#Spirit's appendicitis fic is coming soon. I'mma have to make it funny and sweet to balance out all the angst I've done lately😅

[wordsmithwhumpsandfluff]

So here’s a story fic I wrote a while back. The appendicitis fic is taking me longer to write than I thought, so I’ll post this for now.

For some context, this fic takes place back when the group was in High School in their Sophomore year. It gives a general idea of how difficult Spirit’s life was before college, and is super angsty. Be warned.

!TW! vaping/substances, violence, depression, child neglect, harassment.

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Spirit’s head hurt, her neck ached, and she felt so dizzy. Blinking awake, she realized she fell asleep sitting up in her dining room. She curled her nose in disgust as she saw a cockroach feasting on her half-finished muffin she was eating late last night. Too tired to kill the thing, she just left it, getting up to find her phone.

Blackout curtains were a blessing, usually. But today, when Spirit found her phone and saw the time, her stomach dropped and she cursed the curtains for keeping her from waking up at a decent time. It was 8:36. She was more than half-an-hour late for school.

With no time to shower or brush her teeth, Spirit just popped some minty gum in her mouth, slipped on some sneakers, grabbed her bag and ran out the door with her skateboard under her arm and her phone in her pocket. She was glad she slept in her clothes from yesterday, so she didn’t have to change, but she did throw on a black hoodie. As she skated to school, she used her fingers to pull her hair back into a ponytail.

It took about twenty minutes for Spirit to get to school. She got a pass from the office—earning a glare from the old lady at the desk who definitely didn’t like her—and ran to her Advanced World History class that she was late for. Being a delinquent and often-late student didn’t keep her out of the school’s more advanced classes.

She barged in, breathing hard and probably looking just as bad as she felt.

Mr. Robinson, her teacher, gave her a knowing look. A look that was sympathetic and understanding. “Hello, Mitchel,” he said, calling Spirit by her last name as he did with all his students. “Please, take your seat. I’ll catch you up on what we’re doing in a minute.”

Spirit nodded, staring at the floor as she made her way to her desk by the window. She could feel the eyes and hear the snickers as she sat.

When that class was over, Spirit left before Mr. Robinson could stop her on her way out the door to talk. She hurried to her next class, keeping her head down and her hood up to avoid being noticed. The last thing she needed was—

“Heeey, hot stuff.”

Spirit flinched as a familiar arm was hooked over her shoulders and the sweet smell of vape smoke filled her senses. She looked over to Zeke, whose face was so close to hers. She wanted to shove him off, feeling disgusted by his touch, but refrained from doing so since it’d just make her seem weak to him.

She’d rather seem calm and nonchalant and easy than weak.

“Hey,” she said, turning her face away.

“You weren’t in first period,” she heard Jeremy say, and she figured that he—along with the rest of Zeke’s buds—were behind her. “Slept in again?”

Spirit nodded.

Zeke smirked. “You seem tense, baby.” He kept one hand on Spirit’s shoulder with his arm around her, using his free hand to slip something in her pocket. When she raised a brow at him, he winked and said, “For later, if you need it.”

Spirit knew what it was. She knew she’d throw out the baggie of weed, but she’d probably chug that flask when she got home later that day. Zeke didn’t have terrible taste in tequila, after all.

“I’ve gotta go to class,” Spirit told Zeke. She scanned the hallways desperately, and when she caught sight of Jordan and Amberlynn walking together, she felt relief course through her. “Catch ya later,” she said, shrugging off Zeke and walking away, but not before he slapped her ass as she walked away. She wanted to turn around and punch him, but kept from doing so. There’d be time to punch out her frustrations later.

She easily put on a neutral look and made her way to her friends.

— — —

“You were gone this morning,” Oliver said, sitting by Spirit at lunch.

Birdie, confused, looked at her. “You were?” Birdie shared some afternoon classes with Spirit, but not morning ones.

Acting casual, Spirit nodded and nibbled at the distasteful soggy sweet potato fries that the school insisted on feeding the students. These lunches were often the only thing Spirit ate on most school days, and they were disgusting, but she ate them anyway.

“I slept in,” she explained with a shrug, looking up at Oliver. “No biggie.” Over Oliver’s shoulder, she caught sight of Zeke looking at her with a grin that made her skin crawl, and she looked down again. That was always the safest thing to do. Look down.

— — —

The ringing of the bell all but gave Spirit a heart attack as it startled her out of her focus. She’d been sucked into the worksheet and realized that everyone was leaving whilst she hadn’t even packed up yet.

She cursed and hastily started stuffing her bag, trying not to rip or fold her papers.

“Jeez,” Isaac chuckled, leaning against a desk and waiting for her, ready to leave. “You’re kinda a mess today.” He lowered his voice slightly, smiling softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m great,” Spirit said, tossing her bag over her shoulder and standing up so quickly that she tripped over the leg of her desk. She hit the ground hard, landing on her elbows with a grunt.

Isaac crouched down beside her, helping her up. “You sure about that?” he asked, sounding a bit more worried. “You can talk to me, y’know.”

Spirit just smirked at him. “You know what? You should study to become a therapist.”

Isaac’s worried expression and tone vanished at that comment and he laughed. “Yeah right. I think being a therapist for all our friends is difficult enough.”

Isaac and Spirit met with Keiko and Jordan in the hallways since all four of them had gym together for last period.

In the locker rooms, Spirit heard the whispers as she got changed. Jordan tapped her shoulder, dropping her voice to a whisper as she asked, “Spirit, has your mom sent the extra money you asked her for? You’re basically skin and bone.”

Spirit smiled slightly to ease her friend’s worry. “I’m doing fine, Jordan. With or without my mom’s money.”

Jordan didn’t seem reassured but could tell Spirit didn’t wanna talk. “Well, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? My mom is making sushi.”

Spirit shook her head, finishing up with getting dressed. “I’m fine, Jor. But thanks.”

When the actual class started, Spirit felt like a drone as she went through the warmups. She barely broke a sweat as they ran laps around the gym, and felt in her element. Gym was what she did best. . . but the class had one major negative.

“Hey, hot stuff,” Zeke said flirtatiously, coming up to her as she filled up her bottle at the fountain. “You looked good when running. Your ass just seems bouncier every day.” He snaked a hand to her back and slowly lowered it down and down, making Spirit freeze and making her fight back the urge to kick his manhood.

“Please, go away, Zeke,” she breathed out, barely more than a whisper.

He raised a brow, leaning close enough that his breath tickled her cheek. He pinched her ass. “What was that, baby?”

She tried to take a step away from him, but he pulled her to the side so that the bleachers hid them from the rest of the gym, and he wrapped both his arms around her waist, leaning in to kiss her but only getting the corner of her mouth since she turned her head away. “Zeke, stop it,” she said, her voice a little harder.

He scoffed, letting go of her and shoving her against the wall hard enough to leave her breathless for a second.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, walking away.

Spirit sighed, picking up her bottle which had fallen to the floor and left a puddle. She re-filled it, and went back to acting like she was fine. At least she didn’t smile too much regularly. It was easy to look fine when you didn’t have to fake being happy.

— — —

Spirit came home to find the word ‘slut’ spray-painted on her door in bright red. Thankfully, the paint was fresh enough that she just had to spray it with her hose to get it off.

Inside, she kicked off her shoes and threw her backpack to the ground. She locked the door and put the chain on, not wanting to deal with anyone for the rest of the day.

There was going to be some fights that night at an abandoned worksite, and she could make some extra cash there, but she’d have to get some sleep first to recharge.

As she made her way to her bedroom, her phone started ringing. Upon glancing at the name, she answered. “Hey, Bird.”

“Hi! Just checking in.” Her voice was an octave higher than normal. Spirit raised a suspicious brow.

“Um. . . okay?”

“You doing okay?”

Spirit wanted to hang up. She was tired of lying. Especially to her best friend. “Yeah, I’m fine. You?”

Silence. Then, “Wanna sleep over tonight? It’s the weekend, after all.”

Spirit did want to. Truthfully, she’d much rather be with Birdie than at some fight.

But would it be worth it? Missing out on a chance to make a few hundred bucks?

“Please, Spirit? We haven’t had a sleepover in so long!”

After a minute of thinking so hard that her head started to hurt, Spirit sighed.

“I’m sorry, Bird. Not tonight.” She hung up without waiting for an answer. Tears began to fall, and sobs started to shake her frame.

She went for her pocket, grabbing the flask Zeke gave her, but also realizing that she hadn’t gotten rid of the weed.

She almost considered taking that, too, but she controlled her mind enough to trash it. But she did chug the whole flask, having to take breaks when the burning liquid made her cough. She drank the whole thing, and it wasn’t exactly a small flask, and then dropped it on the floor when she was done. She sat on the couch to wait for the alcohol to do its magic.

— — —

Spirit shot awake at the sound of knocking.

She stumbled as she stood from the couch, forgetting for a second that the tequila was still in her system, making her lightheaded.

She unlocked the door, keeping the chain on as she opened it and peeked out, expecting Zeke or a neighbor. Instead, it was all of her friends.

Her eyes widened. “What’re you guys doing here?”

Birdie, who was standing in front of them all, said, “I was worried about you. We all are.”

Spirit frowned. “I told all of you, I’m fine. Okay? I’ll see you guys—”

“Let us in, Spirit,” Keiko said, putting a hand on the door. “Please. We just wanna talk.”

Spirit stared at all her friends, not wanting to deal with this.

“Please, Spirit?” Amberlynn asked. “Let us in?”

It was a losing game. Spirit was stubborn, but so were her friends at the moment. She took off the chain and opened the door, letting them come in. She walked dizzily to her couch again, sitting.

“You okay?” Jordan asked. “Are you sick?”

“No. Why?”

“You were walking kind of weird.”

Spirit shrugged. It’s late, she thought. I should get them out of here quickly so I can make it to the fights.

“I don’t get what you guys are so worried about,” Spirit shrugged, looking at her friends who were all standing awkwardly. “I’m fine. And, frankly, really tired. I was sleeping just now.”

Birdie was the first to walk over to Spirit. She sat beside her, grabbing Spirit’s hand. The simple touch made Spirit’s heart squeeze. Her throat felt twisted, and her eyes burned as she tried to look normal.

“Can you all please leave?” she asked quietly, pulling her hand away from Birdie, making her insides twist with pain. “I’m really tired. I promise, I’m perfectly fine.”

“What’s this?”

Spirit looked up and realized that Keiko wasn’t standing with the others. She looked behind her, and her face went pale.

Keiko was holding the empty flask. He frowned, brows creasing. “Did you drink this? What was in here?”

Spirit looked at the rest of her friends, who were all staring at her.

She wanted to disappear.

She wanted to be alone.

Head down, head down, head down. . .

“Yes,” she forced out. “It was tequila. Zeke gave it to me. But I’m just tipsy, not drunk.”

She didn’t bother seeing the looks on her friends’ faces.

“Spirit—” Keiko started, but Spirit cut him off.

“Go away, all of you. I’m fine, okay? Just leave, please.”

She heard footsteps, and then felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Don’t push us away, Spirit,” Oliver said softly. “We’re here for you. Just talk to us. Something’s wrong, and we can all tell.”

Spirit still didn’t look at any of them, closing her eyes and praying for them all to just leave.

More footsteps. Spirit felt suffocated as she felt all her friends get closer and closer. . .

“GET THE HELL OUT!” Spirit stood as she yelled, emotions overtaking her at that moment. She yelled so loud that all of her friends startled, staring at her with wide eyes.

Spirit flinched, her frustration quickly turning into regret.

“Oh my God, I’m sorry,” she apologized, covering her mouth with her hand, trembling. The tears she was fighting back began to fall. “I’m sorry. Ohmygod, sorry.”

She tensed and froze as she felt arms wrap around her from behind. Birdie had also stood, and she was now hugging Spirit tightly.

Spirit felt herself break in that moment. In an instant, it all felt like too much to hide any longer. She was not fine. Sobs made her shake as she fell onto the couch again. Birdie didn’t let go. And Spirit felt another set of arms hug her.

“It’s okay,” Oliver whispered.

A hand smoothed her hair back, and Spirit knew it was Keiko.

She sobbed, unable to hide or hold anything back. She was overflowing with devastation.

The rest of her friends all joined in, hugging her, rubbing her back, smoothing hair away from her face. . . she didn’t feel like she deserved it. She didn’t deserve them.

Between sobs, she said as much.

Birdie took Spirit’s face in her hands. “Listen to me,” she said, her own voice tearful since she was crying as well at this point. “Don’t start with that. If there’s anything you don’t deserve, it’s feeling like this. Like Oliver said, we’re here for you. Always.” Birdie touched her forehead to Spirit’s. “You’ll get through this. We’ll help.”

“You’re stuck with us at this point,” Isaac teased, also sounding tearful, crouching in front of Spirit and grabbing her hand.

“Please,” Amberlynn said, standing by the couch. “Please talk with us. We just want to help.”

Spirit looked up at all her friends. They were the closest thing to family that she had. She loved them all.

So, she didn’t keep her head down. She breathed deeply, nodded, and finally admitted, “I’m not fine.”