#Sometimes you're the boss in town sometimes you're getting stomped

[neurodecadence]

CDDA is great and annoying for the exact same reasons.

Its great because death is only ever a hair's breadth away, and every day, every week, you survive is testament to your choices, skills, knowledge, and a dash of luck

It's annoying because sometimes there was no way to know about the giant ants nest until one bites your head clean off, and it's right back to making a cudgel and cowering from every moving creature you see.

[thewritepages]

The Diary of the Older Collegiate (#TheFreshman Series) (2)

Synopsis : Annabelle Green is somewhat in a situation no thirty year woman would want to find herself in : (Un) Happily divorced, childless and with a job worth peanuts and migraine. The downward spiral of her life doesn't seem to end anytime soon until her sister reminds her of her most cherished dream.

College.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

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MAY 10, 2019

3.30 A.M.

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Maybe Kat was right- A few days away has done me good.

I've actually stopped bawling every ten minutes. I have even managed to sleep for five hours straight last night, which is a significant improvement.

My family members quickly realized that I had to no intention to talk about the disastrous interview or about my estranged husband. Instead, they've tried distracting me with all sorts of things-

Mum: "Anna, darling, come here and help us with the gardening."

Me: "Who's the other person in the 'we'?"

Kat: (appearing out of nowhere) "That would be me."

Me: "Okay, fine. Wait...Mum. Didn't you complain of knee pain? You may have arthritis! You need to stop exerting yourself."

Mum: "Oh, Anna, really, it isn't so bad-"

Me: "And you, Kat, what do you think you're doing here? Without GLOVES?? You may develop toxoplasmosis! Do you know how toxic-"

Kat: (rolling her eyes) "Oh, now enough already Miss Know-It-All. I was going to wear them! Would you please-"

Me: "On second thoughts, gloves won't suffice. According to Youronlinegynac.com, You have to make sure you wear long sleeve blouses, long trousers, rain boots and a mask, for good measure."

Mum: "Anna-"

Me: "Plus, you're carrying twins for heaven's sake. Don't you ever read pregnancy articles? You must give your back as much rest as possible-"

Kat: "I JUST GOT OUT OF BED-"

Me: "Back to you, Mum. The morning sun is not very good for your aging skin. I think-"

Kat: "You know what, Anna? Never mind about us. You should probably go back to sleep."

Jeez, so much for being considerate.

So, yeah. That's what I've been the entire week – Eat, Read and Watch Movies. Sometimes, Kat pops in to chat but storms away ten minutes later claiming that my "Ridiculous Internet Articles" exasperates her. I completely fail to understand why she gets so agitated about it. The other day when I told her all about Kim K's regime for fighting flabby abdomen and about her extremely shapely hips despite having four kids, all she did was glare at me for a full minute and then stomps away.

Must be the hormones.

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MAY 11, 2019

3.30 A.M.

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IT'S DEFINITELY THE HORMONES.

I MEAN, HOW COULD SHE - I WOULD NEVER – IT'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE –

Calm down, Anna. Deep breaths. In and out. In and out.

Okay... let's just rewind all that.

About two hours ago, I was just roaming around the house, munching on Pop Tarts, having nothing else to do with sleep permanently erased from my mind. Passing through the corridor, I suddenly spotted the narrow staircase leading up to the attic.

Deciding to go check out the old stuff stashed up there, I climbed up the rickety staircase, opening up the dusty wooden door. As I rifled through old furniture and documents, a familiar cardboard box caught my eye. It was labeled "ANNA'S STUFF. DO NOT TOUCH." In my old scrawly handwriting. As my gaze lingers on the label, memories seep into my mind. Why did I skip college? Why did I leave town? Why did I sacrifice everything...for him?

With shaky hands, I open the box.

The box was filled with dozens of college applications, unfinished application essays and my high school books. I touched the frayed sheets, decaying with years, wondering how life would have been, if I had just taken the chance.

"Anna! What happened? " Kat dropped down beside me, breathing heavily.

"Kat! Why did you come up here? The latest article in the Mom-to-be e-magazine says that –"

"Oh, will you just stop with your goddamn articles and tell me what the hell is wrong? Why are you crying?" Her gaze shifted to the box.

"What's in that?"

I quickly closed the lid. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just being my usual pathetic self, I guess." I wiped my cheeks hastily.

"Aw. C'mere, Annie." She opens her arms wide, offering comfort. I accepted it gratefully.

"Okay. Now tell me what's wrong."

Despite my state of weakness, I still found the strength to roll my eyes at her. "Really? You want me to tell you the messy details of my marriage, once again?"

"Oh lord, not that. I'm sick of hearing your big, sad story." I let out a sad chuckle. "The other reason for your misery. There's something else, I know it."

I sniffed. "How do you 'know'? "

"I just...know."

"Jeez, and I thought I was the weird one."

She broke away from the embrace and looked at me right in the eye.

"Now, will you stop deflecting the topic and tell me what the hell is wrong with you?"

I looked here and there for some distraction. A few moments later, I realized that I was trapped.

"It's nothing, really."

"I'll be the judge of that." She smiled kindly at me.

And that was it. I began to bawl like a two year old.

"I wish I never skipped college. I wish I never gave up on my dream. I wish I'd waited like you d-did. "I swallow the huge lump in my throat. "And you know what's the worst part? I gave up everything, for that...that bastard!" I threw my face in my lap, muffling my high decibel cry.

Kat, on the other hand, waits patiently. Ten minutes later, I sit up straight, staring at her with bloodshot eyes.

"So...no words of comfort or consolation?"

"Why is there a need for that when the solution is right in front of you?"

"What do you mean?"

Her face grows impatient. "You sound like you're eighty and lying on your deathbed or something. You have so much of life ahead of you, so many opportunities waiting for you."

I shake my head, still not getting the point.

All of the sudden, she grabs my face tightly and looks at me with happiness glimmering in her eyes.

"You wanted to attend college, right? Get a degree? Discover your talents? This is the moment, Anna! You can finally live your dream!"

I stare at her for a solid minute. And then I stare at her some more.

"Well?" she inquires.

"Me? Attend college? Now?"

She nods vigorously. "This is your chance, Anna. What's there to stop you?"

I blink. She blinks.

Suddenly, I explode into a full-fledged, insane laughter. I laugh and I laugh, till my cheeks hurt.

Kat waits again, calmly as ever. She appraises me grimly. "If you're done with the schizophrenic behavior, would you be kind enough to tell me what you found so funny about what I said?"

"What's funny about it? Seriously? I'll tell you what's funny." I stand in front of her. "Look at me. I'm a thirty year old divorced, childless woman with nothing to look forward to. I've spent my entire life listening to complaints, be it from my boss in office or from my husband back home. Now that my darling husband has got rid of me, I have to work extra shifts to pay the rent, the bills, everything."

"So what, Anna? This is what you've always wanted to do. You are an intelligent, young"- I snorted-"independent woman, as far as I've seen you. You deserve a fun college experience, even if you think you're twelve years late for it."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble, Kat, but I really am twelve years too late to apply. And anyway, which college will be willing to take me in?"

"Any college would be lucky to have you, Annabelle Green. Just you wait and watch." She strides out of the attic, determined and excited.

Oh, well. Now that I think of it, all of this was probably a part of the mood swings she goes through. I bet she'll forget all of this by breakfast time.

Yeah, nothing to worry about.

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A/N :

Hi there, thank you for taking the time to read my new diary styled new ChickLit series:

"The Diaries of an Older Collegiate"(#TheFreshman).

If this chapter ignited an interest for this series, please let me know by reblogging or sending me a message. It helps a lot and keeps me motivated. Till then stay healthy :)

Love and Kisses,

D <3

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Super Mario Sunshine (3D All Stars)

Played this about five years ago through a GameCube emulator. It was a lot of fun, but it didn't quite feel like a full Mario installment. I'm glad I get to try it again via Super Mario 3D All Stars.

At the time of Sunshine's original release, I was a.) Anti-Nintendo and b.) More interested in "mature" games. But also, I was turned off by the focus on sunny locales and water. Now that I'm way more environmentalist, I appreciate the focus on cleaning up the environment and water + sunshine being our best friend. But still, the fact that every level takes place in a tropical paradise gives the game a monotone vibe, despite the great things it achieves.

I just recently finished Super Mario 64, so it's fresh enough to make some comparisons. Firstly, Sunshine has a story--kinda. I love 3D platformers, and I love story. But They maybe put too much emphasis on a ridiculous concept. Some kind of shadow Mario has made a mess, for which real Mario was thrown in jail, and now real Mario has to use a back-pack water gun to prove his innocence.

Compared to 64's Castle, I kind of like the hub town. It's large and interesting. I remember exploring it a few years ago. It's neat how it's filled with secrets and townsfolk. Great place to test out the mechanics. It's not "traditional" Mario, but it's pretty cool.

Bianco Hills

The level layout seemed a little weird the first time I played this. It starts off "linear" with a path. Then leads into an open area. But it probably should have led to a more welcoming town entrance. Instead, it feels like a back entrance, or maintenace entrance. Just doesn't put its best foot forward. Still, it's an interesting township next to a palm orchid and windmill. Compared to Mario 64 levels, this has a strong sense of "place". It almost feels lived in.

The windmill almost functions like the tower in the first level of M64. It has a path that wraps around with a few jumps, and then leads to a boss fight. This boss fight was a bit more challenging than was necessary. It's an interesting idea, but I still wasn't comfortable with the controls yet, and there's not much of a window to attack the plant. Then at the same time, a variety of other enemies are always after you. So it's pretty hard when you're still getting used to the game.

There's a couple of "obstacle" levels. Basically floating platforms with no real theme, very reminiscent of Bowser levels from Mario 64. I remember hating these, especially because I didn't realize Mario could just walk across edges of the rotating cubes. But even with that knowledge now in hand, these levels are annoying. This is probably where I spent most my time.

After completing the level, you can go back and hit a red-button. This activates 8 red coins to be collected before the time runs out. Luckily, they let you keep your water-pack, but this was some really stressful gaming.

I'm not sure if I'm gonna go for all the Shines (stars). There's 30 blue coins to be collected in every level, and that's a lot of work for what's supposed to be a casual experience. I may save those for last and see how I feel.

Controls

Mario 64 had mostly great controls. You could run, walk, sneak, jump, double jump, triple jump, butt stomp, back flip--everything!! Mario Sunshine feels a little more limited. There's no back flip, as far as I understand. It seems a lot has been replaced with the water-cannon. It's taking me some time to figure out. I kind of wish instead of toggling the nozzle, they were just different buttons for water-hosing and jet-packing. Do we really need to waste a shoulder button on a useless map? Also, the camera is a little awkward. It's better than Mario 64, which basically had a crap camera that did more to hurt the player than help at times. This camera has way more user control, but instead of looking "up and down", the camera moves "in and out". This probably helps sometimes, but for the most part I just got confused why the camera was zoomed out so often.

Super Mario 64 still holds up to me. Sunshine needed to make a huge splash to truly differentiate, and it just doesn't feel like it does at the moment. If anything, Mario Sunshine feels like it should have just been a level, or series of levels, as part of a larger Mario experience.