#Somebody call the circus they've lost a clown

[nikyiscreepy]

Crushinggg

I’m not sure if I’ll ever post this because I’m insecure as hell, but if I do, then I’m sorry, this is going to be long and pretty cringe-y.

Since we all know at this point that Niky is a lesbian, let me show you her rollercoaster of random crushes through the years, because why the hell not.

First year Niky was a confused crybaby, because everything was new: new country, new magical life and new friends. This made her often feel uncomfortable and lost, but with her new friends around everything was a bit brighter. She has always been that kind of person that considers their friends as a part of their family and since her true family was far away, she got attached to them quite fast and easily. After a couple of months into this new world, one of her friends started to tickle her heart and that friend was no other than one of Hogwarts’ popular girls: Penny Haywood. At first, Niky avoided Penny because she still had the bad memories of her old muggle school hunting her mind, but she soon realized that, thank God, Penny wasn’t like the popular girls of her nightmares. Penny was very kind and prone to give a hand whenever she needed an extra one, always with a good pep talk ready and really, REALLY pretty. However, this mini crush lasted for about a few months before the end of year one. Niky never told Penny she fancied her.

Year three Niky started a bit numb, because of the “incident” of the year before. She really felt bad about it, so much that she didn’t wear her house colors the whole year (exept in her classes obviously, but even there she felt guilty of wearing them) because she felt like she wasn’t deserving of it. However, she soon puts this feeling of guilt in second place when she had randomly met Sabina Ivyash, a fifth year Ravenclaw, while serching for Bill. After a few days of asking information about her, she finally had the courage to go talk to her and soon became friends. It was actually quite easy to talk to her, Sabina was a very solar and silly person, confident, full of ideas and always ready for the adventure. But after a few months, Niky’s head got more focused on finding the cursed vault and on learning about buggarts, than thinking about her little crush on Sabina. Until Chirstmas break. 

When the break ended, Niky was pleased to see a new face in her Herbology class. A very cute face. It was Persephone Palerosine, a second year Slytherin. Niky already knew Persephone, but only because she’s friends with Sabina, they never talked before. Likely because Persephone is very reserved and highly focused on her own success and ambitions, thus the reason why she, a second year, was having a few extra hours with the third year. She wanted to be the best of her year in Herbology at all costs, so that she could become a professional herbologiest outside of Hogwarts. At first, Persephone always tried to end every conversation with Niky as soon as possible because she knew about the “drama” that surrounded her and her brother and she didn’t want anything to do with that, but after a while of her insisting to chat a bit she gave in and slowly became friends. Niky’s feelings were in conflict between the two girls, but she then decided to at least tell them what has been going on, so that at least her conscience would give her peace.

So she did...

...but it didn’t end up very well. Nothing to worry about though, it wasn’t a big deal in the end, since her feelings towards them had becoming lighter and lighter, day by day, becoming only a silly memory.

On year four however...

Things started to become odd, very odd. Whenever she encountered Merula, she started shaking. Maybe it was still the feeling of guilt about the “incident” on year two kicking in, or at least that was what Niky hoped was about. Then, she started to find herself starring at her during classes, but “I’m just very distracted and since she’s always near to me, it’s the first thing that my eyes gets on...” was always her excuse. Then she started to draw her during Care of Magical Creatures, sometimes in a funny way, other times as a normal sketch of her that she kept with her, but that was all for fun and games it didn’t mean anything. However, when Niky slowly started to consider that maybe her actions towards Merula weren’t so random afterall, she received her final and crucial proof of what she hoped it wasn’t real, was actually happening: She started to bleed out of her mouth while thinking of her. For people who have a normal heart, that would mean that you’re about to die, but for people who have a bigger heart (literally) that means that you’re simply feeling a very strong emotion and your heart is just pumping faster, producing a bit too much blood. That was it, there's no way to deny it anymore.

She's crushing over her. She likes her, a lot that is and this time, it wasn't something light and easy to deal with like the other times before, oh no. Niky obviously didn't take the news very well at first (not that "Lilith" was doing any better), but after a while she accepted it and embrace it. She actually started to wonder what made her crush over her and she wanted to know her a bit better outside of the gossips, so she started to ""casually"" spend some time with her.