.  The one his parents had been chasing.  

“Sorry, got to go!” he shouted.  

“Are you ditching me?” demanded Ember.  

“It’s not you,” said Tucker, “it’s the tiger.”

.

“That’s a tiger,” said Ned.  He might have been more concerned about the situation if the tiger wasn’t running away from Bill.  

“Hng,” said Jimmy.  

“Genuinely a tiger.  Just a tiger.”

“Hm,” said Jimmy.  

“You know what?  I’m done.”

“Yes!  Get it, Bill!  If we can’t have a cryptid we can at least get an anomalous big cat!”

“Hm?”

“Just done.  Done with this, done with the show, done with everything.  I want to retire and work on classic cars.”

“You can’t retire,” hissed Az, who was hiding behind Jimmy.  “You’re in your thirties!  And we don’t know what that light was, yet!”

Ned was very tempted to say screw the light.  

Behind him, the producer attempted and failed to call animal control.  

“Fine, we can go see what the light was about, but if we get there and it’s a kid in an iceberg–”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, like you never watch cartoons.”

“Yes!  Yes!  Now zoom in on its face.  I’ve never seen a tiger like this before, maybe it’s endangered!”

.

“Please, please set up,” begged Tucker.  “Please start playing.”

“Uh, no,” said Ember, crossing her arms.  “I’m not performing for an empty street.”

“You said–”

“I’d said I’d take a look.  So here I am.  Looking.”

“Ember,” squeaked Tucker.  “Come on.  You got free cake.”

“For staying hidden, yeah.  But that’s not my point, geek squad.  Don’t you think that me playing to absolutely no one would be suspicious?  No way this is a concert.  It’s a special effects test for later this week.  And you’d better believe that later this week, I’ll be collecting.”

.

Danny flashed into visibility in front of his parents and prepared himself for a very long chase.  

.

They eventually got hold of animal control.

.

“No, you can’t be here.  I’ve got it cleared with the city to test this stuff, and it’s proprietary. You’re lucky security is on break, so you’d better get your stupid cameras out of here before they get back.”

“But the light–” started Az.

“Pro. Pri. E. Tary.  What. Part. Don’t. You. Get.  Little T, how’s your martial arts class going, can you kick these guys out?”

“Uh,” said Tucker, who was honestly sort of impressed by Ember’s whole performance, improvised as it was.  But then, he supposed she had practice.  It must be hard getting a venue when you were dead and had no money.  Between how she’d altered the stage with her powers and what she was saying now, they might be able to pull this off.  “Maybe?”  He sized up the tallest of the three ‘Investigators.’ “Probably not, actually.”  Not without weapons, anyway.  

“Whatever, it’s not like that’s what I pay you for.”

“You know what?” asked Az, who was, at this point, staring dead-eyed into space.  “I’m done.  Let’s go get cake.”

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said since we got here,” said Ned.  

“Cake,” said Jimmy.  

“Oh, crud,” mumbled Tucker.  

“What?” said Sam.  He could see her head peeking out of an alley a few blocks down.  “Are they not buying it?”

“Worse,” whispered Tucker.  “They’re going for cake.”

.

“Hey,” said Crawly, as the tiger was loaded into the truck by animal control.  “This might have been a bit of a bust, but we can still go get cake.”

“Any day where I get to wrestle a cryptid tiger is a good day,” said Bill.  

“Uh,” said one of the animal control people.  “It’s a regular tiger, just albino.”

Crawly held up a finger.  “Hush, you.”

[kyriolex]

Skibidi Toilet Recap

I thought Skibidi Toilet sounded like sewage when I first heard about it. Then I watched the first 20 episodes and saw the light. This series is a masterclass in exposition and pacing. We learn something new in each video.  

There is a man’s disembodied head in the toilet. His name is Skibidi, and he sings the Skibidi song while making geometrically impossible expressions with his face.

We see miniature dancing people outside an elevator. An elevator...full of urinals. We discover Skibidi has friends who sing acappella with him. One of them has green hair.  

There is a massive Skibidi in a moving toilet the size of a small office building. He sings in slow-mo audio because he is a BIG BOY, and he crushed a human without even noticing. 

Some Skibidis crash a fancy restaurant. They are actively invading the city, not just oblivious. Also this episode reaffirms that BIG BOYS are always surrounded by smaller Skibidis who accompany them like hype men.

We see tanks and helicopters, so we know the government is mounting a defense. A defense against what, you ask? The flying BIG BOYS who spew smaller Skibidis out of their mouths. In case their malice wasn’t obvious, the Imperial March song is also playing to make it extra obvious.

There are people dancing. It’s unclear if the Skibidi’s song is compelling them to dance or not. But we see the POV character - yes, apparently we have a Protagonist - flush a Skibidi down the toilet. The Skibidis can be vanquished! A bunch of other Skibidis burst in to avenge their fallen comrade. Apparently Skibidis have a sense of comradery.

There are a bunch of men marching down the street. Men with security cameras for heads. I’m calling them the Cameramen. They are marching towards the Skibidis, who are racing down the other side of the street. Also a Skibidi attacks the Protagonist because they hold a grudge.

The Skibidis have erected a golden toilet monument in the park. They have conquered enough of the city to replace our heroes with their own likeness. Protagonist kills two nearby Skibidis, then spraypaints a red camera logo on the monument. Security Cameras are no longer the tool of oppressors. They are the sign of rebellion. We know this because a bunch of Skibidis in cop hats immediately come to arrest the protagonist.

The Skibidis have created a church. A BIG BOY in a halo sings the song of his people in a divine tenor. Then some Cameramen come in to attack. The BIG BOY eats one of the Cameramen, but the others flush him down before he can kill again. The Cameramen give Protagonist a thumbs up, proving that he’s not just a fan, but an active member of the rebellion.

We see other species of Cameramen, such as the flying Projector and a giant with a vintage camera for a head. The opposing army has a demon BIG BOY with a horns and a voice so loud the ground shakes.

The BIG BOYS can shoot yellow lasers out of their eyes now.

Oh God the Projectors come in spider mode now. And they have turret guns. They aren’t as strong as a BIG BOY’s lasers though.

There’s a Berserker BIG BOY who moves extra fast and will steamroll his comrades if it means he can kill the Cameramen.

We see a squad of Skibidies. There is one Skibidi in a brown toilet, but most are white. A Cameramen lures the squad down the street with his sick dance moves. Protagonist then blows up the street from his hideout on a building roof. A Skibidi pushes Protagonist off a building. By now it’s obvious Protagonist is like a cockroach - he won’t die.

Protagonist put a camera (or disembodied Cameraman head) in a toilet. He sends the toilet-camera into a Skibidi base, but they recognize the imposter right away. They kill the spy, then send a jumping Skibidi after the protagonist. 

Some Cameramen are spying on some BIG BOY politician. They set up a flying laser to assassinate the politician. The rest of the Skibidis destroy the rebel laser, then immediately come after the Cameramen with BIG BOYs in spider form. It’s obvious they copied the Spider Projectors seen in episode 12. 

One of the larger Cameramen has destroyed the Skibidi monument in the park and is yanking Skibidis out of their toilets. Apparently there are two ways to kill a Skibidi now. Then we see a massive, kaiju-sized cameraman punt some BIG BOYS into a building with his foot. Kaiju Cameraman gives Protagonist a thumbs up. He is the new hope of the Rebellion.

This is only the first FIVE MINUTES and we’ve already got more story and worldbuilding established than some TV seasons.

[zooterchet]

Baby Time (Cronos)

1985: Birth, Mondale loses.

1986: Dr. Spock, Gypsy assassin.

1987: Uncle Sam, Leibenschilitz alliance, "Lennox".

1988: Disney, Duvaliers; "Jack the Ripper" is black.

1989: Berlin Wall, INTERPOL; horse farts, Slovenia shut down.

1990: Lockerbie, Libyan kid porn deleted; "Dream Chair", Dr. Facilier.

1991: Mozart, Warren Buffet; CNN investment.

1992: Islamic Prophecy, Knightfall; daughter with Maces, "Bane", MI-6.

1993: South Park, Avenging Conseince; Detective-Sergeant Dave MacNeal, NORAD boot, author.

1994: Star Trek: TNG, Riker written; Mike Judge passed contract, INTERPOL, MTV.

1995: Cillian Murphy contract, Irish Mob, hired by White Wolf; convert to Satanism, Ba'athist form, "The Omen".

1996: Sexual molestation of Ted Blanchard, covered by Will Morgan, Jefferson Davis; Hopkinton Nordic Alliance begins, diner fund; first air of South Park, for Barack Obama.

1997: Lodge program to kill grandparents revealed, "Damn-Yankee" recruited to MI-6, as "Cypher", "The Matrix".

1998: GTA 3 camera, "all crime is now gay"; Gamespy, Quakeworlder Labs.

1999: Y2K bug, computer clock; Chinese circus shut down, by Mitnick, for kidnapping clowns.

2000: Death of Alice Charlebois nee O'Neill, by Thomas Menino, Canadian spy.

2001: David Charlebois, nominated as undercover cop, by Brett Mulvey, teacher's union; state police "outfits"' targeted, as Attleboro spies, against Massachusetts drug rights for children; death ensue for centuries, "Christ".

2002: Written description of Heath Ledger, as Batman; Heath Ledger accepts contract, from James Holmes and Christopher Nolan; Warner Brothers.

2003: Return to James Madison's law, against baby foot theft; first murder, invention of Narcodan.

2004: Unions replaced with business unions; John McCain against, declared racist by George W. Bush, for wanting free stuff.

2005: 7/7 bombings planned, though Green Berets; David Charlebois, swings summit, towards NYPD and IDF and USMC simultaneously, for War in Iraq.

2006: Hopkinton PD, uncovers labor slavery at Colella's Supermarket; Hamburg, indicted for Rice a Roni beet slavery, "Redneck Rampage".

2007: First print set of Assassin's Creed submitted, as French advertisement to Saint's Row; Catholicism, cool again, like with sack of Gauls.

2008: Staff mails collected, "Gotham City MUSH"; contract disputes, on "Law and Order: Gotham City", to return Masouz family to honor, to avenge Masouz family; IDF, suspects that America, isn't Canada; "Chet", David Charlebois, frames Batman, as Boston Strangler, hunting Harry Potter.

2009: Chemically castrated, for causing "Hard Candy"', teachers outed as terrorists for killing politicians, the jumping kid.

2010: FBI snitches ExSec, as 9/11, temp agencies; Trump is enraged, prints his television shows, and wrestles. Korean Northern logic; last name, is country of origin. Has sexually assaulted women.

2011: "Chet", is fired from M3, for siding against Metro-Terror, murders begin to tally, of spymasters, for Philip J. Morris. Offensive song, printed to heat, to avenge Sandra MacDonald, NSA, killed by Jeffrey Lange, over military service; Jeffrey, "Dr. Leo"', converted to German Neo-Nazi, Lutheran, by new wife, "Sarah Storm". Sarah Storm, had been rejected, by "Chet", for being online contact, instead of RL.

2012: Chet earns SSI, SSDI, Section 8 Housing, and EBT, from snitching Sony, to FBI. Obama, supports Chet, and airs "Gotham"', against his will; giving "Temple on the Mount", as a speech, over and over, from Chet's stolen college admissions essay. Chet continues to fake Islam, confusing "Reliant" at MCM, "Aquarius", former M3 staffer.

2013: Chet creates a hack account on Discord, and snitches the haze of an Arab, at a middle school; Iraqi refugees move to town, Dave stopping an armed robbery, set up by the Irgun. The culprit, the Grandville Mob, the Williamsons, go suicidal.

2014: Dave Charlebois arranges the collapse of Obama, through Rahm Emmanuel, at Furry MUCK, by coming out as gay, to Squal, a frat boy playing animal fucker games; straight, a fur coat man, and a vanilla sexual prostitute seeker.

2015: Chet, preps Trump for the Presidency, through a contact with Jenna Williamson, on Facebook. Recovered doctors, nurses, and social workers, clear Chet's marriage trap, the downfall of the German deputies union. Greg Hill, Lyndon Byers, and Spaz Parziale, come under indictment, for the connection between the NYPD, and the IRA.

2016: Comey, is fired, for refusing to side against morality, in favor of the code that doomed Trump, the individual interviewing.

2017: Chet checks into SNHU, the new ITT Tech. He begins compiling notes, amounting to thousands of pages at end of gather.

2018: Trump, during the midterms, establishes a Russian Mafia plan, to incarcerate Natives and Siberians. Flat tops, the Old Worlders, are incarcerated instead. Chet spent 8 years doing this, until South Park aired this, firing anyone that listens to South Park, as Cartman; the intent of Dave MacNeal's series, for Alice's mental health.

2019: Chet reveals the Unitarians, as transgender accountants, Totenkopf; war with Putin ensues.

2020: Chet removes medical, draft, and gay commitments as prison, from Israeli power.

2021: Chet institutes a buyout of the Canadian Freemasons, by free Iraq.

2022: The GOP is alerted, blacks are GOP, not Republican. Che Guevera is defeated.

2023: Present.

[ashfellowlocal]

Part 3.1: Heist, pt. 1/2

Grigori, Nadia and Axel were gathered in the packed and messy Workshop. "So, good news and bad news. Good news is I managed to make you these." Grigori had just completed manufacturing an improved version of the energy-absorbing gloves that had so recently caught fire. Taking them, Nadia looked skeptical. "Fingerless?"

"A design choice, and it'll help direct your lightning, this time with no malfunctions. How do I know? Because I made these." He tapped on two flat orbs on the back of both gloves. "Strobe emitters. Excess energy is stored in the gloves and can be directed to these bad boys, producing a flash bright enough to blind anyone. Honestly, I can't wait to see you use it, but I know it'll be way too dangerous indoors. Also, we have a problem." John appeared coming down the steps.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Nadia looked to John.

"We're breaking into a health centre."

"What do you mean breaking in? There's no breaking in, that's a suicide mission. Union will have guards all over the damn place, there's no way we can get past them without hurting people."

"Relax. What do you think I've been doing? For the past 2 weeks I've been doing a bit of spying around, trying to find a way to get into their archives. There's a facility not far from here, Greg's hacked into their cameras at every entrance and exit, and I think I found our way in. There is a catch, though; we'll need to split up. A big group of four won't go unnoticed for too long. How hard can it be, right?"

An hour later, the team arrived at the health centre, a small 2-storey building much like the hospital John and Nadia had been to. With white walls and a green Union Genetics logo, there was a line snaking from the front entrance. To the side were a pair of armed guards clad in dark clothing. "Friends of yours?" John asked.

"Union thugs. They look enhanced, these uniforms are new to us. They must be experimenting on the guards." Axel rolled his eyes, "now we have more things to worry about."

"See? What kind of friend would I be if I don't keep you on your toes? Now come on, to that back alley." They parked the car out of sight of the guards, and made their way to a small, high window. Axel knew the plan. He climbed up on Grigori's shoulders, pressed his hands on the window and melted it. Climbing in, he took care not to make any noise as John teleported after him.

"Where do you think that leads?" Nadia turned to Grigori

"If they're lucky, the archive room. If not, then we're in for a long day." They dashed through the alley, avoiding the many people in the street, arriving at a fire escape ladder, which they climbed. "Be careful." Grigori warned. Nadia broke the sealed door and they slipped inside.

They had arrived at a stairwell. Looking out, they saw a doorway to a well-kept corridor, with a dropped ceiling and pale green and white walls. Here, patients were being led into various stations where they disappeared behind closed doors. Another corridor showed patients filling in forms, and some in wheelchairs being escorted about. Nadia and Grigori observed as masked nurses and doctors strode around busily.

Discreetly, they walked past the hustle and bustle, keeping their eyes averted. Signs told them they were in the East wing of the building. As they continued on, they saw more patients, some with burns and skin legions, others with missing appendages and heavy casts. Small children were being led to rooms labelled "VACCINATIONS", while doctors asked parents for their medical records. The place was surprisingly large from the inside, Nadia thought. They kept scanning around them until Grigori found a sign saying "IMMUNISATION".

Nodding to each other, they followed it. This section was noticeably cleaner than the one before, the cement walls making way for polished white marble. The ceiling was higher, too, from which the clean tile floor was bathed in pale yellow light. As they looked around, they saw a few more kids, some crying and thrashing about, some being brought quietly behind closed curtains.

Nadia stopped as she watched a boy struggling to get away from the doctor. "It's totally reasonable, but I promise you, the shot won't hurt a bit." The doctor was speaking calmly to the parents as they tried to calm the boy. Stooping down, she said "This will make you big and strong! It'll make you feel all better." Putting an arm around him, the doctor managed to lead the boy inside, his parents smiling encouragingly. Nadia made to run after the boy, but Grigori stopped her. Frowning, he called to the parents.

"Excuse me, I noticed your kid is getting his shots. I'm trying to find out if this immunotherapy thing will be good for my kid, too. She's 18 now and she's always had trouble with allergies." He let go as Nadia pulled her hand away impatiently.

The pair had noticed Nadia's balled fists. They seemed concerned. "Well, uhh, you could ask one of the doctors about that. We approached them a few days ago and they were the ones who recommended it, said it was an proven immunizer serum, supposed to take care of allergies, diseases, viral infections, all kinds of stuff, especially for young kids." They pointed toward a stack of flyers on a small desk. Taking one, Nadia and Grigori read.

Union Health; We're here to help.

Introducing VitaLife, the first step to living a fuller life.

Union Genetics invites you to enjoy the full benefits of a life without illness.

This HDSA-approved serum introduces revolutionary genetic biomedicine to produce an entirely safe and reliable immunisation programme with proven results.

Benefits include, but are not limited to:

Immunity to all known respiratory diseases

Improved sleep/Reduced restlessness

Immunity to all known allergens

Improved blood flow/Increased energy

Immunity to all known viral infections

Improved bodily absorbtion of nutrients

Side effects may vary from:

Initial drowsiness

Night terrors

Headaches

Vomitting

Momentary lapse of memory

We from Union Genetics proudly welcome you to a safer, healthier and more fulfilling life. We're here to help.

Please approach your nearest Union Health Centre Specialist for more information.

As they walked away, Nadia burst out, "Why did you do that? Look at what this is, they're probably pumping that kid full of M right now!"

"I get what you mean, but that's not reason enough to cause a scene here, especially not when potentially everyone is looking for you. I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this, but we can't risk getting caught now, that does nothing to help!" Nadia pushed Grigori's arms away.

"You don't understand. None of you do. There are kids here just like Axel and I, getting pumped full of drugs right under our noses! I don't give a shit about what Union does to me, but I'd be damned if I watch another kid go through this." All around them, through rows and rows of similar doors, children are led to a "fuller life".

"Think, Nadia! We don't even know what we're dealing with here. That child isn't the mission right now, and if we lose this, we may never get the chance again. We may never figure this out, this is our best lead. There is a plan, and we will end this, but running head-on isn't the solution. I wish it was that simple, but there is a process, and it will work."

"You sound just like them. Union. They were always telling us not to ask too many questions, to keep our heads down and focus on the mission." Nadia was crying angry tears as she stared at the children all lined up for Union's taking. She felt sick as she relived gut-wrenching memories. Seeing the joyful light in the children's eyes, she put a hand to her mouth and ran to the nearby bathroom.

Following Nadia, Grigori brushed and held her hair from her cheeks as she threw up. As she got to her feet, washed her face and gulped down some water, Grigori handed her a sheet of disinfectant wipes. "You just carry that with you all day?" She took the sheet and rubbed her shirt somewhat clean. "I never leave home without it." They stared into the mirror silently.

"I'm sorry for what I said. I understand you only want to save these kids from suffering the way you and Ace did. It was selfish of me to demand anything of you when I don't really even know you that well. I can't tell you how to feel or what to think, but I respect you. Again, I'm sorry."

"It's not easy, opening up about... all of that. Even when I try to forget about it, I see someone, hear something, hell, I taste something that brings me back to that God-forsaken place. It hurts. I can't even look at children, at Axel, without fearing for them. It makes me feel so-"

"Vulnerable." Grigori was watching her with solemn eyes. "I get it. You feel helpless having to feel so much, and so often. It's exhausting, I understand, believe me. Look, I know I said I can't tell you what to think, but speaking as a friend, maybe you can look at it differently. Having all these worries, these protective instincts make you stronger, more resilient. Maybe as much as you think Axel needs you protecting him, you need him more than anything. He makes you stronger. I've seen how hard you train, how you push yourself to be stronger for him, for both of you. He gives you purpose, something to fight for other than yourself. The same with these kids, wanting to protect them can help you become more, not less."

Another long pause. Then, Nadia spoke. "Thanks, Greg. I've never had anyone listen to me say those things before. I needed that, really." A deep breath, a smile and they embraced. Suddenly, the door to the bathroom burst open, and they were quickly surrounded by black-clad guards.

"FREEZE! HANDS UP AND GET ON YOUR KNEES, NOW!"

[the-ever-flowing-styx]

live reacting to ‘Big Ass Spider’ because i like to spread misery

Immediately bad vibes from ‘Splendid Film’, ‘Epic Pictures’ and ‘Film Entertainment Pictures’

what is this opening shot

he looks so emotionless and yet surprised

decent sfx ngl but that GREEN SCREEN

French man with a gay run

boobs

that sure is a Big Ass Spider!™️

why does he look happy now?????

TITLE SCREEN

butterworth

is that old lady groping him

‘butterWORTHLESS’

is this movie secretly anti-government????

she’s flirting with him ew

is he dead??

immediate ass shot on the first female character

gratuitous shirt removal

is he pretending to be a spy??

he is such a slut

he is a slutty slutty man

the score thinks this is a horror movie

the corpse is movinggg

spoke to soon on the score oops

spidey fingies

why is the light flickering????

is that a drill holy shit that is pathetic

WHY IS THE LIGHT FLICKERING

IT'S A SPIDER

nom

my favourite part of big ass spider is when the big ass spider said it’s spider time and spidered all over the place

fire alarm with no thingy to hit it

gay

argue argue

what are those hand movements

fthpthpthp

the morgue guy looks horrified

this plot wouldn’t happen if it wasn’t set in America

this movie has very unsubtle anarchist overtones

JESUS FUCK THAT BITE

the boss took a shot of aspirin what why

he looks bewildered

the security guard pulled a GUN on him

apparently this is a buddy cop movie but the buddies aren't cops???

fuckin ew bro

maybe it was a spider monkey

he's so deadpan i love him

rotating jose from big ass spider! in my head like a microwave

finally! actual police officers !!

no it's the ARMY

if i was a spider i would be spiders georg next question

jose is so me coded

he's just a little guy !!!1

just go down to the machine room normally??? what is this littlest pet shop shit

the army mans voice sounds dubbed why

contagion? like the hit movie contagion?

IT'S IN THE VENTS LIKE FROM AMOUNGUS

old man gonna dieee

oh no they're both in the vents from amoungus

D:

that is a nest bro what the fuckk

why is he fangirling over the murder spider???

fire

old man cowboy

the extras look so out of it i feel bad for them

weirdos

'kwahdruhpuhled'

'kwahdruhpuhle'

the intern that did that sfx makeup is very talented

'pepwpewprepwepwpechewspceww'

her outfit is so impractical

me when i get you

the spider being a greedy capitalist is really making me think about how purposeful this stuff is

the acting performance is giving the villains from home alone

but not in a fun way

why are you shooting at it?? it's a spider????

turn on the fucking lights nitwits

slut

please don't eat it

why are you struggling so much it's a coin on some overrated thread

oh it spits acid now

and that is the worst sfx so far

'arikhnid?'

ily jose never leave me again

THAT'S THE NAME OF THE MOVIE

slut

jose is perfection

btw that twitter really exists look it up

shitty greenscreen plane my beloved

hacker montage

that is a big ass spider

'theree'

how is alex a miracle

jose is the miracle i see now

jose looks so rad in his sunnies

goofy ass camera quality

30???????

‘mahlted’

the music thinks this movie is so much scarier than it is

they look like npcs

did he forget his own name???

why did she answer the phone for some rando??????????

i love you jose

oh no people

they are playing beach volleyball in a park

gratuitous boob shot

gay walk strikes again

PERVERT

‘HAAAAGGHHHHH’

his shoe falled off :(

why is he aiming a gun at his computer screen

bro this is so far out of your jurisdiction

more anarchist overtones

so unsubtle

child no

just barely missed the child

is this movie anti police now too????

there are not thousands of people in the park there are maybe ten

no alex you cannot have your bribe back

that sure is a big ass spider

gratuitous boob shot

girl why are you still having a picnic there is a big ass spider murdering people

ass shot

worse sfx ever

omg hiiiiii

is this technically an alex ex machina??

yes jose get 'im

‘noooahhsh’

‘ your SPANGLISH is pressuring me’

alex stop being a fucking slut

chasing pussy and chasing spiders

‘MY TRUCK‼️’

pew

pew pew pew

jumpies

emotional WHIPLASH

why is she holding her earpiece they are talking in the real

noo jose lost his glasses :(

‘eksplohsiv’

so dramatic music

why are you touching him

they accidentally turned on the black and white filter

oops

bzzz

oh no she’s stuck how awfull

‘youah visinihtee’

me when i peel you

alex ex machina 2: electric boogaloo

this didn’t work last time and it won’t work this time

JOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!

jose has plot armour and i’m thrilled

‘ruhn ahmuhk’

bro intentionally or not you made it

alien biology????

girl what the plot of this movie just did a 180

so true jose so true

‘woharld’

jesus christ you'd think to check your plants before you BREED THEM WITH ALIENS

no he doesn’t he’s talking out of his ass

he’s so stupid i hate him

omg this is the start of the movie

jumpies

png ass reflection

‘terhmihnaytoh’

crinkle

wow they found her. good job?

why do you trust these random ass men

i understand blindly trusting jose but alex????

THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE HORNY

how is she still fine

THE EGGS ARE HATCHING FUCK

jose figured it out :D

you just have to shoot the spider in the ass simple as

why do they have a flamethrower.

hey now saying you’re done with science is actually fucking weird bro

procedurally generated lookin street

ITS THE BEGINNING

different music? really?? at least commit man

oh thank god jose is fine

if jose was in literally any other movie

if jose doesn’t survive i swear

jose slayed that backwards hat

jose is such a girl boss for this

oh my god alex why are you making jokes right now

she was literally being dragged to her death no there was a boob shot fuck me with a chainsaw

if they kiss i’m suing

missiles!!!

no he did not that is bullshit

of course it’s still alive, spiders don’t take fall damage /s

babe????? whyyyyyyy???????????

cmon jose i believe in you :D

he’s so babygirl

how did that work

OMG it’s called Big Ass Spider! because they shot it in the ass!!!

shut up jose did all the work

this makes me angry

i am going to vomit

yes jose they should get a room

teaser for Big Ass Cockroach!

okay it’s over now, if you’re here thank you so much

[yugraj321]

Advantages of Using Safety Hidden Cameras

It is said that spy camera technology is invented for secret agents or detectives. Even though it is true, these devices have evolved a lot in the last few years. As a result, you can now use a spy wireless hidden camera in Green Park to keep an eye on precious possessions, kids, nannies, elderly people, employees, etc. The objective of these cameras is to capture a place in complete discretion. When it comes to the types, the providers use a number of items to make hidden cameras so that maximum covertness can be provided.

 Are you puzzled? Do you have questions before investing in such a safety device? Do you want to get detailed information about the benefits that are offered by the spy cameras? To find answers before reaching the nearest spy camera shop in Delhi, you are suggested to read this post. So, stay on this page and read this article till the end to make a wise choice. Let us get started!

 Reasons to buy and use wireless hidden cameras in Green Park

We all know that spy cameras are a great option for monitoring and surveillance but these new-age tools come with so many exciting features. In addition to these, the following are some of the greatest reasons to get one for your place right away:

· Spy cameras also have a budget-friendly range to protect you and your loved ones

Most people drop the idea of buying a spy safety camera for monitoring and surveillance because of the price tag. They think that these devices are for a specific group of people and will be very costly. However, this is not true. If you go to the right spy camera shop in Delhi, you will be provided with some budget-friendly options. By finding and getting an economical spy camera, you can see who is coming and going from the property or whether your employees are working and following the rules properly or not.

· Get notifications of unusual activities

When you buy a spy camera with motion detection feature, you will be provided with instant notifications whenever it detects something unusual. This feature is highly useful when you are placing the spy camera within your house or workplace. Since any place can be on the top of the hit list of intruders, you cannot predict anything. But yes, you can install a spy camera there to see what is going on. It is also said that burglars are less likely to approach a property for their ill intentions if there is a spy camera or CCTV camera installed. You can also prevent your property and take the necessary actions whenever something happens.

·  Spy cameras come with the ability to record useful evidence

Do you want to capture evidence of something? If yes, then no other device is better than spy wireless hidden camera in Green Park. It is because most of spy cameras come in the shape and design of the items that you see or use in everyday life. For instance, you can monitor the activities of people working within your home or office to see if they are responsibly working or not by using a spy wall clock camera or spy wall painting camera. In case there is anything fishy, you will have its useful evidence to present and take the required action against the person.

· Trespassing can be avoided with hidden safety cameras

Many times, strangers may enter your property with or without any intentions. Since they do not ask for your consent, it is good to have a spy wireless hidden camera in Green Park placed for complete coverage. With the help of these devices, you can see the activities taking place in your absence.

·  Record your pet, his activities, and behavior

In the recent time, the incidents of dogs’ attack on their owners have been increased. Since you can only assume what has had happened, it is good to keep a close check of your pet. For this, you can place a camera in the areas where your pet lives or spends most of his time. With close monitoring, you can see what he or she is doing, how she or he handling things or behaving, or reacting on activities. By having all these useful details, you can observe them and notice if something is not good.

 The bottom line

Spy cameras are considered one of the most reliable solutions for the safety of kids and parents with special needs. If you also have all these needs, then it is good to connect with a professional spy camera shop in Delhi – Spy Shop Online. Here, you will not only get a wide range of safety cameras but reasonable prices are also be ensured. For more details or avail of the FREE DEMO, call them now.

[deux-jared]

since winter break is ending, i’m cleaning out my travel bag. so here’s everything. that i’ve been carrying around these weeks and it’s kinda an i spy game bc there’s so much

list of items below ofc

customized slimecicle mug from @levlies889 (there’s dried cola in the bottom i’ve been using it for a week straight)

very full grey pencil case with a needle im using stuck in it

grey cat bag where i keep little skin care items

parrot wallet my beloved

blue worm on a string without the string

RAINBOW SLUG <33333

red and yellow notebooks (the red one has just abstract art from my favorite mpreg fanfiction

two purple dnd dice (8 and 20 sided)

a generic peppermint chapstick

a jerma flavored chapstick

rosebud lip oil that i stole from my sister

a black lighter

green and pink monster energy tabs

three different pairs of earbuds all with different inputs

comb and small wet brush

four assorted moisturizers (there’s a story here)

bad looking embroidery i started

nine assorted embroidery thread colors

sewing needles and sewing scissors

las vegas key chain that we call my jerma keychain

broken piece of a road bump (i have a lot of these)

locket

loose allergy pill

assorted candy but mainly gingins cause they’re my favorite

blue bearing (there’s also a story here)

there’s a penny that should be there erm

blue franklin bookman if u don’t know what a bookman is look up franklin bookman it’s hard to explain

a tiny beige van

a gold ring i got at an jewelry store at a sketchy amusement park in cuba bc their transfer rate of money was really good so i got it cheap

an expo market cap that my math teacher dropped

flat head screwdriver that is the wrong size for whatever i need it for

brown camo lizard (unnamed) (my favorite guy)

phone charge and block obviously

lemon that i think looks like an apostrophe like from the los campesinos song

purple scissors

skeleton gloves (very useful in cold)

four acorns in bad shape

worry doll keychain

assorted trash from ground that includes mostly glass but also a bolt and the top of an electric cigarette

pocket knife

my keys (peep the mini twister)

hand made jerma button from @dontsaythatillcry

lumix camera that i NEEED to upload a years worth of pictures from

the scariest thing is that there was also a mini bluey figurine and a tin of rose balm and these r very important items and now i can’t find them but i will im sure

[yunkifoldr]

sober ⫘ lee heeseung.

ぬ̳ ‣ word count ♡% !ㅤㅤ624

ぬ̳ ‣ genre ♡% !ㅤㅤangst, tini-tiny fluff at the end if you squint

ぬ̳ ‣ warnings ♡% !ㅤㅤmentions of a break up

ぬ̳ ‣ notes ♡% !ㅤㅤconan gray's song is such a banger, it made me write this piece :’)

you were still up at two in the morning, studying for an approaching test. you take your time to rest and stretch while staring at the dark sky with stars adorning it from your window. with your ex, memories of your late-night trips together, stargazing in a nearby park, drunken attempts to sneak back into your dorms, and many others came flooding back.

your glassy eyes reflected the bright light from your desktop screen, tears falling as you blink. it's not like your break up was messy, but you regretted letting him go. you were engrossed in your exasperation and broke up with him by text. he accepted his defeat, replying to you wishing you the best in life. you never thought your relationship would come to an end, but it did. you two took it for granted, and you both regret how it ended.

your phone screen lit up, ringing. without looking at the number, you picked up the call.

“hello?” you answered, perplexed, wondering who would still be up at this hour on a school day. you were still staring outside your room's window, with your seat now turned on it's way.

“____ ... i miss you,” the caller's voice was deep, it was like the speaker from the other line was melancholic. it was a masculine voice and he sounded too familiar, even the small giggle he let our after calling you by your nickname, so you decided to look at the number.

lee heeseung.

“heeseung?” you asked, trying to confirm if it was really him as he hummed in response. “i prefer it when you call me seung, you're the only one who calls me that,” he blurted out, as your screen lit up once again to display that he has turned on his camera.

“____, open your camera too. i like looking at your pretty face,” you switch on your camera, as if you were being controlled, and position it so that you two can easily see each other. you spy a green-colored bottle, assuming it's soju, and his 'not-so-slurred' speech confirms your suspicions.

heeseung stared at your face, the face he had missed to see every morning before going to uni, the one he sees before sleeping, the one that gives him butterflies, that gives him comfort. you notice his soft, and possibly loving gaze through the screen, and you wish you were as equally intoxicated so you wouldn't recall this conversation with your ex.

sleep almost caught up to you, as you felt your eyelids feeling heavy when you heard heeseung speak again.

“you know that i still love you, right?” he paused, taking a shot before continuing, “let me love you once more, ____. i'll do whatever to be able to call you mine for the second time,” heeseung added. your heart was pounding loudly, heat overtaking on your cheeks. your slowly forming smile dropped with the realization, he was drunk. your innermost and current wish was for him to recall this morning chat you're having with him so he could clear up what he'd been blabbering on about.

“real sweet, heeseung. but i wish you were sober,” you replied, sighing a little too loudly. you turn around and look out the window, surreptitiously wiping away your tears. it was tempting to punch yourself right now for being so vulnerable in front of him. you wanted to end the call, right here, right now, but you couldn't. because he had owned a place in your heart.

“what if i was? will you listen to me? will you give me another chance to prove myself to you?” he questioned, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. you really want to say yes and follow your heart for now, forgetting the past that had tainted your relationship with him and start a new and fresh one,

and so you did.

© yunkifoldr, 2022ㅤ|ㅤrequests are open

[sugarybitterness]

dates with natty - natasha romanoff x reader

word count; 1,017

warnings; none, this is just pure fluff!

a/n; this is me just writing the dates i wish i could go on.. alas i do not have my own natasha to bring out on cute dates.. finally had the motivation to finish this, especially since i’m watching black widow in about 18 hours and i’m more than ready for my heart to both broken and mended all at once😫 anyways!hope y’all enjoy your date with natty!:] feedback is always appreciated and requests are open<3

you typed in the coordinates of your chosen destination for today’s date into the gps, giving natasha a wide smile once you were done. your gaze stays fixed on her face as she read the location you had picked, your heart skipping a beat when you saw the way her eyes widened and turned to you with a hint of shock in them.

“we’re going to the aquarium?” natasha asked, her hand reaching out for yours. a couple nights ago, the redhead had mentioned how she never visited many places of interest for fun, most of the time she was there for some kind of undercover spy mission. the two of you had been going out for a couple months now, but because of your busy schedules and way too many alien attacks on new york, most of your dates were confined to the compound or a nearby restaurant. this was the first time both of you had some time off - courtesy of natasha angrily bargaining with nick fury after you had almost hurt yourself when you quite literally collapsed from exhaustion after a particularly gruelling mission. if natasha hadn’t been waiting for you at the elevator that day, she dreaded to think about what could’ve happened if she didn’t catch you just in time.

“yes natty we’re going to the aquarium,” you giggle softly at the way natasha’s eyes seem to sparkle, your heart absolutely melting when the red head leans over to press a soft kiss to your lips with a soft “thank you baby.” with one hand safely tucked in yours, natasha starts to drive the car out of the compound following the gps to the aquarium. it was a little bit further out but it was one of the biggest and best ones - natasha only deserved the best.

once you were inside the aquarium, you allowed yourself to pulled along by natasha as she wandered around, stopping by whichever tank that caught her eye. as she stood in front of the shark tank, you quietly slipped your phone out of your back pocket and opened your camera app. making sure the flash was off you snapped a few pictures of natasha, smiling to yourself as you swiped through them.

“baby?” you jumped slightly, realising natasha was standing right in front of you, her gaze flickering between your phone screen and your face.

“just wanted some more pictures of my natty,” you smile cheekily at her as you pocket your phone, kissing your girlfriend softly. you felt the grip on your hand tighten as her other hand found a place on your waist. you could never get tired of kissing natasha, it felt so overwhelming soft and warm. when you pulled away, the soft look natasha had in her eyes made you swoon, knowing that you were quite literally the only person she looked at like that.. yeah you were definitely in love with natasha though that didn’t surprise you in the slightest. as you followed her again, allowing her to quite literally drag you around, you knew that there was nowhere you rather be.

after natasha had visited every exhibit in the aquarium at least twice and the two of you bought some souvenirs from the gift shop, natasha drove the two of you to your favourite diner for a late lunch. settling down quickly in your usual booth, you ordered your usuals and as the waiter went off to send your orders to the kitchen as well as prepare your drinks you took the opportunity to snuggle into natasha’s side. you much preferred sitting next to the redhead as opposed to sitting opposite her for this very reason- being able to wrap your arms around her waist and sit as close to her as possible, she felt like a safe haven. natasha simply put her arm around you as she pulled out her phone, looking through the few pictures she took at the aquarium, before settling on a picture she liked the most to set as her new wallpaper. you heart instantly swelled at the sight of the two of you on her phone screen and you looked up at your favourite avenger to see her already staring at you. you smiled softly at the redhead before moving in to plant a soft kiss on her lips, marveling at how that simple act caused a huge smile to grow on natasha’s face.

by the time you two were done eating, it was almost sunset. when natasha deviated from the route back to the compound, you knew exactly where she was taking you. it was a small park, rarely visited by others but it had a beautiful little hill with the perfect spot to watch the sunset. natasha had found the place by complete accident one day, it became one of her favourite places it visit when she needed some alone time and when you became her favourite person- it only felt right to bring you there. your first date ended at the hill, the date where natasha asked you to be officially hers also ended at the hill (she did it there too, which made the place and the memory all the more special to the redhead.)

as the two of you settled down next to each other, fingers intertwined and natasha’s head on your shoulder, you sat in a peaceful silence watching the sun make its descent, beautiful colors painting the sky. eventually your attention shifted from the view in front of you to the one beside you. natasha seemed to glow in the light of the sunset and when her green eyes met yours, it was as if the world around you ceased to exist.

“i love you natty, so so much.” you whispered, as if speaking any louder would break the tranquility surrounding the two of you.

“i love you too y/n, with all of me.” came the whispered reply, before natasha connected your lips in a sweet kiss.

dates with your natty was always the best, there really was no one else you’d rather be with.

[ladylynse]

Dimensional Displacement [FFN | AO3]: Danny has a love-hate relationship with the Fenton Booo-merang. This time, it didn’t do him any favours. This time, it knocked him through a portal—and from what he can glean from the Water Tribe siblings he meets, odds are, there’s a reason for that.

-|-

For @geronimo-alonzi as a thank you for donating to my ko-fi. (Yes, they won my fic giveaway, but I finished this one first.) Loosely based on this three sentence fic.

-|-

Danny had been clobbered in the head by the Fenton Booo-merang more often than he’d like to admit, let alone count, but this was the first time it had knocked him through a portal.

That wouldn’t have been a particularly bad thing if the portal hadn’t immediately closed behind him.

One minute, he’d been minding his own business in the Ghost Zone, coming back from a visit with Frostbite that Jazz must have forgotten about if she’d sent the Booo-merang after him. (Sam was stuck with her parents at some fancy dinner party thing somewhere and Tucker was working on designing a computer game for his comp sci assignment, a class neither Sam nor Danny was in, so it had to have been Jazz.)

The next minute, Danny was…. He didn’t even know where he was. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere. He’d caught the Booo-merang before either he or it had hit the ground, but once he’d righted himself to look around, there was no familiar skyline or something equally useful to him. There were only trees and rocks and dirt roads as far as the eye could see, even from a considerable distance up in the air.

Well.

That wasn’t quite fair. He could see a silver river cutting through the trees in a path roughly parallel to the road, but in terms of helpful things, he was coming up empty.

He didn’t even know which direction he’d need to fly to get to a city. It was too light out to see any distant glow of city lights against the scattered clouds, and all he could smell when he breathed in was fresh air and pine needles and something else—moss? The general mix that was pretty much mulch on the forest floor?—that was decidedly natural, not the signs of human activity he’d been hoping for. Sure, following the road or even the river would get him somewhere sooner or later, but what was he supposed to do, pick a random direction or go eenie meenie minie moe?

Danny did another loop above the trees, looking for some sign of anything, and came up with nothing.

“Come on!” Danny yelled at the patch of blue sky where the portal had closed. He spun in a circle, the Booo-merang clutched tightly in his fist, but it didn’t pull in any direction, and he didn’t catch so much as a glimmer of the familiar green of the Ghost Zone. “Just open up again already!” It was as effective as he’d expected it to be, which was not at all, but screaming out his frustrations made him feel a bit better. “Now! Please?”

Unsurprisingly, the portal didn’t listen.

Out of appealing options, Danny threw the Booo-merang. Logically, he knew it wasn’t the Infi-Map. Logically, he knew that the universe did not often do what was convenient for him, even if he sometimes got incredibly lucky in a fight. Logically, he knew that the chances of the Booo-merang deciding to reprogram itself to find portals just because it had done it this one time (likely coincidentally) were slim to none.

Illogically, he didn’t expect the stupid thing to circle around and hit him in the back of the head again.

Danny cursed and landed to retrieve the fallen Booo-mang from the roadway, muttering under his breath about how much he’d like to just dismantle the thing and hide the pieces. He wouldn’t, of course. It worked too well to risk Sam, Tucker, and Jazz losing the ability to find him if they really needed to. It had been dicey enough the few times his parents had decided to try to ‘fix’ it, only for disaster (Vlad) to strike in the meantime.

That didn’t mean Danny couldn’t fantasize about bashing it against a rock, though. There were plenty of those around.

“That’s a weird looking boomerang,” someone said from behind him, and Danny nearly jumped into the air right there.

He didn’t, mostly because he was getting used to Sam and Tucker trying to surprise him, but it was a near thing.

He wasn’t used to people sneaking up on him. His ghost sense was reliable, Dash made more noise walking around than even Jack Fenton, and, well, most of the people who hunted him couldn’t be subtle if they tried, especially since a good chunk of them liked hearing their own voice. He’d only ever really had to worry about Jazz, and self-preservation in the face of tickle attacks had given him the ability to be extra sensitive to her presence whenever she was in a certain mood.

The two who’d caught him by surprise now must have come from the trees on the other side of the road, and he hoped that meant they hadn’t seen him do anything particularly ghostly. Granted, neither of them was screaming, so he should be safe. They didn’t look terrified, either. Wary, maybe, but not scared.

Danny guessed that they were both somewhere around his age. Siblings, by the looks of them, but probably not twins even if they’d both decided to leave the house wearing oddly styled blue clothes today, at least compared to the usual jeans and T-shirt combo Danny was used to seeing. Unless he wasn’t anywhere near the States anymore? Or unless he’d been flung through to a different time. But the boy had spoken English, and it hadn’t sounded funny to Danny’s ears, no lilt of a foreign accent or strange phrasing that he associated with Shakespeare or something.

The girl was his height, the boy a bit taller, and they were both staring at him.

They probably thought he was the one who was dressed strangely.

The boy pointed. “Your boomerang,” he repeated. “It looks weird.”

The girl elbowed him in the gut—none too gently, judging by his immediate wheeze—and hissed, “Sokka!”

Yeah, those two were definitely siblings. And even if the girl wasn’t older, she definitely had the annoying (and annoyed) sister tone down pat. Danny had heard (and been on the receiving end of) the same from similar exchanges with Jazz more than once.

“Sokka’s going to apologize, right, Sokka?”

The boy frowned and then threw up his hands. “Right. I apologize for saying your boomerang looks weird. It looks interesting.”

The girl stepped on his foot, and he yelped. “What was that for?”

“You know what that was for!”

“It’s fine,” Danny said. He still wasn’t entirely sure what was going on. Maybe the portal had dumped him out in the middle of some historical re-enactment thing. Granted, there should really be more people around if that were the case—or at least hidden cameras. He was better at spotting them now. Vlad and his creepy spy tendencies aside, Danny had gotten good at noticing (and avoiding) cameras so he didn’t let his secret get caught on tape. (There were a surprising number of places in Amity Park not under video surveillance, or at least not under real video surveillance even if they had fake cameras out; he could practically transform in the middle of the street sometimes.)

Still, nothing about this felt staged. It didn’t even feel like one of his enemy’s tricks, some giant setup that was meant to trap him or whatever. That’s not to say Danny was wholly convinced this meeting, whatever it was, was merely chance—he didn’t particularly trust Clockwork not to arrange things as he saw fit without warning anyone—but it didn’t feel overly contrived, either. There was just….

Something felt off, and he couldn’t explain what it was.

“It’s fine,” Danny repeated, since the two were looking at him dubiously, but the familiar phrase felt strange on his tongue, almost like—

Wait.

“Okay, this is going to sound like a weird question, but where are we?”

The boy, Sokka, blinked. “Did you hit your head or something? We’re in the Earth Kingdom. Or, wait, do you mean where in the Earth Kingdom? Look, if you need new supplies, there’s not much in the last few villages, but we’re about a day from—”

The girl elbowed him again, and he fell silent. Danny could see the growing suspicion on her face for what it was, could see suspicion settling on the boy’s face as well, but he wasn’t sure if it was because he’d asked the wrong question or because he’d asked something at all. He’d been paying attention this time, watching Sokka’s lips, and Danny didn’t have to be a good lip reader to know that he hadn’t been saying the words Danny had heard.

Well.

More accurately, he hadn’t been saying them in English.

And Danny, in answering, had somehow not been speaking English.

That was not, as far as Danny was aware, something Clockwork could do to him.

He didn’t know a ghost who had power over language, though, unless the Ghostwriter had something else up his sleeve and this mess was it. Nocturne would be able to pull anything in a dream, but Danny couldn’t see why he’d bother including something that would be an obvious tell like this, so it shouldn’t be him even if he had decided to come back. More likely, it was someone he hadn’t fought before, someone who had targeted him, seen an opportunity when the Booo-merang had hit him and seized upon it to throw him…here.

Wherever here was.

The Earth Kingdom, apparently.

“Um.” The girl still looked like she expected him to start fighting, and her stance…. Danny didn’t recognize it, but he did know that she looked ready to move at any moment. Her brother had taken her cue and, while Danny hadn’t been paying attention, pulled out a boomerang of his own. That couldn’t be good. “Look. I know how this sounds.” How he sounded, more like. If he had some accent he couldn’t hear because he wasn’t speaking their language properly, whatever it was, this had to be a setup after all.

Someone had sent him here to be dealt with. By this world, this dimension or construct or whatever it was, if not necessarily by these two people.

Granted, Danny wasn’t sure why someone would go to the trouble of letting him understand and be understood in the first place if that were the case, since he could get in just as much trouble without speaking the native language.

Surely he wasn’t actually supposed to help someone here, right? This wasn’t even his world. Or the Ghost Zone. Whatever was going on here was most definitely not his business.

Except now he was in the middle of it, so if there was something going on, it would be beneficial to find out what it was sooner rather than later.

This wasn’t some Jumanji kind of thing where he’d been tossed into a game and had to do whatever it was to get out again, was it? It didn’t feel like the time he’d gone into Doomed, but that had been intentional, and this….

Okay, no, he didn’t have enough information to speculate, which meant he needed to get some information out of these two in order to get somewhere. “I just…. I was kidnapped and dumped here for some reason, and I’m trying to find my way home.” That was close enough to the truth that it shouldn’t raise any red flags. Hopefully. “My name is Danny.” Introducing himself as Phantom, even in ghost mode, wasn’t something he wanted to do when he had no idea how these people felt about ghosts. Besides, it wasn’t like they’d ever see him as Fenton. He just needed to stick to the ground and pretend to be a normal human being, which he could most definitely do—at least when the sun was bright enough that his slight glow was basically nonexistent. He doubted it would be terribly noticeable even under the cover of trees.

“Danny,” the girl repeated, not relaxing her stance. “That’s an unusual name.”

Sokka just cocked his head at Danny. “Why would anyone kidnap you?”

It was spoken like it was an innocent, thoughtless question, something that could be brushed away with a laugh, but Danny could read an underlying tension in each of their faces. Sokka was waiting on his answer, and so was his sister. Danny’s response might very well determine what happened next.

Consequently, Danny didn’t miss the fact that Sokka didn’t offer up any potential explanations that he could jump on.

Another lie wasn’t going to do him any favours, not when he knew so little. “I don’t know.” He could guess, but he didn’t know. From the looks of it, though, these two wouldn’t be satisfied with that. Chances were good they wouldn’t be particularly satisfied with his suspicions, either, which was that someone wanted him out of the way for whatever they were planning—or maybe that someone had decided they wanted to have a little fun with him at his expense, if world domination wasn’t on the table. “My parents are inventors. Maybe that’s why?”

“That doesn’t explain why whoever took you would leave you here,” Sokka pointed out, and Danny wished these two weren’t so smart. “If you were taken because you were valuable, you wouldn’t have been left behind unguarded.”

“So maybe they kidnapped the wrong person and realized that I wasn’t who they wanted?”

Sokka exchanged glances with his sister before murmuring, “We can ask Toph. I mean, it’s possible they found us, but if he is really a Fire Nation plant picked solely for his eye colour, they’d have at least dyed his hair and given him some normal clothes.”

Danny decided not to ask who the heck picked people for something based on eye colour and not skill or merit or experience or something normal like that. Aside from derailing the conversation from anything potentially useful, Danny was pretty sure Sokka hadn’t realized he’d been overheard, and it wouldn’t be in Danny’s best interests to let them know how good his hearing was.

Still, he took the opportunity to tuck away the Booo-merang before they could ask any questions about it that he wasn’t up to answering. Maybe it would make him seem like less of a threat if they didn’t think he was ready to use it as a weapon—not that he knew how to use a boomerang as a weapon, but he was pretty sure Sokka hadn’t pulled his out to see which of them could throw it farther or throw it properly—and maybe then they’d trust him enough to answer his questions. Hopefully. He was perfectly willing to meet this Toph if it meant figuring out where he was and how to get home, especially since it would be easy enough for him to cut and run later.

The movement was enough to draw the attention of the siblings, though, and both pairs of eyebrows rose. Had they not expected him to make what he hoped would be taken as a gesture of trust or were they wondering how the heck he’d gotten it into his pocket? Maybe they thought he was trying to hide it, which wouldn’t help matters at all. Then again, if they thought that he thought it had been a subtle move, then maybe—

No.

He had to stop doing this. He didn’t know enough about these two to try to guess their thoughts, let alone what actions they might take against him.

Danny shifted on his feet, glad they hadn’t jumped to attacking and that they weren’t even asking questions about the Booo-merang, since practically anything about it would be difficult to answer. At least they hadn’t seen him flying. Even for people familiar with ghosts, unknown ones tended to be cause for concern until their threat level was assessed, and Danny didn’t want to invite trouble and immediately find out what this world had that messed with ghosts. Sure, he wanted to know what could hurt him here, but finding out while it wasn’t actively being used against him was infinitely preferable.

“Where did you say you were from?” the girl asked after a beat, even though they all knew he’d never said anything about that.

“Nowhere you would know,” he hedged, which was true enough.

“We travel a lot,” the girl said, and her brother snorted.

“What Katara means is, try us. If we can help you get back to your family, what do you have to lose?” Sokka offered Danny a grin, and his stance had visibly relaxed, even if he hadn’t put his boomerang away. It might be just for show, especially since he still had a weapon out, but at least the girl hadn’t drawn any knives or something like that. “Look, from one guy to another, you don’t need to make up some crazy story if you’re a runaway or something like that. We’re basically runaways.”

“We’re running towards something, not away from it.”

“We were almost runaways.” To Danny, Sokka added, “Gran caught us, but she let us go.”

Katara rolled her eyes, and Danny looked between the two of them as Sokka continued talking. It was obvious that they’d changed tack for some reason, no doubt trying to get him to trust them, but the blatant switch made him uneasy. Did they not realize how obvious that was or was this just their usual dynamic?

“I’m from Amity,” Danny eventually interrupted. He knew from the way that they were looking at him that neither of them had forgotten he had yet to answer the question. He’d already told them they wouldn’t know the place, so technically he could’ve said Amity Park, but for all he knew, these two had been sent to get information out of him, and the less he told a potential enemy, the better.

Come to think of it, maybe he shouldn’t have told them his real name, and maybe he should’ve just made up a village name rather than dropping heavy hints about his hometown.

“Which is near—?”

Danny ignored Sokka’s prompt. He didn’t even have a good enough idea of the geography of this place to make that up, especially when there was a chance they knew the area, runaways or no. “Do you know where I could get some water? I haven’t found any since I woke up.” That wasn’t true, but they wouldn’t know that unless they were getting some more intel about him from someone unseen.

The siblings looked at each other again, and then Katara faced him and said, “We’re headed to the river. Come with us. You can get your water, and we can share our catch if we get anything.”

“Wait, I didn’t agree to share my meat!” Sokka exclaimed. Katara’s only answer was a dirty look, but it was enough to have Sokka subsiding into grumbles.

“I’m not hungry yet,” Danny said, which also strictly wasn’t true, but he knew he didn’t need to eat much.

“You might be hungry by the time we’re finished,” Katara said over Sokka’s griping.

Danny hesitated, trying to figure out how weird it would be if he made up some excuse not to go with them. What were the chances that this was a trap when he’d brought up the river—or at least water—before they had? It wasn’t that he thought they’d be able to take him out if it came to that, even if Jazz had more experience fighting normally than he did, since he typically relied a lot on his powers when he could.

These two might be better fighters than him—there were almost certainly better hunters, given how silently they could walk—but he’d always have something like intangibility in his back pocket if it came to it, and they wouldn’t. Still, when it came down to it, he wasn’t used to fighting humans. What if he didn’t pull his punches enough and seriously hurt one of them?

“You can tell us about Amity,” Katara added. “We’ve never been there.”

Danny really hoped that was true and that there wasn’t a place in this world called Amity that they knew well. Still, when they started walking, spreading out so he was always in sight and they never had their backs to him, even when they hit the trees on the other side of the road, he kept pace with them. “It’s pretty much like you’d expect.” Except for the ghosts. At least his ghost sense hadn’t gone off here. Yet. “This is probably the farthest I’ve ever travelled from home.” He couldn’t get much farther away than a completely different dimension that (probably) wasn’t as connected to his world as it was to the Ghost Zone, anyway—unless he counted when he’d time travelled, but he wasn’t about to bring that up.

Katara opened her mouth to ask another question, maybe to press him for details, so Danny cut her off. “What about you two?”

They looked at each other again. How many times were they going to do that? Hadn’t they already decided how far to trust him? Danny knew it wasn’t very far, but they’d clearly decided he wasn’t going to straight up attack them at this precise moment, so even if they didn’t tell him the whole truth—

Sokka gestured at their clothes. “We’re Water Tribe.”

He said it like it was obvious, like Danny should’ve known already, but of course it explained absolutely nothing.

“Southern Water Tribe,” Katara added unhelpfully, despite Sokka’s frown. “We wanted to see the world, and now we are.”

As cover stories went, it was better than Danny’s. Barely. “Right,” he said, wondering again why he’d been dumped in the path of these two. “It’s a nice world to see.”

Somehow, that was the wrong thing to say, because they were both looking at him like they’d expected him to say anything but that. “What?”

“There’s a war on, you’re supposedly kidnapped and dropped off somewhere in occupied territory without any of the proper paperwork, and the best you can come up with is it’s a nice world to see?” Sokka turned his incredulous look from Danny to Katara. “He cannot be Fire Nation. This kid is more sheltered than Toph was supposed to be.”

Danny, who had stumbled at the word war, kept walking and hoped they hadn’t noticed. If they had, maybe they’d think he’d tripped over a tree root or fallen branch or hole or something. They weren’t following a trail, so that was a perfectly reasonable explanation, right?

“It’s all right,” Katara said as she reached out to touch his arm, and, okay, from that gentle tone, which was a complete change from anything earlier, it must mean she had noticed, knew he hadn’t tripped over anything in the terrain, and—from how she was looking at him now—thought it wasn’t surprise that had tripped Danny up, either. “Trust me, I know what it’s like to be a little naïve until you have a chance to leave home for the first time, but unless you’re got a camp around here, you’re not prepared at all.”

Sokka finally put his boomerang away and smirked at Danny. “We at least left home with supplies.”

“Did you have to run without any warning?” Katara asked, giving her brother a pointed look.

“Oh, uh, kinda.” Danny winced, knowing that had to sound like a lie. “I…I didn’t really plan on leaving when I did. This just…happened.”

Sokka raised an eyebrow, but Katara said, “You don’t have to worry. We’re the last people who would turn you in to the Fire Nation.”

Right. So the Fire Nation were the bad guys, at least according to the Water Tribe and, if he was putting things together correctly, the Earth Kingdom, where they were. Meaning the Fire Nation had invaded the Earth Kingdom if this was occupied territory. Danny thought about asking why these two had come into occupied territory themselves and then decided he didn’t want to risk getting into a discussion that would show off how little he knew. If they had decided he was a runaway who knew practically nothing about the world, well, that worked in his favour.

“Thanks.” Danny wasn’t sure what else to say. “Why are you helping me, though? Won’t that put you in danger?” That had to be a fair question in this situation.

“We can’t help everyone,” Katara said quietly, “but we can help some people, even if it’s just a tiny bit. Sometimes, that has to be enough.”

Danny really didn’t know what to say to that, because she certainly wouldn’t understand if he said he knew the feeling, so he smiled weakly in thanks and let the conversation drop.

They were still watching him, but they were more subtle about it now, and it didn’t look like they were watching him more closely than they were watching everything else.

Being downgraded from a threat was a win, though. Danny hoped he didn’t do anything to mess it up.

“There’s no shame in being a refugee,” Sokka said after a moment. “Being from a richer family might’ve bought you an isolated childhood, but it wouldn’t guarantee your safety.”

“We won’t try to hold you for ransom if you tell us where you’re really from,” added Katara.

Danny glanced at her. “I said I was from Amity.”

“I could say I have a platypus bear as a pet,” Sokka interjected. “That doesn’t make it true.”

“We know what it’s like, thinking you understand the way things are and then realizing how little you know,” Katara said quietly. “It can be overwhelming.”

“And it would explain why you’re in your nightclothes,” Sokka said. He’d come in range of Katara’s fist, but he danced out of the way as she swung in his direction. He hadn’t even needed to look at her to know it was coming. “You didn’t know enough to keep your valuables hidden and got robbed your first night on your own, didn’t you?”

“I—” Danny knew it was an excuse for his ignorance being handed to him on a silver platter, but he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep up with a lie like that when he knew so little. “These aren’t my pajamas,” he said instead. Let them believe what they wanted to believe; that would make his life easier. Even if it blew up in his face somehow, he could truthfully say he’d never said they were right.

They might be suspicious that he hadn’t outright denied it, but then again, he’d already told them something a lot closer to the truth.

“Uh huh.” Sokka glanced at Katara again, and she gave a slight shake her head that Danny didn’t understand.

“Let’s get you some food and water first,” Katara said. “Then we can see about finding you other supplies.”

Danny decided not to point out that they’d already told him it was slim pickings for supplies around here. Not that he had the money to pay for anything, but Sokka had already guessed that. Besides, they thought he was running around in his pjs.

Judging by the sour look on Sokka’s face, he’d evidently translated his sister’s words to mean that she wanted to give him some of their supplies, something Sokka clearly wasn’t sure he approved of.

Katara must have had similar thoughts on Sokka’s expression, since she murmured, “It’s this or bring him with us, and you know what’s safer.”

Katara might not have minded that Danny could overhear her last words, but Sokka closed the distance between them, pulling his sister farther away from Danny before hissing, “It’s not the only option, and you know it. We can’t afford to give away any of our supplies, and just because Toph can make sure he’s not coming in with the intention of stabbing us in the back, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t blab to anyone once he figures out who we’re travelling with. You know as well as I do that that wouldn’t take very long.”

“He’s just kid.”

“Technically, like Aang keeps reminding us, we’re just kids. Who very much cannot afford to so much as drop him off in the next village. Show him the river and teach him how to catch and cook his meals? Fine. Picking him up as a stray when he’s not bringing anything to the table? Not fine.”

“He’s lost.”

“So? He’s not hurt. He’s already in a better position than some refugees. He’ll survive until he can walk to the nearest settlement. Then he can try to get help from people who can actually give it.”

Katara bit her lip and slowed to a stop. “There’s something else.”

“What?”

Danny very much wanted to know the answer to that—what had Katara figured out?—but he tried not to react so they didn’t know he’d been listening in. He deliberately turned away and stared around the trees instead, a mix of deciduous and evergreen. He couldn’t pick out any specific types of trees—nothing distinctive like oak leaves that he could see—and, as far as he could tell, the woods were utterly devoid of critters. He had no idea if that was because this world wasn’t real or if it was simply because all the animals in the region had had warning of their coming and hidden accordingly.

Danny knew his disinterest wouldn’t be very convincing, but if he was lucky, they’d think he’d given up on trying to eavesdrop.

“There’s something…off about him. Not necessarily something wrong, but something different. I can’t…. When he asked about water, I wanted to make sure he wasn’t hiding any on him or nearby in case it was a trap, and— He didn’t feel the same as you or me. I can’t explain it. Toph might have a better idea than I do. Or…or Aang.” The last word was a barely audible whisper.

“You think this might be a spirit thing?” Sokka’s response was closer to a suppressed shriek than anything else, and Danny winced.

“I think he might be spirit touched,” Katara answered, and Sokka’s sharp inhalation was painfully audible. “I wasn’t good enough back then to notice anything about Yue, but—”

“Fine.” Sokka’s voice had gone flat. “I don’t want to shun someone and accidentally anger the spirits. I’ll teach him to fish. You go back and interrupt advanced earthbending practice and pick a meeting place, but make sure everyone’s packed in case this doesn’t go the way you think it’ll go.”

“I know to be careful.”

“We all know to be careful. Some of us just need more reminding than others.”

Katara didn’t say anything else, but she must have nodded or done something similar because Danny heard Sokka stalk back over to him. “Katara’s going back to talk to the rest of our group about what we might be able to spare,” he said as Danny turned back to face him, “and I’ll show you how to fish in the meantime. If you don’t catch anything, I’ll give you one of mine.”

Danny wasn’t about to admit that he’d overheard their entire conversation, so he smiled and said, “That sounds great, thanks.” It didn’t stop the uneasiness from settling in his gut, though. Sure, now he knew these people believed in ghosts, and Sokka’s response made it clear he didn’t want to get on their bad side, but Danny had no idea what being spirit touched meant. He didn’t know if that was seen as a good thing or a bad thing.

More to the point, if it was a bad thing, he didn’t know if these people had something suitable with which to attack spirit touched people, since if they did, chances were good that it would work on him.

He was not lucky enough to get a free pass here.

Still, the odds were good that he’d be able to escape if they did attack since he’d know to be on watch for something, and he wasn’t about to turn down an offer of food. He had no idea when a portal would open and he’d be able to go home. Until then, the best he could do was survive.

He’d survived this much, and his life had hardly been a walk in the park since the accident, let alone before. He wasn’t about to let some ghost fling him into an unknown world and succeed in taking him down. He needed to get out of this to kick their butt and prove to them that they couldn’t get rid of him that easily.

Assuming this wasn’t all a series of genuine coincidences and not the result of the careful manipulation of events.

Danny didn’t want to think about that, though.

He had a much better chance of getting home if there was someone he could beat, and he was going to get home.

Somehow.

(see more fics)

[gashinabts]

peculiar taste| (m)

Words: 2.8k 

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, pwp

Summary: Unknowingly, you find out that your feet pics are roaming around twitter just to find out that your room mate runs the page. 

Warnings: FOOT STUFF, foot job ( idk if thats a thing), foot fetish

a/n:  There’s a lot of foot stuff so if that makes you uncomfortable then don’t read it. Btw if there’s other weird kinks/fetishes that you think a member would like just comment or message me. 

Twitter is a scary place, you never had it until your friend from work told you to download it because there’s funny memes. So when you downloaded it you were not surprised that there were weird foot pictures. See you were not one to shame someone who has weird fetishes but this was different. Oddly enough the picture had the same pedicure as you and the same tattoo on your ankle. Deciding to go on the page you notice there were pictures of your feet, the black heels you owned were there too. 

Is someone spying on you? There is a sudden noise from the kitchen and you jolt in fear, holding the phone close to you as you walk towards the noise. The fear disappears when you see your roommate slash friend Taehyung eating pickles from the jar. “ Hey, wanna go to the park? We can have a little picnic,” Taehyung munches the last part before putting it back in the fridge. “ What’s wrong?” He notices your worried face.

Shaking your head, not sure if you should tell him your worries. Taehyung would probably freak out more than you, he’ll probably call the FBI to install high tech cameras around the apartment. “ Nothing,” you smile. “ I’m down but I’m making the food. Last time you just packed onions and capri suns,” you move him aside to pull out bread to make sandwiches. 

He gives you his signature boxy smile, “ Sorry you don’t have an acquired taste,” he shrugs. 

---

When you guys get back from the park you immediately lay in your bed tired from all the running that Taehyung made you do. It was supposed to be a relaxing picnic, however Taehyung forced you to play tag with the children in the park. When you first met Taehyung you thought he was a quiet and stuck up person because of his emotionless face whenever he was sitting with people. But that all changed when you got to know him better, he was just a funny and weird person but in a good way. Needless to say you don’t ever want him to move out because he is just a fun person to have around.

The ping rings loudly on your phone, you get a message from your mom. You quickly text her back and then go on twitter to the foot fetish page to inspect it more. Maybe DM the person to see where they get these pics. Your eyes widen when you see a new picture that was uploaded a few minutes ago, your feet in your sandals that you just bought last week. Along with the picnic blanket that you use when you go to the park with Taehyung.

Jumping out of your bed you run to Taehyung’s room to demand answers from him, but he is currently playing Uno by himself. “ I’m trying to practice so I can win next time we play with Jungkook and Namjoon,” he places the green card down.

“ It’s Uno. The easiest game in the world, it was literally made for children,” you groan in frustration. Taehyung shrugs then goes back to his game and places the reverse card to the pile. “ That’s why I’m not here,” you shake your head. “ Why are my feet on a fetish page on twitter?”

His sharp eyes widen, you can’t tell if it’s due to shock or confusion. The brows are covered from his wavy black hair, lips parted in an ‘oh’ shape. “ Okay, don’t get mad. I have been posting you foot pics in exchange for money,” he puts his hands up when you throw his pillow at him. 

“ Taehyung! I can’t believe you,” you sigh. You became a renowned foot fetish star without any acknowledgment. What if people start to recognize you on the streets? Now you can never wear sandals.

“ I should’ve told you but I knew you were going to be against it,” Taehyung gets, ignoring the Uno cards and going up to you. His large hands come together holding them in front. “ If you want to take me to the police I understand. But make sure you feed the racoon that’s been secretly hiding in the garden shed,” he gives his puppy eyes. You can’t ever get mad at Taehyung, no matter what. It’s like he has this power that doesn’t make anyone upset.

Sighing, you gently push his hands down to his sides, “ I’m not turning you in,” you say. His remorse features immediately vanish, now becoming gleeful, as he engulfs you in a bear hug. If he’s getting paid you wonder how much he is making off of your feet. “ So how much money have you made so far?” The bed sinks as you sit down on it.

Taehyung's finger scratches his head, trying to remember how much the thirsty people on Twitter paid. “ Hmm, like a couple hundred. I’m saving the money so we can get a new tv.” 

The TV you guys had was found by Taehyung who was riding his bike around the neighborhood. An old man was giving it out and Taehyung called you excitedly asking you to bring your car so you can bring it back home. Upon your arrival you see an old blocky Sony tv that doesn’t even have an HDMI port. Taehyung convinced you that it was vintage and it would match the interior design of the apartment. “ Do people actually like that stuff ?” You ask while looking at your feet. What a weird thing to fetishize you think to yourself. 

Taehyung's hair floofs as he jumps back on the bed grabbing his phone that’s beside you. “ Yes. A lot of people,” he quickly unlocks his phone. “ Look, this man was willing to pay sixty dollars for you to have a foot massage,” you look at the DM. “ There’s also other requests. Like you wearing heels, stockings, and other weird things,” he shrugs putting his phone away.

People pay money for this, and you guys do need some money. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little extra cash for stuff. No one is ever gonna find out that it’s your feet. “ Let’s keep doing it,” you look at Taehyung, whose eyes widen at your words. 

“ Really?” Taehyung asked in a serious tone. Wanting to make sure that you actually want to do it not because of his stupid mistake.

“ Yeah, it would be nice to have extra cash,” you nod your head.

----

“ This feels really weird,” you flinch at the stickiness of the honey pouring on your feet. Taehyung makes a hand motion for you to keep pouring it as he films it on his phone. Your face is not in view so no one can see the weird faces you're making as the stickiness goes in between your toes. Just another weird request from a person. This guy is paying sixty dollars for this, so who cares that you are pouring honey on your feet.

Taehyung nods and gives the okay sign, ending the video. “ I feel bad that the bees are dying and we are wasting their precious honey on your feet,” he pouts before leaving to retrieve a wet towel. He tosses it to you so you can wipe the honey off before walking on the floor. 

The wet towel doesn’t help much so you decide to wash it. “ Yeah, we should visit the bee sanctuary to give our condolences,” you joke as you run to the bathtub to wash your feet with soap. 

“ That would be nice,” Taehyung smiles watching you wash your feet. He hears you laugh, “ Oh you were kidding,” he laughs along with you. The phone pings and he grabs it from his back pocket, looking at the DM’s. ***800 dollar request *** Taehyung reads loudly, eyes widening at the words. He reads the request to himself, heart beating fast because this is actually a sexual request. Also because this is the most someone is willing to spend on a video. For the past month it's only been under the hundreds that people spent on your feet.

Your voice startles him, “ What are they asking for you?” Turning off the faucet you give your undivided attention to him. 

Taehyung gulps then scratches the back of his neck, “ Uh- he wants you to use your feet to fondle someone’s dick,” he coughs at the end. There’s a silence that washes over you guys. “ Yeah,  I can just decline-”

“ Would I be fondling you?,” you ask. Taehyung tucks his phone back in his pocket then sits next to you. 

Taehyung puts his hand on your shoulder, his eyes are looking at you seriously. “ We don't have to do this.” 

 It’s 800 hundred dollars that you guys would be missing out on.“ I want to do it. Our faces won’t be showing, right?”  You really don’t mind just as long as Taehyung is comfortable doing it with you.

Taehyung exhales, nodding his head, “ Yeah no faces.” His heart beats faster as he looks at your feet.

***

“ Let me wash my feet one more time,” you go get up to use the bathroom one more time. Taehyung tugs you back down the bed. 

“ You already did it twice before you came to my room,” he lets out a chuckle. “ Don’t be nervous,” he sits on his chair. He grabs your foot gently placing it on his thigh. Large hands rubbing your ankle to calm you down. “ I’ll give you a foot massage and we’ll go from there,” he says softly. There’s a different mood between the two of you. It’s not like the usual playful mood that you guys have. It's heavier, if that makes sense.

Nodding your head, his big hands rub your feet. Rolling out any tension on the center of your foot, you sigh not used to this kind of attention in that area. His hands are like magic making all the stress on your foot disappear. At one point you close your eyes in relaxation feeling your body get lighter. Immediately your eyes open when you feel lips kissing your ankle, his soft lips leave a few more kisses as your eyes meet his dark eyes. Looking down you see a hard on “ Taehyung,” you whisper. He puts your foot back on his thigh, “ Should I start recording?,” you ask. Your hands shake, bringing his phone into your hands. 

Taehyung lets out a quiet hum, indicating for you to do so. You hold the phone tightly, pressing the record button. Last night you did some research looking at feet groping and you feel kind of confident. Hopefully, you don’t embarrass yourself or make Taehyung immediately walk out of the room. Your right foot teasingly goes up and down his thigh, looking carefully at Taehyung’s reaction. He lets out a groan when you get close to his bulge but goes to the other thigh doing the same action as before.

“ Baby please,” Taehyung's voice is hoarse. The pet name surprises you in a good way but you quickly remind yourself that he is only calling you that so your name won’t be exposed. His hand goes to your leg, running his fingers against your calf. Listening to his request you trail your foot to his bulge, lightly brushing the tip of your toes. He lets out a breathy exhale, looking down at your foot taunting him. 

You never thought you’d be into this, maybe it is the position. There’s some kind of power you hold as you get to dictate whether you should make him feel pleasure by the pressure of your foot. The way Taehyung’s breath quickens when you apply more pressure, his eyes giving you a sultry look. Your foot applies more pressure, toes spreading feeling the outline of his bulge. Doing slow circles, trying to feel more of him. His hand tightens on your leg, “ Fuck, right there,” Taehyung closes his eyes for a quick second. The hardness of his cock turns you on, you feel the thickness of it beneath your foot and you know he probably has a big cock. 

“ Does my foot feel good, baby?” You condescendly ask. His eyes look into yours surprise of your tone and question. His jaw clenching, looking hot and bothered, a new look that you want to store in your memory. “ Look at you getting turned on just by my foot,” you tsk in disappointment. Applying more pressure you arch your eyebrow still expecting an answer from him.

Taehyung hisses in pleasure, “ Yeah, your foot feels good,” he tosses his head when you rub your foot harder up and down his clothed cock. “ It feels to fucking good,” he whispers more to himself.

“ Take your cock for me baby,” you command him. Taehyung gives you a face of relief immediately taking his cock out of his pants and briefs. And you were right about his cock being thick and big. Now you just want to feel it in your hands and your mouth, actually everywhere. The precum is leaking, begging to be touched. The heel of your foot meets his hard cock, and he flinches but then immediately going back to your touch. “ Spit on it,” you look down, indicating Taehyung to spit on his cock.

He groans loud at your assertion, not used to this. Taehyung never sees this side of you, having a higher authority. You're usually compliant and listen to whatever he wants to do. He follows your words, spitting on his cock, as he watches your two feet come together cupping the thickness of his cock. Jerking him up and down.“ Shit shit,” he curses at himself for wanting to come right now.

“ It’s not even my pussy and you're already a moaning mess,” you chuckle to yourself. His eyes are downcast to the slow movement of your feet. The small breathy moans are getting louder, and you love the sound of it. 

If your feet are this good he can’t imagine what your pussy would feel like. He wants to desperately ask if he can fuck it later but he puts his thoughts away trying not to moan your name loudly. The movements get faster and he thinks this is the fastest time he has ever come. “ I’m going to come baby. Can I come please?”  He looks up at your face, and notices a dark gaze, and he wants to kiss the evil smirk off your face.

You wouldn’t be surprised if you creamed your pants right now at the sight of his begging and climaxing. “ Mmm, so soon?” You teasingly ask. Taehyung shamelessly nods, his hands clenching at nothing. “ Come all over my feet dirty boy,” your eyes watch carefully at his pretty bottom lip getting bitten by his teeth.

Before you know it Taehyung is tossing his head back, “ Fuck,” he lets out a loud drawl. His head Adam apple is bobbing and his pretty collar bones are getting more exposed. White spurts all over your feet and you keep fondling him until he holds your ankle in place. He finally looks down at the mess he made, surprised at how much he come.

You stop recording, placing the phone down the bed. There’s a towel next to you, you pull your feet towards you wiping the come off your feet. “ Can you kiss me?” Your head snaps to Taehyung’s question. His eyes don’t have the same lustful gaze but some hint of fondness. 

Nodding your head, you are about to kiss him until you realize that you ate sushi about an hour ago. Fearing that he probably can taste it from your mouth you pull back shaking your head. “ Let me brush my teeth real quick,” you try to walk to the bathroom. Until Taehyung laughs brightly pulling you back and pecking your lips softly.

The kiss makes you swoon and want to kiss him more but he pulls away too soon. “ Why did you want to kiss me?” You ask him not wanting to get your hopes high. But your heart is already beating hard because it’s Taehyung who kissed you.

“ I like you,” Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly. “ Why did you agree to kiss me?” He asks you while holding your hand.

“ I like you,” you do the same gesture as him. Taehyung smiles and leans towards your lips and you clothes your eyes expecting a kiss until you feel him push you back. Opening your eyes you see him pull his shirt over his head, and you're surprised to his slightly defined chest and v line. 

“ Even when I annoy you and cause nothing but trouble for you?” Taehyung looks down at you biting his bottom lip, a nervous tick he has.

You smile bringing his large hand down, pecking it lightly, “ That’s the best part though,” then pulling him down to kiss him. 

[five-rivers]

Cold Case 5

“You’re part of this conspiracy, too?” asked McGee, backing up a few steps. He wasn’t quite ready to confront the whole ‘speaking to a dead person’ thing. Not yet.

“Well. Yeah. As far as a conspiracy exists anyway. You are standing on my grave.” A wisp of mist peeled off the ghost, and the edges of his form flickered.

“Your…” He resisted the urge to glance at the gravestone. All the offerings made more sense if people thought their hero’s body was there.

… Everything about this situation was insane, wasn’t it? He was here, talking to a ghost he’d thought was fictional five minutes ago and standing on his grave. Not that he hadn’t thought all ghosts were fictional up until a couple of hours ago.

“Yep, it’s mine. Which is why I came down here. I can tell when someone is making weird promises to my dead body. It is a school night, you know?”

“People keep saying that. Why does it even matterthat it’s a school night?

“Because I like going to school, and contrary to popular opinion, ghosts do need rest. We sleep when we’re dead and all that.”

“Was that a pun?” demanded McGee, incredulous.

“More like a play on a common figure of speech or a literal metaphor, but, sure, call it a pun. Why are you so focused on my death, anyway?”

“You, I, what, this,” babbled McGee, trying to get a handle on his thoughts. “You’re a pre-teen who was buried in the woods. I’m not heartless.”

“Rude. I’m not a pre-teen. And I was sort of the one to do the burying, so…” The ghost tilted his head, frowning slightly. “You’re not having a heart attack, are you?”

“No,” said McGee.

“It’s just, you’re really holding onto your chest, there. I could fly you to—”

“I am not having a heart attack,” said McGee. “Stop changing the subject! You-! You’re-!” McGee sat down abruptly, careless of the condensation on the grass.

“You know, it’s normal to have an existential crisis when confronted with your own mortality.”

“I’ve already confronted my mortality! I’m a police detective for goodness’ sake!”

“Okay, okay. Jeez.”

“And you- Your death. You said I already knew how you’d died. What’s that supposed to mean?”

Phantom shrugged. “It’s listed as an accident. And it was. I asked them not to put down the details. I like my living family to have privacy.”

“And the whole conspiracy?”

“Be honest,” said Phantom. “It isn’t really all that much of a conspiracy. The town gets most of its revenue from tourism. We’re actually pretty public about it.”

“But that’s not real.”

“Some of it is.” The ghost rubbed the back of his head. “We kind of all know you were sent to spy on us,” he said. “So, you’re probably wondering how to spin this.”

McGee felt his eye twitch. “Collins and Patterson told you?”

“Not really. It’s just obvious. But, like, outside of the GIW, no one is going to believe you that the reason for Amity being so messed up is ghosts. And you’ve seen the GIW.”

“They chased glowsticks around a park,” said McGee, dully. The action made more sense now that he knew about ghosts, but still.

Phantom laughed, a twinkling sound. “Yep. That was a good one. Anyway, I don’t know what your bosses are like, but I guess your options here are to either quit, or, well, if you can’t beat ‘em…”

“Is this a recruitment pitch? Are you, a ghost, trying to give me a recruitment pitch to join your vaguely illegal conspiracy town full of corruption and unsolved murders?”

“First off, to get unsolved murders here you have to go way back. Like I said, my death was an accident. Secondly. Is it working?”

McGee put his head in his hands.

“Welp. It isn’t like you have to decide right away. Your timeline’s determined by whoever your bosses are. No one here hates you, though, if that makes it easier. Collins and Patterson wouldn’t have shown you the Neon District, otherwise. They’d have waited ‘til you ran into a daylight battle, tried to scare you off. That kind of thing.”

“This is them not trying to scare me off?” asked McGee, humorlessly.

“Yeah, I know, it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true.” Phantom paused. “Ah, that wasn’t exactly the thing to say to put you at ease, was it?”

“What,” said McGee, “is worse than this? What is worse than the dead coming back to like and those alien-looking green blobs coming through and the Fentons, oh my god, what is worse than what they were driving?”

“Oh, gee,” said Phantom, not meeting McGee’s questioning gaze. “Would you look at the time. I’ve got to go. School night and all.”

With that, the ghost disappeared.

Slowly, McGee dragged himself back to his car, turned it on, and just sat there, heater on full blast. This was… a lot to take in. A whole lot.

He rubbed his hand over his face.

Ghosts.

Real ghosts.

Who had opinions about investigations into their deaths.

Had he somehow been sucked into a demented supernatural buddy-cop drama? He was tempted to go searching for cameras.

He was tempted to invest himself fully into whatever this was, because didn’t everyone dream about being in a story like this? Being involved in something fantastic and meaningful? Being the hero of a story, no matter how short?

But this was really to much for someone his age. And he really had to come up with something to say to his bosses, because he really, really doubted that they’d accept him quitting to join the Amity Park Police Department as a non-spy.

He closed his eyes and let himself breathe. He didn’t have to decide how to handle this now. Maybe he’d take Collins and Patterson up on that day off. Think about it for a while.

But.

Ghosts.

Could he live with himself if he just left?

Ice glittered on the ground illuminated by his headlights, as if mocking him for his earlier ambitions about solving cold cases, for all the ignorant thoughts he’d had when first arriving. Could a case really be called cold when the victim was available to give an interview?

Well, yes, assaults went cold all the time, but, still…

Even if McGee didn’t know the details of his eventual decision, he knew, then, that even if he left, he’d never be able to forget Amity Park. It was too good of a mystery. And all other fantasies pushed aside, he’d become a detective to solve mysteries.

In short: he wasn’t leaving.

[herrlindemann]

Rammstein in Bravo - 7 May 1998

Witching hour at Babelsberg Castle in Potsdam! Pale moonlight illuminates the walls, bay windows and towers of the bizarre building. The branches of the oak trees squeak in the wind. In the park in front of the castle, six frames in white robes and pale corpse faces are standing in the headlights, waiting for their next assignment. Two of the men are holding snarling wolfhounds on a leash. "Welcome to Castle Dracula," laughs Rammstein singer Till Lindemann and rolls his green fluorescent eyes menacingly. “Today after we turn into bloodthirsty werewolves...”

In the morbid setting of the 18th-century rococo castle, the Berlin industrial rockers are shooting the video for their new single “Du riechst so gut”, which will be released mid-May. "Our most complex and unusual shoot to date," explains guitarist Richard. “We are in front of the camera for four nights. The clip shows horror at its finest!”

In the four and a half minute long werewolf drama, Till, Richard, Schneider, Paul, Flake and Olli pull out all the stops of film technology, transforming people into wolves in creepy scenes. The Rammstein heads were recreated for the animations. Plaster casts modeled from the real faces. In addition to countless extras, garishly dressed-up as guests, dancing to the hard Rammstein-beat minuet in the ballroom or as hunters with ancient muskets on a wolf hunt, a pack of wolves also plays in the clip. "These are Czech wolfhounds that have been back-crossed with real wolves," explains amateur biologist Flake. “These animals get used to people and can be trained. But the wolf instincts are still awake in them. But they accept humans as the pack leader.”

The Rammstein boys came up with the 50-page script for the clip themselves and included motifs from the folk tale "The Seven Ravens" as well as key scenes from classic horror films such as Polanski's "Tanz der Vampire" or "American Werewolf". ”The six of us play a demon that keeps taking on different forms” Paul explains the core of the story. “He sometimes appears as Till, sometimes as Flake, Paul, Richard, Olli or Schneider, when he hasn't just taken on the form of a wolf. His kiss brings death!”

The instrumental intro of the song features a pretty, dark-haired girl, played by the Berlin business student Maja, galloping through the forest on a steaming horse. The beauty loses a handkerchief with which she has just dabbed the sweat from her décolleté. She hasn't noticed the werewolf's green phosphorous eyes spying on her from the bushes. With a giant leap, the beast rushes loose, greedily pounces on the handkerchief and turns into Flake, who sucks in the girl's scent completely entranced, only to immediately become an animal again. He follows the trail to the castle, mingles with the guests in the guise of Schneider, finally breaking into the girl's bedroom as Till. The sight of the naked beauty on her bed turns the Rammstein singer into an animal again: baring his wolf's teeth, he lunges at the girl. His bite also turns you into a werewolf who thirsts for blood and searches for new victims in the ballroom. To the dismay of the guests, it is no longer the sweet girl in the red ball gown, but — with a diabolical grin — the muscular Richard. Then the climax: Richard's chest breaks open: seven slavering wolves jump out. But this time, doom awaits the predators. Through the windows, the hunters open fire on the beasts until they collapse, fatally wounded. In agony, they assume human form again. Till and the beauty meet. They sink into each other's arms for a long, passionate kiss. “For me, the kiss was the real horror of the shoot, even though Maja was a totally sweet partner,” Till laughs with relief at the end of the day at dawn. "Because I'm actually really shy. I trembled more before that scene than when I had my first kiss when I was 13."