#Sorry I have to rate most of my vids mature

[kelseachan]

[1] Shake the hips for Power! | Mischief Makers (Ft RadioYorick)

[sidhelives]

Fic Author Self Rec

Thanks for the tag @noire-pandora!

When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love.

So, I love all my fics, and my favorites tend to get a lot of traffic, so instead of that I'm going to rec five of my lesser trafficked fics which I adore.

Go read em, ples?

1. Unreceived Vids

Mass Effect; Rating: Teen; 2662 Words

AKA The Author working through her complex emotions regarding the Alliance and personal grief after the BIG SAD that is the Citadel DLC

2. Shok Ebasit Hissra

Dragon Age Origins; Rating: Teen; 2353 Words

His brow furrowed at her stubbornness. "Suffering is a choice, and you can refuse it—"

"Do not quote Koslun at me!" Her rebuttal was violent, hands flying from her sides in exasperation. "If you wish to speak to me, do it in your own words or not at all."

Sten took a deep breath to calm his unwelcome frustration. "You do harm to yourself with your hatred. You fight against your own nature and bring needless suffering into the world."

Cressida's sharp, bitter laughter scalded like boiling oil. "Let me tell you a story..."

Written for Into The Abyss's May Character Study.

Thanks to Cryptographic_Delurk for beta-ing

3. Oh Good, You're Here

Dragon Age; Rating: Mature; 2591 Words

"Oh good, you're here." Desdemona spotted him the moment his blond hair cleared the landing.

"I'm here. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I have something for you— well not you exactly."

"For me but not for me. What does that mean?" One corner of his lips quirked up.

Desdemona glowered at his grin. "It's for Justice."

"You have something for… Justice?"

"Yes." Desdemona shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "A gift."

Written for Fen'Harem's Fluffcember 2020

Prompt: Gifts

4. I'm Sorry I Ruined Your Party

Dragon Age; Rating: Teen; 8912 Words (so far, ongoing fic)

Everyone knows the tale of the Champion. Varric Tethras' novel made sure of that.

What most people don't know is that he's a liar.

Nobody knows the whole story, as it happend.

Nobody was there when the Arishok fell, when the Circles rose up, and when the sky was split.

Nobody was there for it all.

She just wishes people would stop bringing it up.

5. She, In the Dark, Found Light

Dragon Age; Rating: Teen; 3341 Words

Sweetness,

Your sister told me they shipped you off to that horrible block of an island they call a circle tower. She said Carver could slip you this letter, so hopefully, that's what happened and you're reading it now.

*

Trapped in the Circle, Bethany Hawke's only connection to the outside world is the letters she gets from her family, and from a certain displaced ship's captain.

Written for Fen'Harem's Femslash February 2021

Tagging: @the-cryptographer @hezjena2023 @kittynomsdeplume @fiannans @rosella-writes @frostyfelassan @jrastegar @crown-laurel @beaubartley

[relatablepicturesofpatrickgill]

I’m sorry if this is cynical, but I’d really like your input on it (as an experience polygon vid/pat stream viewer): Do you think Pat is pushing the after hours streaming stuff because Polygon is ending? Or, at least, to try and maintain the ‘funny video/personality’ fans? I’ve noticed a lot of other polygon vid personalities are doing similar things, and main polygon video content keeps slowing down and changing, presumably in compliance w/ vox media strategy? Have you noticed too?

First of all real bold of you sending this to a Pat fanblog where all I do is make dumbass shitposts and post cat clips, as if I know a single goddamn thing about anything, but since you asked I’ll try to answer as many of your questions as possible. (I’m not mad about being asked btw I just really find it funny you’d send it here of all places lmao). Disclaimer time: I am not in any way affiliated with Polygon or Vox Media nor do I know how they operate behind the scenes.

Do I personally think Polygon is ending and that Pat streams because of that? Short answer, no. However, I believe Polygon’s necessary (yes, I said necessary) and inevitable (yes, INEVITABLE) change in content is due to a lot of deeper issues people might not know about, which I’ve gathered from research and being an idiot whomst has watched Youtube for 10+ years. Let me just say, the last year or so has pretty much been the “Everybody Knows Shits Fucked” song on repeat until we die so this is going to be a long ass post. Buckle up kiddos we’re warp speeding into this fuckfest together.

Youtube Advertiser Boycott And The Algorithms

Every social media website employs the use of algorithms to decide how content gets sorted, and Youtube isn’t any different. That’s why Youtubers constantly ask you to “like, comment and subscribe” because it helps their content get noticed through Youtube’s internal system – such as search priority, the trending section, your homepage and your recommended tab, as well as the recommended sidebar on individual videos. As for content, one of the more effective models was to find a niche and cater to it, something Polygon did by creating Monster Factory and similar humored series alongside their serious content.

And for a while, it worked. Except things change.

Before we get any further I highly suggest you read this article written by Julia Alexander about the complicated history of Youtube’s monetization system, but I’ll try to give a quick summary. Something controversial will happen on Youtube, causing brands to pull their business from the platform until they can get more security on what types of videos their ads play on, then Youtube refines the system to give brands more control. Rinse and repeat. The new system results in a massive amount of videos being demonetized, causing creators to lose revenue and viewer engagement and then request appeals to have their content reviewed by humans, which in turn improves the algorithm. Those most negatively affected by the system must diversify their payments either through Patreon, Twitch, merch, etc, or in worst case scenarios, give up on their dreams of being a Youtuber.

Youtube has a lot of incentive to keep creators updated on changes, so when users ask, “hey, can we know what’s going on with the website?” Youtube responds with an informative, “absolutely not. Die.” The userbase, as a result, is forced to run their own investigations. Nerd City published a video revealing another algorithm (one just as prone to mistakes) assigns all videos with an MPAA-style rating to make it easier for businesses to decide what sort of content they’re comfortable advertising on. This rating – hidden from both the uploader and their audience – Cannot. Be. Appealed. Good fucking system am I right!!! (Also, please watch the video if you get the chance, it brings up some points about machine learning and how the system negatively affects marginalized creators).

One more thing, do you remember what I said earlier about how a video gets popular on Youtube’s internal system? Well, creators have reason to believe a higher rating attributes to view suppression – meaning their videos might end up exempt from the things I listed. This makes it so much harder for a channel to grow their userbase outside of an already established audience. If you’re following along you might be able to tell where I’m going with this, but if not…

What Does This Have To Do With Video Games Polygon?

Once again, I do not know any of the behind the scenes Polygon lore and a lot of this is guesswork on my part. I’d imagine as a branch of Vox Media, Polygon would have a higher priority getting any potentially demonetized videos appealed than smaller, independent channels do. However, when your own website is reporting the system responsible for sorting and rating videos goes deeper than just demonetization, with a full MPAA-style ranking that’s been shown to suppress the growth of certain content not deemed advertiser friendly, such as excessive profanity and sexually suggestive content, which turns out is a subset of the niche your channel has developed – that’s a problem.

This isn’t me being critical of their content or saying what they make is bad (considering I’m a fan of it as well), this is an objective look at the reality of a rapidly changing platform. Unfortunately, the biggest flags in my head for Polygon happen to be the Jackbox series and… Monster Factory. There’s absolutely no way some of those videos are getting a kid-friendly rating, and it’s possible the bot is slapping some of them with a mature rating – the worst one where enough of those could potentially affect the rating of the entire channel. Griffin, in one of the Spore MF videos, emphatically yells, “come fuck this” to the heavens; lo and behold, a few years later Youtube finally does.

Of course, this is just one of a few different problems Polygon is facing. The Mcelroys left to focus on their own businesses, taking some of their fans with them. Other fans who mainly want the video game news might end up unsubscribing if too many videos irrelevant to their interests are posted. Some series, while perfectly funny in their own right, have trouble breaking out and appealing to a wider audience.

Polygone But Not Forgotten?

I’ll try to put it as softly as I can: almost all creators on Youtube have to reevaluate the content they put out and how it fits into Youtube’s ad-friendly guidelines if they want to continue receiving ad revenue and viewer engagement from the site. This is not just a Polygon specific problem, and as a news channel they benefit a lot more by working within the new parameters. Polygon’s primary priority should be their video game website, where I go to read all the articles that aren’t about video games, as ad revenue is probably more stable and allows them more room for sillier content. As for their channel, the “horny niche” appeal doesn’t have as much of a place anymore. Well, on Youtube at least.

Twitch, however, seems like a better home for Polygon’s familiar borderline type of humor. On a stream Pat said, as the live video producer, he’s responsible for getting their channel partnered which will come with some very important benefits, such as the ability to subscribe. I’d assume creating content for Youtube takes priority over this, and there’s also the fact that Pat is just one person and needs to balance this with other things like “having a life” and “eating??? Perhaps???” (maybe even A Vegetable). By the way, to answer one of your other questions, it’s normal for creators to have projects outside of their work and build their own personal brand, like Pat’s Twitch channel, Brian’s Youtube channel, Simone’s author account and everyone’s countless podcasts. It’s not recommended to rely solely on Youtube for your income, even before the ad boycotts, so if you can diversify your content then do so.

Listen, I know this is disappointing and I know it’s not the answer people want. Youtube’s new system isn’t going away and the video team needs to accommodate for these changes or otherwise Perish. I believe in Polygon’s ability to deliver informative, humorous and accessible content, they just need the time to do it. As an audience, a way to offer support during this difficult time is to just be as understanding and patient as possible, and give the content they put out a chance if you can.

Now I am not an expert on any of this, but if you have any questions or comments you can send them to my main @malarcana and I’ll try to answer them. Thanks for reading!

[thelionshoarde]

to the unknown; mature; shance

scenes from a post-series space war epic that i will probably never actually write - anyway this is what happens when i read too much star trek au lol - rated mature

In the mess Lance grimaced at his dinner tray. With one hand he flicked the edge of the dinged metal, watching it rattle. Something gelatinous and vaguely green-colored jiggled in protest.

“I thought I left behind space goo,” he muttered. “God, I would actually kill for some mac’n’cheese.”

“Homemade or Kraft?” asked Matt.

Lance wrinkled his nose, looking up at the man diagonally across him, holo-displays arrayed about his own half-eaten dinner as he scrolled through cramped lines of glowing text. A lens in his glasses was cracked. The left, and Matt kept reaching his hand up to rub against his eyebrow, probably not even registering the pain of eye-strain, let alone the gesture itself.

“Either,” Lance admitted. “Hell, I’d toss you out of an airlock if it got me a single packet of string cheese, Holt. What’re you looking at?”

Ignoring the threat, Matt shrugged with an awkward, bird-like hunch of his shoulders. With the hand not pressing into his eye socket he grasped blindly for his spoon and scooped a bit of processed nutrients onto it. Lance watched it slip off the side with a grimace and roll of his stomach.

“Not sure yet. Let you know when I find out, though, if you haven’t killed me yet.”

“Deal,” Lance grinned.

Sharp, quick footsteps sounded out behind him. Lance felt his spine tense at the sound; only a soldier on a mission could sound quite like that, after all. He was entirely unsurprised when he found an Ensign hovering at this elbow, hesitant to interrupt.

“He’ll fuss if you don’t finish your dinner,” Matt said, voice mild with distraction.

Lance ignored him and the truth of that statement. Turning, he propped his cheek on a fist, elbow sliding onto the table and butting his tray away from him. He smiled crooked at the young woman standing in front of him, uniform neat. New recruit, probably; not yet worn down by the reality of her new station.

“Why, hello there. What can I do for you?”

She blinked, startled. “Ah. Your husband --”

Matt choked down a snort, badly. Lance’s eyebrows rose toward his hairline, grin growing. He watched as a mortified, mottled blush flooded her face. “Your -- I mean! The Captain requests your presence in his ready room,” she gasped, horrified.

It was always awkward when gossip got mixed into official business. Well, for others. Not for Lance. Lance ate that shit up like a five-star meal.

“Mm,” he hummed. “My husband wants to see me, does he? And in the ready room? Goodness, goodness.”

“Lieutenant Commander McClain,” the Ensign croaked out, nearly quivering. “I apologize. I didn’t mean --”

“It’s fine,” Lance said, flapping his free hand at her. “What was your name, Ensign?”

“Adams,” she squeaked.

“Thank you, Ensign Adams. Back to your post, then. I’ll go and see what’s bothering sweet cheeks.”

The Ensign made a strangled noise, swaying where she stood.

“You’ll get used to him,” Matt offered. Then he hesitated before admitting, “Maybe. Hopefully? Okay, probably not. He’s a mess. But hey, if you’re hungry, he’s not going to finish his food, you know. You’re, hmm. Very pretty for an Ensign, miss. What was your first name, again?”

Lance dropped his fist, turning to stare incredulously at his lead scientist who was gazing with open admiration at a woman nearly half his age and no where near his ranking. “You are forty years old, old man.”

“But I’m not dead,” Matt said, voice plaintive. Jesus, Lance hoped he hadn’t been that -- no, he had definitely been that bad. Ugh.

Lance said, voice clipped and professional, but deliberately warm, “Dismissed, Enisgn Adams. And if this grandpa tries to bother you come straight to me and I’ll toss his ass out of the airlock, understood?”

She nodded frantically and -- smart woman -- escaped before they could say anything else. Matt made a displeased noise. “Marriage has changed you, McClain.”

Lance snorted. “Sure, it wouldn’t have anything to do with age, and the passing of time, and the appearance of maturity. Or, you know, a war we’ve been fighting for --”

“Shut uuup,” Matt said, letting his spoon fall into his goo with a splat.

“-- what, a decade? An eternity? Ugh, yes, blame it all on monogamy, that’s the ticket.” Lance sniffed, and rose from his chair. “Have fun with your reports, Commander. I am going to go and see my husband. And possibly get some. If I’m very lucky and very, very naughty.”

“Blatant insubordination, Lieutenant Commander.”

“Sure, sure,” Lance muttered as he ambled away. He heard the scrape of his tray against the table as Matt commandeered it. “Doesn’t even blink at the death threats -- but the mention that I’ve got a real sex life? Suddenly it’s all business, no fun.”

He grinned, and hurried through the halls to the Captain’s ready room.

* * *

“I’m getting too old for this,” Shiro sighs, unzipping a boot and letting it fall to the floor with a hollow thunk. “What’s the official age of being Too Old For This Shit, anyway? Forty-five? Fifty? Seventy-three and a half?”

“Oddly specific,” Lance calls back, squinting at the dark shadows beneath his eyes beneath the clouded mirror. “How about -- when we’re dead?”

“Oddly morbid.”

Lance listens to the thunk of the other boot, and then hears the small clink of Shiro unbuckling his belt. He purses his lips and angles his chin, examining the texture of his skin and despairing at what he finds. But there won’t be another shipment from Earth for a month, at least, and it is unlikely that even when the supplies arrived -- if they arrived; Lance tried not to deal in absolutes anymore -- his preferred facial cream wouldn’t be amongst them.

“Shiro,” he said, stepping back from the sink and tilting his head back to stare at the rusted rivets in the ceiling. They’re probably smoother than his skin at this point. “Shiro. I... am officially ugly.”

A loud snort comes from the bedroom.

“I mean it, Shirogane! My skin is -- ugh, I can’t go on like this. How can you love me with a face this hideous? My skin is so dry, I think I might already be dead. A mummy! Just bits of me flaking off, now, all my early glory lost to the annals of time, and -- SHUT UP, SHIRO, I’M BEING DRAMATIC.”

“You’re being absurd,” Shiro corrects, voice much closer, now. Lance tips his head back far enough that he can make Shiro out. He is standing just inside the door to the bathroom, broad shoulders taking up the space. He’s grinning. He’s also shirtless and pantsless and covered in scars and space-pale and beautiful.

“You’re space-crazy,” Lance says, still staring at him upside down. “This post has made you nuts, bud, or you’ve gone blind. It’s the only reasonable explanation.”

“Or,” says Shiro, nearly patient; the fuzzy edge of his voice betrays his amusement, however, “you’re being overly dramatic, because you are still the most beautiful being I’ve ever laid eyes on, Lance.”

“Hnn.”

Shiro comes closer, kissing Lance’s hairline. “Come to bed,” he murmurs. “Let me prove it.”

The position is making him dizzy, his heart pounds; that, and the promise in Shiro’s voice, the warmth of his lips against Lance’s skin. He lets his eyes close in a soft sigh, and surrenders.

* * *

“Raptor-7 locked on to target, go for engagement.”

“Copy that, Raptor-7,” said Lance, fingers rolling against the controls of his B-Ray, gloves crinkling with the motion. His vid-screen showed a vista of stars and darkness lit up with tightly furled clouds of red-orange-yellow fire; the blurred, twin yellow lights of other B-Rays cut through the dwindling ranks of Y’ks Hex Fighters, leaving hazy streaks that faded and dwindled as they assumed positions.

“Raptor-3 locked on target! Go for engagement!”

“Raptor-12 is locked and loaded, squad leader! Go for engagement.”

“Acknowledged, Raptor-3, Raptor-12. What’s your status Raptor-4? And -- Oi! Watch your flank, Raptor-11, shake that Hex before --”

A new explosion bloomed like a silent firework on the edge of his vid-screen. The monitor to his left, near his elbow, that kept track of all the ships in his squadron beeped, alerting him to the destruction of one of his own. Lance could feel the way the skin of his face tightened, but he hadn’t the time to flinch, or even to curse.

“Hold your positions, kiddos,” he barked into his com, seeing the way two Hex Fighters were trying to cut Raptor-6 from the pack. With an almost insolent tilt of his controls, Lance felt his B-Ray curve into motion, picking up speed. “And kill any bastard that comes near, you hear me? Raptor-6, evasive maneuver Alpha-Gold!”

“Copy that, Raptor-Daddy!”

Lance squawked, coming up beneath the two engaged Hex Fighters just as Raptor-6 did an impressive corkscrew back the way she’d come. Lance fired as the enemy attempted to engage, slowing as they pulled up and reversed course, blue energy trails going fat and sluggish against the black.

“That is definitely not appropriate,” Lance said, breathless as the two ships exploded and Raptor-6 soared free. “...I like it, keep calling me that. Best designation, ever!”

A crackle in the cockpit announced a private line from command; Lance grinned, heart pounding. Sweat was pooling down his spine, his neck felt tight, tense at the base of his skull. But he had no time for fear or worry or admittance of the two. “Uh oh,” he told his squad. “Looks like Daddy’s in trouble.”

“Whups,” chirped Raptor-6, entirely unapologetic.

“McClain,” barked Iverson’s voice, stern. “Is now really the time for this foolishness? Haven’t you a job to be doing? Do you want to die? You’ve already lost --”

“Oh, no!” Lance yelped, lifting a leg to aim for the comm control with his knee. “I think I’m having interference! Talk to you later, Admiral, so sorry, you know how much I love these little chats of ours!”

“MCCLAIN,” roared Iverson, before Lance had the outside comm cut off.

It was just him and his squad, now, in the black of space far from home. He said, “Listen up, kiddos. That is a Y’ks Model Signa Cruiser, fully combat-ready. You all know its weaknesses. We can’t let that fucker past Saturn, you hear?”

A chorus of grim but heartfelt acknowledges reached him.

Lance grinned, feeling his pulse race just as he reclaimed his position. Beyond the few straggling Hex Fighters loomed the massive, bulbous bulk of a ship armed with enough explosives to rip apart a planet. From its side streamed more Hex Fighters. They had to take it down before the enemy was able to replenish its ranks sufficiently.

Sorry, he thought, sparing a moment to press a gloved thumb against the picture tucked into his console, but refusing to look at it. Instead, he kept his eyes on the prize.

“Go time, my darlings,” he murmured into the comm. As he gunned the engine, streaking forward with his fellow pilots trying to match his pace as they rushed the enemy line, Lance couldn’t help but grin.

[anti-yandere-dev]

Just a rant

I went into the Yandere Simulator related tag, and found a post saying that if you in any shape or form respect YandereDev, then you are a good person. I’m not going to link the post, as I don’t want this person to get attacked (despite the fact that they are supporting this jackass of an ‘indie developer’). I sort of just… face palmed, because what does this say for people who DO NOT respect YanDev? They are bad people? I guess in the eyes of his blinded fans, yeah, we are seen as bad people - the haters. There is literally no reason for me or anyone to respect him. I used to respect YandereDev once upon a time, but when he doxxed the owner of the first YandereDev crit blog, I lost most, if not all of my respect for him. 

I tried to stay within the fandom, and contribute to it because I liked Yandere Simulator a lot. The bugs made me laugh, and I meme’d the crud out of them. I made 3 MMD vids, and even wrote fics about the ‘game’ because I enjoyed it so much. But then I realize now that I continued to like Yandere Sim mainly because of fan contributions. Be it fanart, mmd, or fanfictions. I didn’t even leave the fandom and delete any posts about it til August because I got fed up with where it was going. I would have been alright with YandereDev’s past had he owned up to it. Yes, I’ve done some pretty stupid things as a kid and in my teenage years. But I’ve since did away with my own bad habits. YandereDev aka Alex Mahan has not.

After all that he’s done, I refuse to respect YandereDev again. It’s never happening. It doesn’t make me or you a bad person if you don’t respect him. He clearly has no good reasons under his belt to make him respectable. What YandereDev has shown us is that he is incapable of being honest and productive. He lies to his fans about his general schedule regarding the whole idea that he spends HALF the day working on the code for the game (which is a fucking mess, and you literally don’t have to be a programmer to recognize that because… Looooook at all those bugs in the game). He can’t even take criticism for crying out loud! Even if it is constructive, he will insist that you’re the asshole in the situation and that he’s the one to get off scott free.

Instead of doing what he claims he does 12 hours a day, he plays a multitude of video games. Which is something I’m not against, but don’t go claiming that you dedicate 12 hours a day to coding the damn game in order to meet that bi-weekly or monthly update to your game, Alex. Ontop of that, he steals character designs, game mechanics, rips certain environments in the game from MMD, uses copyrighted material (music, assets, etc) in Yandere Simulator, and makes 60k a year off of the unity run game. Yandere Simulator is devoid of any originality. If there is any, then well, it’s very little.

He is doing the equivalent of taking food from a fast food restaurant, putting said food on plates and bringing it to the guests (aka fans) claiming that the food is his own cooking. Yes, I just referenced that Steamed Buns clip from the Simpsons, but that element of the clip really does fit well with what Yanderedev actually does. Do the fans realize that they are supporting a fraud who will indeed never finish Yandere Simulator at the rate it’s going? Probably, probably not. For all we know, they are in denial. Or they unfortunately don’t care. I’m not saying Yandere Simulator will never be finished to be a downer. No, not at all. It’s the realistic outlook of things. Yes, FFXV took 10 years to make (Previously was XIII versus), but that’s because it was in its conception stage for 6 years, then it began to flourish as a more final product in 2012. 

But, does this give Yandere Simulator an excuse to be developed at such a slow pace? No, no it doesn’t. There was no conceptual stage. All Yandev did was combine Hitman and the Yandere trope into one game, using Unity assets. As an overall, Yandere Simulator is not that complex. It literally is a killing people simulator with little to no story. Now I get that it’s a sandbox build but it shouldn’t be a sandbox build at this point! It shouldn’t be using the Unity models any longer. Osana should be finished, heck, 5 or 6 rivals should be done at this point. It’s not that hard to implement YanSim’s equivalent of bosses into the game. 

I’m not undermining the difficulty that is involved in developing a game. It does take a lot of work. Truth of the matter is though, is that Yanderedev doesn’t work nearly as hard as he probably should to get this game developed and into something more than a sandbox. Yes, it’s a pain in the neck to code and program the game. It can also be difficult to come up with proper character designs, personalities, and stories but it’s not impossible. Yandere Simulator could have become something amazing. It still would have been closely compared to Hitman yeah, but it would not be in what I tend to call Video game development purgatory edging onto development hell. If Yanderedev does not fess up, and turn himself as a person around, much less turn the game he is developing around then it will never be finished. 

I’m very, very glad I never gave Yanderedev money on his patreon. Because I would have sorely regretted it. I respected him for a very long time, and found him to be great as a developer and as a person. Obviously through my ramblings, you can tell this isn’t the case anymore (Thank god). Yanderedev isn’t a saint. He is not a good person. Do I hope he grows the hell up and takes responsibility for his actions instead of blaming e-mails for the slow development of his “game”? Yes, I do. I really do. I doubt this will happen, but one can hope right? 

I’m not saying every YanSim fan is a bad person. Many, many of them are young and impressionable - misguided. Some of them are genuinely not good people, but unlike Dev, they have more potential to grow into better people whether they are minors or not. The biggest problem with Alex Mahan is that instead of taking responsibility for his past doings and trying to grow into a better person, he has retained his habits from his past even to this very day. I would have been “Whatever” about his past had he proved that he was a genuinely better person who learned from his mistakes. But the fact that he is the complete opposite of being mature and showing growth within himself as a person as well as his dishonesty are the biggest reasons why I turned my back on Yandere Simulator. Why I gave up on supporting YandereDev in general.

rant over. I’m sorry about that. ________________________________________________________________

**Submission by anonymous**

-Mod Bella

[thievinghippo]

Fic: The Naughty List

Fandom: Mass Effect: Andromeda

Pairing: Liam Costa/Calhoun Ryder

Rating: Mature

Notes: So the formatting looks strange if you have the ‘read more’ xkit extension. I have no idea how to fix it. But if you actually go to ‘read more’ the formatting will go back to normal. Sorry about this folks!

#

“Okay, so you’re probably tired of me asking,” Liam says, looking down at Ryder. “And I get it, I do. It’s just once I press this button,” he holds out his omni-tool to her. Does she get it? Of course she does, she’s Ryder, she’s one of the smartest people he’s ever known. But does she really get it? “there’s no turning back. You’re recorded. Naked. On my omni-tool. Forever.”

 Ryder brings the sheets up over her breasts and covers her mouth. It’s adorable as all hell the way she does that. And is that a hint of a blush? Liam hopes so. He really likes the idea of making her blush. A lot. Probably more than he should, but who cares, right? It’s just the two of them. Naked and in her quarters. More like his quarters, too, with the amount of time he spends here. He wonders if they should talk about that. Maybe it’s time he officially moves in. They’ve been together long enough.

 “It’s like you’re trying to talk me out of this,” Ryder says with a laugh. Fuck, he loves making her laugh. One of the best things in the galaxy, really. “Liam, I know the risks. But I trust you. And besides, SAM won’t let anything happen to the recording.”

 Liam’s heart does a weird pitter-patter thing when she says the word trust. Almost as great as hearing her say that she loves him. Not quite, though. Almost. “SAM?” Liam asks. Might as well go to the source, yeah? “If anyone hacks our ‘tools?”

 It will be in my power to erase any evidence that the recording took place. There will never be any danger of discovery.

 “That’s what I like to hear,” Liam says. Good old SAM, always willing to help a mate out. He looks back down at Ryder, who’s tossed the sheet aside, wearing nothing but her birthday suit. Goddamn, she’s beautiful. A soldier like him, and it shows in every muscle. “Alright, so the omni-recorder is ready. You ready?”

A slow smile crosses her face and Liam knows she’s ready. He’s never done this before, recorded himself having sex. Wanted to, definitely. But never found a woman willing to indulge that side of him. Until Ryder. One night, after having probably one too many drinks, they started what he now calls the naughty list. Horrible name, he knows. But they already have a list full of things they want to do and he doesn’t want them getting the two confused. So naughty list it is. And this was at the very top.

 “Come here,” she says, almost in a whisper, as she reaches out her hand. That’s all the invitation he needs. Liam lays down on top of her, never getting enough of skin on skin. She’s the most amazing combination of hard muscle and soft skin and his hands just want to touch her everywhere.

 They kiss - and it’s fucking good, because kissing Ryder is always good - but he starts to think of the omni-cam watching them.

 “Wait,” Liam says, breaking off their kiss as he pushes himself up on his forearms. “Shit, this isn’t working.”

 “Seems like it’s working pretty good to me,” Ryder says, propping herself on an elbow.

 Her hand’s around his cock now and fuck it takes him a second to remember why he stopped. Long game, Kosta, forget short term gains, Liam thinks to himself. “We’re at the wrong angle,” he says, holding back a moan. It’s really not bloody fair how good she is with her hands. “All we’ll see is my bum.”

 “Sounds like my kind of vid,” Ryder says. She gives his cock a slight squeeze and it’s really not fair. How’s he supposed to think under these conditions? “A vid just of your ass? Yes, please.”

 “Supposed to be something we both enjoy,” Liam says with a snort. Not that he thinks he has a bad ass, mind you. He works pretty damn hard to have a decent looking ass. But for this? He wants to see them both.

 Ryder bites her bottom lip and it’s bloody adorable, like she is, but then before he’s even got a chance to process that thought, she pushes him over onto his back. She swings her leg over his hips, straddling him. Now this, he likes. No kissing, which is a shame, but nothing beats this view. “This more what you thinking of?” she asks, rolling her hips against his.

 “Getting closer,” Liam says, sliding his hands up her thighs to settle on her hips.

 “Should we do it like the vids?” Ryder asks, laughing, and his hearts stutters because it’s her. But as she’s sliding her hands up her body, Liam stills, because she apparently wants to give him a show and he has absolutely no problem with that. Her fingers tangle in her hair as she starts to moan. “Oh, Liam. Yes, right there. Fuck, oh Liam!”

 She’s bouncing up and down and okay, her breasts look good. Really good. But she’s faking so badly that Liam can’t keep himself from laughing. “What? No,” he says, pulling Ryder down on top of him. He tries to kiss her and he thinks she’s trying to kiss him, too. She’s laughing and he’s laughing and they’re both just fucking laughing.

 “I love you,” she says when they finally catch their breath and Liam’s heart grows about three sizes.

 “I love you, too,” he says, kissing her shoulder. How in the hell did he get so lucky? Even now, Liam still doesn’t understand it, he every day, he’s grateful.

 “Here, sit up,” Ryder says, scratching his stomach. It shouldn’t feel that good, but is always does.

 Liam leans back against the headboard as Ryder straddles his hips. He can tell exactly what she’s going for and he’s absolutely okay with this development. “Try again?” she asks, raising an eyebrow. “We can cut the stuff in the beginning.”

 “Oh no,” Liam says. He kisses her hard as he wraps his arms around her. He wants to be close now, as close as they can be. “We’re absolutely keeping that.”

 Cause that, the laughing and mistakes, is exactly the kind of thing he’ll want to see in fifty years when they’re old and grey. Without even trying, they’ve made the perfect sex vid. For them.