#Speaking as someone who LOVES NV... This is the one big thing I hate about it... It's fanbase

[molinaesque]

Okay bit of a rant... But I feel like people who "ghoulkeep" (yes there are some people who legit do this lmao) are so ridiculous because they either a) just spitefully don't watch the show b) just don't pay attention c) are the most boring, no fun having mfs or d) all of the above

On the topic of Cooper "not looking like a ghoul enough", have you considered that he didn't become a ghoul/decay at the same rate or manner as the ghouls you're used to.

Besides being mutilated by someone else, he also might've been introduced to ghoulification at a more "controlled" way (kinda like John Hancock) thus making him less "juicy". I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case because (on top of just details in general), they've done a cool thing where they showcased all kinds of imagery of ghouls in the show, enforcing the idea that not every ghoul reacted to the radiation the exact same way.

Anyway, my point is it's one thing to be like "haha Cooper is the less extreme case of ghouls to be thirsting over", but to straight be like "NO you guys are FAKE ghoul lovers" 🙄 Like what are we doing, y'all.

Edit: also yes I do know they went into huge consideration into making him more attractive (the creative team and Walton have confirmed this), but it doesn't negate my points (also they wanted it to be easier for Walton to just act/exist with all that stuff on him for hours on end). Even if they're not the case, WHO CARES. More ghoul havers, the better! ALSO ALSO we have the other ghoul characters who exist for a reason! Having one does not immediately erase the other. WE CAN HAVE IT ALL!! FOOD FOR EVERYONE!!!

[transfagged]

all 92 😘

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no way man she’d probably dom the fuck out of me

2. You talked to an ex today, correct?nope.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?n o p e

4. Is trust a big issue for you?YEAH

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?like in terms of romantic??? no. like in terms of “we have a really weird relationship and idfk how i feel @ you”? yeah.

6. What are you excited for?april 19th!!! my friend and i are going to go see phoebe bridgers in madison!!!!

7. What happened tonight?its 10am so ill roll with last night: i played nv and got killed in a beautiful cacophony of deathclaws and the legion :) and then my game crashed.

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?no bc id be right there with them

9. Is confidence cute?very

10. What is the last beverage you had?i think some water? okay not the last but: hot water is so good with wildflower honey pls just drink some its good for your soul okay???

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?opposite is bullshit but i guess like,, 3? half my friends are nonbinary so counting EVERYONE regardless of gender and shit id say 6 people

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?im a proud supporter of boys in skinny jeans and i own 2 or 3 pairs

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?my main ho @thebonerfoy is coming up to visit me and were probably gonna pack all my shit in her car and play cards against humanity

14. What are you going to spend money on next? lmao probably my student loans. unless i can get the hours i asked for at work or a sugar daddy, then im gonna buy a proper lid for my fishtank bc my poor kid has a piece of cardboard rn.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?yeah. even in a state of stagnation were changing somehow.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?probably amanda, but im working on trying to be better with everyone

18. The last time you felt broken?my dude, im broken right now. its okay though. like i said, im working on it. were all fckn broken somehow.

19. Have you had sex today?not unless a ghost and i got in on in my sleep. which would be pretty cool ngl

20. Are you starting to realize anything?on a deep level: i deserve respect and a lot of my issues relate directly to my upbringing, including my inability to receive praise or speak well of myselfon a not-deep level: kinda hungry.

21. Are you in a good mood?i think i just heard fedex or ups outside so my mood just skyrocketed

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?maybe like. nurse sharks. theyre really cute.

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah

24. What do you want right this second?to take a day to go into the city with all my friends that i cant see on a regular basis

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?probably be upset unless we discussed it beforehand. then id be fckn cheering for them like you go get some!!!! do it man!!!! in general tho: if i wasnt with them and they didnt show interest in me and showed interest in someone else id just move tf on.

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?half of it is bc my roots are growing out

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. too boring.

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?okay so i went to renew my library books and one of my favorite youtubers is on the library website dressed as one of his characters and i completely flipped because i watch his gaming channel and now hes interviewing authors for my library??? he doesnt even live in my town!! hes in madison!!

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?no? im enjoying my solitude atm

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?depends on the person

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?no! hes my friend and gives really good advice!

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?i think so. i mean, were kind of a thing.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?yeah.

34. Listening to?killer - phoebe bridgers

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?only if im doing a rough journal spread, which i dont normally do

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?hes probably in class right now. 

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?love at first sight? no. some sort of mutual infatuation/attraction? yes.

38. Who did you last call?my mom

39. Who was the last person you danced with?dancing with as in both dancing at the same time? probably amanda or my mom.

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?we were dating and he was cute lmao

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a couple months ago? 

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?no bc she leaves for work before i wake up

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?constantly.

44. Do you tan in the nude?lmao no.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?no. as previously stated, i liked the guy and he was cute. why would i take that back?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?yeah

47. Who was the last person to call you?my mom

48. Do you sing in the shower?sometimes

49. Do you dance in the car?yEAH

50. Ever used a bow and arrow?yes i love my bow :’) its so good and wow i love archery

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?picture day junior year of highschool, and if that doesnt count: my mother took me in at jcp to have pictures taken when i graduated 8th grade and theyre awful bc my hair is so long and its so not me

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?excuse me, how dare you,, in this house we ask for war and peace for christmas because npgc1812 is so good and then get addicted to ghost quartet (@ anyone reading this: pls listen to ghost quartet it is so so so good)

53. Is Christmas stressful?depends on the year, but i hope in the future i can spend it with my friends :)

54. Ever eat a pierogi?i just had some last night for dinner and im probably going to eat the leftovers in a couple minutes. also, my mother is polish and we see her family for holidays, so yeah. lots of pierogi in this house.

update: i got the leftovers

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?idk??? apple? im basic okay i dont eat pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?1. teacher2. ballerina3. both 1 & 2, simultaneously4. paleontologist5. archaeologist6. both 4 & 5, simultaneously7. librarian8. game designer9. author/illustrator

57. Do you believe in ghosts?yeah

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?almost daily

59. Take a vitamin daily?im supposed to ;) vitamin d deficiency like a real champ

60. Wear slippers?real talk i never liked slippers but then i bought these cute pig slippers @ walmart for $10 and i love them so much i tried wearing them to sleep last night. also im wearing them rn theyre so cute

61. Wear a bath robe?i live in a dorm, so yeah. to the bathroom and back when i take a shower. sometimes im lazy and i just run around in a towel but so do half the people on my side of the hall lmao were all lazy and dead inside

62. What do you wear to bed?fluffy pajama pants or sweats, tshirt or hoodie, socks, sometimes slippers.. once i fell asleep with a beanie on. when im being an Adult i wear my actual pajamas!!! like a legit shirt and pants that match

63. First concert?none that i was old enough to remember :’) apparently my mom took me to the rodeo when we lived in texas and saw some country group but i was like 2 so idfk

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?TARGET I AM A CERTIFIED TARGET GAY

65. Nike or Adidas?adidas bc my feet are too wide to fit in nikes

66. Cheetos Or Fritos?yall real talk i used to love cheetos but i think im allergic to them now? last time i had them my throat got all swollen and hurt for like 3 days so im gonna have to say fritos. plus theyre really good if you put them in chili

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds bc im a slut for anything i can have a spitting contest with

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?lmao i used to like her when i was like. 11. not my scene anymore

69. Ever take dance lessons?i dont think so?

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?anything that makes them happy, but also something fun!!!! like wedding photographer or a baker or maybe zookeeper?

71. Can you curl your tongue?idk??? kinda????? i can tie a cherry stem so i want to say yes.

72. Ever won a spelling bee?no i always got out bc my anxiety made me stutter/rush and miss letters, so i never even got past the classroom levels to the real thing

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?a lot!!! i laugh so hard i cry and get a stomach ache more than id like to admit

74. What is your favorite book?eleanor & park by rainbow rowell :) OR alice’s adventures in wonderland by lewis caroll

75. Do you study better with or without music?depends on if i can get into hyperfocus mode or not. if not, then i pick one song and put it on loop and blast it until it fades and is just loud background noise, but if i can focus then silence is best

76. Regularly burn incense?i used to but no burning anything in the dorms :( then i came home for break and it started giving me a headache

77. Ever been in love?i think so

78. Who would you like to see in concert?kesha, against me!, my chemical romance (rip), bigbang (also rip)

79. What was the last concert you saw?the one i mentioned earlier @ a rodeo

80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot tea

81. Tea or coffee?i live on coffee but i love tea too so both

82. Favorite type of cookie?mmm snickerdoodle. or just sugar cookies. chocolate chip is good when theyre hot and melty but not as good when theyre cold

83. Can you swim well?yeah! i love swimming!

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?yeah?

85. Are you patient?hahahahahahhahahahhahahhaa

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?oo. oooooo. okay so dj would have more variety of music but im a sucker for live music??? idk i feel like a band would be more memorable, but what if they fuck up your favorite song??? but what if they make it more special???????

87. Ever won a contest?yeah! i won an art contest once and got my drawing printed on christmas cards for a nonprofit that did things for cancer patients!

88. Ever have plastic surgery?im 17 i dont have that kind of money

89. Which are better black or green olives?depends on what theyre in?

90. Opinions on sex before marriage?good. live your life fuck the rules

91. Best room for a fireplace?bedroom!!! i love fireplaces in bedrooms its such a Look

92. Do you want to get married?idk. if it happens then it happens. im not planning on it though.

[weeklyhumorist]

If the National Parks Responded to Real One-Star Reviews

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Diane F. from Mesa, AZ; review of Glacier: Worse trip I had. Yellowstone is so much better. This is just a lot of burnt areas and mountains. Very long uneventful day. Would really consider telling someone else to go spend 30. 

  Dear Diane: Thanks for your review and breathtaking typos. Those burnt out areas are because YOU HUMAN MOTHER FUCKERS LIKE TO SET SHIT ON FIRE. We don’t want to be bald like your husband, Al. We want to be lush like the earth was before you humans overpopulated it.

  P.S. We told Yellowstone what you said about us and they said you’re no longer welcome there. The next time you pull up to their gate, there’ll be a big sign that reads: “DIANE F. FROM MESA HATES MOUNTAINS AND IS CHEAP.” Yellowstone said they’ll have a pasta pass from Olive Garden waiting for you in exchange for never stepping foot in a national park again. 

  Alexa R. from Buffalo, NY; review of Badlands: I didn’t see what the big deal was. We drove a million years to see some semi impressive rock formations? And there were RATTLESNAKES everywhere? Dumb. You lose cell service because you’re in Nowhere USA. The only thing bad about these lands is entire experience. Waste of time. Thank god I was drunk in the backseat for the majority of the trip. 

  Dear Alexa: Thanks for noticing the large amount of rattlesnakes on our land. We purposely rounded up every rattlesnake we could find and released them in the Badlands to scare off visitors—particularly ones from Buffalo. We’ve found that people from NY become confused and frightened when west of the Mississippi River and we do our best to eliminate these weak humans from the planet. Sadly, it looks like you survived. Dumb.   

  Penny M. from San Francisco, CA; review of Yosemite: Absolutely LOVE Yosemite …BUT a new policy has just been put in place, if you don’t have your ID with you, even if you’re a grandparent, you will not be served a glass of wine, no exceptions!!! This is beyond ridiculous and incredibly awkward, if we all complain, policies can be changed. 

  Dear Penny: We’re sorry you weren’t able to get wasted around your grandkids at our park. We know how disappointing it is to be sober while traveling with 6 little shitheads who are pissed off their cell phones don’t work even though they’re standing next to a natural wonder. Believe us—if we were human and not public land for people to enjoy—we would get wasted because of your grandkids too.  

  Jorbi P. from Somerville, MA; review of Grand Canyon: Whoopity do, Grand Canyon. You are a giant hole in the ground. You don’t have roller coasters or dippin’ dots. Jeeesh. Can you say “overrated?”

  Dear Jorbi: Thanks for your review. If our 1,900-mile canyon is not adventurous enough for you, please, let us dangle your snively ass over the South Rim while you piss your pants and yell out for your mama. (Speaking of your mom, she called us and told us you’re a giant hole too.) BTW–Dippin’ Dots are for children who enjoy eating packing peanuts.

  Mike J. from Lexington, KY; review of Great Smoky Mountains: Don’t waste your time spending money to go to any place around or in these mountains between May and August. It rains and he severe thunderstorms everyday and almost all of the day. At least at a beach it rains for 20 minutes and stops. This place is beautiful, but not a great trip due to crappy weather that plagues the area. Won’t be back ever again.

  Dear Mike: We appreciate the review and will take into consideration THAT WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE FUCKING WEATHER. Hey, why can’t any of you spell or use proper grammar? We are land—physical land with zero education or even a brain—and we can write better than you humans. Enjoy being basic at the beach with your basic family and basic 2,000-calorie frozen margaritas and diarrhea seafood buffets.

Kahil G. form Bethesda, MD; review of Yellowstone: The problem with Yellowstone is that it’s dull. Yellowstone is on a caldera. A caldera is a volcano that blew up and left a crater. The dirt from this is of poor quality. The only tree that grows is this ugly thing called a lone pine. No flowers to speak of grow here. The last thing is once you see water come out of the ground once your good. 

  Dear Kahil: We’re sorry our 2 million-year-old land is not exciting. You know we can explode at any time and wipe out the majority of America, right? Also, we have over 55 flowers and seven trees, and none of them are called a lone pine, dude. Where the hell did you even get that from? We’re starting to think you’re making shit up. Geysers that shoot water 100 feet in the air don’t impress you, Kahil? What does impress you? And don’t tell us Starbucks and hotel rooms with TVs because we’ve heard that shit before. If we had a fucking dime for every time a human said they missed their Starbucks and TVs, we wouldn’t have to ask you fuckers for $30 at the gate because your RVs and cigarettes and 10 children named Madison and Chad destroy our land. 

  Steve D. from Las Vegas, NV; review of Zion: Been here 3 times and it’s the last. What a joke. I had to pull over 3 times on my bike to let the Californians get to work on time. What’s the hurry? To get to the next crowded view point? Can’t get to the Red lodge to get ice cream unless you have a red sticker or ride the trolley. WAY over rated. My guess is the people that love this place never get out much. 

  Dear Steve: We’re sorry you won’t be visiting us anymore. Just kidding. We don’t give a shit. Can we ask you something? Why is that none of you can construct a goddamn sentence? And why is that you all love ice cream so much? And what Californians are you referring to? There are no Californians commuting to work through Zion National Park in Utah, Steve. Funny thing: The people who enjoy our park DO get out. They’re hiking and talking with fellow travelers and not bitching about imaginary Californians or lack of access to ice cream. If you’re looking for less crowds and more ice cream, check out the Dairy Queen off rt. 9.

    If the National Parks Responded to Real One-Star Reviews was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[annittavalence]

Fallout OC Interview

Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same.

If you want to do this! this is your sign!

What is your name?

Annitta Valence shortened to V or Vee.

How old are you?

34

What do you look like?

Human, Caucasian/Italian, slightly mutated. Hair, shaved on the sides, long on the top with a mowhawk, often worn down (not styled). Eyes are crazy, green, orange glow, due to mutation. Scars and markings facial Vitiligo around her left eye, scars on her right temple and under eye, above lip on the left. Neck tattoo that comes up onto her chin. Heavy facial piercings. Medium, sunkissed skin tone.

Where are you from? Where do you live now?

My family was from Italy, a small village Stilo, Calabria but they moved to America before I was born, eventually they ended up in Boston since my Father settled into a job at Corvega and my mother raised me at home. I ended up buying a house with Nate in Sanctuary hills once we married and I was pregnant with Shaun. Now though? I prefer to spend my free time in Goodneighbor, Hancock organised an apartment for me in one of the buildings, it’s quite nice.

What was your childhood like?

It was..like most I suppose? rough at times but we had what we needed and we did alright. I didn’t enjoy school and I’m not very academic, so I pushed and begged and nagged until  my Father let me learn from him. I became a Mechanic since I found I had the mind for it. I persuaded the place my Father worked at to let me do some volunteer work around their workshop. I guess I did well because they offered me a solid job after just under a year. Never seen my Father so proud of me, it’s a memory I cherish.

What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

The Railroad, The Minutemen and Goodneighbor.

Tell me about your best friend.

Hancock is my closest friend, if it weren’t for him..I’d probably be dead. I would do anything for him, without question. I made a lot of deep friendships in The Railroad and that’s all I’ll say about them. Sturges is an absolute delight and is the first person I bonded with, about mechanics and tinkering of course! Many nights were spent sitting around Sanctuary exchanging knowledge, I always stop by with him whenever I stay in Sanctuary. And of course, MacCready, much more than a lover, so much more.

Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

Well, there’s Shaun of course, even if I don’t know whether he’s alive.. there was Nate..my parents..Family in Italy.. My parents, I’m sure died when the bombs dropped, I’ve not found them at least.. and my family in Italy? I have no idea, I have no way of contacting them.

But really, I have my new family, here in the Commonwealth. So many of them, MacCready and hopefully Duncan, Nick, Piper, Nat, Ellie, Hancock, Daisy, Irma, Ham, The Railroad, The minutemen, Preston, Sturges, The Longs, Mama, Cait, Longfellow, Gage, Danse..gosh..

What about a partner or partners?

MacCready, my sweet soul. We are quite open and polyamorous, so often Hancock, Deacon, sometimes Cait, Ham, Gage and Mags.

Who are your enemies, and why?

The Institute..they probably have Shaun and god knows what they’re doing to him! They ruin lives, orphaning children and taking spouses, sometimes replacing them with a replica to feed back information for whatever reason. They are constantly shitting on the underdog and I can’t stand it.

The Gunners, I hadn’t even heard of them until I overheard them yelling at Mac in The Third Rail. Didn’t even know Mac back then, let alone thought we would be where we are today..but..the way they spoke to him, the things they said..it just got my back up and that was enough for me to hate them. Then I ended up hiring Mac, getting to know him, he told me more about them, we had several run ins with them until eventually, we formulated a plan to take down Winlock and Barnes, driving them back. No one fucks with anyone I care about.

The Disciples, a raider gang in Nuka world. NOTHING I did or said would convince them to live in peace with the traders and settlers of Nuka world. I gave them their own section, I fixed up the fucking park but no, they were just too far gone, cannibals and psychopaths. I managed to save a couple of them, who were just going along with them so they didn’t die, but eventually we had to wipe them out. It took MONTHS to clean their base up, burn all the bodies of the people they’d killed, and theirs of course. Now it looks quite nice and we’ve turned it into a big housing hub for the traders. The pack and The Operators are actually doing really well together, Mason and Mags agreed to weeding out the more barbaric of the members, the ones who didn’t want to live in relative peace. Now they have a couple settlements each in the commonwealth where they’ve actually been hunting game and running jobs for my other settlements, they get a cut of the caps and loot and we always call on them for big jobs like institute attacks and mutant takeovers etc. 

Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

I despise the way they speak to Hancock and Nick and when they’re in my presence, they tend to hold their tongue but I have smacked a few of them for their comments. Maxson is...a problem, he’s way too extreme but I do feel like there’s a reasonable and genuine person under that mantle, which honestly must be quite heavy. A lot of the members I’ve met are actually really pleasant and helpful, Knight Rhys is an asshole but there’s always one. 

From what Mac tells me, the Brotherhood inhabiting the Capitol Wastes are a bit crazy, but they DID do a lot for the wasteland, clean water was returned, which sounds amazing. I’ve been to DC a few times, pre war of course but I’d like to see it now..as morbid as that sounds, plus Duncan is there and I can’t wait to meet that tiny man!

Some people have told me stories about outcasts from the Brotherhood who were truly insane, just killing indiscriminately and stealing from settlers...which kinda sounds like the ones here....a little.. and then I met a trader from the Mojave and they told me about the presence there...the less said about that one the better.

I like Danse though! 

What about The Enclave?

I’ve only heard stories, Mac has experienced them first hand and he doesn’t really talk about them too much. Everything I’ve heard has been bad though.

How do you feel about Super Mutants?

Strongs cool, funniest one I’ve ever met but LORD he never shuts up! I built him his own place, got him a couple of dogs and taught him how to farm. He’s doing alright, travels around with his dogs and visits the settlements....much to the settlers dismay. I’ve had him start wearing a specific hat so that the guards don’t just shoot at him when he’s on his travels. Most of them have grown to like him and a lot of the children love him. For some reason he’s very protective of Mac...none of us know why.

I met another friendly Mutant in Far Harbor, he takes in dogs and trains them, sells them onto people. I’ve given him a lot of business since I found him. Cant persuade him to come to one of my settlements though.

As for the hostile ones.. most of them aren’t too hard for us to take down anymore, it’s when there’s a swarm of the fuckers. Mac and I tend to travel just the two of us and we’re both snipers, we can use shorter range weapons of course but we are way more deadly with our rifles, so it’s always a bit awkward when they close the distance. Suiciders will always send me into a panic though.

What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

Nisha...Mac and I must have given her 5 shots each..and she still kept coming, screaming and bleeding, waving her blade around. She finally stopped inches from my face, Mac got her in the face through the space for her eyes. I was just frozen, never seen anything like it. Mac had to walk me over to a bench by the shoulders and sit me down.

Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

A few, we try to avoid them though.

Do you like fighting?

Yes and no, neither of us likes to have to do it, it’s a means to live but sometimes the adrenaline is amazing.

What’s your weapon of choice?

50cal Sniper rifle, NV recon scope, recoil compensating stock with a suppressor. 

How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

Depends on the situation, I’m pretty good at talking us out of a bad situation, I’m pretty strong for my size and fairly agile. ( S:7 P:8 E:5 C:9 I:7 A:6 L:5)

Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

Yes..not a big fan.

How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

I have a few mutations now, my eyes are all messed up, I get nausea which makes it difficult to remember to eat. I visit a Dr regularly to get my rads cleared and get some fluids. We thoroughly cook our meat and veg and maintain the water filters regularly to try and reduce the exposure.

What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

RAD CHICKEN! I love them!

What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

Cave Crickets...fuck those.

How do you feel about robots?

They’re cool! you gotta make sure your coding is solid though, or you might have some issues.

How many caps do you have on you right now?

Uhhh, like 2k? I tend to store the rest.

Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

Nuka Cola, never had a Sunset though.

Do you do chems?

Stimpaks, Med-ex, Rad-x and Radaway, not so much the others.

Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

Every day..

What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

It’s hard to say because anything could mean I would never have met Mac and even though this world is...terrifying and awful..I have never loved someone the way I love Mac.. I...have no idea.

What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

So far my biggest achievement is earning the pride of my Father. Something I hope to achieve? destroy the Institute, save my son and become a family with Mac and Duncan.

What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world?

For the future, I want everyone to get to experience peace, I want the world to heal and for us to rebuild. It’s unrealistic..but I want everyone to be safe.

For me? I just want to be with Mac, be safe, both of us, Duncan and Shaun, safe and happy, always full and never wanting. I want the same for my friends and loved one. I want the same for the world.

[whatislife2018-blog]

dipping a toe in the cool pool

Once you crumple up a piece of paper you can never get it flat again. Every time you shove it in a backpack or pull it just past the break point you’ve done something to it you can never undo. The problem with my life is that I haven’t been through enough real suffering to have invoke enormous transformation that Nietzsche speaks of. There’s clearly a threshold to pain and in comparison to the mass amounts of pain there is in this world, my pain seems like a stubbed toe. Of course not to say that has made any of my hardships easy, but everyone has a baseline for pain. In an emergency room, the first questions they ask is your pain level on a scale of  1-10. As you go through life your 10 could become a 2. Of course the worst pain isn’t physical. Oppression, loss, emotional abuse: That is real pain. The difference between the range rover driving trophy wife and the african slave is their baseline pain.

Nietzsche writes, “But for the creator to appear, suffering itself is needed, and much transformation.” Nietzsche wanted us to be superman, to replace god with ourselves, and he believed the only way to do this was to endure suffering. Suffering is the mass extinction that leaves a hole in the world that is left to be filled with new. Nietzsche sought suffering out through isolation. I don’t think people today would ever seek out suffering. You can get shoved and torn and crumpled, but it’s what you do in the aftermath that defines you.  Most people do everything in their power to escape suffering: take pills, go on vacation, actively ignore the harsh realities of our world. “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering”, writes Nietzsche. Suffering is a chance to create something out of the broken pieces, make something meaningful, and find the beauty in the suffering. Art is the manifestation of suffering. You hear about great people, that they suffered beautifully. Cool shows us that to ignore suffering is to not life fully, and to limit yourself to a boring, unchanging sameness.

I used to be very preoccupied with being happy. Some people will spend the entirety of their lives trying to convincing themselves that they are happy. Sheep are happy. Nietzsche says, “Man is a rope stretched between the animal and the Superman--a rope over an abyss.” You can’t stay on the rope, balancing forever. Where you land on the spectrum: god or sheep? Nietzsche knows that most of us will choose sheep. It is infinitely easier to be a sheep. Humans are the only animals who have the opportunity to move past their “animal” status, and we should. We should, dine, dance, love, and think deeply, because we can. I don’t want to be a god, but I’d hate to die a sheep.

Cool says to reinvent yourself. Everytime I moved, (10 times and counting) I was given a chance to re-event myself. The three most influential moves that formed the person I am today were just prior to freshman year,  again junior year, and then college.  In middle school I was extremely uncool, looking through my families lense. I had values like: school comes first, always be kind, and playing outside is better than TV. Throughout middle school I became a little clone of all the girls in my grade. My lens taking on my new environment. My new look: Hollister, Victoria’s Secret leggings, and Rainbow flip flops, but most importantly stick straight hair. Though I tried hard to fit in with my peers, I was still the nerdy french girl who ate nutella before it was cool and wore marinier t-shirts. Then I moved to Virginia. Despite my stubborn attempts of denial, I transformed into a Virginia Beach kid. Definition of VB kid: converse with high socks, expensive surfer brands, wavy natural hair, and the don’t care attitude. Slowly, I shed all the Florida that use to camouflage me, and was painted with the vb look. Next, Reno, NV, with a new uniform of Berks, Patagonia, and a false sense of school spirit. As easy as it would have been to lose myself completely in the sea of norm each time I moved, I never managed to conform wholly. I was still a nerd, a foreigner at heart, and still “too nice” to be a cool kid.

I called it adaptation. A word I used extensively in my college application. But what did I really mean by it? That I can learn to fit into many different groups of people? Why would I ever want that? I wasn’t in the “in” crowd, and now I know exactly why that was. I look back on the “in” crowd, still in their hometowns, all attending the same school, going to the same parties, and trapped inside their tiny bubbles. Their world views can’t escape the place they were born, because they’ve never left. I’ve come to the conclusion that I never was really able to adapt to these people because I wasn’t them. My lens will never be composed of just Reno, VB, or Pensacola views. I became a collage with all the little pieces glued together, awkwardly but connected: a piece of Normandy, of my best friends, my sisters, the ocean, the mountains, and a piece of every experience and every person that has ever influenced me. I became someone who craves the outdoors, is loyal to people even when they don’t deserve it, is understanding and open, and cannot seem to stay in one place for too long because of what I know is left out there to explore.

Because of my world view I believe in many aspects of the cool. “We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities”, wrote Oscar Wilde. I believe we constantly forget the real necessities life. Girls at this University walk around with $10,000 on the wrists. I look at that and think about how many plane tickets that bracelet is worth, or even how many meals. However, I believe that truly cool things can’t be bought. The word “need” has been completely distorted in our time. I don’t need a college education. I don’t need coffee in the morning. I do need my health and such things that are constantly taken for granted. But why wouldn’t we? The value of something is based upon how easily it can be obtained, how common it is. Cool people know this. The ability to be unique, creative, and passionate will never have a price tag.

I agree with Gwendolyn Brooks when she writes, “we strike straight”. Cool people are no nonsense. There is no being two-faced. Cool people don’t pretend to be someone they’re not, and they certainly would never say something they didn’t believe,  just to spare feelings. My parents were very straight with me. It’s an American concept to tell your kids they’re perfect and can be anything and do anything. America’s the greatest country in the world. College is the best four years of your life. What goes around comes around. These are lies that kids are told growing up to keep us on the “right” path. Wilde says, “Illusion is the first of all pleasures.” People are begging to be deceived. Cool knows the truth. Cool knows America was never great, college shouldn’t be the best four years of your life, (in fact you shouldn't even go) and you can be the best person in the world and life will still screw you over. I’ve spent most of my life looking at one big illusion. The reality is everything is replaceable, your life is meaningless, and most people are the worst. As depressing as that sounds there’s an upside. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you stop trying to fit in with your peers, the more tightly you will hold on to the friends worth keeping, the sooner you stop worrying about insignificant things, and the easier it is to focus on the simple joys in life.

“Death is just down the street”, wrote Brooks. I could die any minute. So why am I wasting any second of it doing things like writing an essay? The answer is unfortunate. The reason I and anyone else does stuff like go to college, is because we are afraid. We lack the courage it takes to deviated from the cookie cutter life we are told to lead. As amazing as it sounds to quit school, go travel the world, and learn through experiencing, for the tiny blip of time my life-span allows me, I don’t do it. It’s sad but I will probably never be brave enough. That is why we respect cool people. They do what all of us are so unbelievably afraid to do. We are terrified to give up our safety, to truly live. Is a 3 hours biology lab really living? Is jogging on a treadmill? Is going to starbucks?

Though I don’t think I will ever be brave enough to be truly cool, but I can inch toward it. When I look back on the times when I felt I was truly living, I see is a London street, a cliff in Hawaii, or the slopes down to Lake Tahoe.  Living has everything to do with dying. “Get busy living or get busy dying”- The Shawshank Redemption. Cool tells us to dance with death. I don’t believe in god and I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe that we have this life, and that’s all we get. What else are we here for, but to live?  Just as Langston Hughes wrote, “But for livin' I was born.” I believe that even if we’re not brave enough for the gigantic leap of faith that truly cool people take, we still have opportunity for some minimal street credit. My lens is definitely not a “cool” lens, or I would definitely not be here, in Shalala Student center at University of Miami, typing up an essay about how much I wish my life was cooler. I think there are alot of awful things about our world that are more than enough reason to not want to live at all, but there are also things that are reason enough to continue living. We can love. We can taunt death. We can help other people. That to me is cool. Whether you’re a rockstar or a graffiti artist, you are giving something to the world that makes it worth all the bad. This is why I want to be a doctor. Because as uncool as a career is, giving people a second chance at living is worth it.

You can’t expect life to be easy. If  you say it is, then you’re either lying, or you’ve never lived at all. As Frederick Douglass wrote, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.”  Cool is struggle, continued struggle, and rebellion. You always have to be fighting for something, against something, or for something better. Freedom? Equality? I want to fight for other people. Throughout my life all the most inspiring people, the coolest people I’ve met were people who fought for others. This is what I believe in because I’ve had the privilege of having degrees of freedom and equality, and yet nowhere near enough. It’s a continuous rebellion, a “private rebellion” (Cool rules). Never accepting the way things are is the key to progress. Never accepting yourself as finished. Never letting anyone put you in a box. I am not my stereotype. Debois writes to this. He knew no matter how many times people tried to tell him what or who he was, he was not that. I don’t want to grow up just to be what everyone told me I was. “Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”(Wilde). In a world where original seems impossible, I will continue to change myself and my worldview by peering through many different lenses.